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☼ angie007's story


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Well guys,

 

Im back with an update, in an endevour to pick up the threads to my life again, i decided that prior to paxil and while still on it, i i used to breed pomeranian puppies, which i sadly rehomed in 05 when i ct off, as i was too ill to take care of them, so i thought getting another pup would kick start me back into life again, motivate me to get up and get me out the house, plus i could get back in the show ring amongst many old friends id made over the years.

 

So on thursday to undertook the huge task of driving, i had arranged to meet the woman on the m6 motorway,which is quite a drive from here which i did, i was excited about going but far from feeling good.

I did it, i made it,and the puppy is gorgeous, so glad i have her.

 

Since though it has ramped up an awful lot of wd symptoms for me, especially the nerve jangling cns, the mental stuff which was quite bad friday and saturday, today seems more the cns tho.

Am wondering if the long drive about 2/5 hours each way and i drove, was over stimulating!!

If this is indeed the case, any idea how long it takes to settle back down again????

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Hey Angie,

 

no one can tell. It could be some hours or days. When I stimulated my cns with sports in the beginning of wd, it could took me 2 weeks to feel better again. Though I did heavy weightlifting for an hour. That's no comparison to driving a car.

It is good to try to go on with normal life, but always be cautious, do not do too much, even not if you feel better for some time!

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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Puppy!! I have thought of getting one too, but think I'm not ready.

 

Still, it's one of those Catch 22s where you need to do stuff to lift your spirits and have something to look forward to, but have to be careful not to throw things off balance. It is so hard to know what is too much. And also, I don't know if it's the same for you, but sometimes I push myself and am OK, and other times even a small push that I think will be fine throws everything off.

 

I hope you settle back very soon!

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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Well heres another update to my journal.

 

Afer my long drive to fetch my puppy who has settled in amazingly well i have to add and is a very loved member of my family, the cns nerve shakiness and jitters remained for the next 3 days, but today really has to be the very pits.

 

I started to write my husbands wedding speech for my daughters forthcoming wedding last night, and left it on the computer to be finished off, went to bed and slept all night.

Within minutes of opening my eyes this morning, the speech was on my mind, the reality of how soon it was, the overnight stay at a hotel with the grooms parents, the what ifs started, what if i have anxiety/panic, what if i do not come across as normal on the day? what if im too anxious for breakfast the next day after my stay etc , bloody etc.

 

This then escalated the panic, the thoughts of illness kicked off, the fear of ambulances, hospitals and dying.

Where in GODS NAME did all this come from, this is so not me at all, the anxiety levels all day have been totally intolerable, but i made it through, how??? i dont know, pacing, breathing and trying to reassure myself that all of this is temporary and will pass.

 

And it did of course, after my doctors appointment this afternoon ( see thread on inner ear imbalance).

Is this all part of wd too???? I tried every technique i know to relieve the anxiety and nothing worked, relaxation, breathing, cds, cbt techniques, you name it i tried it,

i was so tempted to take 2mg diazepam, but i just couldnt do it, i made it through today with absolutely nothing at all, except the help of my good friend squirrel, thankyou

for being there for me, i couldnt have done it without you.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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  • Administrator

Oh, ang, try not to worry about this wedding. Remember how your other daughter's wedding went, you were so nervous but it all turned out beautifully and you had a lovely day.

 

Don't add to your neuro-emotion by worrying about your neuro-emotions!

 

You have a new puppy! You'll cuddle it and it will cuddle you back. Sounds delightful.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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angie,

 

I really feel your pain. I have the same. The anxiety, the fear of being sick and not being able to function on a daily basis, the fear of not being normal again.

 

Last Sunday I took 1 mg of diazepam, my anxiety was big and I have to look after my daughters while my husband was working. It does work wonderful, I had a normalish day, went to swimming lessons and enjoyed the girls. You can't imagine how much a pray every day to be able to just do that - enjoy my girls and work without panicking and feeling all this sensations. On Monday the anxiety came back and off course my mind started asking for the valium, it is so easy to take it and finish the pain but I know in the long run it will just make everything worse, therefore no valium.

 

We have to keep walking until one day we are recovered.

