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Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia


Neuroplastic

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yeah i have tried some breathing ones, not sure about relaxation ones. I find breathing meditation more useful.

 

i did practice different cognitive exercises, but it has been awhile.  

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

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If a therapist is accessible to you at all, it's worth giving it a second try. I would make sure it's a therapist with a lot of experience in cognitive behavioral therapy. Doing it with a therapist ensures you practice regularly, give it enough time, receive support through it, do it the right way and have more choices of strategies to try.

 

Also, some people respond more to behavioral strategies than cognitive ones and that may be the case with you.

 

After taking medicine for so long, you might have to re-train your brain to cope with negative emotions and also to re-experience positive emotions.

 

Depression itself numbs emotions. Medicine numbs them even more. It might seem like we're feeling a lot because we're anxious or sad or angry, but at the same time we may lack the capacity for joy and for being truly engaged in life.

 

Have you ever heard of Mindfulness based cognitive therapy? It might be something that works for you.

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continuesSeptember 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

  • Stable on Effexor 6mg and Prozac 6mg until around 2019-2020. Side effects (fatigue, anhedonia) continued, but had some long lasting windows thanks to therapy. Windows lasting 5-6 months each year followed by relapses.

  • 2019: bad reaction to melatonin 3 mg. Withdrawal after taking it 2 months. When I tried to stop it developed severe insomnia that lasted 6 months even after I reinstated melatonin. Only slept again because I took hydroxyzine 5 mg 3 times a week for few months. Stopped hydroxyzine with no issues. Sleep normalized.

  • 2020-2021: Holding on Prozac 6mg, Effexor 6mg, Tapered melatonin 1 drop every 2-4 weeks down to 1.5mg. Had to hold because further cuts were causing severe drowsiness. 

  • 2021: Insomnia returned due to caffeine use for few months (only started after months of use). I also had a concussion at this time.

  • 2023: took hydroxyzine 5-100mg for one month (kept increasing dose every 3 days because I developed tolerance). Tapered for 1 week. After 1 month: withdrawal neuroemotions. Reinstated 5mg 2 months after stopping. Gradually increased to 25mg, stabilized, but withdrawal came back after 10 days. Kept increasing dose and withdrawal returning. Currently at 40mg. Not sure how to stabilize. 

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I'm not sure why i didn't receive your reply in e mail.........anyway

 

Yeah i assure you the psychologists i have seen have been good at cognitive therapy, and i would see them twice a week for about 3-4 months. I would pass and would ask for a different one if they didn't work out for me.

 

I think your right as in saying i should see someone and try the therapy again. I have felt like i have needed to but have just lost a lot of trust in people and kind of wouldn't even know where to start when telling my story..and of cause just even having the "get go" to get it organized. All so the whole "been there done that didn't work" feeling, but it is a totally different situation this time round.

 

I totally get what your saying about retraining your emotions. One thing i a'm noticing is that even though i feel 20 times more anxious and so forth, i feel like it's REAL and if i over come it, it will actually be over come! not just numbed. Which is why i a'm making a conscious effort to notice when i a;m starting to fall into that spiral of depression after the anxiety situations that trigger it...as hard as it is.

 

I have actually been recommended someone to see, i have no idea what they specialize in though. I think your right in that i give it a try again..the "Mindfulness based cognitive therapy" sound reaaally interesting, but the town i live in is pretty small so i would have to be lucky to find someone who specializes in that i think.

 

I just ordered a book about being assertive, this is something i really need to address also that coincides with the anxiety......just thought i would throw that in there

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

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someone please help. I cant feel anything, I cant relate to my family. its like I am a different person since i started zyprexa I cant remember who I am.There is no point in living like this.

9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

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Oh man i can relate, the last three days it has hit me again. I have family coming down tomorrow and i'm dreading it. How can you talk and be sociable when you don;t even know who you are? I just want to lie in bed.

 

I suppose in your case you better look up how and why you should get off zyprexa on this forum. Also read the previous posts if Anhedonia or apathy are what your worried about.

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why are you taking zyprexa schizor? Do you absolutely need it? Do you get any benefit from it?

 

Have you talked to your dr about this?

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continuesSeptember 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

  • Stable on Effexor 6mg and Prozac 6mg until around 2019-2020. Side effects (fatigue, anhedonia) continued, but had some long lasting windows thanks to therapy. Windows lasting 5-6 months each year followed by relapses.

