Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted July 28, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 28, 2022 @Petunia Beautiful update, Petunia. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Erell Posted July 28, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 28, 2022 14 hours ago, Petunia said: I used to run away from reality, my whole life was about trying to escape from discomfort, internal and external. Going through withdrawal forced me to sit down in the present moment and accept what is, and deal with it. Now I live life, whatever it entails, rather than run away from it. Each day is a gift. Such a powerful message, thank you with all my heart Petunia ❤ 2 2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam. 2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg. 2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg). 25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details : topic/21457 Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil Current medication : * 7pm Diazepam : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020) * 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21) I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Thorin Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 This is an amazing thread to read. I’m glad I found it. You write amazingly well. And clearly have a deep well of strength. Thanks for sharing so we can benefit from the road you’ve walked 1 Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
LarryS Posted April 28, 2023 Share Posted April 28, 2023 @Petunia Petunia was the first to great me when I joined Surving-Antidepressents in June 2018. I learned more about tracking my progress from Petunia. Thank you, Petunia. I am very close to the end of the tapering part of my journey here at SA. I certainly relate to and appreciate what you have said in your most recent statement, after you have been totally off antidepressant type drugs for a year. I send you all my best thoughts and wishes for you and your continuing journey. Larry "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 See LarryS Health History https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18063-larrys-tapering-off-venlafaxine-effexor-225mg/?do=findComment&comment=575976 Aug 2014 start Venlafaxine 225 mg. Other Pharmaceuticals per day: Amlodipine Besylate 5 mg Vitamins per day: C 1,000 mg; D3 50 mcg; Probiotic 218 mg; Fish Oil 1,600 mg; Magnesium Glycinate Liquid 165 mg; CoQ10 40 mg; Saw Palmetto 320 mg; Calcium 250 mg; Red Yeast Rice 1,200 mg; Plant Sterol Esters 1,000 mg Start Taper: 225 mg to 55 mg; June 5, 2018, to June 15, 2019 49 mg July 16, 2019; 44 mg August 13, 2019; 49 mg (up 11%) Aug. 26, 2019: 44 mg Sept. 10, 2019; 40 mg Oct. 8, 2019; 37.5 mg (6%) Nov. 6, 2019; 49.5 mg (up 32%) Nov 18, 2019; 44.5 mg Dec. 30, 2019; 40 mg Jan. 27, 2020; 36 mg Feb. 24, 2020; 32.5 mg March 23, 2020; 29.2 mg April 20, 2020; 26.3 mg May 18, 2020; 23.7 mg June 15, 2020; 21.3 mg July 6, 2020; 19.2 mg Aug. 4, 2020; 17.3 mg Sept. 1, 2020; 15.5 mg Sept. 29, 2020; 14.0 mg Oct. 27, 2020; 12.6 mg Nov. 24, 2020; 11.3 mg Dec. 15, 2020; 10.2 mg Jan. 5, 2021; 9.2 mg Feb. 2, 2021; 8.3 mg March 9, 2021; 7.4 mg April 6, 2021; 6.7 mg 5/4/2021; 6.0 mg 6/01/2021; 5.4 mg 7/13/2021; 4.9 mg 8/10/2021; 4.4 mg 9/9/2021; 4.0 mg 10/14/2021; 3.5 mg 11/11/2021; 7.5 mg (up 200%) 12/6/2021; 6.75 mg 1/17/2022; 6.00 mg 2/21/2022; 5.62 mg 3/21/2022; 4.87 mg 4/25/2022; 4.50 mg 5/30/2022; 4.13 mg 7/5/2022; 3.75 mg 8/1/2022; 3.38 mg 9/7/2022; 3.00 mg 10/5/2022; 2.63 mg 11/02/2022; 2.25 mg 12/1/2022; 1.88 mg 1/5/2023; 1.50 mg 2/9/2023; 1.13 mg 3/16/2023; 0.75 mg 4/20/2023; ZERO mg 5/5/2023 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted August 14, 2023 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 14, 2023 I can't believe another year has gone by since I last visited and posted. It was in my mind to do a 10 year update and hopefully recovery story in May. But my 10 year anniversary of finding this site and having it save my life came and went uneventfully. So what brings me back now? Well, I finally got around to dealing with all the dental destruction, which was part of my withdrawal process. I lost teeth, including front ones. I lost bone density and many more of my teeth became loose. During the early years I was getting constant painful gum abscesses, but was unable to visit a dentist, so I just dealt with them by myself by using salt water rinses and aspirin. In a way they were a welcome distraction from the agony of withdrawal in general. Physical pain was familiar and something I could understand. Over the years of recovery, the occurrence of abscesses decreased, until I was only getting about 2 a year. The bone loss stopped and eventually I was left with what I had, it was no longer getting worse. I learned to live with the way I looked and stopped caring about what other people thought about me. I reached a place