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Apathy, anhedonia, emotional numbness, emotional anesthesia


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On 4/22/2022 at 5:47 PM, canaanstongue01 said:

thanks. i've seen most of these and i guess they aren't particularly reassuring, because i really don't feel like i can wait years to be back at 50%. what a stupid joke of a life this is...

I am not surprised you found these. I suppose we all get the obsessive research part. Are you looking for faster healing stories? What is reassuring? 

 

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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1 hour ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Are you looking for faster healing stories? What is reassuring? 

 

yes, i am looking for people who did not take years to heal. they have to exist; not everyone who gets off of ADs goes into PAWS. very little reassures me lately

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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1 hour ago, canaanstongue01 said:

yes, i am looking for people who did not take years to heal. they have to exist; not everyone who gets off of ADs goes into PAWS. very little reassures me lately

Yes they do.

Fastest recovery story I remember is a woman that healed in roughly 4 months after getting off the offending drug. Unfortunately I wasn't collecting stories at that time and I don't know if I could find her post again. What I can tell you is she got it from a medication, I believe she still had the ability to cry. She had a schedule she tried to stick to/to keep going. I can not remember if said said anything about diet. 

 

I remember running into others who talked as if the healed fast from anhedonia but it was not the focus of their post. So I don't know what fast was for them.

 

so... stories from about 4 months onwards.

 

I didn't really save any stories under a year (because I thought, that can't possibly be me), but I have come across them and could probably find a couple. Someone on this site mentioned their anhedonia clearing up in months.

 

 

My observations (This does not mean all cases are like this, just that I have found or run into them)

So if someone healed in a few months they may only mention it in passing. Something like The anhedonia and muscle pain were bad for a while but they passed. And I look at their profile and the have been in WD for 1.5 years. Doesn't tell me anything but that it went away under that time and that they didn't think to mention more about it. Also going through someone's post history is time consuming (the ones that don't post much are less likely to mention it than the the guy with the 3400 post history) so I got to guess which time period I should be looking through to see if I can get anymore confirmation. (Like between the dates of April 2019 - November 2019)  So it is possible that the longer a person has anhedonia the more likely they seem to be to go into detail about their recovery.

 

You run into those topics that say something like Did anyone heal from anhedonia, how long? The people on that site who mentioned they healed don't really take notice of it/post there. And those that made the topic and do healed don't always come back to post.

 

I don't have statistics on this. It's hard enough to go through post history and follow up with people. But that is something to take into consideration. 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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3 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I don't have statistics on this. It's hard enough to go through post history and follow up with people. But that is something to take into consideration. 

I appreciate the replies stitch. how long have you had anhedonia? i went down the very dark "this is permanent" hole again today. it happens when i start thinking too much about pssd. it all just feels so hopeless, you know?

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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6 minutes ago, canaanstongue01 said:

I appreciate the replies stitch. how long have you had anhedonia? i went down the very dark "this is permanent" hole again today. it happens when i start thinking too much about pssd. it all just feels so hopeless, you know?

I understand you too but it's 100% not hopeless. There is a cause for pssd and we are going to find it. 

Actually our whole subreddit is working on finding a solution. 

And we are on our best way. 

People have recovered from taking something like sjw so it's obvious that there is no damage involved or at least only minor which can be repaired. 

Ad's since 2016 (I was 16 then...) (Escitalopram) 

Nov 2018 switch to venlafaxin 150mg

Nov 2019 to march 2020 tapered by 37,5mg to cero. (breakdown, minor w/d symptoms for a few days only panic attacks followed by deep depression came a month later duo to stress). 

Reinstated venla 150mg in Juli 2020.

Nov 2020 to April 2021 tapering by 15mg every month or so until I reached approximately 50 mg(no w/d symptoms) 

Since April 2021 tapered once by 5% and once by 10% of the last dose because I'm not stable enough for w/d. 

Current dose 50mg venlafaxin

No other medication. 

No supplements

Stopped smoking 29.12.2021

No alcohol 

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1 minute ago, kostakonkordia said:

Actually our whole subreddit is working on finding a solution.

i don't want anything to do with the subreddit, and i think i've told you as much before

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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5 minutes ago, canaanstongue01 said:

i don't want anything to do with the subreddit, and i think i've told you as much before

That's ok just telling you that this is not a doomsday scenario in any way and that there is a reason behind this besides receptor rearrangement. 

