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Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia


Neuroplastic

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@ThatOneGirlStitch
 

8 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I am sorry. distraction is hard for many of use and does feel like we have to put most our energy to it. But it seems like it is a full job for you. I feel like I pissed of some cosmic force. If I remember correctly it feels like the sound is stuck in the back of your head as well.

I came across something. It does not seem to fit you exactly but maybe it is some kind of APD. As this is the anhedonia forum, I will post it the hearing forum.

 

Thank you! Would really appreciate that! Really just want to understand whats going on with me! Afraid its not withdrawal but something serious!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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Anyone here tried the supplement 9-me-bc? Lots of talk about it on the anhedonia subreddit!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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17 hours ago, Sofa said:

Anyone here tried the supplement 9-me-bc? Lots of talk about it on the anhedonia subreddit!

No, but I will give my observations, opinions, and bad knowledge on the brain. It may or may not be of some help. And other people hopefully will see any blind spots in my logic and point them out.

 

 

I have heard it said that it improved some people's anhedonia. (I have only met two) And not on others. It depends on the person and how they are affected or got their anhedonia I am guessing.

 

I am not well versed in the brain. But here we go.

9-MBC is said to help regenerate dead dopaminergic neurons.

That's great if that's your problem. But if you ever worked on a car, you know that you can't know for sure all the time what is causing the problem.

There are a lot of systems that come into play when making the reward part of your brain function.

So you have to find what which system is causing that problem and then work your way through that system until you find what part of that system needs to be fixed. There could be more than one problem and that will complicate things. The brain is so complex I do not know how you would pinpoint one problem, unless it can show up on a scan. Aside from blunt trauma I have never heard of anhedonia showing up on a scan.

So point is there is more than one reason people get anhedonia and we don't know what part of the chain is broken.

For example why does St. John's Wart effect some people but not others.

 

But anyway let's say regenerating dead dopaminergic neurons your problem, than you may feel some effect. If that's not your problem, than use of it may result in:

Quote

If a quantity has exceeded the maximum recommended dosages of the 9MeBC, dopamine neurotoxicity may happen.

If you have a problem with dopamine neurotoxicity already i would not add to it.

 

Chances are some kind of neurotoxicity is why we are here. Or you are just waiting for your brain to adjust after you slipped the rug(drug you were taking) out from under it. In that case I would wait.

 

 

Assuming it does affect you and help with anhedonia you have 3 problems to watch out for (This general things to watch out for in any drug/supplement).

 

1. By taking a supplement or drug you risk having the anhedonia worsening. Or effecting something else you didn't want effected. 

 

2. It only works while you are taking it.

 

3. Your body gets a tolerance and you keep needing to increase the dose. You can only do that safely so many times. Also you are risking desensitizing your neurons more, putting your brain in a worst state than it was before.

 

4. It stops working. I know someone who has hopped drugs/supplements. They would take something it would work for at time and then stop. Then they hopped to a different one. They did this three times. Each time it stopped working and the anhedonia returned.

 

5. What you really need to see is how a person is after they use it for a year or so.

 

Take St. John's Wart. Yes it helped many people with anhedonia. But after time it stopped working.

Many people use supplements or drugs to try to help their anhedonia. The general pattern I have seen is this: Person takes drug and nothing happens. OR

Person takes drug. Drug helps. Drug stops working in about 2-12 months.

 

 

There is no one solution. Anhedonia has been around the internet a at least a decade or so. If something worked 25% of the time we would all be using it.

 

 

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi,

I really struggle with the cognitive and emotional aspects of withdrawal. Very low cognitive function and no emotions, severe anhedonia and akathisia. Cant visualize or daydream or even think. Massive headpressure and no possibility to distract myself from the misery. My depression is crushing right now. I have lost myself completely. I Feel no connection to the world around me. It is so awful. Can withdrawal cause this kind of depression, hopelessness and detachment that i never felt before. 
 

I think have had some crashes (caused by ginger, zopiclone and recently benzos). Now i Feel like a vegetable in my head. I am constantly anxious and hate what i have done to myself. 
 

Is it possible that its just normal to get worse during withdrawal? And that i have not chrashed? That its just the withdrawal getting steadily worse before it gets better?


Also hit my head, which seemingly worsened the symptoms. And my symptoms worsened after a massage session. But it could be that i drakk tea, but i have not reacted to coffein before. But then i also felt that paracetamol crashed me. Maybe i am getting more sensitive.
 

Just wondered if it is possible to heal? Even though i have gotten worse so many times. 
 

Is there anything i should avoid, so that i can stop it from getting even worse?

