☼ Phil's Lexapro withdrawal

[Phil]

Hello to everyone.

 

My name is Phil, I'm 25 and I'm currently withdrawing from Lexapro. My dosage is currently 1mg. I'm finding this process extremely difficult and hope to find some emotional support on these forums. My thinking at that moment is quite fuzzy so I apologize - I can't really thick of much to say right now. I hope to share more in time.

My current main issues are constant worry and rumination, and emotional numbness and difficulty thinking (ok I just realized that sounds a bit of a paradox, lol. What I mean is, that I seem to be thinking constantly, but not really able to feel anything).

I saw my doctor today for a referral for counselling, and he prescribed Buspar for my anxiety. I doubt I will take it - don;t want to end up with more problems.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Phil.

[compsports]

Hello to everyone.

 

My name is Phil, I'm 25 and I'm currently withdrawing from Lexapro. My dosage is currently 1mg. I'm finding this process extremely difficult and hope to find some emotional support on these forums. My thinking at that moment is quite fuzzy so I apologize - I can't really thick of much to say right now. I hope to share more in time.

My current main issues are constant worry and rumination, and emotional numbness and difficulty thinking (ok I just realized that sounds a bit of a paradox, lol. What I mean is, that I seem to be thinking constantly, but not really able to feel anything).

I saw my doctor today for a referral for counselling, and he prescribed Buspar for my anxiety. I doubt I will take it - don;t want to end up with more problems.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Phil.

 

Hi Phil,

 

Welcome to the forum. Glad to have you aboard.

 

We definitely understand the fuzzy thinking issue. I can look at something for minutes before it gets into my brain.

 

Definitely don't take the Buspar as that will simply cause more problems. Speaking of foggy brain, I know there are natural ways to deal with anxiety but I am drawing a complete blank. Hopefully, someone will have some suggestions.

 

Again, welcome Phil.

 

CS

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Phil.

 

Agree with cs on the Buspar. Once your nervous system takes a hit from withdrawal, the withdrawal symptoms cannot be treated as though they were normal psychological symptoms. Often your nervous system becomes hypersensitive and unintended, unpleasant consequences arise from the second drug.

 

Doctors are often confused by withdrawal symptoms and reflexively overmedicate, trying to pound your nervous system into submission.

 

What was your original dosage? What was your taper like? How long have you had these symptoms?

[angie007]

Hi Phil,

Welcome, its great to have you here.

 

Wish you well with your taper, im newly off paxil too,

and feeling a lot better, although not symptom FREE yet lol.

You can do this, and yep i understand those symptoms too,

as will most of us here.

 

Buspar, hm, not for me buddy, drugs are what caused aLL

of my horrendous symptoms, i did wd with zero help from

medication, not easy, but doable, and im so glad i did.

[Phil]

Thanks for the welcome guys

 

I dont think I'll be taking the Buspar, must admit I was tempted, but I agree with what Surviving said, what's going on right now is not normal psychological symptoms.

What's funny is that the dotor had printed off the prescription before I even had a chance to say whether I wanted it or not! lol.

 

What was your original dosage? What was your taper like? How long have you had these symptoms?

My original Lexapro dosage was 5mg, which I was on for a few months in the summer of 2009. I know, ages ago right? After cold-turkeying it and experiencing severe anxiety, I was mis-advised on another forum to get back on and taper off slowly, which I have been doing ever since. I wish I had just stayed off it now, but oh well, what's done is done.

 

Now my main concern is trying to get off this last 1mg. Because I crush the tablet and mix it with juice, it's often hard to get an exact amount, so there have been days when I have accidentally taken too much or too little.

I can tell the difference by how I feel - too much and I feel more tired, too little and I get panicky and ruminate a lot. I'm thinking of coming off this last 1mg in the next month as I'm sick of tapering for so long.

 

One of my questions is (not sure if I should ask this here or in another section) - does withdrawal cause something that could be described as a kind of psychosis? I know thats a horrible word but its the only way I can describe some of my experiences recently (worrying ridiculously, not able to feel any emotions at times). Sometimes I find it hard to see all these feelings as withdrawal and think theres something wrong with me.

