Obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD: Repetitive intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors

[Liquid]

STUCK THOUGHT PATTERNS

 

I developed this issue while taking Citalopram. It started with an irrational thought that caused anxiety and I couldnt figure it out. I had a difficult time dismissing it.

This happened again, but to a worsened degree during withdrawals. I was having rumination over the anxiety and I wanted it to stop. I then read that the more you want a thought to go away, the more present it becomes.. So I tries to stop teying to get rid of these thoughts and got stuck in this thought pattern. Now I cant stop thinking about how Im trying to stop myself from trying to stop thinking. Its insane and feels like my thoughts are stuck on a highway.

I reinstated 10mg Citalopram yesterday and my thoughts became unstuck and I could dismiss tgem again, magically.

Now Im stuck again today and experiencing withdrawals. Is it possible that this is all chemical? Anyone ever heard of this?

Edited May 3, 2016 by KarenB
Added title to retain subject after merging smiliar topics

[Junglechicken]

Oh yes, I am a stuck record in my thoughts and I think others can relate as well.

[Liquid]

What are you supposed to do about it? Is this just a withdrawal symptom?

[SquirrellyGirl]

Yes, it is a withdrawal symptom that has been recognized on SA for quite some time.  Presumably chemical in nature due to the up-dose magically stopping it.  Fascinating!  One could look at it as another symptom that perhaps a taper has gone too fast, that a good hold may be in order or reducing the percentage being cut.  Some have found doing 5% every two weeks rather than 10% once a month to be more tolerable.  I have found this to be so with my mirtazapine taper.

 

So you reinstated 10 mg yesterday and got unstuck, but 10 mg today didn't keep you unstuck?

 

SG

[Liquid]

I havent taken todays dose yet because Im trying to take it at the same time everyday. But no, today my mind feels stuck again and it is driving me mad.

 

Im not sure if its maybe because it isnt stable in my blood yet, but I dont know.

[SquirrellyGirl]

I havent taken todays dose yet because Im trying to take it at the same time everyday. But no, today my mind feels stuck again and it is driving me mad.

 

Im not sure if its maybe because it isnt stable in my blood yet, but I dont know.

 

It takes four days for it to reach a steady level in the blood so it could take a bit longer than that to show its full effects.  Let us know how you feel after today's dose.

 

SG

[Pepita]

Hi Liquid, 

I have also responded to you in your personal thread as I know these obsessive thoughts very well myself. I have never had them prior to taking the drug, neither while I was on them. They only came while tapering and even much stronger after stopping them completely.

 

I know that they are very hard to deal with. Maybe harder than physical symptoms. With a physical symptom you still have the chance of staying calm easier and telling yourself that this is only due to withdrawal. Everything mental, specially obsessive thinking makes it almost impossible to focus and I often feel like I have to "run with a broken leg". Since my WD started I had periods of intense obsessive thinking. Then they magically vanished. Then returned after 2 months. So I know that this is a typical windows/waves situation of WD - and so is yours for sure. 

Think about it: If you never had these obsessive thoughts (no matter what other mental issues were present), why should you suddenly develop them? 
And with the intake of ADs it is sort of a given that they are the cause for them. 

 

What really helps me is regular mindfulness meditation and a programm for "observing your thoughts" - I have posted both links in your personal thread. Of course it doesn´t eliminate every thought, but it helps a lot to not get too crazy with them. 

 

What also does a good job for me is when I talk to myself as if I would be talking to another person that I want to calm down. So I tell myself: 
"Don´t worry. I know this is terrible for you and you are going through hell right now! But think about the big picture: You are doing this so you can be healthy and drug free for the rest of your life! I know these tricks your mind is playing on you right now are almost unbearable. But it will past. This is only chemicals in your brain, and you  know it. You forget it, because your mind is intoxicated. You are being sort on a bad trip. This will pass. Try to be patient"... 

 

and so on and so forth. 

Sometimes it helps me more when I write it down instead of telling myself loudly. 

 

I guess what´s also very important is to tell yourself that it is impossible to suddenly manage all your symptoms. This is a process of learning and it is a hard school. I know how frustrating it is and I am a very impatient person:) I expect that when I sit down and meditate, EVERYTHING will be heavenly afterwards, I will be smiling and happy and calm. Well, sometimes I am, but certainly not always and learning how to deal with this craziness takes time to learn. 

