Jump to content

Inability to see * forward* / mentally immobilized


Barbarannamated
 Share

Recommended Posts

I last took Pristiq 2 years ago and still feel as if I can't see *forward*. I don't have things to do day to day and when I try to plan, it's as if my brain has no planning or forward thinking capabilities. It's a brick wall. Or a cliff. Absolute darkness. I've never experienced anything like this prior to or while on various SS/NRIs.

 

I'm essentially on my own to get myself out or to any activities. I haven't worked since I was 39 (neck injury) and have essentially no nearby support or people to encourage me to get out of the house on a regular basis. Husband is content to stay in house alone, on computer or watching TV. We talk very little.

 

The future looks like a big black hole. I had a window earlier this year and I did force myself to go out for a drive on most days. Prior to withdrawing, I was able to see forward enough to get dressed and out of the house. If I could relax while not moving forward, I think it might be less tortuous.

 

ANY input, especially from those farther along, is greatly appreciated.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish I could be of help. I actually struggle with the same thing though in a different way maybe.

 

It's hard to care about life on this planet because I'm not really a part of it and it's hard to really see how I become a part of it right now. Maybe it's a 'defense mechanism' to use a pop-psych expression?

 

Right now I am trying to be okay with being in the day, today. But it is very difficult. I'm always between a panic and total apathy. Life stinks right now and it sounds like your stuck in the mud at least as far as I am.

 

so... HUGS... hang in there.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I'm always between a panic and total apathy."

 

EXACTLY, Alex. And then panic about the apathy.. If this is a manifestation of the fight or flight system being broken, the panic feels like an overwhelming flight mode and apathy, a frozen, given-up state in absence of strength to fight.

 

Also, the free floating anxiety seems to be tied in.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

I think it's difficult unto impossible to plan ahead when you're in a state of emotional anesthesia. Why plan ahead when there are no activities that are appealing and no people whose company you enjoy? I think what you may have difficulty with is imagining anything that might cause pleasure. If that's the case, why schedule anything? Just do the minimum necessary to survive and otherwise zone out.

 

I say this from my own experience. I'm just now beginning to have some good feelings about some things I'm doing, like needlepoint and a few social activities, but that ability to feel some positive anticipation fluctuates. I've got a fairly active schedule set up, but sometimes I feel so apathetic I don't follow the schedule. Also, for a long time, I noticed that I wasn't able to get involved in reading fiction very well, even new books by my favorite authors, although I could concentrate very well on non-fiction. At first I thought maybe I felt guilty about doing something so physically inactive or even lazy (thanks to my father who thought reading was just an excuse to be idle rather than work at something that made money), but then I realized that the emotional anesthesia made it difficult to engage with the characters in a work of fiction, and really, that's often what a good book of fiction is all about.

 

What I find that helps during these emotionally dead periods are things that engage my mind and that are distracting, such as playing computer games or reading a non-fiction book that has nothing to do with withdrawal, health, et cetera, unless it's something I'm just itching to read. Light fiction, like Little Women, is sometimes useful. Sometimes doing just a bit of housework gets me started on cleaning one room thoroughly, and I get a sense of pleasure from that afterward. Aim for something that requires some mental or physical engagement but no emotional energy.

 

This part of withdrawal just seems to take forever to overcome. One day I can get out of bed and do what I have to do, and the next I want to sleep for the next forty-eight hours. I have to keep reminding myself how very much better this is than last summer when it was hard to leave the house at all and I was generally overcome by neuroemotions, largely feelings of sadness and anxiety.

 

All I can say, again and again, is hang in there. Things do get better even when they seem to be creeping forward at tiny fractions of an inch.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes doing just a bit of housework gets me started on cleaning one room thoroughly, and I get a sense of pleasure from that afterward. Aim for something that requires some mental or physical engagement but no emotional energy.

 

I think, from a general perspective, this is superb, well-earned advice that anyone in a non-acute w/d syndrome might benefit from.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Jemima.

 

Your point about reading resonates strongly with me. Prior to withdrawal, reading was my favorite pastime, escape. I devoured a few fiction books per week. Now, my ability to concentrate is very up and down. I hadn't thought about it as being interested in or engaging with the characters. Excellent point!

 

I have a hard time zoning out or sleeping during the day. Today was a particularly loooong and slow day, a few minutes felt like an hour. However, I didnt have the intense sadness and weepiness that I did yesterday. Strange how each day dishes up something new.

