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☼ antoinette -- lexapro withdrawal

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antoinette

I need help. I was on lexapro for 7 years. Quit cold turkey in april and then went back on in may. I had the worst reaction possible. Hallucinated the first week and heard a voice to kill my kids. I was on it for 6 weeks. The while time was a nightmare. I was deathly afraid to be around my kids. Lost 30 lbs in 1 month because I couldn't eat sleep or sit still. Went into hospital for 6 weeks due to severe depression. They talked me into going on lithium 250 mg. It has helped the withdrawal of the lexapro but I'm still having the thoughts about my kids. Its awful. I.don't know if I should stay on or taper off because I want to get my brain to recover. These thoughts drive me crazy. Anyone have advice?


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Altostrata

Hello, antoinette. Welcome to our community.

 

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.

 

When you went back on the Lexapro, you got worse symptoms?

 

Are you on only lithium now? How did it help your symptoms?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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antoinette

Yes I had a horrible adverse reaction when I went back on lexapro. The lithium has helped me from being suicidal but I don't want to be on anything. I feel like my Brain should recover. I still have the horrific thoughts about my kids so my life is hell. I just want to be who I once was. Fo you think I should stay on the lithium? I'm on 250 mg for 3 weeks.


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Nikki

Hi Antoinette....

 

So sorry for what has happened. I did taper lexapro awhile back. It was very tough. Cold Turkey may be behind all of the difficulties since reinstating. Problems occur from CT.

 

Antoinette when I first had problems with anxiety and depression I used to have 'obsessive and scary thoughts'. I was afraid of holding or seeing a knife. I was afraid I would lose control, and hurt someone.

 

I found out from a competent therapist and from Attacking Anxiety and Depression by Lucinda Bassett that we won't do this or act out. It is an extreme form of anxiety, and in some cases it is the mind's way of distracting us from what's really bothering us.

 

For me it was extreme anxiety and a tremendous sense of a loss of control. When I listened to the Anxiety/Depression disc I felt so relieved. In one of Dr. Burns books he discusses this too. Again a sense of relief.

 

Going to the hospital and explaining this to a regular MD or psychiatrist, they will medicate right away.

 

I remember how awful that was, but it went away after I read about it and understood it.

 

Years later when I was tapering Lexapro this obsessive thought returned. Scared the daylights out of me, but I knew I could beat it's hold over me. So........after lunch at my job, while at my desk I held onto the steak knife near my computer so I could see it in full view. I flooded myself with it and it went away.

 

God help me if anyone other than someone on this site should ever read this :huh: It is a very big problem for anxiety sufferers, but too embarrassing to share.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To get off Lexapro "I" took Imipramine (a tricyclic). I weaned onto it while reducing Lexapro.

 

Alto has much, much more knowledge about meds than I do. Would I want to get off the Lexapro -- yes. It seems to be hurting you.

 

I hope this will help alleviate some of your present fears. Been there.

 

Lots of Hugs and you are in the right place :)


Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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antoinette

Thank you nikki for responding. I've been off the lexapro since June 19th. Now I'm on the lithium 250 mg since I was so suicidal and in the hospital. They wanted to try me on a million different things and the lithium was the only thing I agreed too. My life has been turned upside down from that one obsessive thought it turned into a huge obsession. It especially scares me since I've read so many stories of people losing control on antidepressants. I read too much lol. So here are my what ifs.....

What if I lose control and kill my kids.

What if these thoughts never go away.

I'm so uncomfortable all day every day its hard to wake up. Please tell me it gets better


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Altostrata

antoinette, it does get better.

 

There is a minority of people who are genetically inclined to have immediate intense adverse reactions to serotonergics such as Lexapro, or even LSD. You appear to be one of those people.

 

People who have this adverse reaction sometimes take a long time to heal from it.

 

If I were you, I would take your reaction to Lexapro as a warning and not EVER take another antidepressant.

 

If lithium helps, I would stay on it for now. I don't know much about it, but it seems you are on low dose, which is good. At some point not too far in the future, you might taper off.

 

Your brain is healing from the Lexapro injury. Your dark thoughts are not who you are, they're symptoms generated by the injury -- see Neuro-emotion

 

What we find helpful is to separate "me" from "my symptoms" to manage the symptoms. Different psychotherapeutic techniques, particularly meditation, can help with this.

 

Perhaps aggressive neuro-emotion thoughts are amplified by stress or frustrations in you life. Is there any way you can reduce stress?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Nikki

Antoinette in Dr. Burns book he told story of a patient that said (while in his office) "I am afraid I am gong to lose control and rip my clothes off and run down the halls."

 

Dr. Burns said go ahead, do it right now. See if you can make yourself anxious enough to do it, and he could not.

 

From this, when I had bad panic I would tell myself, go ahead and act like a blithering idiot. Faint, run around with a knife, scream, etc. Nothing happened, ever.

 

I remember I was home alone and slicing green peppers. All of a sudden I became panic stricken and was afraid that I would hurt someone. There was no one home, just me and the peppers & onions.

