success ☼ Alex Withdrawal or Relapse?

[alex]

I have a question for you: common life stressors have an influence in the "waves"?

 

In other words, if things go smoother, there is a chance that a "window" can last or the wave be less awful?

 

Because this can´t be only chemical...I mean, what about inner strength, spiritual strenght...(sorry for my english)

[alex]

Hello Alto and everybody; let me tell you that despite a tough finantial moment, I´m doing much better.

 

It´s 4 months and 1 week since my last dose of Effexor, and I am in much more control emotionally and chemically (sorry )

 

My situation with money is difficult, I started a small fast-food bussines, and you know how it is when you start, but evn though this situation stresses me out, I don´t get that awful feeling of getting to the edge, better apetite, no more diharrea, anxiety is low, neuro-emotions are almost gone, even though I expect them to come, you know, fear of feeling bad again...I think is normal after such a terrifyng experience.I still have disrupted sleep, I help myself with a minimum dose of 0.25mg Alprazolam & 12.50mg Seroquel and try not to fight it anymore.

 

Let me tell you that just 16 days ago I had a crisis and I almost went back to ssris, thanks to you I did not do it and I am glad and thankful for that.

 

I have had anxiety problems since I was very young, due I think to genetics and a abusive and crazy father.

 

I became an alcoholic very young and that was my way to deal with my fears and anxiety.

 

I quit drinking some years ago, but 5 years ago I ended a very toxic relationship, and crashed into a bad major deppression.

 

This was my first experience with AD and I really hope it´s gonna be my last, but I´ve learned among other things to live by the day.

 

This hard process has forced me to bring out the best of my spiritual an human resources, and that is good.

 

With ALL RESPECT, I think that to be expecting the "window" to shut is not very positive to me;I try to see it in other way, It is like learning little by little how to live life without the drug.

 

I know that the brain has to re-adjust chemically, but there is a lot of neurosis in me; I think that in this process I am like beeing re-born... (I wish I could express myself better in English.) There is a lot of inner work to do get to the other shore, it has been years of dealing with emotions and alcohol, and finally Effexor, I have to learn to re-make things in a better way now.I have to be strong, humble, disciplined, etc.In other wordsa better person that I used to be.

 

Ok, this is my situation now: finantially broke, much more in control, very low anxiety, almost no neuro-emotions,a little anxiety when I go to bed, because I have disrupted sleep and I think it reminds me the big deppresion, 0.25mg Alprazolam & 12.25mg Seroquel to help me sleep

 

I am a resilient person, I think.

 

Thanks to you all

[alex]

Hello Alto and everybody; let me tell you that despite a tough finantial moment, I´m doing much better.

 

It´s 4 months and 1 week since my last dose of Effexor, and I am in much more control emotionally and chemically (sorry )

 

My situation with money is difficult, I started a small fast-food bussines, and you know how it is when you start, but evn though this situation stresses me out, I don´t get that awful feeling of getting to the edge, better apetite, no more diharrea, anxiety is low, neuro-emotions are almost gone, even though I expect them to come, you know, fear of feeling bad again...I think is normal after such a terrifyng experience.I still have disrupted sleep, I help myself with a minimum dose of 0.25mg Alprazolam & 12.50mg Seroquel and try not to fight it anymore.

 

Let me tell you that just 16 days ago I had a crisis and I almost went back to ssris, thanks to you I did not do it and I am glad and thankful for that.

 

I have had anxiety problems since I was very young, due I think to genetics and a abusive and crazy father.

 

I became an alcoholic very young and that was my way to deal with my fears and anxiety.

 

I quit drinking some years ago, but 5 years ago I ended a very toxic relationship, and crashed into a bad major deppression.

 

This was my first experience with AD and I really hope it´s gonna be my last, but I´ve learned among other things to live by the day.

 

This hard process has forced me to bring out the best of my spiritual an human resources, and that is good.

 

With ALL RESPECT, I think that to be expecting the "window" to shut is not very positive to me;I try to see it in other way, It is like learning little by little how to live life without the drug.

 

I know that the brain has to re-adjust chemically, but there is a lot of neurosis in me; I think that in this process I am like beeing re-born... (I wish I could express myself better in English.) There is a lot of inner work to do get to the other shore, it has been years of dealing with emotions and alcohol, and finally Effexor, I have to learn to re-make things in a better way now.I have to be strong, humble, disciplined, etc.In other wordsa better person that I used to be.

