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tjs19, panic attack/anxiety, need advice


tjs19

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Yes, the doctor didn't bother to test for testosterone levels, as he said the medication and withdrawal can cause the erectile dysfunction, and the stress of grad school could also be a factor. They did test for blood sugar, cholesterol, and thyroid, and all came back normal - though my arm took a real beating with terrible bruising! (still looks horrible 4 days later)

 

I have no problem going out and doing things if it's a situation that is routine, but anything beyond that can be difficult for me. I've always been very bad with eye contact and the complexities of conversation. I tend to default to being literal when in conversation and miss implied humor and those sorts of things easily, and also have to "think hard" to come up with humor myself. I can do public speeches (necessary in grad school) - they were easy on the medication, and while they aren't easy without I've managed.

 

Yes, I will probably shift my therapy sessions to getting help with social anxiety. The medication simply covered up the problem but of course did not solve it, as without it I'm slowly shifting back to old habits.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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Things have really gone south since my last post.

 

I've never been so depressed and anxious in my life. I've felt a little blue before, but now there's practically nothing that makes me feel good about myself. Getting things done used to give me a sense of accomplishment (well, it's been two years since that was the case) but now don't make me feel good. I have tons of anxiety about writing my Ph.D. thesis...I have to write it in two months (approx 150 pages) and I only have seven rough draft pages, and even more than that I'm not even done all the experiments I need for the thesis. I used to be able to write and get things done so fast but now doing anything in a deadline is really challenging - sometimes I feel mentally disabled; I have trouble following people in conversation and have to have them repeat themselves frequently. I'm supposed to start a postdoctoral position at the beginning of November, which will be even harder than grad school, but it seems impossible.

 

In the last 2 or 3 months, I've noticed that my memory and attention were getting worse and worse. In the middle of this, I went to a six-day conference and drank 5 out of the 6 days to relieve social anxiety, I guess about 10 drinks a day on average but who really knows...I couldn't remember things that I would read when sober during the conference, it was really bad - I couldn't even fill out simple paperwork correctly because my short-term memory was so bad; I got back home and the first four nights slept only six hours, and went into alcohol withdrawal and hallucinated the second day after ceasing drinking. I've never been so scared. The fourth or fifth day after the last drink, I had a panic attack - now it seems pretty clear to me - the only two times in my life I've had a panic attack, it followed a bout of drunkenness or alcohol withdrawal. Because of the memory problems (and scared about the excessive drinking) I went on a few doctor appointments; a blood test showed one of my B vitamins was borderline low (I think it was B12), so I take a multivitamin, a B-100 complex, and also Vitamin D3 now. My memory seems to be a little better now but my moods are horrible. I cycle between anxiety and depression, almost never do I feel good about myself. Some people that I work with try to be supportive, but nothing seems to change my mood. I also only sleep 5-6 hours a night - I wake up early. I've been referred to a sleep specialist, but it seems pointless to go because of all the other problems I have that could cause the lack of sleep.

 

It wasn't so obvious at first, but after the initial three or four-month acute withdrawal phase of the sertraline and trazodone, my moods have steadily decreased month by month. From February through about May or so, I had anhedonia and a lack of caring about anything in my life (including taking this postdoctoral position, which in the past, this sort of thing would have really excited me), but now it seems I have nothing but bad moods and thoughts and don't know how to break the cycle of anxiety and depression. And I'm so stressed about finishing my Ph.D. and starting my new position in a new city, it seems impossible most of the time.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It sounds like the drinking has destabilised your nervous system even more TJS. I'm so

sorry that you are feeling so bad when you have so much to look forward to and accomplish. 

Could you cut things into bite size chunks, so to speak? Write a page or 2 at a time when you

can focus, and stop when the attention span has passed? I don't know if that is possible but 

would be a way of getting there if it is.  I quite often feel that I can't do something but I break it

down and do it step by step.  Even washing the floor is done tile by tile because the whole floor

looks far too big to do in one go. Tile by tile gets there in the end and I feel I have accomplished 

something. I know there is no comparison but you get what I mean? 

