Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

☼ angie007's story


Altostrata

Recommended Posts

Stan,

 

You say not get off at 1mg - even tho i feel better having askipped dose last night??

 

Hopeful?

No hun, i have no paxil weight left, its all gone, plus more, yippeee,

just hoping diabetes isnt the reason its gone, and diabestes isnt the reason the anxiety

been so horrific for me.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Hopeful?

No hun, i have no paxil weight left, its all gone, plus more, yippeee,

just hoping diabetes isnt the reason its gone, and diabestes isnt the reason the anxiety

been so horrific for me.

 

Well try not to worry when are you getting the test?

Began Paxil 10/97*

Paxil free 10/16/04 (tapered over 2.5 months)

Severe withdrawal

12/04 started Lexapro due to Paxil w/d symptoms (tapered over 4 months)

Lexapro free 8/2/05

 

2 1/2 year severe protracted withdrawal

Doing well now with a few residual symptoms

Link to comment

Have doc apptment wednesday, for ecg and bloods on friday,

might see if they will reverse and do the bloods wednesday instead,

dont mind waiting for the ecg lol

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Stan,

 

You say not get off at 1mg - even tho i feel better having askipped dose last night??

 

 

if i understand your sentence

i say to go off at 1 mg!

it will not change much in your state

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

Link to comment

Hey Stan,

 

You may not know about menopause my friend, but you do know about withdrawal from this poison.

if you say get noff, then get off i will, thanku lol.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Unfortunately, i would prefer know much about menopause, than about this poison

 

thank you Angie and hang on, going so far is already fantastic, there is another step to do, you have to pass it!

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

Link to comment

Thankyou Stan my friend,

It means so much to be able to talk and communicate

with others who know this pill poisoning road so well.

 

Thankyou Sur for a wonderful site,

And Thankyou to all staff, especially Healing,

who have helped me so much, i really appreciate it

and dont know where id be without you all!!!!!

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Well guys,

 

Shall i shant i????

Im so fed up, i was ready to ditch this poison i really was.

I had another doctor appointment yesterday, and i showed him

the tiny tiny bit i have been taking every other day for the last week or so,

and i asked him should i just ditch it now?

As i do feel better the day i dont take it.

 

His reply was, to take it every other day for another month????????

What the heck????

Maybe, should try missing 2 days for a week,

Then 3 days for another week,

Then on the 4 th week when im due to see him again, then ditch???

 

Heck, i just dont know anymore, i feel like i damned if i do, and damned if i dont.

Either way, i know i could not have tapered any slower, i filed the tab, its taken

me since Nov 07 to get down from 20mg.

Anyone have anything to add to this??? Is this logical or just prolonging

The inevitable.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

I didn't realize you were taking the Paxil every other day, angie.

 

You have to take it every day.

 

Now, whether you stop taking it altogether right now is something we can all debate. I don't know the answer to that. You're at 1 mg? You could take 0.5 mg or even 0.3 mg less. Go off in one or two more steps. I had to do that, but I had the advantage of using liquid. Or, you could stop now.

 

But, after years of reading on the subject, I think it's very important to take *whatever* dose you're taking daily. If you take it every day or two or three, you confuse your system and cause yourself more symptoms.

 

Does that makes sense?

1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

Link to comment
  • Administrator

I agree with Healing, angie. Seroxat is not a drug to be taken every other day. You're guaranteeing yourself a very rough ride if you do that.

 

Your doctor is wrong wrong wrong to say to take it every other day.

 

I suggest you take the same small amount every day for at least two weeks, to allow your nervous system to settle down. It may take a bit. Let us know how you're doing in your Intro and Updates topic.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

you will see Angie, when you are at 0 mg, you will feel good : you are no more dependent to this pill, at last, after so many years suffering !!!!

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

Link to comment

Angie... when I finally get down to 1mg, I will dump this stuff directly into the toilet. I know from reading so much about these meds, that 1mg is doing nothing for you.

 

I can't wait to be where you are!

 

 

Charter Member 2011

Link to comment

For those who dont know my history, here it is;-

 

15th Jan 1997 rx @30mg Seroxat for grief issues.

Dec 05, virtual ct by doctor, as was starting to display symptoms of tolerance.

Off drug for 4/5 months.

Given propranellol, diazepam and prozac to cover up symptoms.