 

Ok, this is my situation now: finantially broke, much more in control, very low anxiety, almost no neuro-emotions,a little anxiety when I go to bed, because I have disrupted sleep and I think it reminds me the big deppresion, 0.25mg Alprazolam & 12.25mg Seroquel to help me sleep

 

I am a resilient person, I think.

 

Thanks to you all

 

[Skyler]

Hi Alex... is there supposed to be a message or is it caught up in the quote... I compared some of the quote to your previous message but it seems same. It's kind of hard to follow when a message is included in the quote.. thanks.

[alex]

HI Schuyler, is my mistake, I´m sorry, please give me your opininion.

 

I hurt my back yesterday; and even as I said, Iím feeling more control, I´m still very fragile, but not getting to the awful edge of distress.

[alex]

I just came back from work, I had a mild dysphoria,flu-like sensation, anxiety, that weird tingling in my arms, and I get scare again.. as I told you, I´m going thru a hard situation with money, but the feeling is NOT normal... is WD....?

[Jemima]

Check out these topics, Alex:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/137-neuro-emotion/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

Abnormal feelings are definitely part of withdrawal. Hang in there. Things do get better over time.

[alex]

Even though I get really scared, I have noticed that life stressors is very triggering.

 

I have noticed also that "waves" are not as bad...

[Skyler]

Even though I get really scared, I have noticed that life stressors is very triggering.

 

I have noticed also that "waves" are not as bad...

Alex, that's great that the waves are not as bad. I hope your other symptoms start to feel better as well, hang in there, you are doing good.

[alex]

thank you good and brave people

[alex]

My finantial can´t be worse; even though, I have noticed that "dysphoria" attacks are not as half as potent as they used to be.

 

There is a big emotional component in this process I think; I get SCARED!

[alex]

I´m feeling really tired and hopeless; and question myself if is worth it to live like this...I´m having really dark thoughts if you know what I mean... I wasn´t so miserable with Efexxor; but now you tell me I can´t go back; I feel terrible.I´m sorry

[alex]

I just took a nap, because of my condition, I´m not sure if I slept or not but I think I did.

 

Insomnia scares the hell out of me, I don´t know why...I feel like I won´t be able to travel or anything anymore... I´m very negative today....still, I feel a little bit better; I DON´T WANT TO LOOSE HOPE!!!!

 

Symptoms are not worse, on the contrary, are better; it is me, my ego, and the external circumstances that are bad, even though I KNOW that eventually will get better.

 

But I get into dispair and fear, I want to feel fine NOW! I´m so childish!

 

I think I took a nap!!! that is great for me.

 

Please, I wait for your reply

[Skyler]

I just took a nap, because of my condition, I´m not sure if I slept or not but I think I did.

 

Insomnia scares the hell out of me, I don´t know why...I feel like I won´t be able to travel or anything anymore... I´m very negative today....still, I feel a little bit better; I DON´T WANT TO LOOSE HOPE!!!!

 

Symptoms are not worse, on the contrary, are better; it is me, my ego, and the external circumstances that are bad, even though I KNOW that eventually will get better.

 

But I get into dispair and fear, I want to feel fine NOW! I´m so childish!

 

I think I took a nap!!! that is great for me.

 

Please, I wait for your reply

 

By Alex, reposted

Hi Schuyler, thanks, I´m sorry I don´t know how to use the Forum correctly but at least I can comunicate.

 

I´m having this awful feeling of dispair,that Shanti describes so well.

 

I have dark thoughts, and that scares me a lot; I don´t want to do anything stupid.

 

My money problems don´t allow me to pay for professional help, so You people is all I have, thank God.

 

My life has been difficult, but this is something else...

 

I feel doomed. I´m using a PC

Alex, tell us what you can about your circumstances.. are your withdrawal symptoms making it harder for you to cope with whatever has happened. What is making everything seem so dark. It sounds like you are in a valley but are not prone to being so low?

[alex]

Right now I´m going thru a difficult time with money, but I know is gonna get better (can´t get worse)It is just a matter of time

 

My acute symptoms are much better, anxiety, neuro-emotions,diharrea, etc.One symptom is on and it stresses me out specially: insomnia, but even that I think is not that bad, with a little help of 0.25mg Alprazolam and some herbal tea I´m able to sleep, disrupted, but I can sleep.

