success ☼ bambam: is this withdrawal?

[Shep]

22 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

Everything I’ve read on the site says waves get shorter and easier. Mine have gradually been getting longer and stronger. I think the magnesium caused a setback maybe that’s why? I’m unsure 

 

Waves are unpredictable. Many people experience what they have called bad or strong waves before they healed, sometimes saying the worse the wave, the better the window. So I don't think there's any one pattern. And, of course, setbacks to supplements, other illnesses and other meds, can always make waves worse. Please see:

 

Are We There Yet? How Long Is Withdrawal Going To Take?

[bambam]

On 4/23/2023 at 5:41 AM, Shep said:

 

Waves are unpredictable. Many people experience what they have called bad or strong waves before they healed, sometimes saying the worse the wave, the better the window. So I don't think there's any one pattern. And, of course, setbacks to supplements, other illnesses and other meds, can always make waves worse. Please see:

 

Are We There Yet? How Long Is Withdrawal Going To Take?

Is it possible for me to heal? With feeling anxious and so so detached from reality everyday?

[bambam]

@Altostrata @Shep 

What do you make of this?

[Altostrata]

What do you mean by dissociation and derealization? How's your sleep?

 

Have you had difficulties with health anxiety prior to taking psychiatric drugs?

 

Quote

 

Lamictal July 6-September 2 started at 25mg and increased 25 mg every two weeks
Buspirone august 29- September 14 7.5mg at night 
0.5mg Ativan as needed

October 22- 2022

November 5, 8, 10, 12-2022

January 12. Feb 4,6,25,27-2023
 March 1, 21, 24, 26,27, 28, 29 -2023

September 2 2022 last dose of lamictal 

September 14 2022 last dose of buspirone 

 

 

When did you take lamotrigine? Please put your signature in chronological order with the MONTH and YEAR of each event.

 

We have hundreds of people here who had difficulty going off lamotrigine.

 

If you prefer to see Dr. Shipko, please engage his services.

[bambam]

7 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

What do you mean by dissociation and derealization? How's your sleep?

 

Have you had difficulties with health anxiety prior to taking psychiatric drugs?

 

 

When did you take lamotrigine? Please put your signature in chronological order with the MONTH and YEAR of each event.

 

We have hundreds of people here who had difficulty going off lamotrigine.

 

If you prefer to see Dr. Shipko, please engage his services.

I do not prefer him I just saw his name mentioned on the site. 
derealization as in nothing feels or looks real. I feel so detached from my life and surroundings. Dissociation is this weird feeling I get in my brain where I don’t feel present at all. When I close my eyes to sleep the sensation gets worse and it makes me panic. My sleep is ok sometimes I am awoken and start to panic from the weird sensation I have in my brain. It’s very hard to describe but it started when I got to 75mg of lamictal like all the other symptoms. I took lamictal july 6 2022 25mg for 2 weeks 50mg for 2 weeks 75 mg for a week and a half. Went down to 50mg for a few days then back to 75 for two days then 50 for four days and 25 for four days then 0.

[bambam]

@Altostrata

It won’t let me save the signature it says it’s too many lines 

Lamictal July 6-20 2022- 25 mg

July 20-August 3 2022-50mg

August 3-13 2022 -75mg

August 13-23 2022 -50mg

August 23-26 2022 -75mg

August 26-29 2022 -50mg

August 29-September 2 2022- 25mg

September 2 2022 last dose of lamictal 
Buspirone august 29 2022- September 14 2022- 7.5mg at night

 September 14 2022 last dose of buspirone
0.5mg Ativan as needed

October 22- 2022

November 5, 8, 10, 12-2022

January 12. Feb 4,6,25,27-2023
 March 1, 21, 24, 26,27, 28, 29 -2023

[Altostrata]

You've only been off your drugs for for 6 months. It can take a lot longer than that for sensations that arise during withdrawal, such as depersonalization and derealization, to go away.