 

You have been so strong all these years, I know you can do it.

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Angie, congrats on making it through a rough day benzo free! It is so unfair that when the anxiety grips us, even if we can see that it's neuro-emotion, we still have to get through it. And you did!

 

Perhaps the wedding events will be supportive and nurturing for you. And it will be a great day for your daughter and new son-in-law. And you will have a lovely time.

 

Very best wishes to you, and pats and loves to your new furry friend.

History is approximate; I didn't track my dosages.

 

1995 - started zoloft/sertraline for depression

1995-2008 - sertraline ranged from 100-200mg, may have gone as high as 250mg

2006 - 2009 - added welbutrin/budeprion SR, 150 mg

sometime in 2009-2010 - stopped budeprion c/t

sometime around 2009-2010, Tapered down sertraline w/o guidance to 50 mg, then 25mg.

~ feb 2010, stopped sertraline.

~ Apr 2010, resumed 25mg low dose (really bad business trip)

Oct 2010, stopped sertraline

Jan 2011 - another bad business trip "breaks" my sleep.

 

current issues include insomnia, anxiety, GI distress, depression.

Taking multivitamins, Vitamin D, fish oil, Chinese herbs, ~ 0.5mg melatonin in the evening.

Going to therapy and acupuncture once a week.

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Awww guys, thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much.

 

Today has been another rotten day - slow taper??? what did i ever do to deserve this, and no!!!! there is no way im wearing the martyr cap or siting on that darn pity pot anymore, but today hasnt been good at all.

 

Had to get up in the night for the bathroom, it was dark, have no idea what time it was, but got back into bed and was unable to sleep, bloody husband snoring all night lol, but it annoyed me, must have dozed off again at some point, but didnt feel mentally good when i woke up, then you guys know how it works, the mental stuff kicks off the physical, the nausea, feeling unwell, jittery, shaky, headache, weak feelings, jelly legs, faint feelings. Oh and the crying been pretty much relentless too. Then lo and behold we get thundering and lightening, and i feel like an electrical feeling through out my body, how strange, does anyone know if we can be affected by the weather!!!!!

 

Its now 6.30pm and im sat in my bed teary and alone and desperate not to be feeling sorry for myself, as i just cannot allow myself to go to those places where self sympathy take us to.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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I really do not think that i have sleep apnoe, please correct me if im wrong, but i do not snore, have no issues right now with sleeping, do not suffer daytime fatigue , do not wake with sore throat, and do not suffer with blood pressure issues.

 

I really think that most of my symptoms are down to cns probs and maybe fibromyalgia issues caused by paxil, and of course the dreaded anxiety /panic that most of us go through in wd - but if others feel that there is any reason that sleep apnoe is a possibility then of course id like to hear from you and would definately get checked out.

 

I think the pain is caused by antidepressants too I cannot prove it but I have thought it for a long time the closest thing I have found to proof is already posted under serotonin syndrome or fibro or some title quite like that sorry my memory fails me at times. You might want to read it. And hello Ang nice to make your acquaintance.

This first year off will test you but hold strong by the second years you will be able to look back and see how far you have come. I personally experienced tons of pain it is one of my biggest issues epson salt baths helped me I too could not tolerate magnesium but epson salts is magnesium in the bath not sure why but for some reason the tub was ok. Deep relaxation if you can get there helps as does heat on the spine. I made myself a heat pack filled with seeds I pop into the microwave don't know how I would have made it thru without that small invention. My fav relaxation device is this heat pack on my back at 45 degree angle and head phones with the ocean dark dark room alone..

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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I really do not think that i have sleep apnoe, please correct me if im wrong, but i do not snore, have no issues right now with sleeping, do not suffer daytime fatigue , do not wake with sore throat, and do not suffer with blood pressure issues.

 

I really think that most of my symptoms are down to cns probs and maybe fibromyalgia issues caused by paxil, and of course the dreaded anxiety /panic that most of us go through in wd - but if others feel that there is any reason that sleep apnoe is a possibility then of course id like to hear from you and would definately get checked out.

