Plowie78: My Experience CT Sertraline

[Plowie78]

Hey guys!

 

I have currently cold-turkey'd sertraline after a 'short' stint of 4.5 months on 25mg

 

The reason I decided to cold turkey was because of the emotional numbness and anhedonia that started at 4.5 months, I woke up one morning and it was all emotions turned off, extremely strange and very uncomfortable! so after around 4 days I quit cold turkey. From what I've read it was most likely a 'poop out' as my dose was small and I was on the drug for some time. 

I have been sertraline free for 7 weeks now and have had a myriad of symptoms 

First to be noticed was obviously the lack of emotions 
Second, to be noticed was sexual anhedonia or pleasureless orgasm which is extremely uncomfortable 

Thirdly was erectile dysfunction which seems to have completely subsided now and has even rebounded into an almost viagra like strength? (Very strange). 

The brain fog and other symptoms such as headaches have luckily subsided for me and I'm guessing it was so quick because of the low dose of sertraline I was on. 

 

So my two biggest remaining symptoms are the lack of emotion and pleasureable orgasm which I think is dopamine-related, I have regained my ability to feel kind of sad and I can cry but I'm unable to laugh 99% of the time and when I do laugh it doesn't feel right. 

 

At the start, everything lost its appeal but I can now get a basic appeal from something almost like an unconscious interest but nothing that bring happiness and joy. 

 

I know asking how long do you all believe I will recover is like asking how long is a piece of string but if anyone has any advice or ideas let me know! 

 

This whole experience has been completely awful and I would very much like to be able to feel like myself again 

 

What tips do you all have for me? 

 

I am fairly young (23) and male 

Would exercise help speed things along? 

What did your recovery feel like?

[Gridley]

Welcome to SA, Plowie78.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.  It's unclear from your post whether you were on the drug for 2.5 months or started having the emotional anesthesia at 4.5 months.  Could you please clarify?

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

The symptoms you describe are very typical withdrawal symptoms caused by your CT of Sertraline.  

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional …

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

Brain Remodelling 

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

It's extremely encouraging that your symptoms have begun to abate.   It's impossible to predict how long it will take for the symptoms to disappear, but let's hope that this happens soon.  Again, the fact that at 7 weeks out you're improving so much is a real cause for optimism.

 

In the interest of completeness, I wanted to mention that reinstatement of a very small dose of the same drug is the only known way to eliminate or mitigate symptoms.  The only other option is to wait it out.  If in the future you have an interest in reinstatement, let us know and we can suggest a dose.  My guess is that you will want to wait it out, but I wanted to present the option.

 

On 1/28/2023 at 2:03 AM, Plowie78 said:

At the start, everything lost its appeal but I can now get a basic appeal from something almost like an unconscious interest but nothing that bring happiness and joy. 

 

Again, these glimmerings are a great sign.

 

On 1/28/2023 at 2:03 AM, Plowie78 said:

Would exercise help speed things along? 

 

Likely not.  The only real cure is time.  We don't recommend strenuous exercise, as that's generally too much for those of us in WD.  Mild exercise like a gentle walk would be our recommendation.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium (glycinate is a good form) and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Add in one at a time and at a low dose in case you do experience problems.

 

While it is often a first response to stress to take a B-Complex, in withdrawal it can be overstimulating.

 

This is your introduction topic -- the place for you to ask questions, record symptoms, share your progress, and connect with other members of the SA community.  I hope you’ll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation.  I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but I am glad that you found us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 29, 2023 by Gridley

[Plowie78]

First I would like to thank you for your very detailed reply! 

 

I have since created a signature  

 

12 hours ago, Gridley said:

 It's unclear from your post whether you were on the drug for 2.5 months or started having the emotional anesthesia at 4.5 months

I started having the emotional anesthesia at 4.5 months, If I look back closely I was experiencing blunting but very minimally beforehand and mostly with negative emotions. 

 

I think an accurate way of describing how I'm feeling currently is Alexithymia

I can feel something but what it is I don't know?