 

Anyway, again thanks for the welcome and support guys, it's much appreciated, I have a good feeling about this forum

[Altostrata]

Before we go any further -- Phil, Lexapro comes in a liquid. Get a prescription from your doctor right away. It's clear you are very sensitive to dosage and need to titrate more precisely and slowly.

 

....My current main issues are constant worry and rumination, and emotional numbness and difficulty thinking (ok I just realized that sounds a bit of a paradox, lol. What I mean is, that I seem to be thinking constantly, but not really able to feel anything)....

 

Difficulty concentrating, emotional anesthesia, and worrying and anxiety are common withdrawal symptoms.

 

....One of my questions is (not sure if I should ask this here or in another section) - does withdrawal cause something that could be described as a kind of psychosis?....

 

Psychosis has become a basket where doctors put "we don't know what these weird symptoms are, so we'll call it psychosis and medicate up the wazoo -- maybe something will work."

 

Sometimes people with withdrawal symptoms are affected so severely they kill themselves or other people or otherwise do violent and dangerous things. I guess you could call it a kind of psychosis. But psychosis is in itself sort of a generic term.

 

Phil, what you have is not psychosis. It sounds like withdrawal symptoms.

 

Antidepressant withdrawal syndrome is almost always misdiagnosed and mismedicated, causing further neuropsychiatric damage to someone who would otherwise be in the normal range of psychiatric health.

 

Unpatient yourself -- you are not the arbitrary diagnoses that have been appended to you. Few of us are. Psychiatry is far from an exact science, or any science at all, really.

 

Aside from providing support and reassurance, one of the purposes of this site is to educate medicine with the stories of people going through withdrawal from psychiatric drugs, because medicine is so ignorant about the problem.

[alexjuice]

Yes, Phil, please ignore the links to titration videos I posted.

 

I was unaware that Lexapro was readily available in a liquid.

 

Surviving, the administrator, is vastly more knowledgable about antidepressant w/d than I. This is a good instance of proof of that...

 

Alex

[Healing]

But that was *really* helpful and kind of you to go to so much trouble, Alex!

[stan]

thanks Alex, it was interesting and can be helpful for another A/D who is not liquid

[Altostrata]

Yes, that post would be great in the Tapering forum, attached to Tapering Techniques http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-tapering-techniques/

[alexjuice]

thanks Alex, it was interesting and can be helpful for another A/D who is not liquid

 

Well, though I thought the information would be helpful, in retrospect I probably shouldn't have linked to those videos as they are not specific to antidepressants but to benzodiazepines.

 

I think that anyone tapering from any drug that is not a benzo via titration would be well advised to seek advice specific to that particular drug. I just happen to have personal experience with benzo titration and made a generalization that is probably, like many generalizations, too broad to serve as the basis for decision making.

 

Specifically, I'd point out that milk is advocated in benzo circles but I have no idea if it would be ideal for all drugs. Also rates of taper recommended in that video would, in many cases, not be appropriate for different drugs (even benzos for some) and the maker of the video claims that benzos dissolve in milk which, to my understanding is false. Understanding how to stir a suspension to get a reasonably even distribution of the compound in the base liquid is very important. Still, as a visual illustration of how to use liquid titration as a reduction method, I think the videos are helpful. I know I was confused about titration which sounded very confusing in written instructions. These videos helped me see how easy it really is.

 

I titrated down a portion of my benzo dose and based my method on the method in these videos. I did make some changes. I used water instead of milk (making stirring more critical) and used an oral syringe to draw out the 'dispose' portion from the cup rather than pouring the 'keep' portion back into the cylinder. Then I would drink the liquid in the cup, rinse it with water and then drink the water to capture the residue. I used the same instruments which, in total, cost about $25 or $30 (tops) from amazon. I also got a free syringe from my pharmacist. The only difference was I didn't use a pippette because I could only find them for sale in lots by the 100s. I simply took a drinking straw and submerged it in the water a bit and then covered the straw with my finger creating a vacuum that would hold the water in the straw as I pulled the straw from the water. Then I'd wheel around and lift my finger and POOF, the excess water would drop in the sink. This worked fine. 1ml increments are not all that minute, I didn't think.