Took the 3 above from jan 06-until 4th march 06, then ct off - again by my doctor,

2 days later seizure!!!!!

 

Reinstated seroxat april 06 @ 20mg.

Have spent since NOv 07 slowly filing my way down off this TERROR drug.

With very little relief of symptoms.

Guys,

Well, am down to the tiniest little sliver of seroxat you guys ever saw now, and asked my doc about ditching?

he told me to take every other day for another month!!!

I did as he said for a week, then the terror feelings in the head started in the night while i was asleep, they were that bad they made me feel like i was going to have a seizure, it truly was scary.

So now, im back to taking this tiny amount every day, if this isnt slow tapering, then i dont know, how much slower i could have done it.

I have had every symptom in the book truly,

Akathesia, anxiety, panic attacks, relentless crying, despair, depression, suicidal thoughts, lower intense back pain, pain in back of my head/neck and shoulders, extending into my left arm with weak feelings, sleep disturbance,agoraphobia, frequent urination,shaking, jittery, feeling all of my nerves jangling and jumping throughout my body, dizzyness,feeling faint/light headed,intense nervous feelings for no reason, nauseous and so so many more.

The only thing that seems to have gotten better since this journey began in 05, is the profuse sweating!!!!

 

My mood is low, im not depressed in generaL, just sick of wasting my life being sick, i truly feel like an alien in my own mind and body. Ive broken down in front of my doctor many times, and also while talking on the phone with him, i have never , ever been in such a sorry mess as the one i find myself in today.

My husband, ah well, he is very good at the hands on stuff, shopping, paying bills, cooking a meal, but when it comes to the emotional side, its not there!!! His attitude is, i look healthy and well, therefore i am healthy and well.

Ive been accused of being a drama queen by a couple of my friends, that made me feel really good. Its all in my head, well yes, i suppose that it may well be, but when I try and explain just how im feeling, well i guess you all know, there is no point.

My appetite is shot, i just never feel hungry, although i force down a few things, just to say i have eaten, my weight has plummeted dramatically, hence all the blood tests done recently at the doctors.

 

It scares me to death, when i read things from this site and others, about other poor victims of this nightmare, who took the drug half as long as me, and still suffering years and years later.

What chance do i stand of recovery after 14 long years???

Why is slow taper so bloody hard and cruel - i thought it was meant to be tolerable.

I feel im damned taking the tiny bit im taking, and scared to death that things will get worse once i start to drop the drug, which i know i have to do, very soon.

Im frightened to death, that im just in that 1% who just cannot get off these drugs because of my very long term use, and get back to normal, hence, just feeling normal would be a god send right now.

 

All i do know is, that because of my drastic response to ct where i was totally non functional with black hole depression, suicidal thoughts, akathesia etc, i just cannot live like that again, i dont think i would make it a second time.

I have little hope, i have zero confidence, heck i dont even know who i am anymore - what sort of a drug does this to people? i am so far away from the person i used to be, the life and soul of the party, who loved life and everything in it, always up for a laugh and a joke, i cannot remember the last time i laughed.

 

If only????? i could get some relief, i really want to climb out of the seroxat hole, and im working so hard at trying to get into that place of calm, just when i thought id mastered anxiety, along came akathesia.

Its very difficult to remain optimistic, hopeful and positive, although i really do, do my best.

 

I have 2 daughters getting married this year, one in july, one in september, and i feel under pressure " to be normal", how the hell i can even contemplate going feeling like this i just dont know, and to not be there on there special day would break my heart.

Bloody GSk and there lies, they have ruined so many peoples lives with there non addictive, legal prescription wonder drug.

The only wonder is "how people survive" coming off this.

I apologise for the length of this post, just needed to talk to someone!!!!