Idk what you told me before... I honestly thing this information could be important for everybody who is suffering from this condition but ok I guess... You do you... 

Edited by kostakonkordia

Ad's since 2016 (I was 16 then...) (Escitalopram) 

Nov 2018 switch to venlafaxin 150mg

Nov 2019 to march 2020 tapered by 37,5mg to cero. (breakdown, minor w/d symptoms for a few days only panic attacks followed by deep depression came a month later duo to stress). 

Reinstated venla 150mg in Juli 2020.

Nov 2020 to April 2021 tapering by 15mg every month or so until I reached approximately 50 mg(no w/d symptoms) 

Since April 2021 tapered once by 5% and once by 10% of the last dose because I'm not stable enough for w/d. 

Current dose 50mg venlafaxin

No other medication. 

No supplements

Stopped smoking 29.12.2021

No alcohol 

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11 minutes ago, kostakonkordia said:

That's ok just telling you that this is not a doomsday scenario in any way and that there is a reason behind this besides receptor rearrangement. 

i just don't want to hear about the microbiome thing. it's 100% true that gut health and brain health are related, but there are millions of people with SIBO etc who have no sexual issues. i would guess that most people, especially in the states, have a screwed up microbiome. that theory is grasping at straws. the reality is that most cases do not see significant improvement (and yes i know that there are a few exceptions in the success stories on this site and on other sites). any. cure for PSSD is not going to come from reddit.

-lexapro 10mg daily from 2012 to 2021 (halfed dose in 4/2021, went all the way off 6/21)

-various benzos 2014-2019... valium 2019-10/2021~20mg, inconsistent but daily dosing
10/9-17.5mg 10/23-15m 11/29 - 12.5 12/24 - 12 12/31 - 11.5 
2/27/22 - 11 3/31 - 10.5 4/14 - 10 5/3 - 9.5 5/15 - 9 6/6 - 8.5

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15 hours ago, canaanstongue01 said:

i just don't want to hear about the microbiome thing. it's 100% true that gut health and brain health are related, but there are millions of people with SIBO etc who have no sexual issues. i would guess that most people, especially in the states, have a screwed up microbiome. that theory is grasping at straws. the reality is that most cases do not see significant improvement (and yes i know that there are a few exceptions in the success stories on this site and on other sites). any. cure for PSSD is not going to come from reddit.

Ohhh I tell you when the cure comes from anywhere, it will come from reddit. I give you my word for that. 

People are constantly getting tested for various things, reporting their symptoms, researching. 

It's a nonstop discussion. 

Wait and see... 

Btw people have been tested positive for sibo, dysbiosis, various autoantibodys that attac small fibers, dopamin receptors, cell nucleus. 

So obviously protracted withdrawal and pssd are not some sort of desensitization or some kind of bs, they should absolutely be treatable when we know the core cause. 

People have had miraculous healings with inositol and stuff so no permanent damage is involved, at least not significant... 

Edited by kostakonkordia

Ad's since 2016 (I was 16 then...) (Escitalopram) 

Nov 2018 switch to venlafaxin 150mg

Nov 2019 to march 2020 tapered by 37,5mg to cero. (breakdown, minor w/d symptoms for a few days only panic attacks followed by deep depression came a month later duo to stress). 

Reinstated venla 150mg in Juli 2020.

Nov 2020 to April 2021 tapering by 15mg every month or so until I reached approximately 50 mg(no w/d symptoms) 

Since April 2021 tapered once by 5% and once by 10% of the last dose because I'm not stable enough for w/d. 

Current dose 50mg venlafaxin

No other medication. 

No supplements

Stopped smoking 29.12.2021

No alcohol 

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17 hours ago, canaanstongue01 said:

I appreciate the replies stitch. how long have you had anhedonia? i went down the very dark "this is permanent" hole again today. it happens when i start thinking too much about pssd. it all just feels so hopeless, you know?

Oh yeah. Totally understand the hopeless feeling. The dark "this is permanent hole" is a visitor. I try not to give it any attention or I could start spiraling. Even the most hopeful people I have run into have that problem. But I can't assume the worst case scenario. (For the record I do spiral) 

 

How long?.... Shoot. I don't really like keeping track because I worried about how it will make me feel.  But since you asked, about 10 months. 