 

Again, though, I think anyone considering titration should consult with others experienced with the particular drug they intend to taper before proceeding.

 

Alex

 

ps - Stan I appreciate your comment and hope you are doing well today...

[alexjuice]

But that was *really* helpful and kind of you to go to so much trouble, Alex!

 

Gee whiz, thanks Healing. :-)

[Neuroplastic]

Alex's post moved to Tapering Techniques.

[Altostrata]

[Alex.I's response to Phil reposted by surviving -- hope this is not too confusing!!]

 

Welcome Phil.

 

Congrats on getting down to such a low dose. I myself went on buspar and would second, third, fourth... that getting on buspar for anxiety would most likely not help. I found it not only ineffective for relieving anxiety but an addition to my misery as it became another Drug that I had to be removed from.

 

I am an anxiety sufferer myself and it was the primary cause for me getting on Drugs. There are many non-medication forms of anxiety treatment that have helped me, though certain kinds of anxiety respond better to certain treatments. Also, there are many people who develop anxiety in w/d and their anxiety issues seem to emanate from w/d itself. However, you sound like me in that anxiety was your original problem that led you to medicate. What kind of anxiety problems did you suffer from?

 

Your current w/d symptoms don't really sound like psychosis to me, they sound like a lot of the symptoms that I went through as an anxiety sufferer withdrawing from an antidepressant. If you're curious, this is the definition of psychosis

 

Patients suffering from psychosis have impaired reality testing; that is, they are unable to distinguish personal subjective experience from the reality of the external world. They experience hallucinations and/or delusions that they believe are real, and may behave and communicate in an inappropriate and incoherent fashion. Psychosis may appear as a symptom of a number of mental disorders, including mood and personality disorders. It is also the defining feature of schizophrenia, schizophreniform disorder, schizoaffective disorder, delusional disorder, and the psychotic disorders (i.e., brief psychotic disorder, shared psychotic disorder, psychotic disorder due to a general medical condition, and substance-induced psychotic disorder).

 

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/psychosis

 

I suspect that you are not hearing voices or believing things about reality (say the French are really half-reptilian creatures from Venus) that 'normal' people would think were delusional. Correct if wrong.

[Phil]

Hi guys, apologies for not responding to this thread sooner! I had taken a break from online for a while and kind of wanted to forget about withdrawal for a while. Also I didnt have email notifications turned on for replies so didnt realize there were so many.

 

Firstly thanks for those videos Alex, I appreciate the help. I'm kind of unsure really about changing my current tapering method, I probably should, but I get so confused easily.

 

About Lexapro liquid - I went to the doctor ages ago and she said they only have liquid that amounts to double the amount of Lexapro I take, so it would have been confusing to measure accurately. It's so long ago I cant remember the exact details now.

 

About psychosis - I'm not hearing any voices, or seeing french reptiles or anything (lol). I guess what made me think of psychosis was when I was worrying obsessively, and it's like my brain wouldn't stop chattering away. I experience depersonalization too, and a lot of the time feel like I "cant think" about anything. Like, my friend will ask me something and I say "yeah" automatically before Ive even processed what he just said. Almost robotically.

 

I wont be taking the Buspar - thanks for relating your experience of it Surviving.

I also agree about "Unpatienting myself", Surviving, my thinking is really leaning that way now.

 

My core issues (pre-medication) are social anxiety and avoidance, connected to my upbringing. I'm due to see a psychotherapist soon, so I'm hoping that will help (though I will be careful in pointning out that my current symptoms are related to withdrawal. I also refuse to be labelled by them.)

[solida]

Hi Phil,

 

don t worry about the obsessive rumination-My brain was chatting so much that I thought it would snap sometimes.And it was strange,because I always had such a strange feeling that I really thought I get a psychosis,I can t describe it but it was just like that you will lose control of yourself and your thoughts.It s gone now.

 

In early withdrawal ,after my reverse reaction,I really suffered episodes which were similar to a psychosis-I did hear voices,I had paranoia,horrible violent thoughts,or meant to see people with grimaces......I knew it was withdrawal related and I could handle it by not giving attention to it.But it was scary like hell.

