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Iggy131313

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I tend to think that incessant verbalization of hopelessness would be self-reinforcing.  Most of us have been or are going through this stage, but have refrained from dumping it on others. Distractions like computer games and light reading seem to work the best.  Strong Christian faith helped me as well.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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I hope those of you who are following this topic will respond to Iggy as she needs it, as Iggy does not benefit from the contributions of the moderators and they need to use their time to answer questions elsewhere.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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.I never mean to upset anyone, Im just desperate for answers, for it to be ok...

 

Intense fear and terror can push us beyond our own control and make us behave in uncharacteristic ways.  I believe that you don't intentionally want to upset anyone, that this is just your way of trying to get some support or relief for yourself. 

 

Continually looking for answers may be adding to stress and slowing your recovery.  Its fairly well accepted at this point that there's nothing which speeds up the healing process.  Certain things seem to support it, or make symptoms more tolerable, other things increase symptoms or trigger waves, but you know all this.

 

Now that you no longer have the pressure of the daily responsibilities of trying to be a wife and a mother, with your parents help, this could be the time to focus on accepting your current reality and intense self care along with adopting a more positive attitude toward recovery.  I know how hard it is to accept what has happened to us, many of us have lost so much, no one should have to go through this.  But being able to accept it, is a necessary part of the recovery process.  Being able to accept that a terrible injustice has happened to us, and being able to find  peace with that is something the nervous system needs, to be able to move into the next stage of recovery.  Keeping up a constant fight with reality is like adding fuel to an already raging fire.

 

If there are more solutions to be found, they're not going to be found by people who are still too sick to be able to think clearly, we need to get well first.  You have a severely destabilized nervous system.  But with rest, minimizing stress and stimulation, good food, gentle exercise when possible, lots of water, a calm environment, you will recover. Then, when your symptoms stop, you will be able to rebuild your life. I don't know how long its going to take.  I'm in the same situation, surviving day by day, enduring symptoms, doing my best to maintain a healing environment for myself within the limitations of my personal situation.

 

I recently watched some videos made by someone who had severe benzo withdrawal, which lasted for about a year.  He completely recovered, and his videos document that.  I know that benzo withdrawal is a little different, but the symptoms are often the same, along with the pattern of recovery.  The main message which stood out for me was what he said about our thoughts and beliefs while in recovery, they don't represent reality and are tainted by our malfunctioning nervous system, so we need to ignore all our negative thinking, no matter what it is.  As a fully recovered person, he is able to confirm that ignoring his belief that he would never recover, had been correct, because he did in fact recover. In one video, where his parents were talking, they said that he was incapable of seeing his own progress, but they could see it. 

 

I know, from my own experience that when intense fear has got hold of our mind, it can be difficult to remember anything, but I think it would be helpful to try and remember that our current thoughts are not representing reality and so we should let them go.  Having a positive attitude isn't going to heal us instantly, but allowing negative and frightening thoughts to stay in our minds is adding stress, revving up the NS even more, and causing increased symptoms.

 

I hope that others who are upset by the tone of this thread will do as Alto suggested and avoid it, for the sake of your own healing.  Its difficult to know how to balance the needs of individuals with the care and safety of the whole community.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Iffy, I am obviously in no position to advise you, but I wonder if you would be better off your med. you were clearly doing better with what was probably a slow taper as your old bottle deteriorated, and now worse on what is probably a higher dose. If you were my little sister and I could actually be there to support you, I would help you do a standard 10% taper every four weeks down to 1/200th of the original dose and just be done with it. That would prevent future med errors. If you read Muddles thread, she is doing better, at least now, off her drug, although I'm not sure she can see it. But again, I don't begin to know the totality of your situation. I do wish you healing, though.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Iffy, I am obviously in no position to advise you, but I wonder if you would be better off your med. you were clearly doing better with what was probably a slow taper as your old bottle deteriorated, and now worse on what is probably a higher dose. If you were my little sister and I could actually be there to support you, I would help you do a standard 10% taper every four weeks down to 1/200th of the original dose and just be done with it. That would prevent future med errors. If you read Muddles thread, she is doing better, at least now, off her drug, although I'm not sure she can see it. But again, I don't begin to know the totality of your situation. I do wish you healing, though.

