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littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead


littlebird

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18 hours ago, littlebird said:

I am so anxious that I’m physically dreading the Pristiq. I was supposed to take it 30 minutes ago, and it’s like swallowing a poison. I know it’s going to get even jumpier around here! Being more productive today, which feels good. Getting things done! Neighbors are all home today, so the backyard is hopping, but one made me a nice cup of tea and we had a chat which was a nice break from work. 

I can relate so well to this. The feeling of taking poison and the anxiety. It does get better but it can be gruelling getting through it. Getting out in nature helps massively. I hope this passes relatively quickly for you!

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

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  • Mentor
6 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Honestly, having self compassion and engaging in self care is pretty new to me but makes a huge difference. I used to push through at work after therapy (and still do at times) but when I take the afternoon off and engage in self care I rebound from a session much faster.

New to me too! I used to be super Tough Love (with an emphasis on tough and very rare love). I once met a guy from New York who said, “If anyone talked to me the way I talk to myself, I’d punch ‘em in the @%$#ing nose.”

 

Self-compassion is a much easier way of life!

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor

10am - Ooh, anorexia loud today. Hard to get anything started food-wise.

 

10:30am - Haven’t managed to eat, and taking meds on an empty stomach yesterday wasn’t cool.

 

11am - Managed some steel-cut oats, and took meds 30 minutes late. I’m wondering, especially since mornings are the worst for Anorexia, if I need to change my schedule to make med time at 11 so I can stick to the same time every day a little more easily.

 

11:30am - Feeling like a hot mess today! I was supposed to walk with a friend around the neighborhood, and this isn’t the toughest friend, and I started getting worried about what I’d do if we were attacked again. Post traumatic stress who? I feel so weak for doing this, but I’m so anxious that I can’t walk over to their house and suggested we chat instead. They were very understanding, but I feel so weak!

 

12pm - Had the realization that if I’m thinking about work, it better be when I’m on the clock. I either need to clock in and do what I’m thinking of, or write it down to do later. Maybe this will keep me from stressing so much when I’m off the clock. On a somewhat related note, I’ve been staying up/working too late. Mornings would be easier if I can get myself to bed sooner.

 

1pm - Had a call with the friend I was going to walk with, which was really nice. Glad they were understanding about the anxiety.

 

2:30pm - I’m having a rough Friday. Trying to get a little sun on this cold day by working in the backyard, and talked to a neighbor working from home who was saying no one in her company works Fridays, but they still all get paid for a full day. So jealous! Definitely not the culture where I am, we’re grinding.

 

Made plans for the weekend to try and get out of the house (and not work so much). The hummingbirds are out today! It’s been nice to watch them while I work. Going to bake a cake to both warm up the house and challenge Annie Anorexia, who is being a real nag today.

 

I’m not even getting through to a human anymore at Kaiser. Seems like talking to a psychiatrist is a pipe dream. Everything is redirecting to a full voicemail system. What is happening over there? Complaint system still down.

 

My partner says since we got married legally fairly recently, we can potentially change our insurance when we file that paperwork. Or something like that. I really perked up at the idea of no more Kaiser, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Speaking of getting married, we’re planning a ceremony for later this year and wedding stress is real. Happy reason for stress, but yikes what a lot of work and competition in a wedding boom.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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8 minutes ago, littlebird said:

New to me too! I used to be super Tough Love (with an emphasis on tough and very rare love). I once met a guy from New York who said, “If anyone talked to me the way I talk to myself, I’d punch ‘em in the @%$#ing nose.”

 

Self-compassion is a much easier way of life!

Ha! Can completely relate to the guy from New York. I was so horrible to myself. Ridiculous. The self compassion doesn’t come naturally or easily but it comes….. that’s pretty massive for me. Also, I love New York. An amazing city. Had the time of my life and would love to go back with more time and money.

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

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12 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Made plans for the weekend to try and get out of the house (and not work so much). The hummingbirds are out today! It’s been nice to watch them while I work.

Sorry you’re struggling today. I just wanted to say I absolutely love hummingbirds and can watch them for ages. We don’t have them in Australia. I miss them. Hang in there you’re doing well! The biggest part of this journey is hanging in there and being patient.

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

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  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Thorin said:

I just wanted to say I absolutely love hummingbirds and can watch them for ages. We don’t have them in Australia. I miss them.

I wish I could get some to you without messing up a delicate ecosystem. They’re such fun little birds! Some have been getting quite bold and coming close since I started putting up feeders.

 

1 hour ago, Thorin said:

Hang in there you’re doing well! The biggest part of this journey is hanging in there and being patient.

Patience does not come naturally to me, but what a good opportunity to develop some more. You know, it’s funny I say it doesn’t come naturally, because when I tell people I used to teach special education, 90% of the time they say, “You must be such a patient person.”

 

Funny how I can have so much patience for others, and so little for myself! Part of the self-compassion piece, I suppose. 

 

Trying to be patient with the fact that I’m straight up having a hard afternoon. Anxious as all get out (Pristiq was a bad idea today, but I’m trying to take it every day, same time).

 

Can’t. Get. A. Psychiatrist! So tired of pointless phone tag journeys that lead nowhere. At this point, I’d take 100mg Wellbutrin IR to start tapering off literally anyone, but the local dealers don’t **** with that sort of thing. If there’s a backchannel SA on the dark web for med exchange, hook me up! I got some useless Prozac sitting around. Mods, I am totally joking and not looking to crime (but honestly what a good way to help each other out in the hellscape of modern for profit healthcare).

 

Losing my mind! Ah well, what can you do when that happens except go with it? I’m letting myself lose it, the mind will come back. I feel inwardly like a pissed off 3 year old that wants to stomp and yell, so I’m just sitting with that. That’s real and valid, little littlebird! Life gets rough sometimes.

