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alexjuice

Feelings Towards My Doctor

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Aria

 

What is really biting me is how antidepressants are now the frontline standard for pain management. If I go to a doctor for pain, and he puts me on Vicodin instead of antidepressants, then he puts himself at great risk for losing his license or being sued. If I were to overdose on those opiates and my family sued the doctor, he'd have to answer the question "why didn't you stick to the standard of treatment by giving her antidepressants?" and he could lose it all. This is infuriating. I've had to really fight to get past the frontline treatment of antidepressants and into the older courses of treatment for pain management. Doctors don't like that.

 

Shanti,

 

You hit on my hot topic with this. I was treated succeszfully for years with opiates for chronic pain that also helped significantly for mood independent of pain. Then treatment changed with scare tactics concerning opiates and in support of SNRIs for pain.

 

I know what has helped me and when I was functional. I also know what was far easier to withdraw from: opiates. I believe the "war on drugs" is benefitting pharma and through use of more profitable, daily maintenance therapies.

 

Thank you for your input on the legalities of these issues, Shanti. Very enlightening.

 

I take opiates for chronic pain (my neuro disease). I have c/t a few times when I was seeing a jerk doctor and couldn't get refills. It made for an uncomfortable weekend but I pulled through. This was not nearly as awful as me coming off an anti-depressant or the frightful psychotics. I'd been given the multitude of so-called psyche pain controllers, not one remotely worked and they made me psychically ill. How in the hell I ever managed to be on 5 to 7 psych meds at a time?

 

How did psych drugs get considered to control pain?? I agree with Barbara and Shanti...was the war on opiates started because Big Pharma wanted more customers on their drugs instead?

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starlitegirlx

How did psych drugs get considered to control pain?? I agree with Barbara and Shanti...was the war on opiates started because Big Pharma wanted more customers on their drugs instead?

 

Absolutely. It's always about the money. There's no logical reason and no research to prove that psych drugs help pain beyond treatment for depression that is triggered by pain. However, that is really a form of malpractice given it's situational and situational depression is treated by helping a person develop the best coping skills they can rather than drugging them. Situational depression is never cured by ADs. That's a big pharma money grubbing tactic that has no basis in science. Big pharma, in case you haven't noticed is big on treating symptoms rather than providing cures. More money in the long run that way since the problem never goes away so the well never dries.

 

I wonder if all the people involved in this scam that causes massive suffering to so many have any clue. I'm talking about the scientists who work on creating the drugs and testing them. I wonder how ignorant they are and if they learned of the trauma they cause people by their participation in this would they quit their job or just turn a blind eye? I suspect the latter, which brings me to the old saying that the the only way evil thrives or persists is by good men doing nothing. There you have it. Sums up our society pretty darn well I think.

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Barbarannamated

Circling back to the original topic... it is the psychiatrists at a major teaching hospital who required that I go into their detox program to discontinue oxycodone that I took under strict MD supervision. The psychiatrists blamed oxy for "interfering with SS/NRIs at mu opioid receptors" and that is why my depression was resistant to treatment. My primary pain doctor and anothe pain specialist i consulted had never heard of this. They suggested I go to a different psychiatry program. I did and they claimed the same interference. I went into the detox program where they CTd both oxycodone and Klonopin. It was the most traumatic experience of my life. I was treated exactly like the street addicts in the same program. When I finally convinced my husband to get me out of there after 3 days (AMA), the medical director told me I would be dead by age 48 if I left. Well, I'm 50 now, so... I guess they were wrong about a few things.

 

If ever I had the opportunity to take legal action against doctors, it would be them. My primary psychiatrist was always respectful of me as a person.

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Barbarannamated

My predominant feeling is fear rather than anger, for three reasons:

 

1) Over the past two years, I've been misdiagnosed three times by three different doctors, two of them specialists, in the context of three serious conditions;

 

2) The off-label prescribing of antidepressants, antipsychotics, et cetera means that I'm going to have to second-guess every medication prescribed for me until the day I die. What if I'm unconscious or otherwise incapable or saying "NO!" at the time? Will I have to go through withdrawal hell again?; and

 

3) Given that I may need a diagnosis and medication at some future date, to whom do I turn? I no longer trust mainstream medicine, and while I've turned out to be talented at self-diagnosis I often take a long time to figure out what's wrong. Do I just lay down and die? I tend toward choosing this last option rather than receive inappropriate and likely painful or sickening treatment.

 

Agree 100%. In my experience, doctors have been wrong FAR MORE OFTEN than they've been right. In a few cases, I had to tell them what I thought was wrong, only to have them disagree and then finally (sometimes years later) agree to my original thinking.

 

Our society /world gives doctors far more credit than deserved. It's frightening to realize how hit or miss medicine truly is.

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Nikki

Barb...

 

I agree with you. I don't know how to inform Doctors of WD and how some antidepressants are virtually impossible to get off of. Leave info in the Waiting Room????

 

I was always led to believe that Opiates were extremely difficult to get off of, more than an AD. Now there were two posts here about that not being true.