 

You offered alot to consider, Jemima.

 

Thanks. :)

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks you guys.

 

I had the same thing happen, where I quit reading fiction much. That's interesting.

 

I also struggle with feeling mentally/emotionally paralyzed or just, sort of, like thinking about the future is just too hard, and making plans is just a big effort and a burden. Not all the time, I do get breaks sometimes, which is nice.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the feedback.

 

This gets so horrible at times that I've begged my husband to "please help me die". I don't know if I'm describing adequately...it gets to be pure torture, purgatory with no end in sight. I found it *interesting* that Iggy used these exact words with her mother (to help her die) so I'm assuming this is unique to withdrawal because neither of us has ever experienced it.

 

I'm not trying to sound any alarms. I don't think I could harm myself. I just cannot envision any future or any way that my situation is going to improve. I've been purposeless, life without meaning, for over 10 years. I know there are alot of people on disability from young ages (as Whitaker writes about) but never hear about how all of those people survive the emptiness. I can't imagine living like this for another year, let alone 10 or 20 more.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

http://tribes.tribe.net/depressionhelp/thread/8b0c6734-6fb0-4aae-b3d9-cc8eb8b7dc57

 

By Charly G,The NetherlandsSept 9, 2000 ~ 2009You experienced a negative reaction to an (SSRI/SNRI) AntiDepressant, what (not) to do Now?"Who does Not Know the Truth, is simply a Fool...Yet who Knows the Truth and Calls it a Lie, is a Criminal."- In "Galileo Galilei" by Berthold Brecht (1898-1956)Go to General Side-Effects SSRI/SNRI/SSNRI Antidepressants: cases, reviews, articles & studiesGo to Tapering Off Anti-depressantsGo to IntroductionTake notice that also non SSRI anti-depressants (and even Ritalin) may interact (primary or secondary) with the serotonergic (or serotoninergic) system in the brain.After your reaction to an (SSRI/SSNRI) Anti-DepressantThe first 3-18 monthsOne of the long term side-effects after experiencing a reaction to an (SSRI) antidepressant, is an extreme hyper-sensitivity of the nervous system to light, sound, supplements, herbs and fabricated synthetic vitamins. Furthermore physical symptoms such as muscle tightness, electrical shocks through the brain and the body, feelings of burning on the surface or inside of the skin (deregulation of pain perception), visual and/or auditory hallucinations, as well as emotional and psychological problems. For a more detailed discussion regarding above mentioned side-effects click here.We do not recommend to expose your body to synthetic chemicals whilst experiencing more or less severe hypersensitivity of the nervous system. We rather recommend to get your essential elements from preferably organic low acid food. Low acidic foods have a high pH value which is ALKALINE or BASIC! You need to 'alkalinize' your system (body) above a pH value of '7' !Eat enough fruit and vegetables in a variable alkalinizing balanced diet, and drink lots of water. For instance tomatoes, bananas, kiwi's, broccoli, aloe vera, carrots, cabbage, beans, cucumbers, etc., are a very rich source of essential minerals, vitamins and amino acids. Do not take 5-HTP to create more serotonin in your brain. By simply leaving your serotonergic neural system alone, you will assist it the most to find it's own natural balance again. Unfortunately this will take some time.Do not charge your nervous system like you always did before your reaction to an (SSRI) antidepressant. If you charge your nervous system too much, like too much stress, a surgery, unhealthy eating patterns, etc., you actually delay your recovery. You will have to learn to listen to your body, what means that you know when to withdraw and when to get active.When you suffered a reaction to an (SSRI) antidepressant your nervous system becomes hyper-sensitive to ALL stimuli. What are stimuli? It is everything that acts on your nervous system (directly or indirectly) like light, sound, but also violence on TV, stressors, certain supplements or fabricated vitamins, etc. All these things act as stimulants to your nervous system. Actually the effects of a psychoactive drug and watching a horror movie are very much comparative to each other...that is: they BOTH act on your nervous system!The key solution to recovery is NOT to stimulate your nervous system, but, to sedate your nervous system. Every time when you stimulate a nervous system that in fact needs to be sedated to recover, you delay the process of healing. We know it will be impossible to lock your self up in a dark, silent room and this is definitely not what we are trying to say. You just have to learn when to withdraw yourself (and thus your nervous system) from stimuli and when to come out.Consider sweat baths (sauna baths). This is a very healthy habit. Sweat baths are extremely sedating to the nervous system. When you take a sweat bath on a regular base this will strengthen your cardiovascular system and improve the blood circulation. Next to this, go out in nature, trees, green, oxygen, gentle walking, etc..About taking supplementsWe learned that everyone who is experiencing (SSRI) antidepressant side-effects, is looking for the quick relief. People are experimenting with whatever supplement or fabricated synthetic vitamin they can get their hands on. Simply avoid this if that is possible.As previously mentioned above, we do not recommend to expose your body to synthetic chemicals whilst experiencing more or less severe hypersensitivity of the nervous system. We rather recommend to get your essential elements from preferably organic low acid food in a variable balanced diet.Two to three simple bananas and kiwi's, an egg-sandwich, 2-3 glasses of milk, a few tomatoes and an avocado a day provides many of the essential vitamins, (trace)minerals & amino acids you need on a daily base. Vegetables especially rich in essential elements are: Peas, Potatoes, Broccoli, Squash (Summer), Spinach, Lima Beans & Kale. The taste of nature is nice and it saves you money on unnecessary supplements too!However we also understand that getting your essentials from a variable diet requires some skills in preparation and cooking of your daily meal. Not everyone is able or willing to do that. In that case you need to add your essential elements otherwise. We understand if you feel the need to take a daily multi-vitamin