 

Thought I was about to have a little cry, but when I try to give in to the tears they disappear. Does anyone else have trouble crying? I feel like I really, really need to cry and it just won’t get past tears in the eyes and choked up throat. Oop, we got two tears. Progress!! Gonna see if I can have keep it going and get some feelings out.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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7 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Patience does not come naturally to me, but what a good opportunity to develop some more. You know, it’s funny I say it doesn’t come naturally, because when I tell people I used to teach special education, 90% of the time they say, “You must be such a patient person.

I was always one of those people that had to take action immediately to change the situation and change the way I felt. Therapy and tapering have been a very hard lesson in sitting with things and letting them pass in their own time.

9 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Thought I was about to have a little cry, but when I try to give in to the tears they disappear. Does anyone else have trouble crying? I feel like I really, really need to cry and it just won’t get past tears in the eyes and choked up throat. Oop, we got two tears. Progress!! Gonna see if I can have keep it going and get some feelings out.

I could not cry at all for many years. This will come back as you lower those dose of the meds you’re on. Then the floodgates open! Going from a ‘tough guy’ (emotionally) to someone that would cry at the wrong TV commercial ended up being hilarious. I’m on a more even keel emotionally now but WD definitely rocks the emotion boat!

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

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  • Mentor
4 hours ago, Thorin said:

I’m on a more even keel emotionally now but WD definitely rocks the emotion boat!

Doesn’t it though? Saw an internet video that was cute and uplifting but also made me tear up all over again. So many feelings!

 

Noticed all week I was out of the loop on sales calls. I guess my nasty black eye reflects poorly on the company? Less meetings in my schedule. Still, one more weirdness following the attack and I don’t like how much my life and work have been affected by one brief event.

 

Ran into some friends while walking dog and had to explain black eye. I’d been enjoying not thinking about mugging and looking at all the greenery! Ah well, it’s a whole lot better than it was a week ago and should be gone in a couple weeks. The black eye, but ideally the trauma too! Ha, like trauma-work can be scheduled. I know better than that.

 

Went out for some drinks and dinner with my partner, fun and low key. We don’t often eat out, so that was a nice treat. Feeling like a limp cooked noodle after this week, and I think I’m going to cuddle up with my dog and watch the new Drag Race. Also realized I’ve been logging more time working this week than I’d originally thought, so I’m choosing to tell myself that  I’m doing flipping great a week after some trauma.

 

Hoping my replacement laptop arrives soon! This old device can’t handle everything I need it to do. What a frustrating week it was, but TGIF baybeeeee.

 

I think I’m going to start logging some wins: new clients, making progress in a lot of ways, baked a cake that I keep nibbling at so Annie Anorexia is on a back foot, I have some fun plans tomorrow, and I get to relax and watch drag queens now

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

Link to comment
23 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Went out for some drinks and dinner with my partner, fun and low key. We don’t often eat out, so that was a nice treat. Feeling

Doing stuff like this is key. Even if you don’t really feel like it.

 

24 minutes ago, littlebird said:

week, and I think I’m going to cuddle up with my dog and watch the new Drag Race

This is also key!

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Having a rough weekend! So frustrated to be stuck in a holding pattern with meds and unable to talk to a doctor about it, when I need to be on less of these. Stat.

 

Maybe time to bypass the broken complaint system at Kaiser and complain to some higher authority about the substandard care? 

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

Link to comment
  • Mentor

I’m having an unexpected struggle. There’s a rich tech dude who bought the house next to us, and he’s fine (shy, soft spoken, polite) but I felt something… off. Didn’t know how to explain it, so was polite and mostly kept to myself when he was out and about. This past week, he chased his girlfriend out of the house and beat her in the street. He was arrested, but is back. Now, she’s back too. 

 

He’s all apologies to her and love-bombing, and I’ve been having my noise cancellation headphones in when I’m in the backyard to avoid it. I want to tell her to run, but that’s too far. I’m surprised by how much this is affecting me. I think it’s activated the “no one is safe” fear from my childhood, and I find myself wondering who else is harboring a vicious monster inside.

 

At least I haven’t seen the guy who looks like the mugger creeping around this weekend! A neighbor told him to clear out when he was caught casing a house. It’s been nice not to see his creepy ass come by and smile like a shark at me. We have so many reasons to move, but live in a high cost of living area with a housing crisis so this isn’t so easy.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Moderator
17 hours ago, littlebird said:

Having a rough weekend! So frustrated to be stuck in a holding pattern with meds and unable to talk to a doctor about it, when I need to be on less of these. Stat.

 

I am sorry that you are having a rough weekend. I can understand the desire to get off of these medications ASAP as I am currently spending a week on a full liquid suspension before I do my first drop even though I have been tempted to make my drop already but trying to remind myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and slow and steady wins the race.

 

Pre- October 2022: Wellbutrin, Escitalopram, CitalopramSertraline, Adderall IR, Vyvanse, Propranolol, Buspar, Ativan, and Latuda

Oct 13, 2022 - Oct 24, 2022 and Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Zyprexa (2.5 mg). Jan 14, 2023 -> Began transition to liquid suspension. Jan 29, 2023 = 2.375mg -> Feb 12, 2023 = 2.25mg -> Feb 27, 2023 = 2.14mg -> Mar 12, 2023 = 2.025mg -> Mar 27, 2023 = 1.93mg -> Apr 10, 2023 = 1.82mg -> Apr 23, 2023 = 1.74mg -> May 7, 2023 = 1.64mg -> May 21, 2023 = 1.56mg -> June 4, 2023 = 1.48mg -> June 19, 2023 = 1.4mg -> July 2, 2023 = 1.33mg -> July 16, 2023 = 1.26mg -> July 31, 2023 = 1.2mg -> Aug 13, 2023 = 1.14mg -> Aug 27, 2023 = 1.08mg -> Sep 13, 2023 = 1.02mg -> Jan 22, 2024 = 0.97mg -> Feb 4, 2024 = 0.92mg -> Feb 19, 2024 = 0.87mg -> Mar 3, 2024 = 0.83mg -> Mar 17, 2024 = 0.78mg

Oct 14, 2022 - Present: Prozac (40mg) upped from 20mg on Nov 1, 2022.

Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Gabapentin (300mg 3x day) -> May 3, 2023 = 300mg 2x day -> Oct 1, 2023 = 570mg -> Oct 15, 2023 = 540mg -> Oct 29, 2023 = 510mg -> Nov 13, 2023 = 484mg -> Nov 27, 2023 = 460mg -> Dec 9, 2023 = 436mg -> Dec 24, 2023 = 414mg -> Jan 7, 2024 = 400mg

 

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5 hours ago, FireflyFyte said:

I have been tempted to make my drop already but trying to remind myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and slow and steady wins the race.

Yes, that’s an affirmation I’ll keep reminding myself of. Slow and steady is the way.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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11am - Darn, this Wellbutrin really makes the ole anxiety and heart rate go way up when it hits.

 

12:30pm - Time to take Pristiq, and dreading it. Leaving messages to the med support staff on Kaiser, hopefully someone will get back to me! Did the same last week, so maybe not. I’m wondering if calling their crisis line would help? The thing is, as frustrating as this is, I’m not in crisis in that I’m a danger to myself or others. Doesn’t feel right to try to get care that way, although I’m reaching the end of my rope here.

 

Starting Meru Health, that automated program I mentioned last week. They sent a biofeedback device, which will be a new one for me. Watching the introductory videos today during lunch so I can get started with the program and see what this is like. 

 

Meru seems largely mindfulness-based, which I’m open to. Sometimes mindfulness/meditation/grounding will make me aware of a little landmine of trauma in my body or brain. So I usually prefer to just go go go! Whiiiiich is probably contributing to my anxiety being so high.

 

1pm - Pushed taking Pristiq out of anxiety about the incoming anxiety that comes when I take Pristiq. This internal resistance is becoming quite the obstacle to taking it on time! Forcing myself to go take it now.

 

5pm - Realized I’d been getting so stressed in the afternoon that I’d been forgetting my Gabapentin, a few times in a row. I didn’t remember it until too close to bedtime, and it interacts with Seroquel, so I went without. Then forgot all over again the next day. Other than that, I’ve been much better about the strict schedule. Going to set some reminders about Gabapentin tomorrow. I remembered it today, so I’m officially back on the schedule.

 

10pm - Today was fine, but felt like a real slog. You know those days where it’s like you’re slogging through mud, each step taking more effort than usual? Just gotta keep slogging and hope for more ease tomorrow! 

 

I’m kind of beating myself up for having been working on my front porch with my laptop after dark. I keep running into blocks because of using an old laptop, and each time it’s a reminder that my choices led to the mugging. I guess I’m not over it yet, would like to fast-track that. Ha, looked at my phone and a friend shared a self-compassion meditation that she said has been helping her lately. Good timing!

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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4 minutes ago, littlebird said:

They sent a biofeedback device, which will be a new one for me. Watching the introductory videos today during lunch so I can get started with the program and see what this is like.

I’d be really interested to hear how this goes for you. Please keep me updated!

5 minutes ago, littlebird said:

to. Sometimes mindfulness/meditation/grounding will make me aware of a little landmine of trauma in my body or brain. So

When I do mindfulness based stuff I often focus on external things for this very reason.

6 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Today was fine, but felt like a real slog. You know those days where it’s like you’re slogging through mud, each step taking more effort than usual? Just gotta keep slogging and hope for more ease tomorrow! 

This was me yesterday and to a lesser degree today also. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you’ll get there eventually!

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

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9 hours ago, littlebird said:

I’m kind of beating myself up for having been working on my front porch with my laptop after dark. I keep running into blocks because of using an old laptop, and each time it’s a reminder that my choices led to the mugging. I guess I’m not over it yet, would like to fast-track that. Ha, looked at my phone and a friend shared a self-compassion meditation that she said has been helping her lately. Good timing!

 

You are not at fault for being mugged. The blame falls solely on the person who mugged you. 

 

Hope the self-compassion meditation was helpful.

 

Pre- October 2022: Wellbutrin, Escitalopram, CitalopramSertraline, Adderall IR, Vyvanse, Propranolol, Buspar, Ativan, and Latuda

Oct 13, 2022 - Oct 24, 2022 and Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Zyprexa (2.5 mg). Jan 14, 2023 -> Began transition to liquid suspension. Jan 29, 2023 = 2.375mg -> Feb 12, 2023 = 2.25mg -> Feb 27, 2023 = 2.14mg -> Mar 12, 2023 = 2.025mg -> Mar 27, 2023 = 1.93mg -> Apr 10, 2023 = 1.82mg -> Apr 23, 2023 = 1.74mg -> May 7, 2023 = 1.64mg -> May 21, 2023 = 1.56mg -> June 4, 2023 = 1.48mg -> June 19, 2023 = 1.4mg -> July 2, 2023 = 1.33mg -> July 16, 2023 = 1.26mg -> July 31, 2023 = 1.2mg -> Aug 13, 2023 = 1.14mg -> Aug 27, 2023 = 1.08mg -> Sep 13, 2023 = 1.02mg -> Jan 22, 2024 = 0.97mg -> Feb 4, 2024 = 0.92mg -> Feb 19, 2024 = 0.87mg -> Mar 3, 2024 = 0.83mg -> Mar 17, 2024 = 0.78mg

Oct 14, 2022 - Present: Prozac (40mg) upped from 20mg on Nov 1, 2022.

Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Gabapentin (300mg 3x day) -> May 3, 2023 = 300mg 2x day -> Oct 1, 2023 = 570mg -> Oct 15, 2023 = 540mg -> Oct 29, 2023 = 510mg -> Nov 13, 2023 = 484mg -> Nov 27, 2023 = 460mg -> Dec 9, 2023 = 436mg -> Dec 24, 2023 = 414mg -> Jan 7, 2024 = 400mg

 

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1 hour ago, FireflyFyte said:

You are not at fault for being mugged. The blame falls solely on the person who mugged you. 

Thank you! I would never tell anyone else they were at fault for a crime happening to them, but it’s a lot easier to be compassionate with others. I’ve been thinking how I hold myself at a higher standard, which is probably just some good ole “never good enough” childhood wounding at work. It’s a process!

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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10am - Had another rough night; been having a lot of those lately. Some mornings I wake up from nightmares in a weird state of mind, and need to take a little time to recenter. My partner and I work together, and while it’s useful information to tell them, “Bad morning,” it also feels like a complain-y way to start my day. 

 

I’d been wanting some sort of nonverbal signal, and found a tiny stuffed animal that flips inside out, one side is a grumpy face, one side is a happy face. I got it, and put it on a bookshelf. When it’s a rough morning, it’s flipped to grumps. When I’m good to go, I flip it to the sunny side as a sign that it’s a green light to start asking work questions.

 

3pm - Still riding the anxious waves that Pristiq and Wellbutrin bring on! Found a great ADHD hack. I’m taking an online digital marketing course, and my attention always wanders during video lessons. Instead, I’ve been reading the transcripts, staying focused, and making much better time than I would have watching each video.

 

4:30pm - Took my afternoon dose of Gabapentin and it’s barely making a dent in the anxiety. Saw I missed a call while working, and it was from the psych team! They finally got back to me, and I missed it! I called back, and got a voicemail system saying to expect to wait 1-2 days to hear a reply. Really trying not to kick myself for that one, gotta stay glued to the phone. I advocated over and over and waited 2 weeks for that call! Darn it. 😩

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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7 hours ago, littlebird said:

I’d been wanting some sort of nonverbal signal,

I love this!  I started wearing my headache hat, sort of a compression gel hat thing, which will be worn at the office because it has to be.  I will be informing others it's my "don't **** with me hat" and when I have it on, I'm going to be in an extra spicy mood LOL  Funny, I never used to understand non verbal communication, and now I realize it probably tells more than words do.  

 

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

Still riding the anxious waves that Pristiq and Wellbutrin bring on!

Wouldn't wish this for you, however I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that gets this effect.  

 

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

Instead, I’ve been reading the transcripts, staying focused, and making much better time than I would have watching each video.

Thank you for this.  I've been watching some videos 3 or 4 times and I drift off, I think this will help!  

 

7 hours ago, littlebird said:

Really trying not to kick myself for that one,

I've had this sort of thing happen recently, and it's a bummer.  It seems like nothing happens very quickly with the System.   

I am not a doctor and do not offer any medical advice, only my own experience.  Consult your physician.

2011-2015 tapered off 300MG of Effexor.  Back in the Paxil Progress days.  No rebound.   

2005-2021:  450 mg Bupropion XL Daily

2021 Buporopion May 450mg/June 400mg/July 375mg/Aug 10th 360mg/

2021 Dec - 150mg IR, 3x day = 450mg Bup, Heritage manufacturer-yellow color pill. 

2022 May 3 - 3 x 150mg IR Bup, Avet brand(pharmacist said they merged with Heritage-orange color) -migraines

REINSTATED-BACK TO MY LAST STABLE DOSE/TIME RELEASE

2022 June 5 - switched back to 3 x 150mg XL one time per day= 450 mg total Bup-Apotex brand

CURRENT TAPER 2022 Aug 31 - 450MG to 412MG IR Bup//Sep. 28, 2022: 412mg to 375mg//Oct 26, 2022: 375mg to 365 mg//Nov 21, 2022: 365mg to 327mg//Dec 27, 2022: 327 mg to 290 mg//Dec 31, 2022:  290mg to 262mg//Jan 28, 2023:  262mg to 190mg//Feb. 19, 2023:  190mg to 140mg//Mar. 18, '23:  140mg to 100mg//

 

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11 hours ago, j1290 said:

I've been watching some videos 3 or 4 times and I drift off, I think this will help!

It’s been so helpful! I drift off especially fast if it’s something I already know, then I’d catch myself thinking about something else and realizing they were onto a topic I didn’t know about and had to rewind or start over. SO much easier to read through the material.

 

I love your don’t **** with me hat!! Does it help a lot with the headaches? Gosh, there’s nothing like trying to concentrate and be a polite human with a terrible headache. I hope those ease for you soon! I used to get monster-bad migraines, and weirdly when I started going to acupuncture for something else, I realized the headaches had been helped by the treatments as well. I should get back into acupuncture maybe…

 

When I told the practitioner I had PTSD she popped a series of needles into my ear and said she could help with that. It helped a lot with hyper-vigilance, and she also used to send me home with an “ear seed,” which is a tiny sticker with a mustard seed on it that gets put over a specific spot. I would press on it to do acupressure, and it lasted a few days even with showering and sleeping on that side.

 

Now that I’ve worked through my morning grumps, I should switch that little critter back to the happy side to signal it’s safe to approach. I hadn’t tried to do a pic here before, let’s see if I can add one. I got a little rainbow axolotl. @Thorin, maybe your son could use a nonverbal signal like this for when he’s feeling Extra Teen Grumps vs safe to approach?