 

My daughter was addicted to a pain killer and she weaned herself off of it. Yet she can't off Imipramine unless she does a slow taper. She is in remission from her illness and is doing well. I was cleaning her room and there was an Rx there for the pain killer and she never filled it. Soooo she got off of it and is not going back. And yet she can't do that with an AD.

 

What you are saying must be true.

 

Crazy.....and they told us they were not an addictive substance like benzos or opirates :blink:

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Barbarannamated

Nikki, was your daughter addicted per the definition... escalating dose, drug seeking, getting in trouble (with law) to obtain opiates, etc.? Just a rhetorical question. Doctors (and media) convince people that they are ADDICTED when, in actuality, they are physically dependent and not addicted.

 

At this point, I believe STRONG Informed Consent before ever initiating therapy would be a good 1st step. As I've related my experience to people over the last year, I later learned that several were on SS/NRIs, didn't tell me, and DCd on their own (including my husband's 6 week taper off of Effexor after 20 years on SS/NRIs). I've become very cautious of what I say and always caution about careful tapering.

 

It's a tricky situation that I havent figured out how to handle. If someone is stable, I don't encourage discontinuation. There's too much risk of harm if done without extreme caution and even under close supervision of doctor, we've seen what happens.

 

I use the opiate comparison because "opiate abuse and overprescribing" is a heated topic in my home. Husband does Drug Utilization Review for Work Comp (many chronic pain patients) and knows my personal experience. Several people on this forum have related the same experience. Ive noticed a tremendous improvement in pain since using estrogen patches also. When I mentioned it to my endocrinologist, he nodded as if saying "of course". A quick literature search revealed that estrogen is a potent pain modulator as well as antidepressant, but rarely, if ever, used as a "pain med" like SS/NRIs. Did pharma up the heat on the negative press on hormone replacement trials?? Call me skeptical.

 

My intention is not to minimize opiate danger but put it in perspective. Avoiding all drugs is the best scenario.

 

The #1 red flag statement from a doctor is having to take a drug *whose mechanism of action is unknown* for the rest of life, IMO. I was never told that I'd have to be on opiates the rest of my life.

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Shanti

Maybe this will help some with future trouble with the bias and judgment placed on us. Since my hospital stay hell a couple of years ago, I had a talk with my new doctor. He said he'd be happy to advocate for me if I ever end up in the hospital. He agreed that my treatment was appalling. There were two issues. The first is what I mentioned before, about being misdiagnosed simply because I was on Xanax, and the result was that it almost killed me. The second is that the surgeon had me on strict orders for the week I was in hospital to only have IV fluids. Nothing by mouth. The only thing they could give me was Ativan by IV. I went into hellish withdrawals from the Cymbalta I was on at the time. And I likely had Xanax withdrawals as well. That hospital stay was the worst experience of my life. Nightmare. I talked to my doctor about this and he said they should never have c/t'd me off the Cymbalta like that, and that anytime I go to the ER or hospital to contact him and he'd advocate. I told all of my family this too, so they would be sure to contact him if I'm taken by ambulance to hospital. It was a relief to know that I now have a doctor that will stand up for me.

 

It was the same for me, my loss of faith in doctors. I now know there is so much they don't know. Things that they should know. Because of course there are things that science hasn't discovered yet, but these are things they should know and they don't. Ignorance and negligence imo.

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Barbarannamated

Maybe this will help some with future trouble with the bias and judgment placed on us. Since my hospital stay hell a couple of years ago, I had a talk with my new doctor. He said he'd be happy to advocate for me if I ever end up in the hospital. He agreed that my treatment was appalling. There were two issues. The first is what I mentioned before, about being misdiagnosed simply because I was on Xanax, and the result was that it almost killed me. The second is that the surgeon had me on strict orders for the week I was in hospital to only have IV fluids. Nothing by mouth. The only thing they could give me was Ativan by IV. I went into hellish withdrawals from the Cymbalta I was on at the time. And I likely had Xanax withdrawals as well. That hospital stay was the worst experience of my life. Nightmare. I talked to my doctor about this and he said they should never have c/t'd me off the Cymbalta like that, and that anytime I go to the ER or hospital to contact him and he'd advocate. I told all of my family this too, so they would be sure to contact him if I'm taken by ambulance to hospital. It was a relief to know that I now have a doctor that will stand up for me.

 

It was the same for me, my loss of faith in doctors. I now know there is so much they don't know. Things that they should know. Because of course there are things that science hasn't discovered yet, but these are things they should know and they don't. Ignorance and negligence imo.

 

Shanti,

You bring up an very interesting point that anyone could face at any time: the need for a non PO drug to cover for SS/NRIs should we be unable to take by mouth. Ive never considered this. As far as I know, there are no IV or IM formulations. Also, im sure many doctors wouldn't even consider the possibility of withdrawal considering that many don't believe it exists. With benzos, there is IV formulation of diazepam (Valium) and lorazepam (Ativan).