 

If your sleep is okay, that's a good sign. Please try not to worry, surf the waves, and gradually get back into normal activities. Are you getting at least 1/2 hour of gentle exercise each day?

 

 

[Shep]

13 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

0.5mg Ativan as needed

October 22- 2022

November 5, 8, 10, 12-2022

January 12. Feb 4,6,25,27-2023
 March 1, 21, 24, 26,27, 28, 29 -2023

 

The Ativan is likely more responsible for the depersonalization / disassociation. You took it enough to have developed a dependency. I posted about that earlier in your thread here. 

 

Even if you had these symptoms prior to Ativan due to the Lamictal and buspirone, the combination, combined with a too rapid taper, could have caused kindling and hypersensitivities. 

 

13 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

It won’t let me save the signature it says it’s too many lines 

 

I've updated your signature with the additional Ativan information and color coded it for readability. Feel free to tweak it if you wish - it's a bit limiting, as it only allows for 12 lines. 

 

You may want to get an account with Benzo Buddies. Their tapering advice is a hit or a miss and many of their members are adding in other psych drugs to get off their benzo, but since you're off the drugs, all you really want and need is the social support. Depersonalization, derealization, and disassociation are extremely common with benzos, even for short time users. Many people develop dependency with short term, periodic use. That's why these drugs are so dangerous. You may benefit from the social support you can get over on Benzo Buddies. Regardless of which drug caused it, the way through it is the same - mindfulness, gentle walks, and distraction. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, and rest as you're able. 

[bambam]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

You've only been off your drugs for for 6 months. It can take a lot longer than that for sensations that arise during withdrawal, such as depersonalization and derealization, to go away.

 

If your sleep is okay, that's a good sign. Please try not to worry, surf the waves, and gradually get back into normal activities. Are you getting at least 1/2 hour of gentle exercise each day?

 

 

Sleep is usually ok but now the odd sensation in my brain is happening all night. I got maybe two hours of sleep last night I was hot and heart racing all night. Yes, I get out and walk regardless of the weather. The dissociated brain feeling seems to be getting worse which causes worry. I am currently in a 5 week wave. My waves lasted this long in the beginning but broke into windows and waves and haven’t lasted this long for months. I have been anxious everyday but before I was having week long windows. The only change I made at the start of the wave was magnesium glycinate.  @Altostrata my main question to you guys is if these symptoms are normal for lamictal adverse reactions or withdrawal.

[bambam]

1 hour ago, Shep said:

 

The Ativan is likely more responsible for the depersonalization / disassociation. You took it enough to have developed a dependency. I posted about that earlier in your thread here. 

 

Even if you had these symptoms prior to Ativan due to the Lamictal and buspirone, the combination, combined with a too rapid taper, could have caused kindling and hypersensitivities. 

 

 

I've updated your signature with the additional Ativan information and color coded it for readability. Feel free to tweak it if you wish - it's a bit limiting, as it only allows for 12 lines. 

 

You may want to get an account with Benzo Buddies. Their tapering advice is a hit or a miss and many of their members are adding in other psych drugs to get off their benzo, but since you're off the drugs, all you really want and need is the social support. Depersonalization, derealization, and disassociation are extremely common with benzos, even for short time users. Many people develop dependency with short term, periodic use. That's why these drugs are so dangerous. You may benefit from the social support you can get over on Benzo Buddies. Regardless of which drug caused it, the way through it is the same - mindfulness, gentle walks, and distraction. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, and rest as you're able. 

Yes these symptoms started before I ever took an ativan but the usage of it might be contributing. Thank you. 

[Altostrata]

43 minutes ago, Atnyxoxo said:

@Altostrata my main question to you guys is if these symptoms are normal for lamictal adverse reactions or withdrawal.

 

I explained this earlier. Please re-read your topic from the beginning.

 

44 minutes ago, Atnyxoxo said:

The dissociated brain feeling seems to be getting worse which causes worry.

