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Hopeless about the system


alexjuice
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I am increasingly believing that my health, and probably that of others who took psychiatric medication, has been massively influenced by a faulty belief system which underlies the modern vocational sciences. I observe a belief which, so far as I can tell, is divorced from reality. The belief is that all choices are equal. Because of this belief the signals of illness, infection and dysfunction are not recognized because it is believed that no way of being is better than any other. This is wrong since most variations are suboptimal. There are optimum ways of being and those follow from the darwinian notions of reproduction, fitness and so on.

 

I have learned that if I spit into the wind of reality that, over time, I get hurt. Reality does not bend to my will or to the willful ignorance of the faddish. Reality doesn't care what I think. I've learned that there are functions that my body is well-suited for and there are functions that it is not. These functions, those I am poorly and well-suited for, are not co-equals despite what the faddish commentariat may proclaim. I must work to put my mind and body back towards the optimal.

 

I increasingly have lost hope in modern medicine, modern media, modern food production, modern churches, modern political parties, modern historians, modern universities because they are not preaching in line with the biological preferences. For example, homosexuality is a good example which people eagerly proclaim as equal to heterosexuality when, from a biological perspective it is unequivocally undesirable for the long term viability of the human species. Since no one seems to agree with me on this point and since it is as clear to me as the fact that men are taller than women, I feel hopeless. Homosexuality is a single example, one of many, but it is very topical since it's often in the news.

 

I believe I am infected with disease and that this is related to my psychiatric medicaation history. However I do not think it is clear exactly how this relationship works and this is very disheartening. I thought for a while that my psychiatric medication affected my immune system which allowed infection to take hold. However, I realize now that many of my symptoms predate my use of psych drugs. I no longer think that too rapid tapering itself caused my withdrawal syndrome. I think it is more compicated than that. My case involved bio-illness due to posion mold, immune challenges such as parasitic infection, Lyme disease, chronic virusal infections, digestive illness, and so on...

 

Because of my experience, I see dysfunction all around me, in my family and in my city. I see the sickness in the others and I don't want to be around them because I want to surround myself with health.

 

The feeling is hopelessness. The ship is sinking and there aren't enough boats and I don't know what to do about it.

 

I am not sure if this post even makes sense. Or if it does make sense, how well it can be evaluated by others. In any event, I felt like saying it.

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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Yes. It all makes sense to me.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I increasingly have lost hope in modern medicine, modern media, modern food production, modern churches, modern political parties, modern historians, modern universities because they are not preaching in line with the biological preferences. For example, homosexuality is a good example which people eagerly proclaim as equal to heterosexuality when, from a biological perspective it is unequivocally undesirable for the long term viability of the human species. Since no one seems to agree with me on this point and since it is as clear to me as the fact that men are taller than women, I feel hopeless. Homosexuality is a single example, one of many, but it is very topical since it's often in the news.

 

 

No, no, no! This isn't true! Haven't you seen the studies that suggest there is an evolutionary benefit to homosexuality? I think it was like relatives of the gay person produce more off-spring. Homosexuality appears in many, many species. If it was undesirable, it wouldn't have survived. In a reductionist, best=purely produce children--than yeah, maybe there's no point, but that isn't how the world works. Homosexuality is another way to experience normal human sexuality. If you think about it, it would be weirder if it didn't exist, in this vast array of biology. Anyway, now-a-days, heterosexual sex isn't the only way to produce a family. We've moved beyond that. There are many ways to be human. Cultural restaints that brought us to this point in history simply didn't recognize this.

 

Part of human progress is figuring out what to do with knowledge. That's where we've gone wrong. People don't trust institution any longer, that is certain. But it stems from the fact that the belief that knowledge's meaning is self-evident has failed us.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

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Hi Finn,

I understand your point regarding homosexuality. I differ with your conclusion but I'd agree that traits can confer reproductive advantage for a life form in unexpected ways (and for unexpected life forms)... There are many examples of the phenomenon besides homosexuality which people have very strong feelings about. I think I should have used a different example... Food is one. I have a family member who is a picky eater who only eats white bread, fried foods, junk foods and so on to the exclusion of everything else... All my life my family has accomodated the picky eating of our relative... But his quirky diet was a bad diet (objectively) and the fact that he felt best eating that way meant that something was wrong (and could be helped)... Anyway my relative has had problems for the last 20 years with health, the law, finances, and has never reached his potential thus far... I don't find this coincidental...

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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