 

I think the pain is caused by antidepressants too I cannot prove it but I have thought it for a long time the closest thing I have found to proof is already posted under serotonin syndrome or fibro or some title quite like that sorry my memory fails me at times. This is an edit I found the post it is at this thread:

Cymbalta for Fibro

 

You might want to read it. And hello Ang nice to make your acquaintance.

This first year off will test you but hold strong by the second years you will be able to look back and see how far you have come. I personally experienced tons of pain it is one of my biggest issues epson salt baths helped me I too could not tolerate magnesium but epson salts is magnesium in the bath not sure why but for some reason the tub was ok. Deep relaxation if you can get there helps as does heat on the spine. I made myself a heat pack filled with seeds I pop into the microwave don't know how I would have made it thru without that small invention. My fav relaxation device is this heat pack on my back at 45 degree angle and head phones with the ocean dark dark room alone..

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Awww guys, thank you so much for your kind words, they mean so much.

 

Today has been another rotten day - slow taper??? what did i ever do to deserve this, and no!!!! there is no way im wearing the martyr cap or siting on that darn pity pot anymore, but today hasnt been good at all.

 

Had to get up in the night for the bathroom, it was dark, have no idea what time it was, but got back into bed and was unable to sleep, bloody husband snoring all night lol, but it annoyed me, must have dozed off again at some point, but didnt feel mentally good when i woke up, then you guys know how it works, the mental stuff kicks off the physical, the nausea, feeling unwell, jittery, shaky, headache, weak feelings, jelly legs, faint feelings. Oh and the crying been pretty much relentless too. Then lo and behold we get thundering and lightening, and i feel like an electrical feeling through out my body, how strange, does anyone know if we can be affected by the weather!!!!!

 

 

Its now 6.30pm and im sat in my bed teary and alone and desperate not to be feeling sorry for myself, as i just cannot allow myself to go to those places where self sympathy take us to.

 

I will admit here that I skipped the posts between the one I answered above to this one as I am tired. I am very affected by the weather headaches body pain and other wd symptoms kick in I know when a storm is coming even when the weather man doesn't. It has been a bad summer here in Canada even when it is hot the barometric pressure is off the chart either way I loose rain pain sunny pain. sux

These feelings you have will come and go some days the first year out I was mad as a hatter in both ways crazy mad and angry mad when you are well enough to do some other things it helps with this issue too. Hang in there it is a rough ride but it gets better in time.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Guys,

 

I havent been in here in 14 long days now, due to having no internet connection so im happy to be back.

 

Over the last couple of weeks, ive had one decent week where symptoms were very minimal indeed, and a lot of that time, i felt pretty darn normal to be honest,only to have t all resurface again, exacerbated by the fact that i picked up a cold/flu virus which is still hanging on after 14 days, and the fact that everything i tried to do last week went wrong, from tyres blowing out on my car - which could have caused a major accident, to kettle and toaster going kaput, its been a darn nightmare and made me really really low. Even the darn limo i booked for my daughters wedding on saturday developed a major fault friday evening - wedding was saturday, its been a nightmare week.

 

Anyway, just checked in to let everyone here know the wedding was beautiful and i managed to get through the day with zero help, and it wasnt symptom free, sit down lunch, and an over night stay in a hotel,even managed to dance the night away too, then met up with family and friends for breakfast the next morning - that was hard as i do not eat first thing in the morning, so i passed on breakfast and wasnt looked at oddly as i imagined i may be.

Sunday wasnt good as friday and saturday id had little sleep and been pretty wound up previously by my internet providers who had lied to me most of the week and had been unable to repair my connection, so i left the hotel sunday morning, feeling a little hung over and spaced out, but I DID IT!!!!!!!!! I was very emotional sunday and faught back the tears while everyone ate breakfast, as my daughter was leaving her children to fly out on honeymoon, and the kids were pretty emotional to say the least.

 

Monday and Tuesday were also very teary days for me too and found myself waking up to tears, but still i pushed through and managed to do everything I had to do here, plus, i have been able to go out shopping on my own too, the anxiety has been there, but not at the intensity it has been.

My symptoms now consist of light headed dizzyness, weird erratic headpains on and off, very emotional, some lower backpain, but how much of that is down to wd aND HOW MUCH IS DOWN TO THE VIRUS I STILL HAVE IM NOT SURE, hopefully it will get better soon i hope.