 

solida

[Altostrata]

....Firstly thanks for those videos Alex, I appreciate the help. I'm kind of unsure really about changing my current tapering method, I probably should, but I get so confused easily.

 

About Lexapro liquid - I went to the doctor ages ago and she said they only have liquid that amounts to double the amount of Lexapro I take, so it would have been confusing to measure accurately. It's so long ago I cant remember the exact details now....

 

Phil, I'm afraid your doctor is mathematically challenged. If you need to, it is entirely possible to titrate from 1mg Lexapro using the liquid, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

 

The liquid comes in a 1mg Lexapro to 1mL concentration, 1:1, not double. Even if it were double, all you have to do is take half.

 

All you need to do is use the small 1mL oral syringe. It measures in decrements as small as .01 mL.

 

I have had to titrate with decrements that small off other medications -- you may not be as sensitive to small drops.

[Phil]

Glad you can relate, Solida. I think the best way to deal with it is certainly not giving attention to it, but it's hard isnt it.

 

Thanks Surviving. Looks like another trip to my doctor is in order! I wish I could remember her reasoning now. I think it was something to do with that they only had this extra strength liquid.

I have 1ml syringes so thats no problem.

[Phil]

I went to the doctors today, explained that I'm just on 1mg Lexapro and asked for liquid Lexapro to make it easier. She has given me a prescription for some.

 

However. The solution is quite strong, every 1ml of it = 10mg of Lexapro.

 

I'm not sure if this is worth trying because I'm worried of messing up my dosage. For this to work I would need to take 0.1ml of the liquid. It is possible, I'm just a little scared because it'd be so easy to measure just a little bit more or less than what I need.

 

Any thoughts?

[stan]

with a syringe 1 ml

[Altostrata]

Phil, I apologize for impugning your doctor's math ability. It turns out in the UK, the liquid form is available only at a 10:1 concentration.

 

Personally, I would think taking 0.1mL of the liquid form in the 1mL oral syringe would be more significantly more precise than cutting up a tablet.

 

The 1mL oral syringe has 10 ticks within .1mL, enabling taking .01mL. It is the small slim oral syringe:

 

I've taken dosages of less than .1mL with this syringe.

 

There are hints that the liquid form can be diluted with water. I would verify with a conscientious pharmacist who would be willing to research this.

 

If you have Cipralex from Lundbeck, contact the manufacturer at http://www.cipralex.com/uni0/contactus.aspx

[Punarbhava]

Hi Phil.......

 

I've been wanting to say "welcome" to the new site for some time now but this has been a really rough month and I've hardly been active. So, a warm WELCOME to you Phil!!

 

I haven't read your whole thread and I'm restricted due to computer sensitivities so please forgive me if I'm mentioning something that other's may have included in their responses.

 

First off, make sure that the liquid Lexapro is not generic or if you're on generic form of Lexapro make sure the liquid is the same generic.

 

My mind has not completely cleared from this recent wave but I do know, from personal experience with my particular AD, there was even a difference between Generic versions of the same drug. For example, I was on Doxepin .......came in two generics at my pharmacy: Apo-Doxepin and Novo-Doxepin. I ALWAYS had to ensure that the pharmacy filled my prescription for Apo-Doxepin since, I noticed a difference in therapeutic quality between the Apo and Novo, not to mention a noticable difference between the brand name Doxepin and the Generics.

 

If memory serves me correct, there can be up to 20 percent difference in active ingredients between the brand name and generics. Someone can correct me if my percentages are off. Regardless of the percentage there IS a difference between the brand name and generics.

 

I know the liquid version of Doxepin was too thick and sticky/gooey for me to work with, not to mention, I saw other people having difficulties when switching to prescribed liquid forms of their drug and thus, I decided to stick to the liquid titration methods, used for benzo tapering. that Alex described.

 

 

With that said, there are many others who have used the liquid versions with success.

 

One thing is for certain........you must ensure that you accurately calculate the liquid prescription to be of equal mgs to your current dose that you are taking.