  • 2019: bad reaction to melatonin 3 mg. Withdrawal after taking it 2 months. When I tried to stop it developed severe insomnia that lasted 6 months even after I reinstated melatonin. Only slept again because I took hydroxyzine 5 mg 3 times a week for few months. Stopped hydroxyzine with no issues. Sleep normalized.

  • 2020-2021: Holding on Prozac 6mg, Effexor 6mg, Tapered melatonin 1 drop every 2-4 weeks down to 1.5mg. Had to hold because further cuts were causing severe drowsiness. 

  • 2021: Insomnia returned due to caffeine use for few months (only started after months of use). I also had a concussion at this time.

  • 2023: took hydroxyzine 5-100mg for one month (kept increasing dose every 3 days because I developed tolerance). Tapered for 1 week. After 1 month: withdrawal neuroemotions. Reinstated 5mg 2 months after stopping. Gradually increased to 25mg, stabilized, but withdrawal came back after 10 days. Kept increasing dose and withdrawal returning. Currently at 40mg. Not sure how to stabilize. 

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Southernfreeze, I like this book lots: http://www.amazon.com/Undoing-Depression-Therapy-Doesnt-Medication/dp/1455884898#

 

It has helped me understand depression better and realize things I can change. I think you would like it. Check it out.

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continuesSeptember 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

  • Stable on Effexor 6mg and Prozac 6mg until around 2019-2020. Side effects (fatigue, anhedonia) continued, but had some long lasting windows thanks to therapy. Windows lasting 5-6 months each year followed by relapses.

  • 2019: bad reaction to melatonin 3 mg. Withdrawal after taking it 2 months. When I tried to stop it developed severe insomnia that lasted 6 months even after I reinstated melatonin. Only slept again because I took hydroxyzine 5 mg 3 times a week for few months. Stopped hydroxyzine with no issues. Sleep normalized.

  • 2020-2021: Holding on Prozac 6mg, Effexor 6mg, Tapered melatonin 1 drop every 2-4 weeks down to 1.5mg. Had to hold because further cuts were causing severe drowsiness. 

  • 2021: Insomnia returned due to caffeine use for few months (only started after months of use). I also had a concussion at this time.

  • 2023: took hydroxyzine 5-100mg for one month (kept increasing dose every 3 days because I developed tolerance). Tapered for 1 week. After 1 month: withdrawal neuroemotions. Reinstated 5mg 2 months after stopping. Gradually increased to 25mg, stabilized, but withdrawal came back after 10 days. Kept increasing dose and withdrawal returning. Currently at 40mg. Not sure how to stabilize. 

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you can check my topic Newbeginning, http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6664-schizor-can-the-brain-recover-from-antipsychotics/

and no, I stopped going to psychiatrist because I dont trust them.

9/2013 to 1/2014 on zyprexa,

1/2014 to 3/2014 months on zoloft

cold turkeyd all meds but still suffering from anhedonia

..

....

 

01/2015 recovered, my old self is back

06/2015  better and stronger person 

manic episode and total relapse

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Share on other sites

Southernfreeze, I like this book lots: http://www.amazon.com/Undoing-Depression-Therapy-Doesnt-Medication/dp/1455884898#

 

It has helped me understand depression better and realize things I can change. I think you would like it. Check it out.

Thanks, i might check it out. i have read a few books now and as i have said seen a lot of people. i'm not sure there's much more i can be taught about depression to be honest. 

 

I do really like self help books though, unlike a therapist you can go back and check up on what exactly was said.

 

By the way that assetive book turned up and i think i will be able to read the whole thing in one night....oh well, could still help a bit.

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know what you mean, but this book is not educational. It actually helps you help yourself. I have read a lot too and I can tell you this book expressed things in a way I had never heard before. The author is a therapist but he also has suffered depression and understands it at a level I just never saw in any therapist or book, and in 14 years I've seen a lot!

 

Amazon has an option to "look inside" that allows you to read several pages before buying. You can try the book that way and see if it resonates with you :)

 

Have you tried fish oil? That helped me once, but it takes time (2 months) and only works if you take a quality supplement because a lot of the stuff in the market is not good quality.

 

Best of luck to you,

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continuesSeptember 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

  • Stable on Effexor 6mg and Prozac 6mg until around 2019-2020. Side effects (fatigue, anhedonia) continued, but had some long lasting windows thanks to therapy. Windows lasting 5-6 months each year followed by relapses.

