18yoldoffZoloft: I need serious help

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

 

March 15

 

9 am- woke up, inner anxiety

10 am- tried to go back to sleep makes anxiety worse

11 am- got up, used nicotine, heartburn

12 pm- strange good feeling washed over me, sense of calm

1 pm- inner anxiety but less, overall positive mood (probably a mindset thing)

2:30 pm- ate 

3 pm- inner anxiety, sleepy, lightheaded. need to lie down, heart racing

4 pm- head is burning, heart racing, out of breath,and im sitting down! feel mentally okay though?

5 pm- small hike, feel lightheaded, brain fog, body burns

6 pm- brain fog, bit of inner anxiety

7 pm-8 pm- brain fog

8:30 pm- ate dinner

9 pm- head burns

10 pm- chest pressure, burning still

10:30 pm- took 7.5 mg mirtazipine 

11 pm- 12 am- sleep

 

 

Hello, @18yoldoffZoloft

 

It appears you sleep well between about 12 a.m. and 9 a.m.?

 

How often per day do you use nicotine?

[getofflex]

I thought you quit the Zoloft in mid January. So please make your drug signature a lot more clear please because we really need to know the dates to give you the proper advice. You said you started it on December 30 for three weeks or so which would put you quitting it sometime in January which was only two months ago.  Please put the specific dates that you started and stopped the Zoloft  and also the dates that you did the two day reinstatement and the dose please.  We need this information as specific as possible in your signature box so that it appears with each and every post. Thank you
 

Yes you could also try 0.5 mg reinstatement as a test dose to see how your body reacts to that. If you do OK on that you can very gradually titrate up.

 

EDITED: never mind, about updating your signature, I see you did put the dates of the recent Zoloft reinstatement. That was only 2 months ago.  

Edited March 16, 2023 by getofflex

[18yoldoffZoloft]

6 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

Hello, @18yoldoffZoloft

 

It appears you sleep well between about 12 a.m. and 9 a.m.?

 

How often per day do you use nicotine?

I guess I do sleep well between those times! I use nicotine maybe twice every day maybe for the past 5 or so days. I used to use it obsessively some days for the past few months on days when I had really bad symptoms. 

[getofflex]

Hello, I see you responded to Altostrata's post, just as I was trying to edit my post.  So please check that post for edits.  Thanks.  

 

If it were me, I would refrain from using nicotine, and instead use non drug coping techniques to deal with the bad symptoms.  Nicotine is a psychoactive drug, and when our nervous systems are destabilized, such as yours is, this can have unpredictable effects, and could possibly further destabilize you and prolong the recovery process.  As long as you haven't been using it daily for any length of time, I'm giving this advice to you assuming you have not yet developed a dependence on nicotine, and that previous to the past 5 days, have not used it every day.  What were the symptoms for which you were using nicotine?  If you have been using nicotine daily for awhile, then disregard this advice.  We don't want to add a nicotine withdrawal on top of a Zoloft withdrawal. 

[getofflex]

Here is our topic on nicotine:

 

Nicotine in Withdrawal

[getofflex]

1 hour ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I don't know if this is something worth mentioning but I tried going back on Zoloft for two days mid-february, probably at like 25mg or 50mg

This is important, and needs to be in your drug signature.  

 

[Altostrata]

If you use nicotine twice a day, you're likely to have heartburn twice a day. Over time, nicotine damages the gut as well as lungs, fyi.

 

You had started 7.5mg mirtazapine for sleep, and it's helping you sleep. That is helpful. 

 

Otherwise, you'll need to let your system settle down from going off Zoloft (please do clarify the date). This can take months, but being able to sleep will assist.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

10 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Hello, I see you responded to Altostrata's post, just as I was trying to edit my post.  So please check that post for edits.  Thanks.  