Great post Meimeiquest.   If you're going to be in agony in my opinion, better to be done with the drug since you are at such a low dose Iggy.   But as Meime said, I don't know your situation either so that is all I will say but I also wish you continued healing.

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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, Iggy, I attempted to message you but I wanted to share my experience and ask you a question I was wondering, I remember briefly seeing you post something about AP's helping some with akathesia. I developed the most severe, distressing hysteria dysphoria terror akathesia when I was put on prozac, they added 100mg seroquel and I snapped out of it two days later, mercifully. I was wondering where you had found others who were helped by an ap also. I stupidly stopped my prozac after 7 months of use over three weeks now I am back in that hell, I fight for my life every second and am trying to weight my options, I've tried nothing yet

BTW I only stayed on the seroquel for three weeks with no return of sx upon discontinuation. have no idea if this is relevant but this was my experience, Iggy, I attempted to message you but I wanted to share my experience and ask you a question.

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Iffy, I am obviously in no position to advise you, but I wonder if you would be better off your med. you were clearly doing better with what was probably a slow taper as your old bottle deteriorated, and now worse on what is probably a higher dose. If you were my little sister and I could actually be there to support you, I would help you do a standard 10% taper every four weeks down to 1/200th of the original dose and just be done with it. That would prevent future med errors. If you read Muddles thread, she is doing better, at least now, off her drug, although I'm not sure she can see it. But again, I don't begin to know the totality of your situation. I do wish you healing, though.

Agree 100%

 

It's understandable that you were terrified to taper again due to that horrific experience you had when you previously tried, but God/fate/the universe what have you intervened and slowly tapered you off with you realizing it and you had improvements, no matter how small! When you started the new bottle you immediately went downhill which would suggest that your body wants off. For the life of me I can't understand why you went back to your old dose when you were basically off.

 

The pharmacists are the ones who would know best and they said that the drug had likely lost 90% of its potency! People who have had severe adverse reactions and don't ever stabilize need to get off the drug to heal. You are on such a miniscule amount and you likely haven't been taking any drug for the past several months or longer. Please just stop taking it and begin the healing process. This is not a dangerous suggestion, this is a logical suggestion. You were barely on the drug, possibly not at all on the drug and you saw improvements. You raise the dose/reinstate and you get much worse. What further proof do you need?

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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I do wonder what a pharmacist who has had withdrawal would say. 

I just happen to know where I can find one and will try to contact and see if we can get a comment on this bit of info. 

Dont hold your breath since I have never talked to him just  his wife when he was acting out his medication madness.  

hope to get an answer... we will see. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Administrator

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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, Iggy, I attempted to message you but I wanted to share my experience and ask you a question I was wondering, I remember briefly seeing you post something about AP's helping some with akathesia. I developed the most severe, distressing hysteria dysphoria terror akathesia when I was put on prozac, they added 100mg seroquel and I snapped out of it two days later, mercifully. I was wondering where you had found others who were helped by an ap also. I stupidly stopped my prozac after 7 months of use over three weeks now I am back in that hell, I fight for my life every second and am trying to weight my options, I've tried nothing yet

BTW I only stayed on the seroquel for three weeks with no return of sx upon discontinuation. have no idea if this is relevant but this was my experience, Iggy, I attempted to message you but I wanted to share my experience and ask you a question.

Odd I just mentioned that in your thread... and was having second thoughts about saying it and here you are thinking the same thing.  If I were you any drug I would attempt would be a teeny amount ... as your already a few wks in there is hope it will just ease off soon on its own. I wish some of the tools worked for you ... still wishing you peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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I'm new here but my heart goes out to you..my thoughts and prayers are with you..feel free to pm anytime xxxx although I might not be able yo reply immediately.. Xxx

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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  • 1 month later...

