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DillyDally: introduction


DillyDally

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Hello all, 

 

I want to first thank you for sharing your experiences and for working so hard to make this information available. It has been, in no uncertain terms, life saving to me in the last 7 months.

 

I have done the best I can with a complex history, a poor memory and a very tired mind. I have tried to be relevant and minimal in information I worry will be upsetting or triggering to anyone.. but I do want to share as I could do with some understanding/empathy from peers while I navigate these scary waters. I do have a support but I find myself justifying/explaining a lot more than I feel understood. It will also help if questions do arise or to enable me to join in discussions. So here goes..

 

Medications

Fluoxetine 2008 from GP due to depression and anorexia (age 18)

Duloxetine 2009 from psychiatrist- risk to my heart due to purging so was discontinued abruptly by another psychiatrist when I was admitted to an inpatient facility that year. Diagnosed with anorexia. (I was under inpatient psychiatric “care” at different points between 2009 and 2013 for 23 months.)

Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. 

Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. 

Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010 these three medications in addition to Mirtazapine are started in 2009 to treat anorexia and depression while under inpatient care. Discharged early due to non compliance (lost weight due to being kicked out of family home). I highlight this as it is relevant to a cycle of being medicated and held it contempt from medical professionals for my trauma responses and existential crises born of these issues which (what a shock) have not gone away with medication.

Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. 

Quetiapine150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. 

Olanzapine 2010-2011. 

Zolpiclone7.5mg 2010-2014. 

 

Various medications tried while inpatient again for 10 months from Sept 2010. No therapy offered just lots of medication and stuck on a ward, memory is bad of this time understandably but I remember nearly going blind from uveitis in both eyes at one point. Difficult to know what medication was causing versus severe malnutrition and wilful self neglect. Was voluntarily held but under threat that if I left “xyz would happen”.

 

Was discharged 2011 to outpatient treatment.

 

Started Citalopram 2012. Caused severe insomnia, agitation, anxiety. Ended up being hospitalised when I became at risk to myself from lack of sleep or relief from my skin crawling. It went on for so long as my psychiatric nurse would not take me seriously because I was managing to not lose any weight during this ordeal. I complained about this once I felt stronger. I was put then on a cocktail of Mirtazapine, Trazodone and Zolpiclone which eventually got me back into a rhythm of sleep. I began hallucinating at night and eating in my sleep more regularly and I needed 10 hours sleep minimum or I would be an absolute zombie.

 

All of this starting and continuing from 2012 until I stopped trazodone in 2016. In 2012 I was also diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder which was never discussed with me but went on my file permanently. I later found this out by accident in 2017. Hospitalised for eating disorder treatment again in 2012 for 5 months. 

 

Trazodone 2012-2016. 

See new psychiatrist in 2016 who agrees to remove trazodone. I have a poor memory of this time particularly due to more familial breakdowns and trauma. Start lamotragine in addition to the Mirtazapine 45mg which I have been takin for 7 years now.

Lamotrigine 2016-2017. 

 

I moved to a new town and therefore a new psychiatric team soon after this and had a major relapse and felt completely hopeless and suicidal for over a year (2017-2018). I was told about the EUPD diagnoses, the symptoms of which I could relate to but it did make me feel like I was stuck feeling suicidal for the rest of my life and ‘needed’ to be medicated permanently as a solution, but at least it was reason for why I was ‘this way’.

 

Started Venlafaxine 2017. Gave me terrible side effects especially of sweating, nightmares and a resting heart rate of 128bpm. I already had a resting heart rate of 110bpm and expressed my concerns when the psychiatrist insisted on increasing the dose and later claimed I asked him to increase it. His word against mine, and my word meant nothing. Got a new psychiatrist and he started me on Lithium in addition to the mirtazapine and kept in a small dose of aripiprozole as I had experienced mania on a higher dose the weeks prior. I felt so unwell going on to Lithium and I also experienced a lot if not all of the classic side effects and gained 10kg/22lbs in the first year which really hindered my well managed eating disorder progress and triggered me into a severe binge/ restrict cycle.

 

Even on the cocktail below I continued to experience daily suicidal ideation, existential dread (since age 8), agoraphobia (since the age of 13), anxiety, depression.. on the list goes. In August 2020 I came to fully understand and was able educate myself about trauma and how this was affecting me, how I could change it and how, for me, medication had nothing to do how I could heal my trauma responses, if anything I saw how medication was actually tied up in my trauma. If I can have daily, even hourly, flashbacks and suicidal thoughts on this cocktail of meds, I thought, then what is the point of taking it all.. thus began my journey of being psychiatric medication free. My diagnosis was officially changed to Complex PTSD.

 

Aripiprozole 2.5mg Sept 2017- Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5 weekly). Zolpiclone7.5mg 2017-CT Aug 2020. 

Propranolol40mg May 2019-CT Aug 2020. 

Buspirone August 2019-CT Aug 2020. 

Lithium(Priadel)800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). 

Mirtazapine45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam5mg(PRN)2011-May 2022.

 

Feels relevant to note that I now only take Paracetamol regularly (but as needed). Also, 1 x 30mg dose of Codeine (no more than twice a week) and 600mg of Aspirin (1-2 times a month if headache or locked jaw has lasted several days). I also use Peptac.

