Iggy131313 validation is imminent

[btdt]

In hypersensitivity pneumonitis, as in DI-ILD, the first stage consists of an inflammatory process that evolves, over years, inevitably toward pulmonary fibrosis (1, 2, 9). Presumably, in some cases the presence of a fibrotic process reflects presentation at a later stage occurring after a previously overlooked allergic inflammation. Interestingly, Hubbard and coworkers found an association between cryptogenic fibrosing alveolitis and tricyclic antidepressant exposure (10). Therefore, for clinicians an early diagnosis of such pneumonitis is important because early drug cessation will reduce significantly the risk of irreversible fibrosis

 

 

Read More: http://www.atsjournals.org/doi/full/10.1164/rccm.200207-739CR#.VSk1TfnF9Ig

" previously overlooked allergic inflammation"

 

The point is if this allergic inflammation occurs in the brain or other organs .. I have no proof it does...but if.. could explain a lot

[Iggy131313]

to be honest btdt I dont think it explains anything.....but im pretty convinced that my theory is correct and most oter things we notice are just things that can create waves due simply to the extreme (in my case) damage to the serotonin system....im sure there is an element of some inflamation, but I think its got nothing to do with the casue of our damage, it may contribute to the waves and windows simply from the presence of serotonin in mastcells effecting us so much....and for people who have histamie issues after use, from using an AD that directly effects the Histamine receptors....but, relevant to the casue? no, i dont think so at all.

 

3pm I did 2 things at the same time, i smoked one puff of weed, and i started cleaning and gardening, i now feel terrible, and i have no idea what caused it.....i know that moving around can rev me up badly, i wish i had done an hours work and then tried a smoke to see...but my instinct right now is saying, weed not good today, i was like that 2 weeks ago when i first had my reaction, weed made me worse....a few days later weed helped again....perhaos whatever happened yesterday has made me unable to tolerate the weed as well.....weird as it usually helps so much..anyway this should wear off soon.....god what a life..forever chasing relief....

 

and dont tell me to stop chasing relief, to accept the symptoms, one cannot accept, tolerate or live with the severity of my symptoms, i will end up dead.....

[Iggy131313]

oh...and ive done it for 3 years with zero natural improvement

[Iggy131313]

idiot, right well yes the weed is not helping at all...im sat quietly and still worse.....so no more weed for me for a few days, this is how it was before during a more severe time, couldnt tolerate it, made me worse.....if im doing well it helps, in a bad wave it hurts, not sure why but it seems thats the case anyway

[Iggy131313]

I tell you what I need, I NEED someone with the same drive as me to look into whats gong on, to brain storm and work with...someone who understands everything im talking about and wants to move the research on further....someone who has more biochemistry knowledge so we can look at cAMP...and receptor uncoupling.....its hard trying to work it all out by yourslef

[btdt]

I did a search on cAMP uncoupling here and found only this 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6355-yan-2012-mitochondrial-dysfunction-induced-by-sertraline-zoloft/

it may be useless I don't know I am not that smart

[btdt]

google you pick

https://www.google.ca/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=ssri+-++%22cAMP+%22and+receptor+uncoupling

wish I could help but I am mostly useless

[Tilly]

I tell you what I need, I NEED someone with the same drive as me to look into whats gong on, to brain storm and work with...someone who understands everything im talking about and wants to move the research on further....someone who has more biochemistry knowledge so we can look at cAMP...and receptor uncoupling.....its hard trying to work it all out by yourslef

Hi Iggy,

 

Maybe what you need is to reframe your research and redirect your energies into healing as opposed to investing time in picking through further neurological processes?

 

Many people spend many years asking why to a whole range of questions. I have done this myself. It is often futile and sometimes a form of avoidance of the issues that need to be addressed after / if the whys and wherefores are ever discovered.

 

What you do know can serve you greatly right now. You have a wealth of information at hand already. Use what you already know to facilitate the healing of yourself.

 

If endorphins help, do exercise, engage in play with your son, walk in nature, get a massage, have sex, play an instrument... and minimise the toxic effects of alcohol and psychoactive skunk on your body. It was psychoactive medication that got you here in the first place. From what I know of 'weed' the fairly innocuous weed and resin of the 80's when I grew up no longer exists here in the UK. It has been overtaken by the hybrid monster known as skunk, grown with more chemicals and processes than I have the energy to go into with potent psychotic outcomes for many from my experience of working with and hearing self reports from skunk / drug users.

