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The psychology of withdrawal


dalsaan

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I dont want to go all psycho babble here but I have been trying to work on my own frustration with a slow withdrawal.

 

I know from experience that if I go too fast I get into trouble. This is not news to any of you or to me! But,

I still have to really discipline myself not to do it. And, I dabble with supplements a lot. Even when I get things

to a relatively good space, I cant help but push it further (to my detriment)

 

Basically, I find it very hard doing nothing (holding, letting things lie etc) I think this is because I associate my troubles

with the drug and just want to be off it. Also, I think I experience myself as being passive around this stuff

with my Dr (in the early days) and so I equate holding etc with doing nothing and therefore with passivity.

 

I tend to want to feel some sort of control in this and therefore research/read extensively, make regular changes - diet, supps etc

hold as long as I can but not long enough. I could claim the control by saying my body is dictating the terms of this but I dont.

 

Can anyone relate to this and what are some of the mindsets you have that might be less than helpful?

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Barbarannamated

Dalsaan,

 

I dont have what i think you're asking for, but I will offer that I've felt envious of those of you doing a slow, careful taper. I tapered Pristiq in a manner that I thought was careful before finding this site. Now I know it was very sloppy and too fast and I'm paying dearly in protracted withdrawal.

 

I'm sure others will have valuable insight for you.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Thanks barb, that's helpful in its own right. I am lucky in the sense that I have the opportunity to do this slowly. And I need to remember that

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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gosh dalsaan - that is so much like me!!!!

 

I feel very stable and so it is very, very hard to keep going slow. But when i hit that brick wall i always wish i could back pedal and go slower. I am now preparing my doses in 3 week bundles so i am less likely to make an extra cut.

 

I am not doing any supplements except fish oil and the occasional magnesium.

 

I can relate to the passivity, however at the same time i feel like I HAVE taken control (and you should too) by researching and finally understanding what has been happening to me - that is that my 'relapses' have actually been withdrawal - and i DON'T have to stay on medication forever - so in contrast to that slow taper is better. It's amazing to think that up to just two years ago i had dutifully drunk the kool aid and believed that i needed to be on medication forever.

Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)
Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months later
Back on effexor for another 9 months.
Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.
Back on effexor - this time for 3 years
Reduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.
Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorter
Jan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,
1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years....

4th  March 2015 - 67.5mg;   31st March - 60mg;  24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg;  9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg;  1st Dec - 25.8mg;  28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg

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Yes, the patience and discipline are very difficult to learn! Also that we aren't always in control of our fates, and doctors don't have all the answers, we're on our own.

 

Zen Buddhism has a lot to offer in teaching these lessons.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dalsaan, I can absolutely relate to everything you're saying. I think this is the hardest part about a slow taper.

 

And that's saying a lot, because hard as it is to deal with being patient with a process about as thrilling as watching paint dry, that's a heck of a lot easier than dealing with the ravages of a too-fast taper.

 

Here are the things that have helped me with it:

 

Focusing on other areas of my life besides the taper: At some point the taper became background and the rest of my life became foreground. I think this is easier when you get to low enough doses that the meds themselves aren't getting in the way of living your life. But there are things you can do even when the meds are messing with your head. Try a new hobby. Set yourself simple goals that you can actually enjoy achieving (like exercise goals, for example, or making a new friend, or learning a simple new skill). Find things that can give you a sense of progress and accomplishment in getting your life back, even very small things, so you can see that your life is getting better, measured in other ways than by those numbers on your taper.

 

Focusing on and celebrating intermediate milestones: Instead of making The Final End of the Taper be the goal, find intermediate goals to be excited about, and then really allow yourself to celebrate them. For example, hitting a whole number (like 3.0 instead of 3.1)--make it a celebration, take yourself out for dinner, get a massage, tell your family and friends, blow up balloons, have a party! Really congratulate yourself and allow yourself to enjoy and appreciate those steps.

