☼ Hello. mammaP checking in!

[Jemima]

I'm so relieved to see that you didn't go into the hospital. I agree with Rhi that you likely would just get pumped full of more drugs which could be outright harmful to you at this point. I also agree that your "depression" is likely due to withdrawal.

 

Please consider Alto's advice about increasing your dose by one bead, and definitely follow your doctor's instructions with regard to your blood pressure!

[mammaP]

Thank you all for holding my hand over the weekend. I feel much better

today and BP has dropped. Still a bit high and the doctor said the atenonol

isn't working so I have to go back tomorrow to discuss changing it.

I said I was under stress but he said that wasn't relevant and that my heartbeat

wouldn't be as it was if it was working. I don't understand what he was talking about

but I really don't want to be messing about with more drugs right now if I can help it!

I went back up a bead but got side effects again, sweating, dizzy and pretty much like cold turkey

but will stick with it and see how it goes because I certainly feel less depressed today.

[Altostrata]

That sounds like a bad withdrawal symptom wave.

[mammaP]

Thanks Alto,this withdrawal sucks! Bit better now and convinced the stress set it all off again

but back on track now. My BP dropped very low and apparently my body is producing too much 

hormone of some sort. (awful memory cant remember what!) I now have a pack of RAMIPRIL 1.25mg.

Doc said there are no side effects on such a small dose but I've heard that before!

Googled and there are many possible side effects . BP is stable right now so am reluctant 

to start anything else. I also take atenolol and don't see why I can't cut that one if it isn't working!

I hate drugs and wish I could just flush the lot down the loo!

[Nikki]

mamap so sorry you have been going thru such a rough time.  Getting your blood pressure under control was so important and glad you did.  When it is high like that, alot of doctors will prescribe two.

 

I think that stress can produce WD symptoms, and in tapering we all have those Neuro-emotions that Healing posted about.

I also think WD can produce stress....double edged sword.

 

If you did updose and are feeling better than maybe that is part of your answer.....

 

Updosing is not a bad thing, and it doesn't mean failure or back-peddling.  It's just a matter of feeling better and I am glad you are.

 

Hugs

[mammaP]

Thank you everyone, it is lovely to have people here who understand what's going on with WD.

My family thought I'd joined some weird anti meds forum and started cutting my meds without

discussing it with the doctor! I told them what I was doing and they were a bit cross with until

they could see I was getting better.  

 

I took one of the new BP pills on Friday and was ill yesterday and today.  Really bad headache,

nausea and couldn't bear light, my body ached all over and is just starting to ease up 48 hours

later.  My BP is fine, so I'm going to leave it for a week or so to restabilise on 4 beads before I try

again. I am so sensitive to medication even tiny doses can be hellish. 

 

My son came for the weekend and it was lovely to see him,   haven't seen him for 18 months and he

came with just a few hours notice. He lives 200 miles away so it's difficult for him to get here often. I was too ill

to do anything with him but great to see him.

 

I have an appointment at orthopedics tomorrow and I'm dreading it. There were some large 'hot spots' on my

thigh which showed on a bone scan. I had more tests and tomorrow find out what's wrong and what needs doing.

I have a hip replacement and they said it could be loose joint or osteomyelitis. The loose joint was ruled out and 

if it is active infection the hip will need to be taken out, bone debrided and scraped out then packed with anti biotics 

for 3 months. 6 weeks of IV antibiotics  also. I'm hoping it is dormant infection that can be left but it's been very painful

lately. The very last thing I need is 2 lots of surgery and all the drugs involved   . 

[Meimeiquest]

Oh MammaP, so sorry to hear about your recent problems, especially that hip. Please keep us posted!

[mammaP]

The recent scan showed no change from the previous one, which is good

because I don't need surgery. To be honest I would have refused it right now,

I couldn't face another spell in hospital. They couldn't tell me what it is, they haven't

a clue! Now I'm exhausted as it's a 100 miles round trip. My son took me so that was

good. Now for some chill time. 

[mammaP]

I am stuck, window is still closed and I feel like I am back to where I was

before I started my taper. No energy, aches and pains all over and brain fog.