complex. There are many different multi-vitamin complex products, unfortunately a lot of rubbish amongst them. Most of them contain extra added synthetic chemicals which you must avoid. If you are going to take a multi-vitamin complex you need to be aware of the following:make sure that it doesn't contain Vitamin K. Vitamin K plays a role in the manufacture of blood clotting. Too much of this vitamin might interact with plasma serotonin which is also known to make blood form cloths (see article, "2.a. Serotonergic functioning"). Although there is more research needed regarding this matter, the anecdotal reports of (former) (SSRI) antidepressant users imply fabricated vitamin K as a cause for the worsening of their already exisiting symptoms.make sure that ALL B-vitamins are low(never above the daily recommended standard). It is important to note that most B-vitamins work as stimulants to the nervous system. You need to avoid that.make sure that the B3 compound is as niacinamide and NEVER as niacine (this will give a flush which could make you re-live all of your symptoms again).Depending on the severeness of the reaction you experienced to an (SSRI) antidepressant we also recommend that if you decide to take your essential elements otherwise, to take calcium/magnesium/zinc in a vegetarian formula. Never exceed the daily dose of Calcium 1000mg, Magnesium 400mg and Zinc 15mg. Although calcium/magnesium/zinc are not known to act as stimulants, caution is needed. Always start with small amounts (1/6 of the daily dose), gradually build up and keep monitoring yourself.In these first 3-18 months the cycles or the emotional rollercoasters (the tricks your brain is playing on you) can be extremely frightening. And it will seem like it never ends, especially when you find a bit of hope in the evening to be back at square one in the morning. Be firm! We all understand its the most frustrating experience right now for you. It's serotonin related and that's why you are experiencing delayed (withdrawal) side effects and flashbacks, but gradually it will get better. Evaluate your recovery by weeks and months, not days.You are going to experience minutes, hours and days that you will start to feel better. The cycles will get longer in duration and eventually you will have more good then bad days. Though, it is most important you also treat your nervous system with care during these better days. Don't think when the better days arrive that you can charge your nervous system like you always did before. It will give you a major set-back! Stick to the list we provide you below, on how to assist your recovery during this period.Friends and FamilyThese times are very tough to experience. Your friends and family cannot even imagine the powerful influence these drugs have on your mind and your sub-consciousness. They simply cannot believe that these drugs can have such a powerful effect on someone's brain. You might loose your trust in them after this. Try to accept and understand their ignorant and frustrating reactions. Avoid them for a while, if that's possible.How can I assist my recovery during this period?Avoid any psycho-stimulants such as medications, herbs, but especially: violence on TV. Why? Because right now your nervous system has become hyper-sensitive and extremely susceptible to every input from your surroundings, not only light and sound! You must also protect your sub-consciousness until you reach a level of emotional stability.Ingest low acid foods and try to minimize the ingestion of high acidic foods with a low pH-grade! REMEMBER: You need to 'alkalinize' your system (body) above a pH value of '7' !Avoid Grapefruit Juice. Grapefruit juice is an inhibitor of the cytochrome P-450 enzymes. These enzymes are known to metabolise (break down) (SSRI) antidepressants in the liver. Drinking grapefruit juice whilst you are taking an (SSRI) antidepressant can create a serious toxic reaction, because the (SSRI) antidepressant will build to toxic levels in the bloodstream! For more information click here.No caffeine. Drink lots of chamomile tea, sweetened with honey.No alcohol.Don't take Saint John's Worth. St. John's Worth works more or less as a natural SSRI (on post synaptic receptors), also interacting with your serotonergic neural systemDon't take Ma-Huang (Ephedra) because it's a powerful adrenalin (epinephrine) stimulant, triggering adrenalin rushes.Don't take Kava Kava, it can intensify (SSRI) antidepressant (withdrawal) side-effects or give flashbacks to previous side-effects you experienced.Eat neutral alkaloids, vegetables, etc..Consider fasting for 1 to 10 days. Fasting detoxifies your body, but be careful and monitor your bloodsugar levels daily.Don't do any intensive exercise like jogging or aerobics, but instead try meditation, gentle stretching, gentle walking.Go out in Nature, or go to a Sauna, or whatever environment where you may find a little peace of mind and body.Listen to light Classic music or New Age music, watch cartoons (or anything else without violence), go walking, take hot or cold showers, anything that might work for you, anything to "manage" the "twilight zone" of suicidal and offensive thoughts and dissociated emotions.Focus on memories of events in your past (like childhood memories) which will recall positive emotions. Hang on to them!Learn during this period, which thought or view will give you any positive emotional response and write this down into the form of an affirmation! Read these affirmations for yourself every morning when you wake up! In this way you will slightly re-program your brain to tune into positive emotions.Time and Nature will be your best friends in your healing process. In this battle you don't fight to win because you can't. You simply will survive it. Focus on the thought to survive this, and you will, just as other individuals did. Don't force yourself to become the person again that you were before this, but make a statement to yourself that you will come out of this "trip." Make this statement to your self everyday, every hour.Whilst You are Recovering...We strongly persist not to take any supplements, herbs and/or synthetic vitamins until your nervous system has strengthened over time. Continue to ingest proper food, vegetables and fruit during this period. Treat your nervous system with care. As mentioned above: don't think when the better days arrive that you can charge your nervous system like you always did before. It will give you a major set-back! Be careful and monitor your body closely whilst you are ingesting a supplement or herb.The above helped me many times.