 

If it were me, I would refrain from using nicotine, and instead use non drug coping techniques to deal with the bad symptoms.  Nicotine is a psychoactive drug, and when our nervous systems are destabilized, such as yours is, this can have unpredictable effects, and could possibly further destabilize you and prolong the recovery process.  As long as you haven't been using it daily for any length of time, I'm giving this advice to you assuming you have not yet developed a dependence on nicotine, and that previous to the past 5 days, have not used it every day.  What were the symptoms for which you were using nicotine?  If you have been using nicotine daily for awhile, then disregard this advice.  We don't want to add a nicotine withdrawal on top of a Zoloft withdrawal. 

I had used it on and off in the past while on Zoloft and wanted to quit using after I CT Zoloft in November. I started using again on Dec 25 and have been using it on and off since then due to stress of withdrawal. I use it kind of as a security blanket as after withdrawal I associated it with safety. I don't think it helped alleviate any symptoms whatsoever and still doesn't but I still keep using, although less than a couple weeks ago. So I have used it daily for days even weeks at a time some days just frantically using it when in panic. I know you wouldn't suggest trying to quit now but when I use it, it can make the burning worse so I'm not sure what to do. Should I try refraining for a couple of days and see what happens? If I know that quitting will help me recover I feel I can push through any hardships right now and stay away from it. 

[Altostrata]

Sorry, you'll have to find advice about how to quit nicotine elsewhere. We don't provide counseling for that.

 

I cannot predict if it will make your withdrawal symptoms better or worse. It will reduce adverse effects of nicotine use.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

4 hours ago, getofflex said:

This is important, and needs to be in your drug signature.  

 

Thank you, I updated my drug signature! Its in between the Mirtazipine info I hope that's not too confusing 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

19 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Sorry, you'll have to find advice about how to quit nicotine elsewhere. We don't provide counseling for that.

 

I cannot predict if it will make your withdrawal symptoms better or worse. It will reduce adverse effects of nicotine use.

Im going to quit using because whenever I use it the burning/tingling/numbing gets worse. I'll see what happens. 

 

March 16 

 

10 am- woke, burning 

11 am- used nicotine, numbing sensations all over especially in hands and feet 

12 pm- tingliness throughout body, burning, tinnitus 

1 pm- breakfast

2 pm- burning is extreme 

3 pm- showered, burning is less

5 pm- brain fog, mental/physical exhaustion, breathlessness 

6 pm- breathlessness, brain fog 

7 pm- breathlessness, brain fog 

8 pm- dinner

9 pm- burning is back, brain fog

10:28 pm- mg mirtazipine 

10:33 pm- heartburn, chest pain

11 pm- burning 

12 am- sleep

3 am- woke, went back to sleep

 

I'm going to keep making daily notes, it seems either I've had physical symptoms or mental symptoms or both these past couple of months. Physical symptoms ramp up sometimes but for the past couple of days they've been non-stop. The whole body numbing and burning, racing heart, breathlessness and brain fog mainly :(( Not sure why that happened but I know a lot of things that happen in this process are confusing. Even at night they haven't seemed to subside which is really concerning to me. For now I'm deciding whether I should try reinstating but I won't even be able to until next week so there is time to think. 

 

Is "withdrawal syndrome" the same as windows and waves? Or is it the symptoms that stay with you no matter if you're in a window/wave? I'm still a bit confused about that. Thank you again !

-Julia

[Altostrata]

You've only stopped the drug experiments a month ago. Please be patient and allow your nervous system to settle down.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 3/17/2023 at 11:03 AM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Im going to quit using because whenever I use it the burning/tingling/numbing gets worse. I'll see what happens. 

 

March 16 

 

10 am- woke, burning 

11 am- used nicotine, numbing sensations all over especially in hands and feet 

12 pm- tingliness throughout body, burning, tinnitus 

1 pm- breakfast

2 pm- burning is extreme 

3 pm- showered, burning is less

5 pm- brain fog, mental/physical exhaustion, breathlessness 

6 pm- breathlessness, brain fog 

7 pm- breathlessness, brain fog 

8 pm- dinner

9 pm- burning is back, brain fog

10:28 pm- mg mirtazipine 

10:33 pm- heartburn, chest pain

11 pm- burning 

12 am- sleep

3 am- woke, went back to sleep

 

I'm going to keep making daily notes, it seems either I've had physical symptoms or mental symptoms or both these past couple of months. Physical symptoms ramp up sometimes but for the past couple of days they've been non-stop. The whole body numbing and burning, racing heart, breathlessness and brain fog mainly :(( Not sure why that happened but I know a lot of things that happen in this process are confusing. Even at night they haven't seemed to subside which is really concerning to me. For now I'm deciding whether I should try reinstating but I won't even be able to until next week so there is time to think. 