I am thinking everyone is wondering how Iggy is doing (Myself Included) she used to be in daily contact with everyone including me, now she doesn't contact anyone anymore.

 

By the looks of things on her FB page she looks great, like nothing wrong with her at all. I guess thats why she doesnt post anymore.

 

I guess i was right all along. You cant believe everything you read. 

 

Im outa here for good.

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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I think it would be nice for everyone to hear Iggy is in a window....especially after scaring the crap out of everyone here. I know people like to forget when they are feeling better but it's important to share good news. I always like to hear of people getting windows and healing...it's important to share the good as well as the bad.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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I think it would be nice for everyone to hear Iggy is in a window....especially after scaring the crap out of everyone here. I know people like to forget when they are feeling better but it's important to share good news. I always like to hear of people getting windows and healing...it's important to share the good as well as the bad.

Well said, Muddles. I think it may also be a factor of what people tend to post on Facebook (positive, happy) vs. in a private forum such as this.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I completely agree Barb this does not just affect us but kids family for some businesses... Fb is a completely different place public with so many real life issues that could be a problem for those who feel their mental health dx and or issues has caused them to be treated less than respectfully and we know there is stigma... lot of it bad enough that we have to deal with that .... and withdrawal but so do our families and anyone who loves us... 

 

Putting all this on fb would be the last thing I would do as it would hurt those I love and I know it. 

 

I am in withdrawal I am not an idiot completely out of touch with the way the world operates.  Tho for a time i could not control myself as I was too messed up I am hoping now those days are behind me... 

I no longer want to hinder my loved ones with the stigma and fallout all this crap... they don't deserve it and neither do we. 

Some day maybe a conversation will be started about =ity of those dx with a mental health issue... and some human rights will be enacted... I will not say fought for as we already have the laws in some countries but that has not changed the facts. 

 

I watched the gay struggle in a documentary the other day think it is a bit like that they can't see us and so have all these ideas of what mental health issues are... on top of that the drug damage really can make us appear to be or actually unable to conduct our own lives... it is a big mess... a can of worms I am not opening on fb or any place else where the garbage will hurt those I love.  

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Anyone can go to a family function once a year and post a pict where I don't look too bad it means nothing.  It is all hidden as we are ashamed of how we are at all the things we can't do of how we fail our loved ones... or maybe I should say I am ashamed maybe nobody else is but I know some are. Even if it is drug induced try telling that to the world when you can't have a conversation for confusion can't think on your feet ...nope head in the sand and hope to get well is what most do... even those we do try to tell don't believe us not very often we are just a crazy person who is in denial about their mental health and don't want to do as the doctors say.  

It really is a no win situation the way I see and the opponents would not take it sitting down back lash would be hard and fast. That is my take on it all. Just not worth it to sick people who can't manage to live the way they want... if healing ever comes there is so much to make up for ... to set right... it all gets lost.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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I do agree with you btdt...I was feeling a little bit better and putting stuff on Facebook, trying to exist and pretend I'm somewhat normal when infact far from it. I wasn't on the boards so much. Not good to cut off the support that's been given through bad times though as you never know when you will need them again...they need us too.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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I am thinking everyone is wondering how Iggy is doing (Myself Included) she used to be in daily contact with everyone including me, now she doesn't contact anyone anymore.

 

By the looks of things on her FB page she looks great, like nothing wrong with her at all. I guess thats why she doesnt post anymore.

 

I guess i was right all along. You cant believe everything you read.

 

Im outa here for good.

Why the need to infer Iggy is being dishonest? Maybe she is better, Thank God. This should bring great hope for all of us given how frightening her experiences have been. I find it sad, that the possibility of her recovery based on her FB page, (which I would contend is probably not an accurate depiction of anyone's life at any given moment) is a cause for bitterness.

 

We are looking for hope, anywhere we can find it, and if Iggy can have a window than that means, you too, Olivia are on the road to recovery.

 

I do hope Iggy has the desire to share her improvements with the community. We all need to hear of better days. It is a gift we give to each other when we post them.

