StayHopeful

[StayHopeful]

 

I found out that I have Covid. 

I haven't been sick for over four years, and this is a little difficult for me mentally. I've taken precautions to keep from getting ill, and worried how it'd affect me if I did get sick with anything because of WD.  I think we'll all get Covid at some point, I just didn't expect it right now. I truly hope that anyone else who gets it, it's mild for them and they get better quickly.

 

It started a couple mornings ago, as a sore feeling at the upper back of my throat where my sinuses drain. I'd had that sensation several times throughout the years, when I sleep with my mouth open or after having horseradish burn my nose. My husband had been sick over the weekend, and tested negative for Covid, but just in case I was getting his cold I went to the store and bought medicines that were not "non-drowsy" and not a combination medication - like Nyquil or Theraflu. I got Tylenol, a cough suppressant w/expectorant (I couldn't find any without it), and nasal spray. I had EmergnC and throat lozenges at home, and I figured that I'd take any meds as needed. The next morning, the soreness then spread to the other nostril side and just a scratchy feeling in my throat. My nose wasn't stuffy, I didn't have a cough, just a raspy voice and vague fatigue. After spending the day with the scratchiness and raspy voice coming and going, my nose ran a very little bit, and I decided to test just in case, and it turned positive within 30 secs of a 20 min test ☹️.

 

I had been sleeping anywhere between 2-5 hrs. a night and I hadn't gotten up to use the bathroom for a couple months. Last night, I didn't sleep at all, and I got up to use the bathroom about 5 times. Today, I've been isolated and resting, very tired, though no sleep and I have not had a fever. My nose has been stuffy off and on, one nostril at a time and I have been using a menthol inhaler sparingly. My throat isn't sore anymore but cough every now and then. I've taken EmergnC a couple times as well as used a few throat lozenges. I've been eating chicken noodle soup and broth. I didn't use the cough suppressant because it uses the same receptors as an antidepressant, and I didn't think that was a good idea during WD. I'm crossing my fingers I start getting better, that it's a mild case and doesn't cause a wave. 

 

Thank you @Heath, for your giving your experience with Covid and the cold meds you took on your thread, so I could be cautious if I did get sick - how fortuitous that turned out to be. 

 

Other than that, this last month for me was so, so. I'm in a window, though I still have anxiety (some social), irritation, demotivation and emotional ups/downs. I haven't felt like doing much of anything but have made it out of the house to go to the store and socialize a little. I've had a lot of stress because of Dr appts.  A couple follow ups and a test or two. Then several dental appts due to dental pain - the consequences of Seroquel side effects and crappy dental work, resulting in surgery. Been a wonderful start to the new year... my fingers are crossed that my health starts getting better.

 

Good things: I have had times of happiness and still enjoy playing games, cooking and eating awesome meals. I'm doing my best to focus on those times and family.

 

SH

 

 

 

[littlebird]

I'm so sorry you have covid!! I hope it's mild and you recover soon. With the people I know who have gotten it, there seems to be a clear delineation of prognosis with people who rest and those who over-extend themselves. The friends who were able to rest recovered with minimal longterm symptoms, those that pushed themselves tend to have more long covid. There has been some study around this but I'm a little too tired to look for it. 

 

As much as you can, let your body rest as you recover! Covid can have a lot of neurological symptoms, it really seems to run the gamut, so please don't worry if you're having elevated mental health stuff happening. Rest and sleep! Take it super easy.

[StayHopeful]

@littlebird

Thank you so much for the support and insight!

 

I'm bracing for more symptoms, from the virus itself and new or amplified neurological ones from WD. To be honest, I'm afraid of them and the thought of long-term problems but I'm watching movies and such to not think about it. I've been in bed all day, and plan to stay there until the symptoms get a lot better. Thankfully, I have nowhere to go or have to be - so I'm able to get as much rest as I need. I definitely won't push myself with this. Several friends and relatives have had it and thank goodness, their cases weren't severe. They felt a lot better after about 4 days from symptom onset and fully recovered after about a week. Not that I'll do the same, I know everyone's different, but I'm trying to stay optimistic through the anxiety. Stupid virus!

 

My family is watching over me and we plan to go to the hospital if I get worse.

 

Thank you again, I really appreciate it.

 

 

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, StayHopeful said:

To be honest, I'm afraid of them and the thought of long-term problems but I'm watching movies and such to not think about it.

 

Best to put it out of your mind as you rest and relax. Might even help to tell yourself, "My immune system is fighting this, my body is strong, I will recover." More and more, it seems like what we tell ourselves matters!