 

Is "withdrawal syndrome" the same as windows and waves? Or is it the symptoms that stay with you no matter if you're in a window/wave? I'm still a bit confused about that. Thank you again !

-Julia

 

March 17

 

7 am- woke, went back to sleep

10 am- woke, sore muscles, tingles, no burning 

11 am- burning, numbing

12 pm- burning, numbing

1 pm- used nicotine, burning goes away but comes back

2 pm- burning, breathlessness 

3 pm- ate 

4 pm- burning is gone

5 pm- head feels like its pulling down to my chest

6 pm- physical symptoms gone 

7 pm- physical symptoms gone 

8 pm- slight headache, emotionless

9 pm- burning is gone, emotionless

10:15 pm- 7.5 mg mirtazipine, emotionless

11 pm- ate, emotionless

12 am- sleepy, emotionless 

1 am- sleepy

2 am- sleep

[getofflex]

On 3/17/2023 at 1:03 PM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Is "withdrawal syndrome" the same as windows and waves? Or is it the symptoms that stay with you no matter if you're in a window/wave?

Windows and waves are a normal part of withdrawal.  This means that we have ups and downs, where we feel better and worse.  See my first post with the link about windows and waves.

 

Have you tried any non drug coping techniques?  See my link on this in my first post.  You can also search your symptoms on the site, and find threads about the symptoms with ideas for coping with that specific symptom.  

 

How to Do a Site Search

 

I know this is scary and difficult!  Altostrata is right - patience is the key.  It takes a long time for the nervous system to repair itself.  In the meantime, try reading some of the success stories.  They are on the site's home page. Someday, you will recover, assuming you take proper care of yourself.   

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 3/18/2023 at 4:44 PM, getofflex said:

Windows and waves are a normal part of withdrawal.  This means that we have ups and downs, where we feel better and worse.  See my first post with the link about windows and waves.

 

Have you tried any non drug coping techniques?  See my link on this in my first post.  You can also search your symptoms on the site, and find threads about the symptoms with ideas for coping with that specific symptom.  

 

How to Do a Site Search

 

I know this is scary and difficult!  Altostrata is right - patience is the key.  It takes a long time for the nervous system to repair itself.  In the meantime, try reading some of the success stories.  They are on the site's home page. Someday, you will recover, assuming you take proper care of yourself.   

 

Hi! Here is an update:

 

It's been a month since my last update here and things are pretty bad but thats expected. I've been in survival mode a lot and I keep freaking myself out about Mirtazipine being the reason for my low mood, burning sensations, anhedonia, emotional anesthesia, apathy, lack of windows but I have no idea. But I would love to go off of this med as soon as possible. I'm scared I could be having an adverse reaction to it but honestly I think I've just been in a horrible wave since December because of Zoloft WD. But I have a really bad feeling about being on it long-term :(( 

 

I also figured out I am vitamin D deficient which I think is important. My level is 19 so not severely deficient but could be contributing to my low mood/energy. It was suggested I start taking 2,000 IUs daily to correct the deficiency but I've heard here it can be really activating for some so I'm really hesitant. Not sure what to do but I would love some insight   I took a magnesium capsule in March and it gave my whole body an electric shock after I took it so I'm scared of supplements/vitamins at the moment. 

 

That's all for now but I would love to hear back from someone.