 

We don't really know the pssd and anhedonia connection. Most people have their sex drive affected in some way. But I have found people with anhedonia who say they have no pssd. One said they just couldn't get the interest to talk to a person enough to lead to sex. We know it it is possible to recover from waiting it out. But pssd isn't my focus, so I really just told you all I know about it. 

 

 

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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Anyone here also struggling with total blank mind? 
 

I cant visualize anything, even if i try. I can hardly think and hold conversations, even if i try. I have no imagination and creativity. My mind is just empty. 
 

Loss of visualization is the worst for me. I cant see anything is my mind, and it really impairs my creativity, imagination and memory. I cant remember my mums face at all. Its just disturbing.
 

Anyone know of/heard of any success stories from this?

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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On 1/14/2022 at 4:30 AM, BrokenWings said:

@kostakonkordia Thank you for the information and guidance. No, I stopped all drugs at the start of my journey nearly 48 months ago.

You may want to look at BPC 157. 

Alot of people have said it's been a miracle for them 

 

Please see ALTO's RESPONSE to this Averus32's post:

 

10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

We are not receptive to random experimental treatment suggestions here. Many of our members have become hypersensitive to all kinds of things. Your suggestion seems especially random, given there's next to no information about this substance and zero evidence it's helpful for drug withdrawal syndromes.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added link to Alto's response post

Prozac/Fluoxetine - October 2016 - April 2017 

Citalopram - October 2018 - June 2021

Mirtazapine - June 2021 - August 2021

Prozac - October 2021 - November 2021

Trazodone - November 2021 - March 2022

Sertraline - June 2022 - present

 

Emotional blunting/ Anhedonia being the main symptom. 

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@Averus32Are you seriously suggesting people take an experimental peptide? A substance that is not approved for human clinical use by any global regulatory authority and it may lead to negative health effects.

 

https://www.usada.org/spirit-of-sport/education/bpc-157-peptide-prohibited/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BPC-157

 

Suggestions like this are extremely dangerous. Please do some research before recommending unproven methods that could easily further harm people.

BrokenWings: Introduction

 

Zoloft (Sertraline) 50 mg to 150 mg
Start Date: 2/1/2000
End Date: 1/26/2018

Quit cold turkey, Quit multiple times using recommended tapering from a psychiatrist over 2 weeks, Quit using rapid taper over about 1 year 150mg to 100mg to 75mg to 50 mg to 25 mg to 12.5 mg to 0mg.

 

Klonopin (Clonazepam) 0.5 mg as needed
Start Date: 2/1/2000
End Date: 3/1/2000

Quit cold turkey after one month.

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  • Administrator
52 minutes ago, Averus32 said:

You may want to look at BPC 157. 

Alot of people have said it's been a miracle for them 

 

We are not receptive to random experimental treatment suggestions here. Many of our members have become hypersensitive to all kinds of things. Your suggestion seems especially random, given there's next to no information about this substance and zero evidence it's helpful for drug withdrawal syndromes.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

We are not receptive to random experimental treatment suggestions here. Many of our members have become hypersensitive to all kinds of things. Your suggestion seems especially random, given there's next to no information about this substance and zero evidence it's helpful for drug withdrawal syndromes.

On 1/13/2022 at 5:30 PM, BrokenWings said:

 

Really sorry if this offended anyone, I don't mean any malice and I'm fairly new here. 

I've just read a few stories on Reddit posts that called it promising. 

 

One user that was on antipsychotics on r/Anhedonia said it had pretty much cured him. 

Prozac/Fluoxetine - October 2016 - April 2017 

Citalopram - October 2018 - June 2021

Mirtazapine - June 2021 - August 2021

Prozac - October 2021 - November 2021

Trazodone - November 2021 - March 2022

Sertraline - June 2022 - present

 

Emotional blunting/ Anhedonia being the main symptom. 

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  • Administrator

Reddit is not a good source of drug withdrawal information. People claim all kinds of things.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Have have been getting worse the last few days. More anhedonia and have lost my inner voice. Its totally gone. My visualization abilities are also totally gone. 

The only new thing is that i have started drinking hot water with lemon. 

Could lemon extract/juice cause a worsening?

 

Sorry, but my food paranoia is back full force. I just dont know why i keep on getting worse.

 

I also crashed from ginger four weeks ago, and i am still getting worse. Is that normal? 