 

Do you think your worrying might be amplifying or enhancing the "dissociated brain feeling"? Were you always an intense worrier?

 

In the context of what we see here, you have a mild case of protracted withdrawal, and it does not appear to be getting worse. Most likely, it will continue to improve in a frustrating pattern of waves and windows -- as long as you don't add unnecessary worrying and fear to your problems.

 

You have control over the worrying and fear. Please consider these techniques to manage them:

 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

[bambam]

14 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

I explained this earlier. Please re-read your topic from the beginning.

 

 

Do you think your worrying might be amplifying or enhancing the "dissociated brain feeling"? Were you always an intense worrier?

 

In the context of what we see here, you have a mild case of protracted withdrawal, and it does not appear to be getting worse. Most likely, it will continue to improve in a frustrating pattern of waves and windows -- as long as you don't add unnecessary worrying and fear to your problems.

 

You have control over the worrying and fear. Please consider these techniques to manage them:

 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals 

 

Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Thank you for your reassurance. I probably have always been a worrier. I’ve worried more when I started feeling weird on the lamictal and thought it would resolve with discontinuing the medication but that has not been the case. Each month it continues fuels the fire that I’ll go crazy or never recover. It seemed like I was making good progress but got hit with a setback when taking the magnesium hit that might be a coincidence. Thank you both for replying to me and being kind. I will try to surf these waves. 

[SertralineIssues29]

After reading your post 1 thing I find weird is that I took a single ativan/lorazepam after I had my adverse reaction and ct from sertraline and the ativan is what caused my dpdr to start, something to do with that hurt my brain 😂

 

Maybe alto is right, the ativan may still be contributing to the dpdr! Along with the original anxiety and stuff that you say was before the meds

 

Either way I'm wishing you well on whatever decisions you make 

 

SI xx

[bambam]

20 minutes ago, SertralineIssues29 said:

After reading your post 1 thing I find weird is that I took a single ativan/lorazepam after I had my adverse reaction and ct from sertraline and the ativan is what caused my dpdr to start, something to do with that hurt my brain 😂

 

Maybe alto is right, the ativan may still be contributing to the dpdr! Along with the original anxiety and stuff that you say was before the meds

 

Either way I'm wishing you well on whatever decisions you make 

 

SI xx

I noticed the dpdr while I was taking the lamictal when I got to 75mg I woke up with unbearable anxiety one day and the dpdr so about 3 months before any ativan. But either way, I’m not gonna take anymore. I haven’t taken any in almost a month because it just doesn’t seem worth it since I didn’t really help anyway, it was just barely take the edge off and I think the anxiety I would experience during a withdrawal from out of it would be way worse so I’ve just decided to steer clear. My anixirty before meds was so mild I wanna kick myself for thinking I needed medication for it and for listening to the Dr who said lamictal is good for anxiety. The anxiety I’ve experienced while taking it and since stopping it is the worst and feels very chemical rather than natural situational anxiety I started with.  I hope you start feeling better soon! 

[bambam]

The magnesium possibly sensitized my system. Can’t tolerate any amount of caffeine anymore. Before I could have a soda and be ok but now any amount of caffeine causes anxiety. Trying to view these things as symptoms instead of a permanent condition. 

[Shep]

14 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

Before I could have a soda and be ok but now any amount of caffeine causes anxiety. Trying to view these things as symptoms instead of a permanent condition. 

 

Or perhaps view these symptoms as a "good idea" - soda and caffeine aren't good for you, so this is a great opportunity to change some habits and come out way ahead of the game as you heal. Because withdrawal lasts so long, your new way of eating and drinking become habits that you may not wish to change even when your body can handle more toxic substances. 

[bambam]

1 hour ago, Shep said:

 

Or perhaps view these symptoms as a "good idea" - soda and caffeine aren't good for you, so this is a great opportunity to change some habits and come out way ahead of the game as you heal. Because withdrawal lasts so long, your new way of eating and drinking become habits that you may not wish to change even when your body can handle more toxic substances. 