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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i don’t understand how people do this for years. i’m just not here at all. i don’t know how to distract myself. how do you distract a void?

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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My visualization is dissapearing more and more! Now i just see black almost when i close my eyes. Anyone else?

 

Does anyone have a pressure in their head when trying to think or cry or visualize? Is just this dense pressure feeling in my brain, and when i think its like my brain is being sqeezed. 
 

I cant cry anymore.

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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26 minutes ago, Sofa said:

My visualization is dissapearing more and more! Now i just see black almost when i close my eyes. Anyone else?

 

Does anyone have a pressure in their head when trying to think or cry or visualize? Is just this dense pressure feeling in my brain, and when i think its like my brain is being sqeezed. 
 

I cant cry anymore.

Yes this is pssd/withdrawal however you want to call it. Many people expirience the exact same thing. 

All I can say is this is not brain damage or in any form permanent. 

Edited by kostakonkordia

Ad's since 2016 (I was 16 then...) (Escitalopram) 

Nov 2018 switch to venlafaxin 150mg

Nov 2019 to march 2020 tapered by 37,5mg to cero. (breakdown, minor w/d symptoms for a few days only panic attacks followed by deep depression came a month later duo to stress). 

Reinstated venla 150mg in Juli 2020.

Nov 2020 to April 2021 tapering by 15mg every month or so until I reached approximately 50 mg(no w/d symptoms) 

Since April 2021 tapered once by 5% and once by 10% of the last dose because I'm not stable enough for w/d. 

Current dose 50mg venlafaxin

No other medication. 

No supplements

Stopped smoking 29.12.2021

No alcohol 

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15 hours ago, kostakonkordia said:

All I can say is this is not brain damage or in any form permanent. 

have you experienced recovery from some of these symptoms?

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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Do anyone experience a "resistance"/cotton/pressure in the brain when they try to think?


Whenever I try to think, like visualize something in my head, daydream, or just in general more complex thoughts like planning and thinking ahead, it's almost like there is this resistance that's fighting against me from doing so. I have this constant pressure/cotton feeling in my brain that just gets worse. 

 

It's like I want to think and I am willing to and it feels like I should be capable of it, but my mind is pushing against me and is shutting me down. 

This is really hard! I used to be able to daydream and live in my mind. Now i have very few thoughts and my brain feels ruined. 

 

The weird resistance is also there when trying to watch movies, read or listen to music. It gived distorted vision and hearing. I should be able to comprehend, but there is a resistence in my mind!

 

Someone experience the same and get better? Or knows whats happening?

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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52 minutes ago, Sofa said:

 

 

Do anyone experience a "resistance"/cotton/pressure in the brain when they try to think?


Whenever I try to think, like visualize something in my head, daydream, or just in general more complex thoughts like planning and thinking ahead, it's almost like there is this resistance that's fighting against me from doing so. I have this constant pressure/cotton feeling in my brain that just gets worse. 

 

It's like I want to think and I am willing to and it feels like I should be capable of it, but my mind is pushing against me and is shutting me down. 

This is really hard! I used to be able to daydream and live in my mind. Now i have very few thoughts and my brain feels ruined. 

 

The weird resistance is also there when trying to watch movies, read or listen to music. It gived distorted vision and hearing. I should be able to comprehend, but there is a resistence in my mind!

 

Someone experience the same and get better? Or knows whats happening?

Yes... It's more like when I try to mentally focus on something, I just feel out of touch, cognitive issues pop up and distorted vision. Never had this problems before poisoning myself with ADs... Listening to music, watching films etc now is absolutely pleasureless. Total apathy and lack of emotions.

Venlafaxine 75mg, 150mg, 225mg December 2020 - March 2021

Sertraline 50mg, 100mg March 2021 - April 2021

Escitalopram 10mg, 20 mg April 2021 - May 2021

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On 1/25/2022 at 11:11 AM, Nic123 said:

Does anyone worry about supplements they have taken in the past or take now that could have worsened there condition in someway? I know its the anxiety talking but I've been in a steady decline this whole time (1 year 1 month)  pretty much but seemed like i was getting a lot better around the 6 month mark but just seemed to get worst after then and i always wonder Was it something i took/ate?  For a while i was drinking Anti-infammatory smoothies with ginger in them everyday then i go reading on the PSSD forums that ginger crashes people etc or taking vitamins and people saying it made them worst. I dont know if they are the cause and know a lot of us struggling probably already have OCD and anxiety i and know its pointless to even think about it either way as i will never know. But i wish i never got on some forums in the first place as it just feeds the anxiety and unknowing. I'am rambling but does anyone else think feel the same way about supplements and reading stories of other people saying it "crashed" them etc? 