When you crash from ginger or other supplements, it should happen the same day or the next, and not day or weeks after right? The ginger is not that powerful to cause worsening symptoms for days or weeks? 

 

I had worsening symptoms a few hours after the ginger. But then four days later i had a completely new symptom that keep getting worse. Six days later i noticed reduced orgasm and then anorgasmia. And a week later my anhedonia got way worse.

 

is that normal patters with crashes? From just one ice tea with ginger? 


I would think i am just unlucky and my symptoms just keep worsening naturally. I just dont understand the mechanism

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Anyone got rid of their Anhedonia?

Zoloft, November 2019.  I worked up to 50 mg and stayed there until 1 year later. I tapered for 3 months, which should consider to be cold turkey.
Tapering schedule:
Month 1: 37.5 mg

Month 2: 25 mg

Month 3: 12.5 mg

Month 4(Half the month): 6.75 mg
Month 4(Other half): 0 mg December 9, 2020

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Been off everything for a few weeks now. Don’t get me wrong, I know a few weeks is a small amount of time. But my severe anhedonia hit 7 months ago aswell as a strange headache/pins and needles/numbness on the right side of my brain around my ear(not temples). Every day since I’ve had these symptoms. Can’t help but link the 2, and it feels like brain damage which is stopping my positive emotions. Even the the mri was normal. 
 

Now I’m off all meds, how long do the ‘headache’ symptoms normally last? Is it usually the first or last to go? 
 

Has anyone found anything that helps with this sort of ‘headache’? Paracetamol and ibuprofen don’t touch it. 
 

Has anyone tried the anhedonia support Jackie Kelm flatlining course? I’m getting desperate, my kids are growing up so fast and I can’t feel a thing for them. 
 

don’t feel like these are withdrawals, as I got them as soon as I started venlafaxine, before I tapered so it seems more of an adverse reaction. Is that more likely to cause worse ‘damage’? Less likely to recover or longer time to recover? 
 

thanks if anyone can answer any or this 

Citalapram 15mg upped to 30mg over about 2 months.not sure dates. 
 

put on venlafaxine in hospital 75-150-225 from October to December. I noticed I had severe anhedonia on this so asked to come off at 150 but they insisted at home to full dose. (But me on quitiapine 50-100mg for sleep towards the end). 2 weeks from top dose off being off(as they suggested, I didn’t know any better)
 

december they put me on setraline, but it give me a really bad headache so wasn’t on that very long at all. 
 

since then I’ve been on mirtazapine 15-30-45. Not coming down. With no positive emotions, can’t love my kids, can’t feel joy, can’t laugh, can’t get excited ever since venlafaxine! 
 

got a strange head sensation (not brain zaps) is a constant on the right hand side of my head. Feel like numbness and bruising of my brain… feel like it’s contributing to my lack of emotions. 

took me a couple of months but I’m down to 22.5mg, not getting any withdrawals to note, just that my lack of emotion is killing me an the head sensation is there. But they have been a problem since I was on venlafaxine in October. And not a withdrawal symptom either as I noticed them when I was on the venlafaxine.

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Anyone experience reduced smell and taste (not covid)

 

I have reduced smell and taste since having dpdr and anhedonia. 

 

I cant smell the ocean or the freshly cut grass. I cant taste much either.

What i can smell does not make me Feel anything. If i smell tea, coffee or my favourite food, it does not make me Feel anything and i dont associate it with anything.

 

When i eat, what i taste is just bland and does not make me Feel anything. I know its my favourite food, but its like i cant «Feel» or taste the flavour. It could be cardboard for all i new. 
 

It is like i smell with my nose and not with my brain, and i taste with my mouth and not with my brain.

 

Anyone else Feel like this?

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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Hi! @Sofa

 

I had that symptom during my tapering period. I remember being at a birthday party, and while eating cookies and cream ice cream with the birthday cake, I could only feel a mushy texture with grains of sand in it (the cookies XD), everyone else was delighted with the cake flavor. Sometimes I couldn't feel any flavor at all, but most of the time it was just very reduced. This was long before covid, (2017 maybe) so there's no way it was covid.

 

As for the smell I can't tell. Maybe I wasn't smelling, but I just didn't notice I don't know. But I know taste and smell are related. But for sure I lost my ability to taste properly for quite some time. I'm back to normal now. I think I had it in varying intensities for at least a year after fishing my taper.