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

hi Angie007,

 

i was 13 years on meds, our duration is similar, i have lived your perceptions, for me after two years off, many symptoms have diminished or fade away, i still have physical symptoms but the big difference is : after two years clean, i have hope

 

so you have to stop the most quickly your mg, to start the famous "period off"

 

as you i had depression, akathisia, pains, weakness, urination frequent, suicidal thoughts rarely,dizziness, nervous intense feeling and many you not spoke,

 

for me there are two steps : 1. taper to 0 mg

2. wait (unfortunately with suffering) 1,5 / 2 years and at that state your life begins slowly to change

you have done the first, jump to the second, do not lose time !

it was hard, it will be hard before you will feel better

we have been poisoned, it needs time to repair news neurons paths to replace which were fired

i have already improved, not enough, but today have hope (i doubt long months...)

i know i will not be 100%, it doesn't matter, i plan 80 % as goal in a first step

keep in mind many people(really really) would be in your actual place (i know many)

the biggest problem is this length of time

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

Link to comment

Hello Angie,

We all know it is a hell of a "wonderdrug" they pushed through our mouths. I can assure you I had the worst of the worst WD after my CT from 10 mg after 5 years. And now after 3 years I am still on the road but there is progression. I think you van REALLY better ditch the last mg of Seroxat because it does not contribute anything to your healing. MAybe even it postpones your real recovery.

I have no answer why you suffered so badly even when tapering. For some of us getting of is a ride through all circles of Hell. But I think that when off the crap, healing occurs. I am having a bad time too but I do benefit from massage therapy and kinesiology. It can help to release frozen emotions from your body.

I would say: ditch the last flinter to make place for the real healing process.

10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002
several attempts to quit since 2004
Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then
after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road

after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons
after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again!

 

Link to comment

Keep in mind many people(really really) would be in your actual place (i know many)

 

This is an excellent point. The glass is half full, angie. This is a fantastic achievement that you have tapered off slowly from 2007 to 2011. Well done!

 

I think it's time to stop taking the poison. You sound like you have a lot of fear of that step, and that something new drastic is going to happen to you. It's not. You experienced seizure and suicidality in CT. This will be totally different.

 

There was someone on the other site who had a grueling taper. She was very afraid to stop. When, she did, she got dramatically better. She did not have a difficult post-taper at all. I can't guarantee that for you, but I'm nearly certain you will feel the same or better, not worse.

 

1) Weddings. You can absolutely go to the weddings, but you might have to make adjustments. You could have a room that you could go to freely for breaks. Maybe even schedule a rest between the ceremony and the speeches. If you know you have an escape route or a planned break, it will make it all easier.

 

2) Normal. Lower your sights. You're putting too much pressure on yourself and that's making your symptoms *worse*. Just allow yourself to be sick, and aim for taking care of yourself, and maybe contributing a little bit to the weddings.

 

3) Eat. You should eat whether you feel like it or not. I went through a period -- can't remember when now, taper or early post-taper? -- when I had zero appetite. But you need food to heal, so you just make yourself eat a portion of healthy food several times a day.

 

You've already handled so much, angie. You will get through this. And you will even gain wisdom and growth from it. There's nothing to panic about. You're doing it!

1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

Link to comment

Angie, go for it. Folks are right. Time to go poison-free. It's more of a nocebo effect now than anything else - you're being afraid of stopping it, and it's truly understandable in your fragile state. *But* it's really time - ditch the minute rest and keep walking on your own. You will make it!

2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression

2008 - Paxil c/t

Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving

 

 

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once”

Albert Einstein

 

"Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!"

Surviving Antidepressants ;)

 

And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking.

Link to comment

Angie, there really isn't anything I can add to what the others have said. It isn't easy getting through the time it takes, but you do eventually get your life back I am evidence of that. As far as the weddings go I do believe you will be able to go and agree with Healing just plan ahead and have a place to go to if you feel you need a break. There were many times throughout w/d I did things for my children when I didn't think I could...the w/d anxiety itself makes you think you can't do things that would normally come easy, but in reality you can.

Began Paxil 10/97*

Paxil free 10/16/04 (tapered over 2.5 months)

Severe withdrawal

12/04 started Lexapro due to Paxil w/d symptoms (tapered over 4 months)

Lexapro free 8/2/05

 

2 1/2 year severe protracted withdrawal

Doing well now with a few residual symptoms

Link to comment

Hi Angie.......

 

 

I wish to apologize for being unable to respond to your PM. Many times, I get easily shot into trauma mode (at the drop of a hat) when I have to relive or recount my experience.

 

 

Other times, I can share some thoughts (as long as I can control the flow) without it having too serious of an effect on me ATM. Consequently, it's best for me to offer support as my system and psyche will permit. I hope you can understand and thus, not personalize my inability at the time of receiving your PM.

