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alex

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I have this weird obsessive-like thoughts about death, if I read about it, or watch it on tv, or somebody talks to me about someone who died...I get this horrible feeling of fear-doom.

 

I'm the same, been getting this on and off ever since being in withdrawal.  Its got so bad I don't even watch TV any more because you can't control what pops onto the screen..... all the bad news about what's going on in the world, commercials for life insurance, funeral insurance, accident insurance.  Violent TV shows..... much too overwhelming.

 

I think its common in withdrawal and we have to be extra careful about what we expose ourselves to until we are fully healed and our nervous systems have become stronger again.  I search the internet for peaceful, positive and uplifting videos and documentaries to watch.  So much of what's on main stream media is intentionally fear based.

 

Hang in there Alex, be gentle with yourself, this will pass eventually.

 

(hugs)

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Alex

 

A window shall open soon.

 

I'm sending prayers your way.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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I have this weird obsessive-like thoughts about death, if I read about it, or watch it on tv, or somebody talks to me about someone who died...I get this horrible feeling of fear-doom.

 

I'm the same, been getting this on and off ever since being in withdrawal.  Its got so bad I don't even watch TV any more because you can't control what pops onto the screen..... all the bad news about what's going on in the world, commercials for life insurance, funeral insurance, accident insurance.  Violent TV shows..... much too overwhelming.

 

This weird and awful feelings about death have gotten better.

It gets better very slowly and erratic though.

One good thing in all this suffering is that I am able to get through the night w/o too much trouble most of the time,I wake up several times but get back to sleep right away.It is slowly improving.

 

Thank you Petu and Lexy.

Hugs, A.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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Slowly but surely. Remember the hare won the race.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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Oops that was supposed to be the tortoise. My mind is very foggy and still dealing with headaches.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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It's ok Lexy.Yes we will win this race slowly but surely,like the tortoise... :)

I have been noticing one very good sign: I'm regaining the ability to take naps.Someting unthinkable a few months ago...

15 months Effexor free.

 

Hugs,A.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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Yes I was complaining about always feeling tired and sleepy but I'll take that anyway as opposed

To the other withdrawals. Might as well sleep through them.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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Update at 15 months Effexor free.

Emotional symptoms: Depression, anxiety, anhedonia;they all wax and wane by the hrs, some days are very low.Intrusive toughts (neuro fear,shame, guilt) they come and go but had gotten better (less frequent and strong)

Suicidal thoughts and obsession with death, come and go but gotten better also.

Insomnia,been able to sleep up to 4-5 hrs; it is weird because even when I wake up during that time, I don't recall been awake.Maybe I'm sleeping more or better and I don't notice it??

 

Physical symptoms: Premature ejaculation; tinnitus (low) numb feeling in hands (low) changes in the voice (due to anxiety I think)

 

Things that I can do now that I couldn't a few months ago: watch almost any program on TV, read the papers, work out, eat better, interact with people.

 

Overall progression I believe.

Waves and windows are the pattern.

 

Scared and tired but more hopeful ( in this moment) -_-

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 Things that I can do now that I couldn't a few months ago: watch almost any program on TV, read the papers, work out, eat better, interact with people. Overall progression I believe.Waves and windows are the pattern. Scared and tired but more hopeful ( in this moment) -_-

I can do those things AGAIN too, Alex! I don't think I'll ever be able to watch those sad commercials about abused animals, though.Hugs and healing!
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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

 

Things that I can do now that I couldn't a few months ago: watch almost any program on TV, read the papers, work out, eat better, interact with people.

 

I hope you're relishing all this!  If I may ask, what was your reaction to working out before and when did you become able to do it again?

 

Glad to hear that you're coming along Alex, even if the road is still bumpy.

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

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Things that I can do now that I couldn't a few months ago: watch almost any program on TV, read the papers, work out, eat better, interact with people.

 

I hope you're relishing all this!  If I may ask, what was your reaction to working out before and when did you become able to do it again?

Thank you for your support Narc,

I couldn't do almost anything that required physical or mental effort, w/o getting the awful dysphoria feeling.

It wasn't until 1 year off that I started to do some exercise with weights, and now I'm able to work out without problem.

But it took me 1 year to get to this and other things that I have recovered.

I am 15 months off Effexor.No AD since then,none.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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 Things that I can do now that I couldn't a few months ago: watch almost any program on TV, read the papers, work out, eat better, interact with people. Overall progression I believe.Waves and windows are the pattern. Scared and tired but more hopeful ( in this moment) -_-

I can do those things AGAIN too, Alex! I don't think I'll ever be able to watch those sad commercials about abused animals, though.Hugs and healing!

 

I am glad for you Teeza; yes, things start to come back very slowly though.

TV is full of ugly things anyway...

 

Hugs and healing to you too.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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I am having a terrible setback with insomnia.