 

2 hours ago, StayHopeful said:

I've been in bed all day, and plan to stay there until the symptoms get a lot better. Thankfully, I have nowhere to go or have to be - so I'm able to get as much rest as I need. I definitely won't push myself with this.

 

This is great news, it really seems to make a big difference. So glad you have that ability to take it easy!! Try not to worry, keep that nervous system as relaxed as can be, and enjoy the time to relax and enjoy having time to watch movies.

[Heath]

Totally agree with little bird. 
Stay positive, rest and distraction.
Remind yourself body is working right now on the virus, it’s doing it’s thing it’s ok. 

My wife and I when we had Covid we watched movies pretty much for a week 😁. It’s only temporary! 
Hang on 💪 prayers your way . 

[StayHopeful]

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement, it's welcomed and very appreciated @littlebirdand @Heath!!

 

I agree completely! What we tell ourselves is very important, sometimes hard to do when we're scared and worried, but very necessary. Your encouragement helps. I do feel I will recover and get through it, thinking positive that it'll be sooner than later. I'm taking care of myself with lots of rest, fluids and good food. Right now, mentally I'm doing better. At first, I was racked with worry, but now after the third night, I'm not as anxious and taking it in stride. I've been watching nature and history documentaries, letting myself doze off and on. I'm grateful for streaming. ☺️

 

Last night I slept better and today I don't feel as exhausted, but I'm not getting out of bed. I don't have a sore throat anymore, it only feels irritated for a short time after I cough, which isn't often.  I have used the nasal spray twice so far, and only sparingly. I've been drinking the EmergnC twice a day, lots of water and sip on broth between meals. I don't want to upset my nervous system further, so if I can handle a symptom with minimal medication, I'll do it.

 

Medications and I have never gotten along, way before I ever took a psych med, and have continued throughout my life. I've been looking into more natural/homeopathic ways of dealing with issues, but not ready to be a guru. I'm careful to check mechanism of action, reactions and side effect lists before using anything - I don't jump in. I feel that tried-and-true methods that grandma would use, still work on a lot of things (but not everything). So far, I think I'm hanging in here pretty well - being positive 🙏. 

 

Thank you again.

[StayHopeful]

 

Well, I kind of feel "out of it", at the moment. I feel like I have a hangover or that there is a haze in my room.

 

This is the beginning of day 5 after my sore throat appeared and I'm hanging in here. However long it takes for my body to fight this, is how long it takes, and I'll be happy to be well again. Nasal congestion and coughing ramped up during the night, though it's not as bad this morning. I'm tired, not fully exhausted, but just feeling different than I did yesterday. I think it's because of the "out of it" feeling I have and not the physical symptoms. I can't say that I'm completely miserable, I haven't had a fever, my nose isn't always stopped up and I'm not full of chest congestion, coughing my lungs out (thank goodness!). I haven't lost my sense of smell, and my taste is only affected when my nose is stopped up.

 

In comparison, this is not how I felt when I've had the flu. When I've had the flu in the past, it hit me hard and was absolutely miserable. I'd have a fever of at least 101 degrees, constant sore throat, body aches, my nose would be stuffed up for days, and my chest would be so congested just breathing would cause a coughing fit. I would use Nyquil, the only medication that'd give me relief, and the time frame between doses, was always too long. I'd take it and 2 hrs. later I'd be right back to where I started. I'd remain that way, on the couch, for about a week and still have some mild symptoms for about a week after that. So, as of yet, what I've been going through, hasn't been as bad. 

 

Staying hopeful and positive. ☺️🙏

[StayHopeful]

 

Feel much better today - physically....    So far, other than being tired, I've had no physical symptoms since before I went to sleep last night. My nose stopped being stuffy yesterday morning, and I haven't coughed since last evening. I'm going to test later today, since it's the 6th day since my first symptom. Even if I my test is negative, I'll continue to rest until a little more energy comes back.

 

I had a small wave of neuro-emotions this morning after I woke. Not anxiety per se, but horrible thoughts and ruminating, which caused a crying spell.  I got a hug of support, wrote it out in my journal, took a shower and continue to distract myself. Though I'm feeling better now, I'll find more stuff to do while resting (playing games, watching documentaries, etc..) to not let those thoughts creep back in. 

 

Definitely glad to be feeling better. ☺️

 

 

 

[StayHopeful]

 

Today is Day 7 after first symptom. I'm feeling ok, but I've been coughing up phlegm, off and on, since last night. It's not severe and I'm not in any way short of breath. Though I've looked up current guidelines and recommendations concerning post-isolation precautions and retesting (supposedly it's not necessary), I'll check with my Dr office for their suggestions, just to be sure. I don't want to waste a test if I don't need to or compromise anyone else's health.