  • 2019: bad reaction to melatonin 3 mg. Withdrawal after taking it 2 months. When I tried to stop it developed severe insomnia that lasted 6 months even after I reinstated melatonin. Only slept again because I took hydroxyzine 5 mg 3 times a week for few months. Stopped hydroxyzine with no issues. Sleep normalized.

  • 2020-2021: Holding on Prozac 6mg, Effexor 6mg, Tapered melatonin 1 drop every 2-4 weeks down to 1.5mg. Had to hold because further cuts were causing severe drowsiness. 

  • 2021: Insomnia returned due to caffeine use for few months (only started after months of use). I also had a concussion at this time.

  • 2023: took hydroxyzine 5-100mg for one month (kept increasing dose every 3 days because I developed tolerance). Tapered for 1 week. After 1 month: withdrawal neuroemotions. Reinstated 5mg 2 months after stopping. Gradually increased to 25mg, stabilized, but withdrawal came back after 10 days. Kept increasing dose and withdrawal returning. Currently at 40mg. Not sure how to stabilize. 

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I dont take fish oil but where i live is abundent with sea food so i do get a good regular intake strait from the sea

Ok i will check that book out more when i get home tonite

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you would have to eat a lot of fish (like almost daily) to get the dosage effective for helping the brain. It's also not very good to eat a lot of fish because it contains toxic metals from how contaminated the oceans are--unless you eat only certain kinds (smaller fish), but even small fish contains toxins and if you eat large quantities you increase your risk.

 

I'd recommend you try fish oil for 2 months. If it doesn't make a difference, then at least you tried. This is the one I take and this company ships to NZ: http://www.iherb.com/Carlson-Labs-The-Very-Finest-Fish-Oil-Lemon-16-9-fl-oz-500-ml/2796#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=carlsons%20fish&rc=49&sr=null&ic=3

 

Just check if shipping cost and customs fees (if any) are not too costly.

 

Worth a try for sure :)

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continuesSeptember 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

  • Stable on Effexor 6mg and Prozac 6mg until around 2019-2020. Side effects (fatigue, anhedonia) continued, but had some long lasting windows thanks to therapy. Windows lasting 5-6 months each year followed by relapses.

  • 2019: bad reaction to melatonin 3 mg. Withdrawal after taking it 2 months. When I tried to stop it developed severe insomnia that lasted 6 months even after I reinstated melatonin. Only slept again because I took hydroxyzine 5 mg 3 times a week for few months. Stopped hydroxyzine with no issues. Sleep normalized.

  • 2020-2021: Holding on Prozac 6mg, Effexor 6mg, Tapered melatonin 1 drop every 2-4 weeks down to 1.5mg. Had to hold because further cuts were causing severe drowsiness. 

  • 2021: Insomnia returned due to caffeine use for few months (only started after months of use). I also had a concussion at this time.

  • 2023: took hydroxyzine 5-100mg for one month (kept increasing dose every 3 days because I developed tolerance). Tapered for 1 week. After 1 month: withdrawal neuroemotions. Reinstated 5mg 2 months after stopping. Gradually increased to 25mg, stabilized, but withdrawal came back after 10 days. Kept increasing dose and withdrawal returning. Currently at 40mg. Not sure how to stabilize. 

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I think you would have to eat a lot of fish (like almost daily) to get the dosage effective for helping the brain. It's also not very good to eat a lot of fish because it contains toxic metals from how contaminated the oceans are--unless you eat only certain kinds (smaller fish), but even small fish contains toxins and if you eat large quantities you increase your risk.

 

I'd recommend you try fish oil for 2 months. If it doesn't make a difference, then at least you tried. This is the one I take and this company ships to NZ: http://www.iherb.com/Carlson-Labs-The-Very-Finest-Fish-Oil-Lemon-16-9-fl-oz-500-ml/2796#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=carlsons%20fish&rc=49&sr=null&ic=3

 

Just check if shipping cost and customs fees (if any) are not too costly.

 

Worth a try for sure :)

Thanks, yeah i know that site.

Ok i will look into it. I just find it easier to eat the local mussels (green lipped mussels super cheap, even free if i pick them myself and super nice), canned salmon and freshly caught fish (which is usually only if i a'm lucky and obviously can't be consumed everyday).

