Wardy4022: amitriptyline severe reaction

[Wardy4022]

Thank you 

Its terrifying and I'm in a constant state of panic because of it.

I didn't know why everyone looks and sounds different as well. 

I can't stand being in my own mind and body. 

Just don't feel attached to anything even my own body.

This is too much 24/7 the dread and sheer panic.

 

 

[Wardy4022]

Would a small reinstatement of the citalopram do anything at this point if it is because of that. 

I just wish I knew what had done this. I need to do something.

I can't do this and will loose everything. My 7 year old can't watch this.

What's happened to me. 

The dread and terror is constant. That's all I feel. It's not normal anxiety.

I can't even look after myself.

My body is too weak it's absolute torture 

[Altostrata]

On 12/8/2022 at 3:29 PM, Altostrata said:

Depending on how you feel, you may wish to reinstate 1mg amitriptyline, using the prescription liquid. It is possible even this small amount will reduce the withdrawal reaction and pain, too, without making you too groggy. You may wish to take it in the evening in case it makes you drowsy.

 

After you stabilize for a while, you can taper off by minute amounts later.

 

[Wardy4022]

Hi

 

Thank you for the response. I hope you had a great Christmas.

 

I tried the amitriptyline reinstatement and it made me feel worse.

 

11 weeks out after only using amitriptyline for a week and I'm hanging on by a thread.

The mental symptoms especially are beyond anything I can cope with.

It's torture. 

The no feelings is the worse, just completely flat and also people looking and sounding different like I don't even recognise my own family.

Feels like theres a brick in my head with severe memory loss.

 

Before that week on amitriptyline I was content, happy and stable and a week on it has absolutely ruined me. Never thought anything like it would be possible. 

 

I'm trying walking, guided meditation and Deep breathing exercises.

 

Sleep music at night. Eating healthy and plenty of water

 

Thats why I wonder if it has more to do with stopping the citalopram and the withdrawal from that just happened to start after I'd stopped the amitriptyline.

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

It appears amitriptyline does not get along with you, and you had an adverse reaction to it in October, rather than withdrawal syndrome. See Adverse reactions to an antidepressant within a few doses -- how long for recovery?

 

Did you find diazepam helpful?

[Wardy4022]

No the diazepam didn't really work at all. 

 

Sometimes I'd feel it kick in but even the slightest sound was bringing on huge adrenaline rushes so then the feeling of it would be gone.

 

I had 2 diazepam on one of the nights in the beginning to help me sleep and only managed one hours sleep on them. They were only 2mg ones though

 

Sometimes i think I felt like they were making me even more anxious.

 

Just a case of sticking it out then if you don't think its anything to do with the  citalopram 😫

 

Thank you for responding. I hope it's ok for me to add to my thread still. Somewhere to vent and your support and understanding means a lot.

 

 

 

 

 

[Wardy4022]

Feel completely brain damaged. Can't hear properly it's like all sounds just blend into one, my eyesight is different. It's like I don't recognise anyone. 

Just feels like theres a brick in my head.

Severe memory loss. No feelings. Can't cry. Personality is gone.

I'm hanging on for dear life. I can't do it like this all I feel is terror 24/7

What happened to me 

Will it ever end because it's too much suffering 

 

[Altostrata]

On 12/28/2022 at 12:20 AM, Wardy4022 said:

Sometimes i think I felt like they were making me even more anxious.

 

If you take too much diazepam, it can cause anxiety and sleeplessness. It could be that 0.25mg per day would have been sufficient.

[Wardy4022]

How can something in your brain literally feel like it snaps and then you get better.

Everything is wrong and its terrifying. My body and brain feel so wrong.

I'm not me anymore 

My head feels like my brain is gone except for intrusive thoughts

All my senses are different 

Constant pain in my head

No feelings whatsoever 

Screaming in my head but no emotion to let it out

Feels like I've had a stroke both sides of my face no expression at all

Can't even muster up a sentence 

When I should get a feeling instead it's a rush of adrenaline over my heart and palpitations thats constant 

Feel detached from everything and everyone including my own body, it just feels numb

One week on a tablet has completely ruined my life and I can't see a way out.  How can anything do this. 

Every second is absolute torture 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

I feel that all my explanations have been a waste of time. Your problems may be beyond the assistance of peer support.

[Wardy4022]

I just wanted to write my final post on what has happened to me. Sorry it will be so long. I just want people to hear my story, i hope you will keep it in here, not to scare anyone as my reaction is rare. 