I've been doing well since my crying spell yesterday. I still consider myself in a window, even with the small wave and the Covid. I try very hard not to concentrate on the rest. I'm taking each day as it comes and hanging in here as best I can. Still thinking positive and distracting when necessary. 

 

I've been still having the same physical symptoms that I've been having for several months, but they've been occurring less and less often (pressure behind my eyes, poked by needles feeling, itching, burning sensations, etc.). However...

Recently, I've had a new type of "headache", like spot headaches, that started a couple weeks before I got sick. They come and go, in small areas, like right above my ear, for maybe 20 minutes, then it'll go away. It'll happen on the top, back and side of my head - in different places, the base of my neck, and above either eye. Sometimes, it's like a band of pressure that's about two inches wide all around my head, or a band from temple to temple around the back. I didn't think about it that much, but I figured I'd put it here now, because it happened again today, behind my ear.

 

🙂

 

[Heath]

@StayHopeful Glad you are seeing some relief!

My wife still has very little coughing 5 weeks after Covid, very minimal. It has gradually got less and less. Almost gone. 
 

Do you have pollen allergies ?

If so this is a possibility. The pollen is high here in Al. I have pressure and sensitivity feelings too from that past few days.  Just an idea. 

[StayHopeful]

@Heath Thank you!

I don't have allergies to pollens or dust, so unfortunately, that's not the culprit. With that, I've been lucky. 

 

From what I've researched, it's said that phlegm happens in the later stages of the illness and illnesses, to help clear irritants and infections from the lungs. Just keep hydrated to thin it out, to help the body expectorate it better. Also, that it can last a while but isn't a cause for concern as long as you can cough it out and don't have shortness of breath. That's a good thing, because I know someone who got Covid pneumonia, and the first thing I thought was "No! not pneumonia!"  - got to love WD anxiety - NOT! 🤣  It's getting better by the day though, just have to hang in here.

I checked with my Dr's office, they said that I don't need to retest if I'm getting better, to just make sure I still wear a mask around others for the next 4 days - since I'm on day 7.  It's probably different depending on other Dr's offices.  It's a little strange to see how relaxed the requirements are now concerning Covid, but great that some of us can get through it at home.

 

I'm glad your wife continues to get better and only has minimal coughing, even this far out. That's one complaint I've heard the most, the continued cough, it just hangs on and nags at you, I'll guess I'll see how long mine lasts. I'm also glad that your symptoms have gotten better, are the lifestyle changes your trying to make, helping? I hope so, though it's hard to change things, it'll be worth it, if it makes things go easier. Take care!

 

☺️

[StayHopeful]

 

I'm continuing to get better, though of course, the cough is still here. It doesn't happen that often, maybe 2-3 times a day, which to me is pretty good. I'm still drinking lots of water and I'm still a little tired but can't tell if that's from being sick or my general lack of motivation. I'll give this a couple more days, to hopefully allow me start feeling like moving around more and to generally not be as tired, then I can hopefully do more with my family. So far, no one else has gotten sick, so I'm very happy about that. 

 

Sleep has actually gotten better through this, I'm surprised, but grateful.

 

😊

[Heath]

@StayHopefulHow are you? 

[StayHopeful]

@Heath

 

Thank you for asking 😊.

 

So far, I'm doing ok. I still consider myself in a window, though I've had some stressful moments, I think I'm getting better at getting through them. I also feel like I'm pretty much over the Covid, still a small cough, but it's getting better.

 

The main things right now are my teeth and anxiety.

 

The tooth clenching and grinding, while on medication and during WD, have really taken their toll. I've had continual pain in my jaw and teeth since starting tapering. I got a mouthguard from the store, to help stop the damage from the grinding and clenching and it didn't fit right. So, some nights I didn't wear it, which only made things worse for the last several months. The problem - is that I can't tell what really is a "problem" and what isn't. I got tests and x-rays, yet everything looked/seemed normal, but the tooth pain, jaw popping and inability to chew, didn't feel like it. I had several procedures done over the last several months, but due to unspecified pain, I probably had a couple that weren't necessary.😒 

 

I've decided to find another type of mouthguard, let my teeth calm down and see if the worst is over. I have options available to mitigate the procedures I had done, though expensive, at least I have options. I definitely didn't have these problems before WD. I really wish someone in the health insurance field could explain to me why health insurance doesn't cover your entire body. It's ridiculous how your eyes and mouth have to be covered separate and that it has to be so expensive!🙄

 

My unwanted friend, Anxiety is still around and I'm doing my best to deal with it. I get anxious about future plans and the future in general, I tend worry and I really don't like that.  I haven't had the morning cortisol surges and spikes, for a little while now, so that's good. 