I also drink cannabis seed protein everyday which has lots of omega 3 6 and 9. I was actually just told today that Hemp seed oil has more omega 3 than the fish oil...if i find out this is true i think it would be the way as it saves the supporting of big fisheries . I don't like how some brands use krill oil, it's not good to harvest the bottom of the food chain.....sorry just my opinion

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

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Share on other sites

I'm with you southernfreeze...it's in-human. When I am able to cry it doesn't even feel real so to speak. No release.

 

I would have every limb removed to be able to 'feel' again.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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From current research, it seems animal origin Omega 3 is different than vegetable origin and only the animal origin one has the positive effects in the brain. There's a lot of information on this in the Self care thread on this forum where there's a thread just for Omega 3s.

 

Schizor, Muddles, Southernfreeze, I experience the apathy more than the lack of capacity to feel or react emotionally to things.

 

They are related, it seems. The apathy seems the direct result of not being able to feel emotions like guilt (which means you don't care about negative consequences of not getting something done) or drive/passion or even an anticipation of reward from getting something done or pleasure after getting it done.

 

But this incapacity to feel any emotion at all goes beyond that. I don't cry much anymore. I'm not really sad and crying has seemed useless to me for a long time now because it doesn't change anything. However, when I felt better from the apathy, I realized I was crying a little at things like movies and it was because I was moved, touched, better able to experience the other person's emotions. It was not unpleasant crying. On the contrary, I realized I was more connected to reality and able to relate emotionally to experiences.

 

One thing I don't recommend ever is to isolate ourselves because we can't feel like we used to or don't feel like ourselves. That makes things worse. The brain needs social interaction to learn, to heal, to function at its best. Isolation makes things worse and slows recovery. It encourages rumination, amplifies anxiety, worsens depression, and deprives us of opportunities to engage in other healing activities like getting out of the house, doing something fun (even if just a little), working and studying in collaboration with others, etc.

 

I make myself go out and socialize by focusing on a few people I trust who I don't need to "fake" with. People who know I'm struggling and we just go to the movies, restaurants or stay at home watching movies, chatting, eating, playing games. Things that don't require me to worry about how I'm dressed or if I showered, or require me to say I'm fine when I'm not or to explain. It's  more to get distracted, to relax, to know I can still like others and be liked and be social, even when I'm at my worst.

 

I truly believe that minimum interaction is what helps me hang on until things improve and I can be more engaged with life.

 

There have not been many posts on the "lack of feeling" side effect of antidepressant use. If any of you could explain in a little more detail how it feels and which difficulties you face, how it compares to how you were before, etc., I think it would be helpful for all of us to understand it better and maybe even offer some suggestions.

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continuesSeptember 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

  • Stable on Effexor 6mg and Prozac 6mg until around 2019-2020. Side effects (fatigue, anhedonia) continued, but had some long lasting windows thanks to therapy. Windows lasting 5-6 months each year followed by relapses.

  • 2019: bad reaction to melatonin 3 mg. Withdrawal after taking it 2 months. When I tried to stop it developed severe insomnia that lasted 6 months even after I reinstated melatonin. Only slept again because I took hydroxyzine 5 mg 3 times a week for few months. Stopped hydroxyzine with no issues. Sleep normalized.

  • 2020-2021: Holding on Prozac 6mg, Effexor 6mg, Tapered melatonin 1 drop every 2-4 weeks down to 1.5mg. Had to hold because further cuts were causing severe drowsiness. 

  • 2021: Insomnia returned due to caffeine use for few months (only started after months of use). I also had a concussion at this time.

  • 2023: took hydroxyzine 5-100mg for one month (kept increasing dose every 3 days because I developed tolerance). Tapered for 1 week. After 1 month: withdrawal neuroemotions. Reinstated 5mg 2 months after stopping. Gradually increased to 25mg, stabilized, but withdrawal came back after 10 days. Kept increasing dose and withdrawal returning. Currently at 40mg. Not sure how to stabilize. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have read the entire thread! I can relate to quite a lot of what has been posted. Regarding my meds I am taking 150mg venlafaxine and I am tapering it now. I also take 150mg pregabalin and 2mg risperidone. Regaring the topic of the thread, anhedonia, I think that I do suffer from it. However, I am not really sure it the meds are causing it or if perhaps I have always been this way to some degree. Well, to be honest, I feel like I may have gotten worse since my breakdown (psychotic depression) in 2008. I don't ever feel joy to any extent. It is hard to get a laugh out of me. I don't think that I have always been like that. For example, in my job I have to go to meetings with my team. Somebody might crack a joke and everyone laughs except me. I wonder if people notice. They probably do. There isn't very much if anything that gives me much pleasure. I read quite a bit but reading is a very solitary activity of course. I live alone. I have a cat and I am very fond of him. I am wondering where he is now actually. I haven't seen him since the morning! He could be upstairs on the bed.