 

I hope this wave passes for you very soon. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

It's now been about a year since I last took an antidepressant pill. I have to say that I feel lucky to be functional. It hasn't been easy, but once in a while I feel more normal. More recently, I slept better a few nights. I have more energy than I did a few months ago, though it's still way less than it used to be. Sexual side effects are still pretty bad but improving slightly. Once in a while I feel emotions - mostly negative, but a few positive. They are a mixture of not real (sudden bouts of crying for mostly no reason at all, usually at night) and real - stress over the career I'm trying to make for myself and struggling with isolation. Writing the thesis during this time, there's been a lot more time for reflection than normal.

 

Despite my good traits, it will be hard to succeed because I'm such a loner, just like my father, and prone to anxiety, especially social anxiety, and am not great at carrying on a conversation. Pretty much all the friends I have here I've made through grad school/work, in the same way as my father. I'm surrounded by people who are at least decent at socializing, have a long-term significant other, in a society (the American Midwest) that puts great value on these things. I've never had a girlfriend, and now I'm 28 and have lived basically by myself for about 8 years now and like the routine of waking up and falling asleep by myself, knowing what to expect when I come home. I've wondered whether love/a relationship was right for me, because I've rarely felt strong attachments to other people. Friends have always come and gone from my life, especially when they or I have moved, and as people get older and settle into long-term relationships, I get left out of the loop because I don't make an effort - because socializing (and even getting out and doing things by myself) takes a lot of effort. Yet when I go more than maybe a day without socializing, I get really lonely. It seems to be a catch-22.

 

Another thing I'm struggling with is my parents. I love them, they love me, but they've always been helicopter parents, and I try to make my own decisions but if they don't agree with them, they overrule me. In this case, I'm moving from Minneapolis to Madison, WI in November. I was going to enlist help from my coworker friends to pack up, I was going to drive a moving truck the four hours from Minneapolis to Madison, and hire people in Madison to help me unload. My parents have overruled me and are hiring/paying for movers to get my stuff into a moving truck, the movers will drive it from Minneapolis to Madison, and unload it, while I guess I'll take a short flight or bus. I love my parents and that they're willing to pay for this for me, but they have a lot of anxiety over the things that I do and the decisions I make that they have to get themselves involved if they don't agree with me, because they worry a lot about me. I just feel like I'm not really growing up in situations like this. It's frustrating.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Tjs, glad you are getting better and have been doing well with your career.

Moving so far away is huge and I admire you for making that decision and

preparing for it. Its a new start for you and I hope it goes well for you.

You will meet new people and make new friends. Maybe meet someone you 'click'

with and form a relationship!

 

Your parents want you to be happy and want to help. They will know you haven't

been well and want to be sure that you get a good start in your new life. They

are letting go and helping in the only way they know how. Enjoy the rest of the time you have with them and make a wonderful new life for yourself, you deserve it.

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Administrator

tjs, please let us know how you're doing from time to time. Good luck with your move, this is a new chapter for you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...

The last few months or so have been so challenging for me. Writing my thesis had to be the most difficult thing I've done due to both reduced mental aptitude from the medications as well as a total loss of motivation. Every day, I struggled to write the thesis - I didn't want to think about it or look at it but didn't have a choice. It's so perplexing - I never thought I would feel this apathetic about finishing my degree. It's sad, really. I want to feel excited about defending my thesis tomorrow but have practically no emotions aside from a little anxiety.

 

I've noticed since I started writing the thesis some of the language that I lost while taking the medications. Oftentimes, I don't even see prepositions or articles unless I proofread a sentence. I mix up singular and plural easily in writing and in conversation. I often have to take pauses in conversation to complete sentences. These things were not true before the meds.