 

I am not anti drinking / drugs. I am pro healing and pro health. I believe that compounds found in true / pure bred cannabidiols , with less than 1% THC (the compound that causes the high) has many therapeutic uses and value for a wide range of ailments from pain & anxiety relief, epilepsy treatment in infants and retardation of cancer cells to name but a few.

 

I do enjoy a glass of red wine. I am fortunate to be able to do so as I have so many intolerances that restrict my diet including intolerances to caffeine, most dairy, many grains / simple carbs and all processed foods. But I enjoy in moderation with a healthy meal as a treat, not a staple and definitely not while in crisis. Self regulation is key. To work through times of crisis without self medicating is the foundation on which a solid recovery is based.

 

As for Nando's, I ate there once pre withdrawal and their chicken tasted like no chicken I ever ate! It is full of trans fats, fake spices and flavourings and is of very poor quality and nutritional value. They transform one of the leanest most nutritious sources of protein into nutritionally deficient, poisonous muck (my opinion only). Your food intake seems to comprise of a high intake of takeaway foods (you also mention Domino's pizza). Home cooked steamed or grilled chicken with fresh herbs and even home cooked pizzas are much more nutritionally beneficial and more cost effective than the highly processed, low nutritional foods that you are currently consuming. Food is fuel for our bodies and brains. The quality of what we put in to our bodies has such a huge impact on our functioning. You cannot continue to overlook this basic need and expect healing to occur. It won't happen. The more poisons we ingest, the more our bodies overcompensate to eliminate toxins. This is not an ideal environment for healing to begin, let alone be successful.

 

Rather than continue to delve into neurological processes, maybe it would be more beneficial to you to focus on the nutritional deficiencies of your diet and substance abuse and deposited toxins which will retard your healing and erode your well being as part of a biological mechanism of survival. Your body is constantly in survival mode as a consequence of the toxins that you deposit in it.

 

I kind of have the feeling that my words will fall on deaf ears. I have seen you in this same self sabotaging cycle for 3 years. I really have no clue as to what will break it. I am offering what words I have to help.

 

If you ignore everything else, I would advise that you self refer for family therapy for you and your son. Your son is at such a crucial stage of development. You need to build a strong and consistent bond with him at this stage for his sake. Remedial action is very rarely successful from my professional experience and the damage is lifelong. I offer these words with compassion for you and your son.

 

Forget the neuro research, Caroline. Focus on your healing and your relationship with and the health of your son.

 

I wish you healing.

 

Tilly

[Tilly]

I did a search on cAMP uncoupling here and found only this 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6355-yan-2012-mitochondrial-dysfunction-induced-by-sertraline-zoloft/

it may be useless I don't know I am not that smart

Completely disagree, btdt, you are very smart, helpful and compassionate. 

[Tilly]

google you pick

https://www.google.ca/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=ssri+-++%22cAMP+%22and+receptor+uncoupling

wish I could help but I am mostly useless

Completely disagree, btdt, you are very smart, helpful and compassionate. We have discussed this recently 

 

Hugs,

 

Tilly x

[btdt]

I can find the information Tilly but when I try to read it I get lost... I have limits but thank you.

[Tilly]

I can find the information Tilly but when I try to read it I get lost... I have limits but thank you.

Hot topics. re read  x

[Songbird]

I kind of have the feeling that my words will fall on deaf ears. I have seen you in this same self sabotaging cycle for 3 years.

I'm afraid you may well be right, Tilly.  In all the years I was on the other forum, I never saw anyone recover using alcohol and cannabis.  I think researching neurotransmitters is a distraction and kind of a red herring.  I believe what happens in withdrawal is far more complex that anyone currently understands, and in trying to understand we are stumbling around in the semi-dark as much as the pharmaceutical companies with half-baked theories.  I don't see what possible use it could be in practical terms.  The brain already knows how to heal itself if we will only give it the time and space to get on with it.

[Tilly]

 

I kind of have the feeling that my words will fall on deaf ears. I have seen you in this same self sabotaging cycle for 3 years.