 

I am withdrawing socially these days. Socializing has always been a bit of a challenge to me. It is possible that it has become more challenging though. I don't drink although I used to drink a lot. I have been more or less off alcohol for several years now. I take antabuse in case I am ever tempted. I have to say though that my life is a lot easier without the booze. If I ended up at a wedding for example I would typically get hammered and black out. Now on reflection I am wondering if the heavy drinking was a way of dealing with the social anxiety that I used to feel. Having said that, I used to drink alone also. I would drink at home or sometimes I would go to a bar and sit alone playing with my smartphone. I wasn't looking for company. Perhaps in my 20s I used to socialise without so much difficulty although there was a lot of drinking going on then of course. I was young though. In recent years, I have not found socialising easy. Anyway, I decided recently to go to as few social events as possible because I hate going. I will typically leave early. Also, it's hard being around people who are boozing when I am sober. So, I am just not going to bother any more I think, and I have started to refuse the occasional invitation that I get.

 

I did an online test recently to determine if I had a personality disorder. The test suggested that I had avoidant personality disorder as well as paranoid personality disorder. Schizoid personality disorder was also suggested. I read up on these disorders and I think that the one that applies best is avoidant. I just don't like being around people all that much. I have few friends now to be honest and I think that perhaps I have only one really good friend. He is a man that is over 20 years older than me though. I used to put a fair amount of effort into maintaining relationships with people by constantly being in touch with them. However, maybe 6 months or so ago I decided not to do that any longer because I felt that perhaps I was making all the effort with people and coming across as needy. So, when I stopped being in touch with people several of them disappeared from my life. My social circle has shrunk. I feel a bit resentful about that to be honest. They know that I live alone, am single and have had mental health difficulties in the past so it disappoints me that it wouldn't occur to them to send an e-mail or something to see if I am ok since I have gone totally quiet. But they haven't. I don't do Facebook any more either. The reason being that I don't to give people any clue as to what might be going on in my life. In some ways I am trying to disappear.

 

I am avoidant in my professional life also. I dislike interacting with most people at work. I don't enjoy the meetings and I hate having to ask questions. I only do so as a last resort. There is a sports and social club in work. I am a member and I have gone to a few events. I have decided not to go to any more though because I just don't want to socialize. I don't see the point in talking about the banal and I don't really enjoy it. People can just make me nervous so I prefer to be by myself most of the time. Every time I arrive at a social event I am wondering how soon can I get out of there.

 

Emotional numbness is a symptom of AvPD by the way. As I say, I don't feel a whole lot of anything except varying degrees of anxiety and anger. As I have said above I do feel very resentful towards people at times. I feel resentment towards the people who don't get in touch any longer when I stopped getting in touch with them. I feel resentful towards one supposed friend who I used to e-mail every morning - short e-mails generally as there wouldn't be so much news from day to day. However, there were times when he wouldn't reply, not even to say that he was busy that morning or whatever. So, in the end I decided that I didn't like being ignored and stopped e-mailing him altogether. I used to visit him at his home fairly regularly as well but since I've stopped with the contact these visits have stopped also.

 

Regarding romantic relationships, I meet a lot of women online. Despite the fact that I am probably avoidant I don't have all as much difficulty meeting people on an individual basis. I have always been like that I think. I have had a long string of short romantic relationships. I enter into them all in good faith but I think that the women eventually realise that I am just not there emotionally and they leave me. I have attachment issues. I have only been in love maybe twice in my life and now I'm not even sure if I was love at all. When the second of those relationships ended it all started to go downhill and I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for two months. That's when I first started on the meds.