-Julia

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 4/17/2023 at 2:02 PM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

 

Hi! Here is an update:

 

It's been a month since my last update here and things are pretty bad but thats expected. I've been in survival mode a lot and I keep freaking myself out about Mirtazipine being the reason for my low mood, burning sensations, anhedonia, emotional anesthesia, apathy, lack of windows but I have no idea. But I would love to go off of this med as soon as possible. I'm scared I could be having an adverse reaction to it but honestly I think I've just been in a horrible wave since December because of Zoloft WD. But I have a really bad feeling about being on it long-term :(( 

 

I also figured out I am vitamin D deficient which I think is important. My level is 19 so not severely deficient but could be contributing to my low mood/energy. It was suggested I start taking 2,000 IUs daily to correct the deficiency but I've heard here it can be really activating for some so I'm really hesitant. Not sure what to do but I would love some insight   I took a magnesium capsule in March and it gave my whole body an electric shock after I took it so I'm scared of supplements/vitamins at the moment. 

 

That's all for now but I would love to hear back from someone.

-Julia

 

I'm also terrified and think I may have kindled myself with all those drug changes in Jan/Feb. The first time when I started taking Zoloft again in Jan although it did help at first I might've bumped up the dose to 100 mg around the third week mark. I have no memory of doing this but I think its likely I did. Also when I started Mirtazipine and then bumped up the dose to 30 mg and then went back down to 15 mg a few days later, could that have caused kindling? I'm so scared I won't get better I know time heals but kindling is a whole different story. 

[RachelSusan]

@18yoldoffZoloft Hi Julia,

While I was saddened to read that you are still suffering I have to say I was relieved to see that you came back to update us. As I told you I am a Zoloft survivor myself. Unfortunately I know the symptoms you describe very well. I also understand you trying to figure out what is going on. You ask if it is kindling, or if it is the Mirtazipine. You don't know what to do about the vitamin D. These are all questions I would ask myself if I was in your situation.  You probably won't get an answer. It could be a combination of things, no one really knows. For me I have found the best thing I can do in the situation you describe is to do nothing. I wouldn't make any changes and that includes medication changes (unless necessary to health) diet, job and personal life decisions. I would try and keep everything exactly the same. If a moderator advised me differently, only then would I entertain the idea of making a change.

 

As for your vitamin D, I haven't researched enough here on this site to know if it activating. It well could be, I just don't know. You can research it more on this site by using the search tools here or go to goggle and type Surviving Antidepressants Vitamin D.  If you do decide to start the D I would buy the lowest dose you could in hard pill form, something that could be cut and I would start with a sliver and do that for a few weeks,  and then I would slowly work my way up.

 

I wouldn't worry about labels such as kindling. You will improve regardless of the label. What you know right now for sure is that you feel like crap. I have never felt so terrible as when I was in withdrawal.  It is very painful both emotionally and physically.  I truly weep for you because I have been there.  Hang in there, it does get better. You will get better.

[Altostrata]

How has your symptom pattern changed in the last 2 weeks?

[18yoldoffZoloft]

4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

How has your symptom pattern changed in the last 2 weeks?

Do you mean how has it changed since a month ago or has there been little changes in the span of two weeks ??

[Altostrata]

What little changes in the last 2 weeks?

[18yoldoffZoloft]

3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What little changes in the last 2 weeks?

 

My symptoms have been pretty consistent with my baseline being bad and moments that are worse. For some reason over the past couple of days things have gotten much worse, almost like my brain is dead :(( This is the scariest stuff. For a while I got the tiniest bit of pleasure from some things but I've been hit with this unrelenting apathy, anhedonia I almost felt the switch in my brain when it started to happen its like things are gradually getting worse overtime. It's like my brain isn't accessing positive emotions whatsoever, is that normal? I can't feel love and I have had 0 windows except for a few moments not minutes, here and there when I felt a bit free from all this. I don't feel like a person anymore and I grieve about it every day. I have a feeling Mirtazipine worsened all of this and I would love to get off of it ASAP if its harming me. I've heard it of it harming a lot of people and I'm scared I'll never get my enjoyment back. Im only living for my family right now because it's so hard to find a reason to do it for myself :(( 

 

Is it normal for symptoms to stay and never change? My inability to feel joy/love is making me feel like I damaged my brain, I would feel more positive if I was off Mirtazipine but it feels that ever since I got on things have just stayed bad. They were bad before it but at least I felt like a person. This head pressure/burning didn't start until I was put on this stuff so god I am terrified. 