 

I put the knife and food down and called the therapist. I told her what happened and she told me what I told you. It is obsessive and scary thoughts which we don't act out on. It's extreme anxiety and it's how we scare ourselves even further. this happened when I first had panic and anxiety attacks.

 

There is a woman in the Attacking Anxiety and Depression Program who was afraid she would drown the children. She would always have someone in the house at bath time.

After becoming so desperate she go the program and learned what I am telling you.

 

People who want to hurt the children are not afraid, worried or really care. They do it with intention. You have the opposite and therein lies with difference.

 

This type of anxiety/fear breaks my heart when I hear people talk about it. Not too many people open up about it.

 

I agree with Alto, try to get off the Lexapro and don't rock with boat with the Lamictal at this point. Your anxiety/depression was a result of CT and the reinstating was ineffective. That happens.

 

Hang in there kiddo.


Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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antoinette

Thank you so much guys for responding. Thus is awful and its funny because my husband said the other day that the lexapro was like I was on acid and right now I'm still recovering from my bad "trip". He is so right. Ive never done drugs only smoked pot and did that one time because of the horrible reaction I had to that. So I've always been ultra sensitive to anything. Everyone tells me I won't hurt my kids which I know I won't but the thoughts are so powerful. What that nasty drug dis to me is awful. I hope I can continue to recover.


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Jemima

You'll get better, but please remember that it's going to take a lot of time and patience. I tapered off Lexapro too fast, ending the middle of last December, and am just now beginning to get back on my feet. That was after only ten months of use preceded by five months on Pristiq, a somewhat different and even nastier AD. (I don't know if the length of time a person is on an AD has anything much to do with recovery time.)

 

My intro topic can be reached by clicking on the link in my signature below if you'd like to read about someone who took Lexapro and lived to tell about it. Of course, your recovery may be altogether different from mine.


Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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ladybugqt

I'm glad I came back & read this... YOU R NOT ALONE! I know it's different for everyone, but lexapro has stolen a year of my life so far... Please read my experience http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2306-ladybugqt-lexapro-will-i-ever-feel-normal-again/page__p__22783__fromsearch__1#entry22783 I am starting to recover (down to .75 of a milligram a day, liquid) I have hope now, at least, after seeing some progress. U have been thru a nightmare! U r so strong to talk about it! Please - I know nothing more than what I have been thru & researched on the web, but if u ever need 2 talk, or cry, I AM HERE!


:P LADYBUGQT :unsure:

 

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antoinette

Thank you! Its been hell! I still look back and can't believe this is my life. It feels like a nightmare. Every morning I wake up and dread the day. How long were you on lexapro?


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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antoinette

What about tapering off lithium? I've been on it for 3 weeks to help with the withdrawal of lexapro but don't want yo be on it anymore


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Altostrata

Looks like lithium comes in a liquid, antoinette, see http://www.drugs.com/pro/lithium.html This is the best way to taper. But it's helping your symptoms now, right?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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ladybugqt

A year! And i thought i had a stroke - couldnt talk, dizzy, no muscle strength - still cant get in n out of our van! BUT MY LIFE WILL GET BETTER, & SO WILL YOURS!


:P LADYBUGQT :unsure:

 

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Whatever

Alto is right. I am glad you joined our group Antoinette. Here some personal experiences:

 

When I was in my teens, I experimented with LSD. Tried it maybe three times. The last time I took it, I remember sitting on a bench at the beach, about 1 mile from the water. All of a sudden I became obsessed with jumping in the water and ending my life (I can't swim and have a fear of the water). I couldn't stop this thought from going away. Luckily, I told my friend and she immediately walked me to cab and took me home,

 

When I was on Lexapro's baby brother Celaxa (supposedly Lexapro is the improved version of Celexa) I lived with chronic suicidal idetition. It was the drug. It was not me. I would do that to my family.


Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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antoinette

Yes its keeping me from being extremely suicidal like I was but I just get nervous about my brain getting even more screwed up. Isn't it a horrible drug?


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Whatever

Comparing our drug reactions is like comparing apples to oranges.

 

I suspect that you are experiencing a SEVERE reaction to Lithium. I have had friends who took Lithium and became violent (one set fire to their Phd dissertation, another got into his  car and after driving over multiple lawns, ended up driving into the wall of a brick building).

 

Has the doctor provided you with a diagnosis? Is the Doctor advocating long term Lithium treatment. If not, has your doctor provided you with a tapering schedule? Has the doctor explained why Lithium is an appropriate drug to use while tapering?

 

I do not know what your relationship with your doctor is, how open to discussion they are. But, I suspect that your doctor believes you are Bi-Polar. Because Lithium is used for Bi-Polar disorder, when all else fails. It is also a much stronger drug than Lexapro - so it is like trying to kill a fly with a baseball bat, when you can use a fly swatter, such as Lamicatal (which in comparison is a gentler mood-stabilizer). So it makes no sense to me why a doctor would prescribe a strong drug like Lithium to taper from, unless they believe you suffer from intractable manic-depressivion. But this is purely conjuncture on my part so you need to disscuss this with your doctor.