 

I do not drink alcohol (since 2012- always made me feel so ill and tastes like poison) or caffeine (since 2021). I do smoke cannabis daily but no cigarettes/nicotine (Quit CT Sept 2021). Also from Jan 2021-April 2022 I experienced about 11 infections, colds, flu, tonsillitis (with no tonsils no less), vomiting bug, stomach pains/reflux along with Severe sinus problems and throat ulcers which I had for almost all that time. It is what pushed me to stop smoking cigarettes once and for all out of desperation. I only drink water, rooibos tea and the homemade almond milk I make. I try hard to eat healthy but managing my eating disorder is also a huge priority so I have to strike a balance, I also am really struggling to stomach anything so I have to eat what I can physically get down too. I am mindful of low histamine and also in my case, low acid diets. 

 

I had no idea about withdrawal. I had only even taken in and heard the words serotonin syndrome in 2017. My head is no longer buried in the sand, I take full responsibility for my wellbeing and what I choose to accept as a form a treatment going forward and forgive myself for all I had to do to get here. I am suffering the consequences of my own ignorance but I will not continue to suffer as a consequence of other’s ignorance. However I got here, I am here now and I owe it to myself to keep working through all of this so I can find out if there is a life out there for me yet, more importantly, a life I want to live.

 

This website (where I have quietly lurked for 7 months) has enabled me to keep going but most importantly enabled me to advocate for myself. I have, as a result, an incredibly helpful and supportive GP who sees me every 3 weeks (this is both indescribably helpful for the WD but, mostly, in healing my medical trauma - i have not gone into detail but what I have experienced has truly broken my ability to trust any Drs at this point).

 

My focal point for healing complex trauma is not really different than this journey, nervous system healing all the way. I am so lonely though and afraid that this is it for me, that I need accept that my life will be inside 4 walls forever, that I will think not being here is the better option no matter how hard I work to show myself otherwise.. how can I truly show myself that life is worth living when I live the same day or week over and over again. I owe it to myself to find out.

 

I can’t have come this far only to give up now and not know what comes next for me. Surely if I have gotten through these 32 years of life so far I can endure what comes next? Im so afraid I’m spoiled now, ruined and defective. That I can never be healed. I have to tell myself that isn’t true, surely natural selection would have had me by now if I didn’t have the capacity to heal the damage that has been done.

 

The last thing I want to say is that I am totally open to being educated about cannabis and its effects on withdrawal or the nervous system but quite honestly it is the only unhealthy coping mechanism I have left, after pairing all others down, while I overcome my trauma. I am fully aware it is not ideal and for me, telling myseld I can’t or shouldn’t just wont work. Education and understanding could work. Understanding completely the consequences and effects I think can help me make a conscious and informed choice rather than a self judgmental one (which in my experience never helps me abstain, if anything quite the opposite). Thanks for reading if you made it this far..

 

Below is a full list of the symptoms I am experiencing. The do fluctuate and I do get windows but only enough to keep up with the house and my self care. I am still housebound, isolated, agoraphobic, unable to drive and feel so unbearably dependent.

 

Headaches (Daily Headaches, Pain at base of skull, Scalp pain, Jaw pain/tightness/clicking, Sensitive to sunlight, Eye soreness/heaviness, Shooting pain in temple)

 

Muscular and Joint issues (Pain in Jaw and Face/Scalp/Base of skull/Neck/Shoulders/Ribs/Lower Back/Hips, Jaw Locking, Muscles ‘burn’ with minimal use (ie stairs/brushing teeth), Joints stiff and click, Whole body aches next day from very minimal activity/stress or no reason at all, Difficulty keeping muscles relaxed, Restless Legs, Shaking/Trembling, Feeling of weakness)

 

Exhaustion and Sleep issues (Fatigue, Extreme sleepiness/yawning, Difficulty falling/staying asleep, Vivid dreams)

 

Stomach issues (Nausea, Lack of Appetite, Hunger pain, Pain under (mostly left) ribs, Stomach cramps, Diarrhoea)

 

Temperature Control issues (Goosebumps, Chills, Hot Flushes, Sweating, Prickling/Itchy Skin)

 

Cognitive (Forgetful, Lack of Concentration, Brain Fog, Feeling Detached/Dizzy, Crying Spells)

 

Sinus/Oral issues (Runny Nose, Tongue and Throat Ulcers, Dry Mouth, Sore Throat, Cramps in Throat, Tinnitus, Earache)

 

Miscellaneous (Eczema on soles of feet and hands, Itchy bites that disappear after a few hours, Bruising more easily and taking long time to go)

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
resized font and added spacing

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to DillyDally: introduction

Hi again,

Something I realised I neglected to clarify: All my ‘tapers’/medication changes that I have done, apart from parts of 2008-2011, have been medically supervised, i.e I have complied and done what I was advised/told to do, trusted that I must not deviate from what the good doctor says about medication.

 

I knew medication wasn’t to be toyed with I just worried about the wrong thing ironically. I am much more organised than it appears from my notes and in time I’m sure I could scour through my medical notes and detailed journals to find every little detail needed.
 

I will if I have to.. and there are monthly symptom lists Ive recorded using the checklist by dr glenn mullen if these would be of interest. I record(ed) which from the list I experienced since the last check and then break it down into 3 sections, daily, most days and some days, because thats as much as it has varied so far. Even on a good day there are the consistent symptoms at some point but its worth finding any way I can to remind myself its not always a 10/10 bad day, as you have suggested. I have found the information you provide outright invaluable and being able to search is equally fantastic.

 

I struggle the most, and I guess I am reaching out, because the fear, loneliness and sense of despair/helplessness is overwhelming these last few days. I find it so hard to articulate to those around the palpable feeling of powerlessness when these tsunamis of emotion overwhelm me periodically. The emotional comes and goes the physical is constant. I do know this will pass, because so far it has each time, but it feels like I could cry so hard I’ll float away and only 4 hours ago I’d got up from the last wave of tears and got myself back to an accepting space of, ‘okay, we can do this my love’. It’s hard to keep up, no wonder others can’t.
 

