Dooter - Tapering off of Lexapro

[Dooter]

Hello, I'm Dooter - I've been lurking around this site for the past couple months or so. I've gathered a lot of very useful info from here to help me in my journey to be free of A/Ds, specifically Lexapro.

 

I think my main reason for wanting to be free is my general frustration with psychiatrists (at least the ones I've dealt with - I've had 3 different doctors total). I'm tired of their condensending responses to me when I've had side effects, I'm tired of them handing out A/D's like candy, I'm tired of them not being up front with me about the side effects and how I would become so dependent on the drugs, and I'm tired of the general lack of respect from them - waiting for hours sometimes in the waiting room for them - the last dr I had didn't even bother to show up to work the last time. That was when I decided I'd had enough, and I walked out.

 

So, I am going at this Lexapro taper without being under the guidance of a medical professional. A little scary, but that's where I am at with it. I have 2 months worth of 20mg tablets left. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to make them stretch - I might have to look into an overseas pharmacy to purchase more so that I can taper slowly enough - I've never tried that route before, so I'm a little anxious about that.. Ideally, I'd like to find a doctor I trust to help me taper, but I just don't think I will find one.

 

I am scared and hopeful at the same time. I am scared because I know what discontinuation feels like, and it's the worst thing I've ever felt. It felt like I was going insane and might never feel right again, along with the horrible flu-like symptoms that plagued me for months, constantly. I am scared I will feel all of that again at some point during the taper. I am hopeful because I remember the person I used to be before A/D's - I had energy, I was a healthy weight, I enjoyed sex, and I had a personality and had feelings. I am hopeful that I will regain those qualities once again and no longer just be a shell of my former self.

 

Currently, I am dissolving my 20 mg Lexapro tablets in 20 mg of distilled water, then using a graduated syringe to measure up my dosage. Pretty easy, but I would have never known how to do that without the invaluable info on this site. :]

 

I am currently at 10.2 mg/day, and I am only just now starting to feel the slightest waves of lightheaded-ness. I probably wouldn't even notice them if I hadn't already felt what discontinuation was in the past - now I am hyper-aware of the symptoms, which is probably a good thing because I'll know when I need to slow down before things get out-of-hand.

 

I'm sure I'm leaving out info, not on purpose of course - if something isn't clear, please ask!

 

It's nice to meet you all!

[GiaK]

very few of us have anything resembling competent medical supervision because it pretty much doesn't exist...so you're not alone in that.

 

I did well with simply having a doctor who listened to what I needed and prescribed what I needed as well...

 

have you considered that you will most likely need a prescriber? unless you have a stock of the stuff you do need a doctor to keep it coming until you get off of all of it.

 

 

oh...if you're having withdrawal symptoms for the first time it's a good idea to hold your taper until the symptoms remit completely.

 

best to you...

[Dooter]

Hi GiaK,

 

Yes, I plan to hold at the 10.2mg/day until the lightheaded-ness subsides, however slight it may be - I don't want to push it. Actually, should I hold at 10.2 mg/day, or should I go back up to the last dosage that I didn't feel any symptoms on, which was 12 mg/day?

 

And yes, I'm on the fence right now as to whether I am going to risk trying trying out an overseas pharmacy to purchase my Lexapro from (they all seem so shady, I just don't know how I'm going to find a trustworthy one), or if I'm going to try to find a doctor who is at least somewhat understanding but most importantly will prescribe me the Lexapro.

 

Will a general practicioner prescribe A/D's? I've only ever been seen by psychiatrists for my anxiety/depression, and I really don't want to try to find another psychiatrist - I just don't trust them.

[GiaK]

yes, GPs will prescribe them...and you might not have to get into details with them at all...which might be best...

 

I'm sorry I didn't WELCOME you...I'm not on here all the time and my head is in a fog today.

 

So WELCOME.

 

I think that if this is the first time you've felt any withdrawal I would stay at this level. But then maybe make a smaller cut next time...to see if you can avoid any symptoms at all.