Do you have people to talk to? 
People you can call any time of the day? 

I find it also helpful to be around close friends or family when I am obsessed with thoughts because talking about something else can distract you. 
 

If you just hang around alone with all your thoughts and you have not learnt yet how to cope with them it´s a lot harder. 

Hope my words help a little!
I wish you all the best, let me know how you are, 
Pepita

[Help777]

 

 

Have you looked into brain "rewiring"--- I know that UCLA has a cutting-edge program for treating OCD and addictions through neuroplasticity retraining.   They are doing a lot of research into this field.   Have you read "The Brain That Changes Itself"? and other books on the phenomenon?  It seems to offer a lot of hope for a brain with these types of mal-functiioning.  Dr Timothy Fong is heading up a research program --- Just want to help you in getting yourself well again.

 

That's pretty interesting, thanks for letting me know! I'm gonna look into that treatment program cause I live in LA area.

 

 

How has it changed over time... i don't see a history for you so I cannot comment on it... I am curious what you did till it passed what did you find helpful?

 

The compulsions to kill did not last long after being triggered, they'd just appear, last for a few mins and go away, although they would be frequent at times and caused quite a bit of distress. Other types of obsessions and compulsions were a lot worse than these... with those, nothing would help... just had to endure the torture for hours or days or weeks. Over the months and years my OCD keeps changing. The bloody images and compulsions to kill went away by themselves with time, and showed up at other times. I have a feeling my OCD might have gotten better in the last 2 weeks for some reason... I could be wrong though. For many years now I've avoided OCD triggers, and that has greatly reduced my torment. I also feel like I might have accepted some obsessions as a norm now... like organizing my computer files for hours at times. I wonder if being on 26mg Citalopram for several years now kinda stabilized me when it comes to OCD. I hardly ever get strong obsessions anymore.

Thinking about this now, I think I want to try driving again. I haven't drove since 2009 when driving OCD became severe... always feeling like I've run someone over or crashed into a car.

A bigger problem now is the social anxiety... quite crippling... almost as bad as before SSRI's.

I found it was exactly the same... when I was on zoloft I had these urges to drive the car into a cement divider and die... out of the blue that would hit my head then just fade away... in pooped out worse things came.. yes worse they were drug induced nonsense that nobody needs in there head so I am not sharing them ... I am the circuit breaker and they die right here with me. They should never have been and are dead and buried now.

 In wd and later stages of pooped out had much more strength than the fleeting zoloft ones. Came a lot more often stayed much longer. 

 

At the time I did not understand this was all drug induced and madness was breaking down my door... I kept trying to take the next fix pill and everyone made me sick or worse... I did that awhile till I was spent and just laying in bed waiting to die... when I got that vision or hallucination from God or Mom to stop taking pills or lay there and die. And I listened and quit it all cold turkey... I don't recommend it.

 

I had a true battle with this OCD crap but it was more than OCD or unwanted thoughts or images... sometimes it was like I was living something else... halucinations or psychoitc I just slipped into a freaked out state for no apparent reason... they all passed. 

 

All of it passed ... not to take anything away from how difficult it was but I did something like this before years ago wding from prozac actually it was a server adverse reaction but I did not know that then... nobody knew a thing about it.  So I had some experience with insanity it was what I was trying to avoid by taking pills for 18 years.... I thought it was back. I still did not know what was really happening I did not know it was the drugs. 

 

After finding pp and learning so much... I figured it out... drugs- reactions, wd pooped out, withdrawal.... long wd ...sometimes  cause our brains to malfunction... it was the drug bottom line... 

Somebody on that site suggested saying to self ...when the thoughts come to acknowledge it but call it what it is... 

Effexor thought.... 

Withdrawal thought

Pooped out thought.... 

 

Really that is what they are... drug induced chemical soup stirred up by a drug or other disturnance or body trying to heal and missing a cog here and there. 