 

I'm hanging in here.

 

 

 

 

[Heath]

@StayHopefulIm reading some good things! Sounds like you are doing pretty good👍. 
 

Sorry you are having The popping jaw, clenching teeth thingy. I know it’s a pain. You are doing what you can. I would definitely keep trying to find the rt size . I had that about 22 years ago when I first started Paxil and had the high flying energy feeling. My jaw kept popping until one day I yawned and it popped out of place my bite was off. stayed that way for a week or so seem like months I don’t remember because the new Paxil kept me busy🤪. It’s like my muscles tensed but it didn’t bother me. 
 

I hear you on insurance It sure doesn’t make sense.  The insurance companies really go crazy if you have an injury to the mouth, then they start going stupid .  
 

The negative worry ruminating from what I have read is part of wd symptoms. It gets hard to believe in the thick of it. 

keep hanging on 💪
 

[StayHopeful]

Thanks @Heath

 

I definitely feel for your jaw popping out. I had my jaw pop out of alignment several times now, and it's painful! I pop it back in, then it stays sore for a bit. My bite's been off for a while now, but I didn't notice it as much as I have since going through all this. It's an issue that would be hard for anyone to deal with and something that I'd be sad and upset about, regardless of withdrawal. I can only imagine how much it's going to cost to get it all fixed, and right now it's not an option, so I'm just dealing with it day to day. 

 

There are some good things, and I'm trying to concentrate on those. I'm not in a wave and I've been feeling ok, some ups and downs, but I'm handling them the best I can. The negative rumination is hard right now and I agree it's part of withdrawal, I do try to distract myself away from those thoughts.  Knowing what it's from really helps, sometimes I feel a little depressed, but I know it's just me trying to heal and it doesn't last long. This too shall pass - sooner than later preferred. 

 

Other than my mouth, physically I'm doing well for now. I've had a couple wonky symptoms, but whether they are withdrawal related or just age related, is hard to say. My sleep has been alright, I still wake up at odd hours, but it depends, sometimes an hour after laying down, sometimes 3 or 4, and most of the time, I can get back to sleep.

Diet wise, I'm doing well and had a few changes. I'm able to tolerate a little sugar (I never ate too much of it anyway) and a very, very little caffeine (just found out my favorite flavored drink had a little in it, but it didn't bother me). 

Aside from taking care of my family and socializing with acquaintances, I still play my video games and mental boosting ones too. I can't wait for warmer weather so I can enjoy more outside activities. That's about it 😊

 

As always, thank you so much for your ongoing support, I really appreciate it. I hope your feet start feeling better soon, so that you can get back out and enjoy your walking again. Nothing helps more than support and being able to do the things we like the most. ☺️

 

 

[Heath]

Just in case you haven’t read through this it’s about teeth clenching and mouth guards 

 

 

[StayHopeful]

@Heath

 

Thank you very much for sending this to me! I was trying to research if anyone else on here had the same issues. I'd come across a thread or two, but didn't see this one, I really need to boost my searching skills. 

 

I bought a mouthguard during the beginning of my tapering when I noticed how bad my cheeks, jaws and teeth hurt. I ended up taking it out for a while because I'd wake up with my molars and a couple teeth in front of them, sore - but only on one side. I thought I was imagining the tension, and it was the mouthguard causing the problem. Then, I realized that after expanding it laterally to fit the width of my arch and molding it to my teeth, it'd pull on the teeth sideways as it'd constantly try to regain its original shape, before modification, while I slept. So, I got a new one and I'm going to attempt to modify its original shape - without expanding it laterally. I hope it works. It's soft, which I prefer because the hard ones hurt my jaws worse.

 

I take diligent care of my teeth and I couldn't understand why they were going bad all the sudden. It's been very painful for the last 5 months, all I've been able to do, is see my dentist, the dental specialists and try to stay positive while I'm terrified that I'm going to spend thousands and still lose all my teeth.😔 

 

Thank you again, I'm going to read through all the comments and find some hope.

 

 

[Heath]

SH

I’m sorry you are having to deal with that. I know you will get it straightened out. 
 

The best way I know to search here is to type in google what you are looking for then surviving antidepressants and search. example

“ neck pain surviving antidepressants “

[StayHopeful]

@Heath

 

Thank you for the tip, I haven't tried that!! 😊

[StayHopeful]

 

Been a little busy lately, have some stuff and projects that I can do to get ready for the weather change, now that it isn't as chilly outside. 