 

It just sucks because i want to take supplements/vitamins sometimes but the thought of just making myself worst drives me insane. I just feel like i genuinely don't want to live in a world that now everything in some way can harm me, freaking vitamins for gods sake? 


Yes! I am really paranoid! 
 

Scared i am permanently damaged

Got PSSD after quitting Remeron this christmas. Had a bad reaction to the last pill.

 

Since i have gotten worse, and i Feel like i have screwd up all chances of recovery! My symptoms Feel so permanent.

 

I have taken supplements (l-Theanine, c-vitamin, zinc, magnesium and d-vitamin) because i thought i just had anxiety. Had no idea what PSSD was. 

 

Have drinken herbal teas like lavendel and ginger.


Have taken benzo (valium 5 mg x3) and zopiclone.

 

Scared i have ***** up badly the last three months. Had i only known what PSSD and withdrawal was. 


Scared i permanently crashed from ginger ice tea. Had no idea it could be bad. Did i ruin it?

 

Am i *****? All the stories of permanent crashes scare me, and i am afraid since i just keep getting worse. 

Please someone give me some hope!!

I Feel ruined.

 

My mental symptom are way worse now than the sexual once. I have anhedonia and no emotions! Blank mind (i miss daydreaming so much) and serve cognitive issues, OCD like obsession and really bad DPDR. Feel no connection to anything and i walk around in this fog feeling brain damaged. Like my brain is so slow and cant process that much information. I Feel drugged.

 

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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5 minutes ago, Sofa said:


Yes! I am really paranoid! 
 

Scared i am permanently damaged

Got PSSD after quitting Remeron this christmas. Had a bad reaction to the last pill.

 

Since i have gotten worse, and i Feel like i have screwd up all chances of recovery! My symptoms Feel so permanent.

 

I have taken supplements (l-Theanine, c-vitamin, zinc, magnesium and d-vitamin) because i thought i just had anxiety. Had no idea what PSSD was. 

 

Have drinken herbal teas like lavendel and ginger.


Have taken benzo (valium 5 mg x3) and zopiclone.

 

Scared i have ***** up badly the last three months. Had i only known what PSSD and withdrawal was. 


Scared i permanently crashed from ginger ice tea. Had no idea it could be bad. Did i ruin it?

 

Am i *****? All the stories of permanent crashes scare me, and i am afraid since i just keep getting worse. 

Please someone give me some hope!!

I Feel ruined.

 

My mental symptom are way worse now than the sexual once. I have anhedonia and no emotions! Blank mind (i miss daydreaming so much) and serve cognitive issues, OCD like obsession and really bad DPDR. Feel no connection to anything and i walk around in this fog feeling brain damaged. Like my brain is so slow and cant process that much information. I Feel drugged.

 

Our bodies and our nervous systems are always capable of healing and repairing themselves, even though now life seems absolutely meaningless. Read about neuroplasticity. I urge you to stop poisoning yourself with more drugs etc and just give time for everything to repair, I know it is very frustrating but putting more stress on your nervous system will just make it worse...

Venlafaxine 75mg, 150mg, 225mg December 2020 - March 2021

Sertraline 50mg, 100mg March 2021 - April 2021

Escitalopram 10mg, 20 mg April 2021 - May 2021

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@Fairsome

What is a good way to induce neuroplasticity? Do you know?

 

Just want my daydreaming and emotions back! I want my carefree self back!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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5 minutes ago, Sofa said:

@Fairsome

What is a good way to induce neuroplasticity? Do you know?

 

Just want my daydreaming and emotions back! I want my carefree self back!

Neuroplasticity can be viewed as a general umbrella term that refers to the brain's ability to modify, change, and adapt both structure and function throughout life and in response to experience.

 

Withdrawal symptoms are not permanent, because the nervous system will always try to balance itself after being disrupted. Imagine for example if you injure yourself, it feels bad atm but the body heals itself given enough time. It may take long but there are ways you can support your healing process.

Venlafaxine 75mg, 150mg, 225mg December 2020 - March 2021

Sertraline 50mg, 100mg March 2021 - April 2021

Escitalopram 10mg, 20 mg April 2021 - May 2021

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5 minutes ago, Fairsome said:

Withdrawal symptoms are not permanent, because the nervous system will always try to balance itself after being disrupted. Imagine for example if you injure yourself, it feels bad atm but the body heals itself given enough time. It may take long but there are ways you can support your healing process.


Sorry, but what ways can i support my healing process? I Feel so lost!