 

I like the idea of associating something nice with it to eventually take the power away from it... but I don't think I could do it not all in my mind I needed something concrete I think. I never tried...and succeeded at doing it all in my head... when a group leader try to teach me this once i said to her if I had enough control to do all that I would not be there.   I have tried saying oh effexor thought my system is out of whack just now... listen to a relaxation vidoe or put on the ocean cd - heat up the heat pack in the microwave and lay down listen to the ocean... I spent countless hours listening to the ocean and it worked. In time I found other things I did not see it as distraction so much as healing but have used distraction in different ways too both have there place in this I think. 

peace all

How long did these intrusive ocd tendencies last? I think my angry cleaning obsessions and wanting to die is like this ocd tendencies.

[Susanne]

Glad to have found this topic. I'm on a Dutch forum about OCD but it's not that active. The people who do post there are friendly, but there's not much information to be found on withdrawal or how withdrawal effects your existing OCD.

I think escitalopram (and fluvoxamine) made my intrusion go away. I tried to deal with it for four years. Hypnotherapy, St. John's Wort, acupuncture (which only made me calmer), chinese herbs (tasted bad...) and later on CBT. I was getting desperate so I tried an SSRI (my therapist recommended this in combination with Acceptance& Commitment Therapy). It worked so well for me with limited side effects! Didn't understand why I didn't try these meds earlier!

I obsess about a thought in my head. It doesn't go away. I keep pushing it away or react to it with negative emotions. I tried to let it be. Tried meditating but can't clear my head. Tried mindfulness, but expected too much. Instead of accepting the thought I took those pills and the thought went away. 

Now that I'm tapering I have mood swings. And taking pills doesn't make the thought go away anymore. I do think the withdrawal makes the thought less easy to cope with. I can't tolerate it like I used to. And no improvement. I think about it all day.

Well, just have to be patient I guess.

[gn11]

Glad to have found this topic. I'm on a Dutch forum about OCD but it's not that active. The people who do post there are friendly, but there's not much information to be found on withdrawal or how withdrawal effects your existing OCD.

 

I think escitalopram (and fluvoxamine) made my intrusion go away. I tried to deal with it for four years. Hypnotherapy, St. John's Wort, acupuncture (which only made me calmer), chinese herbs (tasted bad...) and later on CBT. I was getting desperate so I tried an SSRI (my therapist recommended this in combination with Acceptance& Commitment Therapy). It worked so well for me with limited side effects! Didn't understand why I didn't try these meds earlier!

 

I obsess about a thought in my head. It doesn't go away. I keep pushing it away or react to it with negative emotions. I tried to let it be. Tried meditating but can't clear my head. Tried mindfulness, but expected too much. Instead of accepting the thought I took those pills and the thought went away. 

 

Now that I'm tapering I have mood swings. And taking pills doesn't make the thought go away anymore. I do think the withdrawal makes the thought less easy to cope with. I can't tolerate it like I used to. And no improvement. I think about it all day.

 

Well, just have to be patient I guess.

I have a lot of experience with meditation. It really takes time to develop the ability to sit with the thoughts before you can accept them. I will  suggest  meditation  for short periods of time such as 15-20 minutes now that you are feeling better. This will help you develop the capacity to sit longer and to hold the space for whatever arises.

[Susanne]

Thanks Gn!

With mindfulness meditation I try to do what the guiding voice says (I have books cd's, an app on my phone). Everything that comes to mind is okay. You don't have to do anything. You don't judge, you just let every thing be. Even the negative or frightening stuff.
If you're familiar with mindfulness you know what I mean. But what I notice is that my obsession is really present during meditation and I'm judging myself during listening.
So I say to myself: "it's okay to have that thought" but at the same time my reaction is negative. Something like: "I don't what that thought" but not in words, but as an emotion. As a response I get frustrated, because I'm judging that I am actually judging myself. 

I think I need to -feel- that it's okay to have a thought. Now I'm just trying to push it away or I think I need to feel better after doing the mindfulness meditation.

Maybe there's another form of meditation better suited for me? I like the guided meditations (for example, seeing a waterfall with leaves falling in the stream), but they don't calm me down at all.

 

[gn11]

I think music can really help...here is relaxing music from youtube...there are others

 

[Susanne]

Thanks, bookmarked it on Youtube for listening later!

I wanted to meditate today, but got stuck at work. When got home I went running and while running for half an our in the woods I repeated an affirmation. Instead of pushing the thought away I consciously thought about the thought and welcomed it.  Maybe I can do this wile meditating....
I'll give meditation a try later today...I'll just have to make room for it! 