 

Here are symptoms I've had since starting Mirt:

-head pressure

-burning skin, brain 

-DP/DR

-dry eyes

-neuro-emotions 

-cortisol awakenings

-heart palpitations randomly even without doing anything 

-no access to positive emotions 

-anhedonia, apathy 

-memory loss 

-any kind of social interaction drains the life out of me

-visual disturbances/nausea if I do too much physical activity 

-random feelings of hopelessness, dread, anxiety, feeling like I have to leave my body

 

I really only feel sadness, grief, anger, irritability, numbness, or nothing, maybe neutral 

 

The love is there for people I just can't feel it, it hurts so bad. I would feel more positive if I wasn't poisoning myself with another drug. The head pressure/ burning waxes and wanes but the psychological stuff is near constant, and it has worsened I think. 

 

I was drinking protein smoothies for a bit and then stopped and quit Nicotine completely on March 30. My vitamin D deficiency could maybe be contributing to this apathy/anhedonia but I have no idea. It feels like I'm going through the motions of living but I feel so disconnected from life. It's hard remembering what I was like before all of this. This feels like brain damage. 

 

I know I wrote a lot and none of it was positive so here are a few good-ish things.

-My humor isn't completely dead, I can still joke a bit on some days 

-I enjoy food even just a bit, that has probably never left although I'm scared it is 

-I also feel better when I get a massage or a back-scratch 

-I had a moment a couple of days ago where I felt okay, calm, and almost content. I thought that maybe this is a window that people are talking about but it lasted only a few moments. 

 

How long would I have to hold the Mirtazipine? Especially if things aren't getting better I'm scared this drug is hurting me. 

 

-Julia

 

 

 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 4/18/2023 at 3:53 PM, RachelSusan said:

@18yoldoffZoloft Hi Julia,

While I was saddened to read that you are still suffering I have to say I was relieved to see that you came back to update us. As I told you I am a Zoloft survivor myself. Unfortunately I know the symptoms you describe very well. I also understand you trying to figure out what is going on. You ask if it is kindling, or if it is the Mirtazipine. You don't know what to do about the vitamin D. These are all questions I would ask myself if I was in your situation.  You probably won't get an answer. It could be a combination of things, no one really knows. For me I have found the best thing I can do in the situation you describe is to do nothing. I wouldn't make any changes and that includes medication changes (unless necessary to health) diet, job and personal life decisions. I would try and keep everything exactly the same. If a moderator advised me differently, only then would I entertain the idea of making a change.

 

As for your vitamin D, I haven't researched enough here on this site to know if it activating. It well could be, I just don't know. You can research it more on this site by using the search tools here or go to goggle and type Surviving Antidepressants Vitamin D.  If you do decide to start the D I would buy the lowest dose you could in hard pill form, something that could be cut and I would start with a sliver and do that for a few weeks,  and then I would slowly work my way up.

 

I wouldn't worry about labels such as kindling. You will improve regardless of the label. What you know right now for sure is that you feel like crap. I have never felt so terrible as when I was in withdrawal.  It is very painful both emotionally and physically.  I truly weep for you because I have been there.  Hang in there, it does get better. You will get better.

Hi Rachel! Thank you for your response you have been the sweetest ❤️ I would love for things to get better, even just the tiniest improvement but I'm scared I won't see that for a very long time. I don't want to hold the drug I'm on because I really do feel like I've damaged my brain but I guess tapering now is not good either. All bad options! I feel stuck. For the past month or so the only thing I've been truly looking forward to is sleep and I dread waking up in the mornings it all feels so pointless and never ending. I've been sobbing to my mom every day its like I've lost who I was. There are so many things I want to do in my life still, my boyfriend wants to go on a trip with me this summer but I don't think thats gonna happen anymore. I miss myself so much and I feel like life is just going on without me. I try to keep myself busy and distracted but when you can't feel enjoyment from anything it makes it really difficult. I know that making a change now is not a good thing but I need to feel like I have some sort of purpose. I think I would fight all of my symptoms just to go back to work!! I don't even care if I can't enjoy it, but I want to distract myself from this emptiness because I don't think I can bear just staying at home. 