 

Others might have better advice too. I suspect they'll be piping in soon.

[Dooter]

Thank you!

 

Oh, that's a relief - perhaps that would be best then, to just find a GP to prescribe me the Lexapro. I've been meaning to find a GP anyways, just because I should have a general doctor - I just have been procrastinating about it forever - yeah, that's one of a whole bunch of things that Lexapro has made me good at - procrastinating! Ugh!

 

Yes, I came out of the gate a little strong with the reduction of the Lexapro, I plan on making the next cut (whenever that may be) at 10%, although I'm thinking perhaps I should go even more conservatively - with a 5% reduction.

[peggy]

Hi Dooter and Welcome!

 

Please find a GP to continue prescribing the lexapro. You would not have to even go into your plans to withdraw immediately with him/her - just to tell them you were currently on lexapro should be fine to have them continue prescribing.

 

I concur with Gia - hold at 10.2 until you no longer have any symptoms - if they resolve fairly quickly you could probably take another 10% cut. I try to make sure that i have at least 2 weeks without any symptoms before i cut again.

[Dooter]

Hi Peggy!

 

Thank you for the advice (and thank you GiaK, too!) - I will make it a priority to find a GP then. That is a good plan - to not go into all the detail of my taper. I didn't even consider any of this before I posted my intro here, so this is all big a relief. I thought my only options at this point were an overseas pharmacy or try yet AGAIN another psychiatrist. That was causing me a bit of anxiety, so I am relieved about that!

 

I am so happy I found this forum - for once I have found people that truly understand the hell of A/D's, let alone the hell of attempting to come off of them. Anyone I've ever tried to talk to about it (friends, family, doctors) all think I'm being overly-dramatic about it all.

 

I feel so guilty for continuing to take the Lexapro while pregnant with my daughter. She came out just fine, thank goodness, but she actually went thru - what I believe was - a sort of "baby discontinuation" about a week after she was born, up until she was a few months old. It makes me want to weep with guilt.

 

I didn't realize what it was when it was happening with her - everyone (including myself) just believed she was colicky. It wasn't until a few months after I had her, when I attempted to discontinue Lexapro myself cold-turkey and felt it for myself, when I realized that while she *might* have in fact been colicky, it was reasonable to believe that the drug was in HER system too when I was carrying her, and she pretty much cold-turkey'd it as soon as she was born. *shivers*

[GiaK]

I'm sorry Dooter...must have been really painful to realize that about your baby...

 

there have been reports on withdrawal in infants, so I'm sure you're right. The tragic thing is most MDs don't understand or expect it so mothers are not given adequate information to make informed choices.

 

Glad your daughter is healthy now.

[basildev]

Hi Dooter,

 

welcome to the forum.

 

Your story pretty much mirrors mine in a LOT of ways.

 

So I wanted to let you know that I'm doing my taper without the support of any doctor, psychiatrist or any other professional (other than to get the script for my medication). I rely solely on the wonderful people and information from this site and I'm doing pretty well with that.

 

In the past when I suffered the debilitating WD symptoms I felt completely alone and lost. Doctors eyes just glazed over if I tried to explain my WD symptoms and I could just see the look in their eyes. It said 'Just stay of the medication and stop being so silly'.

 

So personally, I don't think you need any medical professional to help you with your taper. You just need to listen to your body and go very slowly. There's no rush to get off your meds.

 

Oh, and how great is it to find out that you can make your own liquid? I was so happy to find this site and I couldn't believe how easy it is to do.

 

Anyway good luck:)

[Dooter]

I'm sorry Dooter...must have been really painful to realize that about your baby...

 

there have been reports on withdrawal in infants, so I'm sure you're right. The tragic thing is most MDs don't understand or expect it so mothers are not given adequate information to make informed choices.

 

Glad your daughter is healthy now.

 

Thank you - yes, I feel extremely lucky that all she suffered were the discontinuation symptoms (again, I'm not even certain that the Lexapro was to blame, but I honestly feel in my heart that it really was the culprit). I have read here and there in the last few years that SSRI's are possibly being linked to birth defects in babies. It's just so scary. Its one thing for doctors to be dishonest with their patients about these drugs and the unknowns/knowns that come with them, but its a completely OTHER thing to mess with the health of their unborn child. It makes me absolutely furious.

 

So today the lightheaded-ness seems to be less. I call them "the whooshes", because that's what it feels like! Kind of like an out-of-body experience, kind of whooshing thru myself for a split second, if that makes sense. It isn't bad at all though, and hopefully today is the mark of them getting less and less.

[GiaK]

yes, I know that whooshing sensation very well..it used to start for me within hours if I missed a dose...long before I ever tried to withdraw...it can get magnified really big and ugly if one tapers too quickly...that is best avoided!!

[Jemima]

Welcome, Dooter.

 

Speaking as someone who came off of Lexapro far too fast (from 10 mg. to 0 mg. in three and a half months), please, please take it slower with your taper. I had my last crumb (2.5 mg.) of Lexapro last December 14th and I'm still having some withdrawal symptoms, mostly neuro-emotions and not experiencing pleasure very often, plus food sensitivities.

 

There is no point whatever in getting the drug out of your system as fast as possible. What happens is that the drug (and this applies to all SSRI antidepressants) changes the way the brain functions, killing off some neurons and growing some new ones. Withdrawing from the drug very slowly allows the brain to gradually grow back to normal. Withdrawing too fast results in lots of ups and downs, the "windows and waves pattern" that's discussed under this topic:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

There's nothing at all pleasant about going through this up-and-down pattern. It's unpredictable and the down part can be outright disabling. Without the chemical support of the drug, the brain normalizes in fits and starts, not in an even, linear way.

 

Some SSRIs also come back and bite one on the arse months later, although I'm not sure if this is applicable to Lexapro. There are several people on this forum who've cold-turkeyed off of Effexor, felt fine for a few months, and then had heavy-duty withdrawal set in during the fifth month.

 

For myself, I believe I went into withdrawal when I cut back from 5 mg. to 2.5 mg. of Lexapro, but I was hyperactive and irritable and thought that meant that I still was getting too much of the drug. About two weeks after I was completely off the Lexapro, I crashed very badly and went through about two months of hell followed by months of ups and downs.

 

So please take it slow and easy.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Dooter.

 

I can hardly improve on anything our friendly members have told you above.

 

Lexapro comes in a liquid form; any MD can prescribe this for you.

 

Here is a topic about Lexapro tapering: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tips-for-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

 

To be on the safe side, we suggest tapering at a 10% decrease per month, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

 

If your withdrawal symptoms last more than a few days, it's a sign you've gone too fast, and you might want to updose to the prior stable level for a bit, then taper by a lesser decrement.

[areyouthere]

Any reputable overseas pharmacy would require a a written prescription from a dr. anyway.

[bruno2016]

I would not do an overseas pharmacy. I got very sicck by doing that...

[Skyler]

Any reputable overseas pharmacy would require a a written prescription from a dr. anyway.

 

I would not do an overseas pharmacy. I got very sicck by doing that...

 

Canada is good. I found out how to connect from my pharmacist. I did not need to use the tip myself, but was pleasantly surprised. Also, Alto knows of reputable sites in Canada that you could use. You do need to have a script .

[Dooter]

Thanks Jemima, Altostrata, areyouthere, Zepplin2011 and Schuyler!

 

I have decided that I'm not going to even attempt the overseas pharmacy. I'm going to try to find a GP to prescribe me the Lexapro. It'd be nice if it were truly that simple to get our medication that way without a prescription, but I just don't trust it, and after finding out that a GP will prescribe AD's, that seems like the safest route to go.

