TrishF: My Pristiq nightmare thus far

[Skyler]

Yes, and prior to that I have taken xanax, but never more than a couple of days in a row and never at a higher dosage than 1mg. I read what I wrote and I hate sounding so whining, I am just in such despair.

 

Have you been taking klonpin at least twice a week on a regular basis?  That may be often enough so you are in WD.

[TrishF]

Not to be dense about this, but could that cause the ears ringing, nausea, genral malaise?  Tried looking it up, but could find nothing that specific.  When I took the Klonopin I would get sneezing fits, weird.

[Skyler]

Not to be dense about this, but could that cause the ears ringing, nausea, genral malaise?  Tried looking it up, but could find nothing that specific.  When I took the Klonopin I would get sneezing fits, weird.

 

Definite on the ears ringing (tinnitus.. my albatross), and a long list of other issues. I couldn't answer to the sneezing fits, but would not question your experience!

 

How long ago did you take your last klonopin.  You can taper off klonopin without cross tapering to diazepam.  I wonder if this would make it easier with the doc? So he gave you a script, and mentioned no cross taper, a decidedly a BAD idea... You would need to cross taper, and there is no reason to do so if you want to come off as Xanax has a shorter half life.  Do you have enough klonopin on hand for now?

 

You need to do is estimate how much klonpin you take over 3 or 4 days, then average the amount.  Then take the averaged amount each day to see if it holds.. you can updose if need be.  To take K in small doses, you need to learn now to mix klonopin with milk, and use an oral syringe and pipette.  Post in our benzo sub forum for further assistance.. it is not a full benzo forum, but do offer a lot of good support and info.

 

For now... take the usual dose of K soonest. 

[TrishF]

Thank you so much for the info...I have plenty of the K, but I have been having this adverse reaction to it.  Hence the idea of cross tapering to something else.  I did take a small dose after work last night, and I again had the sneezing fit and after drifting off into kind of a twilight sleep I woke up and became totally restless.  I do not like this med, am really afraid of it actually.  

I have to share, it is like I am waiting for some miracle to turn me back into the person I was, just waiting and waiting.  

I am trying to hang in there, but it is so tempting to go back on something, I was at least functioning.  It is so hard to believe that just a lttle over a year ago I had been totally med free and , though far from where I wish I was, at least I was moving forward, not drowning like I am now.

I so appreciate your advice, and everyone in this forum.  I feel so much compassion here, and for that I am so grateful.

[TrishF]

I did alot of reading here again today, and again I just want to say how immensely grateful I am that so many of you take the time and the energy to put so much into helping so many of us here.  I pray that one day i will be able to get out of this incredible self-absorption and be able to do something so helpful and meaningful for others.

 

Staying away from the suggested Zoloft, and just hanging in there for the time in being.  Trying to write a little something down when I have any brief window, to remind myself it is possible.  It is just SO tempting sometimes to try for a 'quick fix'.....

 

You know, I really feel that my new GP is truly trying to help me, she is a lovely and compassionate soul, but she just doesn't 'get ' this I guess.  

[TrishF]

i am in such  state again of complete indecision and fear.  I just am becoming worse on the bad days.  I am so so tempted to try something else, the Zoloft or go back on the Pristiq, anything to make me feel anything to make me feel better.  PLEASE someone help me to get through thus and keep me away from going on another med.  In my rational moments I know it is not the answer, but I get terrified and just feel like I need to DO something.  My goal has been to make u through this brutal summer so I can go out and start walking again and exercising gently.  I WANT to exercise, I just cant seem to do it on my own.  My job of course gives me some activity, but I just feel so ill again.  please, someone, help me with some encouragment.  One more thing, I spoke with an old friend from back in my days of success, and that really sent me into a tailspin, like Rhi calls dystalgia, and it reminds me how very far I have fallen. Where oh where have I gone??

[alex]

It is very scary T; I am sorry you feel like that.

I have been there, and I am better;albeit slowly though.

For me it has been something like this:first months TERRIFYING. then VERY DIFFICULT. now is difficult.

I don't think going back to the meds is a good idea, it's too risky.

Hang in there, it will get better.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger;remember that.

 

This too shall pass.

[Meimeiquest]

What would you think of taking a little bit of Wellbutrin?

[TrishF]

Thanks, Alex. And Meimei, the Welbutrin made me start feeling so wired, even as I tapered it off. I even tried drinking some wine, hoping might help calm me, bad move, just made me loopy. Could it be like some have mentioned here that I am just super sensitive to anything that affects my nervous system, meds or stressors? I am so sick of feeling sick. I am trying to call to mind with sufficient force the moments I have felt better. And trying desperately to be patient.

Thank you

[alex]

 Could it be like some have mentioned here that I am just super sensitive to anything that affects my nervous system, meds or stressors?

 

Unfortunatelly, YES.

But the good news is that you were on the meds for a short time.I was on a similar drug for more than 4 years...and I'm doing better

Be patient, you will be allright.

[Meimeiquest]

You're right. One can get an unnecessary diagnosis of bipolar staying on meds that do that. I think once drugs start to go bad, trying more just makes things worse (no research to back that up). I think you're going thru a tough time on many fronts right now. There's a country song: When you're walking thru hell, just keep walking....