 

The thing is that I feel exactly as you say, I´m afraid not to be able to cope with the things I have to do make things straight(work.wise)

 

Is a sense of fear, that I am disabled, despite of the fact that I´m not worse, I´m better, than 2 or 3 months ago; emotions change, and I have been a very negative person in the sense that I always thought that I´m not able... and I am!

It has been 4 months and 10 days aprox. since my last Effexor dose

[xamendrummerx]

Hi, I wanted to say insomnia is also really bad for me in my withdrawal and relapse. I had an insomnia relapse triggered by the steroid cream hydrocortisone which I used only one time. I think it threw my cortisol into a chaotic state. Please be careful of anything you take, orally or topically. Pay attention to everything that you come into contact with (even if it's a cream for itching skin). There are things out there I never would imagine could throw me back into relapse so I am very cautious now. I know this probably isn't the cause of your relapse since you quit Effexor during the summer and it can take 9 months to see good improvement in sleep, but people like us have become hypersensitive to chemicals like hydrocortisone and need to stay away from using certain chemicals if possible.

[Skyler]

Right now I´m going thru a difficult time with money, but I know is gonna get better (can´t get worse)It is just a matter of time

 

My acute symptoms are much better, anxiety, neuro-emotions,diharrea, etc.One symptom is on and it stresses me out specially: insomnia, but even that I think is not that bad, with a little help of 0.25mg Alprazolam and some herbal tea I´m able to sleep, disrupted, but I can sleep.

 

The thing is that I feel exactly as you say, I´m afraid not to be able to cope with the things I have to do make things straight(work.wise)

 

Is a sense of fear, that I am disabled, despite of the fact that I´m not worse, I´m better, than 2 or 3 months ago; emotions change, and I have been a very negative person in the sense that I always thought that I´m not able... and I am!

It has been 4 months and 10 days aprox. since my last Effexor dose

Yes, it will get better, has already done so from what you say. You need to pull the plug on the neuroemotions.. try doing this before you start work, put things in perspective. The effect of neuroemotions is kind of like being inside bell... the neuroemotions are amplified by the clapper. Real world sounds are in the background.. they are the you who is really you. I use a meditation script to stop the clapper.. check it out here to and see if it helps some?

 

I'm glad your insomnia is remitting and it really does sound like you are starting to recover. How did you sleep last night?

 

PS...good job on the sig line. How often are you taking the klonopin, and for how long?

[alex]

Hi Schuyler, I´m taking .25 Alprazolam & 12.5 Seroquel to help me sleep; this has been for the last 2 months.

 

I am able to sleep, very distrupted though; I get sleep, wake up, back to sleep,and so on every hour or 90 minutes...I don´t fight anymore, because it gets worse.I hated though.

[Skyler]

Hi Schuyler, I´m taking .25 Alprazolam & 12.5 Seroquel to help me sleep; this has been for the last 2 months.

 

I am able to sleep, very distrupted though; I get sleep, wake up, back to sleep,and so on every hour or 90 minutes...I don´t fight anymore, because it gets worse.I hated though.

 

How much sleep total do you get on an average night? I have insomnia pretty much as you describe. (I've been in a small window for the last 4 nights - YEAH!). I listen to the radio at night.. talk, sometimes music. I still drop off to get zzzzzzs, but listening makes the seemingly interminable hours of wakefulness pass more quickly, and I stopped fighting.. just accept sleep will be disrupted, this also helps.

[alex]

Hi Schuyler, I´m been able to sleep thru the night, but I wake up every hr and go back inmediately to sleep, and it goes, on and off, it´s very weird.Very vivid dreams, sometimes I know I have slept because of the dreaming;but I am getting my rest.

I don´t fight it anymore, I accept it;like many other things. This terrible process has brought up the best of me: more humble, more patient, better person, I think.

 

Thanks for beeing there for me and my best wishes to you all.

[alex]

Hello everybody; it has been 4 months and a half since my last dose of Efexxor.

 

I have noticed that due to my condition and aprehensivnes to feel bad, I get mixed up with normal feelings, like just being tired, thinking is a dysphoria attack...any comments on that? (sorry for my english)

[Skyler]

Hello everybody; it has been 4 months and a half since my last dose of Efexxor.