 

Am I missing something?

 

EDIT: It appears that citalopram is available IV, just FYI.

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Shanti

 

Maybe this will help some with future trouble with the bias and judgment placed on us. Since my hospital stay hell a couple of years ago, I had a talk with my new doctor. He said he'd be happy to advocate for me if I ever end up in the hospital. He agreed that my treatment was appalling. There were two issues. The first is what I mentioned before, about being misdiagnosed simply because I was on Xanax, and the result was that it almost killed me. The second is that the surgeon had me on strict orders for the week I was in hospital to only have IV fluids. Nothing by mouth. The only thing they could give me was Ativan by IV. I went into hellish withdrawals from the Cymbalta I was on at the time. And I likely had Xanax withdrawals as well. That hospital stay was the worst experience of my life. Nightmare. I talked to my doctor about this and he said they should never have c/t'd me off the Cymbalta like that, and that anytime I go to the ER or hospital to contact him and he'd advocate. I told all of my family this too, so they would be sure to contact him if I'm taken by ambulance to hospital. It was a relief to know that I now have a doctor that will stand up for me.

 

It was the same for me, my loss of faith in doctors. I now know there is so much they don't know. Things that they should know. Because of course there are things that science hasn't discovered yet, but these are things they should know and they don't. Ignorance and negligence imo.

 

Shanti,

You bring up an very interesting point that anyone could face at any time: the need for a non PO drug to cover for SS/NRIs should we be unable to take by mouth. Ive never considered this. As far as I know, there are no IV or IM formulations. Also, im sure many doctors wouldn't even consider the possibility of withdrawal considering that many don't believe it exists. With benzos, there is IV formulation of diazepam (Valium) and lorazepam (Ativan).

 

Am I missing something?

 

EDIT: It appears that citalopram is available IV, just FYI.

 

What does PO stand for? Yes this is very important. My hospital stay was my first taste of hell withdrawal. Ever since I've been scared to death that something will happen and I'll be denied my meds. I have a three month supply of Xanax stocked up just in case something happens like an earthquake or other natural disaster that would close the pharmacy for a while.

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compsports

Here is where I am confused.

 

When people have to go NPO for surgery or other medical procedures, they are still told to take meds as directed. As a result, why wouldn't that be applicable in all cases?

 

CS

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Barbarannamated

Here is where I am confused.

 

When people have to go NPO for surgery or other medical procedures, they are still told to take meds as directed. As a result, why wouldn't that be applicable in all cases?

 

CS

 

PO = through mouth, oral. NPO = nothing through mouth

There are Latin interpretations, but unsure of them

 

CS,

 

I'm thinking of a case where someone is not physically able to eat, drink, due to intubation or other condition and all meds have to be given IV or IM. I suspect most doctors would CT the antidepressant, thinking it won't be a problem.

 

I'm really not sure.

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Barbarannamated

 

 

Maybe this will help some with future trouble with the bias and judgment placed on us. Since my hospital stay hell a couple of years ago, I had a talk with my new doctor. He said he'd be happy to advocate for me if I ever end up in the hospital. He agreed that my treatment was appalling. There were two issues. The first is what I mentioned before, about being misdiagnosed simply because I was on Xanax, and the result was that it almost killed me. The second is that the surgeon had me on strict orders for the week I was in hospital to only have IV fluids. Nothing by mouth. The only thing they could give me was Ativan by IV. I went into hellish withdrawals from the Cymbalta I was on at the time. And I likely had Xanax withdrawals as well. That hospital stay was the worst experience of my life. Nightmare. I talked to my doctor about this and he said they should never have c/t'd me off the Cymbalta like that, and that anytime I go to the ER or hospital to contact him and he'd advocate. I told all of my family this too, so they would be sure to contact him if I'm taken by ambulance to hospital. It was a relief to know that I now have a doctor that will stand up for me.

 

It was the same for me, my loss of faith in doctors. I now know there is so much they don't know. Things that they should know. Because of course there are things that science hasn't discovered yet, but these are things they should know and they don't. Ignorance and negligence imo.

 

Shanti,

You bring up an very interesting point that anyone could face at any time: the need for a non PO drug to cover for SS/NRIs should we be unable to take by mouth. Ive never considered this. As far as I know, there are no IV or IM formulations. Also, im sure many doctors wouldn't even consider the possibility of withdrawal considering that many don't believe it exists. With benzos, there is IV formulation of diazepam (Valium) and lorazepam (Ativan).

 

Am I missing something?

 

EDIT: It appears that citalopram is available IV, just FYI.

 

What does PO stand for? Yes this is very important. My hospital stay was my first taste of hell withdrawal. Ever since I've been scared to death that something will happen and I'll be denied my meds. I have a three month supply of Xanax stocked up just in case something happens like an earthquake or other natural disaster that would close the pharmacy for a while.

 

Shanti,

 

Very wise to stock up, especially in our earthquake prone area. That scares me, too. My scripts are written so tightly, to within 3 days, and it's incredibly stressful.

 

PO = through mouth, oral

NPO = nothing through mouth

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compsports

 

PO = through mouth, oral. NPO = nothing through mouth

There are Latin interpretations, but unsure of them

 

CS,

 

I'm thinking of a case where someone is not physically able to eat, drink, due to intubation or other condition and all meds have to be given IV or IM. I suspect most doctors would CT the antidepressant, thinking it won't be a problem.

 

I'm really not sure.

 

Ah, my brain fog at work:) What you say makes total sense.

 

IV antidepressants seem to exist according to this article.

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14978779

 

I think it is a case of doctors being ignorant as they have been regarding compound prescriptions and not wanting to do the legwork. Since they don't think CTing an AD is any big deal, their attitude is why bother.

 

CS

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Shanti

 

 

 

Maybe this will help some with future trouble with the bias and judgment placed on us. Since my hospital stay hell a couple of years ago, I had a talk with my new doctor. He said he'd be happy to advocate for me if I ever end up in the hospital. He agreed that my treatment was appalling. There were two issues. The first is what I mentioned before, about being misdiagnosed simply because I was on Xanax, and the result was that it almost killed me. The second is that the surgeon had me on strict orders for the week I was in hospital to only have IV fluids. Nothing by mouth. The only thing they could give me was Ativan by IV. I went into hellish withdrawals from the Cymbalta I was on at the time. And I likely had Xanax withdrawals as well. That hospital stay was the worst experience of my life. Nightmare. I talked to my doctor about this and he said they should never have c/t'd me off the Cymbalta like that, and that anytime I go to the ER or hospital to contact him and he'd advocate. I told all of my family this too, so they would be sure to contact him if I'm taken by ambulance to hospital. It was a relief to know that I now have a doctor that will stand up for me.

 

It was the same for me, my loss of faith in doctors. I now know there is so much they don't know. Things that they should know. Because of course there are things that science hasn't discovered yet, but these are things they should know and they don't. Ignorance and negligence imo.

 

Shanti,

You bring up an very interesting point that anyone could face at any time: the need for a non PO drug to cover for SS/NRIs should we be unable to take by mouth. Ive never considered this. As far as I know, there are no IV or IM formulations. Also, im sure many doctors wouldn't even consider the possibility of withdrawal considering that many don't believe it exists. With benzos, there is IV formulation of diazepam (Valium) and lorazepam (Ativan).

 

Am I missing something?

 

EDIT: It appears that citalopram is available IV, just FYI.

 

What does PO stand for? Yes this is very important. My hospital stay was my first taste of hell withdrawal. Ever since I've been scared to death that something will happen and I'll be denied my meds. I have a three month supply of Xanax stocked up just in case something happens like an earthquake or other natural disaster that would close the pharmacy for a while.

 

Shanti,

 

Very wise to stock up, especially in our earthquake prone area. That scares me, too. My scripts are written so tightly, to within 3 days, and it's incredibly stressful.

 

PO = through mouth, oral

NPO = nothing through mouth

 

 

What can you do? It's not fair that our scripts are so tight like that. It was like that for me with the antidepressants too. I hated that! One time I went to refill my Vicodin and it took 2 weeks for it to get filled. 2 weeks past the date, so I was not early. But there was an issue with the supplier that not only affected my pharmacy, but all the pharmacies in my town! I was shocked when I was calling around everywhere and everyone was out of Vicodin. How many people suffered c/t withdrawals? Well, I'm sure many people's doctors just switched to another opiate to get them through. But still, that was ridiculous. It didn't affect me at all because I was backstocked on the Vicodin as well.

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Shanti

And yes when the surgeon says "PO" there is no talking him out of it! I tried. I told them I was suffering. The Ativan wasn't enough. I didn't know the Cymbalta withdrawal was what was causing the extreme discomfort like Akathasia. I just needed help big time and I knew a pill would help me. But they wouldn't give me more Ativan. The nurse tried to help me and took me on guided meditations to try to help me. All psyche meds should have an IV compatible type!

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alexjuice

I've felt especially mistreated by my old psychiatrist and have contemplated contacting a firm to discuss malpractice proceedings. I believe there are numerous ethical failings on his part and they deserve a hearing, though I don't know if ethical failings are sufficient to base a case for litigation.

 

I know I can't sue him because I had a bad time on psychiatric drugs but I'm curious if any of his gross misjudgements during the early years when he was doped up were technically illegal and if they can still be brought today, much later.

 

Also, I am not 100% sure he's sober today ...

 

Not sure if this has been floated, but open question: Anyone inquire about bringing a suit and what did you find out?

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alexjuice

Dug into state medical board records last night and doscovered that my old psychiatrist's license standing has been recently restored. The doctor (FG) was disciplined in 1994, then also in 2002. Both times were due to drug abuse. I understand his first problems were another state.

 

According to the records, DR FG claims he is ten years clear sober. I say BS, but whatever.

 

I gather he can once again dispense controlled substances, work from a dedicated office, and no longer needs to spend so many hrs at the soup kitchen.