 

On the 11th of October last year I went to the doctor for pain. I had severe pain in the bottom of my back and would get shooting pain down my left side into my leg.

 

I was happy, healthy, loved my life, everything else was great. I just wanted to deal with the pain so I could work more hours.

 

I was prescribed amitriptyline. 10mg per day for a week then instructed to increase to 20mg after the first week and in 6 weeks time return to the doctors and let them know how I got on.

 

The morning after my first one I felt a bit drowsy which I thought was to be expected as they are a sedative as well.

After the second one I already started getting a numbing tingling feeling at the bottom of my back which I thought was odd so quickly but I carried on not thinking much of it.

On the 5th day I felt so strange not drowsy or sedated. A feeling I'd never felt before. Sort of a complete detachment. I couldn't drive. 

 

On the 7th day I thought I can't double the dose I don't like how they make me feel so I rang the doctor and said I was stopping.

I was told to continue as these effects would pass but I didn't. 

 

Every day after seemed to get worse and worse with obsessive thoughts that couldn't be  changed by fact. I felt disorientated and barely spoke.

I thought everything would go away once I'd stopped.

 

I continued to get these strange what I can only describe as adrenaline rushes but worse than anything I'd ever experienced.

These rushes built up to the most severe reaction I can't even put into words.

 

I had huge huge rushes, I could hardly breathe one after the other, severe sweating, high temperature, huge internal tremors in my body.

At the same time this was happening in my body I felt 'something' travel up from the middle of the inside of my neck into my own brain. I felt this 'something' expanding in my own brain. It wasn't a just a sensation. I could actually feel it move up there and then start to feel it expanding when it got into a space big enough.

The only thing I can describe it as is it felt like a thick liquid. It expanded big in the middle of my own brain. It was the most disgusting, most disturbing unimaginable thing. 

From that very second I got above 50 symptoms at exactly the same time.

 

These symptoms have all stayed exactly the same at the same intensity every day, every second for 6 months 

 

For the first few weeks I was clinging to the bed for dear life all my body was going severely numb everywhere with the worst internal tremors. The huge rushes constantly one after the other. My heart was pounding constantly not just normal palpitations I had to hold something on it for weeks as it felt so horrendous. Diazepam didn't work nothing worked.

 

It feels like I've been injected with anesthetic everywhere.

 

All these symptoms happened at exactly the same time as whatever that 'thing' was that expanded in my brain.

Completely just stopped sleeping. Don't feel tiredness ever.

Don't feel hunger or fullness

Severe head pain and ringing in my head. Not tinitus as I get that aswell and its completely different 

Skin burning everywhere 

Skin numbness 

Walking changed

Severe tremors in ring finger and little finger on both hands 

Fine motor skills gone 

Nothing looks familiar. Me, my own family, my house nothing 

Vision change 

Constant worse than adrenaline rushes

All emotions and feelings just disappeared 

Hearing change 

No attachment to anyone or anything 

Clenching my jaw so tight my jaw pops out on the left side 

A feeling of all my insides severely clamping up

Don't feel hot or cold

Personality just went 

Internal tremors my entire body feels like its vibrating

Twitching all over

Parkinson's face I physically can't move my own face

Memory loss

Bladder and bowel change

Can barely speak 

If I close my eyes I get severe tingles all over my body

Practically mute

I physically can't change my voice I can't shout or scream 

Severe dry eyes, nose, mouth

No thoughts

Complete loss of intelligence 

Theres so many horrific symptoms.

My brain physically hurts and just feels dead in places.

I'm absolutely screaming inside but my face and voice physically will not change 

 

As soon as it happened I said I feel like I've been poisoned and it feels like neurons have stopped and theres no activity. I feel like my brains damaged. The feelings and pains in my brain are absolutely disgusting. I have no words for any of it. I've never mentioned brains, neurons nothing in my entire life.  

 

Every second for me is unliveable.

 

To feel something expanding in their own brain and simultaneously have things stop in their brain and things happen in their body at exactly the same time.

 

There really are no words to describe how inhumane and disgusting and of this was.

 

I was a happy person, always laughing, joking, loved my life, loved my job. I have an 8 year old daughter who has lost her mother.

 

My parents are elderly and I should be looking after them and burying them not the other way around.

 

How can this happen. How can it be allowed to happen. How can 7 10mg tablets cause such an inhumane severe reaction.

