shadowstorm: Pristiq (Desvenlafaxine) Withdrawal

[shadowstorm]

Does this living hell of antidepressant withdrawal ever cease? I was prescribed Pristiq just before the age of 14 - I'm 19, turning 20 this year - and have been on a high dose of 150mg for quite some time. I had also been prescribed 2.5-5mg Olanzapine for insomnia (which I've now cut out completely) & 30-40mg Vyvanse (I'm currently on 30mg & hope to eventually taper off that too).

 

I feel so freaking betrayed by the psychiatrists - the root cause of my low mood, self harming behaviours & suicidality was never investigated and almost instantly I was fast-tracked to antidepressants without being warned of the consequences. A young teen experiencing emotional pain, I wanted a quick fix, but little did I know that drugs would never resolve the depression caused by social isolation, loneliness, puberty, & other temporary life stressors.

 

I was put on Olanzapine during an inpatient admission for suicidal ideation in 2017 & again, I wasn't told about any of the side effects, including rapid weight gain. I hated that drug; I gained 5kgs during that short hospital stay, and this was a huge shock - it didn't register that this was because of the antipsychotic until years later. When I started restricting my food intake to try & get back to my initial weight, I was told I had 'anorexia' (without being assessed), thrown back into psych, then outpatient 'treatment'  which honestly only did more harm.

 

I didn't realise how harmful psychotropic drugs can be & the lack of evidence behind them, until mid 2022, when I quit the Olanzapine cold-turkey and began to experience awful withdrawal symptoms - I was suddenly bursting into tears for no reason, hyperventilating & had no sleep for days on end. I had no idea what was happening & during one of these panicky breakdowns, I started researching, which led me to a bunch of comment threads of fellow withdrawal sufferers warning others about these drugs- and then this forum. 

 

Shortly after, I decided I wanted to get off all my medication altogether & started to reduce the Pristiq dosage too in about June-July 2022 (I reinstated part of the Olanzapine after quitting cold-turkey & am now off it - but rely on 4mg of Melatonin that doesn't always get me to sleep). It was incredibly difficult & the decline in my functioning was so obvious. My creativity fizzled out completely, I feel completely numb all the time, no motivation, no desire for friendships or relationships & I can't find enjoyment in anything. I don't even feel like a person anymore - my personality is dead, I have no hobbies, I can hardly ever get myself to read a book (something I always loved to do), the few emotions I do experience are along the spectrum of irritability, despair, sadness and complete apathy. I have no idea what to do with my life, I don't even know who I am now or what interests me, because nothing does. I hate this dull nightmare- I want it all to end. 

 

There isn't anyone in my life who understands this struggle - the GP told me that I could taper by alternating doses (thankfully I knew this was a bad idea from reading this forum). My psychiatrist told me I don't have to bother tapering & other clients of hers had dropped 50mg at a time without any issues - and also that the withdrawal I am experiencing is probably due to external factors rather than coming off the antidepressant I've been taking for 6 years. 

 

Unfortunately they don't have the 25mg Pristiq tablet where I live (in Australia), so I don't know how I'll cope when reaching lower doses. 

 

Has anyone else here been polydrugged at a young-ish age, and managed to recover & live a fulfilling life after withdrawal? How do you cope, and feel a sense of enjoyment, interest & purpose again?  

 

I'm really sorry for my self-pitying woe-is-me ramble- I've wanted to post an introduction for months but things have been hard 😕 Discovering this forum has been a lifesaver, and thank you so much for keeping it going. 

 

 

[Onmyway]

Welcome to SA @shadowstorm and thank you for creating your signature. 

I am so sorry that you were caught in the web of psychiatry at such a young age and I am so glad that you found us. We can help you in this process. 

 

Have you seen this thread already? 

 

Seems like you have made quite a substantial drop in December - I know you would like to get rid of these drugs sooner but slow is faster in this case and I'd encourage you to not go faster than 10% a month. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

 

There are many people here who have been polydrugged and who have recovered. Being drugged at a young age is not fun but you also have the advantage of getting off of these drugs at a young age when your brain is likely more resilient. I have no reason to suspect that you will not get through this and get back your joy and creativity. One of the silver linings of having done this at a young age is that you will learn ways to manage your emotions. 

 

I am struck by your resourcefulness and taking responsibility for your recovery and your understanding of the dynamics of psychiatry. 

You will do well in this process no matter how hard it is! Just slow and steady! 

 

OMW

 

PS. Any reason why you are tapering pristiq first before Vyvanse? Have you been diagnosed with ADHD or is it just another drug on the merry-go-round that they were trying on you and hoping it will do something? Sometimes antidepressants can activate people who then may go on to be diagnosed with ADHD but it could in fact be a side effect of the drugs. There is a good theory that the jump in bipolar diagnoses may be due to the increased prescription of ADs. (Robert Whitaker, The Emperor's New Drugs)

 

Edited January 25, 2023 by Onmyway

[shadowstorm]

On 1/25/2023 at 3:11 PM, Onmyway said:

Welcome to SA @shadowstorm and thank you for creating your signature. 

I am so sorry that you were caught in the web of psychiatry at such a young age and I am so glad that you found us. We can help you in this process. 

 

Have you seen this thread already? 