 

My parents are visiting to see my defense and will stick around for a day or two afterwards. My father saw the inside of my apartment and was besides himself. I've totally let myself go - my apartment is incredibly dirty and messy. He and Mom were going to help assess how to pack stuff up for the move but probably aren't now because my apartment is such a mess. I stopped caring about myself the last few years. Maybe it would have happened whether I went on the medications or not, it's hard to know I guess. But I do feel like that is a symptom of a depressed person. I wish I cared more about my appearance and my life in general, but it's just not the case right now. The few emotions I have, uncommon as they are, are negative. But I even would like to have those more because that's better than feeling apathetic. Like I don't even want to put a good impression of myself on other people.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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  • Administrator

Often we think we've lost capacity but it proves to be enough for the task at hand.

 

You've been dealing with these symptoms and writing a thesis, it seems to me your parents expect too much of you. It's understandable that you've had other priorities than keeping your apartment neat.

 

How are you doing now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

It's been 3.5 weeks living in a new city, and I'm 2.5 weeks into my new (not-permanent) job. It's mostly been a frustration. The reality of this new job has not been at all what I expected. It's been way more stressful than I anticipated, and I haven't even started doing experiments in the laboratory yet. It's been scary trying to get started. My brain seems to be a little better than it was during the last writing, but it's still not where I am hoping it would be. Just assimilating and thinking about vast amounts of new information is still a huge, daunting task, unlike the way things were before the medications.

 

I try to keep a positive face at work, but it's hard because I feel like such an embarrassment and a failure already. It would be great to just do something else in my free time to take my mind off it, but I'm stuck trying to think about what project I'll get started on at work. My creativity and tenacity have just been gone now for several years.  The passion that used to be inside of me is just not there.

 

One thing I did not appreciate until recently is how unpredictable drinking alcohol can be post-medication. Even one beer will have a drastic effect into the next day. After drinking a beer one evening, I felt a little peppier/livelier than normal into the next day (temporary serotonin or dopamine boost?). Drinking just one beer the following night, though, led to bad things - feeling more down than has been the norm, more anxious, etc. More than one beer in a night? All bets are off as to how bad the next day or two will be. Unbelievable how sensitive my brain is still.

 

This is how I would map out how things have been to date:

 

Sept 2013 (when took last pill) to Jan 2014 - acute withdrawal phase. Emotionally, I don't recall feeling hugely different than while I was on the pills (a constant, fake feeling of satisfaction, yet a lack of enjoyment from accomplishing things) but both physical and mental symptoms abounded.

Feb 2014 to May 2014 (roughly) - Most, but not all acute physical symptoms are gone. Emotionally, I felt totally empty inside. It seemed like literally nothing mattered - I cared about nothing - neither happy nor sad. It was very scary.

June 2014 - August or September 2014 - Extreme memory loss issues.  While I was taking the pills, I did have severe memory problems (forgetting things 5 minutes after I thought them - like forgetting what I was going to order for food while I was in line - really scary stuff), but they seemed to resurface here. Drinking alcohol was a huge issue here too, because I was self-medicating out of anxiety at a conference. So it's not clear how the memory problems came about, I suppose. I also felt super negative all the time at this stage. Emotionally, maybe straddling this period and the last period (springtime), I recall going through an anger phase - I was frequently aggressively angry at people and things, which just isn't my typical personality.

Sept/Oct 2014 - present - Emotionally, I'm doing a little better than the last "stage," if you will, but it still seems there is a long way to go yet. The random bouts of crying seem to be gone, even though I don't really feel more positive about my long-term outlook - this sort of dread seems to never really abandon me. I think my memory has gotten a little better still. I hedge my bets with the memory by taking lots of notes, especially during meetings. I think it helps. I still don't feel like "me," though.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks for writing an update and mapping out your progress, it seems to me that you are doing really well, even though you're not feeling back to normal.  Moving to a new city and starting a new job are stressful changes for someone not in withdrawal, perhaps you are expecting too much from yourself.

 

You are young and weren't on these drugs for long, I'm sure you will be feeling like yourself eventually, and this stage of your life will be an almost forgotten memory.