No motivation whatsoever Went to the shops across the street yesterday

and was so exhausted I felt physically sick and had to lie down and sleep. 

It's a beautiful day and I have no desire to go out into the sunshine. 

And so so lonely. Through the years of apathy on efexor I became a recluse and

almost completely housebound, going out only when essential. I distanced 

myself from all my friends except 3 lifelong ones who all have serious health problems

of their own.  I'm stuck, stuck in a useless body that won't carry me anywhere without

terrible pain and stuck with a broken brain. 

I have felt what it is like for my brain to be fixed and am hanging on to that.  I'm glad I

posted all the things I did a few weeks ago because I can look at the posts and remember

the feelings. 

[areyouthere]

Hang in there Mama P & hang on to that knowledge that you CAN and WILL feel better. I too am very sorry about the hip; something you don't need to deal with right now, but kudos to going to the shops... a valiant effort I know.

 

Don't kick yourself about not enjoying a sunny day... just having the sun out CAN be a lift right? You don't have to be IN it to have it have a positive effect on your being. I've slept through beautiful days myself & have found that in any situation, sleeping through a sunny day, NOT going to a family gathering etc etc instaed of kicking myself I just have to give in to that moment and give it to my body...it just makes the next "good" day that much better!!!

 

Wishing you many good days ahead.... be patient and kind to yourself. Your body will thank you for it eventually!!

 

RU  

[kaza31]

hi  mamma p, came across your post, just wanted to say I know what you are going through.. two years ago I went thru Effexor 150mg withdrawal which was tough, I think it was done to fast, and so six weeks after I stopped them, I became really ill.. (you can see all this in my introduction post)I was told by docs to go back on medication.. Since February this year ive been withdrawing again, ive always hated Effexor because of the tiredness it gave me and the sweating.. Ive been taking one bead at a time out, then when I feel any symptoms coming I stop and then continue taking out beads again..  so far ive taken 112 out of 544, the symptoms have been manageable, however lately the complete tiredness and exhaustion and lack of sleep has been the worst.. its very hard to describe the tiredness, I feel it in my head and body, like im so exhausted im dragging my body around.. its so tough isn't it.. I have had bloodworks done stating my iron is very low at 7 and thyroid results are coming back over this past three tests, so maybe this is contributing to the tiredness.... I know exactly how you feel about the lonliness, ive lost friends through their lack of understanind, they don't believe this could all be happening because of a pill, so id rather not be in company of people who don't get it, I have two friends who totally understand, one of whom has gone through anxiety problems herself.. My family are very supportive, tho sometimes I do feel I must sound like a hypochondriac with all the new symptoms coming up..no one will ever truly understand till they have been living it themselves...

  im sorry to hear that your daughter doesn't understand,, you may have already done this but one thing I did was let my mum, dad, sisters etc read stories on this and other forums to show them this is a real thing withdrawal.. they seem to be more understanding and now ask me how do you feel today, what symptoms are you getting etc then we move on and talk about other things, it makes me feel less alone in this..

  its funny tho, one person whom I  love  being in their company is my 4 year old godson/nephew to him im just his auntie whom he loves, who spoils him, and plays games with him.. he doesn't judge me or talk about me, he gives  me hugs and kisses an brightens up my day.. I love spending time with him, and when im having a really tough day, I take him to the park etc and he's so happy and excited it definitely lifts your mood.. (it may sound so silly but I sometimes believe he was meant to be born into our family, he will never know that in the truly terrible days when I thought I  couldn't go on anymore its him that makes me fight it all. I want to be there to watch him grow up and so its this that gives me the determination to fight on.. that and the fact that I want to one day experience this all when I have my own child....  Your girls will come around at the end of the day your their mummy, and a daughters love for their mother is unconditional.. I know if it is my mummy I cant be angry or not talk to her for too long before I have to speak to her..

  when you speak about the tiredness and exhaustion.. is yours all the time?? do you get really tired heavy eyes constantly like its an effort to keep them open.. that's how I feel.. that plus heaviness/fogginess in my head/lack of concentration.

  sending you my regards

all the best K x

[Nikki]

MamaP did you mean Blood Pressure Pill?  If so, they can cause fatigue.  If you feel like you are dragging yourself thru mud, it is recommended that you stop the BP medicine.  This can happen with Cholesterol medicine.