 

What the hell was that that went into my own brain and expanded.

 

We don't understand any of it. Surely it can't have been air or fluid as it would have killed me instantly. 

We've looked at NMS, neurotoxicity, was it excitotoxicity. Like the doctor said I will never know. Something went badly and severely wrong here and me and my family are paying dearly.

 

What did it damage to give me 50 plus symptoms at exactly the same time that will not go away.

 

I know amitriptyline works in your peripheral and central nervous system and I had the most severe indescribable reaction in both at the same time.

 

This has completely ruined me on every level. 

Me and my mum and husband have searched and searched for anything like this for months and can't find anything. We don't search anymore.

 

I've contacted neurologists, psychiatrists, doctors- No one knows and no one can help.

 

I've cried and cried to my own doctor. I said whatever this was it has left me in an unliveable state. My only option will be to apply for dignitas and he said theres no tests for this, there is no cure for this, that I've had a extremely severe and rare reaction. He said I am 'unlucky' and that he 'understands' when I mentioned dignitas. He said I will never have any answers.

 

This is beyond criminal. It's made a normal happy 40 year old woman sound like shes crazy telling what happened to her.

 

I kick myself every second. I've ruined my life and made it unliveable. My daughters life, my poor mums life. My family were my absolutely world. For 7 tablets to do this to look at my own family and feel nothing. Everything was took away from me in the space of 1 second. I can't find another reaction like it anywhere.

 

The reaction was inhumane and every second after has been too.

 

Theres no way I can prove any of this there will be absolutely no justice for me. No one should ever ever have to experience any of it.

 

I can't tell the rest of my family what happened to me, I can't tell my work, friends no one. How absolutely ridiculous and crazy do I sound and I'm aware of that. Never in a billion years would I ever have thought anything like this would be possible. 

 

Whether people believe me or not that's exactly what has happened. No catastophising, no exaggerating, no nothing.

 

How I wish I could go back and not take them I would be the same, normal happy person I'd always been for 40 years living the other half of my life as I should have been.

 

I know theres no recovery from this, how in the world does someone recover from that. I can't heal my own brain and nervous system from something like that for love nor money.

 

I'm fighting with everything I have every second of every day. Nothing improves but how could it. How could I possibly fight that. I had absolutely no chance.

 

So that's why I dropped off the face of the earth in October 22.

 

All I want to do is live as I was. I can't in this state it would be impossible. I didn't know suffering like this existed. All thanks to 7 tablets for pain. 

 

I will be laid on my deathbed twitching and tremoring in severe pain with the most indescribable head pain and loud ringing in my head not being able to remember or feel anything for my own family or 40 years of my life. 

 

Thanks to my doctor who I trusted with my life. Thankyou for damaging my brain, body, face, life. Look where that got me.

 

Thank you to anyone thats read all the way through. I wish you all well in your recoveries, and appreciate the support you have previously given to me.

 

I've had an amazing life for 40 years unfortunately the next 40 have been robbed from me in the most inhumane and cruel way possible. 

 

Love and best wishes to all 

Take care 

Sally xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kostas]

So sorry reading your incredible experience with this drug !

 

whatever words trying to find ,to comfort you ,looks very hard ..

 

What can I only say ,is try not to give up ,for the sake of your loving family and your daughter..

 

You can never know how the future could turn out .

 

Sometimes,  as suddenly these symptoms appeared, could as suddenly fade out...

 

It has happened to me ,when I was in the middle of despair with my unexplained symptoms during wd !

 

Please take care ,and may the spirit of Easter to give you some comfort..

Kostas 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Wardy4022]

Thankyou for reading my story and for the kind words Kostas.

 

I just want to get better but I don't know how 😪

 

The doctor didn't tell me it was an antidepressant. Having successfully come off citalopram in May I wouldn't have took them.

 

I wish I had googled them. I didn't even read the leaflet.

 

So this is my fault.  

 

Now I've got to pay the price of that mistake with the next 40 or 50 years of my life 😭

[Altostrata]

On 12/27/2022 at 2:27 PM, Altostrata said:

It appears amitriptyline does not get along with you, and you had an adverse reaction to it in October, rather than withdrawal syndrome. See Adverse reactions to an antidepressant within a few doses -- how long for recovery?

 

Did you find diazepam helpful?