It’s harder to know whats a trigger now, whats trauma, whats a neuro-emotion or WD, which are problems that need addressing and which one is just an obsessive loop to match the sense of dread. Maybe the problem does need addressing but not at the extreme level of urgency (as in NOW!) that my heart rate and emotions would suggest. Its challenging when my main focus of healing is learning to express needs as simple as just saying ’I’d prefer to be alone’, or declining to take an unexpected social call, all the way to much bigger needs. Asking for or addressing my needs can cause a day to a week of panic (especially a relentlessly acing heart) and seriously triggers symptoms and, to a degree it is simply unavoidable, if I am to get well and not stay in a loop. I don’t remember what if feels like not to be on medication, I was 17 then.

 

I was getting to grips with this more and more, I’ve worked really hard to evolve.. so I really can tell at least some of the time how the WD has turned Everything existing up to full blast and created its own set of symptoms to go with. Im sorry for going on, though it does feel good to get this off my chest.

 

thanks again for being a lighthouse in a storm

never again will I DillyDally when it comes to putting myself and my health first

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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I really hope it’s okay to post again, but reading through more introductions, I am remembering more and realising what might be helpful to include.

I want to be part of the solution and provide information as a case study too as well as connect with this community.

 

I also wanted to clarify more about why I didn't reinstate when I came across SA and the advice contained within a month or two into my withdrawal (I said 7 months but Ive really been lurking about 5):

1. Once I realised completely what was happening I was overcome with terror and mistrust at speaking to any kind of dr. I didn’t want to make things worse by being at the mercy of a system that helped create this mess.


2. It took almost 5 months (August) to get to work with a GP that I would say is mostly clued in to the process, and supportive enough that I feel safe with a doctor for the first time which is what I need to heal more than anything. But the point being I thought it was too late to reinstate at that point and I didnt have enough windows yet to gather/remember enough information to get me started here to ask. 

3. I know this may not be a unique fear and I know you have FAR more experience than I could about this but I was, and still am, far too terrified by this all to even contemplate putting chemicals back in. I felt and still feel that I could ride this out, I hope I am right. 

 

I have attached the graph I made which I discussed in my previous reply. Please ask me any questions if I have not clarified enough yet what to make of this graph. Also let me know if a breakdown of the data would be helpful for my case study.

 

I also want to say that I have been noticing improvements in the last month compared to all others. More sleep at times (the dark helps), a little more food eaten some days, a little more brain sparking at times. My few recent days of despair crying seem to be dissipating for now and I am back to just feeling very physically challenged and foggy but my mood feels more stable as I can access all the skills I have to remain accepting and compassionate of this process.
 

Some things I am finding helpful: yoga, somatic swaying/tapping/gentle dance, nervous system healing meditation or guided meditations in general, journaling, very gentle walking (I use a treadmill when walking alone due to agoraphobia so it is not stressful), acupuncture, massage, essential oil burners (lavender and eucalyptus). 
 

I tried magnesium 2 days in a row and it made me feel incredibly relaxed (yay) then very very nauseated and headachy for about a week and it was obvious so have not taken again (this was a month or so ago would need to check dates).
 

I have taken to heart what is spoken about here. I didn’t want to seem ignorant or as though I do not heed your wisdom. I am referring to cannabis and codeine mostly. I am aware of what needs to be done to heal and have worked my hardest so far to strike a balance and will continue to do so.

 

thanks again, wishing you all well

 

 

E705AD72-CF34-4066-91CC-B64EB5D228D9.jpeg

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Administrator

Welcome, @DillyDally

 

What times o'clock do you take each of your current drugs, with their dosages?

 

On 11/19/2022 at 11:26 AM, DillyDally said:

I also want to say that I have been noticing improvements in the last month compared to all others. More sleep at times (the dark helps), a little more food eaten some days, a little more brain sparking at times. My few recent days of despair crying seem to be dissipating for now and I am back to just feeling very physically challenged and foggy but my mood feels more stable as I can access all the skills I have to remain accepting and compassionate of this process.

 

Which symptoms have gotten better in the last month? Which are most prominent now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hello @Altostrata,

thank you.

 

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What times o'clock do you take each of your current drugs, with their dosages?

 

Medication Last Month

*cannabis daily

Oct 22nd No Medication

23rd Paracetamol 1000mg 11.45am, Aspirin (soluble) 600mg 6pm

24th No Medication

25th No Medication

26th No Medication

27th Paracetamol 500mg and Codeine 30mg 5.30pm

28th No Medication

29th Paracetamol 1000mg

30th Aspirin (soluble) 900mg 4.20pm

31st No Medication

Nov 1st Paracetamol 500mg and Codeine 30mg 8.30pm

2nd No Medication

3rd Paracetamol 1000mg 6.45pm

4th Aspirin (soluble) 600mg 6pm

5th No Medication

6th  No Medication

7th Paracetamol 1000mg 4.45pm, Codeine 30mg 5.30pm

8th No Medication

9th No Medication

10th Paracetamol 1000mg 5pm

11th No Medication

12th Paracetamol 500mg and Codeine 30mg 4pm

13th No Medication

14th Peptac 10ml 3.30am, Paracetamol 1000mg 12.30pm, Aspirin (soluble) 600mg 5pm

15th Peptac 10ml 4am

16th No Medication

17th No Medication

18th No Medication

19th Paracetamol 1000mg 4.30pm, Codeine 30mg 5.30pm

20th No Medication

21st Aspirin (soluble) 600mg 6pm 5.30pm

 

(Aspirin use is a bit higher than I thought, it’s the only medicine that relieves my jaw from locking, especially since I already pay for acupuncture and can’t always be seen in an emergency. I am on a waitlist for hospital assessment(1.5 years so far) and my jaw has starting locking daily since the 10th of October which has increased intensity and duration of headaches a lot)


 

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Which symptoms have gotten better in the last month?