 

They induce aches and pains coupled with fatigue.

 

Google it.....glad you don't need surgery and now would not be a good time for you.  I had minor back surgery after I got of Paxil and the anesthesia threw me into a bad WD.  Don't mean to scare you.

 

Please check out the HBP med.

 

Alot of us isolated because of meds.  I tended to isolate while on Lexapro, not with any of the others.  When I realized I was doing it, I stopped and got back out  there even during Lexapro WD.

 

Sometimes we need to shut down, and give ourselves permission to do so.  Can you try to think or write down what you want to do after this WD issue.  Let your mind go to places you have wanted to go to and think in terms of being out there among people again.  It will happen, it takes time and if updosing helps then do it.

 

Lots of hugs

[mammaP]

hi  mamma p, came across your post, ................

 

when you speak about the tiredness and exhaustion.. is yours all the time?? do you get really tired heavy eyes constantly like its an effort to keep them open.. that's how I feel.. that plus heaviness/fogginess in my head/lack of concentration.

  sending you my regards

all the best K x

Thank you for your replies, Kaza, you have decribed exactly how I've been for years on Efexor!

When I started to taper I felt a little bit better with each drop, my head started to clear and the pain lessened.

It was around a year and I felt better than I had for a long long time at 5 beads and thought I was ready to quit.

WD kicked in about 3 weeks later but I came here and got back on track. That familiar fog and tiredness came back

when I reinstated but that was better than the hell of WD. Felt better with the next drop then a period of awful stress

set it all off again and I updosed, resulting in that fog and pain again but still better than WD!

I feel a bit stronger today but still can't think straight and make decisions. The last few days I couldn't string a sentence

together.  Hopefully I'm back on track and will start feeling better again. The exhaustion and pain are terrible.

Sorry you are going through this too,

Thanks everyone for being so supportive, without you all I would be completely lost with this WD, it's something

that has to be experienced to understand, and everyone here is going through it too and has true empathy.. 

[kaza31]

hi mamma p,

  at least im not on my own then when I describe the extreme tiredness and fogginess in head feeling.. The concentration thing to gets to me,, its really strange like I can sit an finish a crossword etc, do quizzes, puzzles etc that side has had not affect.. But what is strange for me is in conversations i forget what it was i wanted to tell someone or else i find myself not concentrating properly and drifting of to what their saying.. 

  someone even commented to me the other day when i was forgetting what i needed to tell them,, god u must be getting alzheimers, but i didn't find it funny, it actually scares me i could always be like this.. i too have been finding it difficult making decisions, i am due to enrol to go to university as a mature part time student, to do a early years degree for my goal is to do teaching..

  But i honestly don't know how i could even contemplate the studying when my mind is like this, it starts in septemeber.. Im thinking it may be best to leave it till next term, i just don't know... it takes four years to do the degree, and stupidly in my head i keep thinking well im 31 nearly 32 at this rate of going ill be bloody 36 before i finish.. i know that is not old, but i wanted to have down my degree long before now.. in my first withdrawal i was attending the university and i just had to stop the degree  completely was way to ill

 

honestly these tablets just feel like they have messed up my life,,ive been on them from aged 26, those are meant to be the good years in your life, i planned to have my degree done by  now and be teaching, and possibly try for a baby.. But there is no way i want to go down that road till im medication free it frightens me to much.. its been three years from my first withdrawal attempt and now im trying again, i just want it too work so badly this time, as i feel my dreams of being a teacher and mum feels further and further out of my reach.. it scares me that i might never get the chance to be a mum..

 

i know it sounds like im feeling sorry for myself i am lol,, but its hard when your dreams are always be put on hold because withdrawal is so damn hard from Effexor.im frightened that my partner will leave cuz its so hard on them too.. my biggest fear is ending up alone and never knowing what it is to have your own baby... i fight everyday to push through the withdrawal and am determined but somedays you just cant help but feel frightened and alone about what the future holds..