 

and I often get the feeling of emotional exhaustion but after a very minimal emotional expression

I just generally have a low 'mood' I believe this is depression and my therapist who I see believes it is also

He has also stated how much he despises antidepressants for the majority of people and has seen far worse in his practise in terms of side effects and withdrawal 

[Plowie78]

Just an update 

The emotional numbing has seemed to have subsided, I've had windows and I'm not sure that this is one 

Generally, the feeling of a window has felt to myself as the 'lights' being switched back on and generally lasted for a few hours or so but this has lasted much longer 

 

Whereas this has come on very gradually and not as 'full' but my emotions are picking up in intensity as we go and I feel very emotional and upset 

which is a much-welcome change to the blandness I had been used to 

Something just feels different about how I feel right now than before 

We'll see how it goes

[Plowie78]

The emotional anaesthesia has since subsided but it fluctuates sometimes very rapidly leaving me with some awful feelings that I know are a part of withdrawal 

Ruminating thoughts on previous trauma etc just awful stuff but probably needed 

When I feel certain emotions I then forget what said emotion feels like till it's felt again which can fluctuate very rapidly, which makes sense considering emotions and memory are tied together very tightly in the brain 

 

Withdrawal is wicked and I have so much respect for every last person who has gotten through to the other side

[Plowie78]

Back in a wave again lol 

When in waves even though I am unable to access my emotions and that is distressing I get a sense that they are still there unconsciously in the way my body reacts and how i think, I don't think blank if someone is mean to me I will still think angrily or if someone is nice to me I think nicely and my body reacts as well 

[Plowie78]

Just an update that is more for my future self than anything and that I am forever grateful for this forum

The numbness is back but with a calm emotional undertone that is very hard to describe, I think I feel relaxed which is a great sign even if that's all I can feel for the moment 

 

I have noticed that the numbness is worse in the mornings and gets better as the day progresses into the night with hints of feelings or 'outlines' of feelings, I do feel alot more alert and less dazed and that is a positive

 

[Plowie78]

My orgasms are pretty much completely back to normal and have been for some time now, my short-term memory throughout this whole ordeal has been absolutely horrible almost like I've got dementia but what can I expect coming off a drug that effects literally every nerve in your body haha

The more I've been reading about withdrawal from other drugs such as meth, heroin and alcohol the more I'm beginning to see that what they experience and what we experience are almost identical minus the craving aspect even the timelines of recoveries etc it's pretty frustrating that we've been prescribed this medication and for the most part not given a heads up of ' oh hey yeah the withdrawal from this medication is like withdrawing from meth :)', so  we get all the bad parts of the drug withdrawal without any of the fun parts hahahahaha

I believe I have felt genuine happiness and peace today, anger still eludes me but I always had a problem accessing my anger and that led to problems in my youth as I was too afraid to fully express myself and got walked over until I could finally feel it. 

I can access sadness pretty consistently, it's not a 'deep' sadness but I can tear up

My nether regions are now working 100% 

The problem is my attraction isn't all there in my head? It's 100% there in my body but my head is still lagging behind, 

I can feel it fighting to come back though 

If anyone has any advice let me know

[Plowie78]

Probably a window but libido is coming back thank god!!!!😁

[Plowie78]

Libido and orgasms are getting better, emotions are very weird, I hit a big plummet in mood which I think is like a drug-induced depression from the withdrawal, I watched a video of my dead grandfather who I was close with and I just bawled my eyes out and even typing this I'm crying, I have never been depressed before in my life so I'm not sure if this is depression but it sure feels like how people explain it, just feeling like you're trapped under a heavy blanket, and I can feel this kinda blunted anxiety that comes with it too, I guess you can't have the good without the bad but jesus christ this is crazy 

I spoke to my dr the other day and actually got a diagnosis of Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, he believes I should be back to normal within the next three months and I'm desperately kinda hoping that that's true but asking how long will this take is like asking how long is a piece of string, it could be three months or three years and I have to accept that 