 

I really haven't wanted to look at my computer or tv lately. I end up getting sucked into news stuff and I really needed a break from all the drama. I like to stay informed, but sometimes it's just too much for my fragile CNS to handle. I often wonder how others cope (who aren't going through WD) with everything we are bombarded with on a daily basis. I think I liked it better when we didn't see or hear about things until either early in the morning or evening. Now no matter where I look, it's everywhere and I'm pretty tired of it. Been searching for and reading more positive stories and information.

 

Since my last post, it's the same old stuff I've been dealing with. Just small, short waves that I know will pass.

Something happens or is said, I take it the wrong way, and get emotional.

Situational anxiety, morning ruminations, occasional intrusive thoughts and low motivation 

Having a really bad acne break out, washing and spot creams haven't cleared it, yet.

I'm not in a bad mood and not anhedonic

I think I'm getting used to my dental and jaw pain, it's there all the time at a low level, unless it sporadically flares up - so I just cope. 

I'm still living my life, going places and doing things in spite of everything, hanging in here and coping as best I can. I'll just be so glad and over the moon, when I can type my success story. 

 

😊

[StayHopeful]

 

I've had some cruddy emotions lately, but I'm doing better. Doing projects around the house and taking walks help. 

 

Last night I got about three or so hours sleep (which is good), but then woke to intense itching that lasted for several hours. Cropping up on my back, then my thigh, the back of my knee, my scalp, then my wrists - constantly moving. The lotion I applied didn't help and I couldn't reach some of the places I was itching to apply it. So, I ended up just lying there, trying not to concentrate on it, and it passed. I couldn't go back to sleep at that point, started ruminating, so I put on some calming music and tried to calm my thoughts. Though bothersome, I know that the random symptoms are just the healing process. 

 

I've been feeling ok and generally in a good mood, and my windows are getting longer it seems. I still tend to have emotional symptoms off and on, then when I'm able to think it through it goes away. Sometimes, I wonder if it's withdrawal or just me not being able to handle life in general. Then I remember that I handled life just fine before psych meds... If it weren't for the anxiety and irritation that withdrawal has now given me, I'd be fine. I've also realized that I'm much more reserved since I began withdrawal. People I know wonder why I'm not being bubbly and conversing with everyone, like I used to - as if I'm in a bad mood (which I'm really not). They wouldn't understand and I don't want to explain, so I tell them I'm preoccupied. 

 

I'm continuing to take things day by day, trying not worry about it and keep telling myself - that the future will be what it'll be and worrying about it won't change it. I've also moved away from reading too much about other's withdrawal experiences and listening to the pod casts that talk about horrible symptoms. I tend to become very afraid, begin to spiral and forget that everyone's experience is different. Sometimes, I look up symptoms for tips and reassurance that I'm not the only one and I'll read/watch success stories from all over the internet to balance myself out. Even though I've been busy, I'm contributing and giving support when I can, I know it's needed.

 

Now, I have to go get some more stuff done for the day. 😊

 

 

 

 

[Heath]

SH this sounds really good !

 

yes it so hard to be able to determine if it’s us or withdrawals. I like that “I was able to handle life before “.  
 

A member discussed Stinking Thinking one time . It’s very interesting. We get caught up in it sometimes. Google it if interested. Helps us to change to positive thinking. 
 

I get the folks wondering why not as social anymore, but that will change. 
 

and the reading to much, sometimes we have to close the book for a while and live. I get stuck in thoughts and trying to solve problems. If I can’t solve it then ruminating begins toward the negative. 
 

Keep moving and doing even though you may not enjoy it rt now. Those very distractions are moving you forward out of this. 
 

Thank you for your encouragement and support here on SA !

[StayHopeful]

 

Mentally and physically, I've been having some symptoms, and some are doing better.  Right now, I'm on a course of antibiotics for an infection, but I was having all the symptoms before beginning it. Regardless, I consider myself to be doing well because I feel ok, and I've been in a good mood. 

 

In the morning as I wake up, if I even think about something that I need to do, a wave of anxiety hits for about 5-10 seconds and goes away. 

My teeth and jaw are still bothering me but have been a little better lately - at this point I'll take whatever relief, even just a little and be grateful.

 

I still have the intense itching: It's really annoying!

At bedtime - my feet, ankles, back of knees, my thighs, and back - constantly for about an hour.

During the day - my scalp, inside elbows, wrists, palms and fingers - off and on for about 15 mins or so.

I was told once that "An itchy palm means you're about to come into some money" I wish!! 😄

 

Muscle spasms and jerks several times a day:

Spasms under my eyes and small places on my upper or lower lip (like a tiny little 2mm area will start spasming off and on).