 

Seems like you have made quite a substantial drop in December - I know you would like to get rid of these drugs sooner but slow is faster in this case and I'd encourage you to not go faster than 10% a month. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

 

There are many people here who have been polydrugged and who have recovered. Being drugged at a young age is not fun but you also have the advantage of getting off of these drugs at a young age when your brain is likely more resilient. I have no reason to suspect that you will not get through this and get back your joy and creativity. One of the silver linings of having done this at a young age is that you will learn ways to manage your emotions. 

 

I am struck by your resourcefulness and taking responsibility for your recovery and your understanding of the dynamics of psychiatry. 

You will do well in this process no matter how hard it is! Just slow and steady! 

 

OMW

 

PS. Any reason why you are tapering pristiq first before Vyvanse? Have you been diagnosed with ADHD or is it just another drug on the merry-go-round that they were trying on you and hoping it will do something? Sometimes antidepressants can activate people who then may go on to be diagnosed with ADHD but it could in fact be a side effect of the drugs. There is a good theory that the jump in bipolar diagnoses may be due to the increased prescription of ADs. (Robert Whitaker, The Emperor's New Drugs)

 

 

Thank you so much for the welcome & reply Onmyway  I did read through some of that Pristiq thread a few months back, which was really helpful (and will probably revisit it soon).

 

I think it's where I got the idea to take multiple divided doses of Pristiq throughout the day (eg. I'm currently taking 50mg in the morning & 12.5mg in the afternoon)- I started to feel better in the evening after making this change.   

 

Yep, I have been diagnosed with ADHD (predominantly inattentive subtype - I've never really struggled with hyperactivity, more inactivity) & when I was put on Vyvanse in 2019, it really seemed to help me focus and achieve better at school.  But I'm hoping to eventually be able to come off it, and somehow utilise other strategies & live my life without being reliant on drugs. 

 

I guess I chose to taper Pristiq first because I was on a pretty high dose, and wasn't having any issues with mood. I figured I'd taper the drug I was benefitting from the most last (which was Vyvanse). 

 

I did notice that when I started to reduce the Pristiq dosage, it felt like my ADHD medication wasn't working as well - and when I mentioned it to my psychiatrist, she said that Pristiq can also act as a stimulant. (so what you said about antidepressants activating people certainly makes sense) 

[Onmyway]

Hi @shadowstorm, 

Have you considered splitting the Pristiq dose evenly? Or is the 50mg an extended release pill? How are you feeling now? 

 

I understand the reasoning why you would want to continue taking Vyvanse for now. And we definitely do not recommend tapering two drugs at a time unless you know how each separately affect your system so you can hold when your symptoms change.   Here is our guidance on tapering multiple drugs. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2207-taking-multiple-psych-drugs-which-drug-to-taper-first/

Some people do taper multiple drugs at a time, though at much lower decrements than 10%, see post below.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1070-taper-more-than-one-drug-at-a-time/

 

But I am glad that you are considering coming off of Vyvanse as the long term effects of those drugs are significant and there are safety issues with Vyvanse. When psychiatrists write about the long term effects of abusing these drugs and how bad they can be, it doesn't mean that these long term effects apply only to abusing them, the body and the brain don't know that you are taking them because they were prescribed or not. And these drugs help everyone to focus regardless of diagnosis so the fact that they are helpful does not necessarily mean that you need them in the future. There are many ways in which you can improve your focus. You can look for various things that might help you, work with a therapist and so on. And by the time that you are ready to come off of the drugs you will have had this arsenal of tools to deal with distraction.

 

Have you ever seen the book Indistractable by Nir Eyal? He posits that the reason why we get distracted is that we are trying to distract from rather than to something. Yes, TikTok or whatever flavor may be beckoning but it is some discomfort inside that is making us seek distraction and soothing, often an uncomfortable feeling, desire, demand etc. [It fits my own view of the world through IFS therapy] 

https://www.samuelthomasdavies.com/book-summaries/business/indistractable/  This summary is pretty good and has some tools as well.

You may of course find your own ways/techniques to help out. 

 

This is not to say that we don't all differ by the amount of focused attention that we can give various tasks in our life, we are all different, but you may not need to put your general health at risk by having to take these drugs to be able to live a decent life and achieve your goals

 

If and when you decide to taper other drugs we recommend tapering all psychoactive drugs in the same way that we taper ADs - in a hyperbolic fashion. Look up this paper on SSRIs. Similar curves exist for drugs impacting dopamine. 

https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Tapering-of-SSRI-treatment-to-mitigate-withdrawal-Horowitz-Taylor/66ca9b8b04113e1e45135818ced27b2c0ca049c0

 

OMW

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @shadowstorm

 

On 1/26/2023 at 10:33 PM, shadowstorm said:

Yep, I have been diagnosed with ADHD (predominantly inattentive subtype - I've never really struggled with hyperactivity, more inactivity) & when I was put on Vyvanse in 2019, it really seemed to help me focus and achieve better at school. 

 

But at the time, you were also taking olanzapine, is that correct? It seems odd that ADHD can even be diagnosed in someone taking a drug that causes....inattention, if not zombification.

 

On 1/26/2023 at 10:33 PM, shadowstorm said:

I did notice that when I started to reduce the Pristiq dosage, it felt like my ADHD medication wasn't working as well - and when I mentioned it to my psychiatrist, she said that Pristiq can also act as a stimulant. (so what you said about antidepressants activating people certainly makes sense) 

 

In what way did you feel your ADHD drug was "working" and in what way did you feel this effect changed when you reduced Pristiq?

 

This may provide a clue: Please put ALL your drugs in this Interactions Checker and post the report or a link to it in this topic.