Abir - 2 months after antidepressants withdrawal

[abir]

Does anyone know a doctor who knows about withdrawal in Ontario Canada or anywhere in Canada?

[abir]

Is if safe to take melatonin to sleep?

[johnson]

Does anyone know a doctor who knows about withdrawal in Ontario Canada or anywhere in Canada?

 

Hi Abir,

 

Did you ever try contacting the canadian mental health association? They might be able to help.

http://www.cmha.ca/

 

I hope we are allowed to post links to other sites. forgive me if we can't.

[basildev]

Hi Abir,

 

Its' thought to be safe. Here is a post dedicated to the subject:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/189-melatonin-for-sleep/

 

I tried it for a while but I think it didn't really help. I noticed I was very depressed the next morning, but that could have been just withdrawal symptoms. I don't take anything at all now.

[lexicon]

Hi Abir, both Alex and basildev were kind with this info ..:

http://survivinganti....sta -or -clinics/

I hope the link works ..

If not please write ..wishing you a peaceful sleepy night ..hugs

[abir]

Thank you all for replying I will check these links...thanks again

[abir]

I checked melatonin link: since it does not help to stay asleep, may not work for me because when I fall asleep I wake up soon after with racing heart, feeling too warm and nauseous... I will wait a couple more days... Also since reinstating AD I get what feels like anxiety at night which also makes it hard to sleep, and the weird thing is it gets better after 3 am... So weird because before reinstating my anxiety was from early morning till late afternoon only...

[basildev]

It's probably the early morning cortisol kicking in too early.

 

You might want to try phosphorylated serine. Some people have had success with it, and also lactium. I've tried both and it didn't help me, but we're all different.

 

Here's a link on the subject:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3782-phosphatydilserine-aka-phosphatidyl-serine/

 

And also here:

 

http://www.moodcure.com/correcting_cortisol_levels.html

 

Be wary of cortisol tests, they're expensive and not necessarily a true indication of what's going on in your body.

[abir]

Thank you so much basildev for the info...

 

I really wish I read this stuff before reinstating AD (things were simpler then,I was able to sleep for 4 hours straight before my anxiety woke me and my anxiety seemed to correlate with cortisol levels . I would have tried those options instead of going back on AD.. But the problem is we don't find this site until we are too weak or distressed to comprehend and take advantage of the info here)...

After reinstating, my anxiety comes and goes throughout the day but it is present even at 8 pm but seems to be better between 3 am and 6 am.. Does this still sound like high cortisol level issues? Could it be something else that was messed up by reinstating AD? I did not have the hot flashes and nightmares before going back on AD...

 

Good to know about vitamin c, started taking it again

[Narcissus]

After reinstating, my anxiety comes and goes throughout the day but it is present even at 8 pm but seems to be better between 3 am and 6 am.. Does this still sound like high cortisol level issues?

Many complain of having anxiety in the morning, but in the earlier stages of withdrawal I found I had surges at various times throughout the entire day. It sounds like you're in the same boat. I myself am not exactly sure what causes the anxiety surges, but per alto's explanation it seems to involve cortisol and the brain's alerting system. Whatever the cause, the surges will become less frequent and less intense over time. There's not much you can do but wait for things to settle down.

[basildev]

Abir,

 

I had intense hot flashes after updosing to 20 mg. I believe it is a very common withdrawal symptom.

 

Sometimes the withdrawal symptoms take a while to appear even after updosing/reinstating. I became much worse before I started to get better.

 

But today, I am free of the hot flushes and many other symptoms.

 

You will be too. Just hang in there.

[abir]

Thank you both for your support...

I hope this is the "worse" you are talking about... Most night I sleep for 30 minutes only - like 15 minutes around 1 and another 15 minutes after 3...last night slept for 2 hours in total which was best in more than a week... And always wake up in in panic... And anxiety during the day but even when I am having a break from anxiety I stilk can't sleep ..it has been 6 month since I stopped AD ... It is hard not to panic and think what if my brain is not going to find its balance... And no doctor who understands what is happening or what to do..

