cleansteve Odd compilation of symptoms...or maybe not

[cleansteve]

I'm kinda confused about whether I am having withdrawals or have something else going on. I've been telling myself I'm having withdrawals, and can't seem to find anything that defines an illness I might have, but I'm looking for support and feedback to reassure me I'm doing the right thing. I have the following symptoms:

 

-Morning...cortisol/adrenaline/anxiety

-Which sometimes continues throughout the day

-Dry kinda pasty mouth

-Sore tongue

-Loose stool

-Persistent negative thoughts

-Cog fog

-Insomnia (I take 5mg of Ambien)

 

The thing is my SSRI use was really spotty for the last 18 months. I went on and off a number of times looking for some relief of depression and anxiety. I never had withdrawls when I went off. I took Paxil, Prozac, Effexor, Zoloft, Abilify, Buspirone, Risperdal, Baclofen, Gabapentin, Hydroxzine and Lithium. I mostly took Zoloft but in all this bouncing around I never did more than 8 weeks straight of anything. That said I was probably taking a SSRI of some sort about 250 days in the last year. I probably took a mood stabilizer when I wasn't taking an SSRI and a lot of the time I took both. Some times my depression or anxiety got worse as we increased the dose so I took less or stopped until I felt better. Again, no withdrawal that I noticed. The last round was Zoloft, which I took for about 6 weeks and then went c/t. That was maybe 7-8 weeks ago and I'm still feeling pretty off (see above symptoms). To be honest, the line of when I went on and off of this med or that is pretty blurry. Now that I look at that list of drugs I took I'm pretty sure I am (or should be) in some sort of withdrawal. <Editorial/ Can you believe a Psychiatrist prescribed me all this stuff??? /Editorial> So please tell me what you think? Do I need to hunker down and go through the withdrawal process? That is what I've been doing and plan on doing but someone to tell me "yep, your in withdrawal" would boost my confidence in all this. I have enough anxiety without worrying about if this is withdrawal or something else.

 

Love and Blessings to all

[Altostrata]

Welcome, cleansteve.

 

I moved your topic here as your Intro topic, to ask questions and track your progress.

 

Anyone who's been on an antidepressant for more than a month is at risk for withdrawal syndrome. Your symptoms are classic withdrawal symptoms.

 

Going on and off antidepressants or taking them inconsistently can make your nervous system susceptible to this kind of sensitivity.

 

How much Zoloft were you taking? If I were you, I'd immediately take a low dose to see if that can help. It comes in a liquid or, if you have any tablets left, you can make your own liquid -- see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

 

You should also give up on your doctor. See this list http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/988-recommended-doctors-therapists-or-clinics/

[Karma]

Hi Cleansteve,

 

Welcome to the forum. As Alto said, "yep, you're in withdrawal." If you can share how much Zoloft you were last on, we can make a suggestion of a low dose to go back on to alleviate some of your symptoms. From there you will allow a little time to stabilize and then you can taper off slowly so that you avoid these uncomfortable symptoms.

 

Unfortunately we can believe that a psychiatrist prescribed all of these drugs ... we see people on this site all the time that have been unceremoniously switched from one drug to the other without any thought about tapering off or the consideration of withdrawals.

 

You will find lots of support here.

 

Karma

[cleansteve]

I was on 50mg of Zoloft. Towards the end I started having increased anxiety so I was told to bump it to 100mg. I did so for maybe 2 or 3 days and then just said forget it. I don't need or want the stuff. So I went back to 50mg for 2 days then a couple days at splitting the 50's so I'd say 2 or 3 days at 25mg was my taper. Do i really need to go back on the zoloft after being off for the 6-7 weeks? I'm totally open to whatever gets me feeling decent and completely off this stuff and if reinstating and doing a better taper is the way to go I'll do it. I have had a few hours of windows in the 7 weeks but I would have expected more by now.

 

Thank you guys so much. Before finding this site I felt pretty alone.

[Narcissus]

I would try follow Alto's advice and try reinstating at a low dose, say five to ten mgs, and see if things improve. If you do decide to reinstate try to be consistent. Taking anti-depressants on and off is bad news.

[Altostrata]

5mg-10mg is a good guess for reinstating at this time. You might try 5mg to start for a week and see if it helps. You don't want to go too high because you might be sensitized to it and it could make you worse.

[cleansteve]

OK, I think this was a bad idea. I took 10mg and in about 15-20 mins had a near panic attack (which never happens). Is this possible? Could be my current crazy state getting the better of me I guess. I just feel like I've paid some pretty hefty dues to get this far and reinstating is going backwards. Can I go back to nothing now that I took this one 10mg dose or am I really jacking myself up? Why why why did I do this? I was kinda OK taking nothing and soldiering on but now I'm confused as hell. I know the on and off thing is bad bad bad, but I really don't want to be on anything. Will this one dose set me back very far? I just want to wait this out and take nothing. The days are bad but I'm skirting by and feel like life will eventually return to me. Can I go back to nothing?