What my Windows have been like the last month

 

Better sleep (less restless and able to get back off when I wake from vivid dreaming, larger chunks of sleep too e.g 6-7 hours made up 2-3 hour chunks instead of on a worse night, 4-5 hours in 1-2 hour chunks).

Appetite better and Nausea/Motion Sickness Less (more hours/days where I feel less disgusted by food and weight-loss starting to plateau)

Fewer Trapped Nerves in Back/Shoulders

Better concentration

Less dizziness and shakiness/trembling

Diarrhoea more sporadic instead of daily

Less adrenaline surges/palpitations (they felt almost constant in August and September) and therefore more of state of rest and better sleep.

 

Those are the ones that stand out.

 

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Which are most prominent now?

I’m definitely back in more of a wave now but I can acknowledge and identify that this wave is not like I was when I started this process in April by any means. It feels like a 5-10% improvement on a lot of symptoms overall which, when you’re in this, feels a lot.

 

Current most prominent symptoms

Jaw pain/locking (pain into neck/throat and ear)

Headaches (!)

Fatigue/yawning/lethargy

Hunger pain/stomach cramps

Temperature control (freezing/goosebumps or sweaty)

Dizziness/poor coordination

Jelly legs/trembling

Low mood/despair/fear/rumination (this has been more manageable until recently so accepting this as part of the process)

Anxiety and Palpitations starting to increase again
 

thanks for your time and wisdom

DillyDally

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Administrator

Why are you taking codeine?

 

Jaw tension and pain are common psychiatric drug withdrawal effects. Stretching, self-massage, physical therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractic can be helpful. We also recommend regular use of a night guard. See 

 

Facial tics, jaw, tongue muscle tension and pain, bruxism, teeth clenching, TMJ 

 

Tension, pain, twitches, excruciating spasms in muscles and joints

 

Non-drug techniques for dealing with body pain


Non-drug techniques to ease chronic pain

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Jaw tension and pain are common psychiatric drug withdrawal effects. Stretching, self-massage, physical therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractic can be helpful. We also recommend regular use of a night guard. See 

Thanks for the information and links. I am already doing all the things suggested, including investing in a mouth guard may 2021) and have been for the duration. Acupuncture has been helping some recently but it still locks and prevents eating so I resorted to aspirin lately. I had avoided aspirin due to my abuse of anti-inflammatories in my 20s.  

 

4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Why are you taking codeine?

 

 As for the coideine, it has been the only relief I have had from symptoms and pain with minimal or without

obviously causing any issue/symptoms. When pain becomes unbearable and I have exhausted all of my usual holistic and med free coping techniques(stretches, yoga, self massage, warm bath, warm compress, cold compress, essential oil, meditation, also paying way more than I can afford to see my chiropractor frequently also provides acupuncture) throughout the day then I give in to some relief. I think that is why there us an element of consistency in the times I do take pain relief. 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Administrator

You have a good attitude, that's important.

 

16 hours ago, DillyDally said:

It feels like a 5-10% improvement on a lot of symptoms overall which, when you’re in this, feels a lot.

 

It's a very good sign. You've been off your drugs only since May. As we say, healing is frustratingly slow and gradual.

 

Are you able to get mild exercise every day, such as walking? This assists your body in re-regulation.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Are you able to get mild exercise every day, such as walking? This assists your body in re-regulation.

 Yes I am; this has just started becoming a possibility this last month and it feels wonderful to get even 5-10 minutes of fresh air. Im going slow and steady with it as the stress of agoraphobia is a lot but it has to be addressed once and for all too. Occupational therapy will start in the new year. If I go to far or too fast I know it and my muscles and skin know it too (burning/itching). 
 

2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

It's a very good sign. You've been off your drugs only since May. As we say, healing is frustratingly slow and gradual.

 Without a log of my symptoms and mood the last 2 years, especially the last 7 months with the descent into med free, I would not recognise the improvements Im making, I think its so important to find anyway to remind oneself of improvements of any kind and saw this encouraged here. Its so easy to be swept away in the spiral/dispair of “its not getting any better” and find yourself in groundhog day which is not motivating in any way.

 

I can never sink into the utter hopelessness of “I’m stuck lick this” no matter how small (and its very small) my life feels at this point because my own data doesn’t lie, I am getting better but sadly, it will never be as quick as I or anyone deserves.
 

2 hours ago, Altostrata said:

You have a good attitude, that's important


thank you. This website has really helped compound a lot of my self belief

I am so grateful! 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • 1 month later...

@Altostrata

hi I was hoping you may be able to advise or point me in the right direction please. I finally have my appointment (NHS UK) to be seen about my jaw (maxillo) 30th January. I am trying to find information about steroid injection and/or botox injections and their impact on withdrawal. I am going to ask for any non medication related treatments to be the focus but would like to read/understand more to advocate for myself. 
i am still struggling a lot and am reluctant to trigger my waves further if I can avoid it but my jaw is causing a lot of discomfort and I have lost a lot of mobility in my jaw too. I will put up with it if needs must but I don’t want the part of me that’s struggling to cope to be swayed by the wrong advice when the time comes. Hope this makes sense, I dont feel all that clear. Appreciate any literature you can point me towards or advice you can give, all the best.

