Somuchine: Trying to taper, feeling alone and needing some inspiration!

[somuchmine]

I'm starting the tapering process (have been on 5 mg for 4 days) after having 2.5 weeks without medication because of an insurance screw-up. My original dose was 10mg. The two weeks without medication were awfully hard, but also taught me a lot. Before those two weeks, I wasn't considering going off the meds. But during those two weeks, I noticed I had my self-control about food back (I gained 45 lbs while on Lexapro, tried MANY times to lose the weight and felt like a total failure for being unable to do so.) I also noticed I had energy and didn't want to sleep 14 hours per day (which is what I was doing when on a 10mg daily dose of Lexapro). I noticed I felt like my "old" self - more present, more conscious.

 

However, I was also devastatingly sad during those weeks, and feel very sad now. Just kind of hopeless. I have been reading Dr. Breggin's "Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients and their Families," which is giving me hope that all of this is withdrawal and that some day I can feel okay without medication. I had no idea the medication was screwing with me so much...

 

I initially went on the medication for anxiety and depression after an abusive relationship. Now I feel like all the medication did was cover up my symptoms. I'm still struggling with everything that happened. I want to find freedom and peace inside and out...

 

Hoping to find some kindred spirits here... I'm the only one of my friends who struggles with this stuff, so sometimes I feel a bit alone. Everyone else seems to have their life together, and I'm just muddling through the day!

[Hudgens]

Hello Somuchmine, welcome to this site. The sadness most likely is from withdrawal. Have you felt any better since going back to the Lexapro? You'll get lots of expert help and sympathy here. You are not alone in this. Hope you're feeling better today, Benz

[Nikki]

Hoping to find some kindred spirits here... I'm the only one of my friends who struggles with this stuff, so sometimes I feel a bit alone. Everyone else seems to have their life together, and I'm just muddling through the day!

 

Hi...feeling the same way, hopeless.

 

Yes I gained weight on Lexapro. Alot of people do. Did you say the 10mgs. was good for you?

It was a difficult taper for me. Took a long time.

 

You were probably traumatized by the relationship. Is there someone you can talk to about what happened? It may cut the pain in half.

 

Maybe you can stay at the 10mgs. and stabilize. Give yourself some time to sort thru what happened and then begin a taper. I used liquid lexapro and was only able to drop 1mg. or a half mg. at a time.

 

Nikki

[Jemima]

Welcome to the forum, Somuchmine.

 

Yes, your feelings of sadness are most likely from withdrawal, especially such an abrupt one. You're doing everything right, though - reinstating at a lower dose and getting involved here. You may need to updose a bit more - perhaps by one milligram - if you don't feel better in the next two or three days. You'll probably be all right, though. I didn't start experiencing withdrawal from Lexapro when I cut from 10 mg. to 5 mg., but cutting the dose in half again (per doctor's instructions) was a great big OUCH and it's still hurting. Whatever you do, take the dose every day. Many doctors will tell you to taper by taking the meds on alternate days, but this advice could not be worse.

 

It would be a very good idea to get liquid Lexapro if you can. Otherwise, here are instructions for making your own:

 

How to Make a Liquid from Tablets or Capsules

 

Also, information on reinstatement:

 

About Reinstating

 

I think most of us feel that sense of alone-ness in that it's nearly impossible for others to understand what we're going through however much they may want to help. I'm sixteen months out from a too-fast taper from Lexapro myself, and still feeling the after-effects of deadened senses and being isolated by the experience. This forum has literally been a life-saver for me.

 

You'll find lots of solid information and gentle, friendly support here. Again, welcome.