 

Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck and let us know how things go. We're here to assist you in whatever ways we can.

 

 

Punar

[Phil]

Thanks for the replies

 

I'm going to the pharmacy today to *try* and get some liquid Lexapro. I had a lot of trouble last week trying to get it - both pharmacies in the city I live didn't have it or had some problem ordering it in. So I was advised to try some closer to me. I'm not very hopeful.

 

Thanks for that info Surviving.

[Phil]

Hi Phil.......

 

I've been wanting to say "welcome" to the new site for some time now but this has been a really rough month and I've hardly been active. So, a warm WELCOME to you Phil!!

 

I haven't read your whole thread and I'm restricted due to computer sensitivities so please forgive me if I'm mentioning something that other's may have included in their responses.

 

First off, make sure that the liquid Lexapro is not generic or if you're on generic form of Lexapro make sure the liquid is the same generic.

 

My mind has not completely cleared from this recent wave but I do know, from personal experience with my particular AD, there was even a difference between Generic versions of the same drug. For example, I was on Doxepin .......came in two generics at my pharmacy: Apo-Doxepin and Novo-Doxepin. I ALWAYS had to ensure that the pharmacy filled my prescription for Apo-Doxepin since, I noticed a difference in therapeutic quality between the Apo and Novo, not to mention a noticable difference between the brand name Doxepin and the Generics.

 

If memory serves me correct, there can be up to 20 percent difference in active ingredients between the brand name and generics. Someone can correct me if my percentages are off. Regardless of the percentage there IS a difference between the brand name and generics.

 

I know the liquid version of Doxepin was too thick and sticky/gooey for me to work with, not to mention, I saw other people having difficulties when switching to prescribed liquid forms of their drug and thus, I decided to stick to the liquid titration methods, used for benzo tapering. that Alex described.

 

 

With that said, there are many others who have used the liquid versions with success.

 

One thing is for certain........you must ensure that you accurately calculate the liquid prescription to be of equal mgs to your current dose that you are taking.

 

Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck and let us know how things go. We're here to assist you in whatever ways we can.

 

 

Punar

 

Thankyou Punar

 

*If* I manage to get this liquid version I'll be sure to note if it's generic or not.

Actually I'm thinking of marching in and demanding that they fly in some liquid just for me (haha), since no pharmacies seem to stock it.

[Punarbhava]

Thankyou Punar

 

*If* I manage to get this liquid version I'll be sure to note if it's generic or not.

Actually I'm thinking of marching in and demanding that they fly in some liquid just for me (haha), since no pharmacies seem to stock it.

 

My pleasure Phil! So sorry it's been a problem getting the liquid. Wish you success with this.

 

 

BTW, Claim your voice and do all the demanding you need to do to get what you need.

 

 

They may be able to order it for you. IF they want your continued business, they'll order it n'est pas? Many pharmacies (at least where I live) will make special orders, however, the product may take some time to arrive.

 

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[Phil]

Thanks

 

I'm pleased to say that I found a chemist who has it, I can collect it tommorrow. So that's one less worry!

[Punarbhava]

Thanks

 

I'm pleased to say that I found a chemist who has it, I can collect it tommorrow. So that's one less worry!

 

 

FANTASTIC Phil!! So happy you found it locally!

 

 

Punar

[Phil]

Ugh, life can't ever be simple can it?

 

I went to collect it today and it turns out that they no longer do Lexapro liquid at 10mg per 1ml. They only do 20mg per 1ml now. So the guy said he'd speak to my doctor and then call me.

 

I don't think it's even worth bothering now, it would be just too risky to try and measure such tiny amounts of such a concentrated liquid. I think I'll stick with the juice method.

[Altostrata]

20:1? That's ridiculous, given how strong Lexapro is. 20mg is a very high dose.

 

Phil, are you dissolving the tablet in juice?

 

Suggest you ask the pharmacist if the liquid can be diluted with water, and how stable it is when diluted.

[Phil]

Yeah at the moment I dissolve a tablet into the equal amount of juice.

I dont think I want to go back to the pharamcy to be honest, I'll just stick with my current method and hope for the best.

