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The Choices You've Made


alexjuice

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I used to see a therapist for CBT and I visited her webpage today. I saw something that provoked my irritation and anger.

 

Now the reason she is a former therapist is that she was not capable of understanding how antidepressants (in particular) could have been so damaging to me. She used to say of my alcohol abuse that I should not blame the antidepressant, even if substance abuse and impulsivity are known side effects, because in the end it was my choice to drink and before that even my choice to take the antidepressant. Her position struck me as ridiculously ignorant.

 

So, when I saw this quote used prominently on her page today

 

“As children, we are the product of others' choices.

As adults, we are the product of the choices we make.”

 

It recalled our primary disagreement and ticked me off. Then I thought it over. Maybe she was right after all. Maybe I should stop blaming my doctor's mistakes, my parent's mistakes, my counselor's mistakes, everyone else's mistakes AND my own mistakes. Instead I should accept my own mistakes and understand all of my present condition is due to the sumof all of choices I made as an adult.

 

After giving consideration to the idea, I wasn't buying it.

 

I don't think it's fair to the truth of my situation.

 

What does the forum think? Has anyone felt better by looking at this situation as a result of their own choices? Has looking at the plight in that light made it easier to accept present health issues?

 

Or do you share my first reaction, that this situation is not comparable to typical life choices like choosing a relationship or a career or making a major purchase and then living with the result...

 

I am really struggling lately. It's also a new year and I really need to have a better year. Most of the time I can not believe how my life has unfolded and I don't know the best, healthiest way to go forward.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Alex,

 

I'm really sorry you're struggling.

 

I suppose she's right in that we have all made choices that bring us to where we are today. But I think to some degree we make the choices that are right for us at the time and so yes, we do need to take responsibility for that but by the same token we have to be careful of beating ourselves up about it.

 

I've made some pretty crappy choices over the years...but then again I've made some good ones too.

 

It's the old Buddhist perspective - we need both wisdom AND compassion. The compassion (for ourselves) helps us to be kind to ourselves for our past mistakes (without succumbing to victim mentality) and the wisdom helps us make better choices in the future.

 

You've been a great help to me on this forum with your words of wisdom.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

July 2001 prescribed 20mg citalopram for depression;
On and off meds from 2003-2006.
February 2006 back on 20mg citalopram and stayed on it until my last attempt at tapering in September 2011.
By far the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Reinstated to 20mg citalopram
October 2012 - found this forum!
Nov 2012 to Feb 2013 did 10% taper, got doen to 11mg - was going great until stressful situation. Cortisol levels hit the roof, hideous insomnia forced me to updose to 20mg.
March 2016 - close to 100% back to normal!



****** I am not a medical practitioner, any advice I give comes from my own experience or reading and is only my perspective ******

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Sometimes it helps me to think of things in terms of paradox...seems to me the deepest truths always involve paradox. So you are right and she is right too...that kind of thing...

 

There are many things that are true and contradictory at the same time...

 

In the same sort of vein, though a somewhat different perspective is my favorite Walt Whitman quote: Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)

 

sending love...I too struggle with this stuff daily.

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope you find some peace and equanimity in the coming year.

 

As I think everyone is suggesting, I personally believe there is an element of duality in the statement.

 

One the one hand, yes. You, and you alone, are responsible for the choices you make. You get dealt a hand -- in your case, in part comprised of the mistakes of others; your doctors, your parents, your counselors, and so on. How you play the hand is up to you.

 

I think the therapist's position is frustrating and crazy-making because it seems to imply a moral judgement, an absolutism in that since you're responsible for the choices you made in response to these events, you're "at fault" for how you feel. That's too simplistic by far. The hand we're dealt inevitably and unavoidably colors and influences our ability to respond in some theoretically optimal way that minimizes our pain and suffering. Even in the best of cases, we operate out of our own fears, doubt, and uncertainty. Add in mood or personality disorders -- which are out of our control -- and our ability to respond in the optimal manner -- to make good choices -- is constrained.

 

So, on the other hand, no. You're not the product of your choices - you're the product of lots of choices, only some of which are under your control.

 

Ultimately, then, the question becomes one of how the therapist chooses to go about treatment. I experienced a situation somewhat like this. I developed plenty of insight into how the choices I had made -- was making -- led to the pain and suffering I was experiencing. My therapist's response was largely "stop doing those things." When I proved unable to do that, despite the insight, she became frustrated and angry and abandoned me. What would have been more compassionate -- and ultimately healing -- would have been to help me dig into and understand what it was that was prompting me to make the choices I did.

 

I feel like I'm rambling somewhat. I guess what I'm trying to say is the validity of the statement -- or its usefulness as the basis for treatment, and as a vehicle for change -- is dependent on how she goes about exploiting that reality. The first is moralistic, implying if only you made better choices you'd be happier. I think that's a path to frustration and failed therapy. Accepting the truth of the statement, while helping understand and change the underlying reasons for those choices, is far more productive and healing.

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I used to see a therapist for CBT and I visited her webpage today. I saw something that provoked my irritation and anger.

 

Now the reason she is a former therapist is that she was not capable of understanding how antidepressants (in particular) could have been so damaging to me. She used to say of my alcohol abuse that I should not blame the antidepressant, even if substance abuse and impulsivity are known side effects, because in the end it was my choice to drink and before that even my choice to take the antidepressant. Her position struck me as ridiculously ignorant.

 

So, when I saw this quote used prominently on her page today

 

 

“As children, we are the product of others' choices.

As adults, we are the product of the choices we make.”

 

It recalled our primary disagreement and ticked me off. Then I thought it over. Maybe she was right after all. Maybe I should stop blaming my doctor's mistakes, my parent's mistakes, my counselor's mistakes, everyone else's mistakes AND my own mistakes. Instead I should accept my own mistakes and understand all of my present condition is due to the sumof all of choices I made as an adult.

 

After giving consideration to the idea, I wasn't buying it.

 

I don't think it's fair to the truth of my situation.

 

What does the forum think? Has anyone felt better by looking at this situation as a result of their own choices? Has looking at the plight in that light made it easier to accept present health issues?

 

Or do you share my first reaction, that this situation is not comparable to typical life choices like choosing a relationship or a career or making a major purchase and then living with the result...

 

I am really struggling lately. It's also a new year and I really need to have a better year. Most of the time I can not believe how my life has unfolded and I don't know the best, healthiest way to go forward.

 

Alex

 

Hi Alex,

 

As an aside, you always ask great and timely questions.

 

I am dealing with similar type issues as one who feels I have to solve my insomnia problem since it is interfering with finding employment. Of course, I realize the fallacy of that thinking but easier said than done.

 

Anyway, due to feeling that being on psych meds has destroyed my sleep cycle and worsened my apnea which limits my treatment options, I was thinking of the blame issues also. No one in my family demanded that I take psych meds and in fact, my mother, when she was alive, was horrified I was on them and tried to warn me. Even as they were destroying me, I thought they were the eighth wonder of the world.

 

So yes, in a way your therapist is right, I did make the choice to take psych meds. But on other hand, I did try to communicate to my psychiatrist that I felt these drugs weren't doing any good and it didn't matter. I mean, I don't think we should be totally held responsible when the mental health field doesn't give a damm what we think about your treatment and will continue to promote psych meds come heck or high water.

 

I guess I would also make this argument to your therapist. What if someone decides they need to have emergency surgery and suffers adverse affects. I don't think too many people would blame the person for the surgery.

 

In a sense, we have had emergency surgery because my guess is that many of us on the board were told that if we didn't take psych meds, our mental health would deteriorate. So if we suffer adverse affects, it seems pretty cruel to put the total blame on us.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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“As children, we are the product of others' choices.

As adults, we are the product of the choices we make.”

I call bullsh*t on this. It's simplistic, reductionist, and paves the way to victim-blaming (and -shaming).

 

Choices are not made in a vacuum state. They are shaped by social, cultural, economic, and other factors over which we have little or no control.

 

This would make me angry too, Alex. I think you're well rid of this "therapist."

 

Sparrow

2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.
On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.
Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin)

August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg.

January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram

March 2014: One year off benzos

May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram

June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg

Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg

Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope)

March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO

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  • Moderator Emeritus

What Sparrow said! So hurtful and frustrating. You chose to follow a physician's advice and therefore your drug-related and withdrawal-related issues are your fault?!

 

Hugs and better days!

 

1989 - 1992 Parnate* 

1992-1998 Paxil - pooped out*, oxazapam, inderal

1998 - 2005 Celexa - pooped out* klonopin, oxazapam, inderal

*don't remember doses

2005 -2007   Cymbalta 60 mg oxazapam, inderal, klonopin

Started taper in 2007:

CT klonopin, oxazapam, inderal (beta blocker) - 2007

Cymbalta 60mg to 30mg 2007 -2010

July 2010 - March 2018 on hiatus due to worsening w/d symptoms, which abated and finally disappeared. Then I stalled for about 5 years because I didn't want to deal with W/D.

March 2018 - May 2018 switch from 30mg Cymbalta to 20mg Celexa 

19 mg Celexa October 7, 2018

18 mg Celexa November 5, 2018

17 mg Celexa  December 2, 2019

16 mg Celexa January 6, 2018 

15 mg Celexa March 7, 2019

14 mg Celexa April 24, 2019

13 mg Celexa June 28, 2019

12.8 mg Celexa November 10, 2019

12.4 Celexa August 31, 2020

12.2 Celexa December 28, 2020

 

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starlitegirlx

bullsh*t. Choices are limited by a variety of things. Social factors. Economic factors. Information provided which may or may not be accurate. etc.

 

There are more choices I wish I had the option to make than the ones that I'm stuck with due to my life situation which has been influenced by economic factors, health issues, information not provided by doctors who put their head in the sand when it comes to benzos and ADs, and social factors.

 

I would have called that therapist ignorant before I left and never paid for the session if there was an outstanding bill. It's easy for people in better situations to blame the victim. In fact, that's what the majority of them do. Meanwhile people like us are stuck in crap situations. It's like a random lottery really. More related to luck of the draw than to choices. And then when the choices are door #1, door #2 and door #3 and you really don't know what's behind each door because you aren't given some of the most important data, well, those really aren't choices, are they?

 

Ignorant therapists make me sick. So far I've known of half a dozen that are ignorant and do crap to help their patients. Either my experience or seeing others go to them and end up worse for it or certainly not better. Turns out they are inherently flawed in that they see the world through their personal lens and then impose that on their patients. Unless a therapist can remove all their beliefs about everything, they are always going to be inherently flawed people doling out advice based on their beliefs about things, some of which can be rather ignorant or just plain screwy.

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to be clear...the therapist would have pissed me off too! I refuse to subject myself to any professionals who don't understand the nuances of the psyche!

 

I was entertaining the philosophical issues you brought up...but the real world would demand getting the heck away from that woman :)

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

“As children, we are the product of others' choices.

As adults, we are the product of the choices we make.”

I call bullsh*t on this. It's simplistic, reductionist, and paves the way to victim-blaming (and -shaming).

 

Choices are not made in a vacuum state. They are shaped by social, cultural, economic, and other factors over which we have little or no control.

 

This would make me angry too, Alex. I think you're well rid of this "therapist."

 

Sparrow

 

I couldn't have said it better, and anyone who thinks a human being is somehow a product of choices has no business being a therapist. The implication is that anyone who made the same choices would turn out to be like every other human being who made those choices, as if people are created like something on an assembly line. How absurd.

 

While we have some responsibility for the choices we make, we can't be held responsible for the consequences. It just isn't possible for a human being to foresee the results of a choice, which are often far-reaching, especially while living in a world that's full of deceit, lies, and misinformation.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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Barbarannamated

Alex,

 

"Or do you share my first reaction, that this situation is not comparable to typical life choices like choosing a relationship or a career or making a major purchase and then living with the result..."

 

I agree with all that's been said by others. Additionally, taking psych drugs under the advice of medical experts has NO parallels to choosing relationships, careers, etc. I can't think of anything else that compares to this situation. It's the continued denial by most medical professionals and society, in general, that is maddening for me.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Now the reason she is a former therapist is that she was not capable of understanding how antidepressants (in particular) could have been so damaging to me. She used to say of my alcohol abuse that I should not blame the antidepressant, even if substance abuse and impulsivity are known side effects, because in the end it was my choice to drink and before that even my choice to take the antidepressant. Her position struck me as ridiculously ignorant.

 

Alex

 

I was on Effexor when my drinking got totally out of control. After a couple of years in recovery I became aware of the link between antidepressants in general, effexor in particular, and substance abuse. I see the AD as a factor in my addiction, but not the only one. In my case, once i got sober I cold see how addiction had been working in my life long before I ever took an antidepressant. Being a recovering Addict is one of the few things in my life that I can accept.

 

 

What does the forum think? Has anyone felt better by looking at this situation as a result of their own choices? Has looking at the plight in that light made it easier to accept present health issues?

 

Alex

 

Being a recovering Addict is one of the few things in my life that I can accept. I believe this has served me well.

 

Regarding ADs, I was following doctors orders and told that taking ADs was the only responsible course of action. I was even educating myself about depression and ADS; of course I didn't realize that the 'science' was bogus.

 

 

I am really struggling lately. It's also a new year and I really need to have a better year. Most of the time I can not believe how my life has unfolded and I don't know the best, healthiest way to go forward.

 

Alex

 

 

I am in the exact same place.

15+ years on various ADs and combos. Spent 3 yrs tapering (off & on ) off 225mg Effexor venlafaxine) XR & Remeron (mirtazapine). Finished tapering Oct 2014.

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  • Administrator

It's only realistic to look for causes, that's not "being a victim." There's an important difference between righteous outrage and "being a victim."

 

Lastly, when wrong is being done, there really are victims!

 

One can fire a therapist or other health provider merely because the person is annoying.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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starlitegirlx

Alto is right.

 

None of us are here out of choice. Had we seen this future for ourselves and been warned of it, we would not have taken the meds. In many cases we were bullied into taking them not via direct bullying but emotional and guilt bullying - take them or you will be sick or you will have lots of problems. Then there were the lies - this klonopin is very safe. It's the safest out there (how many times more potent than valium? And that makes it SAFER? what crack pipe did they all smoke? seriously!).

 

Lastly, the choice to need the meds in the first place was never there. We did not choose (at least not in this realm and remember it if you happen to believe we came here to learn and experience things or something along those lines) the health issues that caused us to end up on these meds.

 

So as far as someone talking choice regarding any of this, they need to STFU. Truly. I did not choose the depression. I did not choose to have a low tolerance for stress. I don't call myself bipolar because I think it's just made up for billing purposes and that bipolar actually describes the ebb and flow of moods that come from life and what it brings. But that's my opinion based on my experience.

 

Far too many people lack understanding about these matters. And lastly, it's a pretty F'd up world when Tom Cruise faces off against Matt Lauer about mental health, psychiatry and psychiatric drugs and turns out to be absolutely right though most people have been too brainwashed to know that he is. They are all indoctrinated to drugs being the good guys particularly with psychiatry but they're comparing them to physical lobotomies so to them it looks like advancement. To us, it's now a chemical labotomy from which we have a better chance of recovery but still dangerous as all hell and too many think it's good. Still the dark ages, only a big pharma version of it.

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Alto is right.

 

And lastly, it's a pretty F'd up world when Tom Cruise faces off against Matt Lauer about mental health, psychiatry and psychiatric drugs and turns out to be absolutely right though most people have been too brainwashed to know that he is.

 

Thanks,

I needed the laugh!

15+ years on various ADs and combos. Spent 3 yrs tapering (off & on ) off 225mg Effexor venlafaxine) XR & Remeron (mirtazapine). Finished tapering Oct 2014.

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Barbarannamated

I agree completely about Cruise v Lauer although i didn't at the time. Unfortunately, when anyone speaks out against psychiatry now, they are accused or assumed to have ties to Scientology and immediately dismissed as cultish. It's a convenient way to invalidate valid info.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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starlitegirlx

I agree completely about Cruise v Lauer although i didn't at the time. Unfortunately, when anyone speaks out against psychiatry now, they are accused or assumed to have ties to Scientology and immediately dismissed as cultish. It's a convenient way to invalidate valid info.

 

I didn't at the time either because I was part of the doped and indoctrinated. I think I want to trademark that saying. "Doped and/or Indoctrinated". And then a version that says, NOT Doped. Not Indoctrinated.

 

What do ya think?

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I was thinking some more about this situation.

 

My entry into psych med h-ll started when I was tested for ADHD through a state voc rehab program. As part of the test, I was given a test dose of Ritalin prior to taking a boring computerized test.

 

When taking that drug caused me to complete tasks I hadn't gotten done in years and to have a focus that I could only dream of, of course, I wanted more of the med. Interestingly, the psychiatrist did not think my concentration had improved that much on the computer test and initially didn't want to prescribe the med. But I talked him into it.

 

Unfortunately, I ended up suffering depression from being on Ritalin which then led to Antidepressants which then led to adverse effect h-ll which led to more meds and the viscous cycle continued for 15 years. So in a way, I do feel responsible for my predicament as I will always wonder if I had not taken the Ritalin if I would have stayed away from psych meds.

 

Then again, the therapist that I worked with during that time probably would have greatly influenced me to see a psychiatrist for medication management and I would have had a hard time resisting. So it is hard to to say.

 

I know 2nd guessing is not productive but it is hard not to do it when I feel that something like psych meds has been such a life destroyer.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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  • 3 months later...

hi,i'm really struggling at the moment.

 

i have Tardive Dystonia,Tardive Dyskinesia & restless legs syndrome. caused by co prescriptions of Stemitil & Seroxat - i have this written in 2 reports. my gp prescribed Amitriptyline for Neuropathic pain- i expressed concern because of it being a AD (had lots of probs with other AD).

 

i had a bad reaction to another Tricyclic AD. the dr wrote the prescription up wrong - instructed me to take it a.m ,felt un well on my way to work,collapsed & ended up in hospital.they said i shouldnt have a tricyclic with my heart condition. here i am on one again!

 

i feel so stupid,cross with myself. my dr persuaded me it was fine even when i reminded her of the report & the content of certain points. no mention of withdrawl effects,why didn't i think of it myself before i started taking them??gp says i need to come off it because of my heart problem.(having horrible withdrawl). she is now saying it's NOT a AD. dr's will lie to cover themselves.

 

in the past she's prescribed things,medicine's have been delivered & i've rang her expressing concern. she got in a flap telling me not to take it & told me to question her if i'm un sure about what she gives to me.

 

i did that with this but she didn't listen,i feel so upset with myself for being persuaded. made worse by her lying about it not being a AD. when i tried to talk to her about withdrawl she said she thought most of it was psych. in other words its in your mind.

 

i remember many years (different AD drug)ago feeling as though ants were crawling all over me & my psych asking me if i had any other "funny" symptoms,i was too scared to say i thought insects were all over me,i thought i'd be locked away because i'd look down expecting to brush them off & nothing was there. now i know better,there was so little information around at that time.i know this is real.

 

i understand they worry about being sued,but i'd cope better if she'd said i'm sorry & i believe you.

no one wants to be in the position of having cause to sue,i can do without the distress but to be repeating the same mistakes leaves me at a loss of what to make of the whole situation.

 

i've been feeling so low,not wanting to be here. don't know if thats situation or withdrawl.

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I was thinking some more about this situation.

 

My entry into psych med h-ll started when I was tested for ADHD through a state voc rehab program. As part of the test, I was given a test dose of Ritalin prior to taking a boring computerized test.

 

When taking that drug caused me to complete tasks I hadn't gotten done in years and to have a focus that I could only dream of, of course, I wanted more of the med. Interestingly, the psychiatrist did not think my concentration had improved that much on the computer test and initially didn't want to prescribe the med. But I talked him into it.

 

Unfortunately, I ended up suffering depression from being on Ritalin which then led to Antidepressants which then led to adverse effect h-ll which led to more meds and the viscous cycle continued for 15 years. So in a way, I do feel responsible for my predicament as I will always wonder if I had not taken the Ritalin if I would have stayed away from psych meds.

 

Then again, the therapist that I worked with during that time probably would have greatly influenced me to see a psychiatrist for medication management and I would have had a hard time resisting. So it is hard to to say.

 

I know 2nd guessing is not productive but it is hard not to do it when I feel that something like psych meds has been such a life destroyer.

 

CS

 

I completely understand your feelings, CS! Probably, many others do, as well. I didn't take the meds very long but it didn't make DCing any easier. It almost feels like a trap that I allowed myself to get into. :(

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Decissions about abusing things like alcohol and street drugs, are a choice very much the sole responsibility of the individual. This is not the same as making an informed dicision. For example, when the "expert" doing the informing is a Dr., the Dr., wether an expert or not-is putting himself forward as an expert, and so must take most of the blame when things go badly.

Sept 12th 1992-began taking Imipramine (50mgs) for panic attacks.

Stopped Imipramine after 4 months (cold turkey).

7 months later experienced "mysterious" bad flu-like symptoms, although, without upper respiratory problems or fever. Because of this and a day of panic attacks, was put on Prozac (20mgs?) for 2 months and then, when that didn't work-was put back on  Imipramine,  plus Xanax 1 mg (4Xdaily)-October 1993.

March 1999-switched from Imipramine (50mgs) to Celexa.

2008-switched to Pristiq for 3 months, then back to Effexor XR (after bad reaction to the Pristiq).

Sept 1st 2010-Switched from Effexor XR (75mgs) to Effexor Generic (solid form) in preparation for taper.

Nov 15th 2010-Began tapering from 75mgs Effexor Generic.

January 13th 2014-.06mgs

April 17th 2014-      .03mgs

May 11th 2014-       .02mgs

Ended taper October 31st 2014

Oct 4th 2015-11 months post taper and completely back to normal!

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