 

ok pull urself together girl lol ...... on the positive side i have an amazing family circle, my mum, dad, sisters, bro in laws and nieces and nephews all know what i am going through im very open about it and they are amazing.. One of my nieces aged 14 when im feeling sick or just not well. she just sits down with me and gives me big, hugs and cuddles and we watch  movies together which is lovely.... i will do it for them and more importantly for myself..

 

i hope your feeling somewhat better and wish the best of luck in your recovery

 god bless x

[mammaP]

Had a bit of an emotional day again today, discovered some money had been stolen from my purse,

not a great amount but it really upset me, it was a young lad and there is no doubt about it. I know

he has problems that way and always keep my bag out of sight but didn't realise it was accessible 

till he was gone.  I'm not sure if that is withdrawal that made me upset or just the fact that he stole

from me. It's happened before but I just shrugged it off and made excuses. That was pre taper 

when I wasn't feeling much of anything so now I'm wondering if what I felt was normal or withdrawal.

 

Tonight I went to a concert at my grandaughters school and was in tears there, it was so moving seeing

all those kids put their heart and soul into the performance. It was an Oliver Twist musical and my

grandaughter had a solo song part. I feel good again now but not sleepy yet and it's 1.40am. I was late 

taking my meds because of the show and they tend to keep me awake so it will be a while yet before I can

sleep. Hope tomorrow is a good day, I'm more than ready for a few of those! 

 

Kaz you will get better and get your life back, I know it can't be easy for you but you WILL get where you want to be.

Hopefully you will soon be able to study again while tapering. I felt a little bit better a week or so after each tiny drop 

and held it too, until I realised one day that I felt 'normal' again,  The last few weeks are a blip because I cut off too

soon but got back on track again until stress came calling! 

[mammaP]

Feeling very drained today, had a really painful night and didn't sleep at all. The painkillers had no effect whatsoever and 

couldn't get comfortable.. Whatever position I was in caused pain somewhere else and my leg was excruciating.

It was so bad I felt like going to the ER and asking them to amputate it!  Couldn't take another dose because I'm 

so sensitive they would have knocked me out cold, which was very tempting but then would have taken the whole day

to come around enough to do basic things like make a cup of tea. So I waited till 7am then struggled into the kitchen and

there on the counter were my pain killers! I hadn't even taken them so no wonder they didn't work! 

 

It did teach me one thing though and that is that I couldn't come off them like I hoped. I need them to get through 

the night otherwise I would never sleep at all.  Had to take one this morning just to move around I was so stiff, but now it's 1pm 

and still in pyjamas. 

[mammaP]

Bad bad day today, the leg pain has been excruciating plus aches all over,

Freezing cold but the thermometer said it was 18 degrees so shouldn't

have been shivering under the duvet, feels like flu and probably is, I rarely 

go out in a crowd and went to the school show so could have picked it up there.

 

I'm sorry Nikki I missed your post, I hadn't thought of the bp pill making me so tired!

I've been on it for years and the doc said it isn't working so I don't see any reason

to be on it really. My BP was fine until I started taking AD's and rose dramatically

when I was in the psych ward. No-one suggested the ADs were to blame and I've

been on bp meds  ever since. I tried a few before they settled on atenolol and have

been on that for at least 10 years. I'm not sure how to stop it, if it's ok to CT or needs

tapering, I'll google and see what I can find. Thanks for the heads up. The other one he

prescribed made me really ill for 2 days and my BP has stayed ok so I'm not going to 

take it again. I think that probably the combination of drugs has been bad for me , 

I certainly felt much better after I started to taper the efexor until the last few weeks 

when stress has took it's toll, now I'm back where I started but worse, not only am I 

exhausted but sad and depressed too. On the full dose I was constantly exhausted but

didn't feel anything. I'm scared to say anything to anyone about anything because it doesn't

always come out right and it's taken the wrong way, I thought people who loved me would

know me well enough to know that I wouldn't say anything to hurt someone, I don't complain

about things I should, in shops etc, in case I upset or offend them! 

 

Gone off a bit there! Very tired and very weepy, not suicidal but would be happy to go to 

sleep and not wake up. 

