aileene Lamictal - tapering off and side effects - feeling scared and scarred

[aileene]

As I type the word scared,  ( as in scary)  I think of the words scar and  scarred (as in psychological scars).  Anyway, I do feel scared as I decrease my Lamictal dose again after attempting to reduce it about a year and a half ago.

 

At the time, I went to a psychiatrist who said he was holistic.  After a couple of months of my depression on 25 mg Lamictal, he prescribed Celexa, which made me manic, and I ended up in a psych ward.  

 

Prior to becoming manic at this time, I had let the psyciatrist know that the Celexa was making me ill but he did not want me to reduce it, until I called a second time.  I listened to him and kept taking the Celexa, when I should have just stopped taking it altogether. It was only a matter of days before I became manic.  Needless to say, the mental hospital was horrible and demeaning.  I have been out of this last mental hospital since the end of Oct. 2011.  I had not been hospitalized for 30 years prior but did have about 10-15 hospitalizations between age 16 - 35.

 

I called an attorney to sue this last dr who prescribe the celexa, but the attorney offices I called were not interested in this case.

 

I have recently been taking 100 mg Lamictal and reduced it to 50 mg.  I may need to go up to 75 mg for awhile.  I am afraid that the side effects that I seem to experience from the drug may not heal.  I have become slower in movement and thought. I get sad and negative at times.  Lately, because all I have been reading about the scams between the doctors and pharmecuticals.

 

Thank you for reading.

[GiaK]

I tapered off 500 mg of Lamictal...

 

Since then I've helped many others do it too. People find micro-tapering helpful. 

 

Getting pediatric doses (2 mg pills) is very helpful. You can get it straight from the pharmaceutical company and I don't remember the details now...Alto might know. 

 

My psychiatrist also had free samples for children. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, aileene.

 

I see you've found our Tips for Tapering Lamotrigine topic http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1122-tips-for-tapering-off-lamictal-lamotrigine/

 

If I were you, I'd stabilize on a dosage for some time, probably a month or more, then reduce very gradually. This can be done.

 

Since you were taking 25mg, why did you increase to 50mg? Have you found it helpful?

[aileene]

Thanks for writing...

 

I was taking 25 mg Lamictal about 2 years ago.  I had tapered myself down to that level of 25 mg myself, without having dr. consent.  I found it difficult to find a doctor to write a script for that low of an amount since it seems their goal is to keep me on this med for the rest of my life or else another med since I am labeled bipolar.  

 

The problem began when I was began going to a so called "complementary psychiatrist".  He was ok with the low dose of Lamictal and wrote the script for the 25 mg.  However, when he saw how depressed I was he suggested that I take Celexa.  After going in the hospital from taking the Celexa and becoming manic, I was put on a multitude of meds.  It seemed like the hospital dr put me on everything i had been on for the last 10 years all at one time.  it took some time to detoxity.  that was about 2 years ago and now i am making my second attempt to wean down to a low or nonexistant amount of med.

 

Before being hospitalized this last time, I was on the 25 mg for at least 6-months.  I found the depression hard to tolerate.  I was also having more financial problems.  At this time I have anxiety about going to work but i am trying to hang in there and keep working part time for as long as I can.

 

Today, I took 75 mg of the Lamictal and though I would like to just throw out the bottle, I know I need to go slowly, in order to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, side effects, or my mental illness tendencies.  It is difficult to tell what feelings are a result of the Lamictal taking it or not taking it or my own personality.  I was extremely pessimistic yesterday.  Taking the lamictal seems to help me to feel more positive and have more energy.  I will need to adjust so that I can feel this way more naturally without the med.  I do worry about long-term and nonreversible side effects and what this med has and is doing to my brain over the last 30+ years.  I am 57 years old and have been on med for bipolar, at times with antipsychotics, since i was 25 years old.  i know i can't expect relief overnight and maybe not for months or years to be completely off.  i am having to get used to the idea of not having a psychiatrist and i am on disability from SSA for the bipolar. 

 

I recently went to a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, whom I found supportive.  My therapist is very drug oriented and pushy so i can't discuss the problem with her.  i found that most of the therapists on medicare are the same way, pushing me to use drugs.  i may have to pay out of pocket for both a therapist and naturopathic dr.