 

But the anhedonia is still hitting hard. 

 

Green tea makes me crash, I have never noticed it with ginger, but everyone is different.

 

@curiousnootropics 

 

I'm about to be 3 years off meds (in 3 months). The anhedonia has gotten better, I can cry, I can laugh, I can meditate. What bothers me the most right now is that it's really hard to get myself motivated to do anything, I can't even get interested in the things I like. 

Through time this  has been improving, in windows and waves. There was a time I couldn't even cry, I felt like I had no soul, this heals very slowly, but it heals.

 

 

 

 

 

  • Started Taking Cymbalta on Dec 31 2015. Went from 30 mg, up to 120 mg until Oct 2016
  • Oct 2016:  fast tapered per doctor's instructions,  in just 2 weeks went from 120 to 90 to 60 mg 
  • CT from 60 mg to 0 and then reinstated after 3 days, then found the 10% method.
  • Tapering since October 2016, lowering by 10% of dose reductions (of original dose which was too fast)
  • May 2017: 7.2 mg/day
  • Nov 2017: 2.7 mg/day  tapered to fast, took a rest
  • Jan 2018: started reducing 2 pellets per month (took more than a month if needed)
  • August 2018: 1.8 mg/day  (10 pellets left)
  • September 2018: 9 pellets left
  • January 2019: 5 pellets left(reducing 1 pellet per month)
  • June 25 2019: last bead taken
  • Forever Free!!!
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1 hour ago, PapayaShake said:

Hi! @Sofa

 

I had that symptom during my tapering period. I remember being at a birthday party, and while eating cookies and cream ice cream with the birthday cake, I could only feel a mushy texture with grains of sand in it (the cookies XD), everyone else was delighted with the cake flavor. Sometimes I couldn't feel any flavor at all, but most of the time it was just very reduced. This was long before covid, (2017 maybe) so there's no way it was covid.

 

As for the smell I can't tell. Maybe I wasn't smelling, but I just didn't notice I don't know. But I know taste and smell are related. But for sure I lost my ability to taste properly for quite some time. I'm back to normal now. I think I had it in varying intensities for at least a year after fishing my taper.

 

But the anhedonia is still hitting hard. 

 

Green tea makes me crash, I have never noticed it with ginger, but everyone is different.

 

@curiousnootropics 

 

I'm about to be 3 years off meds (in 3 months). The anhedonia has gotten better, I can cry, I can laugh, I can meditate. What bothers me the most right now is that it's really hard to get myself motivated to do anything, I can't even get interested in the things I like. 

Through time this  has been improving, in windows and waves. There was a time I couldn't even cry, I felt like I had no soul, this heals very slowly, but it heals.

 

 

 

 

 

Just watching a guy on YouTube called Russell B and he pretty much went through a cocktail of drugs and he said it took four years to get his inner monologue back and how he could think better and he's really put me at peace with this whole healing process. 

 

I've been off meds now for 2 months and there has been a big difference. I can feel the world around me a little better. 

I'm still flat, but I'm gonna try different things should as the Wim Hof breathing method and try some cold showers and get the Vagus Nerve working for me. 

 

I don't wanna touch another med again. 

Prozac/Fluoxetine - October 2016 - April 2017 

Citalopram - October 2018 - June 2021

Mirtazapine - June 2021 - August 2021

Prozac - October 2021 - November 2021

Trazodone - November 2021 - March 2022

Sertraline - June 2022 - present

 

Emotional blunting/ Anhedonia being the main symptom. 

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Anyone here tried B12 and seen any affect on their symptoms?

 

I apparently have a pretty bad deficiency, and my Doctor wants me to take injections!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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57 minutes ago, Sofa said:

Anyone here tried B12 and seen any affect on their symptoms?

 

I apparently have a pretty bad deficiency, and my Doctor wants me to take injections!

Sometimes it's made me feel a lot better, but I stopped taking it as the majority of the time it made me feel over stimulated.

10 years on various anti-depressants

5 years Effexor xr

tappered of 150mg in 6 months

nothing for two weeks

Reinstated 15 beads for 50 days

Tappered off then clean 2-3months

gradually went back up to 13 mg 3 years

bridged fluoxetine 10mg

2 week tapper

1 year clean

reinstated 5ml dispersed fluroxatine for 6months

 

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4 hours ago, Sofa said:

Anyone here tried B12 and seen any affect on their symptoms?

