alex Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 May update: 7 wavy days, 24 good or low symptoms days. Persisting symptoms,floating anxiety, broken sleep, premature ejaculation. Managing stress better.Terror-horror reactions fading away. Hoping more healing is coming. 34 months off. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Pompoms waving! Yay, Alex! January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
alex Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Into another awful wave of dysphoria;anxiety, depression,fear, dark thoughts. At almost 3 years off,how much suffering do I have to endure? ****!!! 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted June 14, 2015 Member Share Posted June 14, 2015 I see the fact that you do get periods of feeling relatively well as a sign that your nervous system is still healing, if inelegantly. It takes such a very long time and is not a linear progression that's for sure. There certainly is enough evidence for that if you read the stories on this board.... What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
alex Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 June update: 6 wavy days and 24 low or very low symptoms days. Definitely getting out of the woods. Lingering symptoms: floating anxiety-DP, (low) broken sleep,premature ejaculation, tinnitus, tiredness. Doing almost normal life now most of the time. Three years off next July 26th. 1 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Adagiooo Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Good for you Alex, may you have 100% healing very soon. 2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol 03/04-11/04 Abilify 11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic 6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium. 07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional 10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia 6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 So happy for you! This is the greatest news and thanks for sharing! Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
stan Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 hi Alex i am very glad you are going nice most time, i read many good testimonies about 4 years on meds for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
alex Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Into another awful wave since last Sunday. Exhaustion,anxiety,DP, dark thoughts, awful premature ejaculation (I believe this is directly connected with anxiety....) Again the feeling of doom, dread, and despair... I'll be 3 yrs off next 26th. The suffering goes on;with clear windows in between;thankfully. I also believe that I have to humbly accept that Effexor destroyed my REM sleep, and maybe it is ireversible...very sad. Hanging on to hope.Like the rest of us here, victims of these f*****g meds. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 This is very heartbreaking Alex. I'm so sorry for another wave you have to go through. You are not alone we are all suffering so badly. I feel like wanting to dine today with massive, intolerable needling pain allover triggered by a root canal. The drug damaged us in an insane manner which requires so much time repairing. Hanging in there, you will have another window for sure. Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
alex Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Thank you Lex. I have noticed that waves are not as bad as before. Hanging on. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
AliG Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 So sorry. 3 yrs off. What are your symptoms now? I believe sleep comes back , eventually. It just seems to take a lot of time. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I'm so sorry. I have insomnia too and it always throws me into despair quicker than any other symptom. It's like a living hell. I have a lot of sympathy for you. I just pray this all ends for you. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Mikey1975 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Hi its horid isnt it , it feels like inthe end you just fear going to bed, i nod off on the settee alot of the time i find it easier than going to bed Link to comment
alex Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Thank you dear friends. I must say that even that I am still in the window-wave pattern,things are not as bad now. Dread and terror are gone. What comes with the wave, is a very uncomfortable dysphoria,(anxiety and DP) but it is easier to cope now. The worst lingering symptom is broken sleep.It seems that my REM sleep is severly damaged...I fall sleep, and then wake up, fall sleep, and wake up.on and off all night long...very scary.At least there are no helish cortisol surges as before, so I try to stay calm, not to panic, and manage to rest through the night. Right in this moment that I'm writing,I think the 5 day wave is over;back to low symptoms again. Hope and patience...and a lot of balls... It gets better,albeit slowly though. 1 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Jemima Posted July 10, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 10, 2015 Go, Alex! If you're having good days, you're definitely on your way to full healing. In fact you're doing really well considering how long you were on Effexor. I was only on antidepressants for 15 months and it took 3 & 1/2 years after stopping Lexapro (abruptly) before withdrawal symptoms went away. I still have some problems with sleep, but I don't consider it permanent damage. I think the brain can heal itself here too; it just takes longer to clear up than the other symptoms. I can now sleep soundly for five to five and a half hours, and occasionally can go back to sleep in the morning for one to two hours, so I'm doing pretty well there. It's a long, slow trudge up the mountainside, but the view from the top is spectacular! 1 Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's RazorIntroduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/ Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers. Link to comment