 

Fortunately I have about 2 months left of my current prescription left, so I'm not in panic-mode about running out or anything.

 

Jemima, your post really hit home - Yes, I am tapering way too fast. I am going to hold where I am at (10.2 mg/day) for awhile until I am very stable - at least for a couple months, we'll have to see, maybe longer. I feel fine aside from the whooshes, but I now realize that I shouldn't even be feeling those if I were tapering correctly. When I am finally completely stable again, then I'm going to continue the taper *extremely* slowly. Maybe even in 5% decrements. I just don't want to break my nervous system - hopefully I haven't already.

[Skyler]

Thanks Jemima, Altostrata, areyouthere, Zepplin2011 and Schuyler! I have decided that I'm not going to even attempt the overseas pharmacy. I'm going to try to find a GP to prescribe me the Lexapro. It'd be nice if it were truly that simple to get our medication that way without a prescription, but I just don't trust it, and after finding out that a GP will prescribe AD's, that seems like the safest route to go.

You need a prescription for any decent online Canadian pharmacy. In no way were we suggesting a GP can or should be taken out of 'the loop'. We mentioned the option because Canadians charge less for the same drugs, and we thought you were paying out of pocket. Big Pharma ships the drugs to Canada, and we then pay less to re-import them. Talk about a corrupt system. (And if anything, Canada has better quality control than the US.)

 

Speaking of systems.. yours is not broken, and you should continue to improve. I'm on a prolonged hold now and it's helping, albeit more slowly than I'd like.

 

All the best!

[Skyler]

To the staff folk: This time I got the option to edit out the HTML.. sorry for any inconvenience. No attention on the above needed after all.

[Dooter]

You need a prescription for any decent online Canadian pharmacy. In no way were we suggesting a GP can or should be taken out of 'the loop'. We mentioned the option because Canadians charge less for the same drugs, and we thought you were paying out of pocket. Big Pharma ships the drugs to Canada, and we then pay less to re-import them. Talk about a corrupt system. (And if anything, Canada has better quality control than the US.)

 

Speaking of systems.. yours is not broken, and you should continue to improve. I'm on a prolonged hold now and it's helping, albeit more slowly than I'd like.

 

All the best!

 

Oh no, its okay - that's exactly how I was interpreting everyone's advice about the Canadian pharmacies! I didn't think anyone was suggesting I get around the loop of seeing a GP.

 

Yes, corrupt system indeed - on so many levels!

[Altostrata]

Dooter, if your withdrawal symptoms persist, you may wish to updose a bit, to 11mg for example.

[Jemima]

Jemima, your post really hit home - Yes, I am tapering way too fast. I am going to hold where I am at (10.2 mg/day) for awhile until I am very stable - at least for a couple months, we'll have to see, maybe longer. I feel fine aside from the whooshes, but I now realize that I shouldn't even be feeling those if I were tapering correctly. When I am finally completely stable again, then I'm going to continue the taper *extremely* slowly. Maybe even in 5% decrements. I just don't want to break my nervous system - hopefully I haven't already.

 

I'm glad I was able to exert some influence. I liken my own 'taper' to something more like falling downstairs head first and getting concussed, bruised, and scraped in the process. Wish I had known then what I know now!

 

And please do consider Alto's advice to updose just a bit. There's no good reason at all to suffer through withdrawal symptoms, which are basically the body telling us that the nervous system is destabilized.

[Dooter]

Okay, I will take your advice Alta and Jemima, and starting tomorrow I will updose to 11 mg/day.

 

I'm so glad I have you guys! It helps to have an outside perspective on all of this, better yet from people who understand it well.

[Jemima]

I'm so glad you're paying attention! A person who's willing to learn from others' experience is a rare bird indeed. I think you'll do very well with your taper, however long it may be.

[Dooter]

Just popping in to report that I updosed to 11 mg/day, and the whooshes/lightheaded-ness subsided almost immediately. YAY!

 

Now just to hold steady for awhile!