 

Have you considered some kind of therapy to address the original anxiety which started this?  Having someone to talk to about underlying issues can often help us develop a more helpful perspective of things.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • 3 months later...
  • Administrator

tjs, how are you doing?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Petunia and Alto, thank you for checking in on me. It's nice to have the support of those who care who have been through this.

 

I'm now 18 months on from my last pill. I'm doing better than during my last post, particularly with short-term memory and somewhat with thinking in general, but I'm still struggling in other areas. Because of my memory, concentration, and thinking/processing speed issues, my work performance has suffered. My boss is the least sympathetic person you can think of - any mistake I make in a meeting, he jumps all over me. (it's not just me, he does that to everyone, but I make mistakes that years ago I wouldn't have - of course, he didn't know me then, as I only started working for him in November.) He told me early on that he didn't want to know anything about my personal (non-science) problems; he noticed early on that I have problems with eye contact, particularly when answering questions, and told me that I should seek help, as it could definitely matter when in a situation in which I have to make a good first impression, like in a job interview. (I am seeking help, though this is my own decision, not his, I'll get to that later.) Over the last week, I've been doing better and he's been throwing me a bone or two during meetings; I am starting to be able to learn things again, although again it's not yet as fast as it used to be, and not really fast enough for the fast-paced world of university science academia. (Note that this job is not a permanent position - it's meant to be an intermediate step towards an independent science career, and so I signed a 12-month contract with an annual renewal. My boss has a large hand in my future, which is scary to think about with how I've struggled at work so far. I'm trying to apply get my own funds from the government but am struggling with that due to my issues in my recovery - see below.)

 

It's a new phase of my recovery; over the last month, I started a windows/waves pattern, or more like mood swings. They are usually prompted by a "serotonin-releasing" event such as exercise or masturbation. I still don't have mental orgasms, but sometimes, once in a while, my member stands at attention. Sometimes, while I may feel good during a "serotonin-releasing" event, I feel sad/cry for no reason at all afterwards. Stressful events (like at work) can prompt something similar - over a two-week stretch, I probably cried once every two days or so, which is just not normal. Sometimes, I had to cry in the middle of the day during work, and so in the middle of the day I had to walk far away from my place of work where no one I knew would find me and just sob for 10 or 15 minutes to get it out of my system. These bursts of emotion are better than before, when I literally had no emotions at all for a few months, but they are really frustrating. I sometimes feel mentally unstable in terms of my emotions, which is a horrible feeling. One coworker who I trust, I vaguely disclosed to him that I was struggling with getting over medications that I used to take, in particular with anxiety and making decisions - only because of strange things I said or did at work that confused him. (my coworkers told me one time that I looked stressed and needed to relax - I go through stretches where I simply cannot stay calm and can't hide it.) I also have stopped drinking for the foreseeable future - even after one drink, I often have a horrible time sleeping and have terrible rebound anxiety the next day. Who knows whether this is due to medication recovery or my past problems with binge drinking in social situations.

 

I went to my new university's mental health clinic and got evaluated. The guy determined that my main issue is social anxiety (which it has always been, irrespective of my medication recovery issues) and is looking to get me into a 10-week program aimed at addressing social anxiety issues run by an expert. So I'm looking forward to that, though he and I don't know whether I can jump in in the middle of the 10 week period. In the meantime, he and I are looking to address my work-related anxiety issues. One big problem is that I was supposed to apply for government funding for my position, which is due in early April, but due to my anxieties about making decisions, focusing/concentration issues (especially when my anxieties get bad - I can literally cannot think sometimes), and because I was helping think of ideas/write some of my boss's own grant renewal which is due at the same time as my own personal grant renewal is due, I basically didn't have any time/space to think about my own government funding application. When I reminded my boss with a little more than a month left (two weeks ago or so), he basically told me that I had to "show more leadership" and should have reminded him sooner, and now there's little time left, and in my situation, this is basically the last time it makes sense to try to apply (it would be too late to apply in the next cycle - people would grill me about it at job interviews in the future). It's very difficult to get a decent faculty position without having gotten one of these government grants, so now that most of his own grant application writing is done, I'm starting to focus on ideas for my own grant application, but the process is starting way later than it should have and I don't know whether there will be enough time to finish it. I didn't have these kind of issues juggling multiple deadlines in the past, but it's obviously an issue now, and it may have already hurt my career.

