abir Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 July was harder than june...in addition to the extreme mental and physical exhaustion, inability to concentrate or think... i have been waking up with anxiety every day... on good days, it gets better in an hour or two, then for the rest of the day, i just feel the tightness/heat/sinking feeling in my chest for minutes throughout the day i.e. just the physical symptoms.. on bad days, the anxiety lasts all day, it is not as bad as it was before june but it is still bad... still having some of the other WD symptoms: tinnitus, body jerks and breathing issues in the early morning, irritability, despair and crying (for few days only).. so i am still better than i was in april and may but disappointed that i felt better last month... hopefully it won't get any worse... have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Narcissus Posted August 2, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 2, 2013 Sorry to hear that things have worsened this month, Abir If withdrawal was more linear things would be much, much easier. Then again, besides abstract mathematical equations there isn't much that's linear. I hope August has better things in store for you. 3 Years 150 mgs Effexor 2 month taper down to zero 3 terrible weeks at zero Back up to 75 mgs 2 months at 75 6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine. 3 month taper back to zero 1 HORRENDOUS week at zero 2 days back up to 37.5 3 days back up to 75 One week at 150 - unable to stabilize. Back down to 75 mgs At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012. "It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche Link to comment
Ip51 Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 I am tapering Paxil. Was on it for nine years then tried to quit. Got down to 7.00mg then hit a wall. Couldn't get any lower until I discovered that I could only drop 1/10 th of a mg every month. Any faster and I end up in that two month thi g where all is seemingly OK and then symptoms become so bad I feel like entering a mental hospital. I discovered that I had to withdraw ultra slow from 7.5 mg on down. I am now at 6.8 mg and continuing at this ultra slow pace. It works with very little problem. But I know that things- are- ok - for a couple months or less, then bam, it hits and the onlyway out is to reinstate. Ug!! Took 11 months to kick Benzo? On Paxil for ten years 20mg? Got down to 7.5mg easily but hit a wall.Tried to lower it but kept hitting walls and updosing until..Now liquid Paxil4/3/2013 Took over 6 months to reach 7.2mg =3.6mL5/3/13 7.0 mg = 3.5 mL8/13. 3 mL or 6.6 mg7/5/2014 took a year to get to 6.1 but am stable there and still going.<p>12/2014 now at 6.05mL The good news, no or almost no withdrawal symptoms. Have MS now so every little drop is difficult with symptoms. Not fun! Stopped withdrawing at 6mg. Got too hard with MS and is taking way too long...years, over 10. I may not be here that long and didn't want to spend my entire life in withdrawal so gave up at 6mg. Got a compound pharmacy to make the exact amount. I have to squelch the feeling that "they" won! Really sucks but oh well, I have my life back. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus basildev Posted August 2, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 2, 2013 Sorry you've had a worse month Abir - yet it does seem that overall things have improved for you. It's kind of like 2 steps forward / 1 step back in recovery isn't it? I hope you feel better very soon:) July 2001 prescribed 20mg citalopram for depression;On and off meds from 2003-2006.February 2006 back on 20mg citalopram and stayed on it until my last attempt at tapering in September 2011.By far the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Reinstated to 20mg citalopramOctober 2012 - found this forum!Nov 2012 to Feb 2013 did 10% taper, got doen to 11mg - was going great until stressful situation. Cortisol levels hit the roof, hideous insomnia forced me to updose to 20mg.March 2016 - close to 100% back to normal!****** I am not a medical practitioner, any advice I give comes from my own experience or reading and is only my perspective ****** Link to comment
abir Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 Sorry to hear that things have worsened this month, Abir If withdrawal was more linear things would be much, much easier. Then again, besides abstract mathematical equations there isn't much that's linear. I hope August has better things in store for you. thank you Narcissus... yes, it would have been so much easier to stay hopeful... i hope you continue to feel improvement Narcissus... i know it has been slow for you but hopefully you will continue to get better and stronger.. have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
abir Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 I am tapering Paxil. Was on it for nine years then tried to quit. Got down to 7.00mg then hit a wall. Couldn't get any lower until I discovered that I could only drop 1/10 th of a mg every month. Any faster and I end up in that two month thi g where all is seemingly OK and then symptoms become so bad I feel like entering a mental hospital. I discovered that I had to withdraw ultra slow from 7.5 mg on down. I am now at 6.8 mg and continuing at this ultra slow pace. It works with very little problem.But I know that things- are- ok - for a couple months or less, then bam, it hits and the onlyway out is to reinstate.Ug!! hopefully this slow pace will make your tapering much easier this time around... the slower the better... why even cut every month why don't you wait for a couple of months so you would know how the cut is affecting you and give your body more time to heal have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