 

I hope all are well and just called by with the update, and to say i missed all my good friends here, its not until the internet goes down that we realise just how good a friend its been to us when going through something like this. I miss my internet far more than i will ever miss paxil lol.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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  • Administrator

Oh, such good news, angie. And congratulations for becoming a mother-in-law for the second time this summer!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Sounds like you are handling things really well, Angie... glad to hear that. Congrats on getting through the wedding, and it even sounds like you had a pretty good time!

 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Hi Summer and thank you for your kind words,

 

Yes i got through it, it wasnt at all symptom free, but i did it!!!!!! God alone knows how and i think i made it through and came across as pretty normal too so my husband says.

Its so hard to be normal - when more often than not, we feel so far away from what is considered normal behaviour, must be a really good actress i think lol.

And after the bad stressful week that id had, i must admit, that yes i too think i handled it reasonably well-especially after getting a call friday night to say that the wedding car had a major fault, and having so little time to get a replacement, but it all worked out well, and i even managed a few dances saturday night too, that was the hard bit, the bang bang music, but it was all good.

 

But i have been pretty teary ever since and Sunday was especially hard as i was holding back the tears most of the day, obviously breakfast with in laws, and that hung over unwell feeling all day, which disappeared on monday, but the teariness continues to be an issue. Sometimes i cry because i feel so rough from this virus, and other times, i just have no idea why.

Maybe im just at that stage of wd who knows eh, but its a pain, and so not like me at all, cant wait for that symptom to leave- i tell ya, its most annoying to say the least, to just burst into tears for no good reason.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Well went up to bed last night feeling quite drained from my day, only to be woken up at 3.30am to use the bathroom,

i climbed back into my cosy bed and could i get back off to sleep - not a cat in hells chance, i lay there and within half an hour, the thought pattern had got the better of me.

THIS TURNED INTO ANXIETY AND PANIC AND FEAR, scared the hell out of me, as id never experienced this in the middle of the night before.

 

Laid there until it was time to get up this morning, and felt pretty unwell to say the least and teary too, and the day passed with me in much the same state,

felt pretty nauseaus, and had weird head pain too, just felt pretty off everywhere.

Anyone recognise this as wd or is this likely to be down to the virus ive had for the last 2 weeks, sometimes really difficult to tell.

Lets hope tonight and tomorrow are far far better than today and last night!!!!!!! I need to sleep.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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I am sorry for not being able to help you make out what is attributable to what. I am even more sorry for the horrendous suffering you are going through. You owe you to hang in, because you are a precious person, and because yout life will be so much (incommensurably!) better one (maybe not so far) day. Hell is not permanent, and you never get in twice.

 

I think of you :)

First AD -sertraline- in 2007at the age of 13 because of child abuse

2009-2013: intricate story of multiple wds, meds and cts, gradually became a living mess

Feb 2013: last CT from a cocktail of four drugs, symptoms are relenting but witness a constant sharpening of the brain

 

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Well i slept well last night, in fact until nearly 9am this morning which is brill for me, and today has been load s better

although not symptom free, but very tolerable yippee, until tonight, where i have bloody anxiety yet again - my god, when

does this crap ever let up and give us a days peace - i live in hope that maybe one day eh!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanxs Roads and Summer for your very kind words, appreciate the hand holding, its been a tough couple of weeks here.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Well the tough couple of weeks continues into almost a month now with zero let up and no triggers either i might add.

 

Got in the shower last night, and was overcome by fear and terror and intrusive thoughts, i sat on the floor and cried.

Woke early again this morning, to fear and terror and the feeling that my brain was running on half a brain cell,

never have i been so scared in my life - didnt think id make it to the end of the day, but after spending the day in tears

and reassurance from squirrel here i am to tell the tale.

That experience is a first for me, and one i DO NOT like, its evening time now and i feel that im n ow running on one and a

half cells as opposed to half a one this morning, My GOD, this mental stuff is so brutal!!!! and after a 56 mth slow taper too,

i can only hope to GOD that in time, all my efforts will pay off in some way that makes this all worthwhile.

