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Petunia

☼ Petunia: recovering from 13 years of antidepressant use

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ten0275

@Petunia, what an amazing, amazing, amazing update. thank you so much for posting it. it is so inspiring and i think you are indeed darn close to the full-on recovery story. :) i am 2 months off all drugs as of this thursday and still lightly symptomatic in intervals, but feel continued healing happening as well. to read how you have progressed and endured and progressed more adds much-needed confirmation to the process, how it goes, and how it resolves. thank you, thank you thank you.

 

hang in there,

 

dave

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delsol

This is great to read. I just got reacquainted with this site today, after much struggle and many months not reading things here. I am grateful to read stories by people who look at their trials and tribulations, their challenges and successes, as an ongoing process.  Right now things feel so hard for me, with these med changes. I hope to someday post here in a few years that I've gotten much better. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, reading success stories helps me to stay afloat. 

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Altostrata

Petunia! So good to hear. It's been such a long, long road. You've given us so much here, thank you.

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Leo1983

@Petunia

 

Hi,

 

How long were you on meds all together? Also how long were you on Lexapro.

 

Pleased to see improvements.

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JackieDecides
On 8/11/2019 at 9:51 PM, Petunia said:

Sleeping in late is one of those pleasures in life everyone deserves to have sometimes.

 

 

I think this is true and measure how I'm doing by how sleep is going.

 

you do sound like you are maybe so recovered it's time for a success story thread. but, maybe there is no clear line. 

 

what matters is you are better and thank you for sharing it with us! 

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Petunia

If I could remember how to do it, I would change my avatar to a new window picture. It's been 2 months since I last updated and I've had another positive change, so thought I would write about it.

I''m either in a really good window, have turned a corner or my recent drastic change in diet has done something good. I don't want to jump to conclusions yet, but I started feeling much better right after I changed my mostly plant based diet to a meat based ketogenic diet. Ethically, I didn't really want to, I'd been heading on a path towards raw veganism for a while, but after doing a lot of research, I started wondering if a change in diet might help with my remaining symptoms, which were extreme fatigue, low stress tolerance, low energy, mild to moderate joint and muscle pain, cognitive issues, and morning dread and anxiety. I seemed to have been left with a kind of chronic fatigue condition and my recovery seemed to have plateaued there - much better than being in the thick of cycling withdrawal symptoms, but still very limited in my functioning and quality of life.

 

Anyway, long post kept short, I've been eating keto for about 10 days now and I'm feeling great! Everything has now resolved, apart from the pain, that has improved somewhat too, but not gone completely. I"ve been keeping my net carbs to under 20 grams a day, getting most of my calories from healthy fats and eating a moderate amount of protein. Still eating very clean, with whole foods and no packaged or processed anything. This change in diet has forced me to take all grains out of my diet, and I'm wondering if that might have helped too.

 

Anyway, time will tell, if this improvement sticks, I will be writing my recovery story in a few months I guess.

 

I'm sorry I don't visit here much these days, but thank you for the ongoing support and encouragement.

Edited by Petunia
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Goosie

Glad you are feeling better!   I was vegan before I got sick but have been eating meat since.   I  feel like it is helping but it is still taking a really long time to recover.   I figure the brain needs protein to rebuild itself.    

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Cocopuffz17

That is awesome to hear. More success with diet change... even more so with removing grains from the diet. A lot of grains are inflammatory and have lectins which cause a lot of digestive issues/inflammation. Glad to hear of your continued healing! 

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Longestroadhome

I was vegan for a long time but stupidly followed the advice of some plant based doctors and went low/ no oil. I swear it made my mood much worse and probably didn’t help my skin either. I swung the pendulum and went keto for a while but have settled comfortably following Dr Gundry’s Plant Paradox diet. He promotes good fats, especially olive oil and also a healthy amount of fish. I feel much better eating this way.

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Cocopuffz17
8 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

I was vegan for a long time but stupidly followed the advice of some plant based doctors and went low/ no oil. I swear it made my mood much worse and probably didn’t help my skin either. I swung the pendulum and went keto for a while but have settled comfortably following Dr Gundry’s Plant Paradox diet. He promotes good fats, especially olive oil and also a healthy amount of fish. I feel much better eating this way.


Hey! Me as well. I changed my nutrition and could not believe the difference in the way I felt. How long have you been eating Plant Paradox ? 

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Rhiannon

PETU!!!!! So great to hear from you! 

 

I am thrilled to hear about your recovery. Thank you for coming back and sharing it with us. Yes, you should write a recovery story. You can always update it as things continue to improve.

 

I guess I should update mine, actually. I'm on lower and lower doses. Tried to jump off Xanax and had to reinstate and then the same with citalopram, but I am on such low doses of both of those that the drug itself is really not affecting me much at all, so my quality of life is pretty good. Still struggling with anxiety issues and some sleep issues, but I also have CPTSD due to childhood abuse, so anxiety has been a lifelong friend, and my sleep is really not much worse than my nondrugged friends who are about my age, so I consider myself pretty fortunate.