abir Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 Sorry you've had a worse month Abir - yet it does seem that overall things have improved for you. It's kind of like 2 steps forward / 1 step back in recovery isn't it? I hope you feel better very soon:) yes, exactly... 2 steps forward and then 1 back... but as you said, i should be grateful that things are still better than they were a couple of months ago... i hope you are feeling better too basildev.. have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
lexicon Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Thinking of you Abir, I hope you are sitting in front of wide open windows .. Please write when time permits and tell me that you are doing absolutely wonderful .. Sending you love and thoughts of well being .. Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
abir Posted August 8, 2013 Author Share Posted August 8, 2013 Hello Lexi, i am doing ok, but it is hard these days.. i am having anxiety/depression every day, on a good day, they get much better after 11 am.... but i have not been having many good days ... i see you are still struggling with how to do the taper... i wish doctors could be more helpful!!! don't loose hope, there are still options to try, like switching to Klonopin, or even going back to liquid ativan, i mean if the problem with that is better absorption, then maybe lowering the dose would be the solution to that....... you are going to be ok, Lexi... it is not going to be easy but you will make it.. i know you will have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
lexicon Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I miss your presence Abir .. I am saddened that you are not better .. I am sorry ..But we just need to be patient, even though that is just so hard .. I think of you daily, you are never far from thought. As for me, I hope you are right Abir ..I feel very discouraged .. And what makes things more difficult, is the back of my head not feeling better .. It really frightens me .. Wishing you a lovely window .. Love Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
abir Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 Hello Lexi, you are always in my thoughts too.. i don't understand why life has to be this hard and what is the point of all this suffering...my CFS symptoms are much worse now than before i stopped taking ADs, and on top of that, i have this dread and despair to deal with almost all the time... i keep hoping that i am going to get better, but honestly, if my body could not recover from a simple flu that caused me to struggle with CFS for all these years , why would i think that i can recover from this ??? i was healthy and strong when i got that flu and my body was not able to recover from it, how could it recover from this withdrawal when it was messed up and too weak even before all this started...... just because i had some good days, well i call them good days, only because i did not have anxiety/depression to deal with, but the CFS symptoms were not better on those days...i was still too exhausted to handle anything or do anything.. and i have been having these good days since the first day i stopped ADs more than 9 months ago and i am still suffering... i am so sorry, my words are too depressing..... but your situation is different than mine...i really feel that you are going to be ok... your body hates this ativan and it is reacting to it, and that is why you are having these symptoms... but i believe that once you start tapering, although it would probably be hard at the beginning, but i believe that you will start feeling better and better as your get to the lower doses......... so what is the plan now? is switching to that other med still an option? did anyone suggest trying the liquid ativan again but at a lower dose? or can you taper with the ativan tablet?? Lexi, it seems that your body has recovered from the antidepressant withdrawal, and your current symptoms are caused by the ativan... i believe that just as you recovered from the AD withdrawal, you will recover from ativan withdrawal once you start and complete the taper...... and you won't be alone in your journey... you will have my support and my prayers as well as the support of your other and more knowledgeable friends here... you are going to be ok... have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
lexicon Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 My dearest Abir, You are not alone in your journey either .. For what is worth, my thoughts and prayers are with you day by day .. How I wish that you will be given some peace ..I hope soon ..How completely unfair it is, to go through all this hell, without help and support from the very doctors who took an oath to keep us well .. Please hold on to hope ..That there will be light at the end of the tunnel .. That the sun will shine again ..I struggle to hold on to this hope. Though I do not always succeed ..I feel like a 4 year old, depending on others for my survival. I am with you .. Sending you much love, and hugs ..Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