 

Scared because i am only getting worse! 

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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6 minutes ago, Sofa said:


Sorry, but what ways can i support my healing process? I Feel so lost!

 

Scared because i am only getting worse! 

The least you can do is to not put more stress on your nervous system with more drugs. Try to calm down a bit. I am trying something that can speed up this healing process but still without results so I will report back

Venlafaxine 75mg, 150mg, 225mg December 2020 - March 2021

Sertraline 50mg, 100mg March 2021 - April 2021

Escitalopram 10mg, 20 mg April 2021 - May 2021

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@Sofa you gotta stop freaking out about the ginger, ginger is not that big of a deal. it may upset you a little bit but it is not going to cause any long term damage. people on pssd forums hyperfixate on symptoms and look for something to blame whenever they get in a wave. i know because i do it too. there is no cure but time. 

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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@Sofa

 

It is far more likely the benzos. It may be medicine induced OCD or hyperfocus that is making you focus on the ginger. Try to figure out if it is symptoms causing that focus. I remember being hyper focused on things, it was hard to stop even know it was a symptom. But know if it is or not helps. Even if it was the ginger, the best that can be done is wait it out and follow the guidelines for drug induced anhedonia.

 

I know it is frightening. But you are still going, and that's good.

 

I know your brain is stuck in a place where you feel like you are not going to get better. Emotionally we can not stop feeling that. But logically we must know that we can get better.

 

Your greatest fear is that you are getting worse. That would trigger a panic in anyone. But I promise you, people who have gotten worse for months do get better. You must believe logically that you are one of those people. I know the horror stories. It is far too early to worry that you are one of them. But we must either accept that this is the way it is or believe it will get better. 

 

The biggest thing I worry about is fear. Fear when we cant do anything will take our energy. Worry will not change the situation.

 

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength

 

I understand you are doing the best you can and that fear and anxiety is a symptom that is over powering. But if you put one foot in front of the other you will go so far.

 

fear.jpeg.1efb096e5325c439ce2bc404707bb1eb.jpeg

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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I’m truly starting to believe this is some kind of depression/ocd has to be a factor in how i’am that was triggered by the major distribution to my neurotransmitters from the ssri. Looking back it all went downhill when I started obsessing over it and researching it over and over. I’ve been unemployed for well over a year now and combined with the lockdowns I was in while withdrawing I think it triggered some kind of major depression/anhedonia as it was a very stressful period. Everything points to it at this stage after the extensive research I’ve done over this time. I have no idea on the mechanisms behind it or why this happened to me or so many other people but I’ve just accepted that this is the way it is. I’ve tried lots of different things and honestly nothing makes any type of difference to how I feel, maybe some days I forget about it and feel “ok” but it’s always there somewhere. I tend to not think of this anymore as some type of brain damage. There is people who never touched an ssri who have identical symptoms most of the time. I guess maybe I’m just not able to fathom or accept that a drug could do this 1.5 years later and that there is not more at play here, it just seems utterly impossible 

 

I also notice the more I start going on forums again the more I start to spiral out of control feeling absolutely horrible reading stories. 
 

I really don’t know what the answer is anymore, I guess I’m trying to accept this is just how iam now and fighting it won’t make any difference and will just cause more suffering 

2014 Duloxetine, took for a couple of weeks and stopped was aged 17 at the time CT brain zaps etc. 

2017 Lexapro 5mg, hard to remember but i took this for a couple months ago for social anxiety. Stopped CT, brain zaps etc. 

 

2020  oct-dec, Escitalopram, 5mg took for a total of 2.7 months including taper, tapered for a couple weeks. 

still not right. Emotional blunting, brain fog, anhedonia, PSSD, blank mind, cognitive issues. 

 

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@Nic123

 

10 hours ago, Nic123 said:

I also notice the more I start going on forums again the more I start to spiral out of control feeling absolutely horrible reading stories. 

 

It's true that sometimes it can be helpful to stay offline away from the forums and just focus on being present in the moment in one's physical life. 

It is also true that we have control over which stories we read when we are online. 

 

When I log on seeking connection, reassurance, encouragement, hope, support, I find it gratifying to read members' stories of successful recovery:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/

 

 

 

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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@ThatOneGirlStitch

 

Sometimes fear does not subside and one must choose to do it afraid.

 

Thank you for this! Brilliant, and so very useful going through withdrawal. Love it!

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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On 4/16/2022 at 9:20 PM, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

It is far more likely the benzos. It may be medicine induced OCD or hyperfocus that is making you focus on the ginger. Try to figure out if it is symptoms causing that focus. I remember being hyper focused on things, it was hard to stop even know it was a symptom. But know if it is or not helps. Even if it was the ginger, the best that can be done is wait it out and follow the guidelines for drug induced anhedonia.