 

Anger, bitterness... These things make us sick, they keep us sick. Let it go, let it be....

 

Olivia, I wish you health and healing in body, mind, and spirit. Be well. ????

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Bitter?? I am very far from Bitter because Iggy is doing better.

 

I am very happy for Iggy if she is really doing better and wish her the best. Ive known Iggy since 2012 and i really hope she improves. 

 

Why would anyone think i would be bitter because of other's improvements? I am not that sick!!

 

Obviously everyone is reading my post completely wrong!!!!!

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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Well sorry Olivia, it just sounded bitter. Maybe it was misunderstood.

Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing.

tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave.

In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication.

i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid.

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  • 1 month later...

Iggy drinking weekly might have something to do with why she's the "worst case" and will take 10 years to heal. No one listen to her hogwash . I sure in the hell won't.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2895-antoinette-lexapro-withdrawal/page__p__31234__hl__antoinette__fromsearch__1#entry31234

 

Lexapro for 10 years

Cold turkeyed in April 2012

Reinstated and had severe adverse reaction in may of 2012

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I'm not suggesting this is the case with Iggy, but i suspect that many people go back on drug/s, improve, and don't feel comfortable announcing it here where the emphasis is tapering and getting off drugs. Many disappear to follow-up. I'd be very interested to know how many do that successfully.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I know Iggy some.  She was on a FB site that I was on.  I did pm with her in Nov and she was still very ill.  I thot from her posted FB pictures that she was doing much better too.  I contacted her because my akathisia had come back and I was so hoping to hear that she had improved.  She says that she is an excellent actress.  I believe her.  My heart breaks for her.  She is truly very brave, going through this for so long.  I admire her push and her determination to get better no matter how much research she has to do to try and find a source of relief.  I don't always agree with how she goes about trying to mitigate the pain, but having recently had bouts of PGAD myself, and found myself even more suicidal than ever, I support her valiant fight to survive.  I pray that she will be released from this agony, as we all need to be.

1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally.  DISCONTINUED

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin  , Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

12/21/21  Doxepin 20 mg ?  Reducing using water micro taper--Pulling 24ml from 75ml

12/2121   Zoloft .060 grams by weight--HOLDING (info from post added by CC: On 12/21/21 my dosage was .060grams by weight or 20mg. )

26 Apr 2022 - Zoloft at -0-

 

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I just hope she gets better and comes back and posts a recovery story when it happens.

 

I know what it feels like to feel desperate and like I'm the worst case ever.

 

Iggy, wherever you are... My prayers are with you.

 

Get better, hang on, hold on, just hold on.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Well if she is still in agony I don't see how getting drunk is going to help matters. I have had to stay away from alcohol for over 4 years (had ONE sip of champagne this New Years Eve) and I was never anywhere near as bad as she claimed to be. I've seen her FB and if she's just acting then she's a REALLY good actress. Something smells fishy to me, sorry.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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I'm confused. :(

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

Link to comment

Well if she is still in agony I don't see how getting drunk is going to help matters. I have had to stay away from alcohol for over 4 years (had ONE sip of champagne this New Years Eve) and I was never anywhere near as bad as she claimed to be. I've seen her FB and if she's just acting then she's a REALLY good actress. Something smells fishy to me, sorry.

I couldn't look well if I spent a day at the spa. And I am very very ill, and there is no way I could fake feeling good. I wouldn't let anyone take a picture if they paid me. The camera flash would prob send me into a wave. :(

 

I don't know what the point of "faking it" would be...?

 

I dunno, I'm too sick to think about it.

 

 

I wish her well nonetheless.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

Link to comment

She's working full time. No acting there.

 

Well if she is still in agony I don't see how getting drunk is going to help matters. I have had to stay away from alcohol for over 4 years (had ONE sip of champagne this New Years Eve) and I was never anywhere near as bad as she claimed to be. I've seen her FB and if she's just acting then she's a REALLY good actress. Something smells fishy to me, sorry.

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

Link to comment

She's working full time. No acting there.