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Administrator

I would ask about physical therapy for your jaw condition before trying drugs. Please use Google and read up on exercises for TMJ.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I already do exercises among many non medicine related tools.

Im guessing it is just a consensus then that, like all medicine, steroids and botox affect withdrawal. Was hoping to be more specific but perhaps thats all there is too it. Afraid I’ll be told ‘it’s these medicines or nothing’ after a long wait. We’ll see.

thanks for your time. 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Mentor

Hi @DillyDally

Wanted to chime in here. As I have experienced tmj. I experienced it when I had been few months off of the “drugs “

Can you open your mouth?

I found YouTube videos that help with tmj exercises. There is plenty of them.

I was given ibuprofen, which did little. But fortunately it went away with time. It was really uncomfortable, but time was my healer.

 

 


1999-2020  20 mg Paxil

Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil.

2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12  13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg

 


I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience.

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1 minute ago, Hanna72 said:

Hi @DillyDally

Wanted to chime in here. As I have experienced tmj. I experienced it when I had been few months off of the “drugs “

Can you open your mouth?

I found YouTube videos that help with tmj exercises. There is plenty of them.

I was given ibuprofen, which did little. But fortunately it went away with time. It was really uncomfortable, but time was my healer.

 


thanks Hanna72. I’m hopeful time will be mine too. I can open my mouth about half, maybe less, of what I once could. My tmj was pretty bad before WD and WD seems to have exacerbated everything unfortunately. I can put up with a lot but headaches are my enemy.

 

I’m sorry you experienced tmj yourself and am glad for you, as well as hopeful, to hear you have improved. Thanks for chiming in too, its helpful, and yes, I agree, there are tons of helpful exercises/resources on youtube for sure. 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • 1 month later...

Hello @DillyDally

I've just read your story and I'm appalled at the amount of needless medication you had been given with no regard to your sanity or health.

can I say you have amazed me by actually Surviving such an ordeal over the years. Deep down you obviously have such inner strength to battle your way through to this point in your life. I wish you strength to carry on and hope you keep us updated on how things are going. 

 

1998 - Levothyroxine 100 mg daily, (radioactive iodine treatment twice) and  Asthma steroid inhaler daily

2012 - Citalopram 20 mg daily for panic attacks

2020 - Citalopram 10 mg daily.

2022 - August. Gastritis, Omeprazole 20 mg for 2 weeks. Continual pain, changed diet.

August. Severe anxiety. High cortisone levels 24/7

September. Citalopram 20 mg daily

October. Citalopram 30 mg daily, reduced to 20 mg. Diazepam 2 mg and Promethazine

November. Citalopram 5 mg, changed to Sertraline 25 mg. Hallucinations, head pressure.

December. Mirtazapine 7.5 mg. Stopped all drugs (except Levothyroxine). Cold turkey, 5 days, nightmares, nausea, high anxiety, head pressure, jumbled brain, weird thoughts. Reinstated Citalopram 2.5 mg, increasing to 5 mg. Continuing on 5 mg, not stabilised. Terrible symptoms, jaw clenching, tearful, doom, chest pressure etc etc. 

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a quick reply to thank you for your kind words @HelenR. Especially today, it feels well timed and has reached me on a particularly depleted and lonely day and soothed a little of that, so thank you for taking the time.

 

Do plan on another update soon. Healing and strength in return to you

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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If it helped in any small way it will make my day too. Take care.

1998 - Levothyroxine 100 mg daily, (radioactive iodine treatment twice) and  Asthma steroid inhaler daily

2012 - Citalopram 20 mg daily for panic attacks

2020 - Citalopram 10 mg daily.

2022 - August. Gastritis, Omeprazole 20 mg for 2 weeks. Continual pain, changed diet.

August. Severe anxiety. High cortisone levels 24/7

September. Citalopram 20 mg daily

October. Citalopram 30 mg daily, reduced to 20 mg. Diazepam 2 mg and Promethazine

November. Citalopram 5 mg, changed to Sertraline 25 mg. Hallucinations, head pressure.

December. Mirtazapine 7.5 mg. Stopped all drugs (except Levothyroxine). Cold turkey, 5 days, nightmares, nausea, high anxiety, head pressure, jumbled brain, weird thoughts. Reinstated Citalopram 2.5 mg, increasing to 5 mg. Continuing on 5 mg, not stabilised. Terrible symptoms, jaw clenching, tearful, doom, chest pressure etc etc. 

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  • 1 month later...

Hello all,

 

Wishing you all well. I thought I’d come back with an update. Given that my first ‘antidepressant free’ day in 14 years was 18th April last year, today feels a little like an anniversary and a good time to update should it be useful.

 

Not sure which order to put each little update in so I’ve put headings to try and break it down.

 

Jaw 

I was seen by maxillo and the Dr was very understanding about withdrawal. I was advised to continue what I was doing but to increase the amount and frequency of applying heat. I still can’t open my mouth very wide, need smaller and softer food and experience pain but the perpetual throbbing is much much less, as are the headaches stemming from that pain. The heat really helps in addition to the other tools I describe using in previous posts. Cold is the enemy for the pain so I’m hopeful for warmer weather. I am having an MRI Friday to find out what the cartilage is doing in the joint. Beyond this information being conclusive from the MRI I wont be accepting the available treatment of off label antidepressants or botox either way. Im just glad something has brought enough relief to ease the the bulk of the pain/headaches.