 

I didn’t order one of these for awhile because I thought it was “too childish,” and now that it’s here actually my inner children love it and think it’s an adorable reflection of how they feel. Glad I went for it! Who cares if there’s a stuffed animal on my living room shelf? Why was I judging myself for considering a helpful tool just because it’s also cute?

 

Our mailman just got robbed for the third time this month! We haven’t had mail since the second robbery over a week ago, and might not get USPS for even longer now. There’s a huge rise in attacks on mail delivery. Why aren’t they going after amazon trucks? Seems like a better get and that’s not a federal crime, but hey, I’m not a criminal. What do I know about that?

 

I heard back from the psychiatrist!! Unfortunately it was the same one as before and he med-shamed me for feeling sick on such a low dose of Prozac, then said he could get me the liquid version they give babies. Which made me want to ask, “Why y’all dosing babies?” I tried googling it, and couldn’t find much. Maybe it’s a treatment for babies whose moms took Prozac while pregnant? Or something they use to treat babies born addicted to illegal drugs? Really didn’t find too much on the why, but a lot about the side effects Prozac has on newborns. Jeez Louise, what a rabbit hole.

 

WOOHOO, my replacement laptop just arrived as I was writing! Between that and getting an email from the psychiatrist, it’s all coming up littlebird on this Wednesday. Whew, I can finally start to tackle the things that my old computer couldn’t handle. Watch out, work! Here I come.

 

While I wait for data to transfer so I can get started on new machine, I wanted to share a win. I’d been having some insecurity around work, and yesterday got some unexpected feedback/compliments from my boss that show I’m totally on the right track. Anxiety and imposter syndrome, give it a rest!

C4B21D60-FBCE-4B3B-AAAF-B6117DC6FF05.jpeg

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor
On 1/15/2023 at 5:14 PM, Altostrata said:

Suggest you stop Prozac, get the liquid.

Sounds like I could be getting this, unfortunately it’s from the same dumb doc so I am wary of any of his prescribing advice. Do you have any thoughts on the best way to incorporate liquid Prozac into my med schedule? Currently, it’s:

 

11am - Wellbutrin 100mg & Gabapentin 150mg

1pm - Pristiq 100mg

5pm - Gabapentin 100-150mg (depending on if I have a premade capsule with me, or have to make do with a 100mg premade. I know, be more consistent, working on it, just being upfront about my lapses)

Bedtime - Seroquel

 

I asked for Wellbutrin IR so I can try tapering that instead, have not heard back yet. Fingers crossed! He suggested I wait until my scheduled appt at the end of February, and I’m pushing back against that. Can’t keep feeling this worked up and anxious every day, I’m shortening my life here with the stress.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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3 hours ago, littlebird said:

When I told the practitioner I had PTSD she popped a series of needles into my ear and said she could help with that. It helped a lot with hyper-vigilance, and she also used to send me home with an “ear seed,” which is a tiny sticker with a mustard seed on it that gets put over a specific spot. I would press on it to do acupressure, and it lasted a few days even with showering and sleeping on that side.

I’m waiting to hear back about an acupuncture appointment at the moment. Hope it does some good!

3 hours ago, littlebird said:

Now that I’ve worked through my morning grumps, I should switch that little critter back to the happy side to signal it’s safe to approach. I hadn’t tried to do a pic here before, let’s see if I can add one. I got a little rainbow axolotl. @Thorin, maybe your son could use a nonverbal signal like this for when he’s feeling Extra Teen Grumps vs safe to approach?

That’s a great idea that I’ll raise with him. Thanks for thinking of us. Everything’s actually come into the light yesterday with regard to my son and I now understand a bit of what’s going on for him. It’s too big for a 14 year old to handle alone. I hope he lets me help.

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension.

Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg

Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC.

 

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  • Mentor
1 hour ago, Thorin said:

Everything’s actually come into the light yesterday with regard to my son and I now understand a bit of what’s going on for him. It’s too big for a 14 year old to handle alone. I hope he lets me help

You’re already helping by being safe and supportive and open to listening and helping. So glad to hear he’s opened up to you about what was going on! Hope he lets you help too, but just wanted to affirm that you already are helping him by sharing the burden.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor

11am - Wellbutrin time! Emailed a doctor about getting on IR, but haven’t heard back. I keep logging in to the insurance app and checking, but no reply yet. I’m down to try the “baby dose Prozac,” but also I’m wondering if I could just taper without support if I go real slow on the Wellbutrin. Maybe with some time on the IR to get used to it first.

 

2pm - Anxious mess! So wanting to get off these meds. Really hard to focus on tasks, so I’m pushing through the marketing course. Learning the names for things I was already doing, so feeling better about not having a background in this. I’m figuring it out as I go, and that’s fine!

 

All the crime in our neighborhood, my mugging top of the list, are making my partner and I look at other places to live. Renting is so expensive around here, even elsewhere in the state. It’s a lovely liberal state, so I’m inclined to stay here if I can.

 

Anorexia is being a real influence, and that’s not helping the anxiety. Gotta eat and maintain blood sugar and whatnot.

 

My partner and I started the Meru Health program and were super underwhelmed. I have some thoughts about their user experience. Might have a full UX report for them by the end of this.

 

3:30pm - Yikes, hate how the Pristiq makes me feel. I’m so bummed the initial Prozac-boosted taper didn’t work. My heart is pounding, as per usual in the afternoons after adding Pristiq into the mix. Hoping that less Wellbutrin in my system will make the Pristiq land a little easier, we’ll see.

 

Loving the replacement computer! Got it all set up, and I’m flying along. Feeling a lot of brain fog and it’s like feeling my way through an actual fog to try and get thoughts into words. Not cool!