I'm afraid you may well be right, Tilly.  In all the years I was on the other forum, I never saw anyone recover using alcohol and cannabis.  I think researching neurotransmitters is a distraction and kind of a red herring.  I believe what happens in withdrawal is far more complex that anyone currently understands, and in trying to understand we are stumbling around in the semi-dark as much as the pharmaceutical companies with half-baked theories.  I don't see what possible use it could be in practical terms.  The brain already knows how to heal itself if we will only give it the time and space to get on with it.

 

Hi Songbird,

 

I am in my nature an eternal optimist, but also a realist. I try for so long to offer advice, then leave people to their own devices. Advice is there to inform. The choice to take it lies with the recipient, not the giver.

 

I agree. Alcohol & cannabis is such a potent and unhelpful mix to any kind of health or well being, as self reported by users to me when I was aiming to rehabilitate them. They did not have SSRI withdrawal to add to the mix.

 

I believe that Iggy is in a prolonged period of denial / avoidance that is serving to compound and increase her withdrawal and continued 'victim status'. This is her choice if she continues on this path knowingly. She is an adult and able to consent to her own choices.

 

Her child is not able to do so. I hope that Iggy forms a strong ongoing bond with her child if she is able to do nothing else right now. I know that I stand to elicit criticism as a consequence of my views. However, I have worked with young children for many years into their teens and twenties who experience lifelong problems arising from dysfunctional parenting which creates another generation of SSRI users.

 

I hope that Iggy can make better choices in the future for the sake of her son. It is her son who is suffering right now. There are many family services available in the UK free of charge who can facilitate healing of family relationships. Access them Caroline. Your son's development and mental health is at risk. I am happy to advise you on options. This needs to be your priority right now. Drop the procrastinating research and get real about your own healing and family situation before it is too late to rectify.

[crimsonking]

Hey Iggy,

 

I really admire people who are trying to help us in anyway, I still believe that we can improve not only with time but "with the little help from my friends". If you don't know it already you should check this site out:

http://area-1255.forumotion.info/

 

Guys are really into the subject and chemistry, looks like they now what the'yre talking about. My language skills are not not good enough and my retarted brain can't learn nothing, but maybe you will be more succesful. Good luck!

 

PS I tried to PM you, but you can't recieve any messages?

[Muddles]

Tilly

 

What about us poor mothers who are in this state because of SSRI's? It grieves me to think my Children are at risk of mental health problems because of what these drugs have done to me. They see me and have seen me in a way they would never have done if it wasn't for 'antidepressants'. I was a very good, loving, caring mother before all of this.

 

What do I do to protect my children? Leave them for the sake of their health?

 

Please PM me if you can help because they are my priority and always have been and I'm struggling to know what to do as I am mentally and physically disabled.

 

Iggy has been in the same boat and it destroyes me when I here of mothers who have live through such trauma when we have children. We never asked for this.....its a crime. It ruins families - it doesn't just destroy the one going through it. If I could find anything that meant I was able to function and look after my children - I would. I would take it this minute.

[Tilly]

Tilly

 

What about us poor mothers who are in this state because of SSRI's? It grieves me to think my Children are at risk of mental health problems because of what these drugs have done to me. They see me and have seen me in a way they would never have done if it wasn't for 'antidepressants'. I was a very good, loving, caring mother before all of this.

 

What do I do to protect my children? Leave them for the sake of their health?

 

Please PM me if you can help because they are my priority and always have been and I'm struggling to know what to do as I am mentally and physically disabled.

 

Iggy has been in the same boat and it destroyes me when I here of mothers who have live through such trauma when we have children. We never asked for this.....its a crime. It ruins families - it doesn't just destroy the one going through it. If I could find anything that meant I was able to function and look after my children - I would. I would take it this minute.

Muddles,

 

I have worked with many Mums in distress due to SSRI / antipsychotic / benzodiazepine use. Their children have been supported to understand (on an age appropriate level) the nature and course of their Mum's distress and bonding / quality time enables a secure attachment for the child, much more so than many 'normal' families (I personally don't believe that there is such a thing).