[aileene]

BTW, A correction to my first post.  It had been about 20 years since I was in a psych ward, previous to last time.  And it has been about 30 years that I have been on psych meds.

 

 From ages 25 - 57, I have been on meds. I heard so many times to take my meds, so that is what I did.  I was able to work full-time, for about 20 years.  I finally got my disability in 2008, with the help of my psychiatrist and a disability attny.  I rec've the ssd because of the anxiety, bipolar, and fatigue.  I'm now 57 y.o.  The meds haven't made me healthy, only slower and more tired.

[Rhiannon]

Hi Aileene--

 

I suspect that part of why you're feeling the Lamictal reductions so much has to do with all the meds you've taken in the past and come off of, back on, off, etc.  Doing all of that seems to sensitize our nervous systems.  As Alto says, our nervous systems aren't made of rubber.

 

It seems to me that people get a certain amount of "slack" when they first take psych drugs (some more, some less) but that with repeated drugs and repeated variations in dosages and CTs, etc., we all get more sensitive over time and it just gets harder to stabilize.

 

With the history you describe I would say what you're experiencing is pretty normal, including the anxiety and depression you're having--in fact, I'm surprised you're doing so well, actually, good for you!

 

Can you put your drug history into your sig line? That will help us advise you better.  This link will explain:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

I think the best thing for you to do now would be to stabilize on the 75 mg (or more, depending on how recently you were taking 100 mg and whether you feel tolerably okay on the 75). I am inclined to say hold there for a couple of months at least. Keep a daily journal of how you're feeling (works best if you rank your symptoms on a number scale of say 1 to 5 or something like that)

 

and notice if you seem to be having gradual improvement (albeit with better days and worse days, but gradually more better than worse). If so, continue to hold until the improvement seems to plateau out, then commence a slow taper.

 

I'm not a doctor, but based on what I've seen other people go through and gone through myself, I think this approach will reduce the risk of a bad outcome and maximize the possibility of a good one for you.

[aileene]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and this website!  I am glad that I can document my meds and progress here!

[Rhiannon]

Aileene,thank you for those video links in your sig line. Maybe sometime you could post those in a thread (maybe in Symptoms and Self Care) so people can find them more easily? 

[aileene]

I hope you listened to and liked the videos.  The first one on sleep has helped me tremendously.  Jodie Whiteley has numerous hypnotic videos for self healing.  Her ones on depression work better for me than pills for sleeping (with no side effects!).  I also have a couple of music meditations that I find relaxing when I don't feel like following a voice.  Meditation and relaxation has help me, as it has others with mental illness .  I appreciate the suggestions for meditation in the self care section of this site.  The first day I wrote, I read it and it reminded me how important meditation is and regardless of what we are going through we can always focus on our God given breath.  I will post the links in the self care section for others to read.  I look forward to reading the other members suggestions, as well.

[aileene]

Hello Everyone-

 

There are days when I feel really great!  Like I have no need for drugs.  I am lowering my dose of Lamictal and it is now at 75 mg on the days that I take it.  I skipped 2 days before today and took a 75 mg today because of some fear and some depression that I was feeling.  I have read something like going back to higher doses, after stopping Lamictal can lead to an increase risk of obtaining a dangerous skin rash.  

 

The rashes and pictures of skin rashes frighten me as the possible side effects of taking Lamictal.  My heart goes out to those who suffer.

 

75 mg is not a very high dose, as I understand.  In your opinion, do you think I should try to take it everyday?  Am I able to skip a day now and then to help to cleanse my body of this drug?  Should I lower my dosage to 50 mg and take it everyday for some time?  I feel ok with 75 mg and skipping a day about once a week.  If anyone has info on the dangerous side effects of stopping and starting, please let me know.  Thanks. 

[Altostrata]

DO NOT TAKE LAMICTAL INCONSISTENTLY.

 

Not only do you risk throwing yourself into withdrawal and not being able to reinstate, you risk triggering a dangerous allergic reaction when you start up again.