[Altostrata]

Well, if it works, it works.

 

When you dissolve the tablet in juice, do you take the liquid with an oral syringe? How long does the liquid last, in potency?

[Phil]

I'm having a very tough time trying to make the decision to come off Lexapro or not. I've read many of the histories of people on here and other w/d sites and it seems like it takes so many years before people can even function again.

Also, I have experience of coming off meds prior to Lexapro (although it was cold turkey). I tried various ssris in 2003-2004, and the last I cold turkeyed off was prozac at the start of 2004. Looking back I can see that it took me a long time to fully recover. Out of the last ten years or so 2008 was my best year by far, then after a relationship breakup and depression at the end of that year, I was struggling to cope alone, and so went on Lexapro in 2009, not realizing at the time that all my problems prior to this were from a w/d reaction.

 

Now that I understand this, and seeing that others are still suffering upto 5 years off meds, terrifies me. I'm so alone, I only have one friend who supports me in going shopping etc, and if I lose him I will have no one except my family who I see every few months maybe.

I just dont know what to do. Its like, if I decide to come off Lexapro, I know what to expect. And if I stay on it, I know that I'll feel kinda numbed out but at least not suffering intensely.

 

How does one make this decision? It seems that most people on here came off meds when they didnt know what to expect, but with me, I know what to expect and that makes it harder to decide. I feel like my life is worthless now.

 

I wonder if it's possible that I can stabilize on a very tiny amount of Lexapro and still be able to function, something ridiculous like 0.2ml or something.

Or would there be risk of poop-out?

 

Sorry for all the text and questions guys. I hope someone can help me help myself make this decision. I just dunno what to do at all.

[Phil]

Sorry I missed your post Alto.

 

Yeah, I take the liquid with a syringe. But I was doing it wrong for such a long time, I was making the mixture with 5mg Lexapro and 5ml juice, then removing and throwing away what I didnt need. I should have just removed the amount I did need...no wonder Ive found it hard to keep a stable dosage.

 

Last night it finally clicked to do it this way...so I just removed 1ml of the mixture, and Ive kept the rest in a little cup. Turns out, that 1ml was "more" than what I'm used to, because I feel that drugged up numb feeling characteristic of having more Lexapro. So I must have been below 1mg doing it the other way...I suppose because some particles at the bottom of the mixture are not evenly mixed.

 

I'm not sure if I can keep the juice mixture or not, I dont know how stable it is or how long it will last. I'm a bit reluctant to use it again just incase there's some possible reaction with the sugar in the juice or something?

[Maybe]

No one can tell you for sure, if you can stabilize on a low dose.

 

As a long term goal, you want to come off the med, but as I understand you can live with it currently. So I would taper slowly as long as you can handle it. If you come to a point where you cant, go back up and stay there for a while.

It is not a given that you will suffer for years when you came off.

 

Good luck, Phil! There are many people here that will support you on your way

[Razzle]

I have several friends who went through horrid withdrawals alone. Too sick to even open a can of food - somehow the universe provided and they made it through.

 

Perhaps we are not truly alone - perhaps we have just lost touch with our inner spirit that supports us when our ego and external abilities are compromised.

 

I am coming to the position that what got me on these drugs was my willful ego and separation from my true self and my spirit.

 

As I look back if I had been more conscous I would have made decisions based on true reality and not on my willpower and driving myself....or thinking I could thumb my nose at good boundries and right action.

 

R

[Altostrata]

Phil, the reason we advocate very gradual tapering is to reduce the chance of prolonged withdrawal syndrome.

 

Most of the prolonged withdrawal cases you read are of people who cold-turkeyed, tapered much too quickly, or (like Razzle) had unusual severe adverse reactions to small amounts of the medications initially.

 

You have been tapering very gradually with tolerable withdrawal symptoms. That is a very good sign you will be able to taper off and not suffer prolonged withdrawal syndrome.

 

If you feel more comfortable staying at your current dosage for a while and, when your fear subsides, very carefully reducing dosage by tinier amounts, you can do that. Sliding off gradually is better than bigger drops.

 

(Please put your withdrawal history in your signature so people will understand the context of your postings.)