I pray that tomorrow is a better day for me and anyone else here that has struggled today, and i d appreciate anyone who

understands this crazy mental crap to pop by and hold my hand, thru what has been an horrendous day.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Forgot to add too, that this cold/flu virus continues to rage, it lasted 3 wks the first time, went

away for 2 days and then came back, not sure how much this is helping to ramp up the above either,

or if indeed it is a virus - or paxil flu?? but then again do you get the actual cold and flu symptoms including sore throat,

aches, sneezing , snotty cold,cough, dizzy, jittery, shaky, faint feelings, as i seems that folk who havent taken

any of these meds are getting hit hard with this virus that is going around in much the same way.

But strangely - no temperature!!!!!

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Hello Angie,

 

Be reassured that those days will come to an end. I also had those fear and terror situations in the beginning of my wd. They got much better after around 6 months and when I stayed at the hospital just because I thought when something really bad would happen, they could help me. So even if it is chemically induced I think one can lessen it by having places where one feels save.

 

I hope that better days are ahead for you :)

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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Maybe, thank you my friend for your lovely kind words, really appreciate it my friend,

and i hope you are doing better - much better.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Angie... have you been to the doctor? If you are still ill, maybe it's time for an antibiotic. Course, I don't know, but I doubt it's Paxil flu.

 

Whatever it is, I truly hope you start feeling better. I know it's hard to feel awful for so long. Sending feel better hugs.

 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Yes Summer, i have been to the doctor 3 times throughout this, and went again today, as i thought this cold may have gone to my chest,

as i had been unwell for a month with it, but they aid my chest is clear, and because i smoke, they are sending me for a chest xray

and i have an appointment for spyro at the surgery the week after next.

 

My cold symptoms today dont seem quite as bad as they have been, have had to blow my nose a lot less, but my head symptoms seem worse,

as in head aches and weird off head feelings, not sure how much of this is now down to virus or wd thats the problem.

Guess all i can do is wait and see, and gauge ity better if and when this cold virus settles down-hopefully soon.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Administrator

angie, I saw in another topic you were more optimistic, how are you doing now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Alto,

 

Thank you for thinking of me, im doing ok i think lol.

Yes i have had more intense anxiety since the middle of last week, due to having a chest xray and the anticipation of having to wait for results, which i believe is situational although i think the intensity of it is paxil wd if you know what i mean, and of course along side that,there has been the general

ramp up of anxiety symptoms, but i think on the whole im not doing too badly, yes i have my waves and windows just like everyone else does, but im sure i will be due some better days soon, probably after i get the xray results back.

 

I have actually been very busy and although some days the symptoms have been almost intolerable to some extent, ive managed to go out and live some sort of a life. Hubby and I have just booked a 3 wk holiday in May to Samona to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary and ive been out and bought a new car too, and yes symptoms were not good, but none the more for that - i did it, and im also doing this too - paxil wd = and believe me, I WILL WIN eventually.

 

Can anyone advise when the emotional and crying jags end???? some days are just worse than horrible, and i go out with a smile on my face and inside im crying my eyes out, the jitteryness and the shakes, the weird head pressure/pains in the head, ( not a headache), the rubber feet, the feeling like the floor is moving as i walk, and even sat down, i feel like im going to fall off the chair, or im moving to the one side, the dizzyness, yes i have it all, but im determined that its not going to spoil my life anymore than it has to.

 

 

Hope you Alto, and everyone else here is doing ok too, and thanks again for thinking of me.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Hi Angie.

 

Congrats on the new car! Let us know when you get the test results back.

I think it's great that you have planned a holiday and that you still get yourself out and about with a smile on your face. That takes courage.

I wish you some peaceful days.

History is approximate; I didn't track my dosages.

 

1995 - started zoloft/sertraline for depression

1995-2008 - sertraline ranged from 100-200mg, may have gone as high as 250mg

2006 - 2009 - added welbutrin/budeprion SR, 150 mg

sometime in 2009-2010 - stopped budeprion c/t

sometime around 2009-2010, Tapered down sertraline w/o guidance to 50 mg, then 25mg.

~ feb 2010, stopped sertraline.