 

It's much safer to taper gradually. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1122-tips-for-tapering-off-lamictal-lamotrigine/

[aileene]

Hello Everyone-

 

There are days when I feel really great!  Like I have no need for drugs.  I am lowering my dose of Lamictal and it is now at 75 mg on the days that I take it.  I skipped 2 days before today and took a 75 mg today because of some fear and some depression that I was feeling.  I have read something like going back to higher doses, after stopping Lamictal can lead to an increase risk of obtaining a dangerous skin rash.  

 

The rashes and pictures of skin rashes frighten me as the possible side effects of taking Lamictal.  My heart goes out to those who suffer.

 

75 mg is not a very high dose, as I understand.  In your opinion, do you think I should try to take it everyday?  Am I able to skip a day now and then to help to cleanse my body of this drug?  Should I lower my dosage to 50 mg and take it everyday for some time?  I feel ok with 75 mg and skipping a day about once a week.  If anyone has info on the dangerous side effects of stopping and starting, please let me know.  Thanks.  

 

p.s.  I posted this twice since I don't think it was in the right section before under tapering

 

[Altostrata]

I merged all of this with your existing topic, aileene. Your question is answered above.

[aileene]

Maybe I can start taking the 50 mg and see how I do with that everyday.  Before signing on to this website, I did skip days and I am used to that.  I have been out of the hospital for over 2-1/2 years.  October 25  will be 3 years out of the hospital.  After this last hospitalization, I tappered and discontinued the Geodon in several weeks and the Celexa quickly with the help of my psychiatrist.  I could start taking the 50 mg of Lamictal daily and see how I do.   Do you think that would be a good plan?  I don't want to go back and forth on dosage but I do want to take as little as needed, as you understand.  

[Altostrata]

aileene, there's nothing more I can add. Good luck to you.

[aileene]

ok, i suppose that going from 75 - 50 - 75 - 50 mg is better than skipping  a day.  I am going to try the 50 mg for a week.  thanks for your help.

 

Part of my problem is that I don't know how to handle all the injustice of it all, doctors and pharmaceutical companies making money at the expense of keeping the mentally ill hooked on drugs.  I guess I just need to handle me coming off of the drugs first and not worry about advocacy for now.  

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

My 2 cents: I agree with Alto, do not mess around with Lamictal. If I hadn't had one of those cheap wrist-type blood pressure monitors, I would have passed off the pounding headaches I started getting (as I slowly APPROACHED a therapeutic dose and was nowhere my previous dose) as just headaches. They were occurring because my blood pressure was becoming alarmingly high while I was waiting for the 'dangerous rash' to appear. At least I was smart enough to back SLOWLY off it, watching my BP the whole time. Scary.

 

Of course, everybody's different!

[Altostrata]

Alternating dosages is also a very good way to trigger withdrawal symptoms. Taper means gradual, systematic reductions.

 

Aileen, you seem determined to go off Lamictal in ways to make yourself sick.

[GiaK]

please listen to Alto Aileen...it's potentially a very ugly withdrawal...

 

there are over 300 comments on that post before I closed it to comments from people having a hell of a time with lamictal...my own taper was awful...please take advice from those of us who've learned the hard way because there was no one to tell us at the time we came off. 

 

http://beyondmeds.com/2007/12/20/lamictal-withdrawal-from-hell/

[Rhiannon]

Aileene, I'm with the others--what you are describing is NOT what we recommend here.  Please be careful. You only get one brain.

[aileene]

I am writing for information and knowledge.  I had asked about the dangerous side effects of Lamictal and get it now.  I appreciate the reinforcement of taking this medication on a regular basis, like everyday, unfortunately.  I don't think of myself as "getting sick," only getting healthy.  Thank you for the website to read on how others have experienced the withdrawal.  I have decided to continue with the 75 mg daily and not set a time to reduce.  However, I would like to find a doctor who will write prescriptions for 2 mg. To find such a doctor will be a hard task in itself.  I am hoping that my body and mind will be healing as I lower this med.  Congratulations to all of you have chosen this path of reduction and healing. 

[Altostrata]

Please re-read http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1122-tips-for-tapering-off-lamictal-lamotrigine/ closely. Lamotrigine comes in a wide range of dosages.