 

And my life circumstances are pretty good, I have a good job and am able to work full time still, and have a safe place to live, and some projects I'm excited about, and I'm growing and healing in several different directions, so I feel like after 20 years of being stuck in survival mode and misery on the drugs, I am finally getting to be myself again at least about 80% or so.

 

Anyway it is SO LOVELY to hear from you! And to hear how well you are doing. Thank you.

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Longestroadhome
1 hour ago, Cocopuffz17 said:


Hey! Me as well. I changed my nutrition and could not believe the difference in the way I felt. How long have you been eating Plant Paradox ? 

Yay! Another PP ❤️ I have been eating this way for nine months now. I enjoy the food so much. I love Darleen’s recipes, she runs the PP recipe sharing Facebook group and has so many delicious food ideas. How about you?

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Cocopuffz17
1 hour ago, Longestroadhome said:

Yay! Another PP ❤️ I have been eating this way for nine months now. I enjoy the food so much. I love Darleen’s recipes, she runs the PP recipe sharing Facebook group and has so many delicious food ideas. How about you?

Awesome! Did you notice a huge difference in your well being physically and mentally after starting ? I was BLOWN away. It’s what gave me the courage to come off of my medication. I keep mine very basic right now, but I will slowly add things as my WDs subside. 

 

I just hit a year! Oct 14th was my 1 year and I know I would not be off this medication if it were not for the this doctors different view on eating. I even notice when I slip and eat unapproved foods I feel awful and WDs spike. 
 

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Longestroadhome
On 10/19/2019 at 8:03 AM, Cocopuffz17 said:

Awesome! Did you notice a huge difference in your well being physically and mentally after starting ? I was BLOWN away. It’s what gave me the courage to come off of my medication. I keep mine very basic right now, but I will slowly add things as my WDs subside. 

 

I just hit a year! Oct 14th was my 1 year and I know I would not be off this medication if it were not for the this doctors different view on eating. I even notice when I slip and eat unapproved foods I feel awful and WDs spike. 
 

That is awesome 🙏❤️

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Petunia

I just popped back to my journal to warn of impending incoming recovery story and found it's been hijacked by some kind of PP cult 😀,  just joking, it sounds interesting, I will have to check it out. Yeah! changing my diet has most definitely helped, although I don't know if its because of what I've added or what I've taken out. But it's working, so I'm sticking with it. I recently tried adding back in a lot of plant matter, because I miss it. I love big salads with lot's of 'stuff', but it caused some digestive problems and a drop in energy and mood, so I'm back to keeping the leafs low.

 

I hate to admit this, because I love animals and don't want to eat them, but in hindsight, I can see that the times in my life when I've been the most mentally and emotionally unstable have been the times when I had the least amounts of animal foods in my diet. Personally, my brain just seems to need some healthy animal fats in order to function well.

 

It was great to hear from you Rhi, if you are reading this. You were one of the first people to reply in my journal and I will always remember how kind and supportive you were. You gave me my first bit of hope and confirmation that this was withdrawal and that I would get better. I'm glad you are doing better now, our journeys are very different, you are a tapering expert and I'm a CT survivor.

 

Anyway,  just wanted to update for the new year.... 2020 will be the year I declare victory and plant my recovery flag.

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Shep
3 hours ago, Petunia said:

I hate to admit this, because I love animals and don't want to eat them, but in hindsight, I can see that the times in my life when I've been the most mentally and emotionally unstable have been the times when I had the least amounts of animal foods in my diet. Personally, my brain just seems to need some healthy animal fats in order to function well.

 

I'm the same way, Petunia. As much as I love animals and don't want to eat them - I was a vegetarian for 32 years - I also feel better now that I'm no longer a vegetarian. 

 

3 hours ago, Petunia said:

Anyway,  just wanted to update for the new year.... 2020 will be the year I declare victory and plant my recovery flag.

 

This is awesome, Petu. I look forward to reading your success story! 

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Elyssa143

@Petunia

Im so glad your doing so well! This is fantastic and I look forward to reading your success story as well. I too have tried the plant based diet and believe I do better lower carb and meat and fat. Could you explain your dread feeling? I have a similar feeling in my chest that makes me feel rather hopeless and like i dont want to do this anymore. And kind of dreading how much longer i can do this. Also can you kind of explain what your daily diet looks like? Please and do you take any vitamins? I appreciate your time and help! Have a great day

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Longestroadhome

Apologies for the PP cult post 😂😂 Before I saw that you had posted I remembered you and how I wrote on your thread, completely ignoring your story and going on about MY diet 🤐 how rude of me. I came back to apologise then saw that you had posted. 
 

I am so happy for you that you are feeling better. If eating a certain way is helping then keep doing it I say! 
 

looking forward to your success story 🙏🙏

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