of contentment and self acceptance, so thought it was time to get the damage fixed. And I felt like my nervous system was probably stable enough to handle it. But I'm not fully healed, and as expected, and as mentioned in this site, dental procedures can cause waves, and I'm currently surfing one of them again now, since having my dental work done. Thankfully it's not too bad, and akathisia has not returned, which its the symptom I'm most afraid of. I've been able to introduce several new hobbies into my life, all of which entail daily responsibilities, I don't think I would be able to handle everything if that returned. I guess it would depend on how bad it was. But I'm not going to dwell on something which didn't happen. Instead I'm going to focus on gratitude that I survived, which was touch and go back there for a while. Thank you to everyone who left nice comments in my thread over the past year, reading them brought tears to my eyes, tears of gratitude, that by sharing my recovery journey, I was able to help others. The human experience can be a strange one, with all it's pain and suffering, which can often feel meaningless, but when you do manage to find some meaning in it all, everything changes, and starts to make sense. I believe that meaning can be found in everything, but sometimes you have to dig very deep inside yourself to find it. For anyone who is struggling right now, please hang in there, it WILL get better over time, and in the meantime just breathe and be exactly the way you are. It might not feel like it, but your nervous system is healing, with each passing moment. 7 I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Thorin Posted August 14, 2023 Share Posted August 14, 2023 56 minutes ago, Petunia said: I can't believe another year has gone by since I last visited and posted. It was in my mind to do a 10 year update and hopefully recovery story in May. But my 10 year anniversary of finding this site and having it save my life came and went uneventfully. So what brings me back now? Well, I finally got around to dealing with all the dental destruction, which was part of my withdrawal process. I lost teeth, including front ones. I lost bone density and many more of my teeth became loose. During the early years I was getting constant painful gum abscesses, but was unable to visit a dentist, so I just dealt with them by myself by using salt water rinses and aspirin. In a way they were a welcome distraction from the agony of withdrawal in general. Physical pain was familiar and something I could understand. Over the years of recovery, the occurrence of abscesses decreased, until I was only getting about 2 a year. The bone loss stopped and eventually I was left with what I had, it was no longer getting worse. I learned to live with the way I looked and stopped caring about what other people thought about me. I reached a place of contentment and self acceptance, so thought it was time to get the damage fixed. And I felt like my nervous system was probably stable enough to handle it. But I'm not fully healed, and as expected, and as mentioned in this site, dental procedures can cause waves, and I'm currently surfing one of them again now, since having my dental work done. Thankfully it's not too bad, and akathisia has not returned, which its the symptom I'm most afraid of. I've been able to introduce several new hobbies into my life, all of which entail daily responsibilities, I don't think I would be able to handle everything if that returned. I guess it would depend on how bad it was. But I'm not going to dwell on something which didn't happen. Instead I'm going to focus on gratitude that I survived, which was touch and go back there for a while. Thank you to everyone who left nice comments in my thread over the past year, reading them brought tears to my eyes, tears of gratitude, that by sharing my recovery journey, I was able to help others. The human experience can be a strange one, with all it's pain and suffering, which can often feel meaningless, but when you do manage to find some meaning in it all, everything changes, and starts to make sense. I believe that meaning can be found in everything, but sometimes you have to dig very deep inside yourself to find it. For anyone who is struggling right now, please hang in there, it WILL get better over time, and in the meantime just breathe and be exactly the way you are. It might not feel like it, but your nervous system is healing, with each passing moment. That was a lovely message. Thanks for coming back and sharing Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted August 14, 2023 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 14, 2023 7 hours ago, Petunia said: During the early years I was getting constant painful gum abscesses, but was unable to visit a dentist, so I just dealt with them by myself by using salt water rinses and aspirin. In a way they were a welcome distraction from the agony of withdrawal in general. Physical pain was familiar and something I could understand. This is such an insightful comment and something folks outside of this experience probably wouldn't understand, but I hear you and get it. Very glad you were able to get your dental work done and that you're now able to enjoy some hobbies. 