My obsession is totally uncontrollable. I obsess over the ginger causing the worsening, and i obsess over the concussion causing more worsening. Obsessed with finding recoverystories to know that i can get my visualization, daydreaming and emotions back. 
 

I also obsess over why i am still getting worse and what i may have done wrong because i keep getting worse. I am so paranoid and stressed about food now. I cant follow conversation or TV or even listen to music because the obsessive constant rumination makes it Impossible to focus, relax and be in the moment.
 

i cant get out of it for the life of me. I Feel the strange urge, panick and stress in my body if i am not researching, and i cant think of anything else even though i try. I find it really hard to be present because of the constant obsessive rumination i cant get out of! My mind never relaxes.

 

i Feel it is hindering my recovery because i cant move on and heal. I have always been a control freak, and the fact i have no control now is so stressfull. Its a bad personality trait of mine.

 

Could this werid uncontrollable obsession/OCD be caused by the medication? 
 

It actually also got way worse after i hit my head and got a concussion. Especially my ability to visualize detoriated and i got way more spaced out, and the last of my emotions vanished. Just afraid that wont get better because of this. 

 

Sorry if i am not making any sense!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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9 hours ago, Sofa said:

My obsession is totally uncontrollable. I obsess over the ginger causing the worsening, and i obsess over the concussion causing more worsening. Obsessed with finding recoverystories to know that i can get my visualization, daydreaming and emotions back. 
 

I also obsess over why i am still getting worse and what i may have done wrong because i keep getting worse. I am so paranoid and stressed about food now. I cant follow conversation or TV or even listen to music because the obsessive constant rumination makes it Impossible to focus, relax and be in the moment.

Hugs

Obsession and rumination are so hard to get through.

 

I know you want to stop but your brain won't let you. And all your energy is going to staying a float. You are doing a lot with very little. 

 

9 hours ago, Sofa said:

 

i cant get out of it for the life of me. I Feel the strange urge, panick and stress in my body if i am not researching, and i cant think of anything else even though i try. I find it really hard to be present because of the constant obsessive rumination i cant get out of! My mind never relaxes.

 

It looks like you are trying to direct you obsession into something helpful. Like searching the web for answers. But that is hard when the answers can not be found. Recovery stories are good.  They are proof that things can get better. I suppose you need to keep finding new ones to get yourself through. 

 

9 hours ago, Sofa said:

i Feel it is hindering my recovery because i cant move on and heal. I have always been a control freak, and the fact i have no control now is so stressfull. Its a bad personality trait of mine.

The coping skills we had before can definitely work against us in withdrawal. The rules are all different now.

One of the coping skills people use in withdrawal is letting go. It helps to avoid the stress. It looks like your OCD symptom is making that hard. 

 

9 hours ago, Sofa said:

Could this werid uncontrollable obsession/OCD be caused by the medication? 

Yep, absolutely. You may benefit from trying to research your OCD symptom on any of the withdrawal support sites on the internet. If you can get control of that then dealing with your other symptoms may become easier if the OCD symptom is hindering you.

 

9 hours ago, Sofa said:

It actually also got way worse after i hit my head and got a concussion. Especially my ability to visualize detoriated and i got way more spaced out, and the last of my emotions vanished. Just afraid that wont get better because of this. 

 

If I could I would give you a big hug. You have a lot of looping thoughts. This makes everything that could have made things worse keep repeating loudly in your head. It is normal to be afraid. It is normal for you to go to worst case scenario and with your anxiety and OCD symptoms, it makes it hard for you to stop thinking about it. And on top of that the anhedonia makes it hard to distract.

It's not surprising you are looking all around for answers.

 

The only thing all people with anhedonia care about is not having anhedonia.

Since you have anxiety, it makes you want to do something about it.

Your OCD will not let you stop.

This lead to all the worrying and searching you are doing. Your mind makes it hard to do anything else.

 

The first thing that may help you is helping with your obsessive thoughts.

Have you looked to see what others with the OCD symptom do?

