Magpie: Please HELP

[magpie]

I am too anxious to launch into a full detailing of my SSRI and benzo history.  Suffice it to say, I've been on some type of each (sometimes both at a time) for several times during the past 13 yrs.  Lowest does of each, but still, withdrawal has been hell on earth.  And I'm not done yet, unfortunately, it seems.

 

After my last Paxil withdrawal (2009?) (which I did too rapidly and ended up trying to off myself and then voluntarily committed myself to a hospital.)  I was put on 10 mg Prozac, 0.5 clonazepam and kept with the full 10 mg Prozac for two years.  I then switched to liquid (2.5 ml) and continued a very slow taper until May, 2013.  I CTd the benzo just last month.

 

I seemed to be doing very well after the Prozac taper.  Nearly three months, and not too much problem.  Then... wham.  Don't know if it was the abrupt benzo wd that mainly threw me into hell... don't know if it was the Prozac, even though I thought I'd tapered it incredibly slowly... Holy crap.  Am I ever traumatized right now.  Not sleeping, took off work today due to high anxiety/depression and lack of sleep.  You guys know the drill.  Serious, tight-band headaches, dizziness, nausea... surely I don't need to go on.

 

I am SHATTERED.  I don't know what to do right now.  Must I ride this out finally and just dig in for the hell-trip of a lifetime?  Will I be suicidal this time, too?  What about the benzos?  Should I start them up again and taper more slowly?  What a quandary.

 

Someone... anyone... please help me.

 

Thank you.

Edited July 31, 2013 by Karma
Moved to Introductions; added name to topic

[Skyler]

I am too anxious to launch into a full detailing of my SSRI and benzo history.  Suffice it to say, I've been on some type of each (sometimes both at a time) for several times during the past 13 yrs.  Lowest does of each, but still, withdrawal has been hell on earth.  And I'm not done yet, unfortunately, it seems.

 

After my last Paxil withdrawal (2009?) (which I did too rapidly and ended up trying to off myself and then voluntarily committed myself to a hospital.)  I was put on 10 mg Prozac, 0.5 clonazepam and kept with the full 10 mg Prozac for two years.  I then switched to liquid (2.5 ml) and continued a very slow taper until May, 2013.  I CTd the benzo just last month.

 

I seemed to be doing very well after the Prozac taper.  Nearly three months, and not too much problem.  Then... wham.  Don't know if it was the abrupt benzo wd that mainly threw me into hell... don't know if it was the Prozac, even though I thought I'd tapered it incredibly slowly... Holy crap.  Am I ever traumatized right now.  Not sleeping, took off work today due to high anxiety/depression and lack of sleep.  You guys know the drill.  Serious, tight-band headaches, dizziness, nausea... surely I don't need to go on.

 

I am SHATTERED.  I don't know what to do right now.  Must I ride this out finally and just dig in for the hell-trip of a lifetime?  Will I be suicidal this time, too?  What about the benzos?  Should I start them up again and taper more slowly?  What a quandary.

 

Someone... anyone... please help me.

 

Thank you.

 

Your post needs to be moved to the Introduction section.. but for now... the WD you are having is from the CT the benzo.  How many weeks ago did you stop taking clonozapam?  Please put a summary of your drug history in your sig line.  Thanks!

 

Reinstate to half the clon dose immediately (are you are using a pill splitter, do you have tablets on hand?).. and if you don't get relief shortly, ease back up to the full dose.  Benzos need a full taper, just like any other psychotropic.  You may not get complete relief by reinstating because you are now sensitized, but hopefully will have significant relief.

 

The benzo WD, formidable and fully as traumatic as that from an AD, is also complicating the AD taper.

 

Skyler

 

PS.. Welcome to the forum!  Good folks here, lots of good info.

[magpie]

I stopped the clonazepam about a month ago.  I was not taking it daily; only up to, say, five times a week, at either 0.5 mg or 0.25 mg dosage.  Took it mainly for sleep, but not daily.  But I'd been on it for about 3.5 yrs., so I must have been addicted.  I simply don't know, though.  Again, wasn't taking it at regular intervals, so at what dose and timing would I reinstate?  Perhaps once a day @ 0.25 mg and see how that goes initially?

 

I have already very slowly tapered the AD and discontinued that about three months ago.  It didn't appear to be too problematic, but I wonder if it's still paying me back...  Who can possibly know.  What a horrid, hellish place to be.  I thought I'd be "safe", since I tapered the AD over 18 mos. or more, and was only on the lowest dosage.

[Skyler]

I stopped the clonazepam about a month ago.  I was not taking it daily; only up to, say, five times a week, at either 0.5 mg or 0.25 mg dosage.  Took it mainly for sleep, but not daily.  But I'd been on it for about 3.5 yrs., so I must have been addicted.  I simply don't know, though.  Again, wasn't taking it at regular intervals, so at what dose and timing would I reinstate?  Perhaps once a day @ 0.25 mg and see how that goes initially?