 

Keeping a child within the family is always the best option for both children and Mums / families (unless there is a risk of harm, which is only in a small percentage of families)

 

Depending on the age of your child, Surestart is a good starting point in the UK. I have worked alongside this agency and they offer support to families in need or crisis that is very gentle, like a friend popping in to help and offer support. A bit like when we had extended families to help. I worked along side them with under 5's in my last paid role.

 

If your child is older, there are many support groups which can be accessed through your local carers centre.

 

Via social services, you can access a family support worker and family therapy.

 

You can also receive an assessment via social services and be allocated an allowance to buy in your own care if you would prefer this to allocated care services. Google 'direct payments'.

 

If you are on benefits, there are charities that provide subsidised supported short breaks for families, although these are decreasing due to funding cuts.

 

Children are very resilient, but need to understand what is happening within their family and form bonds with their parent(s) for the sake of their own development and health.

 

Having a health issue does not automatically mean that your child has to suffer.

 

Do you have any support input currently, Muddles?

 

Tillyx

[Iggy131313]

Im completely and totally offended Tilly, how DARE you suggest i book in for therapy, I am a GREAT mother, NO WOMAN IN THIS WORLD tried as hard as I do, the things I have pushed myself to do with horrific suffering, my focus PURELY on my son...he is at NO risk, he is NO danger..he CERTAINLY has no risk of mental health now or in the future, he has a mummy who he KNOWS loves and adores him.....

 

for 3 years I have lived for nothing in this world but him, the ONLY reason im alive and the reason IM DOING ALL THIS.....I would be long dead otherwise.......I often wish I had never had him so I could die...I hope to god you never have to know what it feels like in my shoes....your comments are HEARTLESS and CRUEL.....

 

everyday I cook and eat fresh food, occasionally I have something els,e the dominos pizza was 2 YEARS AGO......

 

you presume to know me becasue you have read my threads, well tell me this, how often to I speak about my son??? do you have children? I think not as any mother knows that to suggest to even SUGGEST that another mother is harming or neglecting her child...DONT YOU GET IT????? Fir the past 6 months I have been able to do things with my baby boy that I havent done for YEARS......and even through my worst times, HE has been my focus, no matter how severe., even if its just for 5 miutes, I hold him and tell him how he is my LIFE

 

I hope Iggy FORMS AN ONGOING BOND WITH HER SON????

 

Alto, I want to report this woman, she is setting me back, Im highly distressed..what the hell have I done to you? that you would be so cruel?? i hope you got alot out of your sanctimonious bull, you know NOTHING...Ive been doing this for 3 years??

 

Ive tried weed twice through this, and never had a drink until recently, and yet im accused of doing this for 3 years???? good luck getting off the lexapro...thanks for saying im a bad mother with no bond with my son, you are a bully and a bad person...and yet, I pray you escape the torment I have to live in..

 

Tilly, I am blocking you, I will not see any further posts from you.....everyone who judges me for trying to escape after 3 DAMN YEARS OF HELL...is someone who hasnt suffered to this degree...I can understand people warning me, I know.....but to suggest TO EVEN SUGGEST that i would do ANYTHING wrong to my reason for living....that I NEED TO DEVELOP A BOND??? I swear to god you are a hurtful, horrible vile person.

 

Muddles, dont listen to that BS.....my baby boy has lived with my illness for 3 years, and yet breaking up with my husband had a much worse effect on hi....as lkong as our children know and understand that they are loved so deeply, that to us they are and always will be the centre of our lives, they will be fine...and we teach them the dangers of these drugs.....I think by the time they are adults the dangers will be more widley known

 

Muddles understands, I know she does.....if she knew that a joint and a glass of wine would give her a week of functioning normally, she would do it....its called DESPERATION....I LONG TO BE WITH MY SON, I LIVE TO BE HIS MOTHER, HE IS ALL I HAVE LEFT, HE IS THE ONE PERSON WHO HAS NEVER GIVEN UP ON ME, OR BEEN CROSS, OR DOUBTED ME.......Your words have devestated me, and nice to kick someone when they are down

 

6 months I have maintained a life, been that mother, held him close as we lay and watch a movie....I COULD NOT DO THAT......taken him out I COULD NOT DO THAT...sit and have a conversation I COULD NOT DO THAT i can make promises, ''yes we can watch that movie tomorrow and have popcorn'' I COULD NOT DO THAT...i can read to him at night I COULD NOT DO THAT and this is just physical things, and NOTHING could describe the feeling of having him back....