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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Is it possible to develope aphantasia from this? I am so scared. 
 

i cant visualize at all. Its all Black in my mind. Its so scary. I Feel trapped in my head not working. 
 

i also was so good at visualizing and now i cant at all and i cant dream at all either

 

just need some hope i am not doomed to aphantasia for ever!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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Did any of you also Feel like some of your brain is gone? I used to dream in visualize in the back if my head, but now i cant access the back of my head, because it feels like it is not there, and when i try to access it its just this resistance and pressure together with this werid hollow/empty feeling

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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I feel like I had an adverse reaction to venlafaxine which caused me severe anhedonia. I was only on it for a month or so. So I don’t see it a withdrawal and the anhedonia started after 2 weeks on it. And I can’t find any accounts of similar stories. 
 

still not drug free but even though it’s not venlafaxine, could the other drugs be causing my anhedonia too? 
 

is an acute adverse reaction less likely to recover? 
 

also have a weird sensation in my head/brain. Feel like it’s blocking my emotions. It’s not brain zaps but more numb/bruising/ slight tingling on the right side of my brain. It’s there 24/7.
 

been on psyc meds for 7 months ish. I don’t know how people can feel like this for years (some willpower that), I’m at the end of my fight soon if I don’t see any relief.  Trying my best to get off the meds even though I feel suicidal. 


any advice, help or suggestions appreciated. 

Citalapram 15mg upped to 30mg over about 2 months.not sure dates. 
 

put on venlafaxine in hospital 75-150-225 from October to December. I noticed I had severe anhedonia on this so asked to come off at 150 but they insisted at home to full dose. (But me on quitiapine 50-100mg for sleep towards the end). 2 weeks from top dose off being off(as they suggested, I didn’t know any better)
 

december they put me on setraline, but it give me a really bad headache so wasn’t on that very long at all. 
 

since then I’ve been on mirtazapine 15-30-45. Not coming down. With no positive emotions, can’t love my kids, can’t feel joy, can’t laugh, can’t get excited ever since venlafaxine! 
 

got a strange head sensation (not brain zaps) is a constant on the right hand side of my head. Feel like numbness and bruising of my brain… feel like it’s contributing to my lack of emotions. 

took me a couple of months but I’m down to 22.5mg, not getting any withdrawals to note, just that my lack of emotion is killing me an the head sensation is there. But they have been a problem since I was on venlafaxine in October. And not a withdrawal symptom either as I noticed them when I was on the venlafaxine.

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10 hours ago, Dano said:

I feel like I had an adverse reaction to venlafaxine which caused me severe anhedonia. I was only on it for a month or so. So I don’t see it a withdrawal and the anhedonia started after 2 weeks on it. And I can’t find any accounts of similar stories. 

Hi, I'm sorry you are at the end of your rope. Yes I have read about people recovering from anhedonia caused while being on the medication. When they got off they got better. Though it took months afterward.

 

10 hours ago, Dano said:

still not drug free but even though it’s not venlafaxine, could the other drugs be causing my anhedonia too? 

Yes, mirtazapine is known to cause anhedonia with many people. I have heard of people healing while still on other medication too, but they were not tapering.

 

10 hours ago, Dano said:

is an acute adverse reaction less likely to recover? 

I am assuming you mean you got the anhedonia suddenly while on the medication. There has not been enough studies or surveys to tell us what is better or what is worse. 

I have read of a two people who recovered after getting sudden anhedonia from a few pills. 

 

10 hours ago, Dano said:

also have a weird sensation in my head/brain. Feel like it’s blocking my emotions. It’s not brain zaps but more numb/bruising/ slight tingling on the right side of my brain. It’s there 24/7.

Normal for anhedonia to feel some kind of block or pressure. 

 

10 hours ago, Dano said:

been on psyc meds for 7 months ish. I don’t know how people can feel like this for years (some willpower that), I’m at the end of my fight soon if I don’t see any relief.  Trying my best to get off the meds even though I feel suicidal. 

Yes, its hard to run when you have no gas. Do not rush getting of the meds. Do you feel suicidal from the anhedonia or is that a different symptom? If it started when you got on the meds, if you can taper slowly (10% rule) then after time your feelings should slowly return.

 

I believe Brassmonkey and Happy2Heal both got anhedonia while on meds. I don't know if it was acute. I think it crept up on Happy2Heal.

 

Following the guidelines for drug induced anhedonia may help.

 

I don't know if you read this forum but here is what I do and have found from others who healed:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2873-apathy-anhedonia-emotional-numbness-emotional-anesthesia/?do=findComment&comment=583823

 

Here you may find some insights that may or may not help you.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/26000-julesb-i’m-at-a-loss-and-im-scared/?do=findComment&comment=582121

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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6 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Hi, I'm sorry you are at the end of your rope. Yes I have read about people recovering from anhedonia caused while being on the medication. When they got off they got better. Though it took months afterward.

 

Yes, mirtazapine is known to cause anhedonia with many people. I have heard of people healing while still on other medication too, but they were not tapering.