 

So that's where I am at really. I can feel very alone at times. My existence is quite solitary but that is somewhat by choice. I am home alone right now with some music on in the background. I listen to a lot of music by the way. I am thinking of turning the tv on shortly. After a couple of hours I will go to bed and read. I am actually meeting someone tomorrow who I met online night for dinner or perhaps a drink although I will be drinking non-alcoholic beer of course. Otherwise I will be alone all day. Perhaps this is the beginning of yet another short relationship. Perhaps I will fall in love but probably not.

 

Thanks for reading  :)

Previously - zopiclone, risperidone, lyrica (pregabalin), ativan (lorezapam)
01/Aug/2016 -  65mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
12/Aug/2016 -  75mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
03/Oct/2016 -  70mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
29/Oct/2016 -  65mg effexor, 4.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
25/Nov/2016 -  65mg effexor, 4mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
25/Dec/2016 -  60mg effexor, 3.6mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
18/Jan/2017 -  60mg effexor, 5.25mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
27/Mar/2017 -  54mg effexor, 5.25mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
23/Apr/2017 -  54mg effexor, 7.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
09/May/2017 -  75mg effexor, 7.5mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
08/Jun/2017 -  75mg effexor, 6.75mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
18/Jul/2017 -  75mg effexor, 6mg olanzapine, 15mg mirtazpine
Sometimes valium. Not daily. Supplements - Sterols and Stanols.
Note : I would really hope that nobody uses my tapering history as a guideline. It might not work well for somebody else tapering similar medications.
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  • 3 months later...

Hi to everyone i just want to say that i feel the same.I have been for 5-6 years on meds (seroxat,effexor,anafranil,ludiomil) for panic attacks.

I was 4 years on seroxat at the beginning and i was feeling very good so i decided to stop cold turkey 20 mg.

Since i stopped the seroxat i feel no emotions like dysthymia, anhedonia,demotivation, i am not able to experience pleasures and depressed moods even when i was on other meds.Since 3 weeks i am meds off and i am not able to experience pleasures.i have depressed mood and i feel my head that is going to explode!!!

I want also to say that before start my panic attacks i never have anhedonia,apathy and demotivation.

Are these feeling caused by the meds?

Will i be able to experience some life pleasures sometime??

Thanks in advance!

2008-2010 seroxat 40mg for panic attacks

2010-2012 seroxat 20mg 

2012 stopped seroxat(cold turkey) because of feeling perfect but after 2 months the panic attacks and other symptoms started again

Reinstated seroxat on 60mg but no effect (depression induced,low mood,and many other side effects)

Effexor 300mg for 1 month didn't work

2013-2014 Anafranil 100mg (tricyclic) 5-6 months feeling good but after that not feeling very good

Add maprotiline 50mg (tetracyclic) some improvement but i stopped maprotiline because i didn't want to be on cocktail

2014 Generalized anxiety disorder stopped and reinstated anafranil 150mg

2015 April  meds free

 

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I'm at the exactly same situation, complete most deep chemical lobotomy possible, lose of humanity, my mind is so blank that is not ******* normal anymore, when i close my eyes before i go to sleep, there absolutly NOTHING inside my anymore, i even lost my inner monolog, the inner voice of my soul that was there my whole life. at the old times thoughts were racing in my head and ive seen like some pictures, been very manic for some time, trying finding myself again, finding my old interest, but nothing changed, so i'm dying more and more every day, no love, hate, anger, happynes, never in good or bad mood, never tired or well rested, can't connect to my family, don't have emotional connections to anything in this world, it's now over a year and absolutly nothing changed, all started after withdrawing from mirtazapin, one day woke up and i lost my soul, very deep inside me, the core of my being that i build since i was born, this is complete damage to the frontal lobe and nothing else, they are made to destroy it, the part that contains your soul. never in my live i felt so helpless, parents don't understand that ******* hell. Wanted help from doctors and they simply said that I'm shizophrenic now, i had to stay in hospital for 1 month and they forced me to take zyprexa, else i would have to stay there 1 year, that is just ******* sick! It really is a wonder how i'm still here and fight against this existence.

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It's horrible helpless. I wonder if it is any the worse for having the awareness of this state rather than being unaware and actually 'being' this state..

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Omg Helpless, thats terrible! How old are u and did u go to hospital voluntarily? How did these drs reach that diagnosis?..if u recall. U went for help + ended up helpless. It shouldnt be allowed, especially the "blackmail" of w/o zyprexa you'd have to stay a year. If u dont mind...were u private pay or medical insurance? I ask b/c my hosp stay turned from a voluntary 72 hour into a 2 week nightmare. Coincidentally when my medicare was approved. Of course laws + ins vary by state, country, etc. but I truly understand how u feel..this is a frightening situation. Are u currently on any psych meds? If yes, my advice is to follow this forum + taper off - and dont tell b/c they'll just throw more rx at u. Im not an expert - just a fellow victim. Good luck to you.