 

FG is probably close to 60. I suspect he wants to work another decade. He's never gone a decade without being busted for drug abuse, except for this last ten years.

 

FYI: I quit FG in August of 2011 because I suspected drug abuse.

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Barbarannamated

To clarify...HE was abusing/taking drugs himself and not abusing his prescribing privileges..?

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alexjuice

To clarify...HE was abusing/taking drugs himself and not abusing his prescribing privileges..?

 

Well, there was an 'accuser' or whatever and the facts are in dispute, they always are with drugs.

 

He admits to overprescribing for one patient. He admits to prescribing for himself. He denies that he would prescribe for her in exchange that she 'split the Rx' with him, which she alleges. She also makes other allegations of impropriety which he denies.

 

Specifically, he admits to abusing opiates and benzodiazepines. He quit alcohol, probably at state request, about 25 years ago and never drank again. He's a pill head... though being a doctor he doesn't eat the pills, but right to the vein!

 

EDIT: The above concerns the 2002 disciplinary action. I don't know what happened in the other case. According to an employee at a law firm with access to nationwide records, he was disciplined for substance abuse 3 or 4 times, I can't recall which. Typically he'd get clean for seven years then relapse -- this he told me over the course of our relationship.

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Barbarannamated

Wow..

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alexjuice

Yea. It seemed like he'd successfully conceal his impaired for a year or two before he'd get caught. He'd get caught, stay clean about seven years, then start using, then within 1-3 be back before the board.

 

Relevant to my case, he admits to being impaired in 1999, 2000, 2001, and maybe 2002 as well. There's lag time with the lawyers before the board makes a judgment. I've read the case file in the 2002 charge.

 

I bet he ends up losing his license before he retires by choice.

 

Sad. For me and anyone else injured.

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Barbarannamated

Definitely.

 

I bet this scenario is not uncommon because the medical boards allow them to resume practice. That seems like an *all OK* to lay people/patients. JMHO.

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alexjuice

Definitely.

 

I bet this scenario is not uncommon because the medical boards allow them to resume practice. That seems like an *all OK* to lay people/patients. JMHO.

 

They lay people never know.

 

In 2002 when he went to rehab, his assistant canceled my appointments and told me he was out of town for indefinitely for a family emergency. I had no clue he had a drug problem, had multiple disciplinary actions against him and was then living in a residential inpatient rehab. I guess that he had no legal obligation to inform me.

 

And I saw Dr. Y recently, since his reinstatement. Y works in the same office. I mentioned that Dr. FG... that it's coming up on 10 years and she said, "Oh yeah... when is that?" His status wasn;t on her radar. And according to the records I just found, he had already been reinstated so ... I don't think he brings it up at all. Unless one keeps up with the medical board publications, it's impossible to know.

 

Like in 1997, it would have been nice if he told me, I was disciplined just three years ago for drug abuse. (And it'd be amazing if he said in 1999, "Alex, I'm high right now, FYI.") Doctors rights/ patients rights ... for now and likely ever more.

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Barbarannamated

Is there a 3 strikes law for doctors..? At what point is their license LOST permanently? I wouldnt expect them to openly announce it, but- heck- even restaurants have to post their grade in the window! Do Vitals or Healthgrades include this into?

 

Is ANYONE looking out for the patient???

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alexjuice

Yea, maybe 3 strikes, or some #. I don't know.

 

I do know that my doctor moved states and changed specialties, presumably due to substance abuse problems. He was for years an ER doc but didn't succeed in that narco-rich environment. I think a smart doctor, if he doesn't kill anyone, can stay in business a long time if he plays the game nimbly enough.

 

I've known older addict docs who worked at med schools or in research. I don't know if they ended up there due to the politics of their abuse?

 

I did rehab at a rehab specializing in licensure cases, so I lived with lots and lots of doctors and attorneys for over 6 months. Lots of ***** sessions about "the board"...

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lindamorellato

In the hospital the three times, I was so very scared I was going to die, and it was the meds that were doing it but no one would listen to me. My doctor, who I met in 2001 upon my first hospitalization for post partum depression. Which i think was real and due to a little sweet baby who didn't sleep well,who cried for four hours straight every night.I hated nursing and felt guilty about it. I had trouble nursing and adequate milk supply. I wanted desterately to give him some formula but that was tantamount of poisioning him in my mind. He nursed constantly and still my body never caught up. I stopped eating and sleeping can't that do something to your brain?