 

 

I have constructed this post with many spaces between the paragraphs to allow for an easier read. I know I become overwhelmed when there is too much text ....it can mess up one's brain, thus, creating a cognitive overload effect, not to mention, heighten anxiety. So, try to read one paragraph at a time, mentally digesting each portion before moving onto the next paragraph. This should minimizing your system from becoming overloaded.

 

 

I apologize for the length of this post but I thought it was best to share as many thoughts while I can since, tomorrow may not permit me to discuss the subject with as much ease.

 

 

First off, many blessings to all the wonderful members who have offered you SOUND advice, as well as extended their spirits to help ease your confusions and fear.

 

 

I must agree 100% regarding their recommendations to get OFF the drug now. It's time Angie.

 

 

Now, I know what you must be thinking.... IF I feel this horrid after making a 10 percent cut, how the hell am I going to feel if I make a 100% cut in dose at this time? The thought is very frightening isn't it? In fact, can be psychologically immoblizing.......paralyzing one into a state of not taking any action one way or another.

 

The reason I know all this is because this is exactly how I felt. I was terrified out of my mind to jump off the last 1 mg. due to being so violently sick and bedridden, throughout my whole taper.

 

 

I felt insane on so many levels, having daily panic attacks lasting 2 - 2 1/2 hours every single day for several months (once I got to the lower doses). Being alone to deal with daily incapacitations, fear, terror, violent sickness only added more fear into the mix.

 

 

Angie, once we get down to these low doses the drug washes out of our system at a faster rate (I believe) and thus, the WD effects can become more pronounced. However, when one is in tolerance WD the brain is screaming like mad for increased doses couple with the WD effects of the last dose reduction we made.

 

 

 

I was shocked at just how increbibly severe tolerance WD can be DESPITE being on such a tiny dose of medication. I still can't believe how, for example, 1 mg of tolerance WD could create daily panic attacks, not to mention a huge long list of other symptoms.

 

 

What needs to happen right now is for you to ditch the drug so your brain will only have the task of WD from it rather than having to deal with the tolerance factor. Forigive me if I'm not articulating or wording this effectively, but it's the only way I know how to describe what I experienced and how I have come to define it (in simple terms) within myself.

 

 

 

As long as you stay on the drug, you will not begin the healing process. Staying on the drug (at this stage of tapering) is keeping the tolerance cycle going and it will not stop until you stop taking the drug.

 

 

Angie, I've been in several other groups and I've witnessed people who, in tolerance WD, tapered down far below 1 mg ...only to succeed in prolonging their agony.

 

 

 

I myself tried to taper below 1 mg however, it becomes very tricky accurately measuring such tiny doses and thus, I've come to realize that this also adds to the problem since, the brain is now being fed teeny, but inaccurate doses, thus causing confusion to the brain. Now this would not be a problem for those who have not developed tolerance to the drug. However, those of us who have and depending upon the degree of tolerance that has been developed, these very teeny dose fluctuations can have a very profound, negative effect thus, creating more intense suffering.

 

 

I regret not jumping off the drug sooner TBH. BTW, those who tapered down below 1 mg did NOT recover any sooner, nor encounter any lower degree of WD effects than those who jumped off 1 mg or a bit above.

 

 

 

The day I jumped off my last dose (1 mg) the daily panic attacks were significantly reduced and the extreme paralyzing organic terror and fear levels were not as extreme. Goes to show how such a teeny dose of drug can have such a intense negative effect.

 

 

I know many people, once they were off the drug, felt no worse than when they were on the drug (eg tiny dose but in tolerance WD). Other people felt less tortured off the drug than on a tiny dose. This is evidence that staying on the drug perpetuates the sickness since, the tolerance cycle effect will only become disabled once we are OFF the drug. I hope I'm relaying this in a clear enough manner.

 

 

Note: there are varying degrees of tolerance WD that can develop. Those with milder tolerance don't suffer as intensely as those in severe tolerance states.

 

 

Angie, you are going to be okay........in fact, likely better than what you are doing ATM. I know this is a very frightening stage in the tolerance WD process but, at some point, you must release yourself from the clutches of this drug. You must feel the fear and do it anyway. No amount of fear is going to solve this problem. In fact, it will prevent you from taking the necessary action required to set yourself free.