~ Apr 2010, resumed 25mg low dose (really bad business trip)

Oct 2010, stopped sertraline

Jan 2011 - another bad business trip "breaks" my sleep.

 

current issues include insomnia, anxiety, GI distress, depression.

Taking multivitamins, Vitamin D, fish oil, Chinese herbs, ~ 0.5mg melatonin in the evening.

Going to therapy and acupuncture once a week.

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Hi Guys,

 

Well xray results are in and it is clear and normal hurray, about the only thing that is normal for me right now, although they re still telling me to keep the appointment for the spyro too, which im not looking forward to.

 

And the car???

Aint got it yet, still waiting for money to clear through the bank, which im upset about, and hasnt helped with my symptoms,

so i guess the wait continues, in more ways than one.

Thanxs all for your kind words.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Can anxiety and/or neuro-emotion lead to weird brain/head symptoms and dizziness?

 

I sometimes have the feeling that I can feel my damaged amygdala in the back of my head. I guess that is not really possible? I wonder if I am back to anxious state since I had the bad reaction to the acupuncture?

I know that I had lots of different anxiety symptoms, but I am still not convinced that anxiety can cause so many weird and terrible symptoms.

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • Administrator

Yes, anxiety can cause weird symptoms. For example, if you're not breathing properly, you can get light-headed.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Can it cause weird sensitivities? Is it possible that many of us have symptoms for a longer time, because this anxiety (mostly unconscious, without having fear) keeps our nervous system in a constant state of alarm?

End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.
End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in.

Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well guys,

 

The spyrometry test i went for 2 wks ago was CLEAR, in fact - although i smoke the doc was very impressed that my lungs seem to be younger than i am.

I also now own the car i recently wrote and told you all about, its fab and i love it.

 

I have had some better days, of course!!! not symptom free but a lot more tolerable than today has been to be honest.

I woke at 6am with terror/fear/anxiety, awful!!!!!! and had to get up and mind a baby for the day too, GOD alone knows how, but its now 2.30pm, been crying since 6am this morning

and just trying my hardest to stay busy and get through the day, yeah sometimes minute by minute it seems.

Good grief this is some crap eh and almost 6 months off after a gruelling 56mth taper.

PLease pop by folks and offer me some reassurance this does indeed get better, im needing some hand holding today, and praying that tomorrow is better, cos it sure needs to be.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Angie, dear, you are doing great. You GOT OUT OF BED and are being good to a tiny baby. You go, girl.

 

1989 - 1992 Parnate* 

1992-1998 Paxil - pooped out*, oxazapam, inderal

1998 - 2005 Celexa - pooped out* klonopin, oxazapam, inderal

*don't remember doses

2005 -2007   Cymbalta 60 mg oxazapam, inderal, klonopin

Started taper in 2007:

CT klonopin, oxazapam, inderal (beta blocker) - 2007

Cymbalta 60mg to 30mg 2007 -2010

July 2010 - March 2018 on hiatus due to worsening w/d symptoms, which abated and finally disappeared. Then I stalled for about 5 years because I didn't want to deal with W/D.

March 2018 - May 2018 switch from 30mg Cymbalta to 20mg Celexa 

19 mg Celexa October 7, 2018

18 mg Celexa November 5, 2018

17 mg Celexa  December 2, 2019

16 mg Celexa January 6, 2018 

15 mg Celexa March 7, 2019

14 mg Celexa April 24, 2019

13 mg Celexa June 28, 2019

12.8 mg Celexa November 10, 2019

12.4 Celexa August 31, 2020

12.2 Celexa December 28, 2020

12 mg Celexa March 2021

11 mg  Celexa February 2023

 

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It will get better Angie. Hang in there. I know I'm not one to talk as I'm not there yet. lol. But I have a lot of hope and try to stay positive about my future. Here's a link to success quotes I collected from other places. I know I keep posting the link, but I feel a need to for when people are needing some hope. I hope it's okay. It really helps me to read these. Success Stories. Blessing to you!

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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  • Administrator

Angie, look at how far you've come. You're doing better already!

 

It won't be predictable, but gradually the good windows will get longer.

 

And there are always rides in your new fab car to cheer you up. Congratulations on that.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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