 

Give yourself a "visual" of how far you've come: I measure out my doses by dissolving the tablets in water and then measuring out my dose for the day, so for me, the way the "visual" works is by looking at how much I get to throw away every day. Or how many more doses I'm getting out of one tablet than I used to (I dissolve a 10 mg tablet of Celexa, which used to be one day's worth, and now I'm getting three days of 3 mg doses out of that). Instead of focusing visually on what's left to go, I try to look at how far I've come. This may not work when you're early days yet, I don't know.

 

I hope those suggestions give you some ideas.

 

If it helps, too, let me add that now (after two and a half years of tapering multiple drugs) I feel SO much better than I did back when I was on those full high doses, even though I still have probably three more years to go before I'm off everything. I'm able to do things, feel things, enjoy things that were out of reach two years ago. I'm slowly getting my life back, after 20 years of it being ruined by psych drugs. It's slow, but it's progress. You really have a lot to look forward to WAY before the end of your taper.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhi, that was a great post!

 

Thanks for your wonderful insight.

 

When i thought i was staying on meds for at least a long, long time - taking them WAS in the background. I think i have been really lucky, because i didn't had any major problems with ongoing side effects (except stuffing up libido) and, whilst not being able to cry at sad movies i thought my emotions were 'all there'. I guess i hadn't reached poop out.

 

So, my drive to get off has more been because i wanted to and i don't like being reliant on a little capsule filled with little white beads. Now, my drive to get off is because i know more about what they have done to my brain and i want to get it out of me before any more damage is done - but i also understand that going slow prevents damage as well.

Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)
Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months later
Back on effexor for another 9 months.
Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.
Back on effexor - this time for 3 years
Reduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.
Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorter
Jan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,
1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years....

4th  March 2015 - 67.5mg;   31st March - 60mg;  24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg;  9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg;  1st Dec - 25.8mg;  28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg

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I completely relate to this thread. The need to be in control of the process. But I think after my recent drop (5 to 4mg of remeron) I will find the patience. My problem is that I have 13 years of paxil use that I am now in protracted withdrawal from complicating whatever it is the remeron is doing or not doing. If I go too fast with the remeron everything falls apart. I have been to 5mg once before and I screwed that up. I really thought I could estimate my doses. I have been weighing now with this reduction and I have gone from 15mg to 5mg in 4 months with no real major issues. I think I will stay at 5mg for now.

 

But it is hard to not attribute my paxil waves to remeron. I just want off. I hope that remeron will be easy and gradual compared to the paxil withdrawal.

 

Alto seems to like to ask the question whether the new drug covered up the protracted withdrawal. I don't think that really ever works. Remeron got me sleeping and that was about it. Things went from bad to worse at 7 months off paxil and continued to get worse through month 14. 95% of my symptoms have been emotional. Very few physical symptoms other then fatigue.

13 years paxil 20mg. Quit 5/5/11 after one year at 10mg. Started 15mg remeron 8/1/11. Tapered from 15mg at 1mg every two weeks since April. Currently at 3.8mg.

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I can relate. I hate the idea of holding for long periods of time, but it's what I have to do to get stable.

 

When I actually start tapering I'm going to use the micro-taper method, which allows you to make smaller cuts more often. I think this is better for me psychologically because it seems like you're actually "doing" something more often, rather than just sitting still, even though it may ultimately take the same length of time as a regular taper.

2003-2011: Paroxetine,Citalopram,Effexor; Aug/Sept 2011: Effexor to Mirtazapine; Oct 2011: C/T Mirtazapine back to Effexor; Nov/Dec 2011: Fast Tapered Effexor - w/d hell; Feb 2012: Reinstated Effexor 37.5mg; June 2012: Dropped to 35.6mg; Jan 2016: Propranolol 2.5mg per day for general anxiety; Feb 2016: Finasteride 0.25mg per week to slow hair loss; 18th May - 8th June 2019: Started Vyvanse 7.5mg and increased by 7.5mg weekly to 30mg (lowest “therapeutic” dose for adults).; 21st June 2019 - 12th July: Cross tapered from venlafaxine brand Rodomel to Efexor (1/4 > 1/2 > 3/4 weekly before ditching Rodomel); 13th July 2019: Cut Vyvanse dose to 15mg; 15th July 2019: Akathisia returned after years of being free; 16th July 2019: Went back up to Vyvanse 30mg