 

It's been very difficult to get through this period, and I feel lucky to have my parents and sister to talk to. Aside from my counselor and you internet folk, there's basically no one else I can talk to about all these issues.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

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It's still hard to do "simple" tasks. I start something and then forget the point of what I was doing and have trouble completing what I was doing and end up not completing anything. I can't help but feel depressed, when my brain used to work so well and now struggles to do things that I'm expected to do easily. Prospects for my career feel so dim...

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post
  • 2 months later...

I've been struggling. My productivity at work is poor, and I really struggle to plan and execute well-designed laboratory experiments, which my boss criticizes. I'm not coming up with good project ideas, either. It seems like thinking about anything complex is a struggle. Learning things is difficult. This has been carrying over into my (lack of) a fulfilling personal life, as I have little confidence in pretty much anything I do. I'm worried about finding a permanent position after this temporary job; my lack of performance will likely lead to bad recommendation letters from my adviser. I don't know how to turn things around.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

Maybe having an open and honest conversation with your boss might be helpful. After all you are in the field of science, he should be more understanding.

It is a hard position to be in. Best of luck.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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It's actually the opposite. He told me early on that he didn't want to know about my personal problems. He's not understanding. I've been at a low in my life in the last 3 years, it's unbelievable how far I've fallen. My last boss never said it explicitly but cut me some breaks because she knew how hard I worked to succeed despite my personal problems (it also helped that I did very well at the start of grad school and she saw that). Though I didn't mention it, I'm still experiencing windows and waves, but it seems like they have to have a "trigger", like the stress of meeting with my current boss. Otherwise the nebulous middle ground, where there's little emotion one way or another, seems to dominate.

 

I think one of the big issues is that I'm a poor sleeper. Anything more than six hours is gravy. It's not enough. I'm trying to get exercising again soon which hopefully will help, but I hurt my back in February and actually had to miss a day of work because I couldn't get out of bed. Realistically (if I had a full-time job) I would have missed multiple days but dragged myself in despite all the pain because of deadlines and what not. Whether it was from the original injury or compensating my gait, I have had ongoing back pain (sciatica) since then - it's been 3+ months now. Hopefully my doctor will have some useful exercises, or perhaps a referral for physical therapy.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

Hi tjs19,

 

Have you tried accupuncture for your back pain? As you know exercise is the best thing for stress. Have you tried yoga and meditation? I find it is relaxing.

Do you have to stay at this job or can you change?

I know that it is hard but you will get better. If only time would hurry up.

Anxiety is a bully. You have to fight the bully . Do you see a psychologist to help you cope with anxiety?

Chin up , keep going. You will heal.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post

Those are things I need to try. Something besides back exercises and walking would help.

 

Well, I don't have a lot of options with regards to the job. Because my project looks like it could be published, which would be ok for my career, it probably isn't worth finding another job of a similar type. I wouldn't have a good recommendation letter from my boss if I did that, which could make it hard, and moving yet again after just a year would be tumultuous for my situation. Plus, early on in this job I told my boss I would stay two years before departing for a permanent job (pending the funding situation).

 

I started thinking about all the things I have to do and the future, just a little while ago, and I nearly gave myself a panic attack not to mention depressed over my slow progress at work. This feels horrible and hopeless, it is paralyzing when it happens.