[Jemima]

I removed Nikki's post from view because, with all good intentions, she advised stopping the blood pressure medicine cold.  That is very bad advice and can lead to any number of medical problems including having a stroke.

 

BP medicine should not be discontinued abruptly.  You're right that medication that isn't doing anything for you is pointless, but please consult with your doctor as to how to go off the BP meds safely.

[annelle]

Hello MammaP,

 

just to wanted to tell you that I too got hight blood pressure after starting taking Effexor - my GP found a reading of 160/120 and put me on a BP medication called Plendil (which is a channel-blocker as far as I remeber) and then later put me on an angiotension II inhibitor called Cozaar, because my BP still was too high.

 

I am still taking BP medication, now I am taking an ACE inhibitor called Enalapril, and it is doing the job (BP usually around 120/80 at home), but makes me feel really tired (of course there could a lot of other reasons for that).

 

Hope you feel better!

[mammaP]

Hi Annelle, my doctor said the atenolol isn't working as it should because it slows down the

heart rate and mine is normal when it should be slower. He thought I hadn't been taking it

but I never miss one! The thing that scares me most is having a stroke and being unable to

do anything for myself so I'm very careful with BP and cholesterol etc. I don't think I'll ask about

coming off it while I'm titrating the effexor, don't want to upset things. 

 

I see from your sig that you stopped tramadol, if you don't mind me asking how did you do it? 

I take it for arthritis and have thought about stopping that too. because of the side effects. I can 

only take it at night and can't sleep for pain it I didn't have it but if I could find an alternative I'd like to be off 

that too. 

[annelle]

Hi MammaP,

 

Yes, I stopped taking tramadol because I felt I was getting addicted to, and it did not really take all of the pain away - also sometimes it kept me awake at night, I sometimes felt like I was on amphetamine or something.

 

I asked my GP to help me get off it, and he prescribed a benzodiazepine (called Risolid here in Denmark, I don't know the content - maybe diazepam), and I took those for about a month, bet they did not really help me. I hardly slept for a month because of restless legs, arms and trunk and shoulders. At least I thought it was restless legs syndrome, but now thinking back, it may have been akathisia instead. 

 

I only tapered off tramadol for a week (at which time I also took the benzo) so I think the problem was that I got off them too quickly. But I trusted my doctor, like we all did at some point

 

That time getting off tramadol was actually one of the worst times in my life.

 

I started to taking a pain killer which contained aspirine and a very small amount of codeine, because my chronic pain was of course still there, and it helped somewhat, but I am rarely completely free of the pain. I also take paracetamol at night, and sometimes I use Voltaren gel (diclophenac gel).

 

I could advise anybody about getting off tramadol, I would say that it would be a good thing to taper off very slowly.

 

It is almost the same story as with AD's - tramadol is said to safe with regard to dependence. But my experience says otherwise - I should add that I took max dose, which was 400 mg a day for about 3 years.

[kaza31]

hi there annelle

 

my goodness it shows how everybody systems are different when it comes to medication.. When I had gallbladder surgery I was given tramadol for pain relief and it had to be stopped.. my vision got really strange, seeing double of everything, lying in hospital bed everything around me look distorted.. felt like I had this surges of energy races all over my body..  I actually felt someone had given me  illegal drugs( not that I know what that's like) but that's how it felt.

 

any time I need pain relief since, I seem to be only able to tolerate paracetamol when taking this Effexor..

 

its only a suggestion but have you ever heard of or tried taking Epsom salt baths, ive been taking them and I really feel them helping me with body pains and aches plus they seem to be helping me get to sleep when I take the bath before bed..

 

another thing apparently is good for pain is magnesium oil which you spray on your body..

 

you may have heard of these already just thought id say anyways,, you  never know it  may work..

 

all the best x

[mammaP]

I take 2x50mg caps in the evening. I can't take them during the day because of the side effects. 

I can't drive with them I'd be downright dangerous and I have to drive.  Can't take them at night

because they keep me awake and can't keep still but after 4 hours or so the pain killing effect is

still there but they are wearing off and I feel drowsy. If I go to bed then I can get some sleep. Not

more that 2-3 hours but it's sleep. Without them I wouldn't sleep for the pain. When I was in 

hospital they gave me the full amount every 6 hours and were worried at how ill I was when I should

have been getting better. I asked to reduce the tramadol and straight away started to improve.