 

Headaches 

Through December and January I had debilitating days (and nights) of relentless headaches. I think a lot of stressors were relentless too which was exacerbating things, my jaw included. 

 

Everything seemed to set off a headache especially artificial or strong smells, loud sounds and any stress or overthinking whatsoever. It felt like something about the withdrawal was peaking during these months. It felt like I needed to make a big change to be able to keep things going.

 

 By mid January I has told everyone I have regular contact with that I would be taking space for as long as it takes to get the capacity to do more beyond taking absolutely excellent care if myself and learning how to regulate my emotions (without constant social triggers and pushing through symptoms that people dont seem to understand). I realised I wasn’t going to be met where I was, it’s too difficult for those around me to fathom what I’m experiencing, so I needed to meet myself there and embrace and process of isolation to heal and get to know who I really am. I feel so different without medication, even beneath the journey of withdrawal, I can feel my true self taking shape and helping me through this rather than pushing me through it.

 

I also was fortunate enough to be able to prioritise some finances towards a private therapist. This has helped tremendously too.

 

So… heat on my jaw, prioritising myself and my husband only as my social circle for now and therapy (based on the vagus nerve/polyvagal theory) all contributed to my headaches reducing substantially. By the middle of February, the 14th to be exact, my first real window began.

 

Window 

The first week was incredible and felt very obvious I was in a window, it was the least symptomatic I have been and for the longest time so far that week. It was difficult to hold back on what I wanted to do and although I was mindful of the level if activity, I made sure I made the most of being able to move in nature and tend to my home and marriage. Boy did we laugh together that week especially.

 

 

After a week, my symptoms did increase again but, while they fluctuated as they always do, the symptoms felt less pronounced or came and went in short bursts. Compared to how I had been the months previous it was still clear the window was continuing, just with a little less gusto. It took until about 2 weeks ago when the window felt well and truly over but the wave I started riding is a little less overall than before the window in February began. 

 

The main symptoms that felt better during my window

  • More sleep and a bit less fatigue (it felt like I was better at pushing through the fatigue, like an autopilot feeling once I was moving)
  • Better appetite and hardly any nausea or diarrhoea (weight loss halted)
  • Less Muscle aches 
  • Less Muscle stiffness from activity (able to walk further and had less muscle soreness after)
  • Better mood
  • Better mental clarity
  • Less ‘goosebump waves’ (as I call them)

 

Musings

 

I think based on what I’ve read and taking into account my experiences I am lucky with the progress I find myself making. Considering how debilitated and isolated I have often felt the last year it feels strange to say that but I think those in this community who have the inclination to read my history will agree. I no longer fear how long this might take. Now that I have had a window, now that I have felt a snippet of what the beginning of a ‘normal’ life could feel like I know I will get there if I keep going as I am and have been. I continue to be grateful to have this space to return to, to help me stay grounded in what continues to be my reality, while society takes its time to catch up.

 

I was invited to be on a panel for interviews for psychologists and nurses for an eating disorder department recently (what a big morning out that felt in my current state) and I will be invited back for more interviews and training days for occupational therapists, dieticians, social workers etc. All services looking to refer clients to psychiatry. I look forward to finding ways to make a difference, to educate and share lived experiences that could save someone from this ill-informed journey I have had to take til now.

 

Sorry about typos, I can’t really get this proofread…

Until next time,

DillyDally

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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On 11/16/2022 at 8:19 PM, DillyDally said:

there are monthly symptom lists Ive recorded using the checklist by dr glenn mullen if these would be of interest. I record(ed) which from the list I experienced since the last check and then break it down into 3 sections, daily, most days and some days, because thats as much as it has varied so far. Even on a good day there are the consistent symptoms at some point but its worth finding any way I can to remind myself its not always a 10/10 bad day, as you have suggested. I have found the information you provide outright invaluable and being able to search is equally fantastic


I have an updated version of this graph which I previously posted in November 2022 which now has a full year of data which is attached below IMG_8526.thumb.jpeg.f8e44c796f48b5a763cd69fc0b72d5d8.jpeg

I have also created a graph which breaks down each month of data into the symptoms and their frequency so the most prevalent and persistent symptoms can easily be seen.
 

IMG_8527.thumb.jpeg.53f24e7523041fa0a87252b702e0a8b1.jpeg

 

hope they aren’t too blurry, the best I could make work

 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Administrator

Good to hear you're doing a little better, @DillyDally Congratulations on taking charge of your self-care.

 

Are you using a sleep mask? That can give you more sleep in the early morning.

 

We've seen that withdrawal can cause muscle stiffness, perhaps that's at the root of many of your symptoms, including headaches. Can you do any stretching?

 

Have you found physical therapy or massage at all helpful for the TMJ?

 

Nice job with the charts. Patterns might be clearer if you organized the bars from most to least important symptom pattern. For example:

 

Chart 1: Every day, most days, some days. Overlay, not stack, on Total symptoms.

 

Chart 2: Change X and Y axis, put the chronology on the left.

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi @Altostrata

 

thank you so much for your kind words of affirmation and encouragement, it means a lot. Especially from the person who has made the information and wisdom available to make it possibly for me to do the best for myself. 
 

Sorry about my delayed response. I caught a cold the day you replied, I felt it come on inside the MRI machine from the air conditioning. It was pretty intense but I did think it would set me back more than it did, it felt like I just continued the wave I was already on before the cold came along and went. 