 

I am assuming you mean you got the anhedonia suddenly while on the medication. There has not been enough studies or surveys to tell us what is better or what is worse. 

I have read of a two people who recovered after getting sudden anhedonia from a few pills. 

 

Normal for anhedonia to feel some kind of block or pressure. 

 

Yes, its hard to run when you have no gas. Do not rush getting of the meds. Do you feel suicidal from the anhedonia or is that a different symptom? If it started when you got on the meds, if you can taper slowly (10% rule) then after time your feelings should slowly return.

 

I believe Brassmonkey and Happy2Heal both got anhedonia while on meds. I don't know if it was acute. I think it crept up on Happy2Heal.

 

Following the guidelines for drug induced anhedonia may help.

 

I don't know if you read this forum but here is what I do and have found from others who healed:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2873-apathy-anhedonia-emotional-numbness-emotional-anesthesia/?do=findComment&comment=583823

 

Here you may find some insights that may or may not help you.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/26000-julesb-i’m-at-a-loss-and-im-scared/?do=findComment&comment=582121

 

Thanks for the reply. The suicidal thoughts are because of the anhedonia. Like torture everyday because I’ve got a 1 year old and could only enjoy him for 3 months until this. Not I can’t feel a thing, before all this, his smile made me smile, his little laugh made me laugh. He’s almost walking now an I should be feeling all the pride and love I know I had. It’s killing me. Crying every day for 7 months. 
 

im trying to be strong but it’s so hard. I know I’m dealing with it but it’s affecting everyone around me. With no light at the end of the tunnel. I was always a positive person but I can’t be in this situation. 

Citalapram 15mg upped to 30mg over about 2 months.not sure dates. 
 

put on venlafaxine in hospital 75-150-225 from October to December. I noticed I had severe anhedonia on this so asked to come off at 150 but they insisted at home to full dose. (But me on quitiapine 50-100mg for sleep towards the end). 2 weeks from top dose off being off(as they suggested, I didn’t know any better)
 

december they put me on setraline, but it give me a really bad headache so wasn’t on that very long at all. 
 

since then I’ve been on mirtazapine 15-30-45. Not coming down. With no positive emotions, can’t love my kids, can’t feel joy, can’t laugh, can’t get excited ever since venlafaxine! 
 

got a strange head sensation (not brain zaps) is a constant on the right hand side of my head. Feel like numbness and bruising of my brain… feel like it’s contributing to my lack of emotions. 

took me a couple of months but I’m down to 22.5mg, not getting any withdrawals to note, just that my lack of emotion is killing me an the head sensation is there. But they have been a problem since I was on venlafaxine in October. And not a withdrawal symptom either as I noticed them when I was on the venlafaxine.

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19 hours ago, Dano said:

Thanks for the reply. The suicidal thoughts are because of the anhedonia. Like torture everyday because I’ve got a 1 year old and could only enjoy him for 3 months until this. Not I can’t feel a thing, before all this, his smile made me smile, his little laugh made me laugh. He’s almost walking now an I should be feeling all the pride and love I know I had. It’s killing me. Crying every day for 7 months. 
 

im trying to be strong but it’s so hard. I know I’m dealing with it but it’s affecting everyone around me. With no light at the end of the tunnel. I was always a positive person but I can’t be in this situation. 

It's not a problem. This is the hardest thing you will ever do. I was about to get married before it hit, so I can only imagine how much harder having a one year old is.

It hurts when we see something that should provoke an emotion in us that doesn't come. I imagine you get a lot of that after reading your post.

 

I want to say I am so glad you can cry. I am sorry that you are in a state to need to cry. But so glad you are still able to do so. 

I was also a positive person. The light of the group. To not be able to call on that positivity is so hard. It feels black and white.

 

It is mental torture. It does feel like we are dying inside

What I can tell you is that everyone who had anhedonia felt like it was permanent. There is something in anhedonia that makes it feel so. Everyone that healed that I talked to said the same thing. It felt permanent. So I can only assume that it is a symptom of anhedonia.

 

We can't be positive but we still can have hope. We need to foster that hope when the opportunity presents itself. Get reassurance from others. Ask for stories. Have a folder you can keep them in if that helps. I have read many stories. It is hard to go back and find them again. You will find a lot of people panicking on the internet. This is normal to panic. But try to stay away from forums on the internet with too much panicking or doom. It's ok to talk about your feelings, Im just saying I have found forums full of nothing but doom. It is very easy for that to happen when you have a forum full of people who don't have positive emotions. But it's not helpful. And you need to do everything you can to get through this. 