alex Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Thank you for your kind, supporting words dear J. Yes, I do believe healing never stops, and sleep needs a special fine tuning. Waves are getting shorter and milder, and windows longer and clearer. Hanging on, and enjoying the good days.... 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
OutdoorsMan15 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 3+ years off..... I am almost at 7 months off, have been keeping busy during that time and it STILL has felt like forever. What has it been like to push through this for years? September-December 2012: 10mg Paxil and no long term W/D symptoms July-August 2013: 10mg Celexa for anxiety-based(?) insomnia, no W/D symptoms October-December 2014: 37.5 and then 75mg Effexor XR December 18, 2014: Last dose of Effexor after ~ 3 week taper Link to comment
alex Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 . What has it been like to push through this for years? PURE HELL. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
alex Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 . What has it been like to push through this for years? PURE HELL. BUT...,everybody is different,and I can see you were on the drugs for a short time. I, on the other hand, was on a hefty dose of Effexor for 4 years...and I am 61 yrs... So, it doesn't have to be that bad. And, you will be med. free...FREE!! 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Hey sweet Alex. Glad to see you're pulling out of the wave. You are healing, buddy boy. My sleep has gone to hell for all nine months, worse in months 7 and 8. Plus I still have the 3am cortisol doorbell that wakes me up. Guess it's all part and parcel of WD chit. Love you, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
alex Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 3 years anniversary and July Update: It is getting better all the time. I'm still in the window- wave pattern, but the waves are loosing their power, and the windows are getting longer and clearer. Horror days are over.Sleep still broken, but much better,I wake up, but go back to sleep w/o problem,no cortisol surges anymore. No dreadfull mornings anymore. Every day of low symptoms, is a day that I gain power and confidence. Residual anxiety and DP still bothers me, but now I KNOW it will go away in time too. My recipe? LOTS of patience, acceptance, courage, and stay away from ANY kind of psychiatric drug. Despite the horrible fear, doubt and despair, the body and brain keeps healing day by day...it's just a matter of time. Keep walking and stay alive..!! 1 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Lexy Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Thanks for sharing. It means a lot for the rest of us who are still suffering the effexor hell. Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg. Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45 Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89 Link to comment
Pugknows Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Alex, big hugs from me. So happy for you on getting your life back. You've always encouraged me and I appreciate it. Your outlook on the future is bright. It gives me hope, dear friend. Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 You are making it to the outer world! So encouraging, and thanks for giving hopes to everyone still suffering! One quick question, were you able to work during these years battling? Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Purplestars22 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 What a great update, it's so uplifting hope we all get there where you are at. It must be just a relief to have residual symptoms and start living. Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety Failed attempt to stop reinstated 1 year taper skipping doses Celexa free 12/2013 1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted July 31, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 31, 2015 Great to hear, Alex! Thank you for continually providing hope. Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
alex Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 One quick question, were you able to work during these years battling? No.But I always tried not to withdraw,if I was able to. There were days though where all I could do was survive. This has been the toughest experience by far. 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted July 31, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 31, 2015 Thank you for continuing to update Alex, its so encouraging to watch your progress towards full recovery. I'm sorry you still have the occasional wave and a few remaining issues, but you are so much better and improving all the time. I didn't realize you haven't been able to work through all this... we do what we can to survive and in time we will be happy and thrive again, and be so much stronger for the experience. You are well on your way to getting there ((hugs)) I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