 

I apparently have a pretty bad deficiency, and my Doctor wants me to take injections!

b12 foods?

Zoloft, November 2019.  I worked up to 50 mg and stayed there until 1 year later. I tapered for 3 months, which should consider to be cold turkey.
Tapering schedule:
Month 1: 37.5 mg

Month 2: 25 mg

Month 3: 12.5 mg

Month 4(Half the month): 6.75 mg
Month 4(Other half): 0 mg December 9, 2020

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27 minutes ago, curiousnootropics said:

b12 foods?

Doctor wants me to take injections of b12. She says food wont correct this bad of a deficiency alone. 
 

I may also have trouble absorbing B12 through my gut, and that is why i am deficient?

 

Do you know if B12 supplements can make anhedonia worse?

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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On 1/7/2022 at 10:21 AM, Nic123 said:

The thing that has been plauguing me the most the past couple months are these weird vision changes, I cant even describe it reaaly but everything looks like it has a slight hazyness to it and i get these white sort of brain noise blotches on everything. Its very minor but still noticable all the time and i hate it. im not sure if this is just visual snow or something

 

I also would love to know if emotional numbness is exactly what i have where my brain feels completely void of any type of sensation? is that what emotional numbness is? The only way i can really describe it is like every chemical that makes up the brain has been sucked out and im left with just eternal darkness. Like i will wake in the morning and im just blank with no feeling to get up etc. But i wonder is that what depression is also like to 

 

I'm still positive its a type of frontal lobe damage, could also explain my massive reduced sense of smell and taste and sexual dysfunction. 

Hey how r you does it get better for you? I have also similar symptoms like you.. After taking antidepressants...plz do reply me

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Does Anyone know the mechanism behind How antidepressants can cause lasting PSSD and anhedonia? 
 

I have been off for five months and have not seen improvements, only gotten worse. I would love to understand what is actually happening in the brain 

 

Any theories?

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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@Sofa

 

36 minutes ago, Sofa said:

Does Anyone know the mechanism behind How antidepressants can cause lasting PSSD and anhedonia? 

 

I'm not sure this mechanism is known to anyone -- as far as I know, the science just doesn't exist. 

 

37 minutes ago, Sofa said:

I would love to understand what is actually happening in the brain 

 

I hear you. It is intriguing and mysterious and highly complex.

Are you feeling curious? Curiosity is a good sign!

 

 

Do you know this post on How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

Here's an interesting post on What is happening in your brain.

 

One theory of antidepressant withdrawal syndrome

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

 

In terms of anhedonia specifically, have you read through this whole topic from the beginning? There's a lot of information.

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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@Ariel

I have tried to read and do research, but had a concussion a few weeks ago and my brain dont work so well right now. 
 

Struggle a lot with reading and get too tired, so really hard looking up and understanding information sadly. 
 

Therefor it is easier now to ask. Have not been able to read the whole topic. Too overwhelming for my brain sadly. 
 

Hope it gets better though 

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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On 5/17/2022 at 8:22 AM, Averus32 said:

Just watching a guy on YouTube called Russell B and he pretty much went through a cocktail of drugs and he said it took four years to get his inner monologue back and how he could think better and he's really put me at peace with this whole healing process. 

 

I've been off meds now for 2 months and there has been a big difference. I can feel the world around me a little better. 

I'm still flat, but I'm gonna try different things should as the Wim Hof breathing method and try some cold showers and get the Vagus Nerve working for me. 

 

I don't wanna touch another med again. 


How has the cold showers & breathing methods working for you??

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

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On 5/29/2022 at 8:19 AM, Sofa said:

Does Anyone know the mechanism behind How antidepressants can cause lasting PSSD and anhedonia? 

Just wanted to chime in on this topic. The worst form of anhedonia I had was during my benzo usage and withdrawals. When I got a window, it went completely away and I felt connected to those I loved and even nature. Fall has always been my favorite time of year, and it was good to feel that excitement again. 

 

Unfortunately I made the mistake of starting an AD about 16 months into my recovery during a particularly brutal wave. And while I have been relatively stable these past 10 years, nothing as felt as good as those windows i had during my time med free. Especially that autumn of 2011, a memory I will forever cherish. 