 

I met my doctor in the hospital then. He is a sweet man but like the other three docs on the ward they would not listen to me. The two subsiquent hospitalizations were both after me taking antidepressants to "get myself in line". I was depressed and in a very bad situations and thought they would help me, despite knowing that i would go out of my mind. I recall being in the hospital and the patient in the next room had accientally left his belt on the bed. I had such terrible, terrible suicial thoughts on AD, that I had to talk over and over to myself to get myself to not take the belt and hang myself. I know that someone probably a bunch of you on here have experienced this. I am so angry that I almost killed myself, what that felt like! How scary that was to feel. THAT I WOULD LEAVE MY PRESCIOUS SONS and exit this world and no one would agree with me that it wasn't me it was the drugs. I feel humiliated that I fell for it three times. I BOUGHT the whole "chemical Imbalance" crap even as I spouted it I didn't believe it. Deep down I knew there was no chemical imbalance I just thought I was plain crazy. The tentative scary have to get my life back on track three freaking times. Almost left this world three freaking times. It's all crap. There are now several people in my family and like that think I am seriously mentally ill. I am not mentally Ill.

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dswanson

I have terrible side effects from antidepressant. I had a psychologist (not the doctor who prescribed the meds) become furious at me because I wanted to taper off meds. She was shaming and said some horrible things. When I tried to comply with taking the meds she constantly wanted me to take MORE

She had no understanding of the side effects associated with antidepressants. She saw things only in black and white.

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Barbarannamated

I have terrible side effects from antidepressant. I had a psychologist (not the doctor who prescribed the meds) become furious at me because I wanted to taper off meds. She was shaming and said some horrible things. When I tried to comply with taking the meds she constantly wanted me to take MOREShe had no understanding of the side effects associated with antidepressants. She saw things only in black and white.

When I hear of someone reacting vehemently like this, my first thought is that they, too, are taking the drugs and defensive about their own choice. Of course, we'll never know for sure because they can't discuss it.

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btdt

 

Curiously, I don't read too many entries expressing anger at our previous doctors. I guess, relative to the nature of the sight, I can't think of too many posters who have shared many specifics of their doctor who first prescribed for them....I wonder, to others, when you think of your doctor do you have feelings of anger or betrayal or sadness?

My predominant feeling is fear rather than anger, for three reasons:1) Over the past two years, I've been misdiagnosed three times by three different doctors, two of them specialists, in the context of three serious conditions;2) The off-label prescribing of antidepressants, antipsychotics, et cetera means that I'm going to have to second-guess every medication prescribed for me until the day I die. What if I'm unconscious or otherwise incapable or saying "NO!" at the time? Will I have to go through withdrawal hell again?; and3) Given that I may need a diagnosis and medication at some future date, to whom do I turn? I no longer trust mainstream medicine, and while I've turned out to be talented at self-diagnosis I often take a long time to figure out what's wrong. Do I just lay down and die? I tend toward choosing this last option rather than receive inappropriate and likely painful or sickening treatment.

 

I feel much the same way you do.  I am told I am irrational :) that is ok with me. 

I recently HAD to have surgery... it was a rough go and have not heal properly yet.  The idea is in the back of my mind that some further procedure will be suggested to fix this one.  I will have a lot of questions to be sure like can I live with this the way it is?  Will it ever heal if left alone, even if it heals badly?  To me the stress of putting myself in the hands of a doctor is worse than most illnesses I can think of.  

I have turned down a biopsy on a lymph node it was a long time ago was that a stupid thing to do?  I do tend to second guess myself.  The surgeon said his guess is there is nothing there... he may be wrong but on that day ... his guess was good enough for me. 

Loss of faith in health care is a big deal which could have serious ramifications for us. Yet I cannot deny the faith is completely gone. 

Wouldn't it be a funny twist of fate to end up dying from something relatively simple because of the fear to have a test.  LOL and the shrinks could all gather round and say her irrational fear caused her to avoid appropriate care.  

Till the end they could devalue my opinions and my truth and nobody would be the wiser they would come out smelling like roses with all the trimming houses cars money respect all the things that help a family grow and thrive... while mine is destroyed.  

Sorry this came out so dark that is not what I intended it is just the natural course of my thinking due to my life experience to date. 

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btdt

The other fear I have of hospital is that somebody will go postal there because of the bad care and kill a lot of people and I will get shot.  

I have noticed that where I live security has become a huge issue at hosp and I wonder how much that costs... 

All hosp now have cameras and many security guards. Like they are expecting something big.  

I can tell you this is all new as short a time ago as 15 years security at a hosp was an old guy in uniform with a chair at the door.  

If you parked too long in the wrong spot he would come talk to you ... help people who could not get in the hosp easily... now it is like 

the president is going to be coming thru any minute they have so many security guards... what are they expecting?

 

Ok I do not really think I will get shot it is more a joke but healthcare the idea of it the practice of it and the care of it has changed in extreme ways in a very short time. I do wonder what it means for the future if we keep heading the way we are.  It does not seem like an improvement to me. 

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Roads

I am grateful towards my doctors, or more precisely towards the process they were part of and of which they were a mean. I don't want to waste my pain, my hatred, and my indignation. These are powerful energies I prefer to keep for myself and use their strength for my own achievement. They did me extreme harm, and I am thankful for that; for it gave me outstanding things that couldn't have been achieved in other ways. It was necessary. It was generous. It was beautiful. Now I see it all in an amused and excited way. Life, what is the next challenge? What will you give me next to empower me even more? One of the most precious things I have learnt is that duality and discrimination of experience according to their pleasant/unpleasant sensation is an illusion. Both can be a gift. Unpleasant ones on the whole can be very powerful donators. 