 

Could this doc please get back to me? Damn, I thought I was making progress when I got a message from him. I’m impatient to get on with the taper and don’t want to wait till the end of next month to start.

 

6pm - Ooh, what a mood I’m in! Still no word back from doc. I’m a grumpy bear frustrated with myself and the world and I’d like to roar (but instead am quietly grumbling). I was hoping to get a prescription today to start tapering, but ah well. Might reply back if I don’t hear from him by noon and share the side effects I’m feeling leading to me asking for this change? Who knows. Glad y’all are here, I’d be feeling a lot less alone without this online space. 

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Administrator

I am more than a little gobsmacked about your question of adding Prozac to your already bizarre drug. combination.

 

As our conversation proceeded, it emerged that you probably were suffering adverse effects of Wellbutrin. However, you were also taking your drugs inconsistently.

 

On 1/15/2023 at 5:48 PM, Altostrata said:

It's very important that you take your drugs on a consistent schedule. The variation in your Wellbutrin dosing could be causing some of your problems.

 

Taking Prozac with that cocktail is stupid, though.

 

On 1/16/2023 at 3:19 PM, Altostrata said:

You cannot skip Wellbutrin doses and just take gabapentin when you feel like it. You'll get Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms and who knows what else from the gabapentin. We're not going to be able to provide peer support unless you stick to a consistent dosing schedule.

 

Did you ever get on a consistent dosing schedule with your drugs?

 

What times o'clock do you take each of your drugs, with their dosages?

 

How did your symptom pattern change when you started taking your drugs more consistently (if you did that)?

 

If you ever do get on a consistent dosing schedule with a stable symptom pattern, if I were you, I'd start going off Wellbutrin rather than adding Prozac, another antidepressant, to the TWO antidepressants your'e already taking. Once you get rid of Wellbutrin, you can consider ways to go off Pristiq, which might involve Prozac.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Mentor
24 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I am more than a little gobsmacked about your question of adding Prozac to your already bizarre drug. combination.

What did you mean when you suggested getting the liquid? When you said:

On 1/15/2023 at 5:14 PM, Altostrata said:

Suggest you stop Prozac, get the liquid.

What liquid were you suggesting I get?

 

24 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Did you ever get on a consistent dosing schedule with your drugs?

 

24 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

If you ever do get on a consistent dosing schedule with a stable symptom pattern

 

I am on a consistent dosing schedule, it is listed above:

5 hours ago, littlebird said:

11am - Wellbutrin 100mg & Gabapentin 150mg

1pm - Pristiq 100mg

5pm - Gabapentin 150mg

Bedtime - Seroquel 

 

I have been taking them consistently on time, every day, and logging symptoms here with time stamps. Symptoms have not changed since meds have been on a schedule, they consistently make me feel as terrible on a schedule as they did when timing was more loose. It has not made a difference in how I feel, but I’m sure my nervous system appreciates it.

 

Gabapentin doesn’t make a dent in the anxiety caused by the Wellbutrin and Pristiq, but I felt the lack of it when I forgot it. My anxiety and high heart rate are so bad I am tempted to increase Gabapentin, but wary of the pancreatic issues it caused.

 

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor

Feeling so irritable that I could yowl like a feral cat! Trying to switch up my mood, and was inspired by a gratitude list @Carmie did. Maybe an “attitude of gratitude” is in order to turn my frown upside down:

  1. The weather was beautiful and I was able to comfortably work outside! I love doing this.
  2. There have been so many birds around! Lots of hummingbirds, but also lots of song birds attracted by a new suet feeder. Today I walked out and there was a bluebird (rare to see around here) on the porch. Made me think “bluebird of happiness,” which made me feel hopeful about future happiness.
  3. I got my replacement laptop today and it’s working like a dream! Nothing like going without to make me appreciate modern tech. Woohoo!
  4. Had a nice chat with a neighbor while walking the dog, which gave me a nice sense of connection
  5. I have a warm, safe place to sleep. Many don’t, and I’m grateful every day for my home!

I might need to make a practice of gratitude. That did shift my mood. Thank you for the idea, Carmie! Maybe a gratitude thread might be nice, if there isn’t one dedicated to that already.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Administrator

You had been talking about going off Pristiq by substituting 10mg Prozac, which proved to be too high a dose. That is why I mentioned liquid Prozac.

 

Then it emerged that Wellbutrin was causing anxiety , with possible irregular dosing of Pristiq and your other drugs and drug-drug interactions also contributing.

 

@Shep broke it down for you in October:

 

On 10/18/2022 at 4:17 AM, Shep said:

Here is the report off of a drug interaction checker:

 

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

11am - Wellbutrin 100mg & Gabapentin 150mg

1pm - Pristiq 100mg

5pm - Gabapentin 100-150mg (depending on if I have a premade capsule with me, or have to make do with a 100mg premade. I know, be more consistent, working on it, just being upfront about my lapses)

Bedtime - Seroquel

 

When you joined in October 2022, you were taking 25mg Pristiq. How did it get to be 100mg?

 

It still doesn't make any sense for you to take Wellbutrin and gabapentin at the same time.

 

Although it's prescribed as an anxiolytic, gabapentin is not an anxiolytic, and taking it ad hoc like a benzo might cause problems. You referred to "playing" with it earlier in this topic. Do not play with it.

 

As we reminded you before, please be consistent with your dosing. A 50mg variation in gabapentin from day to day or a variation in dosing by hours may cause withdrawal symptoms you feel as "anxiety".

 

Most likely, this is what's contributing to your current symptom pattern:

- Adverse reaction to Wellbutrin 

- Wellbutrin-Pristiq interaction (serotonin toxicity)

- Irregular dosing of gabapentin and possibly other drugs

- Drug-drug interactions

 

Rather than a narrative, please post your daily notes in this simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right.

