Corey-Where to go from here?

[Corey]

Hello everyone

 

My name's Corey and I live and work in Beijing, China though I'm Canadian.

In the early 1990's I was prescribed Prozac to deal with a failed marriage. It left me irritable, short tempered and overall very sensitive. So I was upgraded to Paxil. I tried to quit as I was tired of looking at life through a glass window pane, but never being able to attend the party. I tried countless time to quit cold, but as you can guess, it's not that easy.

Finally after 20 years, I decided enough was enough. I researched for over 3 months going from blogs,to websites, pdf's, the list is endless.

Once satisfied with with my findings, last year March 1st 2012, I started my journey. Full dose 40mg, every two months dropped 10mg until ending finally Sept 1st 2012. I've crashed only twice, second time being at work yesterday and thanks to a fantastic colleague. He preserved my dignity and was very supportive as I explained what I had been doing, just the same as I share with you now.

I'm here in hopes of finding how to deal with being hypersensitive and what I can expect for the next 6 months, if not life.

 

There's so much to tell and an infinite amount of pain surrounding this issue. I just want to be well again !!!

I'll update you all on my progress as much as possible and if anyone has any questions, I'll do my best to answer them.

 

P.S. I found a book which I will be buying,hope it's recommendation helps someone.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Making-Work-Highly-Sensitive-Person/dp/0071441778/ref=pd_sim_b_7

Corey

[dalsaan]

Hi Corey

 

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear you have been suffering. You Will find people here to be very supportive

 

Can you tell us a little more about your symptoms, what are your key ones, how long have you had them, have they changed over time?

 

Dalsaan

[areyouthere]

I was tired of looking at life through a glass window pane, but never being able to attend the party.

Oh Corey. Welcome. You and I have this in common: we have been on AD's a long, long time. The above statement just so perfectly describes how I began to feel this past August.... it really is sad but I just want you to know that there is hope!!!!

 

second time being at work yesterday and thanks to a fantastic colleague. He preserved my dignity and was very supportive as I explained what I had been doing,

This person is a saint. I was fortunate enough to have had similar people in my life recently.

 

Please do as Dalsan requests. When I did it was difficult as my history was so long. Just let us know the most recent for now. Someone will be along soon.

 

RU

[tezza]

Hi Corey,

 

Welcome to the group! I'm glad you found us, you will get a lot of support here.

 

I haven't looked at your link yet, but will. Thanks for sharing!

 

Tezza

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Corey.

 

Well, I'm glad you've found us since I've banned a lot of China because of the spammers!

 

We'd very much like to hear your symptom pattern, how it changed and resolved, and what you've done to support your healing.

[Jemima]

Welcome to the forum, Corey. Please take your time reading through the many useful topics here, especially 'Symptoms and self care':

 

Symptoms and self care

 

You'll find lots of friendly support as well.

[Corey]

Good morning everyone from Beijing China.

 

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and encouraging support.It's nice to hear from people who understand sincerely.

My memory has been quite poor surrounding this problem, but I'll try my best to update you.

 

When I think about this issue and try to deal with it mentally or even try to talk to someone about it, I'm moved to tears almost instantly. I'm well aware of it and very careful how to discuss it with anyone, so I don't insight any tears. I've been off Paxil for over 6 months now and life is much better, especially no thoughts of suicide, which is a huge breathe of fresh air. It doesn't even come to mind anymore. So for me this is a massive milestone and not a headstone..lol

 

As for my colleague at work. The day after he invited me to dinner, but I had to decline sadly as I had barely recovered from the night before. But I did discuss the breakdown with my wife and as always was supportive, but was a little sad as she mentioned, she lacked the knowledge and tools to help me. I think I'll introduce her to our site and then we'll have both hands on deck.

 

I have 3 questions I need help with please.

1. Why am I so easily moved to tears?

2. Why is my memory like a goldfish (7 sec)then gone

3. I'm very concerned that my colleague is or will walk on eggshells around me. He's also senior to me, but a great person I can't thank in my heart enough.

 

Please take care everyone and I will spend sometime with the link provided very kindly.

Corey

[Corey]

Thank you so much: Altostrata/Jemima/Dalsann/Are you there? and Tezza

 

Since I started this discussion group with people who understand. I feel more optimistic about my future and not so guilty for losing control which reminds me that we're only human.

 

As for my colleague at work. I should never under estimate a friend. We had a group lunch today and he did everything possible to make me laugh.

So I had to share this with you all in addition to a few more thoughts before the goldfish disease strikes. Note: goldfish have only 7 sec memory

 

I read thanks to Jemima's suggestion about Wave Patterns of Recovery. This explained a lot as well as try to live a simple low stress life. I definitely had been putting too much on my plate which forced the recent crash I'm sure. Also I realize I should have not only looked at the weaning process of Paxil, but the mental challenges which we'd be faced with shortly there after. Not just simply back to work as usual and everything will be A OK!!! I'm such a goldfish!!!

 

Dalsann my activities are Toastmasters twice a week plus mentoring others(I love helping people). I find going to there where positive people are has been a huge help in keeping me happy.During the work week, I cycle to the gym 22km(13.75miles)each way then stretch and off to work.

 

My feelings are very much below the surface and I'll need to take things a lot slower.

 

In addition, in future posts I'll make sure I discuss the symptoms more. I realize you all read a lot of posts and getting to the point would allow you to help more people.

 

Take care everyone and thanks so much again. Happy International Women Day too !!!

[Altostrata]

And Happy International Women Day to you! Is China celebrating it publicly?

 

I have 3 questions I need help with please.

1. Why am I so easily moved to tears?

2. Why is my memory like a goldfish (7 sec)then gone

3. I'm very concerned that my colleague is or will walk on eggshells around me. He's also senior to me, but a great person I can't thank in my heart enough.

Corey, withdrawal makes us hypersensitive in a lot of ways. Many of us went through very tearful phases. I know I did.

 

It also affects your concentration. This will improve. I also had this, and although it was alarming to me and I felt quite impaired, it seemed people around me didn't notice it. This is a "fake it until you make it" situation.

 

If you and your colleague are close, I would tell him how much I appreciate his support and tell him he doesn't need to walk on eggshells around you.

[Corey]

Hello Everyone

 

Just liked to offer a quick update and hope it helps someone suffering.

 

Things since my last crash have been ok and fairly normal I guess. Though I noticed when I overloaded my life again with too much, anxiety would immediately slip in and make a rough day out of things. Sleep has been ok even living in the heavily polluted city of Beijing China. Work is average though as I still very self concious around people while my CNS continues to repair itself. I feel like I'm learning social skills all over again sometimes, but try not to look too far into it being hypersensitive. It's 2:38 am and I'm having a little insomnia attack. Thank god it's becoming an endangered species lol lol.

 

I was reading a topic just a moment ago and the member said he didn't see too many success stories. So I wanted to contribute in hopes it will inspire others not to give up.

We can all make it sincerely! But together, it's much easier as I've found from this life saving website and kind words from others.

 

Food for thought- I find when I try to eat well, exercise and help others in need. Be it job, life or friends, it seems to make life a little easier to swallow despite the mental roller coaster I'm on. Trying despite the negative feelings going on in our minds plants seeds of hope for the future which we can harvest at a latter point. But you have to try, it's hard I know, but try. I promise you'll be rewarded when you need someone the most when your next bad day or crash in my case comes.

 

Take care and never give up trying to get off these life draining meds.

Corey

[basildev]

That's great news Corey!

 

Congratulations on your success and may your wellness continue in abundance

 

xx