I wish I could take them all the time because they work on the pain for me but side effects are awful

when I take more that the 2 in a day. They seem to build up and I can't function. 

 

I'm allergic to aspirin and anti inflammatories, and paracetamol makes me very sick. I use voltarol gel

for some pain but it's no use for hips and spine, plus if I use too much it's absorbed into the skin and 

causes the same stomach problems as the tablets. Once I forgot to wash my hands after using the gel

then licked my finger and my mouth swelled up! I can't understand how I can rub it on my skin but not

take it internally!!  I tried the suppositories once............oh my word...........won't go into detail,

TMI but didn't use those again,lol. 

 

Have felt a bit better today and haven't cried so far, almost cried when I saw my little great grandaughter

toddling around and she wanted to go home with grandma but held back and took a deep breath. 

[annelle]

Hello Kaza,

 

Thank you for suggesting Epsom salt and magnesium oil. I have been meaning to try to find Epsom salt at the pharmacy, but I don't think we have it at all here in Denmark, at least I have never heard about it. I did try to make my own magnesium lotion one night, and it seemed to help a little, but that was for restless legs syndrome, not pain. I think I will try it again. I don't really recall if it helped the pain - maybe a little. It is worth a try anyway.

 

Yes, it is really strange and interesting how different medications affect people differently. I too had double vision sometimes when I took tramadol during the day, and tried not to take too many during the day for that reason,

 

Yes, mammaP,

 

sleep is so precious, if only 2-3 hours, I feel the same way. I sometimes only sleep a few hours, but then I still feel grateful that I got to sleep at all. It sounds as if tramadol has a similar effect on you as it did on me, kept me awake and feeling wired and too alert.

 

But when the alternative is pain and no sleep, the choice is easy.

 

I too started to have a problem with aspirin last autumn - at least I suspected it was the aspirine - but it also started right after I stopped taking escitalopram (almost cold turkey), so I am not quite sure what the reason was. I felt like my throat got really tight, and I could not swallow, and I couldn't catch my breath, had to sit up for air several times in bed at night. Do you get that in your throat as well? I guess it is angioedema?

 

I am also having some bad days this week, I suppose it is a wave. I get very emotional just thinking or hearing about my children and grandchildren. I love them so much and it feels so intense sometimes. Very different than when I was taking escitalopram.

 

It really is a rollercoaster of emotions. Or elevator maybe - ups and downs all the time.

 

It is very nice to hear from people who have had similar experiences with all these drugs.

 

Thank you for responding both.

[kaza31]

_{thanks for the message annelle..}

 

_{I was able to purchase my Epsom salts on amazon, it was a reputable site.. it worked out for 10kg it was £12 plus £ postage.. it came well packaged and delivered.. It seems a lot 10kg lol but I use a good bit in the bath and have even given some to my mum as she gets very sore feet after working and she soaks her fit in it and she fines it eases it.}

_{I have also been taking a magnesium supplement and it has helped me with and jerks or twitches I have experienced..}

 

_{is the pain you experience through withdraw or another cause? hope you don't think im being nosey lol}

 

_{all the best}

_{K x}

[kaza31]

hi mammaP

 

it really sounds awful for you not being able to sleep properly at night, I feel for you your dilemma with regards having to take tramadol.. if you don't take it  your in pain at night and cant sleep but on the other hand you hate the side effects it gives you..

 

is your pain primarily located in your hip and spine?? is their a cause for this??  the reason I asked is...

 

my sister after childbirth was in agony with back pain,,  they realised she had problems with her discs in spine.. for ages she was taking medication, gels, creams, heat pads everything you can think off.. Finally the pain clinic gave her a TENS machine..( im sure you know what it is) but just in case..  its four little pads that you stick on to the painful area, electrical pulses are released into the sore area and then messages are sent to the brain that your not in pain, ( not sure if I explained that right lol)  She only got it on loan for six weeks, but she found it so useful she bought one, think it cost around £60..