[Plowie78]

Another wave has hit the ship

Apathy anhedonia, emptiness etc

 

[Plowie78]

I feel like I'm kinda spamming this so I apologise to anyone who reads this but I am struggling at the moment, I've never been depressed before but I believe that the ssri's and the withdrawal have shoved me down into a chemical-induced depression, I'm crying all the time, my libido has improved which is a positive, but I just feel so bad idk how to describe it, dysphoric is maybe a word that can be used, I feel like I jump up and down randomly from feeling okay to feeling absolutely awful like my brain is so jumbled up, my emotions are blunted, I want to feel angry about this situation so bad but I can't, it's very frustrating 

I was diagnosed by my GP with protracted withdrawal so I'm lucky in that regard, he had never personally seen it but he had heard a lot about it and he referred me to a psychiatrist at a pretty good place in the city I live so that's a plus to be recognised and not put out but there is really not much that they can do anyway

I recently asked my father how he was when he came off his Lexapro, he was on Lexapro for depression back in 2009, he quit cold turkey for the same reason I did, the emotional numbing.
He said it took him around a year or two till he really felt like himself but he wasn't sure if it was due to his depression or the Lexapro.

We're now pretty sure it was due to the Lexapro 

Makes me wonder if there is some kind of genetic factor involved in protracted withdrawal, you can be certain that If I have children I am not letting them go anywhere near these drugs

This is all so interesting to me because I have never suffered from depression, sure I have been sad before, really sad and I suffer from C-PTSD and all the anxiety that surrounds it, that was my initial reasoning for being on sertraline but Jesus christ it's like I've traded one extreme for the other, my anxiety is gone but I'm majorly depressed, I would much rather be anxious!

[Plowie78]

Huge window in my emotional capacity, I can feel more and more, more 'alive', this is great!

[Plowie78]

Almost like a light switch, maybe this is dpdr, i'm seeing a psychologist who specialises in disassociation and somatic experiencing soon so maybe they will be able to help me, I feel more 'real' and more at the forefront of my mind 

[Plowie78]

I had a great day today!

[Plowie78]

It's hard to say what has changed, but it feels like my general anhedonia has started to fade, it's like things are far more interesting and life just seems 'brighter' 

[Plowie78]

Still getting better each day, it kinda feels like something clicked and the healing has sped up incredibly, I'm not exactly sure why but my anhedonia has gone away pretty much completely, my emotions are still strange but I'm getting feelings of motivation back and I care about things again!, craving certain foods etc , it's been nearly a week with improvements every day, I heard people talk about turning a corner and I think it's too early to tell but I believe that's what has happened 

Last night I spoke to my friend for around four hours just laughing laughing laughing and I loved it!

[CookiePretzel]

I’m rooting for you Plowie! Your journaling gives me hope. I was on Prozac for a year, then tapered for 5-6 months. I was actually doing ok at 4 months off and having week long windows, but I keep having accidental setbacks, like working out too much or too strenuous of a day. I feel like if I can stop having setbacks I’ll really see progress. I’m 5.5 months off. Looking forward to your next update

[Plowie78]

thank you @CookiePretzel :), I'm kinda horrified at how depersonalised I'd become while on the medication without me even realising it!, recently my anhedonia has gotten a lot better and my emotional range has opened up even more, I saw a psychiatrist today who acknowledged what had and is happening to me, he prescribed me a medication that could reverse some symptoms but it was really a stab in the dark , I was told to wait a further 6-8 months before starting it for natural recovery to take course as I have made significant progress since starting this journey and there is no way in hell I am taking another psychiatric medication anyway lol, I am basically in a wave today I believe, a bit dysphoric and kinda anhedonic but I have a significantly more emotional response so to feel something even if it is horrible is far better than being soulless, I have also found a therapist who specialises in something called somatic experiencing which I have read can have a really positive effect on withdrawal

I hope you're doing well cookie!

[Plowie78]

I wish good vibes to all the lovely people who are passing through!