 

We need to know what times o'clock you get spikes in anxiety or other symptoms.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Mentor
26 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

When you joined in October 2022, you were taking 25mg Pristiq. How did it get to be 100mg?

My mistake!! It's 25mg, I mistyped. My signature is correct, I have not gone up to that dose. My bad, apologies!

 

27 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

That is why I mentioned liquid Prozac.

Ah, got it! Okay, that's for the Pristiq and not for tapering in general. I misunderstood.

 

29 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

It still doesn't make any sense for you to take Wellbutrin and gabapentin at the same time.

Are they interacting? I started taking those at the same time because Shep said (on the first page of this thread), "There are no drug interactions found between Wellbutrin SR and Gabapentin, so those are safe to take together."

 

Should I be spacing those out as well?

 

I hear you on the discrepancy in Gabapentin dosages and will do better with my afternoon dose. Other than that, taking everything at full dose at scheduled times (and no longer skipping days of Pristiq).

 

38 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

You referred to "playing" with it earlier in this topic. Do not play with it.

Not playing with it, taking it at regular spaced out times. Initially, when prescribed, I was told I could go up and down in dosing when anxiety was high. I now know this is not a good idea and the doctor was wrong to recommend that.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor

Heard back from doctor!! He said most people are just fine cold turkey quitting Wellbutrin 100mg and I should stop taking it. I have a strong feeling that some folks on here might disagree with that. 

 

I told him I was open to trying this (trying to be a good patient), but explained that I got brain zaps when I haven’t taken Wellbutrin in the past and was a little nervous about those coming back.

 

While part of me read his cold turkey recommendation and thought (as @Altostrata so succinctly put it), “That’s dumb,” another part of me thought, “Maybe it really is as easy as just stopping the med!!” <- probably not, I know that’s too good to be true

 

Wondering if I should just skip Wellbutrin today like the doc said to do, and see what happens? This idea makes me nervous, especially as wise folks like @j1290 have warned me against even skipping one day of Wellbutrin.

 

Doc said the immediate release Wellbutrin I asked for to taper with would likely lead to more side effects from more of the med being in my system, so I asked about a lower dose of IR. We’ll see. 

 

Really wondering what to do here. Take Wellbutrin at regular time, full dose, or listen to doc and not take it. Anyone have any ideas? To take, or not to take…

 

13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Rather than a narrative, please post your daily notes in this simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right.

Thank you!! I’ve been doing this wrong. Starting a simple list format for today’s log.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor

Heard back from doc! He prescribed 75mg IR Wellbutrin (mail-ordered, should be here within the week if I'm lucky). He suggested I take half a pill "1-2 times a day to see if that helps with withdrawal." He said that the switch from SR to IR might make things worse, thus the much lower dose. Wondering what to expect with side effects! Only one way to find out.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Mentor

I've read the thread on tapering Wellbutrin before, but my brain is mad frazzled lately and my reading comprehension hasn't been 100%, so I'm giving it a re-read to try and work out the answers to my IR questions. Just wanted say WOW, @Altostrata, you have such extensive writing/research/work on this. If you ever write a book, I'm pre-ordering it immediately. Okay, back to lunchtime research.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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  • Moderator
3 hours ago, littlebird said:

Heard back from doctor!! He said most people are just fine cold turkey quitting Wellbutrin 100mg and I should stop taking it. I have a strong feeling that some folks on here might disagree with that. 

 

I told him I was open to trying this (trying to be a good patient), but explained that I got brain zaps when I haven’t taken Wellbutrin in the past and was a little nervous about those coming back.

 

While part of me read his cold turkey recommendation and thought (as @Altostrata so succinctly put it), “That’s dumb,” another part of me thought, “Maybe it really is as easy as just stopping the med!!” <- probably not, I know that’s too good to be true

 

I was able to stop Wellbutrin cold turkey (before I knew any better) but have read stories here of others who have not be so lucky and if you have already experienced brain zaps with missed doses then I would lean towards you not being one of the lucky ones - I'm afraid. 

 

Pre- October 2022: Wellbutrin, Escitalopram, CitalopramSertraline, Adderall IR, Vyvanse, Propranolol, Buspar, Ativan, and Latuda

Oct 13, 2022 - Oct 24, 2022 and Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Zyprexa (2.5 mg). Jan 14, 2023 -> Began transition to liquid suspension. Jan 29, 2023 = 2.375mg -> Feb 12, 2023 = 2.25mg -> Feb 27, 2023 = 2.14mg -> Mar 12, 2023 = 2.025mg -> Mar 27, 2023 = 1.93mg -> Apr 10, 2023 = 1.82mg -> Apr 23, 2023 = 1.74mg -> May 7, 2023 = 1.64mg -> May 21, 2023 = 1.56mg -> June 4, 2023 = 1.48mg -> June 19, 2023 = 1.4mg -> July 2, 2023 = 1.33mg -> July 16, 2023 = 1.26mg -> July 31, 2023 = 1.2mg -> Aug 13, 2023 = 1.14mg -> Aug 27, 2023 = 1.08mg -> Sep 13, 2023 = 1.02mg -> Jan 22, 2024 = 0.97mg -> Feb 4, 2024 = 0.92mg -> Feb 19, 2024 = 0.87mg -> Mar 3, 2024 = 0.83mg -> Mar 17, 2024 = 0.78mg

Oct 14, 2022 - Present: Prozac (40mg) upped from 20mg on Nov 1, 2022.

Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Gabapentin (300mg 3x day) -> May 3, 2023 = 300mg 2x day -> Oct 1, 2023 = 570mg -> Oct 15, 2023 = 540mg -> Oct 29, 2023 = 510mg -> Nov 13, 2023 = 484mg -> Nov 27, 2023 = 460mg -> Dec 9, 2023 = 436mg -> Dec 24, 2023 = 414mg -> Jan 7, 2024 = 400mg

 

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  • Mentor
6 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I was able to stop Wellbutrin cold turkey (before I knew any better)

Ooh, how was that? Part of me wants to try, but you're right, the brain zaps are a sign my body is likely too sensitive to meds. Slow and steady might have to be the way.

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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6 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Ooh, how was that? Part of me wants to try, but you're right, the brain zaps are a sign my body is likely too sensitive to meds. Slow and steady might have to be the way.

 

It was fine. I ran out of the medication and my psych's office was being a pain about sending in a refill so I decided just to stop. I didn't notice any differences aside from being less angry/reactive and I gained some weight as Wellbutrin was suppressing my appetite to a degree. Imagine my surprise when I realized I was accidently withdrawing from Latuda and it laid me out entirely - insomnia, extreme anxiety, SI, etc. so it's tough to know how our CNS will react but think the safest bet is the slow and steady one.

 

Pre- October 2022: Wellbutrin, Escitalopram, CitalopramSertraline, Adderall IR, Vyvanse, Propranolol, Buspar, Ativan, and Latuda

Oct 13, 2022 - Oct 24, 2022 and Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Zyprexa (2.5 mg). Jan 14, 2023 -> Began transition to liquid suspension. Jan 29, 2023 = 2.375mg -> Feb 12, 2023 = 2.25mg -> Feb 27, 2023 = 2.14mg -> Mar 12, 2023 = 2.025mg -> Mar 27, 2023 = 1.93mg -> Apr 10, 2023 = 1.82mg -> Apr 23, 2023 = 1.74mg -> May 7, 2023 = 1.64mg -> May 21, 2023 = 1.56mg -> June 4, 2023 = 1.48mg -> June 19, 2023 = 1.4mg -> July 2, 2023 = 1.33mg -> July 16, 2023 = 1.26mg -> July 31, 2023 = 1.2mg -> Aug 13, 2023 = 1.14mg -> Aug 27, 2023 = 1.08mg -> Sep 13, 2023 = 1.02mg -> Jan 22, 2024 = 0.97mg -> Feb 4, 2024 = 0.92mg -> Feb 19, 2024 = 0.87mg -> Mar 3, 2024 = 0.83mg -> Mar 17, 2024 = 0.78mg

Oct 14, 2022 - Present: Prozac (40mg) upped from 20mg on Nov 1, 2022.

Oct 31, 2022 - Present: Gabapentin (300mg 3x day) -> May 3, 2023 = 300mg 2x day -> Oct 1, 2023 = 570mg -> Oct 15, 2023 = 540mg -> Oct 29, 2023 = 510mg -> Nov 13, 2023 = 484mg -> Nov 27, 2023 = 460mg -> Dec 9, 2023 = 436mg -> Dec 24, 2023 = 414mg -> Jan 7, 2024 = 400mg

 

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2 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I gained some weight as Wellbutrin was suppressing my appetite to a degree

My anorexia is screaming at me to keep taking the appetite-suppressing med at full strength, but I'm reminding pesky anorexia that eating disorders have the highest death rate of any mental illness and I'm trying to LIVE baybeeeee! No wonder lunch is tough after taking Wellbutrin, I often go late in the day without realizing I haven't had an afternoon meal. 

 

Also... shoutout to the doctor who I told I had anorexia (at that time absolutely full blown, not eating all day) and needed to avoid appetite suppressants... who sent me home with a scrip for Wellbutrin AND Adderall. I knew the adderall would mess up my appetite and ended up not taking it for long, but the Wellbutrin... I didn't know that suppresses appetite too at that time. Now I know!

 

4 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

I didn't notice any differences aside from being less angry/reactive

Now that is some lovely news to hear. I'd love to feel this way! I'm so glad you were able to stop taking it and it went ok. Thank you for answering! It helps to hear others have successfully done this. Hoping the Latuda leaves you in peace soon! 

Pronouns: they/them/theirs 

Started on Prozac in early 2000s to treat cPTSD, been on various cocktails ever since.

2002-2004, 2017-2022: Buspar, tapered down to 0

2016-present: 100mg Seroquel for sleep -> May 2023: 90mg -> June 2023: 81mg -> September 2023: 72mg -> switched to brand name, much too strong, down to 60mg -> October 2023: 54mg -> November 2023: 50mg -> January 2024: 45mg

2016-Present: 100mg Wellbutrin SR -> January 2023: 75mg IR (37.5mg 2x a day) -> February 2023 (33.75mg 2x a day) -> July 2023 (30.37mg 2x a day) -> August 2023: 27.33mg 2x a day 

2018-present: 25mg Pristiq

2015-present: 600mg Gabapentin (200mg 3x a day) -> December 2022: 300mg Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) per GP's recommendation after side effects -> March 2023: 90mg 3x a day (switched to liquid suspension) -> April 2023: 81mg 3x a day -> September 2023: bad generic, switched back to homemade liquid; too strong after bad generic, down to 70mg 3x a day, still bad. Adjusted slowly till at 60mg 3x a day, much better. Long hold till -> December 2023: 54mg, still feels too high after November Seroquel switch from brand name to generic, doc recommended 50mg which feels better -> January 2024: When Wellbutrin went down, Gabapentin started putting me to sleep, went down to 45mg, then 41mg to stay awake, so far so good -> February 2024: 36mg

Supplements: Multivitamin w/magnesium, probiotics, digestive enzymes, anti-viral nitric oxide nose spray as needed

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