 

I've thought about trying the Vit D but I never knew you could get it in hard pill form?! If that's possible that's definitely something to look in to. Right now the kind I have is in oil form and made for babies  I haven't touched it yet I am waaaay too scared but it could make me feel better. I'm still really sensitive to things I think.

 

I hope you are doing well, thank you for checking in ❤️ 

-Julia

[18yoldoffZoloft]

14 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

wants to go on a trip with me this summer but I don't think thats gonna happen anymore. I miss myself so much and I feel like life is just going on without me. I try to keep myself busy and

Tried 400 IU Vitamin D today in drop form to start with. Just marking the day. 4/22

[RachelSusan]

@18yoldoffZoloft It will get better.  I understand your emotions are depleted and you are just so sick and tired of feeling bad. It does get better.

 

I did not know that Vitamin D came in pill form either. I looked it up with the hopes that I could find  something you could cut.  I found a few, but here is one example: Bronson Vitamin D3 5000 IU Certified Organic Vitamin D Supplement, Non-GMO, USDA Certified, 90 Tablets.  However it looks like you got it covered, somehow you found 400 IU to start with.

 

Hang in there.  Give it time.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

On 4/21/2023 at 6:01 PM, Altostrata said:

What little changes in the last 2 weeks?

I seriously think my body could be rejecting Mirtazipine?? Since the beginning I've just been apathetic, numb, etc and it randomly just got worse a few days ago. I've had no windows at all. I've just felt completely different ever since I started taking the pill and I'm really not sure what to do anymore. The burning, tingling, numbness, head pressure is unrelenting sometimes and I really don't know what to do, I dont even feel like a person anymore. Would someone get used to an adverse reaction overtime, is that possible? Maybe I just suddenly got worse for no apparent reason but I feel like I'm poisoning myself. When I took it for the first time I felt like I got hit by a truck with exhaustion and when I increased the dose to 30 mg I felt even worse ? I just dont think my body likes this medication. All of this could just be side effects but whens the soonest I could come off of it? This feels like hell. I know holding is a good idea but all of these symptoms make me feel like I'm poisoning myself. Is it normal to not have windows at all? I'm trying to stay strong but all of this feels different to the acute WD because I cannot feel connected to anyone or anything and this is not how I am as a person. I'm scared I've lost myself. 

 

Im sorry I'm being so negative I'm just terrified of this anhedonic apathetic state I'm in along with the physical sensations, I can't even cry anymore I don't know what to do. 

 

Thank you, again

-Julia

[Altostrata]

21 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I seriously think my body could be rejecting Mirtazipine?? Since the beginning I've just been apathetic, numb, etc and it randomly just got worse a few days ago. I've had no windows at all. I've just felt completely different ever since I started taking the pill and I'm really not sure what to do anymore.

 

 

Making people feel apathetic and numb as a common effect of psychiatric drugs.

 

On 2/28/2023 at 3:07 AM, Altostrata said:

From what we've seen, the emotional anesthesia is a common consequence of having taken antidepressants for an extended amount of time, which you have done April 2021-November 2022, followed by a lot of drug changes that might have sensitized your nervous system to adverse drug effects and withdrawal symptoms.

 

Is emotional anesthesia your most prominent symptom?

 

21 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

The burning, tingling, numbness, head pressure is unrelenting sometimes and I really don't know what to do

 

Are these more physical sensations better at any particular times of day?

 

After you take mirtazapine (at what time o'clock?), what happens?

[18yoldoffZoloft]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

 

Making people feel apathetic and numb is a common effect of psychiatric drugs.

 

 

Is emotional anesthesia your most prominent symptom?