I think you’re right about the muscle stiffness. I stretch daily, morning and evening, sometimes small neck/jaw stretches or self massage throughout the day too. (This does help my jaw pain to answer your question but not mobility) I don’t need a reminder, the pain is a constant reminder and stretching is a wonderful relief. It’s never a ‘workout’, always comfortable but I do try to add a new moves to the ’routine’ every now and then. I started stretching daily 2 years ago when I started with my chiropractor, I started with 4 stretches, now my ‘routine’ has at least 20+ stretches. I dread to think how I’d feel without doing this and withdrawal was what pushed me to embrace and connect to this as a daily practice a year ago. I also try to do some other gentle movement each day such as walking or very gentle dance. 

 

My scalp is so sensitive so I haven’t had much success with sleep masks, but thank you so much for the suggestion. I cant even wear loose hair clips/slides for very long, or wear my hair up for long either, and sometimes every hair follicle hurts however my hair is unless I wash it and dry it reasonably quickly (a cold scalp sets off pain too). I have always worn my hair up in a towel after washing which I find I either can’t do at all now or only for a very short time. I used to have hair down to my waist and now I have cut it above my shoulders with bangs/fringe for minimal effort or need to tie it up. It has helped but I still feel an overwhelming urge to shave my head which I continue to resist (I mean no offence to anyone who has difficulties with hair loss naturally). I find it a struggle to wear my glasses, the feeling of them on my face is uncomfortable rather than the prescription (never had this problem before). The base of skull throbs and my neck muscles feel permanently tight. Even in windows this exists but, thankfully, it is somewhat less pronounced.

 

I feel like I’ve become like that story of the princess and the pea! Too bright, too loud, too cold, too hot, don’t touch me, I’m made of glass and paper and held together by eucalyptus oil! 
 

I like your suggestions to make the charts easier to digest but sorry to say that even using google I couldn’t figure a way to action them.. (embarrassed face) I do know someone in IT so when I feel up to it I’ll ask him to have a look for me.

 

thanks again, no one but those here and yourself will ever understand the depths of my gratitude for this space, for the validation and understanding you offer. I feel like a broken record but I mean it.

 

DillyDally

 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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  • Administrator

How about a soft towel over your eyes rather than a sleep mask?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata love this idea, will try this next time I need too. 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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19 hours ago, Altostrata said:

How about a soft towel over your eyes rather than a sleep mask?

This was helpful last night

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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Hey @Altostrata

 

Hope you are doing okay?

I feel like I’m entering a different pattern of windows and waves and wondered your thoughts.
 

For example, the last few nights I have slept pretty well. Have felt a sensation of drowsyiness through the night, waking up a lot like I usually do from dreams, but getting back to sleep, feeling too tired to move. Granted I have worked on sleep routine/hygiene but it hardly ever works so this has been a great sign of progress, almost like ‘night time window’ if you would agree? (Blocking light also being very helpful).

 

But the in the last few days, although my waves feel much less intense than last year, due to specific symptoms not being constant potentially (derealisation for one), I have had really intense muscular pain again like a bad wave, so certain symptoms come back or stay really full on while others seem to heal in their own pattern then get worse while then other ones are better for a while. Like whackamole.

 

Writing this down is helping me maybe see this is a good sign?.. I hope?

It has been making me feel a little crazy, like I’m losing it or it’s all in my head. Maybe that’s part of the wave too though. Gosh this is intense and isolating..

 

Ive been steadily reducing codeine, cannabis and improving my diet over this time, that latter being most difficult as I try to keep on weight with a sense of repulsion to food a lot but It feels like I need to use these new found little windows to step up my self care game and keep moving forward… though maybe I should give myself time to recoup in these windows? I know you can’t know everything or advise me about certain things but I would appreciate either some advice on this or just some reassurance/encouragement 

 

thank you, healing wishes

DillyDally 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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2 hours ago, DillyDally said:

Like whackamole.

 

Yes, that would be the waves and windows of withdrawal symptoms, which also mutate into other symptoms.

 

2 hours ago, DillyDally said:

Ive been steadily reducing codeine, cannabis and improving my diet over this time

 

You have been changing other drugs while reporting withdrawal symptoms?

 

What are ALL the drugs are you taking, at what times o'clock and dosages?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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18 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

You have been changing other drugs while reporting withdrawal symptoms?

 

What are ALL the drugs are you taking, at what times o'clock and dosages?

 

the only changes have been needing/wanting less of them, or symptoms making me want less of them. They have been naturally and slow.

codeine 30mg every 5 days -7days depending on how I’m coping/the need (which I’m sure we discussed before and it went no further so I continued as I was on this direction and it has very slowly reduced a little..)

 

and cannabis we never discussed after my intro but I have just naturally and very slowly wanted less and less so I’m down to about 1/2 of what I was smoking a year ago and I haven't had to push myself for that whatsoever which is a huge change for me.

 

i could push myself through to abstain more now as I am in the headspace to do it but I am also afraid of taking ‘the wrong’ approach with anything. So i have let my body signal the way so far trying to be intuitive and realistic. 
 

If more specific information would enable me to engage in your support further please let me know

 

thanks

 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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Please add ALL your current drugs to your signature.

 

What drug changes have you made in the last month?

 

I cannot interpret your symptom pattern if you are changing more than one drug at a time or not disclosing other drug changes.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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31 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

What drug changes have you made in the last month?


Had a cold 21st April for heavily 1 week. Could not tolerate cannabis much at all, naturally. Reduced on its own to 0.5g a day when it had been 1g prior to this so since the bulk of the cold passed April 30th, I would say it’s settled at 0.7g a day, sometimes very slightly less.