 

@Wardy4022 did you see this? It would not be unusual for someone who had an immediate adverse reaction to a psychiatric drug to still have symptoms a year later. Recovery is like protracted withdrawal syndrome, it can be very slow and gradual.

[Wardy4022]

Thank you Altostrata. I've been reading it again.

 

All I hope is for a window soon, this is too much.

 

I'm not sure what to put in the search bar to check what these symptoms are that I have but I just don't feel like myself at all.

For 40 years whenever I've been ill  I've always felt like me just ill.

My mind, sensations, when I'm doing anything, talking, just sat on the sofa just doesn't feel like me and how its felt for the past 40 years if that makes sense. I don't know what this is. My house or outside just doesn't seem the same. Nothing is as it was if you know what I mean.

 

Also my memories just come up in visual constantly. Just like a snap shot a photograph. Quickly and continuously one after the other. 

 

I have no thoughts flowing like they used to come through. Just loud and fast internal monologue that I can't even control. I can't concentrate on things because of this continuous loud monologue. (Its my internal monologue like when you are reading. Not hearing voices or anything)

 

If anyone has had/heard anything like these that could help?

 

These drugs are evil 😭 feel like my brain, body and mind aren't even mine anymore. 

 

X

 

 

[Altostrata]

On 4/12/2023 at 9:30 AM, Wardy4022 said:

My mind, sensations, when I'm doing anything, talking, just sat on the sofa just doesn't feel like me and how its felt for the past 40 years if that makes sense. I don't know what this is. My house or outside just doesn't seem the same. Nothing is as it was if you know what I mean.

 

Also my memories just come up in visual constantly. Just like a snap shot a photograph. Quickly and continuously one after the other. 

 

I have no thoughts flowing like they used to come through. Just loud and fast internal monologue that I can't even control. I can't concentrate on things because of this continuous loud monologue. (Its my internal monologue like when you are reading. Not hearing voices or anything)

 

Please explain more about this. How has this changed in the last 2 months?

 

On 11/26/2022 at 2:51 PM, getofflex said:

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

How much of each of these are you taking, at what times of day?

[Wardy4022]

Thank you for the response. I'm sorry for the late reply.

 

I take -

 

Omega 3 at lunch time 2,200mg 

 

And

 

Magnesium about 6pm 516mg

 

I'm struggling so bad and I don't know how I get through this. It's beating me to the ground and I haven't got the fight left.

 

The constant one after the other chemical rushes, at anything a memory, something on a kids TV program, music, normal people, even breathing it's not even like normal anxiety because my heart doesn't beat faster I can't feel it beating. Every single thing is a trigger because it reminds me what I've lost. Everything is so loud. Even my tiny little hamster moving around send these rushes into my chest one after the other.

 

Nothing is altering the symptoms have been constant from the reaction to now. No fluctuations and not 1 going away. 

 

It's like I'm not looking out of the same eyes and body as I have for the past 40 years. I'm not the same the world isn't the same my family look different and the no emotions in my brain and body like there's zero chemicals, can't even feel my own muscles. I always had aching muscles and sciatica and IBS can't feel any of it now nothing is working.

 

The no flowing thoughts and hypnogogic hallucinations every time I shut my eyes that triggers the rushes. It's like memories come up in snapshots or a short moving video clip. Constant loud internal voice just going over the same thing since this happened. I cant just listen to stuff. Even with the headphones on I can't just listen. The voice is just going on and on and I can't stop it.

 

I wonder if they've sent me physcotic and given me catatonic depressed.

 

It's like I'm not controlling it and I just have to listen. It's like there was no before. I cant plan a minute Infront. All there is is this moment now.

 

I used to be so organised and remembered everything that was going on for months Infront, at home, work, school. There's absolutely nothing in there now. I live in the second I'm in.

 

When I was 15 an older boyfriend got me on heroin. 

At age 20 I got on a methadone program but still used heroin at the same time.

At age 21 I'd had enough, I was so sick of that life that I cold turkeyed them both.

 

I flung myself around my bedroom in the most excruciating pain I'd ever experienced. The vomiting, wretching, gut ache, back pain, sweating and insomnia!

 

I used to have to crawl to the toilet on my hands and knees I couldn't lift myself up. I couldn't have the light on or open the curtains my eyes streamed.

 

I had dealers knocking on my bedroom window waving it in my face saying I could have it for free. Every single time I said no.

There wasn't one second of doubt that I couldn't do it. I always knew I would.