eiledon20 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Reading about how alex is enduring is giving me hope. Be strong alex. I also need to be strong. Partner suddenly died 2014. Severe depression AGAIN (had previous episode 10 years ago). I was given escitalopram but could not bear the side effects, so i ask for an ECT (not sure if this helped). During the treatment and my hospital stay I was given Depakote mood stabilizer. PDOC says I need to take it for two years. After 4-5 months I have a hard time with the Depakote. Hard to get up in the morning. Depression again or Depakote effects? So stopped Depakote (did not know about tapering then) Januray 21, 2015. Severe depression again, started Pristiq 50mg and clonazepam 0.5 mg nightly. Had confusion, suicidal thoughts, thoughts about death, and find it hard to understand the TV, much more type in a computer. Had adverse reaction to most antidepressants: muscle pain/spasms, irritablity, restlessness. Also Tried Prozac, Zoloft, Escitalopram years ago. Started to taper pristiq and clonazepam after four months: 5th month: 2 weeks - 3/4 tablet PRISTIQ (deducting the clonazepam also, so hard to cut) 2 weeks - 1/2 tablet PRISTIQ (crumbs of clonazepam nightly) 2 weeks - 1/8 or less (hard to cut really) (zero clonazepam) Then jump off pristiq. I just wonder why I was cured during the 10 year period (2004-2014) I have no depression symptoms and no meds either. Pdoc said I might be biploar 2 but it is a "grey" area. Aren't bipolars supposed to be on maintenance meds?! Damn this diagnosis. I am tapering Pristiq either way. Link to comment
alex Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes, I'm in the window-wave pattern. The good thing is that not only the waves are getting weaker, but the windows outnumber the waves greatly. This month:22 low or very low symptoms days, 9 wavy days... I am 61 years...neuroplasticity never stops... And eilidon, don't believe what the psychiatrists say;when they have no clue of what is going on, they always come out with the same bS:"bipolar..." They are soooo full of s**t Keep walking, it gets better 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
johnson Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Hey Alex, Sounds like good news. You are improving. I'm not too far behind you as far as I'm 2 years and 8 months off my pills. However I'm still struggling daily. I'm pretty tired of this whole experience. I'm 33 years old and just dying for a second chance to live my life. I'm glad though you are getting better. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Hi Alex, Thanks very much again for sharing! Now you are a free man and can do whatever you like to do and enjoy the life three times of fullest. I remember you are part of singing group. Go singing and have lots fun! Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
eiledon20 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Hi alex. Thanks for the words of encouragement. But my pdoc does not want to add any more meds. So on that i thank him. Sometimes, we need to trust what they say. Of course they have not experienced our illness so they have limited knowledgd too. Only from the books Partner suddenly died 2014. Severe depression AGAIN (had previous episode 10 years ago). I was given escitalopram but could not bear the side effects, so i ask for an ECT (not sure if this helped). During the treatment and my hospital stay I was given Depakote mood stabilizer. PDOC says I need to take it for two years. After 4-5 months I have a hard time with the Depakote. Hard to get up in the morning. Depression again or Depakote effects? So stopped Depakote (did not know about tapering then) Januray 21, 2015. Severe depression again, started Pristiq 50mg and clonazepam 0.5 mg nightly. Had confusion, suicidal thoughts, thoughts about death, and find it hard to understand the TV, much more type in a computer. Had adverse reaction to most antidepressants: muscle pain/spasms, irritablity, restlessness. Also Tried Prozac, Zoloft, Escitalopram years ago. Started to taper pristiq and clonazepam after four months: 5th month: 2 weeks - 3/4 tablet PRISTIQ (deducting the clonazepam also, so hard to cut) 2 weeks - 1/2 tablet PRISTIQ (crumbs of clonazepam nightly) 2 weeks - 1/8 or less (hard to cut really) (zero clonazepam) Then jump off pristiq. I just wonder why I was cured during the 10 year period (2004-2014) I have no depression symptoms and no meds either. Pdoc said I might be biploar 2 but it is a "grey" area. Aren't bipolars supposed to be on maintenance meds?! Damn this diagnosis. I am tapering Pristiq either way. Link to comment
alex Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 Into another nasty wave, I'm afraid...4 days now. I am so tired that I don't want to write. I hope all this suffering brings me wisdom and strength.If I survive... 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 You will survive. Keep going. You can do this. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
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