My entire arm or leg will jerk, and my shoulder or hip will pop. It's not painful, just startling. It happens out of blue without doing anything to cause it.

The tendons on the bottom of my feet will tighten when I sit or lie down, I have to stretch and rub them out to avoid a cramp.
 

Good thing:

My jovial side is coming back!

I laughed so much the other day - it's been a long time since I've had a really good laugh and it felt good. My husband and I were trying to work on a project, and no matter how we tried to get the right result, it went wrong. We just started laughing at every attempt and failure and I couldn't stop giggling. It became so comical that we almost gave up. Finally, everything came together, and it worked out. Later, I realized how much I've missed that during withdrawal, the spontaneous laughter and constant giggling, even when you're failing. I've been so worried and irritated about things not going as planned, that I couldn't relax and forgot that sometimes failure, can be funny. I really needed that release. ☺️ 

 

 

[Heath]

Good news SH you have a jovial window!!!

 

 You are a great encouragement at how you handle all these  symptoms!! 
💪

 

Spend your new money wisely 👌. 

 

[Escitalopram21]

@StayHopeful

 

I am so happy that you got to experience laughter again, it sure has been missed during withdrawal. I am hoping that you will get to experience more moments of you in the near future 🙏🏻

[StayHopeful]

Thank you so much @Heath and @Escitalopram21!! 

Your encouragement and kind words are appreciated more than you know!! Thank you a million times!!😊

 

Oh! I almost forgot, my feet were itching really bad last night, very intense. In my desperation, I went looking for a small jar of 5% lidocaine topical ointment that I had - I tried just about everything else. I didn't know if it would work, but I rubbed that all over my feet. The itching subsided within about 5 mins!!

 

I couldn't remember, if there's a tip on here about it already and I didn't have time to look for it (there probably is, because everyone on here is so smart when it comes to tips that help). So, now I'm going to use it for the itching and if my burning skin sensation comes back. 

 

Update: Yes!! I found a post, Nikki posted about it in 2012 - I knew it'd be in here somewhere!!👏

[StayHopeful]

My home has become the metaphor for my health.

 

Feels good to finally get some projects done. It's been a while since we've updated some areas of our house and after starting in Jan., things are coming together more and more. It's really helped my symptoms by staying busy and accomplishing the things I've been wanting to. While I was on psych meds, I became so lackadaisical and let a lot of things slide by. It's funny how you can look back and go "Wow, how long has it been since we updated that?", and it becomes important again to start changing and fixing things. 

I'm "seeing" more of my real personality again - I'm a DISC Type C 😄. 

 

Mentally: Over the last week or so, I've been handling stress better and noticeably leveling out more emotionally.

I've been able to work out problems and let them go.

When I'm sad, I just cry, not sobbing or needing to involve anyone else, just let it out and get back to what I'm doing. When I'm upset or irritated, instead of spiraling out of control and blowing things out of proportion, I'm rationalizing, calming myself and accepting. If I get upset/irritated, it's because the situation warrants it, and not just my perceptions being off.

I still question myself and some decisions, but there's nothing wrong with being a little cautious.

I'm able to converse casually and confidently, I'm not as socially anxious anymore, but still a little reserved (which I don't think that's a bad thing).  

 

Physically: I'm doing alright and hanging in here.

Every now and then I have soreness and tingling in my TMJ and slight tooth sensitivity, but not nearly as bad as it was. Thank Goodness!!!

Still having the traveling itchy patches throughout the day - they turn red now, but they aren't as often, don't last as long, and not as intense. Whew!

The arm and leg jerking hasn't happened but a few times since I posted about it last.

I do get this weird/strange feeling sometimes, like my bones are pulsating. It doesn't last long, maybe about 15- 20 secs. and nothing particularly causes it.

The morning adrenaline surges have calmed down.

 

Overall, I think I'm doing better right now. I could just be a really good window, but I'll take it and try to keep it open as long as I can.

 

My hope and wish is that everyone here is feeling well, getting better each day and is making it through!! 🙏

[StayHopeful]

 

Been away from my computer for a while. Now, I'm needing to play catch up.

 

I've been doing alright these last couple weeks, feeling like I'm still in a window. I've been getting a lot done, traveling a little bit and generally just hanging in here.

I know I've been doing and going too much lately because right now I'm feeling lethargic and fatigued.  So, I need to take it easy and recharge.  I haven't noticed my WD too much; for a bit now, it's been more like background noise. I know it's there and can tell, but I don't want to pay attention to it anymore. I feel lucky that it isn't as bad right now and just want to stay in that mentality. 