[Jemima]

Thanks, Alex. And Meimei, the Welbutrin made me start feeling so wired, even as I tapered it off. I even tried drinking some wine, hoping might help calm me, bad move, just made me loopy. Could it be like some have mentioned here that I am just super sensitive to anything that affects my nervous system, meds or stressors? I am so sick of feeling sick. I am trying to call to mind with sufficient force the moments I have felt better. And trying desperately to be patient.Thank you

 

Absolutely, Trish. Your cold turkey from Pristiq and the rapid taper off of Wellbutrin were very  hard on your central nervous system and you are no doubt extremely sensitive to any type of psychiatric drug, chemical, or stressor, at this point. You may also be experiencing withdrawal from Klonopin depending on how regularly and how long you took it. Klonopin is highly addictive.

 

Since you've been off the Wellbutrin for only twenty days, you might want to reinstate a tiny bit - perhaps 5 mg. -  and see if that helps your withdrawal symptoms.  Give it four full days before deciding if it's helping or not, because that's how long it takes. I know you probably won't like the idea, but please read our topic on reinstatement: 

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Stop Withdrawal Symptoms

 

This is a lot more gentle for your nervous system.  Once you've stabilized, you can then taper off slowly which minimizes withdrawal symptoms.  Please consider it.

[Meimeiquest]

Yes, what Jemima said. When I was on a low enough dose of Wellbutrin, for me it was 50mg, the hyper activation stopped.

[TrishF]

After reading everyone's advice here (and I thank you) I took .25mg Klonopin last night  Slept fitfully, and woke with general anxiety and tinnitus this morning.  Made myself drink an ensure, take some fish oil, and took a crumb of the Wellbutrin (don't have a pill cutter, but I took as close as I could estimate to about an 8th of a pill (10mg?) I also forced myself to take the dog out for a brisk walk.  I just can't shake this feeling of terror and dread, and I just can't make myself face other people, except at work, and that is sheerly by force of will, and because I have to provide a home for my dog.  I just look and feel wiped out.  I have to ask, should I give the Zoloft a try at a low dose, see if I stabilize emotionally and physically, then try a taper from that?  I am SO afraid of making any decisions right now, and I honestly keep feeling like my life as I know it is over.  At least I wasn't having these thoughts while I was on the Pristiq, now I have them all day almost every day, and it is terrifying.  Hoping that this little bit of reinstatement helps something.  In my younger days I was afraid of nothing, now I am afraid of everything, especially being so alone.  Thanks for listening.

[alex]

 I honestly keep feeling like my life as I know it is over.

 

 

Trish, this is sooo classic w/d!!

Everybody has the same complaint.

I used to have it too; it is "slowly" getting better.

I am getting a life back.Not the life that used to have fortunately, because that was no good, but I am starting to do things now that I couldn't do a few months or even weeks ago.

 

Hang in there, it gets better

[TrishF]

I am now riding out a full blown panic attack...second guessing taking the wellbutrin now...

[Rhiannon]

My guess is that rather than starting a new drug you would do best with giving a try to a small amount of Wellbutrin, like Jemima said, maybe 5 mg, actually measured using a scale not just "eyeballed."

 

PLUS--take a look at the Klonopin, because my guess is that right now is not the time to be taking that erratically, you could be too sensitized and getting worsening of your symptoms when it wears off, it might be best to take it carefully and regularly.

 

If you do choose to try a different AD, be aware that they are probably all kind of activating at this point, and go with a small dose.

 

But what you're experiencing is withdrawal--it sounds exactly like the way most people describe withdrawal--and in that case it seems like people generally do better reinstating a small amount of what they're actually withdrawing from if possible, rather than starting a new med.

 

Wait and see what other people suggest--I'm still learning about reinstatement and it's not my area of strongest expertise. But these are my hunches.

 

One other thing: It's tempting to draw a cause-and-effect correlation between the last thing we swallowed and the next symptoms we experience. But I've seen this lead to a crazy-quilt of med tweaking that doesn't actually help much. In withdrawal, symptoms come and go and ebb and flow regardless of what we do and don't do and often it's easy to correlate something that isn't actually correlated at all, if that makes sense.  If you do make a change, reinstate 5 mg of Wellbutrin or start a small amount of Zoloft, plan to be consistent with it and wait and watch for at least four or five days before drawing any conclusions about how it's affecting you.

[Ciera]

Hi, Trish.

This is my first post.

I felt compelled to tell you how brave you are, even if you don't see it yourself.

You have gone through so much and battling WD can be so difficult even under the best of circumstances.

I will leave it to the moderators to advise on meds etc., but please try to remind yourself with positive self-talk that you doing your best in an extremely difficult situation. Tell yourself that over and over until you believe it and can take some pride in it!

That pride, hopefully, will then be a source of strength and comfort to you.

My very best wishes to you!

PS - is that your dog in the photo? He really is beautiful!

[alex]

 

 

 

One other thing: It's tempting to draw a cause-and-effect correlation between the last thing we swallowed and the next symptoms we experience. But I've seen this lead to a crazy-quilt of med tweaking that doesn't actually help much.

 

Absolutely.

[Petunia]

I agree with everything Rhi wrote.  Before I discovered this site, and knew I was in withdrawal, I was experiencing the same symptoms as you are.  I especially relate to the constant feelings of dread and the fear of making any decisions, the feeling of being on the edge of panic all the time.

 

I was taking various medications intermittently, trying to get some relief, and trying to sleep.  It wasn't until I found this site and realized that what my nervous system needed was stability, that I actually started to 'improve' in a consistent way.  I'm still a long way from being recovered though.

 

I was taking small amounts of Xanax occasionally to get some relief, but the rebound anxiety from it was a killer, so as others have said, be careful with the Klonopin.

[Altostrata]

How are you doing now, Trish?