 

For the next year I never went out except with my mum so I could break the circle with my aquantances. By that time there would be new dealers and addicts. I wouldn't know them and they wouldn't know me. My mum used to drive me round for hours as the car vibration eased the back pain.

 

But through it all I was always me, the same personality, same full emotions, same sense of humour same everything.

 

After that year I started going out again, got a job and worked hard to build the life I wanted and dreamed of and I got it.

 

Fast forward to age 40 and 7 prescription tablets of the poison that is amitriptyline have absolutely destroyed me.

 

I have no personality. Used to love coffee, not even wanted one since, terrified of spiders, wouldn't move if one crawled on me now, no feelings for my family which kills me the most. To look at them and feel absolutely nothing. I barely recognise my own house. I struggle to play a simple board game. I shuffle round wrapped in a blanket but I don't even feel comfort. Being inside or outside makes no difference as I can't feel hot cold or breeze. Can't even feel the clothes on my body. I've lost all intelligence. I just wander around with no purpose, no expression, thoughtless, emotionless, no opinions, mute. I've no connection to time, days, weeks, seasons. I don't understand people's facial expressions. I don't understand sarcasm or humour. No hunger or thirst. I cant feel when I need the toilet and end up weeing myself. I'm 41 years old. It's all second to second struggling with no fluctuations in the symptoms. There all the same 24/7. Just severe internal terror where I want to scream and shout but my face and voice is as dead as my feelings. My body and head just feel hollow, no weight to anything and I can't feel my feet on the ground.

 

I was a head housekeeper at work before this. It's brutal physical work. I'd drag an entire 80 bag delivery of linen across the hotel on my own and put it away and then go on to help with cleaning all the rooms. The day before this reaction. 

 

I'd chose acute heroin withdrawal every day for 2 years straight over whatever this is.

This suffering is beyond anything I ever knew possible. I'd love to feel sorry for myself and cry but I can't even do that.

That's how messed up their prescription 'safe' poisons are.

 

My husband has to bath me because I just stand at the bath not knowing what to do. while I sit in the bath terrified, terrified that I don't recognise my own bathroom, terrified of the water being on me, terrified that I can't feel if the water is hot or cold. I can just about dress myself if my clothes are put Infront of me but I can't get my things together. I don't know how to or where to get things from in my own house.

 

I just sit gormless and staring into space with nothing left, except a constant inner voice repeating the same thing and loud ringing in my head and a severely burning body. My poor mum is here every single day without fail. She's in her 70s. She's always made everything better but I can't even feel her love and comfort. 

 

I have to shuffle outside and I just sit staring at the floor with the continuous inner voice for hours because I don't understand conversations and any amount of noise is too overwhelming.

 

Sometimes if my mum is in another room I forget she's here. Same with my husband and daughter. If I can't see or hear them I forget that they're here.

 

To think the day before my reaction I was managing my own department at work, fiercely independent, running a house and a family. I never asked anyone for anything. I was a good person. I was generous and would go without myself to give to others.

 

I've tried limbic system retraining but I can't understand what they're saying. I cant follow. 

 

I cant comprehend anything.

 

I've had to stop replying to my text messages because I'm not sure what people are putting or what they're asking or the meaning of things and I've no idea what to put. I used to talk about everything and anything. I'd ring my mum about 3 times a day even when I'd already seen her that morning. 

 

Every time I re read this message it's like reading it for the first time. I cant remember what I've put the line before.

 

What a joke.

 

41 years old disabled and like a dementia patient. Beyond cruel that it's come to this. Torturous every second in your own brain and burning body and face so severe you can't even feel your own skin. 

 

I couldn't even manage to get some butter on a knife.

 

Emptying the dishwasher is too overwhelming. 

 

My doctor should be locked up for this. It's like 40 years of me have been erased from my brain.

 

Sorry for the moan and my life story that nobody asked for.

 

I know no one can do anything and I'm not asking a question that anyone can help with. I probably just repeat myself all the time. I do wish I had something positive to say unfortunately it's just not happening for me. 

 

If there's another side of this for me to get out of I swear to god I'm going to devote every day of the rest of my life to raising awareness about every one of these poisonous, dangerous drugs and that Doctor is going to wish she'd never been born.

 

None of us deserves any of this.

 

All i can manage to say to anyone is I will get better won't I or what if I'm stuck like this or what if I never feel feelings ever again, I'm going to die on my own in this state and the most popular that was it for me I died in October didn't I.  I'm so sick of myself, god knows how my family that have to look and listen to me feel. This isn't me at all. 