7 hours ago, Petunia said: Thank you to everyone who left nice comments in my thread over the past year, reading them brought tears to my eyes, tears of gratitude, that by sharing my recovery journey, I was able to help others. The human experience can be a strange one, with all it's pain and suffering, which can often feel meaningless, but when you do manage to find some meaning in it all, everything changes, and starts to make sense. I believe that meaning can be found in everything, but sometimes you have to dig very deep inside yourself to find it. For anyone who is struggling right now, please hang in there, it WILL get better over time, and in the meantime just breathe and be exactly the way you are. It might not feel like it, but your nervous system is healing, with each passing moment. Beautiful and insightful update, as aways. Thanks for these updates, Petunia. You are a courageous spirit. Link to comment
ShadowDancer Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 Hello @Petunia You mentioned having tinnitus and hppd like symptoms. Any improvements in those? Lexapro 10-20mg 2016-2018 2 full years cold turkey no withdrawals, Lexapro 10-20mg 01/2021-08/2022 cold turkey missed doses, alternated between high and low doses, no withdrawals 1/7-1/14/2023 Ciprofloxacin for 1 week 500mgx2 in January 2023, resulted in headaches that went away in 2 months 3/21-3/35/2023 Oxybutinin for 4 days 3/21-3/30/2023 Ofloxacin 400*9 days in March, gave me insomnia 3/23-3/25/2023 Passiflora+Valerian Capsule for 2 nights, doesn't work. 3/26-3/29/2023 Unisom (Doxylamine) for three nights, it would work on the second night but would not do anything on the 3rd. 03/29-05/10/2023 Mirtazapine 7.5mg/15mgs depending on the night this also would work for 3 nights, I would switch to Unisom every 4th night. Took for a total of 15-20 times in 42 nights. 5/11/2023 Atarax(hydroxine) only once but spiked my tinnitus and gives me DP/DR in the morning, after this I could fall a sleep on my own with no meds. Later on Unisom also spikes my tinnitus. 06/01/2023 Brain Zaps start, I get back to alternating mirtazapine,passiflora, melatonin, for 40+ more days. Symptoms got worse. 06/15/2023 Trazodone 50MGs once. Did nothing. 3/2023 - 9/2023 NAC, Alpha lipoic Acid, Magnesium, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Calcium. Once or twice I took 5HTP and L-theanine. Took Fish Oil Omega-3 for 1-2 months. 11/8/2023 250mgs of Keppra ONCE. Link to comment
Jaffa Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 @Petunia I love your perspective on feeling that the journey and all the pain and anguish has been worth it. I love the peace and contentment that you speak of. I love that you can enjoy an afternoon nap without the toxic effects. Maybe this is as good as it gets..... ? I hope it gets even better for you. 2003 Paxil - I can't remember the dose but I think it was 10mg experienced horrendous akathisia when starting for 3 weeks then okay 2004. slow reduction to 0 , withdrawal symptoms, so reinstated to 10mg - again horrendous Akathisia which lasted 5 weeks. 2005 - attempted to slowly taper off and again Terrible withdrawal so reinstated and endured akathisia until it settled. Psychiatrist changed me over to Zoloft so that I could have another baby. No adverse reaction with the switch except terrible diorreah 2006 tried once more to come off Zoloft carefully with terrible results. reinstated Zoloft and used 2.5 mg of zyprexa to help Akathisia- horrid episode lasted 3 months with some akathisia and severe depression which I’d never had before. Withdrawal from zyprexa ( depression) 2008 50 mg of Zoloft then after 6 months I tapered to 25 mg and decided to stay there . 2012 stress event and peri menopause acute anxiety which led to, updosing to 125 mg, tortuous symptoms(akathisia) then stabilized, back to 50 mg- 2014 - same again down to 25 with Akathisia on updosing and a hospital visit. 2019 - 2023 Zoloft tapering by 2 mg linear taper every 3 months started at 50 mg, got to 25 mg around January 2023. June 2023- health anxiety and what feels like withdrawal again. Insomnia, anxiety, blunted good feelings. 2023 June- Zyprexa taken twice, ativan 1 mg taken once, temazepan infrequent but 15- 18th of June used for 4 nights 2023 August - introduced 7.5 mg of mirtazapine for 12 days then 15mg of mirtazapine. Sleep now ok but daily life depression, anhedonia, agitation and a weird feeling of being sedate and anxious at the same time. Currently holding. My introduction thread: Jaffa: Possibly late onset withdrawal Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now