 

Some things I've noticed, I think are just a part of getting older, because other people my age, are having the same issues and they haven't been on meds or going through WD.  Strange, when you wake up one day and notice the thinning hair, crepey - sagging skin, and wrinkles everywhere, that didn't seem to be there before.  I would love to attribute it all to WD, I mean my hair did start falling out a lot during tapering, but that could be a coincidence. Who truly knows? Can't stay young forever 😊

 

Mentally:

I haven't been ruminating much at all.

Emotions seem pretty normal, not exaggerated or out of line with circumstances. 

After being in a very noisy environment, felt palpitations and dizzy, but no anxiety or fear.

No apathy or anhedonia. 

 

Physically:

Eyes seem irritated a lot now, with itching, watering and feeling like there's something in them, that isn't.

Itching has subsided, I haven't had any intense itching patches or needed additional lotion of any kind, for over a week now.

Morning adrenaline surges are maybe every other day and only last for a few seconds. 

Teeth and jaw haven't gotten better or worse and I'm still glad to not be in constant pain.

No jerking of arms or legs lately.

 

So far, so good for now, still hoping it'll continue 🙏

[StayHopeful]

 

Had a recent follow up with my GP...

 

I filled her in on all my recent Dr appts and how I've been feeling since I last saw her, several months ago.  I'm now 1 year and 3 months off Lexapro and 10 Months off Seroquel. She was very happy and impressed with my progress and what I've accomplished and gave me lots of encouragement. We discussed the physical and mental symptoms that I still have, how I deal with them, my fears of worsening symptoms and my diet. I also mentioned all I've learned here on SA and that I'm optimistic because of all the members who are recovering and have healed, because I know it's possible. She said, from what she's seen since tracking my progress for almost a year now, that I made the right decision to get off those meds.  I still have my fears but It's nice to have that extra support and reassurance from her.

 

Mental:

Overall, I've been in pretty good spirits, just kind of going with the flow., and my energy has been increasing.

I still have anxiety, but it doesn't "float" around - I don't wake up with it and it doesn't last long when it happens. 

Sleep varies, sometimes I get 3-4 hours, others I get 5-6 hours, but is mostly uninterrupted.

 

Physical:

Jaws and teeth are bothering me again. Not as much pain, but bothersome. They're the same symptoms I've already had checked to no avail but since, I have a checkup coming up, I'll address it then.

Paresthesia paid me a visit the other day, burning on my neck and feeling like I'm being stuck with needles, but lasted only a day and 1/2. 

Sporadically during the day, my fingers get really cold, lose tactile sensation and go numb. It doesn't matter what the temperature is and they don't change color. 

Sometimes, when I lay on my back at night, I have a very slight feeling like I need to move my arms or legs. Changing positions makes it go away.

My eyes are still irritated and itchy, I've been using eye drops and it helps.

 

I hope everyone has a good day and is doing well!🙏

 

*Note: I updated my signature to being at 0mg of Seroquel on 7/13/22. When I looked back over my old notes and calendar, I was actually at 3mg for almost a month. I got confused as to the date, due to family being in and out of town around that time. I'm glad my taper was longer than I thought, even if it was only a week.😊

[Heath]

@StayHopeful I’m glad you have a supportive GP. That makes all the difference.
I got good news Monday that  my GP is got my back. She basically said the same thing “you have done so good and came so far “. She said other things too. 
 

I just found out about this support system coming to USA in 2023. Feralcatman told me about it. It is knowledge and support for drs to learn and assist their patients in recovery. It will be like a portal of support and info for your dr. 
 

https://www.outro.com/about

 

give the link to your dr and they can get on a waitlist for getting information and support when it gets here. I’m going to give it to my dr. 
 

You sound up beat 👌. And glad you aren’t waking with anxiety! That’s great news!

hang on 💪

Edited May 20, 2023 by Heath

[StayHopeful]

@Heath

 

Thank you so much!!! 😊

That is awesome that your GP supports and can help you too. I agree, it really does make all the difference. I feel so much compassion for members on here that don't have that support, that feel so abandoned and hopeless in their struggle to heal. I feel blessed, but so sad. I wish I could loan my Dr out for all of them. 😔

 

How are you doing now? Has the anxiety calmed down any? Are you still in pain from your procedure or has that lessened while you're healing? I know, so many questions...

 

You know... I don't know what to say sometimes and I'm not sure if the way I express support is enough, but I want you to know, that I think of you and your family often and always wish the best for you and especially that you heal from all this, quickly. I really hope that I've been able to convey how much your guidance, tips and support have meant to me - from the bottom of my heart - Thank you!!

