mindbend Through ups and downs without SSRI

[mindbend]

Another professional, this time a therapist, gave the green light for Lexapro. I was told I could start on it immediately again if I wanted to, that they are perfectly safe and helpful.

 

No doctor, therapist, psychiatrist will acknowledge prolonged withdrawal symptoms so I give up the idea of sharing my ordeal with them. Just learning to say 'no thanks'. Some look so puzzled when you refuse their 'help'.

 

Why has it become the normal protocol to be prescribed these meds? Because all of us have a chemical imbalance that actually cannot be tested? Our quality of life is dependent on one small pill a day that we don't even totally understand how it works? The research when it comes to adverse effects is mostly inconclusive, so how come everyone has become such an advocate?

 

A few months ago, there was news of a toddler falling into a pit of wild dogs at the zoo and being ripped apart right in front of his helpless parents. They were apparently put on meds to help deal with the shock. By all means, with a trauma like that, I am glad we have things that can help people, however little the relief may be.

[mindbend]

Update:

 

The lingering anxiety is letting up occasionally. I have been realizing that I am starting to go through different stages of it. Mostly, it is not as intense as it used to be, albeit still present during a good part of the day and more relentless in the mornings. But it doesn't make me feel like I am losing my mind any more. I don't feel that disconnect from the world which was making everything empty and pointless.

 

The anxiety crops up as hypochondria for me. Losing faith in medicine didn't really help matters. For all I know, if it wasn't over health, it would be over something else as I am currently highly tuned into the worry and despair channel. The neurotic emotions that I have been feeling during withdrawal seem to have paved the way to a depressive state, if that makes sense at all. I am trying to find ways to deal with it, I don't want to be scared over my health for a life time and worry endlessly over any little symptom I get to experience. Has anyone found effective ways to deal with it?

 

What is taking longer to recover from is the lack of anticipation of pleasure and joy hence a poor appetite. It is incredible how it literally feels like a switch has been turned off in my brain. I couldn't even enjoy music for a long while and I used to think it would be impossible to live without it. I am starting to notice the melodies a lot more.

 

I have become more functional, I don't feel like crying just having to take a shower but it is not as great as pushing me to go out and enjoy the sales.

 

It could just be the time lapse but I have noticed the most improvements since increasing the EPA DHA ratio and adding B complex vitamins into the mix especially with regards to energy and concentration.

 

One lesson I have learned apart from the dangers of going cold turkey is that you really cannot take too much on whilst withdrawing, even if you initially feel good and positive, anything can tip the scales as going of antidepressants can put you in a very delicate state where any stress can be magnified.

 

Healing hugs to all those needing one xx

[mindbend]

Hey everyone,

 

I wanted to update anyone who may still be suffering or just embarking on their recovery journey that it does get better. I am not talking about life in general because that is something we need to work on each and everyday but the crippling anxiety, the myriad of withdrawal/discontinuation symptoms (whatever you call them, they are real) start to let up after a while. when you are in the middle of your battle, it may look like you are already defeated but the fact is that as you keep going, you are getting close to a place of stability. Once you are out of the battle, you can then choose how to deal with life, struggles and problems. Perhaps we all try to do this at our worst possible state of mind and get discouraged that we are not strong enough, resilient enough or we feel we have already made too many irreparable mistakes. Forget about what you have to do, focus on what you can do because that's the only thing that will open up those windows of peace to you. Trying to find motivation whilst you are feeling down will just get you down further, so don't try, judge, measure, compare, just move along. Remind yourself that you may be in the middle of a heavy storm but just ahead of you is blue skies, walk towards that instead of dwelling on where you are, trying to shelter yourself. This is not your permanent reality, the storm will pass so don't settle where you are, you don't need the weather forecast to tell you when it will be over, only you can see when your clouds are beginning to part.

 

I would have never been able to write these words had I taken the advice of the various doctors who wanted me to start on antidepressants again. My reality now could have been a lot more different, I would be looking at tapering next month instead of celebrating my 6 months since discontinuing. I don't wish the hardships of withdrawal on anyone but for those who are all too familiar with them, know that it is a worthy battle from which you will emerge victorious!

 

Healing hugs to all, always...

[Altostrata]

Good to hear from you, mindbend, with such encouraging news. How have your symptoms changed?

[mindbend]

Thank you Alto, I would like to say I wasn't alone, it was with encouragement I got from here that I started feeling better.

 

I had a very stable 3 weeks in which my appetite turned to normal, sleep became very restful (I even started having good dreams), bathroom habits normalized completely, anxiety started to let up for most of the day, got my energy and concentration back, no longer need naps during the day. Negative emotions are not so intense nor are they predominant, for me this was the last of my symptoms that persisted for the longest time. I don't cry at absolutely everything, feeling more social and dare I say I am gaining my motivation back steadily everyday.

 

One thing I have to say, which i feel was fundamental in my recovery is that I really kept at a regimen for the first time in my life. I started eating extremely balanced meals, gave up sugar, flour, caffeine, soft drinks for good. I am taking fish oils religiously, continuing with daily magnesium and b vitamins as well. I am exercising minimum 3 times a week. I also discovered an all natural complex of vitamins and minerals in something called a calm aid (fushi is the brand), it promotes an unbroken sleep without any drowsiness in the morning, has the same affect on my husband.

 

Even though it felt like the misery would never end, it was the stories of coming on the other side that kept me going, I could only hope that this serves the same purpose for someone in need.

 

P.S. like some have mentioned here, I too am having to keep a watchful eye over my thyroid function, elevated antibodies, it definitely is not inherited from my family, go figure!

 

Hugs xx

[Altostrata]

Excellent. When you feel you can say you're completely recovered, please start a topic in this forum http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/28-recovery-success-stories/ and summarize your recovery success story.