Edited by Altostrata
added link, changed name by request
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Member

 

I'm not trying to sound any alarms. I don't think I could harm myself. I just cannot envision any future or any way that my situation is going to improve. I've been purposeless, life without meaning, for over 10 years. I know there are alot of people on disability from young ages (as Whitaker writes about) but never hear about how all of those people survive the emptiness. I can't imagine living like this for another year, let alone 10 or 20 more.

 

Hi Barb,

 

I think for all of us humans life is just plain hard. Period. We might have an internal picture of what we think a 'purposeful' life looks like and if ours differs, we chuck it all out and say ours is purposeless, empty, wasted. Since I do not know WHAT the purpose of life is (others can TELL me what they THINK it is), I'm out on a limb with the rest of you.

 

If I just pick any arbitrary purpose, lets say: "The purpose of life is to live" and start there, this is what I see. Actually, I see 'nothing'. I have to experience it, then look back and describe it, all the while continuing to 'live'. (Sheesh, I feel like I've just tied my mind in a knot!)

 

So if 'future-thinking' and 'past-thinking' are forms of rumination (which is bad for me) and I cut them off the moment I notice I am doing them (Alto told me that is called 'changing the channel'), life happens. Without all that 'pressure' of judgements, minute (read: mi-NOOT) planning, comparing, etc., things are turning out in ways that are really different from what I am used to.

 

What was that saying? Something like "Don't just do something, SIT there!" I think I heard it a long time ago in some metaphysical training.

 

All the best to you!

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I last took Pristiq 2 years ago and still feel as if I can't see *forward*. I don't have things to do day to day and when I try to plan, it's as if my brain has no planning or forward thinking capabilities. It's a brick wall. Or a cliff. Absolute darkness. I've never experienced anything like this prior to or while on various SS/NRIs.