 

One day it's going to be looked back on that these medications were one of the biggest crimes against humanity that there ever was.

 

X

 

 

 

 

[Catina7]

I am so saddened to read about what has happened to you @Wardy4022.  At least you are among people here and in your other group that can understand and support you.  Something may have "switched" in your brain, but you may just need lots of time to heal and recover.  Don't ever lose hope that recovery is possible for you.  You have made it this far.  Keep doing your research and implement as many coping skills as you can to help you endure.  You're not alone....many others have experienced similar things and have recovered.  Have you ever read any of the success stories on this site?  They can remind us that there can be something wonderful waiting for us in the future if we just hang in there.

 

Sending you a huge cyber hug and warm healing thoughts...

 

Catina ❤️

[Wardy4022]

Thank you Catina, that's really kind and I appreciate the support ❤️

 

 I do look at the success stories and keep reading a couple in particular. I'm just so so tired of this, every day I say I've suffered enough. It can't be the end for me surely not like this xx

 

[Altostrata]

As explained earlier, it's quite common for people to experience an emotional anesthesia after taking antidepressants.

 

On 5/14/2023 at 5:59 PM, Wardy4022 said:

I take -

 

Omega 3 at lunch time 2,200mg 

 

And

 

Magnesium about 6pm 516mg

 

We recommend 3,000-4,000mg omega-3 fish oil. This is often 6 capsules, take 2 at each meal.

 

Magnesium is best taken in small doses throughout the day.

[sammahjih]

Hi, I had to make an account to reply to this. I had the same sensation of something ‘snapping’ in my head as you say. I wish I knew what it was but since there’s nothing I can do about it, I just have to be strong and don’t allow the anxiety to become overwhelming.

 

I mean some people die suddenly, at least I’m not dead right? Just have to look on the upsides.

 

Other than that episode of the strange snapping sensation the rest of my symptoms seem consistent with withdrawal like what other people here post about. 

[Wardy4022]

So every medical professional I've spoken to is telling me what's wrong with me is psychological.

 

What's that even mean?

 

That I've mentally created all the symptoms and severely disabled myself from one minute to the next of a severe physical reaction and mentally left myself in severe pain and suffering.

 

I don't understand.

 

I would do if they hadn't destroyed my brain and any intelligence I might have had with their poison.

 

I give up. 

 

It's not physcological is it?

 

 

[Catina7]

3 hours ago, Wardy4022 said:

It's not physcological is it?

 

No...not a chance!  You know yourself better than anyone; I don't care how many letters they have behind their name!  They are the delusional ones.

[Altostrata]

This site exists because medical professionals know very little about withdrawal or tapering.

[Wardy4022]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

This site exists because medical professionals know very little about withdrawal or tapering.

Honestly I've never heard anything like it in my life what they're coming up with, I've had it's depression, a mental breakdown and also childhood trauma as well, I've never had any trauma!!! Also a new complex severe mental illness and it's phycological. Couldn't possibly be the medication. 

 

I was only put on it for pain. Now I've got all the above apparently and need to see a phyciatrist! Unbelievable

[Wardy4022]

On 5/23/2023 at 10:43 PM, Catina7 said:

 

No...not a chance!  You know yourself better than anyone; I don't care how many letters they have behind their name!  They are the delusional ones.

They're a joke. Hope you're ok. I tried to read a bit on your thread. Hope you stabilised for now and are doing well xx

[Wardy4022]

On 5/18/2023 at 6:44 PM, sammahjih said:

Hi, I had to make an account to reply to this. I had the same sensation of something ‘snapping’ in my head as you say. I wish I knew what it was but since there’s nothing I can do about it, I just have to be strong and don’t allow the anxiety to become overwhelming.

 

I mean some people die suddenly, at least I’m not dead right? Just have to look on the upsides.

 

Other than that episode of the strange snapping sensation the rest of my symptoms seem consistent with withdrawal like what other people here post about. 

Hey,

 

Did you have the snapping thing before the other symptoms came on?

 

Hope you're getting on ok. Not sure what you were on or for how long but I hope you're symptoms aren't too severe and don't last too long for you.

 

Best wishes in your recovery 

 

[Altostrata]

4 hours ago, Wardy4022 said:

Honestly I've never heard anything like it in my life what they're coming up with

 

You don't have to agree with them. They're just guessing.