 

I have already very slowly tapered the AD and discontinued that about three months ago.  It didn't appear to be too problematic, but I wonder if it's still paying me back...  Who can possibly know.  What a horrid, hellish place to be.  I thought I'd be "safe", since I tapered the AD over 18 mos. or more, and was only on the lowest dosage.

 

Anything more than 2 to 3 times a week for clonazepam and you would have been addicted.  RI (reinstate) that to .25 mgs.  There is no way to know how much this will help so far out, but 4 weeks or so? (was it much more), hopefully you will have a significant benefit. Do you know how to make a liquid solution?

 

Give a taper summary for Prozac.  I thought you were still tapering this.  The lower the dose, the more slowly you need to taper. My guess is you went too fast.. so you stopped both meds at the same time.. That was a big burden to put on your nervous system.

[magpie]

Thank you.  I am sorry, but in this mental state, I can barely type, let alone recall the details of the prozac taper.  I'll tell you that I started it in pill form about 3.5 yrs. ago on low dose (20 mg, I think?) and then after two years, switched to liquid and tapered very slowly for at least 18 mos.  It seemed like I was tapering very evenly FOREVER.  In a sense, I guess I was, compared to most folks' tapering schedules.

 

Now I am beating myself up for not tapering the benzo, but I honestly didn't clue in that it would require a taper.  I am so deeply saddened by all of this.

[Skyler]

Thank you.  I am sorry, but in this mental state, I can barely type, let alone recall the details of the prozac taper.  I'll tell you that I started it in pill form about 3.5 yrs. ago on low dose (20 mg, I think?) and then after two years, switched to liquid and tapered very slowly for at least 18 mos.  It seemed like I was tapering it FOREVER.  In a sense, I guess I was, compared to most folks' tapering schedules.

 

Now I am beating myself up for not tapering the benzo, but I honestly didn't clue in that it would require a taper.  I am so deeply saddened by all of this.

 

20 mgs of Prozac was not a low dose.  What were you on when you stopped tapering?  You would not find your pace slow when compared to some on this site.  We are all for the taper that maintains quality of life.

 

I will be starting to taper diazepam again soon, I was on clon initially.. and took 2 years to taper down to the equivalent of .05 mgs of clon.  If anything, tapering benzos is more tricky.  You will need to switch to a liquid taper for clonopin, but for now, just split the .5 mg tablets you have on hand.

 

Don't beat yourself up... many here have similar backgrounds med wise. You are in 'good' company.  Just focus as best you can.

 

edited 9:30 EDST

[magpie]

I am sorry; it was 10 mg Prozac capsule I started on. When I finally stopped tapering, I recall that I jumped off way down at the < 1ml mark.  It was an 18-mo. taper in all.

[magpie]

How are you feeling now, Skylar, wrt your benzo withdrawal?

[MissSerene]

I am new and haven't even posted on Introductions yet but wanted to say hang in there. I was on a benzo for years, too, and very slowly and successfully tapered off it, finishing in late 2011. Not easy but definitely worth it. Now, I have just started my AD taper. I am not knowledgeable technically speaking like other folks here, but it seems to have helped me to completely separate the two withdrawals and do each very slowly. I wish you the best.

[magpie]

Thank you, Miss Serene.

 

My pharmacist, after I told her I'd tapered off my AD already, said she wouldn't have done it that way; meaning, she would have first tapered the clonazepam.  Why is that, do you or anyone else here know?  I should have asked her!

 

I suppose it doesn't matter now.  I've tapered from the AD, and now I am going to begin tackling the clonazepam.  Waiting for the Rx to be filled now, as I'd run out.  Will begin with 0.25 1 x daily for... how long, anyway, before I try and reduce again? 

 

Apologies that I don't know more about this benzo tapering stuff.  I really do appreciate all your help, everyone. 

[Skyler]

I am sorry; it was 10 mg Prozac capsule I started on. When I finally stopped tapering, I recall that I jumped off way down at the < 1ml mark.  It was an 18-mo. taper in all.

 

It's also partly dependent on the speed of your taper.  But as you said, you have been off now for some months, so it's a done deal.

 

How are you feeling now, Skylar, wrt your benzo withdrawal?

 

Good... up until I tried to taper something else simultaneously... BIG mistake.  Miss Serene is right.. one at a time. 

 

My pharmacist, after I told her I'd tapered off my AD already, said she wouldn't have done it that way; meaning, she would have first tapered the clonazepam.  Why is that, do you or anyone else here know?  I should have asked her!