 

 

As you know from experience, being held hostage by this drug, in such a profound manner, is psychologically torturous. Once you ditch the last dose you will be psychologically free from this bondage.

 

 

 

I sobbed uncontrollably, with relief, a few days after stopping the last bit of drug since, I was FINALLY SET FREE......free from two long years, in violent, bedridden sickness from tolerance WD......hanging on for my life.

 

 

You're going to be okay Angie. In fact, you may feel 50 percent more functional than you are now. Heck, even if you get 30 percent relief it will feel like a gift.

 

 

 

Okay, I will send this off since, I can't share any more thoughts ATM regarding this particular subject but I may add more thoughts another time. Right now, I'll have to cease discussion as to not highjack too many more memories or emotions.

 

 

 

Again, I sincerely apologize Angie for not responding to your PM. I just wasn't capable of doing so at the time. Although I can joke around and write on other matters, some days with a degree of ease, I'm afraid my ability to discuss details of my actual WD experience, is very much limited many days.

 

 

 

Today, I feel okish enough to share some thoughts and I hope this makes up for my inability the other day.

 

 

 

Perhaps you can take a few days to set up your environment..... line up a few supports in preparation. Additionally, you can psychologically prepare yourself for the day by viewing it in terms of "a sacred day" and utilizing empowering language such as: "The Delightful Drug Ditching Day".

 

 

 

I know it takes courage to take this final step but trust me when I say, it's a decision you will NEVER regret! Please re-read the very valid points that others have presented since, each person has offered some great advice and wisdom that truly needs to be embraced.

 

 

Oh BTW, I almost forgot about the seizure factor. Angie, although this may have happened to you when jumping off higher doses, it's likely next to impossible to occur from jumping off a mere 1 or 1.5 mgs.

 

 

Punarbhava

To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

 

Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still.

(Chinese Proverb)

 

I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?"

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Guys,

 

Well after sleeping very well last night, i woke this morning feeling positive and

confident that i could beat the beast that is paxil wd.

 

I got up and came downstairs, and started pulling the blinds, when i was hit with

what felt like " flashes" that seemed to come from my head and eyes, it made me shaky

and jittery, and i felt sick, i was dizzy/light headed. had a few stabbing pains around

the temple area, thought i was going to pass out to be honest, but thankfully,

i didnt, i have to admit that after 10/15mins this passed, but have felt a bit shaken by it

and my head has felt a little weird and tight at the back of my neck today too.

I have also had another experience today that has ramped up my anxiety!!!!

 

But you know, i was thinking, i went to bed last night with the laptop, and it suddenly

struck me, i lost 3 teeth in wd, they cracked and broke and fell out, the roots are still there!!!!

I have been unable to go to the dentist to get this fixed because of the akathesia type anxiety,

but because its playing on my mindnow, i guess i must face the demon and go and get this sorted out

once and for all - at least it will be one less thing to worry about!!

 

Anyway, my reason for writing is, has anyone else experienced anything like the above in wd????

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Hi Guys,

 

Well after sleeping very well last night, i woke this morning feeling positive and

confident that i could beat the beast that is paxil wd.

 

I got up and came downstairs, and started pulling the blinds, when i was hit with

what felt like " flashes" that seemed to come from my head and eyes, it made me shaky

and jittery, and i felt sick, i was dizzy/light headed. had a few stabbing pains around

the temple area, thought i was going to pass out to be honest, but thankfully,

i didnt, i have to admit that after 10/15mins this passed, but have felt a bit shaken by it

and my head has felt a little weird and tight at the back of my neck today too.

I have also had another experience today that has ramped up my anxiety!!!!

 

But you know, i was thinking, i went to bed last night with the laptop, and it suddenly

struck me, i lost 3 teeth in wd, they cracked and broke and fell out, the roots are still there!!!!

I have been unable to go to the dentist to get this fixed because of the akathesia type anxiety,

but because its playing on my mindnow, i guess i must face the demon and go and get this sorted out

once and for all - at least it will be one less thing to worry about!!

 

Anyway, my reason for writing is, has anyone else experienced anything like the above in wd????

 

Hi Angie,

 

This sounds like the optical migraines I get that are not related to withdrawal. When that happens to me, I have to lie down and turn off all the lights until it passes.