 

Usage is steady through the day. If I try to withhold I get symptoms at that time that are obvious (diarrhoea, sweating, tension/clenching) so I only do that if it is absolutely necessary (I had to for my EMDR sessions for example)


 

Codeine I only took 3 doses total throughout march and 5 in April. so no changes on that this month compared to last month (3 so far and its the 17th) I keep an average since I have been taking them and it keeps reducing very very slowly. It was 2.33 a week in August and now its 1.67. 

 

31 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I cannot interpret your symptom pattern if you are changing more than one drug at a time or not disclosing other drug changes.


i totally appreciate that and appreciate your time. I felt I had been completely candid re these drugs and lack of discussion around them meant I was doing the best I could and you had no input there, glad we can discuss it now.

 

thanks

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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21 hours ago, DillyDally said:

Usage is steady through the day. If I try to withhold I get symptoms at that time that are obvious (diarrhoea, sweating, tension/clenching) so I only do that if it is absolutely necessary (I had to for my EMDR sessions for example)

 

 

This indicates you are physically dependent on regular cannabis intake, and variations in that may cause symptoms of withdrawal.

 

For what reason do you take codeine? It's unusual for any patient to have a PRN codeine prescription.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

This indicates you are physically dependent on regular cannabis intake, and variations in that may cause symptoms of withdrawal.

 Could I take this as your agreement with my assumption that I should continue to let things settle before making any purposeful reductions of cannabis for now? Or that I need to taper more closely than I ever have if I’m to proceed?

 

as for the codeine it seems to bring a lot of relief for 12-24 hours, it has been and is a pain management tool in essence. It offers me time out from the constant pain and discomfort for what feels like very little cost, but some small costs at times I concede. i am interested always in less less less of everything chemical but I also dont want to destabilise myself when I am making slow but obviously steady progress since it has and does help.

I cant seem to tolerate NSAIDs at all now.

 

I feel less susceptible to feeling overwhelmed by suicidal feelings from feeling trapped now that I am actually getting relief in the stress in my home life and managing my emotions better and also more windows. That is why I think this is on my mind as even an option to look at all this more closely.

 

Im not sure how long my GP will prescribe it if it’s that rare (i didnt know that) but my GP fortunately is very supportive of this process and we have been working with my individual needs and based on information Ive learned here. He researched melatonin for me and we decided not to try it at the time. But he seemed happy with my reasons and tolerance for codeine, how I keep a log and share it with him etc.

 

Its not something Ive taken a lot of, only really 9 years ago when I had my tonsillectomy that I can recall taking it regularly for a couple of weeks straight. 
 

 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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No, what I meant was you are currently physically dependent on cannabis and variations in your intake may be causing the symptoms you report.

 

We don't provide peer support for cannabis tapering and withdrawal here. You're going to have to manage your intake and reduction, if you choose to go off.

 

How is physical therapy for your jaw going?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Thanks @Altostrata, I will keep going on my own journey as I am with that, with more compassion perhaps.

 

what about codeine, shall I continue as I am with that too? (Slow reduction trajectory) or the sooner I can use less and less the better? I will only adjust one at a time but just want to ask while we are engaging.

 

 

9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How is physical therapy for your jaw going?

its going okay thanks, during the windows I notice less pain and slightly more mobility at times which feels promising for the future, hot water bottle provides the most instant relief. But it’s slow progress and still painful. i will hopefully know the results of my MRI soon which will be interesting if nothing else.

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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Sorry, your use of codeine is also outside the scope of peer support here. It appears you've been on one drug or the other since 2008. This is entirely up to you, we have no opinion about drug use, your drugs are simply beyond what we do.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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No problem, thanks for the time and info you have provided @Altostrata.
 

Would it still be useful for me to report on my progress periodically? 

Fluoxetine 2008. Duloxetine 2009. Pregabalin Nov 2009-June 2010. Chlorpromazine Nov 2009-June 2010. Zolpidem Nov 2009-June 2010. Lorazepam(PRN)1mg Nov 2009-Oct 2012. Quetiapine 150mg Aug-Sept 2010 +75mg May 2012. Zolpiclone 7.5mg 2011-2014. Olanzapine 2010-2011. Citalopram 2012. Trazodone 2012-2016. Lamotrigine 2016-2017. Venlafaxine 150mg 2017. Aripiprozole 25mg Sept 2017-Nov 2017 + 5mg Jan 2018 - Oct 2020 (tapered 0.5mg weekly Oct 2020). Zolpiclone 7.5mg(PRN)2017-Aug 2020. Propranolol 80mg May 2019- August 2020 (tapered 10 days 40 then 7 days 20mg then stop). Buspirone 15mg August 2019-August 2020 (tapered 10 days 10mg then 7 days 5mg then stop). Amitriptyline 10mg 2 week prescription for chronic headache - stopped after two weeks due to severe suicidal ideation Lithium(Priadel) 800mg Dec 2017-July 2021 (tapered 200mg each month). Mirtazapine 45mg Nov 2009-April 2022 (tapered 3 weeks-30mg then 15mg then 15mg every other day 10 days then stop 18th April 2022). Diazepam 5mg(PRN)2011- CT May 2022. No psychiatric medication since. I was tolerating Codeine 15mg 4-6 times a month but no longer tolerating since stopping cannabis. Was smoking 0.80g of cannabis daily/24 hour for many years which I tapered over 6 months and stopped 1st Dec 2023. Paracetamol as needed but seldom works. Peptac as needed

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We always want to hear about people recovering from withdrawal syndrome. 🙂

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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