[Narcissus]

I took 10mg and in about 15-20 mins had a near panic attack (which never happens). Is this possible?

I'm no expert, but this doesn't seem like enough time for the medication to produce any kind of physiological effect. Am I wrong about this? I would guess that your reaction was psychological, or stems from the physiological stress you're already suffering from.

 

I just feel like I've paid some pretty hefty dues to get this far and reinstating is going backwards.

It can feel this way, but for a lot of people reinsletatement makes otherwise unbearable symptoms bearable and allows them to taper off successfully instead of simply giving up. It can be a way of going not backward, but forward. It's possible that reinstatement won't work for you, but the fact that you had a reaction within 15 fifteen minutes confuses things a bit. I would try 5 mgs instead of 10, and wait it out for at least a few days. If it doesn't help, or if it makes things worse you can go back to zero.

 

Can I go back to nothing now that I took this one 10mg dose or am I really jacking myself up?

Yes, you can go back to nothing.

 

. Will this one dose set me back very far?

It shouldn't.

 

I just want to wait this out and take nothing.

You can do this, but there is a danger that your symptoms will last longer than if you were to reinstate and taper more slowly. It's really up to you.

 

Now that your panic attack has subsided, how do you feel?

[Rhiannon]

I disagree, I think a single dose can have a pretty strong effect; I feel my meds when I take them and 15-20 minutes is about the time frame when I feel them kick in. For me, anyway.

 

I think you might want to try a smaller reinstatement. You haven't even hit the really bad withdrawal yet or seen how bad it can get a few months out. That's why we're all saying this; we don't get a kick out of slowing people down, we've just all seen, over and over and over, how much suffering people can get into. And unfortunately often by the time it really hits the worst, it's been so long that reinstatement is iffy and may not help.

 

Could you consider trying something like 2-5 mg a day for a few days and see how that goes? It's amazing how even a very small dose can give our brain what it needs to keep from crashing into the wall. You might want to start with 2.5 mg of the liquid and just see if you can handle the side effects from that.

 

I know it's hard to imagine, but given your very erratic recent history, I suspect your withdrawal can get much worse. I would seriously consider doing whatever it takes to get stable ASAP and then, after feeling stable for a month or two, doing a very slow and careful taper.

[Altostrata]

Clearly, cleansteve, 10mg is too much. You have experienced why we suggest starting lower.

 

At this point, perhaps 2mg, as Rhi suggested.

[cleansteve]

Somehow I missed these last few posts and I'm now back looking for answers.  You guys are absolutely right, I'm a few months out, 3-4, and now am feeling pretty bad.  Worse in some ways and better in others.  And since I missed all these posts I missed the wisdom of what was said.  I kind of thought I was getting better until a couple weeks ago when the panic started getting pretty bad.  After my initial attempt at trying to reinstate I got so freaked I ran from this board and just thought if I went c/t and just hunkered down I'd get through this.  And perhaps I will, but if anyone has any thoughts on whether I could reinstate or try something I'd be very greatful.  I kind of thought you guys abandoned me but it appears the emails from this site were going to my spam.  In my brain fog I never stopped to think about checking my spam folder until now.  So I apologize for ever thinking I would be abandoned.  Going forward I promise to check spam (and  get that corrected) and also check in here. 

 

I'd like to add a little more details about my symptoms and lifestyle if I may.  I am now free of all meds except testosterone cypionate and pulmicort.  No ambien to sleep and nothing else.  No alcohol either and only 1/2 a cup of coffee a day.  My symptoms are physical stimulation (light, dark, hot, cold, other) creeps me out, invasive-not-normal thoughts, anxiety and panic and some weird mental stuff I can't put a finger on.  Mental focus can be trouble at times but I have a pretty intense job as a software engineer and if you know anything about this kind of work you know it takes a lot of brain power.  I'm not sure I'm built for this kind of work any more...or maybe its the discontinuation tricking me.  Last thing I think I should note is I'm a endurance bicyclist.  Yesterday I did 120 miles and it seems like this made me feel worse afterwards.  Fortunately after 3 hours of panic on the bike the next 6 hours were pretty enjoyable and at a near normal state.  Last night and today I'm paying for it. 

[Jemima]

Many of our members have found that vigorous exercise is a bad idea when undergoing withdrawal. Withdrawal also disrupts hormonal systems, so I can't imagine taking a steroid at this time is a good thing either, but of course that's up to you.

 

You might try one or two milligrams of Zoloft for four to five days, but at three or four months out it's a toss-up as to whether or not it will help.  It's possible that a reinstatement may make things worse. Here's our topic on reinstatement, which you might want to read before deciding what to do--or not do:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

[dunerbug]

Welcome back. 

 

I'm so sorry to hear you've taken a dive down some.

 

For me, too much exercise can aggravate symptoms. I've had to stop running, which I had done for several years. 

 

Hang in there! Things will be up and down for a while, but you can get through this.

 

The mental symptoms can really make you feel like new person. (not in a good way)

I felt very odd for quite a while. 

 

A lot of the symptoms you describe, me and others here have experienced, so you are not alone.