 

I'm essentially on my own to get myself out or to any activities. I haven't worked since I was 39 (neck injury) and have essentially no nearby support or people to encourage me to get out of the house on a regular basis. Husband is content to stay in house alone, on computer or watching TV. We talk very little.

 

The future looks like a big black hole. I had a window earlier this year and I did force myself to go out for a drive on most days. Prior to withdrawing, I was able to see forward enough to get dressed and out of the house. If I could relax while not moving forward, I think it might be less tortuous.

 

ANY input, especially from those farther along, is greatly appreciated.

 

Hi Platinum Star

Hi all

I've been meaning to visit this site again for some time as it's 3 years since i quit Zoloft (having another short period of hypomania) & I'm still experiencing the after effects of those drugs together with the trauma of being scapegoated by toxic psychiatry & it's enabling mental health system, to hide what their drugs do to the human spirit.

 

I can totally relate to the feelinlg of being mentally immobalized & finding planning difficult. I have described the feelings I get as feeling as if 'time has ground to a halt' & I'm stopped, whilst everything & everyone else seems to be carrying on. It's difficult to put into worlds. I also sometimes feel like love is dead.

 

The comments about feeling like part of your brain is bricked off I can also relate to. It's true. That must be the part which the anti-depressants shut down or burned out with too much serotonin. It's actualy brain damage, but once you achieve a successful withdrawal, your brain can continue recovering for years afterwards which is a comfort. I totally understand about apathy & anxiety, but I have reading recommendations & weblinks which have given me great relief of the burden of not understanding what is happening to me & in finding meaning & best of all, validation for what's happened.

 

For me, I got & continue to get many answers from Dr Peter R Breggin & his wife Ginger Breggin, who's work is a must for everyone who's taken or taking psychiatric drugs. Try to get hold of a pre-loved copy of 'Your Drug May Be Your Problem'. It will provide much insight to your experience I am sure of it. Also visit the links at the bottom & review the scientific papers on the drugs & watch the presentations on YouTube called 'Simple Truths About Psychiatry'

 

If' you've had wounding in your childhood, I recommend books by Charles L Whitfield, Healing Your Inner Child & Boundaries & Relationships. Both very good.

 

The help sheet from Charly of the Netherlands, was something I re-read over & over during the firt 2 years of withdrawal. I'd been on psyche meds for 13 years so I figure I need at least the same amount of time off them for starters. One thing I read is, don't expect to be the person you were before you ever took ssri's etc.

 

I also listen to Dr Peter Breggins radio show on the Progressive Radio Network. It's just the best out there on the subject & all his shows are archived. I'll put a link at the end.

 

I don't know anyone in the UK who is even aware of having experienced what I've been through so would be pleased to hear from anyone in England, but happy to hear from anyone anywhere to be honest.

 

I also had very bad inter-dose withdrawals from benzodiazepines, like the mother of all hangovers. I still sleep with cotton wool in my ears & can't stand too much bright light, noise, agressive people, music, films or emotionally charged atmospheres. I now have a very low tolerance for stress or highly charged emotional situations. It wears me out so quickly.

 

Things will get better, but i've found it's a very long road. I'm 3 years free of psych drugs & better than I was but still with issues. I feel like my soul has been murdered & feel brutalised from my dealings with psychiatry & mental health but at the same time, I'm finding lots of meaning & validation. Living life off psych meds is a new dimension as I'm not used to the conscious experience of all stimuli without the disabling effect of psych meds, so it's a twilight zone for me.

 

There is a film called 'Spider' by David Cronenburg. A quote from the dvd cover is, it's not when you lose your mind, it's when you find it. I find I miss whole words in my typing, but I've processed them in my mind, like the thought came up in my mind but didn't transfer to action. The frontal lobes are affected by these drugs. Ability to plan, have empathy for self & others, ability to be spiritual, have love...all the higher brain functions are affected, loss of executive power & the will to live your life. I belive these drugs are a nazi/anti-Christ assault upon the human spirit which they arrest whilst numbing your fight of flight response so you don't notice the decay of your humanity. Happily, you can survive & go on to heal, but for me, it was the battle of my life & continues to be so. Love is as strong as death. Love never fails.

 

http://www.toxicpsychiatry.com

http://www.breggin.com

http://www.empathictherapy.org

http://prn.fm/category/archives/the-dr-peter-breggin-hour/#axzz2U1EHIzEA

http://www.antidepressantsfacts.com

http://www.sntp.net

http://theeffexoractivist.org

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy