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How to tell the difference between WD & Events


Nikki
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Hi guys....

 

I know I am hypersensitive. Always was. Anxiety runs in my family.

 

I had an "Aha" moment this morning while journaling.

 

I posted this on another thread earlier.

 

For me it seems the definition of insanity (anxiety) is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

I am learning (slowly) that I may have misjudged anxiety as being from a drug or WD issues when in fact it is my reaction to stress, fear, worry ~ and ~ more importantly, not addressing important issue right away (running away until it gets so big it becomes urgent).

 

I think I need to be very much aware of this. In doing so, I might be able to recognize or reduce my fear about WD or not to blame ad's, and look at what I am NOT doing to keep my life moving along alot smoother.

 

Journaling is a good tool for me. I have not been going to Al-Anon meetings due to work schedule and I see it is affecting me as well.

 

What I am doing now that is stepping up to the plate is dieting and sticking to it.

 

Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Lovely revelation there.

 

I think we tend to create more fear and dread with our concerns over WD and issues related to it. I find it immensely helpful to just let it all go. It's very buddhist in practice, but the best approach I know of to date for all things in life. I aim to not dwell on anything and not look for things that can cause fear. I even ignore ones that can.

 

I've had people telling me to hold stable for more months before reducing K. I've had them telling me to do much smaller tapers. I understand the logic in that and that it's a very cautious approach, but it is also based in fear of things going wrong, and somewhere in that is the fear that things will go so wrong that it would hinder or halt or reverse my recovery. Not that people are saying this, because they aren't, but it feels like it's the between the lines component. And yet, I went through this horrible cycle of fear that I would never get better or not for a really long time. This wasn't that many months ago. In fact, it might have been just two or three. Yet, I let go of that fear and just let life run its course not concerning myself with anything but making the best of each day while not letting whatever happens during the day (like if it were a worse day) get more power and create more fear. This has served me well. Simply put, I don't expect it easy nor do I expect it hard. I expect it to be as it will be. I will get through it as I have before. We will all get through it as we have before.

 

My relatively new practice is to not cave to fear, to not let it guide me in any way as whenever I have, it has led me to much more suffering. And whenever I have not, I have fared far better than during times of catering to fear. These days for me, being too cautious is also a form of fear. Normal caution is healthy, but too much caution indicates fear.

 

Fear is one of the most destructive forces in the world. Much harm has been done due to fear - to people, to society, to the world, past and present. Letting a harmful and destructive force such as fear guide you in any way is then not helpful. Realizing that fear is just a feeling and facing it gives you power over it. Facing what you fear, what causes you anxiety, cripples it. Yes, you may have to face it many times in many forms, but the more you do, the less power it holds over you.

 

I've read many posts on this forum, and we all have a multitude of fears. Putting aside that fear increases anxiety and that likely hinders recovery particularly due to stress, the fear itself can easily mimic WD symptoms but be entirely unrelated to them. In some cases, it may be related to them or part of them, but in many cases it may not. Often it becomes a 'which came first, the chicken or the egg' debate. The only logical out is to realize that even if it is WD related, it is still doing you no good. Doing your best to not let it take control over you by accepting that you have this fear can help you immensely.

 

I have moments of fear and even times of fear. I face and accept them but then I remember all the times I got through things in the past that I feared and then there's that moment of 'this too shall pass' where I let go of the fear. As a result, I cater to fear less and less, and I believe a byproduct of that has been a better recovery.

 

Anxiety is a form of fear. Do not let it guide you. Let it go and do your best to choose to not cater to it. Don't tighten in resistance against it. (this comes from my experience with it post assault and during PTSD). Sit with it. Explore it. Feel the sensation without attachment to it. Just feel it, what it feels like. Come to know it. Don't run from it. Don't push against it. Be with it like a peaceful warrior up against a most worthy foe. Free your thinking. Don't think at all about anything but what it feels like. The sensations. Do this a little every time you experience it and you will discover it is just a sensation. We create all these terrifying thoughts over a body sensation. Come to know the sensation and it reduces its power. When I get anxiety now, I for the most part feel it as a sensation. I don't feel it as an emotion. It passes and happen with less frequency. Like a window wane cycle of healing, more and longer windows with some short wanes mixed into it. It's not always easy to do this and even at times I am overcome by fear, but as a rule, I've gotten much better at not letting it take control over me. When I've let it, it has ruined days and even weeks of my life. When I haven't, I've found peace.

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My God SG ~ you are such a wise person. I think I will add this to my reads when consumed.

 

Thank you so much. I hope our other friends read your post. WOW :)

 

When I come home from work, I am going to read it again, maybe print it and keep it in my purse.

 

Many thanks

 

Nikki

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Share on other sites

Be well sweet Nikki. I hope it helps you as much as you need and more.

 

Sometimes it's not even the fear, but the fear of the fear/anxiety or perhaps the unknown. Face that, accept it, own it and life gets immeasurably easier.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Fabulous post, Starlitegirlx. It did me a lot of good, too. I copied it to Word and saved it for future reference.

 

I'm just now grappling with the idea of living in the Now, observing my feelings and thoughts rather than reacting to them, and taking things as they come. It's hard, but if I succeed that would make this whole rotten trip through withdrawal worthwhile in the end.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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