 

I had scheduled to see a psychologist, we established that most of my anxiety at that time was about work which had gotten better for a time. But, because I had been diagnosed in the past with social anxiety and he agreed with that, he decided to refer me to a specialist of treating social anxiety who runs a program for it. We played phone tag for a while, but I never managed to schedule an appointment with this social anxiety specialist and get in to this program. Simply put, I got distracted and overwhelmed with other stuff and never followed through with getting into this treatment program after the first few tries didn't work. This just seems to be my pattern, I can't seem to focus and follow through on one thing anymore these days. When I try to, it just seems like I fall to pieces.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post
NervousKitten

Hi TJS... I can relate to what you are going through and still struggle with motivation and focus. One of the things that has helped me greatly has been going for walks. I started off just a few minutes several times a day and I routinely cover over 11,000 steps per day (about 5 miles) and got a Vivofit tracking bracelet to help with motivation, but started off just using an app on my phone.

 

Some days I walk slow, other days fast. Sometimes I go for 6 or 7 walks, other days I get all my steps done in 2 or 3. I don't beat myself up if I don't hit my goal, but I push a little at the end of the day to try and get as many done as I can. Walking is something I can do when I'm injured or sick (just not far or as intense  ^_^ ) and I even attempted to run on one of my walks last week. 

 

I haven't found any way to work magic for my focus though... I get so easily distracted and just want to get through the day sometimes that I do anything to forget that this is my life by losing myself in games.

1999 Prozac with occasional Xanax 

2002 Effexor Xr with occasional Valium

2010 Off Effexor (slow taper)

2010 Prozac rx to help with Effexor withdrawal. Activating, so stopped.

2011 Zoloft rx

2013 Zoloft stops working after a few increases, decide to stop taking it

2013 October last Zoloft dose after a 6-9 month taper

2014 January, April, May, June ER inducing anxiety attacks

2014 June Ativan prescribed as needed. Last taken Nov 2014, but still have pills just in case

 

Link to post

Huge anxiety spike again tonight, can't sleep, feeling of dread and hopelessness and fear engulfing me. Worried about a presentation that I'm giving next week and trying to convince myself that it won't be terrible. Telling myself this isn't really me....

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

I know that feeling too well.

What works for me is 10 min. mindfullness practice.

Roobois tea helps too. You might think that this is silly, but when you feel that horrible anxiety coming on, start shaking your arms vigorously. Then start shaking your legs and arms together. An acupuncturist told me to do this. It works. You literally, "shake off", that horrible feeling.

Try to meditate 10min. at least 3-4 times a week.

I have set myself a challenge to see if mindfulness really changes neuropathways in the in the brain, as claimed.

I have been practicing every day for the last 3 weeks. I see bit of improvement.

I hope to see great improvement in another 5 weeks.

Set your self a challenge and see if it works.

You are a scientist, see if it works.

Have you ever tried inositol?

I have never tried it, too scared. Supposed to help with anxiety. Since you are a scientist, I thought I should ask if you know anything about it?

Good luck with the project. Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post

Damn, incredible how tough these last few weeks have been. Giving a presentation on my research on Tuesday night and I'm terrified. I'd feel better if I had results, but it's so hard for me to think clearly that I've been making only very slow progress in the lab and have been making a lot of mistakes. Nearly constant stress, feels so unhealthy and unnatural but I can't shake it, plus the poor sleep to boot (waking up very early, usually in the six o'clock hour even with only six hours). It takes me forever to accomplish anything. I have a lot of trouble expressing myself. Some of my coworkers have started to make fun of me, even in my presence. It sucks. I never imagined life would become this difficult.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

Your co-workers are rude!

What exactly are you researching if you don't mind me asking?

Stand up for your self, don't let your co-workers make fun of you.

Are you from Australia?

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

I am in the sciences.

 

Everyone who is paying attention can see I'm struggling, and I feel like a laughingstock. A couple of coworkers even told me during lunch that they wouldn't recommend that people join our lab due to my struggles. I can't say I disagree with them; it took way too long for me to find a project to work on because my boss doesn't really care about mentoring, and I have little confidence. I'm stressed out all the time, and I rarely do things that make me happy because I'm always worrying about the next thing I have to do at work.

 

I'm not spontaneous, either, so I don't have comebacks when people take digs at me.