Supplements: Omega-3, Vitamin D, Zinc, Phosphatidylserine 

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I can relate. It's our nature to stop doing something that is harming us. It goes against our instinct to keep taking it after we see how it's hurting us. It's very hard to do a slow taper. I keep pushing it too. I've started and stopped my Xanax taper countless times, thinking I can get away with doing it an easier way. Even after all I went through with the Paxil. I just want to be done with it. But yes, we have to take it easy and be patient. Difficult.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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I am an excrutiatingly slow taperer and Rhi's post is excellent, especially about not letting it take over your life, you just have to kind of keep it ticking away in the background while you get on with your life.

I'm lucky that I have a very supportive husband who has seen the whole process with me and he holds me back from dropping if the time isn't right. Sometimes we disagree though because I want to get to the next drop, but he worries and cares.

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Having just read this post by xdebbiejo

 

"I've decided I have not got any WD symptoms !

I'm just exhausted from working all hours day and night lol

Had a long sleep this afternoon and feel sooooooo much better :) "

 

I thought that is an idea for a new topic but I think it rather fits well here on this topic which I was just reading.

 

Confusing WD symptoms with every day normal life physical and emotional feelings as Debbie mentions in her post. I have also blamed WD symptoms when it was something else entirely. Recent example; for the last week or more I have had a lot of body pain and tension which certainly has affected my emotions/mood as well. But at some point I realized that it isn't due to withdrawal but that my body is out of alignment.

 

As our focus is on the withdrawal, our first thought with any symptom is to place the blame here. Rhi is right, we need to put withdrawal in its place and get on with other things so we are not overly focused on this one area of our lives.

 

So, the question is: Is what I am feeling really a withdrawal symptom or just another common reaction to everyday living.

In other words, people that are not going through withdrawal have their aches and pains and emotions too! Something to keep in mind.

I think! Too much!

Jan. 2009 150 mg. Venlafaxine

2012

5 June 112.5 mg. Venflx

25 June 75 mg. Venflx

8 July Fluox 5ML (0 Venflx)[/b]

10 July aprox. 20 mg Fluoxetine liquid, trouble measuring between 4 - 5 ml, 0 Venflx.

15 July Fluox 5 ML + Vnflx. 10 - 6 grains

24 July Fluox 5ML + 37.5 mg Venflx.

10 Aug Fluox 4.5 ML

13 Aug.Fluox 18 mg liquid; 18 Aug. Fluox 17 mg; 25 Aug. Fluox 16 mg;

2 Sept Fluox 15 mg; 10 Sept Fluox 14 mg; 17 Sept. Fluox 13.6 mg; 29 Sept. Fluox 13 mg.

7 Oct. Fluox 12 mg; 14 Oct. Fluox 11 mg; 21 Oct; Fluox 10 mg; 23 Oct. 9mg; 26 Oct. 8 mg.

21 Nov. 5 mg; 3 Nov. ZERO

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Excellent point, amg.

 

If you can't tell whether it's withdrawal or the stress of everyday life, do yourself a favor and manage the stress. This is an invaluable skill anyway.

 

Don't push yourself past your own limits, keep yourself feeling good, don't compare yourself to others, have faith in yourself that you're doing the best you can do.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

And really, things don't split up into neat, convenient categories in real life anyway. The biochemical and neurochemical processes that cause withdrawal symptoms are also involved in everyday aspects of our lives. Withdrawal can make it harder to deal with wobbles in life, and wobbles in life can make it harder to deal with withdrawal, and really it's impossible to draw a line and say precisely what's causing what.

 

I find it most helpful and useful for myself to consider withdrawal just another factor in the complex and constantly-changing algebra of my life, and to try to look at all the different factors and do the things that I know are good for my health (every aspect of health) as much as I can manage. (Some days that actually works. Most of the time I'm pedaling fast trying to keep up and having to leave something out--usually housework.).

 

But learning to cope and take care of myself and balance everything (well, working on learning that, still far from mastering it) is, like Alto points out, something I need to be able to do in life anyway.

 

I sort of manage withdrawal as if it were a chronic health condition that's always there, needing to be taken into account but not the center of my life, sometimes worse and sometimes better.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Having just read this post by xdebbiejo

 

"I've decided I have not got any WD symptoms !

I'm just exhausted from working all hours day and night lol

Had a long sleep this afternoon and feel sooooooo much better :) "

 

I thought that is an idea for a new topic but I think it rather fits well here on this topic which I was just reading.

 

Confusing WD symptoms with every day normal life physical and emotional feelings as Debbie mentions in her post. I have also blamed WD symptoms when it was something else entirely. Recent example; for the last week or more I have had a lot of body pain and tension which certainly has affected my emotions/mood as well. But at some point I realized that it isn't due to withdrawal but that my body is out of alignment.

 

So, the question is: Is what I am feeling really a withdrawal symptom or just another common reaction to everyday living.

In other words, people that are not going through withdrawal have their aches and pains and emotions too! Something to keep in mind.

 

 

I have been sounding off like a Blithering Idiot this morning on my post and another one I started.

 

I came to the conclusion this afternoon that I am having the confusion of dropping a dose with life's challenges. I have both, and it ain't a good mix.

 

As our focus is on the withdrawal, our first thought with any symptom is to place the blame here. Rhi is right, we need to put withdrawal in its place and get on with other things so we are not overly focused on this one area of our lives.

 

I tend to do the opposite. I blame everything on life. I don't know why.

 

Thanks for the posts....

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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for many of us we have been on meds for many years - i am going into my 14th year!!!! - My life has changed around me during that time, my children have all left home, some married with their own families, have been through menopause, retired from work, my body is 14 years older. So, we have to expect that our bodies and emotional life will be different than before we went on meds.

 

When i am feeling ok, i try everyday to say a prayer of gratitude for what i have. I make a point of focussing on the good, hoping that these actions help to reduce or even prevent the bad times.

Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)
Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months later
Back on effexor for another 9 months.
Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.
Back on effexor - this time for 3 years
Reduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.
Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorter
Jan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,
1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years....

4th  March 2015 - 67.5mg;   31st March - 60mg;  24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg;  9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg;  1st Dec - 25.8mg;  28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg

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I agree it's important to incorporate meaningful stuff into life. I've spent the last year focusing on my health, waiting to get better. Some times this was all I could do, and that's that.

 

Other times I let a sort of stinking thinking get in my head, that it was all or nothing. If I can't work a 40 hour job, I should do not try to work except on my health so that I am ready for that job. I've decided I still need to find other things to do, be it gardening or whatever, besides sitting on my hands getting well.

 

I intend to do no more postponement. Life must go on, as best it can. I think of what Einstein said about the simplicity of solutions and adapt it a bit to withdrawal.

 

... Make withdrawal as cautious as possible, but no more cautious than that.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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  • 5 years later...

I hear you. I have been slowly tampering for 2 years. Every drop in the dose feels like I am in control, until the side effects kick in and I feel like hell. My psychologist reminds me that the «  withdrawal me » is not really me.!It’s not my fault, even though I feel guilty for feeling like that. 

Without Cymbalta ( I am now at 5 mg), I feel naked all the time and it’s very scary. But I don’t feel numb, anxious and starving for bad food all the time. 

Cymbalta for 2 years, and Celexa for 8 years prior to that. I am trying to taper off, 1 bead at a time. I have been having extreme nausea, headaches and tiredness.
I began my tapering on February 1st, 2016. It took me until October 2016 to reduce to 30 mg.

June 3rd: I am now at 20 mg.

August 1st 2017: I decided I was going to go down to 10 mg. It is not going well. Barely no physical side effects, except for insomnia. I am feeling really down. I am debating whether or not I should go back on 20mg....

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