 

My god, you lost 3 teeth? That would cause me anxiety big time. My heart goes out to you.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment

yes it seems ophtalmic migraine, i have sometimes, but mine after the 15 minutes or more do not give me headaches

when it comes, better is to sit and wait it pass

 

cheer up Angie

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

Link to comment

I've had all sorts of varying pains and sensations in my head while withdrawing that are simply hard to put into words. The severity and strangeness of them were awful. Mind you, I went off two drugs at the same time without a taper.

I've had flashes, crackling sensations, stabbing pains, shocks, lots of pressure, among other things. Sometimes my head felt like it was just going to explode. There are other things I could add that are simply too hard to convey. I could try but you all might be like: "huh?". I quite honestly feel like I've had every conceivable uncomfortable and strange feeling a person could have in their cranium and in their body. I really think any and all kind of strange and new sensations are possible. As uncomfortable as they feel, know that you're not alone. We've all had them to some degree or other. Perhaps it's withdrawal or the aforementioned migranes...

 

Sorry to hear about your teeth. Is that from clenching?

I'm surprised I didn't break some teeth the way I clenched my teeth and how my jaw would lock!

Link to comment

Hi Purnhabava,

 

Thankyou so much, you explained that wonderfully.

I know whats keeping me at this sliver, and its the

irrational fear of getting worse once off completely.

How ridiculous is that!!!

 

How can that tiny bit of this poison, make me feel anything,

other than sick, as i think your right, and i never looked

on this as a tolerance issue, maybe i should have.

All i know is that since getting down to tiny tiny doses,

i have had those day long panic attacks, the anxiety can be cruel,

along with the mental head stuff and the akathesia.

 

So i guess, as you described this so well, you have experience

of this too.

So i have decided that in order to change things, i have to make changes!!!

 

It surely cant be as bad as ct?

That is another fear too, as i was incapacited badly and basically

non functional, that was some scary stuff i tell you, along with

the deep deep depression, intense crying and no sleep for weeks.

 

I then got given a cocktail of prozac, propranellol and diazepam

which i took for a few months, then i contacted my doctor to say

it wasnt working to relieve symptoms, and he ct me off that lot too.

Thats what caused the seizure - it was induced by ct withdrawal of 3

different meds, plus, he never told me i was suffering from wd from paxil,

i just thought i was ill and dying from some incurable disease, that

all these doctors id seen had missed.

It was a hell of a time, and i went 4.5 months with no paxil then,

until they reinstated me at 20mg as opposed to the original 30mg.

 

I am going to give myself 2 days from today to sort my head out, and

get some support as in friends etc, then im going to go for it.

DFD drug free day!!!!!!

I have to get better, i have to get myself well again, as this is not the

person i used to be before paxil, and at the end of the day,

i have 2 weddings to attend this year, both my daughters.

I have waited a long time for this to happen, and to be able to go

in comfort would be my ultimate dream, plus paxil free of course.

 

Thankyou so much for driving home the need for me to ditch this drug,

Its only fear of the fear thats kept me here for far too long.

I am glad we have this website where we can talk freely and openly

about how we feel, its a God send, along with everyone here who has been

kind enough to support me and offer there advice, now its high time

i listened and took heed of what im being told.

Thankyou all!!!!!

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

I then got given a cocktail of prozac, propranellol and diazepam

which i took for a few months, then i contacted my doctor to say

it wasnt working to relieve symptoms, and he ct me off that lot too.

Thats what caused the seizure - it was induced by ct withdrawal of 3

different meds, plus, he never told me i was suffering from wd from paxil,

 

Angie, I need to read this all more carefully later (especially Punar's wonderful and illuminating post), to be really up-to-date.

 

But I had an "aha!" moment when I read that paragraph I'm quoting here.

 

I've been on benzos (different ones, different doses) for almost a lifetime (unfortunately) because it was prescribed as an anticonvulsant for epilepsy I have. Going off any anticonvulsant without tapering can cause a seizure, because benzos work on that part of the brain.

 

I thought that only happened to people like me, who already had epilepsy. But recently I've been reading more and more about benzos, and I found on some benzo groups people who don't have epilepsy and never had a seizure before in their life (and never did again) had seizures when they didn't taper off benzos.

 

I've also found that withdrawal from other medications, including paxil, can cause what feel like seizure symptoms at first. That alarmed me, of course, when I felt them in paxil withdrawal. I was afraid I'd have seizures because I had muscle jerking and things like that. But I didn't have actual seizures.

