☼ antoinette -- lexapro withdrawal

[antoinette]

Thank you so much

[Altostrata]

antoinette, did you contact that doctor?

 

I'm concerned that you might be on lithium when you don't really need it any more. I don't know what to suggest for tapering.

[antoinette]

I'm at the 7 mos mark since I quit cold turkey. I'm doing so much better than first, but know I still have time. Everyday is a struggle. I've learned a lot about myself. The anxiety is still bad. I have bad intrusive thoughts. I just wonder if it will ever end. Its weird to actually not be on meds. I dont know what to think. U get discouraged reading it takes people 2 years but everyone keeps telling me how well I'm doing for 7 mos. I'm scared. Do you think since I'm already doing well that I'll keep getting better? I just don't ever want to get back to where I was.

[Iggy131313]

Hi Hun, what meds were you on at what dose and for how long? It sounds like your doing great, alot of people who are doing very well at this point see a big improvement at 9 months, dont let the 2 year thing scrae you, If I am healed at 2 years I will count my blessings and praise God, and I dont even believe in God!

[antoinette]

Hey iggy I'm brenlil on the other site! I was on lexapro for 8 years and cold turkey it in april and went back on in may...I know.my situation is the same as you! I hope to god it doesn't take me 2 years. From where I was at a couple mos ago until now is a miracle that I never.thought would happen. Actually the last month has been an improvement. I laid in bed like you and wished to die. What are your symptoms now?

[Iggy131313]

I thought you sounded familiar,,you are doing so well,I bet you anything that you see TREMENDOUS improvement at the 9 months mark, I dont know what it is about 9 months, maybe Alto has a theory but so many people see something happening around 9 months, for some its an improvement for some its a wave, but I bet yours is an improvement.

 

Im the same

 

what are your major symptoms that you are dealing with now?

[antoinette]

My symptoms are mainly anxiety morning and night. Throughout the day I'm pretty good. Depression pretty much gone besides sometimes when I get discouraged because of anxiety. I was just.like you in the beginning. Just like you. Its so much better but still is there somewhat. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts. What are your symptoms?

[Iggy131313]

anxiety all the time, periods of depression altough this comes and goes, suicidal ideation, and Derealization where everything seems very detached nad strange, fear and paranoia, and anhedonia, when I think of things like christmas that I LOVE or other things I know I love I feel fear and dread instead of anything positive. hell

 

you are doing so SO great, motor towards that 9 month mark...

[antoinette]

Iggy you will get there too. I was the same exact way as you. How long have you been off?

[Jemima]

Antoinette,

 

I moved your most recent post and replies to your original Intro topic. I added a link to your signature so that you can find this Intro topic by going to your profile or any of yours posts. Only one Intro topic per member, please. When you want to add a comment about your recovery from antidepressants, please post to this topic by clicking on "Add Reply", Preview Post if you wish, and "Add Reply".

 

When you have a chance, please add your drug history to your signature:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Thanks!

[antoinette]

I'm on my mobile so it doesn't allow that. I dint know how to find any of that.

[Altostrata]

antoinette, the morning anxiety might be diminished by reducing early morning light with blackout shades, curtains, and sleep mask. This has helped many of us.

[antoinette]

Alto, I've heard its taking you a ling time to recover. It scares me. I cold turkeyed after 8 years and its been 7 mos and I have come a long way but am also scared to death I'll be like this forever or years to come. When I reinstateda month later I had the worst adverse reaction. So now I feel like I'll feel like a nut case for the rest of my life and won't be able to take anything because I'm so sensitive now. Could you tell me why its taken so.long for you to recover and what your symptoms are?

[s1335]

I have just reinstated too and realize the sensitivity too. Perhaps we just need to stay consistent on dosage knowing it will be regulated eventually so that we can make a proper taper over a long period of time.

[s1335]

My symptoms currently include morning anxiety, a dull depression, feeling like I want to be isolated and a type of brain fog. I'll catch myself just staring into space.

[Jemima]

Alto, I've heard its taking you a long time to recover. It scares me. I cold turkeyed after 8 years and its been 7 mos and I have come a long way but am also scared to death I'll be like this forever or years to come. When I reinstated a month later I had the worst adverse reaction. So now I feel like I'll feel like a nut case for the rest of my life and won't be able to take anything because I'm so sensitive now. Could you tell me why its taken so long for you to recover and what your symptoms are?

 

I can't speak for Alto, but it seems that nearly everyone on this forum, including me, has had the fear that withdrawal symptoms will never go away. They do, although no two cases are alike. The length and difficulty of withdrawal seem to be a very individual thing and no one knows what factors may be involved.

 

I had my last fragment of a Lexapro tablet December 14, 2011 (ending a fifteen month period of taking an SNRI - Pristiq - for five months, and then Lexapro and a too-fast taper for the remainder) and I'm *almost* out of the woods. The neuro-emotions are finally fading and I've been able to enjoy myself on a number of occasions. There was a long, scary period when I had frequent attacks of neuro-anxiety and neuro-depression and couldn't get interested in anything. Often the changes have been so subtle I haven't realized what was happening right away.

 

Seven months is not a terribly long time to be in withdrawal, and I expect that, in time, you'll have a complete recovery. Be patient, if possible, and note that the sense of urgency also seems to come from those neuro-emotions.

[antoinette]

I have gotten so much better than what I was, but um still in it. Every week I swear I feel different. Not worse but just different, but still moving forward and slowly getting better. I think its just hard for me to go through this and on top of it realize I can't take meds ever again. I've always relied on them and ever since my adverse reaction I know my body will never tolerate anymore. That is fine but I get paranoid thinking what if I really need it since I was on the stuff 8 years? What if my brain is used to it?

[Altostrata]

That's quite typical of recovery from withdrawal syndrome, antoinette.

 

You've come a long way, why not assume you will continue to recover? At 7 months off, I'd hardly call you stuck!

 

Withdrawal syndrome is like having had a serious acccident. It's unexpected, it changes your life, but it's happened and you can't undo it.

 

We know recovery is gradual. Assist it by thinking positively. There's no reason to hurt yourself and possibly set yourself back by worrying about "never" or regretting the past.

 

Recovery has taken a long time for me, but it will occur at a different rate for everyone.

[antoinette]

Thank you alto. Everyone tells me I'm doing awesome for 7 mos. I'm working, taking care of my kids, and doing normal things. Its hard as hell. I have come a long way. I'm up and down emotionally every day. But I get through. I know I'll get there. Its kind of like now I know what to expect so I'm getting used to it. It does make it easier. Its been a hell of a ride.

[Altostrata]

You ARE doing awesome!

[antoinette]

Thank you alto . Do you hear of people getting intrusive thoughts like me? I get so anxious and then think I'm psychotic. Do you think its just anxiety?

[antoinette]

I'm supposed to.have a minor surgery tomorrow but am scared because of the anaesthesia. Do you think I'll be OK or should I postpone it? Its not something that needs done right away

[Altostrata]

You might postpone it. If it's local anesthesia, it might not bother you, but then again, it might.

[antoinette]

Is noni juice safe to try? I feel manic and racy and heard its good for that. Or is there anything I can try for that?

[antoinette]

I wanted to update: it will be 6 months on the 19th I stopped lexapro. I have to say I'm a lot better, of course still not 100%. Everyday I feel different. Wake up early in panic but still keep going. My anxiety is full fledged. I let myself feel it and go through it and just recognize it. I tried the living essential oils but had a bad reaction and stopped the lavender. Tried the progesterone oil and became too emotional. They say that means your body is detoxing and coming back to normal. Idk if I believe that. They seem like a cult. They told me to apply it and chant to myself. I can't handle that. So its been a week or so since I stopped. My body aches and emotionally I feel numb. Idk if that's what its from or what. My mind is racing and "ocd" feels.unbearable at times. It feels like my brain is rewiring. It gets tingly and weird feeling. Does anyone have any comments regarding the oils or the racing thoughts? I'm sorry this is so vague my concentration is horrible at the moment. I also was so anxious I took ativan a few days in a row. I know, bad, but I couldn't sleep. So I still think I'm recovering from that.

[antoinette]

Btw, has anyone tried buspar? Is that a bad idea? I know its a drug and pry isn't but I need something for my nerves

[basildev]

Hi Antoinette,

 

It looks like you've been through some very tough times but you're holding up really well.