 

I suppose it doesn't matter now.  I've tapered from the AD, and now I am going to begin tackling the clonazepam.  Waiting for the Rx to be filled now, as I'd run out.  Will begin with 0.25 1 x daily for... how long, anyway, before I try and reduce again? 

 

It all depends on who you talk to.. the AD folks say taper the AD first (unless one is an antipsychotic), and unless one is having side effects from the benzo, they are correct.  Of the two classes of psychotropics, the ADs are the most activating..

 

You need to hold for MONTHS, plan on at least 6, preferably a year and it could be even longer. Until the WD symptoms stop.  And when you are ready, will need to start reducing by 5% of the previous months' dose, holding for 4 to 6 weeks each cut, because you have sensitized your system.  I know this is not what you want to hear, but the taper protocols suggested on this site are all about preserving a good quality of life while you reduce.

[Skyler]

Magpie... you will need to learn how to make liquid clon sooner rather than later so can take it three times a day, TID.  You did not need to do this before because you were not sensitized, but need to do so now to stabilize your blood levels. Open a thread on the SA benzo sub forum. Unfortunately we are not a full benzo forum, but you can get some good assistance here.

[primrose]

I am too anxious to launch into a full detailing of my SSRI and benzo history.  Suffice it to say, I've been on some type of each (sometimes both at a time) for several times during the past 13 yrs.  Lowest does of each, but still, withdrawal has been hell on earth.  And I'm not done yet, unfortunately, it seems.

 

After my last Paxil withdrawal (2009?) (which I did too rapidly and ended up trying to off myself and then voluntarily committed myself to a hospital.)  I was put on 10 mg Prozac, 0.5 clonazepam and kept with the full 10 mg Prozac for two years.  I then switched to liquid (2.5 ml) and continued a very slow taper until May, 2013.  I CTd the benzo just last month.

 

I seemed to be doing very well after the Prozac taper.  Nearly three months, and not too much problem.  Then... wham.  Don't know if it was the abrupt benzo wd that mainly threw me into hell... don't know if it was the Prozac, even though I thought I'd tapered it incredibly slowly... Holy crap.  Am I ever traumatized right now.  Not sleeping, took off work today due to high anxiety/depression and lack of sleep.  You guys know the drill.  Serious, tight-band headaches, dizziness, nausea... surely I don't need to go on.

 

I am SHATTERED.  I don't know what to do right now.  Must I ride this out finally and just dig in for the hell-trip of a lifetime?  Will I be suicidal this time, too?  What about the benzos?  Should I start them up again and taper more slowly?  What a quandary.

 

Someone... anyone... please help me.

 

Thank you.

Im sorry you are suffering. My experience may help as it started off like yours, with the c/t benzo, but it gets better.

I c/t benzos in March 2009 and reinstated five weeks later, as I could no longer bear it. I also didnt take it daily.

It did not work.

It gets better though, I tapered the benzo using the cut-and-hold method, mostly with drops less than 5%, but, I hated the way the cuts caused more symptoms.

I started daily tapering and that's when things started getting better for me.

 

If I could turn the clock back to just after I reinstated, I would have done my cuts daily, right from the start, because the daily cuts enabled healing.

 

I started my taper on 15mg valium, and dithered with the cuts as they were so harsh, but I am right down to 1.18mg valium a day, now, with the daily cuts and can see the finishing post in sight.

I was suicidal when suffering, but once recovery started after the daily cuts, my depression improved along with other horrible symptoms.

 

I used to split my pills, and it caused real problems symptom wise. It delayed things greatly for me, as I was too symptomatic to knock my next little chunk off.

Now, I wouldn't split pills, because that causes varying doses and with benzos, it's important to keep as constant a level in your blood as possible, except for the cuts, especially as you're GABA receptors are already sensitized.

I make a liquid mix with whole homogenized milk, (allows for more even distribution of dissolved benzo)

I make a 1mg valium - 100ml milk, dilutions can be adjusted individually. As valium comes in 2mg pills and not 1mg ones, my mixes are 200ml milk-2mg benzo, but, obviously, same strength mixture.

I measure out my doses in jars using 1ml and 10ml syringes.

 

I would advise anyone who is suffering from benzo withdrawal, and is tapering a benzo, to cut daily, because, using the other method took me three years to get from 15mg to 3.5mg valium, and I felt I could no longer cope at 3.5mg, until I discovered daily cuts, and got down to 1.18mg valium.

[primrose]

Magpie... you will need to learn how to make liquid clon sooner rather than later so can take it three times a day, TID.  You did not need to do this before because you were not sensitized, but need to do so now to stabilize your blood levels. Open a thread on the SA benzo sub forum. Unfortunately we are not a full benzo forum, but you can get some good assistance here.

Yes, I forgot to say, once a day dosing for clon may bring on interdose withdrawls, wheraeas twice or three times will enable a much more consistant state.