 

I have noticed that due to my condition and apprehensiveness to feel bad, I get mixed up with normal feelings, like just being tired, thinking is a dysphoria attack...any comments on that? (sorry for my english)

Good Mornin to ya Alex, Hope your night was tolerable. Wow, your 4 month milestone. You are on your way to getting your life back.

 

Do you mean you tend to feel more apprehensive about normally down moods due to withdrawal? Like the normal 'yuck' stuff seems worse that it actually is? This would be a yes.. it's more difficult to wade thru the normal life demands. How were you before withdrawal compared to now? Would you respond any differently to them these same challenges, maybe the burden did not used to seem so heavy.

 

Good to hear from you, ~S

[alex]

Hi Schuyler, I´m rushing out to work, thanks for correcting my english

 

I´ll talk to you at night.

 

Muchas gracias.

[alex]

Hello Schuyler, yes my nights are crazy, but tolerable.

 

As you say WD makes every day problems very heavy; but I have noticed something that I think is a good sign: a few weeks ago these problems triggered a bad attack of dysphoria; now I´m more in control, I don´t get to the edge of dispair and anxiety, that awful feeling of terror in the chest and arms...and let me tell you I HAVE PROBLEMS!!

 

Thanks to you again and keep in touch.

[Skyler]

Hi Schuyler, I´m rushing out to work, thanks for correcting my english

 

Alex, your English is quite good, would I had a second language! I was just clarifying your message to make sure of the meaning.

 

Hello Schuyler, yes my nights are crazy, but tolerable.

 

As you say WD makes every day problems very heavy; but I have noticed something that I think is a good sign: a few weeks ago these problems triggered a bad attack of dysphoria; now I´m more in control, I don´t get to the edge of dispair and anxiety, that awful feeling of terror in the chest and arms...and let me tell you I HAVE PROBLEMS!!

I'm glad to hear you are feeling improved. Hopefully you are feeling better able to tend to the tasks on hand. The best salve for anxiety is constructive action, doubly so when the anxiety is spiked with neuroemotions.

[alex]

Hello everybody; I am 4 months and 18 days aprox. Efexxor free.

 

I feel I´m getting my life back.Waves have become more and more weak, dysphoria attacks are mild, and what remains is this dull-like feeling of anxiety, that doesn´t get big anymore, even though I expect it to do (apprehensive). I can feel my brain healing and synapsis getting quite normal.I´m able to cope with every day stressors without getting that awfull feeling of dysphoria and tiredness.

 

Now, this has required a lot of inner work from myself; to bring up as I said the best of me, and try, day by day, to leave the bad stuff behind.It has been a purifing process.

 

I am a survivor of physical and emotional abuse, so I grew up with very low selfsteem, and a good deal of anxiety.

 

These issues I am working on, to be a better person in order to feel and live a better life.

 

I try to leave behind the bad habit of "scanning" myself looking for bad things or feelings, learning to "forgive" me and be proud for what I am.

 

My close friends don´t understand the way I feel, dysphoria, anxiety, zapping...but they tell me it must be quite a trip...indeed.

 

I don´t pay too much atention to the pattern of waves and windows, all I can feel is my body trying to heal,and in the meantime, my spirit also;and I believe Im doing it.

 

One symptom that remains and it stresses me, is insomnia, so I don´t fight it anymore, I´m helping myself with the lowest dose of med. .25mg Xanax & 12.5mg Seroquel.I am able to sleep but disrupted.

 

I am not getting any professional advise or help, only you people.

 

I´m feeling more hopefull, but also realistic that I´m still in the process.

[Jemima]

One symptom that remains and it stresses me, is insomnia, so I don´t fight it anymore, I´m helping myself with the lowest dose of med. .25mg Xanax & 12.5mg Seroquel. I am able to sleep but disrupted.

 

 

Being a man, you might feel really silly doing this, but a sleep mask helped me tremendously when I was going through withdrawal insomnia as did darkening the bedroom as much as possible (room-darkening shades drawn, room-darkening curtains, no night-lights). Most of the sleep masks I've seen are quite feminine, but if you can get past that I expect it would help you sleep. Any kind of light source can wake a person whose cortisol levels are already elevated from antidepressant withdrawal.

 

Once I was able to sleep, I was also able to heal quite a bit faster. Sleep is a wonder drug, IMO.