 

I'm not from Australia.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry you are still having problems at work tjs, I agree with hopefull that your co-workers are rude, and insensitive. Complete recovery can take a while for some people.

 

Many people find  fish oil and magnesium helpful, see King of Supplements: Omega 3 Fatty Acids (Fish Oil) and Magnesium, Nature's Calcium Channel Blocker

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to post

Hi Tjs19,You should not have to have come backs. You are at work and not at kindergarten. I would speak to someone in human resources and have the matter dealt in accordance to workplace protocols.

This is not an acceptable behavior at a work force and you don't need to put up with it. I know you have social anxiety, but don't be afraid to stand up for your self. Don't let people walk all over you.

Good luck with it. I hope you can resolve the issue at work. How is your anxiety?

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post

Thank you for the info Petu, I started taking a multivitamin recently. I will have to look to see whether they are in it.

 

Hopefull - there's really only one incident that might be HR-worthy. The other one I mentioned, they weren't actually making fun of me but essentially admitting that they could tell things had not been going well (this was just two other coworkers during lunch).

 

My anxiety is pretty bad these days. A lot of it is work related, but also more generally worrying about getting a decent permanent job someday and how that could be hindered by my current experience. It's just anxiety that never peaks and then falls away, but it's always there and eating away at me. I think it would be better if I could simply do something that I enjoy, for even a half day, a couple of times a week, getting my mind away from work.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post
  • 1 year later...

It has been a while. How are you doing these days?

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post
  • 4 weeks later...

Hopefull, thanks for asking. I think the biggest change over the last year is that I don't sit terrified of everything at my desk at work anymore. The work environment is somewhat better than it used to be, though still not great. I still don't feel like myself - haven't for close to four years now - but I usually can focus enough to get something done every day now during the week. No longer do I have the days where I'm so broken and lost and terrified that I can barely keep myself together. The random crying fits are gone, though I must admit my mental state is not the greatest; frustration, disappointment, loneliness, and worry are still pretty common feelings. I'm still feeling quite lethargic; frequently, it takes a lot to motivate myself to do something. Though I'm only 30 years old, I still feel much older than that - feelings of passion are rare.

 

What doesn't help is I've had recurring back/leg pain (probably sciatica) which really keeps me grounded. I'd like to exercise at least a couple of days a week but the pain/weakness in my core and my leg is difficult to bear. Yoga-type exercises have been a part of my morning roughly every other day but barely any improvement has been detectable. I'm on painkillers and just saw my doctor, who gave me a physical therapy referral and approved me to get an MRI of my back. It sounds like it could take months to get better. This summer felt like a totally lost one because I barely was able to enjoy the outdoors where I live, which is very nice in the summer.

 

Though there is a long way to go yet, and I still have waves, I'm functioning pretty well on my own now. Occasionally, maybe once a month or every other month, I have a window where I feel a little like my old self. Though my brain still doesn't move as quickly as it once did, it also has clearly improved to the point of adequacy. I can sometimes juggle a few tasks "at once." That wasn't the case a year ago. Really hoping now that my moods improve - it's still not easy living like there's nothing to look forward to.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

Hi Tjs19,

Thank you for stopping by my thread.

It is nice to hear from you.

It is great that you are doing better than a year ago.

You will continue to heal as the time passes.

Be careful with pain killers.

Have you tried accupuncture?

Sometimes that can help with pain.

Have you been off AD's for 2 years?

As you know, brain takes a lot longer to heal.

I am seeing improvements and I am still tappering off Mirtazapine. I am down to 3.5mg. I hope to get off Mirtazapine by April /May of next year. It has taken me 2 years to get to 3.5mg.

Emotianally I am doing better to.

The Health Commission dismissed my claim because of time frame. You have 1 year to lodge a written complaint.

My complaint was outside that time line, there fore it was not accepted.

I am yet to lodge a complaint against my doctor with AHPRA. I just don't have the energy to be fighting with the system that has been set up to protect the doctors, rather than the patients.