I have been taking 0.25 xanax bed time for the last year

I have been tapering for the last 2 months and I was at 0.125 aprox. and doing fine

I tried to decrease to 0.100 aprox and I'm having insomnia like NEVER before in this horrible ordeal.

I don't have a scale; Iam very confused, scared and tired.

Going through a very stressful situation in my life.

This is no life; strong dark thoughts again

This very complicated

I really don't know if this is just a wave or it is because of the Benzos...who knows?? nobody...

 

Sometimes, like right now I wonder if I'm gonna survive this

 

I am sorry.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I am having a terrible setback with insomnia.

I have been taking 0.25 xanax bed time for the last year

I have been tapering for the last 2 months and I was at 0.125 aprox. and doing fine

I tried to decrease to 0.100 aprox and I'm having insomnia like NEVER before in this horrible ordeal.

I don't have a scale; Iam very confused, scared and tired.

 

I really don't know if this is just a wave or it is because of the Benzos...who knows?? nobody...

 

Hi Alex...  Benzos are notorious for lag time catching up..Lag time happens when you have tapered too fast for the neuroceptors to reset. I don't know if you can roll the WD clock back, but for now, updose to the last dose on which you felt well.

 

For tapering.. you need to learn how to make a liquid suspension if you don't have access to a compounding pharmacy (this option would be best, but it can be expensive).. Alex, I know you don't want to go here, but benzo WD can be really miserable.  And it's unlikely you will have an easy go of it because you just went thru an uncomfortable time with AD WD.  So be good to yourself.. check into the benzo sub forum below, one of two of the kindly folk here are tapering Xanax, and you should be able to get some direction.

 

Skyler

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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Thank you Skyler

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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I am in a bad bad wave;it started 2 weeks ago, after a short period of clear windows.

I am getting worse in some areas, and no big improvements in others.

terrible fear, dysphoria,depresion, hopelessnes, suicidal thoughts.

My sleep is so bad, I can't believe it.

I really doubt it if I'll have the strenght to pull out of this one.

How sad after a life struggling with emotional problems.

I am dying here.

I am sorry

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Ugh, I'm so sorry, Alex.  

 

 

 

I really doubt it if I'll have the strenght to pull out of this one.

 

 Try to remember that the wave will end on its own, and that you just have to endure, which you're doing beautifully.  Perhaps it's better not to struggle and to take the symptoms as they are.  Better said than done, I know.  If I ever figure out how to do it I'll let you know.  

 

Hang in there, a new window's around the corner.

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Alex,

I'm sorry you are struggling again with a bad wave.  We are all here for you, and you will get through this one, another window is coming soon.

 

Perhaps it would be a good idea to hold off on your Xanax tapering until you have been feeling well for a long time.  Maybe even as much as 6 months to give your body a chance to really stabilize.

 

Perhaps someone else can offer an opinion on this.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you Narc and Petu;yes, I'm going to hold to the dose of xanax I've been for the last 2 months.

I don't have a scale, but it is small, 0.125mg

I have noticed that if I have a "fairly" good night, things go well;on the contrary, if I have a bad night, symptoms get worse.

Do you think such a small dose of xanax is givin me trouble?

 

Hanging on

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Do you think such a small dose of xanax is givin me trouble?

 

Before I quit Lexapro, (when I wasn't in withdrawal) I could occasionally take .25mg or even .5mg of Xanax if I found myself in a stressful situation, I would be fine the next day.

 

But since going into withdrawal, I get horrible rebound anxiety if I take even a quarter of a .25mg, that's what I was taking on an irregular basis earlier this year before finding this site.  I was breaking a .25mg into 4, so that was about .062mg.

 

My concern is that you are taking Xanax at night for sleep and what you are having during the day is rebound anxiety when it wears off, I'm not sure though, maybe someone with more benzo experience can chime in and provide more help, but from my own experience, a small amount of Xanax can definitely cause problems.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

You have been through this before and you have come out of it. Have faith, it will pass. I have been prescribed Xanax before I started the effexor for panic attacks. I only used it as needed even though Dr prescribed it for 3 times daily as needed. When I would take it it was .5mg to 1mg and felt relief now on withdrawals just taking 1/4 of a .5mg I feel so numb and rebound anxiety for almost two days.

Hang on, we are here for you.

Have you thought of graphing your waves and windows to see if there pis a pattern? Also by looking at your graph you can go back and see how far you have come.

Be strong.

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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Yesterday I was dealing with an awful wave:horrible dysphoria,anxiety, depression,fear, intrusive thoughts, extreme fatigue...

Today I'm having quite a clear window...is this CRAZY or what!!!!

 

Thank you for your support good and brave people,A.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

Link to comment

Clear, clear window today....

 

Good night everyone.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Good night Alex, sleep well.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

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VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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After a remarkable good month in August, I'm seeing a worsening pattern especially in the last weeks.