[basildev]

I'm still unclear as to exactly what dose you are taking and how long you have been taking that dose.

 

Would you mind adding these details to your drug history?

 

It helps us to work out what you might need without having to sift through your entire thread.

[abir]

you mean my signature? i am trying to update it but i keep getting an error saying that is too long..

ok, i just put the dates (removed my comments on the symptoms associated with each dose) and it worked

[abir]

last night i did not have anxiety when i went to bed - it was pure insomnia that kept me awake... so i guess melatonin should be helpful in that case... lexi mentioned tryptophan, is it safer to try tryptophan first instead of melatonin?

[Altostrata]

Since you've increased to 5mg, have your symptoms gotten worse or better?

 

Are you able to get out and do some walking for at least a half-hour every day (not too late in the day)? This helps your nervous system re-regulate.

[abir]

I am keeping a diary but still hard for me to determine if I got better or worst... Still not sleeping, my brain does not work...I think I am sleeping less than when I was on 2.5...maybe anxiety is worse too... Sorry I know you can't help if I can't answer this question.. So sorry maybe I will go lie down now...

No, I am too weak to go outside or do anything... If I can sleep I am sure I would be able to force myself to do something... Now talking and eating are hard enough... Taking a shower is very hard

[Altostrata]

You may wish to take 4mg rather than 5mg.

[abir]

thank you alto... i will keep or analyzing my notes whenever my brain allows me to, hopefully i can answer your question better...not completely sure if worse or not...symptoms switch every 3 or 4 days and it seems that there are so many versions of anxiety: feeling anxious when I go to sleep versus not feeling anxious but still waking up with racing heart as falling asleep. feeling heart palpitations during the day versus no heart palpitations but tingling in legs and arms and feeling uncomfortable/agitated.... insomnia at night but that stimulating effect helps me during the day so I can get up, eat, check your website...so hard to know what better means when the symptoms are so varied and multi faceted...

[Fizz]

Hi abir, know exactly how you feel surviving on so little sleep, it's horrible. Am in a wave at the moment, 3 nights this week I only managed over an hour. Promise it will get better! I had weeks of 4 hours plus prior to this! Am dragging myself around the house slowly, praying that we get a good break soon! It still amazes me how my brain and body can be so exhausted yet sleep won't come, the adrenaline overrides it. Thinking of you tonight, hope we are gonna be lucky. Xxxxxx

[abir]

thank you so much Fizz...wow, i can't believe that you are taking care of a family while going through this... you are inspiring... i hope that your sleep will improve really soon.. starting tonight...

 

i am feeling better now - no anxiety since 3pm and after 4pm i got some energy (it scares me because it is un-natural since i have not been sleeping and most likely it means that i will be dealing with insomnia again tonight) but... i was able to go outside, took alto's advice and went for a 15min walk - it helped a lot to be out again - in the sun - among people ... since march 30 when i resinstated AD, i have not been able to go out or drive or call a friend do anything really... so this is good even if not natural...

i have been having breaks from anxiety - i hope this means that i am finally getting better - i hope the anxiety will just get better from now on...

[abir]

alto, thanks again for your suggestion to go for a walk, i was able to do it this afternoon and it definitely helps ...

i still need to figure out if the 5mg made me better or not... i am going to wait for a couple of days and see - maybe that will make it clearer... i still can't determine if i am better or not..

[basildev]

That is definitely a good sign Abir.

 

You are having some small windows in there, which is an indication that your brain is healing.

 

They key is not to get discouraged when the waves come. It can be very hard not to get caught up in those 'I'm never going to get better' thoughts. But remember this, too, is part of the wave and the ruminating thought are also a symptom of withdrawal.

 

Regarding your symptoms, I keep a daily Excel spreadsheet where I enter every single symptom I have each day including the times. I have been doing this since late February and when I'm in a wave, I look back and feel encouraged because I see the patterns (windows and waves). I see that I'be been slowly but surely getting better and that even though I'm in a wave now, I WILL get a window in the future.