 

She mainly wears it during the day to work etc as she is more active,, your not allowed to wear it in bed at night.. She has found dramatic improvements.. plus she has stopped having to take her medication for pain..

 

sending your my regards

all the best

K x

[annelle]

Hi Kaza,

 

My pain which is in my left hip and leg, started in 2005, while I was on Effexor, not tapering or in withdrawal. I have never been able to establish for certain what the cause of it is. My physical therapist at one point said it was due to an instability in my pelvis.

 

But, like with a lot of other symptoms I have had during the last ten years or so, I am starting to wonder, if the pain is not due to being on AD. Or maybe I am becoming too suspicious. There could be many other explanations for it

 

I will try to get Epsom online if I can't get it next time I go to the pharmacy or drug store (I live in a rather small town, so there are many things we cannot buy here).

[mammaP]

Hi girls, I buy epsom salts online too, it cost £3 for a small tub at the chemist I couldn't believe it and it only did 2 baths!

I have arthritis in hips, knees, shoulders neck and back. It's Ankylosing spondylitis, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid all rolled into one

painful existence. I had my hip replaced 11 years ago and it went wrong. My spine twisted and pelvis tilted, it appears

that my right leg is 2ins shorter than my left but in reality they are the same length. Every step pushes my spine where it shouldn't be.

For years they couldn't or wouldn't tell me what had gone wrong but on my last visit a few weeks ago the doctor told me about the

spine and pelvis. She said it's because of the way I walk!! I was so annoyed and told her it was a direct result of surgery and it happened

while I was in theatre.  Of course they will never acknowledge that in case I sue. At first they fixed my shoes with a raised heel. I HATED

that, I LOVE shoes and hated them for what they'd done to me but no-one would/could tell me what was wrong, only that it can happen sometimes. Now I know what it is I've done some research and found out that the raised heel actually made things worse!

 

There is a new treatment available in Europe that is non invasive and re-aligns the bones so I'm looking into that at the moment.

The treatment itself isn't very costly but it would mean 2 trips abroad for it and that's what is costly so need to save pennies!

There's also AD related pain too, a consuming aching pain that covers my entire body. It comes on within an hour or so of taking my dose and I just can't wait to be off it altogether so I can be rid of some of the pain at least. And if I get my spine sorted there will always be arthritic pain but that can be managed to an extent with the right exercise etc, THEN I might be able to stop the tramadol. 

[kaza31]

ahhh mammP

 

sorry for suggesting the stupid TENS machine I thought ur pain was localised in one area.. I didn't realise it was widespread pain all over your body, otherwise I would never had even wrote that.. goodness, it sounds very painful what your going through... 

 

hears me complaining about withdrawal and your doing it as well as having severe physical pain in your body.. Ill count my blessings now definitely that I can at least go out walking in the eveinings without difficulties..

 

I really hope things start to stabilise for you on the withdrawal and that you can soon get of the tramadol too..  ill keep you in my prayers tonite that you someday can find something that will reduce all the pain your going through with regards your hip and spine..

 

your a strong woman

 

keep fighting through

 

all the best

K x

[mammaP]

Thanks Kaza, don't be sorry, you made me think about that and I'm going to look at some

because even if just one part of the pain is lessened it has to be an improvement! 

I have felt much better today and think a window is opening up for me again at last.

The last few weeks have been awful and I just had to focus on waiting for it to pass. 

I went to my son's, he has a little rowing boat in his garden that had a leak so he's

filled it with soil. I really miss gardening and he let me take it on so today I've been weeding

it and planting new plants. All at waist level and it was really good to get my hands dirty

in the garden. 

[kaza31]

Hi mammaP

 

strangely enough I love gardening too, and find when I I have been out weeding and planting flowers afterwards I feel very relaxed and in good form..

 

I remember in conversation  with my uncle the topic came up.. He is a keen gardener.. I thought it was just being out in the air, sunshine etc was the cause for my improved mood.. But apparently he said their is magnesium in soil and  it has been researched that being in the garden with hands in the soil weeding and planting flowers without gloves on has antidepressant type effects upon a person... maybe this is part of the reason we feel good afterwards....