 

I haven't tried any of the other stuff but I wanted to tell you that I have tried noni juice and literally gagged every time I took a dose. It tastes FOUL and didn't do anything (except make me gag!). Snake oil in my opinion.

 

Good luck:)

[antoinette]

Yes I hated taste too!

[Altostrata]

antoinette, there are no magic potions for withdrawal syndrome or we'd all be taking them. Withdrawal tends to make your body hypersensitive to a lot of things, so whatever you try, try a very little amount to see how you react.

 

That goes for drugs, too. If I were you, I'd stay away from psychiatric drugs. They tend to be too strong for hypersensitive nervous systems and can set you back.

 

Good to hear you're seeing improvement.

[antoinette]

Thank u alto. I'm trying so hard. Did you get intrusivethoughts?

[antoinette]

Why does w.d seem like one big panic attack?

[Altostrata]

Yes, I had intrusive thoughts and panic attacks, too, and terrible anxiety and sleeplessness.

 

These techniques might help you http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/ Many people find meditation or CBT techniques help.

 

Withdrawal syndrome is no fun, that's for sure. It's a medical disgrace.

[antoinette]

Thank you alto. Your such a help for me to feel I'm not alone. I would rather withdrawal from heroin. How long did your I.t's last? I know its different for everyone but I hear the fade slowly.

[strawberry17]

Antoinette I've been having a rough time lately as well and sadly I don't think there are any magic answers apart from being very kind to yourself. I've recently got into Mindfulness and can recommend a book called "The Mindful Way through Depression", there is a CD with it with mindful meditations and I particularly like the Body Scan. I'm finding it quite soothing.

[antoinette]

Its been almost 8 mos since quitting lexapro cold turkey. I look back and can see immense progress but know im still in it. Im working, taking care of kids and trying the best i can. Im sleeping better but still get up at 5 most days but now thankfully can usually fall back asleep.

 

My anxiety is still there, not as bad, but there. It seems i have good hours throughout the day which is a huge improvement because before everyday was hell. When i do have really bad moments in morning or before bed they are really bad because they are compounded into those times instead of being all day. I really think ive just learned what to expect now. Ive had every wave possible, suicidal to depression to mania to anger to anxious all at once or one at a time and i hate them all. I have bad "ocd" which is rituals or intrusive thoughts. My mania is cleaning and not sitting still. Thankfully i havent had depression in a few months.

 

I sometimes get scared and think is this what the rest of my life will be like? Is this me now? God i hope not. But then i look back to when this first started and the hell i was in and how those symptoms have passed so these will too. My period is awful every month but i manage and get through.

 

What helps me the most is not googling so much anymore. I know everyone does that in the beginning because we want to know what the hell is going on with us but after awhile for me i learned it made me worse. I did cbt therapy which was a god send. I thought that it wouldnt help since this is withdrawal but it helps so much i recommend to anyone. Its all about riding this horrible uncomfortable wave and not giving it any thought. Things are easier but im no way recovered fully, but the worst is over i believe and hope.

 

Please everyone know that it does get better, new symptoms will come, old symptoms will go but eventually it will pass. Just try to do as much normal as you can to retrain your brain. Everyday i push myself to go to work or to do things and its hard as hell. I do know alot cant work or do very much and i was the same but i came to a point where i can now so i do it. I have to retrain my brain again. I feel as though ive had a brain injury. The other night i watched tv with my famiky that was a huge milestone for me i havent watched tv in 8 mos. I hope its a good sign i have these hours of feeling pretty normal and can laugh work and take care of my kids. Its been a living nightmare but i wont let it stop me. I wont surrender to this poison. My life has totally changed, its scary, sometimes i think what the hell just happened?? I was fine one minute and in complete hell the next. Well it will be a better life now. Ive lost 70 lbs and feel great physically , if i can just get there all the way mentally ill be good to go!

 

Dont ever give up. I never thought i would be alive to write this. I wanted to die. I couldnt do that to my kids though and they have been my saving grace. I wish all of us a full recovery!

[Nikki]

So glad you are feeling better and that there is improvement. Thanks for posting. It was so good to hear about the progress.

 

I do understand what you mean about googling.

 

Hugs