 

Well if she is still in agony I don't see how getting drunk is going to help matters. I have had to stay away from alcohol for over 4 years (had ONE sip of champagne this New Years Eve) and I was never anywhere near as bad as she claimed to be. I've seen her FB and if she's just acting then she's a REALLY good actress. Something smells fishy to me, sorry.

 

Wow.  She's working?  Do you know her?  Did she post that on her FB page?   She blocked me because she said that I scared her by saying that my akathisia got worse again.  I understand that.  I have blocked tons of people on FB support sites because I am so so ill and their posts scare me for one reason or another.  If she's working full time, then she absolutely is not as disabled as she once was. 

1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1992- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zoloft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Micro Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally.  DISCONTINUED

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 1.30mg

5/4/17  Doxepin 45mg  Zoloft 24mg  Clonidine 1.20mg   Micro taper of Doxepin  , Clonidine

01/13/19  Doxepin 45mg   Zoloft 21mg   Will start Micro taper of Doxepin 2/19

12/21/21  Doxepin 20 mg ?  Reducing using water micro taper--Pulling 24ml from 75ml

12/2121   Zoloft .060 grams by weight--HOLDING (info from post added by CC: On 12/21/21 my dosage was .060grams by weight or 20mg. )

26 Apr 2022 - Zoloft at -0-

 

Link to comment

 

She's working full time. No acting there.

 

Well if she is still in agony I don't see how getting drunk is going to help matters. I have had to stay away from alcohol for over 4 years (had ONE sip of champagne this New Years Eve) and I was never anywhere near as bad as she claimed to be. I've seen her FB and if she's just acting then she's a REALLY good actress. Something smells fishy to me, sorry.

[/quote

 

This is all just weird. Why act sick or try to put on that you are when u are not? I don't get it. Is it just me who doesn't understand the point?

 

If she is well. Good for her. I would like her to post her recovery story, especially for the sake of people like CymbaltaWD, Skyler, Alto...etc who talked her down of the ledge over and over. I think it is owed them to know if she is better.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

As Iggy is no longer updating her thread it would be best to leave it be. Whatever she is doing we all

hope that she is well, but if she isn't, then we hope she is coping.  She is not here to defend herself 

so maybe give the Iggy bashing a break guys?  

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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As Iggy is no longer updating her thread it would be best to leave it be. Whatever she is doing we all

hope that she is well, but if she isn't, then we hope she is coping. She is not here to defend herself

so maybe give the Iggy bashing a break guys?

Agreed. I hope she is well.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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  • Member

The less posting here now the better. Every time someone does, it bumps the topic up the front page.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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I doubt this is bashing Iggy at all. She has been drinking and is completely normal while everyone thinks she is very ill and suffering. I was worried about her like everyone else on here,  I stood up for her and supported her on many occasions, just to find out she has been fine for a long time. Now that hurts. Then i get shunned on here for saying i was lied to.

 

I am now bowing out of this discussion and all discussions on SA

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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what the???? well this is a turn up for the books...allow me to address a few of these shocking speculations

 

1) drinking weekly? errrr, no, I drink non alcoholic wine and beer, I occasionally have half a shandy...rarely....

 

2) im not working full time, Im doing 2 hours weekly voluntary work at a local school as and when

 

3) Im in a window but still suffer

 

4) no one protrays their real life on facebook, Ive also found that it helps to ignore the sy,toms and try to engage in real life when at all possible, this has been going on for 3 years remember

 

thankyou to all who havew widhed me well......im truelty shocked and disapointed at some here...(not you nomeaning) who have attacked me through what they have isuinterpreted on facebook, which as someone quite rightly pointed out is not a reliable source of information

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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and another point ... what the hell is with all this facebook stalking? half of ther people i dont know on here are saying they have looked at my facebook page????????

 

the poeple who do know me, like no meaning and a couple of others i recognise here know full well what i have been through, and i think people are forgetting the waves and windows pattern, so yes its entirely possible that i can be in the worst agony possible one day/week/mnth and trying to rebuild some kind of life the next...

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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