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I'm 26 and yes i did go voluntarily to the hospital with medical insurance, because of suizidal thoughts. They gave me that diagnosis after not even 5 minutes, all i said was exaclty the same that i wrote here. I simply don't know what todo anymore and i have to take my life if nothing will change, how can someone live with no thoughts, emotions and feelings? I'm not even longer able to watch TV, because there is absolutly no feedback from what i'm seeing, my opinions and everything simply got ereased. I'm tired of crying, there is absolutly no feelings and at the same time it's like i can't even controll it, also i don't recognize old picturs of myself,  It's like i'm literally braindead, without my spirit and my soul.

 

Could some of you please recommend me anything that could help? I will try anything out, i really don't want to hurt my family. Thx.

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So sorry helpless, I know how that feels and my heart is with you.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Its just awful! What u say proves there is no longer a profession...only greed + ignorance. Be patient + perservere. I've felt the same way so many times + going into 6th year of apathy/hell. Read as much of this site as possible, its full of help. U are truly strong Helpless since you've made it this far.

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Helpless <3

 

Just a suggestion - I don't know if this would appeal but for me places that are holy/spiritually charged are helpful to me. So, when I go on retreat or volunteer or stay somewhere that is full of soul and people seeking soul this seems to help a lot. I'm not sure if this appeals to you or not. I never believed or was interested in any of this for years until I felt a lot at one particular place and the feeling was just one of compassion and connectedness to myself and other people - something I don't feel much. At the very least, you could be surrounded by compassionate, supportive people?

 

Just a thought. Xx

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I don't care about much and I don't fee much pleasure over anything.  It's really hard to care enough to just get out of bed a lot of the time.  It's really awful and I'm wondering if it will ever be any different without pharmacological intervention.  I've had problems with this my whole life but in cycles with breaks or ups in between where I did get excited/happy about things, but now, since the drugs, there aren't any breaks, just one long, flat, low with some additional lows that dip underneath.  I feel like it's my new 'baseline.'

05/11  Gabapentin 1800mg, nardil 60mg, 05/12  Rapid taper & d/c both
12/12  ER: Risperidone .5 mg 2x day 1 wk/then .5 mg 1x day, 02/13  Risperidone d/c
03/13  ER: Seroquel 150 mg, Celexa 20 mg (d/c after 1 week)
04/13  E&T: 10mg zyprexa, 20mg Celexa, 150mg trazodone, 2mg Clonazepam (Zyprexa and Celexa d/c after 1 week)        
05/13  Rapid taper & d/c Trazadone, clonazepam reduced from 2 mg - .5 mg, Gabapentin 300 mg 3x day
06/13  Clonaz .5 mg - .125 mg

12/13  Clonaz 1/8 mg, gabapentin 240 mg 3x day

03/14  Clonaz 1/8 mg, gabapentin 100 mg 3x day

09/14  Clonaz 1/8 mg, gabapentin   33 mg 3x day   11/14  Clonazepam 1/7 mg

04/15  Clonazepam 1/11 mg

08/15  finished taper

 

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  • 5 weeks later...

I'm no longer in distress but two waves ago I start to feel flatness between them, loss of emotion and enjoyment and psychical feeling of just dragging myself about because I cannot see the point. I am going for a walk and then volunteering for a few hrs..but can't see the point.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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I've been there too..per both posts. Im there right now. The apathy + demotivation are so torturous. I had a great 2 month wave of "normal" this fall. Tho I enjoyed it I just get so down when I go back to A-head. (my nickname for anhedonia, et al). Remarkably, after my fantastic window I went back to the flatness + lack of enjoyment BUT!! my 4 1/2 year bout of agoraphobia is gone. It took me a week to notice but i'm blown away by this. I told my pdoc but he thinks its b/c of his skill + meds. Really?? Once again, he's not aware that I tapered. I'm completely off all psych meds now. Im so pleased about this development + its my 3rd month agora-free. He cant explain it nor can I...its just hard to enjoy when the demotivation gives u no reason to go out or do anything. Dont get me wrong cuz im as thrilled as my A-head will allow me. Like a surfer I'll just await my next good wave. Another positive point is that it was the 1st holiday season in 5 years that I didnt fear or dread. So even tho I didnt "enjoy" it, I was happy that I could finally participate. I hope everyone here had a positive experience during the holiday and in future. Thank you all for listening.