Behind all of that, there has never been anything but extreme generosity. I am completely amazed by it. 

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btdt

I am grateful towards my doctors, or more precisely towards the process they were part of and of which they were a mean. I don't want to waste my pain, my hatred, and my indignation. These are powerful energies I prefer to keep for myself and use their strength for my own achievement. They did me extreme harm, and I am thankful for that; for it gave me outstanding things that couldn't have been achieved in other ways. It was necessary. It was generous. It was beautiful. Now I see it all in an amused and excited way. Life, what is the next challenge? What will you give me next to empower me even more? One of the most precious things I have learnt is that duality and discrimination of experience according to their pleasant/unpleasant sensation is an illusion. Both can be a gift. Unpleasant ones on the whole can be very powerful donators. 

Behind all of that, there has never been anything but extreme generosity. I am completely amazed by it. 

LOL I was there once not to the extreme you are but once I was in a place a bit like that.  When I felt kind of well.  Guess what... got pushed down again by life and I am right back to... if I was not already messed by drugs given by those doctors my healing from this new hit would be "normal" " as expected... and doctors would not be taking a chance every time they gave me a pill"  Funny how things change on a dime. 

 

I am right back to enough is enough.  

I have had enough.  

You may as well keep all this... " my pain, my hatred, and my indignation" As it is not getting thru to doctors anyway... they are deaf and blind in case you have not noticed. 

 

I am curious how you have used these things to empower yourself seems to be a trick worth learning. 

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Equanimity

I am grateful towards my doctors, or more precisely towards the process they were part of and of which they were a mean. I don't want to waste my pain, my hatred, and my indignation. These are powerful energies I prefer to keep for myself and use their strength for my own achievement. They did me extreme harm, and I am thankful for that; for it gave me outstanding things that couldn't have been achieved in other ways. It was necessary. It was generous. It was beautiful. Now I see it all in an amused and excited way. Life, what is the next challenge? What will you give me next to empower me even more? One of the most precious things I have learnt is that duality and discrimination of experience according to their pleasant/unpleasant sensation is an illusion. Both can be a gift. Unpleasant ones on the whole can be very powerful donators. 

Behind all of that, there has never been anything but extreme generosity. I am completely amazed by it. 

Thank you, Roads, for this statement.  On my good days, that is definitely what I believe.  On bad days, I have to remember NOT to hate anyone, including the doctors.  If I think of myself as a victim, then I become one.

 

This is one of my favorite quotes and I think it belongs here:

 

"When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him."  --Jonathan Swift

 

I have written on this blog that the majority of us are "sensitive" people.  That sensitivity is considered a weakness in our western society. But as I see it, we are actually lucky because enlightenment is tugging at our sleeves.  Being sensitive, we are open to receive.  We become the enlightened ones.  Feel bad for these docs who JUST DON'T SEE IT.  The dunces are lost in the dream, the illusion.  We are the "geniuses."

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btdt

 

I am grateful towards my doctors, or more precisely towards the process they were part of and of which they were a mean. I don't want to waste my pain, my hatred, and my indignation. These are powerful energies I prefer to keep for myself and use their strength for my own achievement. They did me extreme harm, and I am thankful for that; for it gave me outstanding things that couldn't have been achieved in other ways. It was necessary. It was generous. It was beautiful. Now I see it all in an amused and excited way. Life, what is the next challenge? What will you give me next to empower me even more? One of the most precious things I have learnt is that duality and discrimination of experience according to their pleasant/unpleasant sensation is an illusion. Both can be a gift. Unpleasant ones on the whole can be very powerful donators. 

Behind all of that, there has never been anything but extreme generosity. I am completely amazed by it. 

Thank you, Roads, for this statement.  On my good days, that is definitely what I believe.  On bad days, I have to remember NOT to hate anyone, including the doctors.  If I think of myself as a victim, then I become one.

 

This is one of my favorite quotes and I think it belongs here:

 

"When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him."  --Jonathan Swift

 

I have written on this blog that the majority of us are "sensitive" people.  That sensitivity is considered a weakness in our western society. But as I see it, we are actually lucky because enlightenment is tugging at our sleeves.  Being sensitive, we are open to receive.  We become the enlightened ones.  Feel bad for these docs who JUST DON'T SEE IT.  The dunces are lost in the dream, the illusion.  We are the "geniuses."

 

Wow the last two people are unbelievable to me.  I am trying to get my head around these two posters... and while I try I wonder if your both stoned.  

I am not trying to be a bad person here I am not joking either... are you using some other type of drug that is changing how your mind works?  

This is so far from my sense of reality it is like your drugged or something it is alien to me.  

I would ask for clarification actually think I have already how you got to this place....?

I sense tho that I am not going to get it.  I could be wrong but other than some wild jump in my thinking which I no longer due since I am off the drugs... I can't see how you guys get here.