 

 

Are these more physical sensations better at any particular times of day?

 

After you take mirtazapine (at what time o'clock?), what happens?

Yes emotional anesthesia, anhedonia, no positive emotions has been my most prominent symptom along with the scalp burning/numbing/tingling and head pressure. Mainly concerned because it's almost like my emotions went completely numb a few days ago like fully turned off, mind blank, I don't even get pleasure from sleep anymore. Also full body numbness. My head feels like a balloon. Also the cortisol mornings, random racing heart, breathlessness have come and gone. I don't even have neuro emotions anymore. 

 

The physical symptoms are very sporadic with no typical pattern. The head pressure, balloon sensation is there all the time though. I think there was a period of time where they got better at night but thats not the case anymore. I've noticed some weird things like when I try to feel an emotion my heart will just start racing instead and my body will tingle?? I have no mental reaction but just physical symptoms.

 

Also really weird things to note, sometimes I'll close my eyes and feel tingling throughout my whole body and whenever I go for a walk afterwards I'll see visual distortions like things zooming in, zooming out. Also I've had some very weird jumbled thoughts like my mind will start switching fast between sentences that make no sense?? And I have no concept of time and cannot remember anything vividly like my minds always stuck in the moment. All of this started on Mirtazipine. 

 

I take Mirtazipine from 10:15-10:30 and I don't think anything weird happens besides my heart beating really fast sometimes after I take it. I fall asleep soon after. 

[Altostrata]

Yes, we get it. We have thousands of people here feeling apathetic and numb from taking psychiatric drugs.

 

You have been taking a stable dose of any drug only since February 19. Please be patient and allow your nervous system to settle down.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

3 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, we get it. We have thousands of people here feeling apathetic and numb from taking psychiatric drugs.

 

You have been taking a stable dose of any drug only since February 19. Please be patient and allow your nervous system to settle down.

Symptoms haven't really changed though since I started Mirt and have stayed the same or worsened, thats the thing thats scaring me. In Jan I felt all this love for my boyfriend although completely depressed but now I don't feel anything and I think its Mirtazipine, I also developed the burning on it. I know I keep repeating things but I'm terrified of myself. 

 

Thank you

[Altostrata]

As explained earlier, emotional anesthesia is a common consequence of having taken antidepressants long-term. This is not a withdrawal syndrome per se, but should gradually fade over time.

 

On 2/28/2023 at 2:26 AM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I've been taking 7.5 Mirtazipine for 8 nights so far, with a bit of improvements every day it seems. I've been trying to eat better, stay consistent with exercise, sleep 8 hours, and take the med at the same time each night (which I haven't been doing the best at). No physical symptoms anymore but definitely the most troubling for me would be a lack of emotion. I

 

On 3/16/2023 at 8:25 PM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

I still don't know whats causing the burning, racing heart, adrenaline, breathlessness its only really picked up the past few days and is always there. 

 

On 3/17/2023 at 6:03 PM, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Im going to quit using because whenever I use it the burning/tingling/numbing gets worse. I'll see what happens. 

 

 

You've reported varying patterns regarding the burning. Is it triggered by your nicotine use? Is it better or worse at any particular times of day?

 

How is the burning prior to your taking a dose of mirtazapine compared to after taking a dose?

 

What is your sleep pattern?

[18yoldoffZoloft]

3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

As explained earlier, emotional anesthesia is a common consequence of having taken antidepressants long-term. This is not a withdrawal syndrome per se, but should gradually fade over time.

 

 

 

 

You've reported varying patterns regarding the burning. Is it triggered by your nicotine use? Is it better or worse at any particular times of day?

 

How is the burning prior to your taking a dose of mirtazapine compared to after taking a dose?

 

What is your sleep pattern?

I know, but I cannot feel anything at all anymore, not even sadness which is why its concerning :(( I feel completely dead while I was overly emotional in January before Mirtazipine. 

 

I quit Nicotine on March 30 so I haven't used it since then. I'm pretty sure it made the burning worse when I did though. I experience body burning and head burning and the body burning is not always there but theres always some head sensation going on. Regularly things arent so bad at night but not always. Sometimes it gets really bad in the mornings. 