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Woohoo what excellent progress pittykitty! Pleased for you :)

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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  • 1 month later...

Just wondering if and of you women find a hormonal connection to the anhedonia. I find mine coincides with my cycle. Anhedonia being heaviest during PMS and lighter during the week after my period comes. Its never 100% gone, but maybe 50% at that time, with little flickers of maybe 85% gone. 

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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No I don't notice that

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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I am new to this site also and stumbled across this thread and I can relate a lot to what everyone is going through. I to am experiencing overall emotional numbness I cant feel happiness, sadness, or pleasure. I have trouble focusing and concentrating on anything. I find myself going through the motions day to day I force myself to go to work everyday because I have to or else I would be homeless. I no longer enjoy things that I once loved liked playing sports, working out, writing music/poetry, I don't even get enjoyment from listening to music, or playing video games. I feel like im trapped in a deep dark emotionless ocean with no way out living like this is pretty dismal but I hope and pray that things will go back to normal for us all.

Abilify 5 mg ,25 mg - 07/2014 /quit cold turkey 08/2014. Depakote 500 mg - 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014.

Olanzapine 10 mg twice daily - 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Trazodone 200 mg nightly- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Zolpidem 10 mg nightly -07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Clonazepam 0.5 mg -07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Hydeoxyzine 50 mg three times a day-07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Lithium 600 mg twice daily 900 mg  nightly- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Risperdone 1 mg twice daily- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Zyprexa- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Ativan- 07/2014/quit cold turkey 08/2014

Lamictal 25mg to start then upped to 50 mg- 11/2014-12/20/2014. Zoloft 50 mg 01/2015 quit CT at 50mg then started taking it again in the beginning of febuary- No longer taking Zoloft

Trazodone 100 mg 02/2015- present. Vistril 25-50 mg 02/2015-02/2015

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How long can I ask, dream catcher have you felt this way

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Since I stopped taking hospital meds  around august/september of last year

Abilify 5 mg ,25 mg - 07/2014 /quit cold turkey 08/2014. Depakote 500 mg - 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014.

Olanzapine 10 mg twice daily - 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Trazodone 200 mg nightly- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Zolpidem 10 mg nightly -07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Clonazepam 0.5 mg -07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Hydeoxyzine 50 mg three times a day-07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Lithium 600 mg twice daily 900 mg  nightly- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Risperdone 1 mg twice daily- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Zyprexa- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Ativan- 07/2014/quit cold turkey 08/2014

Lamictal 25mg to start then upped to 50 mg- 11/2014-12/20/2014. Zoloft 50 mg 01/2015 quit CT at 50mg then started taking it again in the beginning of febuary- No longer taking Zoloft

Trazodone 100 mg 02/2015- present. Vistril 25-50 mg 02/2015-02/2015

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It's difficult! Awful actually,.hope things improve.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Thanks Joannad im hoping things will get better life really isn't enjoyable at the moment.  Reading your medication history I see you and I were both on some of the same medications. My life took a turn for the worst after stopping antipsychotic meds, after that nothing has been the same 

Abilify 5 mg ,25 mg - 07/2014 /quit cold turkey 08/2014. Depakote 500 mg - 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014.

Olanzapine 10 mg twice daily - 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Trazodone 200 mg nightly- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Zolpidem 10 mg nightly -07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Clonazepam 0.5 mg -07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Hydeoxyzine 50 mg three times a day-07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Lithium 600 mg twice daily 900 mg  nightly- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Risperdone 1 mg twice daily- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014

Zyprexa- 07/2014/ quit cold turkey 08/2014. Ativan- 07/2014/quit cold turkey 08/2014

Lamictal 25mg to start then upped to 50 mg- 11/2014-12/20/2014. Zoloft 50 mg 01/2015 quit CT at 50mg then started taking it again in the beginning of febuary- No longer taking Zoloft

Trazodone 100 mg 02/2015- present. Vistril 25-50 mg 02/2015-02/2015

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From many on this thread..it looks like this awful symptom does go away..

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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