 

Withdrawal anhedonia was a lot worse (for me at least) than medication induced anhedonia. That said, I feel like I missed out on truly appreciating the good things that have happened in my life these past 10 years because of the emotional numbness from ADs. I am just waiting for "autumn to return" and I know it will once I finally get off sertraline and get through withdrawal. 

 

One consideration though, it is important to always get a thorough check up by a doctor. A fellow member of my benzo forum was over 2 years into recovery and was unable to feel feelings or happiness. She was waiting for withdrawal to take its course. By some chance some a member suggested she get tested for Lymes. Sure enough she had it, got treatment and improved from there.

 

If your anhedonia is from withdrawal/med usage it will most likely go away with time. It is still important to rule out other possibilities. 

 

2008: March, Klonopin .5 mg to 1 mg

2009: Dec, CT Klonopin

2010: full year heavy alcohol use

2011: Jan - withdrawals start

2012: Apr- bad wave, start zoloft 50

2014 to 2020: Switch ADs

Sertraline 100mgs >Lexapro 20 mgs>Prozac 20 mgs >Lexapro 20

2021: Sertraline 25 mgs

2022: Mar. Cut dose down to 12.5

End of May, starting to crash physically/mentally.

 

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@Kaervin

 

I think my anhedonia and loss of emotions is pretty bad.

 

I dont react to anything, any external or internal stimulus.

 

I listen to music and Feel nothing, i look at my favourite tv show and Feel nothing. If i laugh it feels fake because i cant Feel it in my mind and body. 
 

I cant Feel any motivation, interest, pleasure, joy, love, sadness etc.

 

All my senses are dulled. I can smell, but it does not make me Feel anything, i can taste, but food taste bland because i cant «feel»

the food. I also dont Feel touch. I can take i shower but the warm water does not Feel nice. I dont Feel connected to my body. It is like my presence left and when i touch my arm i dont Feel it like before. It is not my arm because my presence is not in there. I can Feel the floor under my feet, but at the same time it feels different and like it is dulled somehow. Like there is some kind of barrier.

 

I cant Feel emotions in my body either. Like i can force myself to cry, but i cant Feel it, so there is no reliese!

 

I also cant Feel comfort or calm ever. And my akathisia makes that really hard
 

Is this really bad?

 

I Feel like i am in a strange body. It feels to light. When i lay in bed it does not sink into the bed at all. I can somewhat Feel the clothes on my body, but it is strange and too light and dulled. Like my skin is numb 
 

I have no connection to my body and my emotions and comfort is gone!

June-July -21 Zyprexa 2.5-7.5 mg 

July -21 Mianserin 20 mg four days

July-Aug -21 Valium 30 mg a day, tapred, return of symptoms 

Aug-Oct -21 Oxazepam Tapred from 10 mg x 3 to zero

Dec-Jan -21/22 On and off mirtazapine 15 mg. Kindling reaction?

March 8.-19. - Zopiclone 7.5 mg to combat insomnia 

March 20 - 5 mg valium because of akathisia and panic 

April 3. - 5 mg x 2

 

 
 

 

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7 hours ago, Sofa said:

Is this really bad?

 

I Feel like i am in a strange body. It feels to light. When i lay in bed it does not sink into the bed at all. I can somewhat Feel the clothes on my body, but it is strange and too light and dulled. Like my skin is numb 
 

I have no connection to my body and my emotions and comfort is gone!

Keep in mind you are still coming off medications. Mental numbness/flatness is a side effect of being on these meds and the akathisia is a symptom of coming off of them. Akathisia is a very distracting symptom that demands all your attention, thus it is reasonable that you won't have any emotional energy left over to feel the smaller joys in life, such as taste of food or warmth of the shower water.

 

Once you are completely off, things won't immediately go back to normal. Yes, hearing that it could take years to fully heal does sound unbearably terrifying. But remember that when people state they took years to heal, that doesn't mean it was all 100% torture until one day everything disappeared. You will experience windows/glimpses into what your future medfree body will ultimately become along the way. 

 

After being emotionless for so long, you may even not be fully prepared on how to process the sudden influx of feelings you haven't experienced in a long time. When that time comes, be sure to write down how wonderful it is just in case it is a small window. That way during your dark waves you will have something to remind yourself. 

 

You have the capacity and right to become a success story just as much as anyone else. 