That’s very true! Even without caffeine or sugar I keep waking up with my heart racing feeling anxious. This symptom went away for many months and now has been back for almost six weeks. 

[Altostrata]

20 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

The magnesium possibly sensitized my system. 

 

Unlikely.

 

Don't ingest caffeine.

[bambam]

11 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

Unlikely.

 

Don't ingest caffeine.

Yes I have stopped any caffeine or sugar and still am anxious all day and waking with heart racing. This wave has lasted a very long time. Not sure why. The last waves weren't this long. I thought maybe I had a paradoxical reaction to the magnesium glycinate because it made panic attacks worse and the dissociated brain feeling. Although I know there’s no way to know for sure what’s going on.

[bambam]

Is amoxicillin ok to take for a sinus infection?

[Shep]

12 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

Is amoxicillin ok to take for a sinus infection?

 

Please see: 

 

Cipro, Levaquin, Azithromycin (Z-Pack), and other antibiotics

[bambam]

Hi everybody. Thought I’d check in. I am 40 weeks off all medications. I am healing. Most days I feel pretty normal. I do have dpdr and some anxiety but it is much less than at the start of all of this and months ago. I went on an airplane today and did fine. I am feeling back to my old self for the most part. I have hope and faith my remaining dpdr will fade. I will update again at 1 year off. 

[Shep]

3 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

Hi everybody. Thought I’d check in. I am 40 weeks off all medications. I am healing. Most days I feel pretty normal. I do have dpdr and some anxiety but it is much less than at the start of all of this and months ago. I went on an airplane today and did fine. I am feeling back to my old self for the most part. I have hope and faith my remaining dpdr will fade. I will update again at 1 year off. 

 

Excellent update, Atnyxoxo. Glad you are doing so well. 

[bambam]

On 6/25/2023 at 11:44 AM, Shep said:

 

Excellent update, Atnyxoxo. Glad you are doing so well. 

Sad to report I have entered what I think is a wave. I’ve made no changes. No new drugs or supplements but had a horrible panic attack when trying to sleep last night and have been anxious and panicking all day.  I feel very discouraged. I felt like I was making real progress but today is horrible with panic and severe dpdr. I am 10 months off. Will this ever end?

[Shep]

9 hours ago, Atnyxoxo said:

Sad to report I have entered what I think is a wave. I’ve made no changes. No new drugs or supplements but had a horrible panic attack when trying to sleep last night and have been anxious and panicking all day.  I feel very discouraged. I felt like I was making real progress but today is horrible with panic and severe dpdr. I am 10 months off. Will this ever end?

 

I wouldn't get discouraged - it's NORMAL to have waves at 10 months off. Why would you feel discouraged that your recovery is going the way most people's recoveries go? We tell people it's best to wait until they're a year off these drugs before writing a success story because it's so common to have a bad wave a number of months off these drugs. 

 

Try not to scare yourself. Part of the recovery process is navigating through these later waves. Tell yourself it's perfectly fine and things are going as expected. The less you let these waves take over your daily thought-stream, the less power they have over you. 

 

Now is a good time to re-visit the distractions and non-drug coping skills you used to get through acute withdrawal. I always tell myself to be grateful for these waves because it's a signal to practice these non-drug coping skills more intensely for awhile, making me better and better at them. 

 

Make sure you haven't been overdoing things the past few weeks as you've been feeling better. That's very easy to do when feeling better. It's tempting to test the waters and take on more activities. Even fun activities can still be activating to the still sensitive nervous system. Now is a good time to take a day or two off work, if you can. Perhaps schedule some downtime to give your nervous system more rest. 

 

It will get better, Atnyxoxo. 

[bambam]

3 hours ago, Shep said:

 

I wouldn't get discouraged - it's NORMAL to have waves at 10 months off. Why would you feel discouraged that your recovery is going the way most people's recoveries go? We tell people it's best to wait until they're a year off these drugs before writing a success story because it's so common to have a bad wave a number of months off these drugs. 