 

With regards ur pain my sister was sent to physio first which didn't really help, then the next step was the TENS machine... 

 

Have you ever been referred to The Pain Clinic before??

 

She was referred by her GP after a lot of persuasion ( her gp kept trying to push more and more medications like amitriptyline, antidepressants, only because she refused point blank and more or less argued with the doctor that she wanted something  done)

, an appointment was then made to go to Pain Clinic and then TENS machine was given.. As it worked effectively she didn't need to go back.. Otherwise they then try to find other things to sort the pain.. 

 

Fortunately she has stopped her pain medication and just uses the TENS machine.. If she hadn't refused the suggested medications and had been knowledgable about their effects she probably would have the problem now of trying to withdraw from  various medications..

 

maybe see first if you could be referred to Pain clinic and possibly be given the TENS machine on loan to see its effectiveness...rather than going out and buying one yet.. They might also be able to give you advice about withdrawing from Tramadol etc...

 

These are just a few suggestions that helped my sister... You probably are already aware of most of it anyways..

 

take care

K x

[mammaP]

Had a bad 2 days after gardening, very stiff and painful but enjoyed it so it's worth it. 

Felt better mentally and was up early this morning. Very little sleep due to noisy neighbours

fighting until 2am but the sleep I had was good sleep. Had my neighbour in for coffee

which was nice. A bit flat and achey but improved 

[mammaP]

Had a terrible few days. Suicidal thoughts and awful anxiety. Had my first ever full blown panic attack!

That was SCARY and I feel for anyone who suffers with them. I knew what it was from what I've read

so calmed down my breathing until it subsided. 

 

I went swimming this afternoon!!! Went to the parent and child session because the water's warm

and it's quiet. Didn't do much swimming, have lost the ability to swim but have arranged for lessons 

in September.  I suddenly thought it's time to get off my butt, stop wallowing in self pity and DO

SOMETHING! I'm going to teensit at my son's tonight. ( not babies any more so not allowed to 'babysit'  )  

He's installed a power shower with massage jets and jacuzzi bath so I'm taking my epsom salts and 

will have a lovely long 'bubble' bath.

[mammaP]

Today I am bored. And tired, and in a pickle making decisions. I have so much to do and don't feel like doing any of it.

My mind is active and my body isn't. I live in a lovely spot but my neighbour downstairs has a woman in who is very

loud and drunk and they argue all the time. Screaming matches, breaking windows and the night before last it went

on all night until 7.30am, then the workmen started work in the flat above at 8am. I don't get anywhere near enough sleep 

even on a good night and need what precious little I get. 

 

So do I move or do I stay???And if I move, where to??? My daughter here still won't speak to me, completely ignores me.

I was going to move near to my other daughter but that's not a good idea now because they're going through life changes 

with work and don't know where they are going to be in 6 months from now. I feel like moving away from all of them and

starting over on my own. Getting my life back together and off psych stuff. But I also know that moving would be very

stressful and just the physical side of it, packing etc would be a mammoth operation in this fragile state of withdrawal.

But I need sleep.................and every time the screaming starts my whole body stiffens. It's such a lovely place too. 

[Altostrata]

Can you make complaints about the neighbors? Perhaps you can persuade them to move.

[mammaP]

Can you make complaints about the neighbors? Perhaps you can persuade them to move.

That comment made me laugh Alto, I'm sure it isn't what you meant but I had visions of little old white haired me standing over 2 

young(ish) loud mouth yobs with a baseball bat in hand persuading them to move. LOL.

 

The apartment is rented out by the owner and he's been told about the problems. The police have been called on numerous occasions 

too when they've been carrying on outside. The man has been in court and fined for threatening a neighbour but still it goes on.

I wanted that one myself before I moved into this one because it goes straight into the beautiful garden that's looked after by a gardener

but they wouldn't allow me to rent it because I'm a pensioner and not working! I moved into this one which is directly above and a different 

landlord. It's lovely with fantastic big rooms and gorgeous views, the other neighbours are great except for that one.

 

That picture will stay with me now, can't stop giggling, thanks Alto.