This scares the hell out of me.Is this normal? (if there is anything normal in this monstruous syndrome....)

Neuro-fear, anxiety, depression, intrusive-obsessive thoughts, terrible broken sleep (this haven't got any better) PSSD.

I will be 60 tomorrow (what a sad way to celebrate your birthday) and my fear is that this chronic state of stress can give me a heart attack or a stroke...

EFFEXOR, a d*mn word a will NEVER forget in my life!!

A terrible thought assaults my mind:what if this is as good as it gets??

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Alex, I'm not sure why you think it's the Effexor? Please enlighten me here.  From 3.5 years of reading and contributing on benzo forums, I have learned that benzos have as bad a track record for WD as ADs. And they can be trickier to taper than ADs. And if you are already sensitized from a too precipitous taper from an AD, a rapid benzo taper (faster than 10% off the previous month, hold 4 to 6 weeks) will not be pleasant.  Are you concerned you will not be able to deal with a liquid taper?  I understand you are feeling really bad, but there are measures you can take, and it's a frustration to watch you continue to hurt without checking out the options.  Grrr... I so wish I was there to show you how to make up the solution.. once you get it down it's really easy, promise!

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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Thank you for your concern S, but I've been holding the same dose for the last 2 months.

And I am holding the same dose (0.125) I am not going down.

I would like to learn how to make it liquid though.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you for your concern S, but I've been holding the same dose for the last 2 months.

And I am holding the same dose (0.125) I am not going down.

I would like to learn how to make it liquid though.

 

Hey again.. glad to hear you are interested in learning how to make the liquid. Stop into the benzo sub forum, there are a couple of folks there who might give you a hand.

 

I'm concerned you are now destabilized from the rapid benzo taper.. you may need to hold some months more before you really start to feel an improvement.  Benzos are the !@#$ if you can excuse my French.  I don't use it much, but when I hear another nice soul who has fallen afoul of them.. Anyhow, off my soap box.. you may have a significant improvement by splitting the doses into QID, and you can do this easily with a liquid.  This is what I'd do were I you.  And my guess is you will feel some relief shortly after you start taking divided doses (I can help you with this).  

 

Skyler

As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule.

 

Requip - 3/16 ZERO  Total time on 25 years.

 

Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.

BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10)  Total time on 25 years.

 

Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section.  "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin

 

 

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Alex, I'm not sure why you think it's the Effexor? Please enlighten me here.

 First of all, I wish I could express myself in english the way I want.

Well, I think I am in the typical pattern of waves and windows of Effexor W/D...Isn't it the way it goes??

I've had improvements, and then relapses; with a very slow overall progress.

I am going through a very stressful time in my life, and that makes symptoms worse I believe.

I am going to hold the 0.125mg dose that I've been taking for the last 2+ months for helping me sleep.(is NOT helping much...)

I do want to get med free though, and give my body the chance to heal more naturally.

On the other hand, with all respect Skler, how do you know this is benzo related and not the usual pattern of AD w/d??

I would like to hear Altostrata's opinion on this.

Anyhow, I would really appreciate your advice to taper off.

 

Hugs, A.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Alex,

 

It does sound like the windows and waves pattern to me. There are people that have rebound anxiety from taking one dose daily but I don't. I take Xanax only at bedtime and I was taking 3mg a day.

 

I have windows and waves but more good than bad for the past three months. I've only had tiny waves, just enough to remind me that I'm not there, yet.

 

Maybe Alto will give her expert opinion.

 

You do have some very good and 'clear' windows and, recently, had a good long window, right? Do you get anxiety at a certain time each day?

 

Even though the Xanax is not 'helping' you sleep, sleep would likely get worse if you were not taking it. I think it's wise of you to hold off tapering any more of it right now.

 

Hugs and love, T

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  • Administrator

Alex, I don't know if your waves are because of the benzo taper. They can be. If you hold and they get better, that's an indication you're going too fast.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Oki Doki.

Feeling better today;it's my birhtday! 60....!! :o

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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Happy Birthday Alex .. :)

I send you wishes of well being, and healing, love, joy, and many blessings.

Also the biggest wish, for you to be free of this benzo Alex ..

You have endured enough..

Hang in there, and always remember to "keep walking"

Love and hugs,

Lexi

Hello,
I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs.

I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, 

but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern.
For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed.
Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief :(

I take no other meds.

January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline,

at a detox clinic.

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:D HAPPY BIRTHDAY  :) ALEX :D 

Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds

Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.

Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg

May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg

Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45

Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg

Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg

Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

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Thank you!! thank you!!

All my love to you my good and lovely friends!!

I had a good day with a clear  window!!what a birthday present!! :)

We can make it!! we WILL make it!!

 

Tezza, I love your new avatar.........

 

Big hug to you ALL, A.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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