 

Try not to scare yourself. Part of the recovery process is navigating through these later waves. Tell yourself it's perfectly fine and things are going as expected. The less you let these waves take over your daily thought-stream, the less power they have over you. 

 

Now is a good time to re-visit the distractions and non-drug coping skills you used to get through acute withdrawal. I always tell myself to be grateful for these waves because it's a signal to practice these non-drug coping skills more intensely for awhile, making me better and better at them. 

 

Make sure you haven't been overdoing things the past few weeks as you've been feeling better. That's very easy to do when feeling better. It's tempting to test the waters and take on more activities. Even fun activities can still be activating to the still sensitive nervous system. Now is a good time to take a day or two off work, if you can. Perhaps schedule some downtime to give your nervous system more rest. 

 

It will get better, Atnyxoxo. 

Thank you shep, you are always so kind. I get discouraged since I’ve had good days for a few months then got hit with horrible panic that made me feel right at the start when I came off these meds. I start to doubt that this is withdrawal although I never had any of these symptoms before even taking lamictal. I am still a ways away from being a success story I think. I will continue to ride these waves and use my coping strategies. I just hate when the panic hits so hard that the dpdr gets intense and I feel unreal like I’m floating. 

[bambam]

Hi all. Just thought I’d give an update. My one year off was September 15. I would say I feel 90% healed. My dpdr and dissociation is much better. Brain fog is getting better. I haven’t had much anxiety since July. First sign of healing is I got a new job and training is a full time schedule. I am retaining the information and remembering things. This time last year my brain fog was so bad I couldn’t remember simple things without needing to keep notes. Second sign of healing I accidentally drank a non decaf Starbucks but I had no ill effects at all. I do still have moments of dissociation but I pretty much ignore them and don’t notice them unless I think about it. I am living my life again as normal. Going to outings and enjoying my life again. I am hopeful I will recover 100% and the remaining dpdr will go away but I am so so so much better than I was at the start of all this. I do get insomnia around my cycle but the lack of sleep isn’t leaving me completely dissociated and checked out anymore. I will never take brain altering chemicals again. The things the drugs caused were so much worse than my original issues. I started drugs for mild anxiety and developed a whole host of issues. Psych drugs help some people but I am certainly not one of those people. I wish healing and recovery for everyone 🩷

[Shep]

Thanks for coming back with such a great update, @bambam.

 

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

Please see this topic:  How to write your success story

Edited September 27, 2023 by Shep
added more information

[Altostrata]

I am pleased to report that bambam has written a beautiful success story

 

and in keeping with our custom, I will close this topic now. Please congratulate bambam in her Success Stories topic.

[Ashpashley23]

@bambam how are you doing now? I hope you’re still well and that the dpdr has finally gone away for you!

[bambam]

17 minutes ago, Ashpashley23 said:

@bambam how are you doing now? I hope you’re still well and that the dpdr has finally gone away for you!

Hello! I am well. Dpdr only comes when I am extremely tired but it does not send me into a panic anymore. I am able to close my eyes to nap and sleep at night. When I notice it come back I remind myself that it would’ve had to gone away for me to notice its return. I do battle some insomnia around my cycle but nothing horrible. I am working again and back in school. I do have to focus harder to retain information but that could be due to a number of things. Overall I am much much better than I was this time last year. It has been one year since I experienced the grueling panic attack from magnesium. I am slowly introducing supplements back in but haven’t noticed anything negative. I drink caffeine just fine now but I do try to limit it just due to fear. Not an alcohol drinker so can’t comment on that but I would say I’m 95% recovered. I do get waves but they are easily ignorable. I wish you healing and recovery! 

[KenA]

 

@bambam Thank you so much for coming back and giving an update! I notice that your intro topic has been reopened, and you have posted a success story so I will relock your intro topic and post a new link to your success story!