If there is some road you can take me down that is based on reason please lets see the map.  I don't get it and if it is possible to get there without a drug I would like to go there. 

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Equanimity

 

 

I am grateful towards my doctors, or more precisely towards the process they were part of and of which they were a mean. I don't want to waste my pain, my hatred, and my indignation. These are powerful energies I prefer to keep for myself and use their strength for my own achievement. They did me extreme harm, and I am thankful for that; for it gave me outstanding things that couldn't have been achieved in other ways. It was necessary. It was generous. It was beautiful. Now I see it all in an amused and excited way. Life, what is the next challenge? What will you give me next to empower me even more? One of the most precious things I have learnt is that duality and discrimination of experience according to their pleasant/unpleasant sensation is an illusion. Both can be a gift. Unpleasant ones on the whole can be very powerful donators. 

Behind all of that, there has never been anything but extreme generosity. I am completely amazed by it. 

Thank you, Roads, for this statement.  On my good days, that is definitely what I believe.  On bad days, I have to remember NOT to hate anyone, including the doctors.  If I think of myself as a victim, then I become one.

 

This is one of my favorite quotes and I think it belongs here:

 

"When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him."  --Jonathan Swift

 

I have written on this blog that the majority of us are "sensitive" people.  That sensitivity is considered a weakness in our western society. But as I see it, we are actually lucky because enlightenment is tugging at our sleeves.  Being sensitive, we are open to receive.  We become the enlightened ones.  Feel bad for these docs who JUST DON'T SEE IT.  The dunces are lost in the dream, the illusion.  We are the "geniuses."

 

Wow the last two people are unbelievable to me.  I am trying to get my head around these two posters... and while I try I wonder if your both stoned.  

I am not trying to be a bad person here I am not joking either... are you using some other type of drug that is changing how your mind works?  

This is so far from my sense of reality it is like your drugged or something it is alien to me.  

I would ask for clarification actually think I have already how you got to this place....?

I sense tho that I am not going to get it.  I could be wrong but other than some wild jump in my thinking which I no longer due since I am off the drugs... I can't see how you guys get here.

If there is some road you can take me down that is based on reason please lets see the map.  I don't get it and if it is possible to get there without a drug I would like to go there. 

 

Hi btdt,

 

First, let me say after reading your synopsis in your signature, well, all I can say is, WOW.  You are have been quite a lot and I sincerely feel for you!  You got put on psych meds for physical pain!  Jeez.  From reading the blogs, and from one other person I met, it is actually too common an occurrence.

 

I can understand your anger, and yes, if you read my introductory post, I had my anger too and I could write a hundred more essays about the subject.  But what good does it do me to just be stewed in anger and not move forward to a better life, now without these drugs?  Although I am not feeling all that great at the moment with this unrelenting all day everyday vertigo and anxiety from that--I am better today then I was then.  If I try to be in the past and in the future with my thinking, not only does it get me nowhere, it causes me further anxiety and loss of sleep.

 

I stay in the moment for dear life.

 

I don't know if you didn't like my quote, but I do feel that way.  No matter what I say to this doctor now, she is still convinced I would be better off on her drugs for example, when I was having trouble just turning my sleep schedule around to be a day person again.  It is always the answer for her and too many of these doctors.  She got angry when I asked to her read a book by Dr. Peter Breggin, who is a psychiatrist who has spoken out about these drugs since the 1970's.  See: breggin.com and just watch his short videos and in them he basically says that these doctors are LAZY.  That people do not need these drugs, they just need someone to listen to them and then help them from there.

 

So, yes, I call her and her ilk, dunces.  I call anyone a dunce who is not open to new ideas.  I call anyone a dunce who continues to hurt others when there is mounting evidence that what they are doing is absolutely wrong and they continue to it.  Karma is a b****, you know.  What goes around comes around.  And what I mean by that is:  It is my belief that what we do to others will come back to us.  If we do good, good will come back to us.  If we do bad, bad will come back to us.

 

So yes, as a spiritual being, I do feel bad for these doctors who just don't see what they are doing to others and then ultimately to themselves.  Their spiritual development is retarded by their actions.

 

I refuse to hurt myself any further by allowing hate to enter and make residence in my heart.

 

I do wish you healing and love.  I hope I made myself understood a little here.

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Aria

I haven't seen my old pdoc in years but have seen his associate out shopping. Feelings towards my pdoc??  Did he learn anything from me telling him how much he screwed up?? My disgust towards him has lessened only because I don't have the energy to keep at it. On thing that does stand out is after he realized and admitted he'd wrongly diagnosed and drugged me was he contacted his attorney and discredited me with another pdoc.

 

I try to help and educate others who are on psych drugs and let them know there are other options. Most of the time people are having awful drug side effects, actually feeling worst on the drugs and their prescribing pdoc is not acknowledging this. As more and more of us inform the media, doctors, friends maybe just maybe it'll change. I do see this already.

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