 

The burning relatively stays the same although I've noticed that my heart beats really fast after I take it and I get heartburn a lot. Could be just because I'm nervous about taking it.

 

I sleep throughout the night regularly but have woken up sometimes. Some days when I wake up I can easily go back to sleep but some days I'm wide awake from then on. 

 

Im scared of holding too long because it feels nothing has changed, things got slightly worse. 

[18yoldoffZoloft]

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

As explained earlier, emotional anesthesia is a common consequence of having taken antidepressants long-term. This is not a withdrawal syndrome per se, but should gradually fade over time.

 

 

 

 

You've reported varying patterns regarding the burning. Is it triggered by your nicotine use? Is it better or worse at any particular times of day?

 

How is the burning prior to your taking a dose of mirtazapine compared to after taking a dose?

 

What is your sleep pattern?

Also I think I might be having an adverse reaction to it because I've started experiencing hypnogogic hallucinations when going back to sleep after I wake up in the morning. This has happened maybe 5 times so far and even during the day if I take a nap. I'm experiencing exactly what this person has in the picture I showed below. It happened again just 30 min ago but even more extreme. I havent said anything about it before because I thought maybe it was harmless but that along with my complete numbness makes me think I'm having an adverse reaction. The burning too.

[Altostrata]

3 hours ago, 18yoldoffZoloft said:

Also I think I might be having an adverse reaction to it because I've started experiencing hypnogogic hallucinations when going back to sleep after I wake up in the morning.

 

This is not an adverse reaction, not serious, and should go away.

 

We're very, very clear that you have emotional anesthesia from your psychiatric drug use, like almost everyone on this site. This should fade in some months, along with the other mild protracted withdrawal symptoms. Please let us know if you have any serious withdrawal effects.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

21 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

This is not an adverse reaction, not serious, and should go away.

 

We're very, very clear that you have emotional anesthesia from your psychiatric drug use, like almost everyone on this site. This should fade in some months, along with the other mild protracted withdrawal symptoms. Please let us know if you have any serious withdrawal effects.

It just seems like the only things I have are severe PSSD and burning. It was something else in Jan but after Mirt everything changed and my emotions just went, I think I'm worsening. I will hold on because I have to but I feel completely dead my mind is blank and nothing is pleasurable. It feels like what 'Violets' experienced exactly but mine got worse due to Mirtazipine. 

 

I know I keep repeating myself but it feels like my life is over, I just want one window of feeling okay this all feels so permanent like I actually feel brain dead. If things dont change even the slightest bit in the next couple of months I don't know what to do. 

 

If the burning started on Mirt wouldn't that mean its not doing well in my body?? I've had no windows since starting it, its like my soul has disappeared. 

 

I will try and hold back from updating so much when I keep repeating myself but I feel like a fraction of a person and this isnt really mimicking others withdrawal symptoms. It feels like a steady decline  I can't even feel scared about this because I feel nothing at all.

 

Thank you for putting up with this bs, I would feel more comfortable knowing if Mirt is worsening me or not but I will tell you if things get even worse. 

[Altostrata]

As explained many times already, you've been on a stable regimen only since February 19. It can take months to stabilize. Please be patient.

[18yoldoffZoloft]

16 hours ago, Altostrata said:

As explained many times already, you've been on a stable regimen only since February 19. It can take months to stabilize. Please be patient.

I try but I seem to be worsening each day. My whole body has gone numb and I'm starting to feel like a vegetable I'm scared this is complete brain damage. No kind of stimulation is registering in my brain anymore and it feels like I'm shutting down. I wake up everyday and its like theres nothing for me to do, I dont know what to do with myself, I'm so lost. This doesn't feel like WD anymore I don't know what to do. Is there any gene test or anything I could take to see if Mirtazipine is even compatible with my body? 

 

Im sorry I just lose it everyday over this because I can't feel anything at all even my pain receptors dont seem to be working it's like I'm not a person anymore.