[Catina7]

6 hours ago, Wardy4022 said:

They're a joke. Hope you're ok. I tried to read a bit on your thread. Hope you stabilised for now and are doing well xx

 

Aww thank you for your post.  I was doing well up until a week ago and then I started having some headaches and nausea.  Hope it clears up soon.  This Effexor is the DEVIL!!!  I hope you continue to hold on as best as you can too.  We're all in this thing together!  

[sammahjih]

I will make my own topic at some point just really not feeling up to it yet. But brief history is I was on sertraline since 2015 and switched to escitalopram in  2020. I’ve been off it completely from quite a fast taper, I’ve come to learn, late 2022.

 

I had symptoms before yes. It was exactly as you described. An ‘uh-oh’ moment, it felt like something very bad happened in my brain. I can’t tell whether it was serious or just a serious attack on the nervous system, and of course that would ‘feel’ very bad. Like these withdrawals feel bad so when taken to the extreme maybe they feel like something super bad happened in the brain. Either way what’s done is done and I’m taking it super easy from now on (I was pushing myself through the symptoms before that episode happened)

 

I still feel unable to really function, knowledge exists in my head so I have hope for recovery, but the function of my brain and ability to perform tasks and plan ahead is virtually non-existent. It’s been a couple of weeks since it happened. But symptoms where I felt depersonalised and very strange were present a month prior to that.

[sammahjih]

I have a feeling what happened to you is related to the 5 year citalopram and coming off of that. And the amitriptyline triggered an adverse reaction because of that. My adverse reaction occurred after my taking 30mg citalopram to try and alleviate wd symptoms (I’ve now read here thats not recommended at all, it would usually be recommended to reinstate at a very low dose) 

[Altostrata]

@sammahjih this is Wardy4022's Introductions topic. We can better respond to your concerns in your own Introductions topic, after you start one.

[Wardy4022]

11 hours ago, sammahjih said:

I have a feeling what happened to you is related to the 5 year citalopram and coming off of that. And the amitriptyline triggered an adverse reaction because of that. My adverse reaction occurred after my taking 30mg citalopram to try and alleviate wd symptoms (I’ve now read here thats not recommended at all, it would usually be recommended to reinstate at a very low dose) 

Yeah I agree. I don't think I would have had such a severe reaction to the amitriptyline had I never been on the citalopram. I didn't have one negative symptom on the citalopram and I didn't have one single withdrawal symptom coming off.

 

Knowing what I know now, that was lucky.

 

Not one brain zap nothing. Perfect for months.

 

I wouldn't have had one fault to say about my antidepressant experience. 

 

Took the amitriptyline and that was that my luck ran out in a spectacular fashion. Biggest mistake I ever made.

[Wardy4022]

14 hours ago, Catina7 said:

 

Aww thank you for your post.  I was doing well up until a week ago and then I started having some headaches and nausea.  Hope it clears up soon.  This Effexor is the DEVIL!!!  I hope you continue to hold on as best as you can too.  We're all in this thing together!  

It will do. Get plenty of rest if you can and be gentle with yourself, it will pass xx

[Wardy4022]

I'm having a really distressing symptom.

 

It's just a constant loud inner voice and it says things I would never have said or thought.

 

Stuff like because I have no feelings I don't love my family, I must hate them. Just horrible stuff. It says I'm not bothered about anything and not bothered about my family. It says just let them go to someone who will love them.

 

This isn't me I was the best mum.

 

I don't know what is happening 😭

 

And the worst I have no emotion about it. No physical feeling no sadness just completely devoid of emotions.

 

What if they are my thoughts and this is me now 😭 it's so distressing what if my mind and brain is just changed.

 

It's like my head is silent and empty of flowing thoughts, just nothingness except there's just this constant inner voice.

 

I cant stand this. 

 

I try all sorts and I just can't control it.

 

If this is me now and how I've been left I can't do it.

 

I've no connection to anyone or anything. Don't recognise my reflection. No connection or feelings to my own face, body or family or house. No connection or feelings to any of my stuff. I don't even recognise anyone.

 

I'm just horrified and I don't know what to do. 

[Catina7]

I am so saddened to hear about what you're going through.  I'm no expert, but my understanding is that your symptoms WILL get better over time, but it can take many months.  

 

Your life is worth fighting for, and this is definitely a fight, but I know that if you can keep hope alive and be patient then things WILL improve over time!  

 

Hang in there!!!