But I feel if I don't lodge a complaint, nothing will ever change.

 

In regards to feeling demotivated, think of it as a temporary thing.

It is not really you, but WDS. I feel like that sometimes too.

The motivation will come back, it just takes time.

Glad things are working out for you at work. Being at work at least keeps you buisy. Do you still feel anxious at times? You probably feel older than you are, because most 30 year old's have not experienced WDS.

That kind of experience really changes your personality.

I have seen glimpses of my old self too, so I can relate to that.

Our brain is clearing out the cobwebs and at times the real us emerges.

I guess it takes time to set the brain to pre-factory standard.

Wait patiently and you will get your self back.

Take care, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi tjs,

 

If you are considering acupuncture please read:  acupuncture

 

From Post #6:  What I learned from fellow AD w/d sufferers before I went was make sure that they understand that you do NOT want detoxification.

 

From Post #8:  Make absolutely sure your acupuncturist understands you want calming treatments, not stimulating treatments. Some may make the same mistake doctors do, thinking your "depression" needs some kind of stimulation.

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post

Chessie Cat,

 

I suggested for Tjs19 try Accupuncture for the pain he is experiencing in his back.

Accupuncture can help ease the pain.

It is better than the pain killers.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Yes, thanks for clarifying that.  I realised but I wanted to make sure that nothing would be triggered by having the acupuncture for the pain.  I should have explained that when I posted.

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

Link to post

Hi Hopefull,

 

I went off ADs in September 2013. It has been 3 years now. It took about 2.5 years after the last dose, slightly more than that, to feel ok on a day-to-day basis, although it's not what I was used to before I started ADs. My imagination and quick thinking/spontaneity is not at the level that I was used to in the past. Anxiety is not too common these days but still hits hard from time to time.

 

Chessie, thanks for warning about stimulating acupuncture treatments. It's not something I'm considering yet, but I wouldn't rule it out forever. For now, I'm just trying to get in touch with my doctor about the MRI results on my lower back. The official summary of the MRIs that is available on my online personal health database sounds ominous, but my doctor did tell me to expect abnormalities, so I'm not ready to freak out quite yet.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

Hi Tjs19,

 

You have come a long way.

It takes a long time to recover.

I think that the anxiety is the worst symptom while going through WDS.

Especially if you are anxious person as it is.

WDS really ramps up the anxiety.

Thankfully my anxiety has been pretty good lately.

The only thing that can trigger my anxiety is when I am reminded in certain situations how I felt.

Do you get this?

Don't worry if you are still experiencing cognitive difficulties it will sort it self out.

Recovery. slow, but it is inevitable.

Hope everything works out well in regards to MRI results.

Take care, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

Link to post
  • 2 months later...

I received shocking news yesterday. A lesion on my tongue was biopsied last week, and based on the doctor's opinion, there wasn't going to be anything unusual there. However, the results came back: it is an oral cancer. I've had this lesion for five years or so; I had it biopsied five years ago, and it was precancerous then - but not cancerous. The worst part is that the appointment was on Friday, so now that I have follow up questions, I have to wait until next week.

 

Work had become more difficult recently because I had been having increased (social) anxiety on a day to day basis interacting with my colleagues. I need to help myself, somehow, because I have a problem. I rarely go out because mentally I have lots of negative thoughts about social interactions and physically I don't feel so good (tongue and back pain - though the back is getting better).

 

I feel pretty lost right now.

Prescribed:

Sertraline HCl (Zoloft) (25 mg - 1 pill) for anxiety - took from October 2012 to September 2013; tapered over the last month or so with the smallest dose being approximately quarter of a pill/6.25 mg

Trazodone (50 mg) for sleep/anxiety - took from September 2012 to February (roughly) 2013, then 25 mg from March 2013 through August 2013; tapered over 3-4 weeks or so over the last month of consumption

Zolpidem tartrate (Ambien) (10 mg) for sleep "as needed" - only took three of these total (terrible rebound anxiety the next day)

Link to post

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