 

WHEN YOU HAVE LIBED FOR 2 and a half years of constant suffering, to an inhuman, unendurable level, beating, hitting and scratching myself, self harming, screaming, begging to die, BEGGING AND BEGGING TO DIE, living with 24/7 pure SUFFERING.....when YOU watch life going on around you but cant even care until later when the sympotms pass and in the middle of the night when the aggitation and akathisia allow you to cry, to cry for everything you have lost, everything you are missing, your future, your present......when YOU have to hear your child cry for someone else becasue he knows you cant come.......when YOU have done this of 2 YEARS WITH NO IMRPOVEMENT...then, and only then can you judge my actions

 

every single thing that i do, i do for him, i am a wonderful mother and NO ONE in my position could possibly do more..only a mother would understand how brutal and cruel your words are....FORM A BOND???? I wish you could be me for ONE DAY...FOR ONE HOUR.....

[Iggy131313]

and my child does NOT SUFFER...sanctimonious bully

[Iggy131313]

I have reported you for bullying and cruelty

[Iggy131313]

oh and as for you never saw anyone recover while using alcohol and cannabis, how about loss;eader?? he did and he is kind enough to email with me, get your facts stright

and perhaps i might offer some equally kind advice......i think it might be a good idea, to seek help on your issues, you obviously dont have children and have a void in your life, and your high and mightly attitude looking down on others could also be addressed......wow well arent you a great person for being involved in the social services ....wow your so great and so righ, is that what you need to hear? your self satisfied and validation and praise seeking behaviour might be assocoiated with your long drug use,

 

you so obviously do not have children....no one would say those things.....wow...just wow

[Iggy131313]

please a mod, PLEASE remove these distressing sanctimonious comments from my thread.....from this woman who seems to know it all.....they have given me a setback

[Tilly]

I posted with good intentions, Iggy. I responded to your self reported situation and distress.

 

Sometimes when we ask for advice, we don't like what we hear.

 

There was nothing cruel in what I said and there was no malice that motivated it. I even offered you support.

 

You were smoking 'weed' last time you had your son in your sole charge this weekend while your boyfriend was out shopping. This is a very real concern in terms of the safety of your child, like it or not. 

 

You seem to struggle with keeping your son for the full duration of his stays, often having your ex husband on standby to pick him up early, which suggests an issue of some sort with bonding or your capacity to care. This is why I suggested support. There is no judgement or stigma attached to this suggestion. My intention was to help you and your son. If my help is not needed, I am happy to accept that.

 

We all know that your journey has been 3 years, Iggy. Mine has been almost 15 with numerous drugs and episodes of tolerance and protracted withdrawal, but this is not a competition. Comparing helps no one.

 

I was concerned. Your responses speak for themselves. I will not offer any more advice. You have to want to be helped to accept help. You are not ready to and that is fine.

[Martina23]

Tilly,

 

I am sorry but I also dont like that you make her worse by pointing out that she is not behaving safe enough with respect to her child. I can imagine she has enough problems to hear this. I do not think she is here "the bad one" but the doctors which gave her "medicine" which destroyed all her life. They are the unresponsible ones. She is only trying to survive through the situation where she was put.

[Iggy131313]

MODS!!!!

 

Having one puff of a joint while my son is in my care is NOT a risk......should a parent not have one MOUTHFUL of wine??? santimonious

 

in fact, as it eases the symptoms and allows me to be a mother again, its far better than not

 

my husabnd is on standby to ensure that my son does not have to see me in great distress since this setback...for the past 6 onths i have cared for my son alone, in fact having him 5 nights per week.....but you dont know that....I am the primary carer for my son and I do a better job than most....

 

I am a loving, attentive, caring and kind mother, who loves her child, how the hell do you presume to know?? that suggests a bonding issue? wow im so lucky to have such an expert diagnose me through the internet...the school, my friends and my family all think im an amazing mother, and I AM....