 

We're getting there, one day at a time, but we're getting there. 🙏

[StayHopeful]

 

Well, my long run of a window closed slightly. I don't want to say that it slammed shut, because it didn't, but I've been feeling moodier the last couple days and sleep isn't that good. 

 

I've been trying to stay optimistic about everything - all the projects I've been keeping up with, slowly changing my diet to eat healthier, and staying distracted from symptoms. Right now, though, due to life taking over, it's not so easy. A stressful situation came up and it's making it difficult for me to stay upbeat. I've been forcing myself to smile, which helps from time to time, going for walks, window shopping and doing things with my family.

 

Mental:                                                                                                                                Physical:

Ruminations of things I wish I'd done in the past but can't change.                              Itching eyes, difficult to focus sometimes.       

Sadness/crying                                                                                                                  Jaw tension/pain, tooth sensitivity                                                                         

Agitation/anger                                                                                                                  Hair falling out, thinning.

Tired, fatigue                                                                                                                      Fingers still get cold and lose tactile sensation.

Low motivation                                                                                                                   Sleeping 1-1 1/2 hrs. a night, interrupted.

Loss of concentration

Forgetfulness, brain fog, confusion

 

Good things:

The projects around the house are starting to pay off. I'm grateful that we've had the time to update rooms, make changes, fix some things and refresh paint. Landscaping is also looking really good again (not enough rain over the last year or so has taken a toll). I have a list of more stuff that I want to do and staying focused on those things have really helped me.

 

I make myself work through the fatigue and low motivation, which eventually causes those feeling to go away. I have been taking the time to rest and try to relax during the evening, so I'm not taxing my system too much. Hopefully, by continuing to do what I have been during my window, will help pull me out of this partial wave I'm in, so it doesn't get worse. If it does get worse, I'll adapt to get through it.

 

I just have to keep walking this road and hanging in here. 🙏

 

[littlebird]

On 5/29/2023 at 8:45 AM, StayHopeful said:

I have been taking the time to rest and try to relax during the evening, so I'm not taxing my system too much. Hopefully, by continuing to do what I have been during my window, will help pull me out of this partial wave I'm in, so it doesn't get worse. If it does get worse, I'll adapt to get through it.

 

Glad you're taking care of yourself and recovering! Hopefully it's just a cloud passing by and you'll get a sunny window back soon.

[StayHopeful]

 

Thank you @littlebird Yes, I think it was a cloud because it seems to be passing. Thank goodness!! 

I've been getting out of the house too, socially, for walks and yesterday I went shopping by myself - wandering around stores, looking at everything whether I needed it or not. I like window shopping and just seeing if there's anything new. 98% of the time, I don't buy anything, it's just a way to get out and about and away from the ongoing home projects. Looking forward to a few upcoming lunch plans with friends and family has helped too. 😊

[StayHopeful]

I've had a hard time lately... This is a post long time in the making...

 

I've been having ups and downs lately. They've been really, really bad. I don't want to always admit how hard withdrawal has been for me. I try to post the positive, but maybe I shouldn't have. It's not been a true representation of what it's been like for me. Sometimes, I'm really good, but sometimes I'm really....... not.   

I'm a very, very private person. I don't like to talk about my struggles - good or bad. I write in generalizations, as to not let anyone who reads any of my posts, connect it back to me. Not my relatives, extended family, friends, previous friends, or coworkers. I want none of it to come back to me. Then I can truly be completely Me - Someone who I have never been able to be. 😉

 

Why? Because I've been put through enough!!!Narcissistic crap, Gaslighting, Bullying, Manipulating B*llsh*t - everything. I don't need to stand up for myself or prove anything anymore to anyone - I'm beyond that. I have to deal though, good or bad. Deal with it... no matter what.

All this time, I've had anhedonia, irritation, horrible lows but all the same, good times. They are not defined by widows and waves for me, just constant ups and downs. They are just how it is. I can't explain it. I want to say that I'm good, but I can't.

 

Emotions shift all the time, but now somehow in the psychiatric field, they've been vilified to an extreme. I felt like this before meds, but not to this extreme, it was just life. I didn't think anything about it. I would be irritated because my hubby didn't want to clean something, I'd get miffed, but then clean it - so what? 
 

I live my life for what is, right now, take things in stride and just handle things - normal. I don't have a lot of symptoms as others here, have. However, I'm scared to death, absolutely terrified - because should I? When is this S**T going to hit? According to Dr. Shipko, I've got 1 month left before the sh*t hits the fan... is it going to happen for me? I don't know...

 

Anyway, these are my thoughts...