 

If you can, contact people who made it through. They can tell you how they felt. It will be very similar to how you feel now. 

 

I would not take any more medication. What your brain needs is to be able to rebalance/heal itself. That can take a long time as I'm sure you know. Adding more medication will likely complicate it. 

 

You have a goal. You want to heal. We can't really feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So we must know it is there logically. Logically we know it is possible to heal. You have to find a way you can make it there.

 

It definitely can affect everyone around you. I don't know how it is for you. I don't know whether it is because of motivation or intimacy. But you will probably find people here with similar problems.

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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@ThatOneGirlStitch do you know of stories where reinstatement helped to alleviate the anhedonia? i’ve had it for 7 months now and really don’t know how much longer i can take it

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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@ThatOneGirlStitchalso if you have recovery stories you can share, i would really appreciate that 

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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@canaanstongue01

 

I have posted this before so to save on energy I'm just going to paste it here.

 

Quote

I have not heard reinstatement fixing anhedonia/pssd reliably. I have only heard of one story which it fixed someones pssd. And they didn't just reinstate, they had a pattern and process they were following. I am guessing this was an unlikely out come since I have not heard any of his many followers (it was quite the story at the time) being helped by it. I know one guy who personally tried reinstatement for anhedonia. He said he felt like the feelings where coming back, small things; relief after going to the bathroom, pssd lifting slightly. But it did not last more than a few days. Really I can not say with certainty whether it would or would not work, this is just what I have found lurking on various forums.

 

I am just guessing but reinstatement might have a better change with physical symptoms or anxiety. I myself am skeptical about it helping with anhedonia, I think I would see more people reinstating and reporting back. But drugs can give people anhedonia in different ways. Coming suddenly, slowly, in waves, or most common from what I see, constant. I do not know why this is, but we can certainly make guesses.

 

 This is observations I have seen from watching/reading/following others. 

 

One thing I can say is if you got the anhedonia while on the drug, do not reinstate. I have only seen pain from that.

 

Did you get the anhedonia from the drug you are tapering or from a previous drug?

 

If you are thinking of updosing to get rid of your anhedonia, I have yet to see that work. If you have let me know I would be very interested.

If it was from another medication than the one you are tapering that you quit and that is what you mean by reinstating, then I have my knowledge on that in the above quote.

 

Know if you plan to reinstate or updosing there is a risk of your anhedonia worsening. I would tag the mods on your introduction page for more insight if it is something you are seriously considering.

 

You got your anhedonia after you started tapering or it is related to reducing the medication, right? I'm guessing you are still tapering. I know people have gotten their anhedonia from CT have it go away. So if it was a drop in medication that caused it you still can heal. If it showed up in your taper, that is not unheard of. Unfortunately, in general the assumed pattern is that your emotions will return after you get of the offending medication. It will not be right away you will have to do some more waiting. You can also wait to taper to see if symptom improves and if your brain catches up. Basically your brain needs a chance to breathe. Whether it is best to wait or get off the meds is a personal decision. 

 

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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6 hours ago, canaanstongue01 said:

@ThatOneGirlStitchalso if you have recovery stories you can share, i would really appreciate that 

 

Here are some that I have posted before. They are all from the benzobuddies website because it is easy to link.

I have others off the benzobuudies site, but those where in private messages that I sent out to people looking to collect info. I can not post screenshots for privacy reasons. But if you are looking for specific stories I may have some in my collection. Though the more exact you get the less I can give you. So having a story from a guy who got anhedonia from zoloft after trying to taper it twice while binge drinking is something I can not offer.

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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7 hours ago, canaanstongue01 said:

i’ve had it for 7 months now and really don’t know how much longer i can take it

Anhedonia is hard to push forward with. Which aspect of anhedonia is worse for you? No positive emotions, no motivation, connection to others or the dreaded void?

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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2 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

 

Did you get the anhedonia from the drug you are tapering or from a previous drug?

 

to be honest, i'm not sure. i didn't have it at all while i was on lexapro and valium. i got off lexapro (too quicklly) last july, and i started tapering valium in october. anhedonia hit really hard in the middle of november.

 

2 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Which aspect of anhedonia is worse for you? No positive emotions, no motivation, connection to others or the dreaded void?

 

i don't know how to separate these things, they are all equally terrible for me. i just don't feel like there is a reason for me to be alive.

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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3 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Here are some that I have posted before. They are all from the benzobuddies website because it is easy to link.

thanks. i've seen most of these and i guess they aren't particularly reassuring, because i really don't feel like i can wait years to be back at 50%. what a stupid joke of a life this is...

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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