abir Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 thank you so much lexi for your support and encouragement - you are always in my thoughts and prayers too... sorry i don't write often but i do read your threads almost everyday, it is just so hard to write most of the time though... the anxiety is not too bad this week as long as i don't think or read about withdrawal, i am having a window i guess... i can sleep longer in the morning before it starts waking me up with racing heart as i am falling asleep........ for the rest of the day i just feel the tightness and warmth in my chest and feeling out of breath, and this is not too bad either ... but this total and overwhelming exhaustion is still hard to live with...it makes it hard to deal with anything or think or do anything at all.. lexi, there is no shame in having to depend on others to live sometimes, we are lucky that we have people we can depend and lean on...it could have been much worse.......it is hell but it will end - just keep telling yourself that ....... i am with you too... and so is your family, your friends and other people here going through the same thing... we are not alone... have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
lexicon Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Thinking of you Abir, I pray that you have lots and lots of windows .. Please know that I am by you in spirit, and pray that this nightmare will end, for us all who are caught in it .. Remember that we have to "keep walking " Sending you love and hugs Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
lexicon Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Hi Abir, We have not talked in a bit, and I have missed your presense You are in thought each day, and in prayer each night. Please keep in touch .. I wish that you are doing so much better my friend .. Thinking of you .. Love, Lexi Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
abir Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 hello Lexi.. thanks for checking on me.. actually i am doing ok, i did not have any bad anxiety or weeping in the last couple of weeks i think... just the tightness in chest few times during the day... how are you doing these days? have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
Nikki Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Hi Abir.....great news:) Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted December 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2013 Glad you are feeling much better Abir **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
abir Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 thank you mammaP and Nikki... i hope you two are feeling better too.. it does seem that the symptoms get milder with time, even though it takes a really really long time.. have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
lexicon Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Thinking of you my sweet friend Abir, and wishing you many many blessings.. Hoping that the New Year will be kind to us .. Sending you much love, Lexi ♥♫♪♥*♫♪♥*ℒℴѵℯ ♥ Hello, I am tapering Lorazepam, and my daily dose is 1.125 mgs. I followed a long hold for 5 months, ( Nov-March 2019) hoping to find some stability, but it did not work. So I resumed my taper and hold pattern. For the last 3 years, I have been using a daily microtaper, cutting .001mgs per day, with holds as needed. Symptoms are head pressure, labored breathing, palpitations, abrupt surges of dizziness, this being my worst symptom for now, internal tremors, my latest nemesis, unsteadiness, anxiety, plus many other symptoms that cycle in, and cycle out consistently. Not a day passes, without grief I take no other meds. January 2013 - 15 day quick taper off 10 mgs of Lexapro, and 25 mgs of Sertraline, at a detox clinic. Link to comment
abir Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 Thank you Lexi.. i hope so too.. how are you feeling these days? have you seen any improvements yet? i really really hope so.. have been on various antidepressants (many SSRIs, SNRI, MAOIs) for chronic fatigue syndrome for more than 17 years, was on zoloft 100mg for the last 2-3 years, tapered over 2.5 months, ending october 24 2012.reinstating AD:march 28: started on 25mg co-sertraline, took it for 2 daysapril 1: 12.5mg ONLY FOR ONE DAY- STOPPED taking medsapril 9: started on 2.5mg co-sertralineapril 17: increased to 5 mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 10, 2015 Administrator Share Posted March 10, 2015 How are you doing, abir? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Crocuslad Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I'm sorry and I understand. I've battle with depression and anxiety for the last 30 years and I know how you feel. Have you try taking a natural supplement to help you with the withdraws? I'm finally tapering my Celexa with the help of a saffron supplement. I'm down to 10 mg and I'm hopping to be pharmaceuticals free in the next couple of months. I take 30 mg of saffron extract 2 % safranal and I feel fine. Good luck to you Link to comment
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