 

I've learned on other groups that muscle jerking and other neurological symptoms are known to occur for a while in SSRI withdrawal, especially people who go off too fast. But that's a different thing, and very annoying (to say the least!) but not seizures and not dangerous. You may not have this - most people don't - but I want you to know if this should occur after going off paxil, it's almost certainly just one more maddening withdrawal symptom but not going to turn into seizures, and most importantly, not dangerous!

 

(And by the way, I went off paxil much too fast - a virtual cold-turkey because my body didn't have time to have the stages of healing that I think do occur when people taper slowly, even though the full healing really happens when totally off the medication. Since you tapered slowly this time, it's very likely you won't even have the muscle jerking. But if you do get some at some time, don't worry about it and it isn't a seizure.)

 

But the cold turkey off the benzo in the past could certainly have caused the seizure you had. That's why it's especially important to taper off benzos. Doctors still don't know how to taper off antidepressants properly, but your doctor should have known that about benzos! The medical profession is aware of that!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

Link to comment
  • Administrator

I demolished a couple of fillings because of teeth clenching in withdrawal, had to get crowns instead. Plus a rubbery night guard thing to protect my teeth while I was sleeping (or trying to). (More recently, I've developed jaw-clicking, which I think is due to jaw tension, it comes and goes.)

 

Earlier in withdrawal syndrome, I also became light-sensitive and got a few migraines from that. Reflection of sunlight on shiny cars would set me off. Fortunately, the migraines stopped. I was never susceptible to migraines before Paxil.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

After tapering from this drug in what seems to be forever,

42 measly months from just 20mg, i just have to share this with everyone.

 

Today i woke to awful anxiety yet again, so i pottered around and kept busy,

as i always do, its my distraction, but its very tiring, i must walk miles

in a day lol, just to distract, anyway now for it,

 

Come the afternoon, the anxiety and all it brings left,

i then " FELT NORMAL", and that is a first in all of my time of tapering,

i never believed it was possible to feel normal again, and had forgotten what that feels like,

it was good, something i will never take for granted again, and cant wait for many more of those moments too.

 

So i now have hope that one day all of this really can and will go away!!!#

Hope this helps someone else out there suffering too.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

After tapering from this drug in what seems to be forever,

42 measly months from just 20mg, i just have to share this with everyone.

 

Today i woke to awful anxiety yet again, so i pottered around and kept busy,

as i always do, its my distraction, but its very tiring, i must walk miles

in a day lol, just to distract, anyway now for it,

 

Come the afternoon, the anxiety and all it brings left,

i then " FELT NORMAL", and that is a first in all of my time of tapering,

i never believed it was possible to feel normal again, and had forgotten what that feels like,

it was good, something i will never take for granted again, and cant wait for many more of those moments too.

 

So i now have hope that one day all of this really can and will go away!!!#

Hope this helps someone else out there suffering too.

 

That is great to hear. I am so happy for you as you have suffered so much.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

Link to comment

Great news, Angie!

Began Paxil 10/97*

Paxil free 10/16/04 (tapered over 2.5 months)

Severe withdrawal

12/04 started Lexapro due to Paxil w/d symptoms (tapered over 4 months)

Lexapro free 8/2/05

 

2 1/2 year severe protracted withdrawal

Doing well now with a few residual symptoms

Link to comment

Oops! I just bookmarked your saying this on Claudius' "After Being Healed" thread, before I saw this thread!

 

Well, it bears repeating! Congrats! This shows your brain *is* capable of this state of well-being. :)

1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

Link to comment

it is a very good sign to give hope, these "windows" will be more frequent and more long,

i experience only partial windows actually

i am happy for you angie, wait... it will come

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

Link to comment

Well guys,

 

It seems to have taken me forever to make the decision about parting company with paxil.

After my good 25 min glimpse of normality yesterday, all the crap returned.

I went to bed crying, feeling very weird, i can only imagine it felt something like a

"bad trip". As ive never done drugs of any description apart from paxil, i can only

imagine thats what i experienced last night, really weird and off.

It disturbed my sleep, as it was going round constantly in my mind, as to why? and how bizarre

it really was.

 

Got up this morning, feeling very teary ad unwell, almost feels like im being poisoned.