 

capicity to care? YES EXACTLY since this setback with the ibuprophen i am having times again I am unable to care for him, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THAT FEELS??? OBVIOUSLY NOT....having things in place for these events are exactly what HE NEEDS

 

I have a massive support network of family and friends who understand and who will care for him when its needed.....that is being a caring mother, that is making sure he is protected from my illness and that I have something in place to make sure i am not alone trying to cope....you have no idea, and no i do not wish to have your ''support''

[Iggy131313]

and thankyou to muddles and martina, who are mothers and who understand

[LoveandLight]

I'm not a mother but I think that if they know that they are loved that is a lot more than a lot of children might have. Worrying about whether your illness is going to affect him will surely only add to the terror and fear..a vicious circle...so I do think if he knows he is loved it is a lot already.

 

My heart goes out so much to all you mothers out there going through this.

[Muddles]

As mothers it's the worst thing in the world. For me - the guilt of not being able to be the mother I was is worse than the the hell of Symptoms I suffer 24/7. I'm not down playing those who are on their own - their suffering is just as extreme but believe me when I say that when you have been totally screwed over by something that is not our fault and effects our mothering skills - it's the worst thing that could EVER happen!

 

I would except help with open arms....but until Heath care professional or anyone else will admit and Validate that my disability has come from a prescribed medication I cannot risk going there. My children know I have a brain injury- I speak openly of how what has happened - in a way they would understand.

 

I volunteered for sure start years ago. I am aware of how amazing the input of there work is. What I don't need though is what I have had for the past God knows how many months of this hell - every health care professional looking at me like I am a piece of **** on their shoe, good for nothing mess and trying to slap mental health diagnoses' on me.

 

What we need is for this condition to be recognised - I agree therapy for families would be amazing....someone to come in who knows about drug induced damaged...yes....it would be amazing. There isn't anything out there like that though. its discusting!

 

I know of one poor mother in withdrawal who tried to get help - she wasn't believed - social services involved and nearly lost her daughter!! This made the whole situation so much worse!

 

If Iggy finds relief from a joint and a glass of wine - so be it. The stuff we were given on prescription in my eyes is much more dangerous than these poisons. I'm not advocating weed but I can promise you I would be doing the same if I could get any relief - or if I could function enough to take care of my children.

 

Also - sending her son off to her ex is in my eyes no way an issue of not being able to bond. I have up-most respect for anyone who feels they have to let their children go somewhere while they get themselves right. Last year my children were going to friends and family as much as they could.....I couldn't bare for them to see me so sick. This was for their benefit...not mine and it broke me so much. They never left my side before all of this.

 

Until antidepressant induced brain injury is recognised - families will never get the help and support we need.

[Martina23]

I like what Muddles wrote, I could not write it better.

[Iggy131313]

thankyou girls, I know you get it.....every thing I do is only about my child, I will say it again, my favorite quote and it is exactly hbow I feel about my baby bboy

 

''for if he is not the word of God, then God never spoke''

 

the poeple who know me are astounded at how I try to function for him, 2 years ago, in the June, I stood in one of the worst states I had ever been in at 8am watching my sons school assembly..it set me back for another 2 weeks, I did that SIMPLY so he would see my face...it was a hell I canno describe....but of course, I have no bond with him

 

when this happened to me I researched people with cancer and how to address it with children....I speak to him ALL THE TIME...He KNOWS mummy has a poorly brain, he KNOWS that if I cry sometimes, its to help me feel better, he KNOWS it is not his fault and that I love him more than anything, and he is an empath and tries to help me..he often says to people ''mummy looks after me, and I look after mummy'' He is feircly loyal to me in all ways, and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he is adored and loved...the above poster is right.....I speak to a woman who had an abusive and horrific childhood, from healthy parents....when I have cried so many times down the phone to her about the loss of being a mother she has told me time and time again, that the way I love my son and try so hard for him, is far more than she ever got

 

being Freddies mother is the only joy in my life...and imagine the hurt when i cannot be that...as muddles says, its possibly the worst part....and as I said before I cannot even process it until the symptoms pyull back enough for me to feel that loss.....so deep......sp profound

 

He was 3 years old when this happened, he was wearing nappies at night, he was a baby...he is now 6...ive missed so much already...

 

anyway, as always intense stress has helped my symptoms, i guess its the dopamine...so thanks for that, I am sat playing with the child I have no bond with and am a huge risk to from having one puff on a joint while he is in the house......ooooh terrible mother...please

 

so Im going to spend some time with him until the dopamine spike wears off and I can where I am with the symptoms

 

thankyou again to those who reached out to me, being blamed and critisised as a mother after all I have been through and am going through....people have no idea, they wouldnt last a minute in my shoes........its a miracle that I am not more disturbed and have mental health issues as a result, its weird, when im well, i dont even feel the trauma, Muddles, Martina and others, together we will get through this

 

so I self medicate and its given me some kind of life...only those of us who have plumbed the depths of the suffering possible from this, to experiencerelief, its like more than we could ever hope for, wish for

[NoMeaning25]

Im happy you can find relief. But i am concerned about your wreckless behaviour. I see no fault in Tilys posts and cant see how it can affect you like it did?

 

I hope the mods wont remove her posts because there is truly nothing wrong with it. She offered support? And is concerned by your behaviour.

 

I shouldnt be on here but i feel the need to stand up for someone when its due.

 

A mouth full of wine and a puff of weed? Not according to your previous posts.

 

Ill refrain from posting here again.

 

Good luck to you.

[Martina23]

NoMeaning, she has never said that she has a mouth full of wine and a puff of weed. And if you do not like her posts, you do not have to look into her thread. I am sorry, but I think every mother know how difficult it is to grow her children up and that there is no ideal mother either. I think that Iggy loves her child very much and was damaged by big pharma. This is what is the content of her thread.

[Iggy131313]

Bella, you are young and not a mother....my reaction is about how that woman dares tell me i need to form a bond with my child and seek help as he is suffering....no, sometimes i have 2 glasses of wine red...i had nothing yesterday...i had 2 puffs on a joint yesterday

 

im having nothing today, im not a total fool, but i do chase relief.....you can see nothing wrong becaue you are angry with me for going away while i was doing better...YOU know the reality of this condition, and i have NO desire to wait another 10 years and my child is an adult and have played no part in his childhood before i might be able to function

 

I am an open book, I have openly said what I am doing, i dont lie about it or cover things up

 

Tillys comments about my weed and wine use and the risk it poses to my health..I have no complaint about, i know people are going to say those things..however her judgement on me as a mother is what is completely unacceptable, but your only a baby yourself and suffering and scared, I know that...and I wouldnt have understood perhaps why that would be the worst thing anyone could possibly say....which is why its obvious that tilly has no children...no one who had children would be so heartless or understand what they are saying is the worst thing one could say...this is why the omwan on here with hildren have chimed in, they probably believe i am being reckless self medicating, although in some cases they would do it themselves if they knew it would bring relief....

 

but they can see that what is being said about me as a mother is cruel

[Iggy131313]

and songbird...i have reponded to the fact that no one recovers when using alcohol and weed...lossleader did, as for the rest, oh we all know the brain can heal itself?? yesh like TD...this is a tardive issue, TD has a 5% recovery rate..I belive that I have severe and peremenant damage to my serotonin system..will it improve over time? yes I belive so and the one person I trust the most has been in w/d for 12 years and has improved alot, but still has very little quality of life and still suffers, THAT is me, he is one of the few people who has been as severe and as kindled as me...most others will not be as bad, or as kindled....

 

if I saw everyone reciover in 3 or 4 years that would be one thing, but that is not always the case, YES EVERYONE IMPROVES ... no doubt and I still think that people like the guy i speak to alot will continue to improve, but come on 10 YEARS??????

 

3 years is a long time

[Iggy131313]

and lets also remember that my recent setback wa due to IBUPROPHEN....not anything else i have been doing which has only brought me relief in moderation

[Iggy131313]

and Tilly, you said ''sometimes when we ask for advice we dont like what we hear''

 

i have never asked for advice on this, I am just reporting things as I see them, talking about my symptoms and trying to get through this setback..and I CERTAINLY didnt ask for advice about my son, I can handle that myself...if im incapable of caring for him due to SEVERE AKATHISIA TERROR AND A MILLION OTHER NEUROLOGICAL NOT MENTAL issues, then I have plans in place

 

oh how irresponsible of me