[Henk1980]

Hi all, 

 

here are my experiences.

 

I have been diagnosed with OCD. I think this may be correct. However, prior to the age of 34 (when I had a psychosis and all that this entailed) it did not effect me. At least, I personally did not think it bothered me. I obsessed a lot about work, but never felt ill. Moreover, to some extent my obsessive nature helped me perform my studies and job at a high level (now I also think it has hampered me, and of course it also has its downsides).

 

The real trouble started when I had a psychosis and depression after that. I obsessed about my illness, and as a consequence recovered very slowly and was prescribed a lot of medication. I felt terrible.

 

At this moment, I am doing quite well. The trick? My obsessions are directed at work again . Sometimes, I think our psyche does not need  to be healed (or can be healed). You just need to find a routine that works for you. I need to focus my obsessions at things I can control (work, studies, etc.). If I do that, I feel good. However, if I obsess about (mental) illness, I collapse. 

[Susanne]

Hoi Henk, precies wat mijn huisarts zei: obsessief denken kan ook in je voordeel werken. In mijn geval: ik heb een soort mentale gedachte tic maar ik weet ook dat ik als persoon heel bevlogen aan iets kan werken.

 

Anyway, in English...my ocd'ish thinking is frustrating me today. Plus I'm irratable to my stepchildren. Expecting a lot from myself and no patience. I'm obsessing over the possibility of recovery and not getting why and old 'program' in my head as been activated when I relapsed suddenly. Feeling dizzy and irritable today is coming from withdrawal, I guess. This is my fourth day on 5 mg Lexapro.

[anonymous4317]

Thanks for bumping this thread.

 

As for the other... I don't watch things that put me on edge I found it a bad idea for a long long long time years I did not watch the news or any crime drama sort of tv ... I prefer not to watch any now.  I cannot stomach it.  Still at times things will hit me the wrong way and start a chain reaction of crap. It makes it difficult to live in the world as there are so many violent shows on ...even abuse of power or any sort of power issues freak me out now...even worse as I see doctors and what I have lived thru as abuse I do... and I do not care ...who see this doctors have power ... giving damaging drugs to people and hurting them for decades is abuse of power. in my mind. 

 

As for the trusting yourself not to do something outward that hurts others... for me this passed in time.. to know I have that in me as part of myself even in a wd or drug induced state is alarming as bf drugs there is no way in hell I would ever ever... think of such things.  After this experience I fear for and from others who may be taking these drugs and act on the effects to hurt others maybe me maybe some I love or maybe strangers and I think we see a lot of it already that is never talked about. Nobody holds the light up and says hey wait a minute that guy who just shot three cops for no reason was taking a drug or was in wd do you think we need to do something about that?  They don't join the dots cause they don't believe us and those who do join the dots are ignored as they are not walking the "party" line politically.  So the only people who listen to them are the collective "WE" here and others like us. 

 

For you personally... I will say this will pass as you heal till then lie low... and don't watch crap... negativity and crime on tv... it is bad enough to have to deal with this without the triggers. 

 

You know the first experience I had with this was in the 90s after I had the prozac hell... I did not have a converter for my tv and I would literally run to the tv to change the channel or turn it off when a scary movie commercial came on... at the time I thought it was just proof I was mad... wide open to poor more drugs into my body. 

 

It is all bs... and as you heal it will fade for me it took a long time... but it did end. 

 

Confidence and trusting yourself and the world after this is done is another story. 

peace to you JD

 

ps I tried the Ted link... did not connect with me.. wish it had been something that would help but nope

 

I avoid all crime shows and news outlets now for the same reasons. I used to love The First 48 and Lifetime movies. When there is CNN or Fox on in public places or I see newspaper headlines, I stay as far away as possible, lol. Drug commercials and reality shows (where producers want drama for ratings purposes) get to me as well. You're right about the negativity of shows and news. The sensationalizing of the news outlets freaks me out. It feels like their intent with excessive scary news reporting is to scare you into watching, to make you experience fear and continue to tune in.

 

I also check the stove, electric water kettle, etc., whenever I leave the house or go to bed. Never worried about things on this level before getting off the poison pill, and I was on it 3 years (not a particularly long time). What's odd is that I didn't feel this way until almost a year off the drug. This is the first year where I have avoided any and all election news whenever possible.

 

There was a comment in the npanth blog where someone mentioned that he imagines a stop sign when the thoughts become unbearable. That helps sometimes for me, and I also spend time in front of the mirror talking to myself about ridiculous things I worry about.

 

Thanks for recommending The Brain's Way of Healing. I'm going to get it! Already got Anatomy of an Epidemic.

 

Wishing you all healing.

[Susanne]

Gathered a lot of info on neuroplasticity today. I could see it work but I have a long way to go. Sometimes that really gets me depressed. I follow a mindfulness program from my therapist but Im still having no succes with actually not resisting and not pushing the thought away.

I decided to give it more time and probably wont feel much improvement soon. Mindful meditation seems to be the key but the only thing Im aware of is that Im trying too hard.

 

I wish there was something I could take to improve my mood or courage.

 

The post from Broken was really helpful by the way. I'll also give the technique Hudgens suggests another try.

I believe they key is in addressing this thought like it is something unimportant.

[Cheryl]

I am so glad I read this thread...so here goes:

 

I know what I consider OCD/obsessive thinking stems from anxiety/childhood trauma.

I was a nail biter which when I stopped it became biting the skin around my fingernails.

Eventually I became a "picker", meaning if I felt any loose dry skin around my fingers, I had to bite it off.

Fast forward to an adult, prior to antidepressants, I discovered cuticle nippers. This helped for a while, unless I was anxious or worried about something.

I would clip and think, clip and think until I was eventually bleeding.

 

Fast forward to antidepressants, the anxiety diminished. Was still "picking" and clipping but not as much.

Now in withdrawal, it has all returned but with greater intensity, more so out of control at times.

Having intrusive thinking due to WD is different as well as the picking. I recognized it prior to finding this thread.

 

Intrusive thoughts combined with cuticle nipping=bad combination.

I am starting to use some grounding techniques to stop the thinking when I recognize it.

I will also be starting therapy again because I never dealt with the original childhood trauma/anxiety.

 

I hate that I was on antidepressants/benzos for over 15 years just to now recognize the fact that the so called professionals I put my trust in never suggested CBT or natural alternatives.

I feel like I lost 15 yrs of my life.

[Susanne]

Hi Cheryl, how are you doing? Do you already know when you're starting therapy?

My understanding or impression of treating OCD, depression or anxiety in the US is to first go on medication and maybe later on, if this isn't working, augment with another drug and then later on, if all medication isn't enough, to try therapy?
It's not like it's really different in the Netherlands though, but the first line of treatment is to see a psychologist and maybe a benzo for sleeping...

I know what you mean, having intrusions while in WD is different; and in my case I can't really be positive about recovery...though it should be possible   When not taking Lexapro I wasn't as stable (OCD kept coming back every few months) but at least I could focus better!

Now a psychotherapist advised me to switch to fluoxetine (Prozac). It's not like he doesn't get my history with medication and it's tempting because maybe it will 'fix' my OCD but that's just a temporary solution. It might be than we can do this with therapy alone, and supported by natural remedies.
 

[Cheryl]

Thank you for responding Susanne!!

I technically don't have OCD. The OCD I am experiencing is a result of antidepressant WD.

As I mentioned, my diagnosis was always anxiety.

 

I have been in therapy before, but it was for other things. I have had EMDR, eye movement desensitization reprocessing.

It's an excellent form of therapy, although therapists have to be trained in it. I just never dealt with my original childhood issues.

I am still currently on my klonopin. I was down to .25 at night prior to WD. Now I'm on 3/4 of the .50 at night and drink chamomile tea.

I am sleeping like a champ. (I was surprised that chamomile was not in the thread on sleeping problems)

 

During the day I take an average of .50, that's it. Now is not the time to do a benzo WD.

I just read my first line and I should clarify that there was no OCD in childhood.

[Cheryl]

...my goal is to eventually get back down to the .25 at night again with the tea.

[Susanne]

Yes, that was what I figured from your last line ;-) I'm sorry that you have been experiencing this as a result of withdrawal.

But isn't skinpicking considered a mental disorder in the obsessions and compulsions spectrum? Like trichotillomania for example.

I would like to try EMDR. It seems like a very simple technique to me, so I don't know what to expect, but I'm hearing people say that it's so effective. Have a few childhood issues myself ;-)

Good to read that you're sleeping like a champ! I have been drinking chamomille the whole weekend, it was the only tea my mother had in her house...it forgot how nice it tasted actually. It was from tea bags though. Would it be better to buy a bag of those dried flowers and draw tea from that?

[Cheryl]

I'll be duscussing my ocd symptoms with my doc next time I see her. One thing for sure is the anxiety is quite prevalent. When I'm feeling it, I react.

 

If you find someone trained in EMDR, I'd go for it. I would read up on it first. There are a few ways the tecnique is done, but the outcome is the same. It only takes one session to change a single negative experience, at least that's how it went for me.

 

I think either tea would work. I use tea bags. Mine have a mix of mint and a couple other things that just give it flavor.

[Susanne]

Hi everyone,

Since last night I have a true intrusive scary thought. I'm not sure if it's from withdrawal. I hope so.
About my taper: I made quite a big drop, from 5 mg Lexapro to 2,5 Lexapro. But this was on the 23rd of July and I feel like I'm in good physical shape. I have mild tinnitus, but no more headaches and yesterday I really had a nice day! 

When the thought came into my head last night I wasn't too impressed by it, but I didn't sleep well and today it wasn't gone. I didn't like the fact that it become worse during my grocery shopping.

It's not so much the content that scares me, though it is something I am disgusted by (something of a sexual nature....)

What makes me so anxious is that it doesn't flow away like all other thoughts. It even blocks my original / usual intrusive thought.

I took two Valerian tablets and I'm on my second cup of strong green tea. I hope this helps.

[RockSie]

Dear Susanne,

 

I really think this is related to withdrawal. It's possible that you have delayed symptoms after quitting the last time in July.

[Susanne]

Hi RockSie, thanks for replying!
I hope it's from WD...I've never had any other intrusive thoughts and certainly not of this sort. I'm very used to my 'old' intrusion. It doesn't scare me anymore. It's just with me all the time.
This new one made me so anxious! 

I'm guessing my brain has become much for sensitive to these kind of mechanisms. I hope it will fade. It probably won't go away when I reinstate to 5 mg (now on 2,5 mg for about 3,5 weeks).

[Geezer2BNormal]

I'm having the same issues except my obsessive thoughts deal with my age(63) and my horrible thoughts that my life is almost over and death may be right around the corner.  It's awful. I tapered off citalopram too quickly and went into this mode about a month after dropping to zero.  I reinstated to 5 mg. and am much better but I start every morning thinking about getting old and meeting my ultimate demise.  I NEVER had issues with my age before this.  I'm going to stabilize for at least two more months and see if these thoughts subside.  As long as I'm at work and staying focused on something else, I'm OK.  It also seems to get less of an issue as the day goes on, but the next morning.....here we go again.  

[RockSie]

Does anybody knows voidance behaviour because of obsessive/intrusive thinking?

For example: I have intrusive thoughts about suicide and if I see a bridge or another high building I feel really uncomfortable. I would never walk over a bridge because of the thoroughly convinced that i will jump.

I have the same phenomenon if I watch tv as well.

Blessings

[btdt]

Vitamin B5 made a huge difference in wd ocd for me... 

it is supposedly a B6 which has one step in metabolizing done already.... 

But for me 6 makes me so depressed I can't lift my head... and feel really bad... B5 a charm I take most days every single day I take B1 helps me think... and I will never be without it. 

peace all

B5 is pantothenic acid ... what the bottle says 

[btdt]

Does anybody knows voidance behaviour because of obsessive/intrusive thinking?

For example: I have intrusive thoughts about suicide and if I see a bridge or another high building I feel really uncomfortable. I would never walk over a bridge because of the thoroughly convinced that i will jump.

I have the same phenomenon if I watch tv as well.

Blessings

I don't see a history for you with your post.. it is usually under all your posts????   I am going to assume your in the early stages of wd but I could be wrong ... for me the first few years were like this and over time it did ease during this time it is important to do a lot of deep relaxation exercises baths and avoidance till your system has more time to heal.  Epsom salt baths or foot soaks were also very helpful to me then and now. Distraction is a vital tool knowing what is ok and what isn't is all part of the tool box for healing... when you find what helps keep it in a mind and plan to use it often. 

Once I found a  meditation that helped me I used it every single day to establish the neural path in my brain... I know sounds smart and important but mostly I needed it several times a day... but because I used it so often it became a life line for me... after a few moments of hearing it my body would relax... my mind would shift.  Repeating is important to estabilsh balance... 

 

mostly when you find things that sooth you you will repeat them because they work... but sometimes we forget to keep cues handy... 

hope this helps you 

peace all

[Cheryl]

...

Once I found a meditation that helped me I used it every single day to establish the neural path in my brain... I know sounds smart and important but mostly I needed it several times a day... but because I used it so often it became a life line for me... after a few moments of hearing it my body would relax... my mind would shift. Repeating is important to estabilsh balance...

 

mostly when you find things that sooth you you will repeat them because they work... but sometimes we forget to keep cues handy...

...

Having a hard time here finding a meditation tool to help my intrusive thoughts. I tried grounding techniques using visual/auditory work the best, but when the thoughts are in overdrive, they are so strong that they go right through. I'm also guessing I could be in a wave.

 

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I am having visuals of my workplace while trying to sleep and suicidal ideations are stronger.

Any suggestions?

[Cheryl]

Vitamin B5 made a huge difference in wd ocd for me... 

it is supposedly a B6 which has one step in metabolizing done already.... 

But for me 6 makes me so depressed I can't lift my head... and feel really bad... B5 a charm I take most days every single day I take B1 helps me think... and I will never be without it. 

peace all

B5 is pantothenic acid ... what the bottle says

 

I can't figure out how to multiquote.

Can you please tell me more about B5? I took it quite a long time ago and then it may have gone off the market.

I would like to try this and wanted to know about strengths of it.

[johnson]

Having a hard time here finding a meditation tool to help my intrusive thoughts. I tried grounding techniques using visual/auditory work the best, but when the thoughts are in overdrive, they are so strong that they go right through. I'm also guessing I could be in a wave.

 

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I am having visuals of my workplace while trying to sleep and suicidal ideations are stronger.

Any suggestions?

Hi Cheryl,

 

Have you tried changing your thought process and thinking more positive? Even if you aren't feeling great try and force you self to be and think positive. Also if your thoughts become intrusive think of a happy place you would rather be in. For example think of being on the beach somewhere with your spouse or out having fun with friends at a favourite restaurant. Just some place you can visit in your mind that makes you happy to counter the negative intrusive thoughts. Don't quit. I hope this helps and makes sense. The 'happy place' idea I got from the movie happy Gilmore.

[Cheryl]

Thank you Johnson, and I appreciate your input.

I do try this and much of it depends on my work issues. I work in community mental health and it's high stress and upper management demands.

I noticed many people in WD don't work and/or can't. I was considering a medical leave but can't afford the pay cut.

My physical health is suffering tremendously, and I know the stress and waves are a contribution.

[johnson]

Is there a chance you could find a less stressful job or at least take some time off for your self or perhaps even talk with your boss? Would living with your parents for a while be an option until you get better? If this job is causing you tremendous amounts of stress things will only get worse. Being in withdrawal/tapering can take it's toll and working a stressful job on top of that doesn't help.

 

Remember you come first and so does your health. Before anything!

Your health and well being is the most important thing in this world(in my opinion).

[Cheryl]

Is there a chance you could find a less stressful job or at least take some time off for your self or perhaps even talk with your boss? Would living with your parents for a while be an option until you get better? If this job is causing you tremendous amounts of stress things will only get worse. Being in withdrawal/tapering can take it's toll and working a stressful job on top of that doesn't help.

 

Remember you come first and so does your health. Before anything!

Your health and well being is the most important thing in this world(in my opinion).

Yes, I want a medical leave but can't afford it. Living with my parents is not an option, unfortunately.

I have been actively seeking other work for about a year now with no luck.

Looking for work is a part-time job, so to speak, but I make it a daily priority unless I'm severely fatigued after work.

I just found a new meditation recommended by a friend prior to signing back on. It's Abraham Hicks. I was told she will help me when my thoughts are at their strongest.

I am plugging in starting today and will definitely give everyone an update as I use it.