 

IMO your hallucinations and six week treatment for depression stem from your CT WD from Lexapro and not from a mental disorder.

 

So my advice is to  please discuss this with your doctor, and DEFINITELY taper off the Lithium. Read all that you can and advocate for yourself, do not ever let any medical professional talk you into taking another drug, tell them you will take it under consideration then research the drug to death. Remember, they assume drugs help and come with few side effects (or at least side effects that are easily treated via OTC meds like Tums or Advil).


Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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antoinette

He put me on lithium because it works "wonders". I'm going to.start tapering because I don't want to be on anything. I heard also lamictal works for withdrawal and I'm on 25 mg of that. He said since I had a reaction yo lexapro I'm bipolar, which I know I'm not. I know they tell that to everyone. I'm on 225 of lithium. Should I just start filing it? Idk what I'm doing tapering!


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Jemima

Please hold off on doing anything at all until Alto can look over your situation. Your nervous system is already in an uproar from going on and off Lexapro and I'm not sure tapering Lithium at this time is a good idea. It's important to stabilize before starting another taper.

 

I know it's hard to be patient, but just getting the drugs out of one's system doesn't necessarily make things better. The drugs change the way the brain functions and the brain can take awhile to re-normalize long after the drugs are stopped. It's quite possible you could feel even worse if you start another taper right away. So please don't do anything yet.


Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Altostrata

I don't know, Whatever, antoinette may not be having a severe reaction to lithium -- she said it's helping. It sounds like maybe the bad thoughts are Lexapro withdrawal.

 

antoinette, did you go on lamotrigine before lithium? Or at the same time? When you started lithium, how could you tell it was helping?

 

Do you have a private psychiatrist?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Altostrata

Hi, antoinette, I moved your posts about tapering lithium here, since they're so particular to your situation and didn't belong in making a solution.

 

Since it helps you, if I were you I'd stay on it for now. You're taking a low dose.

 

Still, you need follow-up (blood tests for the lithium) and to discuss going off with a doctor. How about interviewing this one http://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=88302&sid=1346787564.6471_31635&city=Akron&county=Summit&state=OH

 

Her Web site http://www.mindfulpsych.com/dr-skillicorn.html

 

Things you might tell her: You had an huge adverse reaction to Lexapro. Your bad thoughts started then. You don't think you're bipolar. You're on lithium and lamotrigine and you're worried about the lithium.

 

If she's good, let us know.

 

(You can follow a topic by clicking on the big blue Watch Topic button at the upper right of a topic. You'll get e-mail telling you about new posts.)


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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antoinette

Thanks guys! I started lamictal 6 weeks ago dr. Tracy thought it was OK for the withdrawal. I was so suicidal my psychiatrist said to start lithium. It has def helped with the suicidal thoughts. But I don't want to be on anything. I just want to be off everything. I will look that psychiatrist up because I hate mine! He said it only takes 5 to 7 days to withdrawal! We all know that's a load!


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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antoinette

Alto I don't have a button that says that, maybe because I'm on my phone?? That stinks I don't have a computer... so I don't even remember where all I wrote lol


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Altostrata

Do you have a View New Content link? That's a good way to see what's new.

 

Bookmark this topic, it's your journal.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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antoinette

So today I feel really good. Which of course I have to analyze and wonder if I'm manic or just feeling good and getting over my fears. I found on the internet yesterday a type of ocd called harm ocd. It made me feel better because I definitely have it. Its about being.g afraid of harming others. Sometimes antidepressants make it worse since they affect the part of brain ocd is in. That's exactly what happened to me, it exasperated it. I've always had ocd and the intrusive obsessive thoughts but they always seemed to go away quickly. Now that I know what I have I feel more confident about my recovery.


http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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Altostrata

Good to hear, antoinette. Have faith in yourself, enjoy your kids.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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strawberry17

Hi Antoinette

I'm glad I found your thread, you sent me a friend request on FB last night? as this is your record of how things are going for you I can follow how you're getting on.

Strawberry

(Sheila)


*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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Baxter

Antoinette - it does get better with time. Hang in.


 

1989 - 1992 Parnate* 

1992-1998 Paxil - pooped out*, oxazapam, inderal

1998 - 2005 Celexa - pooped out* klonopin, oxazapam, inderal

*don't remember doses

2005 -2007   Cymbalta 60 mg oxazapam, inderal, klonopin

Started taper in 2007:

CT klonopin, oxazapam, inderal (beta blocker) - 2007

Cymbalta 60mg to 30mg 2007 -2010

July 2010 - March 2018 on hiatus due to worsening w/d symptoms, which abated and finally disappeared. Then I stalled for about 5 years because I didn't want to deal with W/D.

March 2018 - May 2018 switch from 30mg Cymbalta to 20mg Celexa 

19 mg Celexa October 7, 2018

18 mg Celexa November 5, 2018

17 mg Celexa  December 2, 2019

16 mg Celexa January 6, 2018 

15 mg Celexa March 7, 2019

14 mg Celexa April 24, 2019

13 mg Celexa June 28, 2019

12.8 mg Celexa November 10, 2019

12.4 Celexa August 31, 2020

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