 

Also, see this topic: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

[alex]

Thanks Jemima.

 

Don´t worry, I don´t mind using an eye mask or anything.But it´s ok, my room is dark enough.

 

I have noticed that a few weeks ago, any intelectual or even physical work triggered a neuro-emotion; still does but it is not even half strong as it used to be.

 

I mean, my brain is healing, isn´t it?

 

Ok, disrupted sleep; is this a symptom that has a tendency to persist?

[alex]

CORTISOL....it seems that this is the big issue in WD.

 

As I said, I feel I´m improving, but, should I let my body heal by itself? should I help it with some supplements like Phospatydilserine?

 

Some tell me is good, (Phosphatydilserine) some tell me to stay away... what should I do?

[Jemima]

Thanks Jemima.

 

Don´t worry, I don´t mind using an eye mask or anything. But it´s ok, my room is dark enough.

Even a little bit of light seeping in can make a difference.

 

 

I have noticed that a few weeks ago, any intelectual or even physical work triggered a neuro-emotion; still does but it is not even half strong as it used to be.

 

I mean, my brain is healing, isn´t it?

 

 

It sounds like it. Neuro emotions are slow to go away altogether though, I've found. I've been off Lexapro exactly a year and just began having feelings that seem real and normal a few weeks ago.

 

Ok, disrupted sleep; is this a symptom that has a tendency to persist?

 

All I know is that once I darkened the bedroom and wore a sleep mask, I was able to sleep through the night and it helped me tremendously.

[Jemima]

CORTISOL....it seems that this is the big issue in WD.

 

As I said, I feel I´m improving, but, should I let my body heal by itself? should I help it with some supplements like Phospatydilserine?

 

Some tell me is good, (Phosphatydilserine) some tell me to stay away... what should I do?

 

I tried the Phospatydilserine and found that it made me groggy. Eventually it caused a nasty stomach upset so I stopped using it. And it's quite expensive.

 

Overall, most supplements don't help and a lot of them will make you feel worse because our bodies become so over-sensitive to chemicals when we're in withdrawal. The only supplements that seem to help most people consistently are fish oil with high EPA/DHA content and magnesium.

 

Here's a truckload of info on supplements:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-herbs-treatments/

[Altostrata]

alex, have you tried a little magnesium to help with the anxious feelings?

 

Yes, withdrawal syndrome challenges us to make good change for ourselves. We have to, to make it through.

 

It's a very good sign your symptoms are weakening. You are recovering!

[alex]

Hello Alto, hello Jemima, so good to hear from you!

 

Let me tell you that I have been Efexxor free for more than 4 & a half months and I have had ALL kind of stressors; money problems. discussions with my girlfriend, (I had one today) and none of these circumstances triggers the awfull dysphoria-anxiety attacks as it used to.

 

Just a few weeks ago I wasn´t able to see ugly things on TV; I was hypersensitive to everything.

 

Now I feel more control, despite of a feeling of fear to feel bad again....I think is normal.

 

And here is an issue, important I think: what is normal for me?

 

I know I´m still in WD because I feel symptoms I never felt before: flu-like, dull-like anxiety, tiredness,insomnia...

 

But I must be aware that I´ve had anxiety problems ALL my life, so I am learning to separate the emotions, and is not easy.

 

My mind also tricks me and I think I wont be able to live my life as I used to before taking SSRI´S.

 

Because of fear from my symptoms, I have a little avoidance behavior, but I fight it.

 

The other night I went out to a friend´s house and I was able to have a good time with them, chating and having some BBQ.This I couldn´t do a few weeks ago.

 

I´m not thinking of reinstate SSri, I know there is a lot of work to do ahead, but I DON´T feel so bad even when I don´t feel good.

 

Yes Alto, i´m taking 250mg Magnesium daily for two months now, also fish oil.I´m eating good, more apetite,and feeling more hopefull,your help has been very important.

[Altostrata]

Alex, it sounds like you're healing from withdrawal. Patience, my friend.

[alex]

In these important days of change I wish you a merry Christmas and a good and quick healing.

 

I am 5 months aprox. from my last dose of Effexor, and the symptoms are not even as half as they used to be.

 

I am healing, for sure; and I fight the fear of feeling bad again, because it is only that: fear.

[Skyler]

Merry Christmas Alex. Glad you found the forum.