So now, as my dose is so so low, and just crumbles into powder in my mouth,

IM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I will explain here to you all, that my scale in the Uk weighs ounces.

10mg paxil weighs 440z.

5mg weighs 220z

 

What im ditching is a tiny tiny piece that weighs 1.5ounces.

 

Someone ???? please tell me it doesnt get any worse once off??

I have to do this now, or im afraid i never will.

Just going to need some support and reassurance ive done the right thing to get me through.

It will be lovely, not to have to worry about paxil anymore, its been awful chopping and filing tabs

and making sure they are accurate, but ive done my best.

Now i realise that the only TRUE way to heal is by ditching the poison, and i just hope,

that my glimmer of normality yesterday will give me the positivity and hope i need

that i will be ok, and i can do this.

 

Thankyou all, and looking forward to better, happier times, please GOD

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Thanks to all for the warm responses,

it makes perfect sense now, heck i dont know why its taken me so long

to see whats created my problem, paxil brain dead i guess lol.

 

Anyway, i have now taken your advice, and will not be taking anymore

of that poison, in fact i have binned it first thing this morning.

 

My last tiny dose was on the 6th may 2011.

Froma now on I consider myself far from out of the woods,

but in the healing phase, and im praying like mad

that it works for me!!!!!

Thankyou all for your support, like arnie says,

I WILL BE BAK lol.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment
  • Administrator

[angie, please put your updates in your Intro topic]

 

That was a window you had, angie.

 

As to whether it will get better, we don't know. You're between a rock and a hard place. Either decision could be right or wrong, or even lead to the same place.

 

Hang in there, we're here for you. Let us know what happens now you've decided on this road.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Angie -- what do you think about this as an experiment? --

 

Whenever you notice yourself worrying about what's going to happen next, try either 1) let the thought go and focus on breathing into your belly and relaxing your muscles -- just for 5 seconds. Then, you can go back to worrying if you need to.

 

Or, 2) substitute an image of yourself happy, Paxil-free, doing something. Make the image as specific as you can -- weather, sights, smells, touch, taste. Again, just aim for 5 seconds. Then, you can go back to worrying.

 

It's not humanly possible to turn off normal human anxiety like a light switch. It's even less possible to turn off w/d-induced anxiety like a light switch.

 

But every 5 seconds that you make the effort to redirect your attention contributes to shaping your healing brain just a tiny bit faster. I'm going to post a new thing I heard about this on the Neuroplasticity Topic in Finding Meaning.

1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

Link to comment

Well ive ditched once and for all.

 

Today the anxiety has been at an all time low, and im really hoping that

this trend will continue, yes i was a little teary today, thinking about

all we have suffered and the length of time i have wasted, but its done, its over.

 

I now plan on trying to pick up the threads to my life again, as ive lived a very

limited existence while tapering due to the horrific symptoms.

Lots of my friends have moved on, i just wasnt in that place where i could meet up

for lunch or go to the pub or cafe etc, all i focused on was my symptoms, and how i

was feeling, many here will attest to that im sure, but these were friends, friends who had little

idea.

 

Its not going to be an easy task im sure after such a long time, but i feel today is as good

as any, i plan to start as i mean to go on, and with little anxiety i think its doable!!!

 

Since my " first window" a couple of days ago, ive read so much on tackling anxiety,

and realise that through my FEAR, i have allowed it to get more than comfortable in the

armchair of my mind, and allowed it to drive me often out of control and into panic mode.

I dont particularly class it as my friend lol, but if i have to make friends with it, knowing

that its only my body doing its job in order to protect me, then so be it, thats what i will do,

as one thing i have learnt is, that no matter how scary these attacks become, there is nothing at

the end of them, and each time i fear that fear, i empower it.

 

Maybe without the FEAR drug inside of me, i will be able to cope with less fear, as i was never ever

a fearful, anxious,person before tapering, and faced many many awful things in my life without resorting

to any meds of any kind.

 

So beware anxiety!!!!!

I will not fight with you anymore, move in and stay as long as you like,

because each time you visit, gives ME more power over YOU, i do not FEAR you

anymore, as i now remember who i used to be, and i quite liked who i was,

a confident,loving, happy person, who loved life and feared nothing!!!!!

And YOU!!!! are not going to stop me being ME anymore.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy