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angie007

Picking up the threads again?

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angie007

Hi Guys,

I would like to ask this please;-

 

How does anyone pick up the threads to there again after paxil and wd??

 

You see, my youngest child was 2.5yrs old when i went on this junk, and now is 17

and capable of an independant life. My other children have there own homes and families.

My husband works full time.

ME, im in wd from paxil.

 

But there just has to be MORE to life than housework, washing and cleaning.

Im not capable of paid work as i would be unreliable down to wd symptoms,

friends moved on when wd was tough and i couldnt live my life the way they lived there's.

 

So, its just little ole me, all alone with my wd issues and now wanting more out of

life than what i have.

 

Any ideas????????? or am i being unrealistic? and this is all there is for me now.

Edited by Neuroplastic
The topic will fit more in the Family Forum

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Brandy

But there just has to be MORE to life than housework, washing and cleaning.

 

omg, that's for sure!!!!!!!!

 

I'd rather swallow tacks than do housework!

 

Things start falling into place better than you can have imagined as the healing happens!

 

But... don't wait for that! Even if you're not feeling well, try to do things you like whenever you can!

 

And don't worry if you don't enjoy them as much as you normally would. Try different things. ANYTHING is better than housework LOL!!! :D

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angie007

Thankyou for the encouragement Brandy, i really do need some sort of boot up the jacks some days,

im not lazy, and im not one to stay in bed, but hell over the last 15 days,

ive spent only 3 days up all day,due to wd, either flu symptoms/nausea, headache/ dizzyness or fatigue.

 

Can this be NORMAL???? this is s unlike me, i run around with most things i catch, its not often i have to resort

to my bed, and its worrisome, when you get up wanting to do things and you end up back in bed for one of the above reasons.

Im so glad i kept on top of everything here, or we would be living in a sty, because if i dont do it, it dont get done.

 

And im in this state, and trying so hard to make sense of my life whats left of it, and deal with starting my life again

after this drug, maybe im expecting too much too soon, i dont know.

Its been one huge pity party here today.

Anyone assure me this is normal in early wd? and it does all fit into place further on down the line, as i aint much use to anyone

in this state.

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Baxter

Hi, Angie,

 

I saw this post and my heart goes out to you. I lost track of tons of people who really, really mattered to me through depression/AD space-out and WD. Since I stopped taking benzos and started reducing ADs, I had to rebuild my life, which was pretty empty...

 

Do you remember any leisure activity/hobby/interest that you used to enjoy? Does anything attract you? I'm thinking along the lines of quilting, drawing, reading novels...because if there is something that you enjoy doing with your hands, it can be the focus of your attention when you're feeling ok and something to look forward to.

 

I have been sewing and making quilts for over 30 years and I'm still sort of a beginner. I often don't have the time or the energy to actually sew, but the thought of the beautiful fabric, of shopping in a women-only environment, of sharing some laughs with other quilters pulls me through the week. Also, just playing around with the fabric and thinking about possibilities even if i can't get it together to sew is really entertaining.

 

At a different time in my life, I was into knitting and I also have done a fair amount of needlepoint. The thing about all these crafts is they are soothing. you can sit still and get into the rhythm. I can knit when I'm agitated or having the dizzies - I find that focusing my eyes on something close up helps.

 

Additionally, in the US anyway, women congregate around the tables at the needlework shops and stitch or knit together. It's a great way to be around nice people without a big investment. If you don't feel good, you don't show. If you do, you're there, you know? you can find some friends based on a new or re-newed interest. And although you may not make any new best friends, what I found was I continue to run into the same friendly faces over and over. Nice, low key conversations about nothing - lots of laughs - it can be very healing to just be around people quietly sharing something they love.

 

There are people of all ages who are picking up needles for the first time every day. If you started now, maybe you could make a quilt or two for the coming babies or knit them blankets? Embrace your secret designer and use those clever hands...

 

Its just a thought, Angie. I'm not saying that knitting or quilting resolved any of my issues - the ones that brought me to ADs or the ones that ADs caused. But they have both been a source of relaxation and low-key social activity during the past four years.

 

Anyway, I wish I lived one town over instead of across an ocean...We could hang out.

 

Hugs

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angie007

Awww guys, how kind of you to call by with your lovely words,

i think its just me, you know, lost my mates, and bored crazy,

for some reason today it got to me badly.

 

But it does no good to have these negative things in your life, especially

in wd, maybe Baxter i will look into some needlecraft of some kind,

i did stacks of knitting in wd for the new babies,

maybe sewing is my next encounter.

 

Wouldnt it be lovely to have a friend in wd that understood all this

to hang around with, that understood the limitations sometimes.

Nice thought baxter, i really appreciate it, pity its across the ocean tho,

dont think im up for a marathon swim anytime soon lol.

x

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Hopeful

Angie,

 

The anxiety during w/d does play on “mid-life issues”. I could have pretty much written your post. My kids are 17 and 18 one still in HS, one in college and they both work. ..they are pretty much on their own now. I couldn’t work during the worst of w/d and now that I can I’m having a hard time finding a full time job due to the economy. I’ve never liked housework B) . As far as friends go I have picked up pretty much where I left off with mine and you will too when you are up to it.

 

I don’t know if you can find a therapist that understands Paxil w/d, but since your doctor seems to get it maybe he knows one he could recommend that you could see. That way you would have someone to talk to other than your family as you are progressing in your recovery. I was lucky enough to find one and it really helped me get through it.

 

Also, as mentioned in the other posts...try to find something you like to do (a hobby) that you can pick up and work on even if it is only five minutes at a time. I took a watercolor class and just had all my stuff sitting in a corner where I could go to from time to time.

 

I know some days it was all I could do to just deal with the anxiety, but you will get through it.

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Healing

Wow, great posts here. It looks like the consensus is to drop the housework like a hot potato! :P

 

Angie, I was just wondering recently what was happening with your Reiki training. You really liked that. Are you using it on yourself at all? Do you feel drawn to a Reiki class?

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angie007

Hi Hopeful,

 

Thankyou for stopping by and passing on kind words of encouragement,

They help so much, and to know my friends will be back and i will be able to participate in life again will be wonderful.

 

I do try my best to stay positive, some days is really hard, my emotions get the better of me,

and as i have no one to talk to about it, i get on here and vent, hope no one minds listening to my drivel,

as i do realise we all have this cross to bear, unfortunately.

 

The problem is that;-

When i did ct it was absolutely horrendous, i personally think i am traumatised from that,although it did get

a little better when i got back on the drug, ands i was able to pick up the pieces again, but it did resurface once i got down to the

very low doses of my latest taper, hence my hanging on to the last little bit, but all the time, knowing

that the reason i was having problems i was having, were likely caused by the med, knowing id been in tolerance

since my 8th year of use, and not getting off until my 14th yr stirred up a lot of fear for me.

 

When i went back on Seroxat in 2006 at a lesser dose, and started to become more functional again,

I have passionately spent all my spare time, googling, searching for information to this syndrome,

and managed to find enough information to convince my new doctor, that what i was suffering from was linked to my use

of the drug, and everytime i see him, he seems more and more educated, he has been a gem, although, still too optimistic

in his expectations of what we can and will achieve after seroxat use, but i guess for now, thats not a bad thing.

 

So, because of this constant research, constant chatter of what will happen? what damage etc, to anyone that visits,

hubby rolls his eyes sometimes - ive seen him, and others just tell me, i have to let it go, its been hard.

 

What they fail to realise is, that whenyou live with symptoms on a daily basis that have had a big impact, and have limited

my life in many ways, how can you not think, search for information, want to talk bout it.

This is a syndrome like no other, its not like an illness where you can see gradual improvement, and it gets better

and better each day/week, giving you encouragement.

I feel im serving a long sentence for a crime i did not commit.

This, i believe is the reason my life has become so small, all im interested in seeing myself and all of us here

improving, and living our lives, that alone would be all i needed, ive never been the most patient of people, and going through this

has not helped in that department lol.

 

As for hobbys and interests, yes i have a Reiki Masters degree, im qualified to teach, but you know, this experience

has completely wiped that interest -and many others which i hope in time will return.

 

Its likely true to say, that i have become " consumed" and obcessed in some way, by the whole experience, as i have always

strived for perfection in every area of my life, and now, the realisation that " i may not be perfect again" has bitten me badly.

On the other hand, who knows what awaits, maybe in time, i will come to terms or accept whatever life throws my way, and move on.

 

But i do find the fact that, a legal prescription drug causing problems like this, hard to accept FOR NOW!!!!,

The uncertainty of what is left for us after these drugs is another area that causes so much upset, which somedays

does take over my emotions.

 

I dont know if this is normal???

I guess it must be to some degree, i cant be the only one that is struggling to comprehend how in the NAME OF GOD,

poison like this, that so obviously affects the minds and bodies of those that take it, for things other than mental illness,

ever got licensed for public use. Its tantamount to criminal, and so very cruel that so many many lives have been, and are being

ruined by a prescription drug, and no one is trained to help or advise in any way, and NO CURE either is disturbing.

 

When i look back at the prescribing doctor, i left that surgery after my ct, they watched me going through hell, mentally and

physically, desperate, looking for the answer why i became so ill after my ct use of seroxat, and they tried to tell me, it was anxiety and

depression, yes!!! too right it was, all induced by Seroxat, GSKs money spinner, there mind bending drug, the TRUE cause of all

our suffering today, and not just us, many 1000s more that will come behind us, its TRAGIC, that they have never in the UK, been made

accountable for the damage that drug has done, and the lives it has taken.

He ( my doctor) is retired and happily living his life, and i sit here and look at what has happened to my own.

 

For GSK, its the perfect drug, no test detects any abnormality, the real truth has been hidden, and people like us are in the minority,

so they say, while people like us struggle to try and partake in normal life as best as we can, while living with some of the most

bizzarre, weird and frightening symptoms, that eat away at us mentally and emotionally.

 

So yes, if anyone knows any tips in being able to " let go and let it be", i would love to hear from you, because as you can

all see, its something im having great difficulty with, as im still emotionally raw from it all.

 

Your idea of therapy would be good, if i could just find one who acknowledges all of this, maybe i will talk to my doctor

and see what he can advise.

No wonder, we fear the fear, this seroxat is not dubbed the FEAR drug for nothing.

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kathy1444

Hello Angie,

I have isolated myself for the past 2 years due to being on medication reduced me to a dull, lifeless, numb sloth. Finally, waking up only off of Pristiq a week now and started tapering for Geodon trying to find motivation to get myself going again but clueless.

My daughter doesn't have much time being in college, working and has social life. I was a social butterfly that thought now instills fear and anxiety. I do have a friend that I visit when he is in town but that is it. Haven't been able to even do that once withdrawals started, I couldn't let him see me like this.

I need some kind of routine maybe to get me started because I am so lost and clueless!

I have made mistakes in the past with drugs and battled depression on my own neither ruining my life, bouncing back stronger, positive and wiser. I feel robbed of 2 years as I rotted away, numb and lifeless on medication and then suffer this kind of withdrawal. I want to believe that me I loved still exists but have to wonder as I have no motivation, will and determination to write thoughts out but ends there, energy just zapped out.

How do you pick up the pieces when they are still scattering?

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