 

I think this would be a really good idea for you to do as well, if you're not already doing it.

[abir]

Thank you basildev.. You're right, I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the next wave, it is hard not to feel disappointed when it hits...I am keeping a diary, but so far it has been hard to see improvement...but I need to go through it again and summarize it somehow in an excel sheet...also what makes it hard is what we think is the worst at one time, becomes not so bad when things get even worse...

I hope you are right and that i will get more windows and that it becomes clear to me that overall things are getting better... Thanks again and I hope your windows get more prolonged and more frequent...

[basildev]

Yes I understand totally.

 

Like I said, I got worse BEFORE I improved after my updose.

 

You have just mentioned a window a few posts ago. They all add up:)

[abir]

Yes you are right... I slept well yesterday.. Maybe 4 hours total but what is even more great is I was able to stay asleep for a whole hour at a time... And whenever I wake up, my heart/breathing/nausea issues are not that bad... Thank you for keeping on reminding me and the others to stay hopeful and to not forget our windows and just be blinded by the waves

[Fizz]

Fantastic abir! So pleased you slept better! Guess what, I had around 5 hours last night, yay. Got the kids out all day, had to keep having sit downs in between though. Was so pleased this morning, for both of us! Hugs. Xxxx

[lexicon]

Fabulous for both of you ..

Abir and Fizz, keep up the wonderful open windows ..

May you continue to have beautiful, relaxed days and nights .. many hugs ..xx

[abir]

so happy for you Fizz, that is fantastic...

lexi, i hope you get a window soon too so you can get some hope back

[Fizz]

Love it Lexicon! Am wise enough not to expect this to be indefinite though, just enjoying it while it lasts! ONE DAY THE WINDOW WILL STAY OPEN FOR ALL OF US AND NEVER EVER CLOSE! Lots of love. Xxxxxxx

[basildev]

Fantastic news!

 

 

record that in your diary and when you're in a wave you can remind yourself that it will get better:)

[abir]

OK that window is gone ... Maybe slept 1.5 hours last night (20 minutes at a time) and anxiety, not severe though, started at 4am... Started to get better after 3 pm but still there...so sleepy but when I attempt to sleep the anxiety gets worse...

I am going to try melatonin tonight... But worried that it will make me more sleepy but not make me fall asleep..like those nights when I am so sleepy but as I am falling asleep my racing heart wakes me up... The sleepier I am, the more often I almost fall asleep, which means more of those horrible waking up in panic episodes.. But I need to try because I need to get some sleep..

[Fizz]

Oh so sorry abir that you had a rough night, so frustrating. Yet it is early days for you still, just give it time....I have survived now for quite a while on very little sleep, keep on going! Fingers crossed for tonight! Thinking of you. Xxxx

[abir]

Thank you fizz...hoping we both have a good night sleep tonight..by the way, did you ever try melatonin or you would rather stay away from any products that affect the brain directly

[abir]

Basildev,

I read the info on phosphorylated serine (the one you kindly suggested) on this site, sounds like what I need but I am so scared to take it since it acts inside the brain...melatonin does that too but I feel more comfortable giving it a try since it is more widely used and maybe works in a more limited area in the brain...

But I will keep phosphorylated serine in my mind as something worth trying in the future.

[basildev]

Honestly Abir?

 

I think the only thing you really need is time and patience.

 

Taking too much PS can have the opposite effect and keep you awake.

 

What I found was that it sent me to sleep but I woke every hour so the sleep was not good quality. Anyway in the end I ditched all the supplements and decided to go it alone.

 

I know you just want to 'fix' this. I did too. This is all part of the ruminating thoughts that come with the wave. Wanting to fix it 'now' is actually another symptom of withdrawal.

 

Keep reminding yourself that. You WILL sleep 4 hours again. Then 5. Then 1.5. Then 5.5 Then back to maybe 1. And so on....

 

This is the nature of windows and waves. So you have to imagine yourself on a surfboard trying to 'ride the waves of change'. Let the waves take you where they will. Stay balanced on your surfboard.