2008: March, Klonopin .5 mg to 1 mg

2009: Dec, CT Klonopin

2010: full year heavy alcohol use

2011: Jan - withdrawals start

2012: Apr- bad wave, start zoloft 50

2014 to 2020: Switch ADs

Sertraline 100mgs >Lexapro 20 mgs>Prozac 20 mgs >Lexapro 20

2021: Sertraline 25 mgs

2022: Mar. Cut dose down to 12.5

End of May, starting to crash physically/mentally.

 

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Hey, I'm writing this because I'm both curious and a little desperate. Actually, very desperate. I'm scared I ruined myself. 

 

I'm curious if anyone's taken a supplement and became more numb as a result? If so, did that numbness ease off a little afterwards? 

 

You could've been numb already or someone who wasn't numb, but became numb. I just want to find out if anyone did take a supplement and it caused them to become numb, did it fade off eventually? 

 

Hope this makes sense. My head feels like it's been replaced by a robots. I feel nothing again... I was recovering as well... 😨

Riseridone (dose unknown) 2010 (no approximate end, short-term use), Aspergers. Tapered. Fluxoetine 10mg 13/14. Direct switch to -- Citalopram 2014/14. Quetiapine 2014/14. 1 week. (Cold turkey, advised by NHS). 

Risperidone, 20th March 2016, cold turkey April 10th, 2016 Zoloft, April, 2016, 25mg, increased to 50mg in May, increased to 100mg in late 2016, decreased to 50mg, September 2019(Accidentally)weaned myself off. Reinstated Zoloft 50mg for 3 days - March 23rd to 26th. Early 2021 (changed brand of Zoloft. Tapered down. Med free since 11th February. Waiting to see if any windows happen). Supplements (occasionally l theanine 300mg, trialing CBD) Took a small light dab of powder, barely a compound. Deciding to wait and see what happens afterwards, not wanting to reinstate now. 

 

Took a small dose of L-Theanine (under 20mg). Negative reaction included: sweating, mania, head pressure, head tingling, worse insomnia. Not touching anything ever again. 

 

Anhedonic since March 2020!

Using a THC free edible on the 5th June ruined everything. Insomnia, no appetite, numbness, DP/DR.

 

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I reinstated and although it greatly helped other symptoms it only restored sad emotions and ability to cry although my head feels much more filled in and doesn't feel like void and the cottony sensation is gone. I had to do it to avoid hospitalization and forced medication with other drugs.  It did take away 75% of physical symptoms and severe anxiety. Everything improvement happened slowly.  No windows or waves.  I still seem to be getting very gradual improvements and there are a few stories where people reinstated and it took months to over a year for improvements to come. I think I am going to microtaper if I hold at my current stabilization for a couple months.  I was only 3 weeks out from last dose when I did it.  I went up pretty slow too.  Taken as a whole it improved symptoms about 65%.  Still improving with  my body sensations are markedly increased and my brain fog is gone. Reduced secualbissues. Less anxiety has made it possible to go out sometimes though it's still a chore.  I got off the remeron for sleep and now just melatonin and my supplements.  

Recent 2018 Zoloft 150mg  (20 years taking at various times, no real issues before stopping)

2019 Risperdal one month low dose (forget amount) stopped bad reaction

2019 Remeron 7.5 mg sleep  (discontinued in mid 2019) on for six months (tapered for a few weeks)

Zoloft 100 mg Summer 2020/Zoloft 75 mg Summer 2021

Zoloft 50 mg November 2021/ Zoloft 25 mg First two weeks January 2022: Reinstated 50 mgJanuary Last week)

Crash in February - on and off doses as doctors conflicted over serotonin syndrome/withdrawal - stopped all for two week & resumed:\

Other drugs tried in hospitals (Abilify, 1mg, 1 dose, Zyprexa 1 dose 1mg, Klonopin .25 4 doses in 2 hospitalizations)

March 1 titrated Zoloft up from 0 to 65 from February to Early May

Severe vision problems at 65 mg (improved depression)

Taper to 55 6/15, 45mg 7/15/ 35mg 8/1, 25mg 8/15, 10 mg, 8/31 OFF 9/2022 Omg  Improved with drops from August to September - November crash ONE dose Zoloft 3mg 11/17 - worsened symptoms - Remain off Zoloft

Mirtazapine -3.5 mg six weeks mid march to end april, occasionally for sleep

Supplements: Fish oil, magnesium, lions mane, cytokine suppress, MCT Oil

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