RoseSchneider: My story..we all share it I guess.

[RoseSchneider]

My name is Rose and I am from Greece. I am male and i was diagnosed with depression. My therapist told me to start using Seroxat. At the time being I had a girlfriend but due to these pills my love life was not going well. I would get too emotional, childish and as for my libido? It was not even there to begin with. I would have nightmares, vivid ones that I wouldn't forget after waking up.

So I talked with my therapist and he told me I should take a new pill called Saroten. Same results but I guess even worse too. I wouldn't sleep much, I got new phobias that I didn't even had before, I would feel my pulse and think I'm about to die and the list keeps going.

But then something happened and I really had to stop taking any pills. I once again talked with my therapist and he said that the pills couldn't have possibly do me any physical harm like that (hate me for not saying what happened to me, but it's just too personal and due to my new found phobia, any comments about it will only alarm me enough to keep having anxiety attacks).

So here I am without using pills for like, 4 months now.

This is what I got right now:

 

- I feel any moment now I am going to have a heart attack or a stroke.

- I get anxiety/panic attacks whenever I don't feel well.

- I got sickness/virus/any pathological harm, phobia. I don't really know the right term for it, though here we call it: Hypochondriac.

- After I quit the pills and for 3 months I'd feel shakes all over my body but mostly down my spine.

- My anxiety levels are so high that whenever I get an anxiety attack, my blood pressure gets red high.

- I get on with placebos such as eating a lot of garlic, drinking lots of lemon juice, cause that's the only way I can feel normal and not have any kind of an attack.

- I react completely childish

- I don't feel a thing about anything not entirely related to me. A very close person to me died and I didn't even shed a tear, but when somehow hear a song on YouTube I cry like there's no tomorrow.

 

 

In total: I have become a total ****** and I wasn't like that. I don't know if that's thanks to the pills or what not, but all I know is that I was never like this before I started taking them and then quit on them.

 

So yeah people, this is my story. I pretty much hate everything there is about my self right now (without being suicidal or anything), but I just started dealing with it. And so far...I guess I'm doing a lot of progress on my own, than using any kind of pills.

 

Peace.

 

ps: If I forget something, I might edit this post later.

Edited June 3, 2011 by surviving
added poster's name to Intro topic heading

[Neuroplastic]

Hey, Rose! Welcome to the forum. Yes, what you're describing is a typical WD. I know how rough it is. Did you do any taper, or simply went c/t with the drugs? (that is you just stopped taking them?) How long were you on Saroten? Do you experience any abating of the symptoms every now and then? Hang in there as best as you can. You'll find here great help and advice. We've all been through the same.

[RoseSchneider]

Hey, Rose! Welcome to the forum. Yes, what you're describing is a typical WD. I know how rough it is. Did you do any taper, or simply went c/t with the drugs? (that is you just stopped taking them?) How long were you on Saroten? Do you experience any abating of the symptoms every now and then? Hang in there as best as you can. You'll find here great help and advice. We've all been through the same.

 

I consulted my therapist about what I was going through and he told me I should minimize them but not quit entirely if that's what you mean about c/t (not really familiar with the terms). I was on Saroten for about a year or so. My whole treatment lasted 4 years.

Every now and then I still feel the symptoms I described in my original post. For example, today I had thai food, after eating it I started feeling about my pressure might gettin high, so now I am overdosed with garlic.

[Altostrata]

Saroten is amitriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0000666/

 

The black box warning from the FDA includes:

 

You, your family, or your caregiver should call your doctor right away if you experience any of the following symptoms: new or worsening depression; thinking about harming or killing yourself, or planning or trying to do so; extreme worry; agitation; panic attacks; difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep; aggressive behavior; irritability; acting without thinking; severe restlessness; and frenzied abnormal excitement.

Rose, it sounds to me like you had an adverse reaction to the Saroten while you were taking it. Your therapist should have recognized this and decreased your dosage immediately.

 

After you stopped, it seems you developed withdrawal syndrome.

 

The first thing to do is, stay as calm as possible. If you can tolerate it, walking will help when you get anxiety surges.

 

Personally, I have found acupuncture helps a great deal to regulate the fast heartbeat and blood pressure problems. You need to make sure the acupuncturist understands you need calming, not stimulating treatments.

 

Some of us have found magnesium citrate tablets help reduce the anxiety. Fresh orange juice or oranges can be helpful; if you don't have those, you might try vitamin C.

 

It's hard to say what will help, because everyone is different and withdrawal syndrome induces hypersensitivity to many things.

 

We're here for you, keep talking to us.

[stan]

welcome Rose !

[tramond]

Hallo Rose.......

Wellcome to the forum..we do sit in the same boat!!

 

Greetings

 

Tramond

[angie007]

Hi Rose,

 

welcome, good to have you here.

[Healing]

Welcome, Rose! Kalispera! Most of us here have experienced very similar symptoms after stopping an antidepressant. We didn't expect to have this reaction, and most of the medical establishment still does not recognize this reality. We have found that people recover fully -- the brain has an amazing ability to heal.

 

Have you found anything that gives you relief? If not, there are many things you can learn about here that may help you go through through the healing process.

[RoseSchneider]

Welcome, Rose! Kalispera! Most of us here have experienced very similar symptoms after stopping an antidepressant. We didn't expect to have this reaction, and most of the medical establishment still does not recognize this reality. We have found that people recover fully -- the brain has an amazing ability to heal.

 

Have you found anything that gives you relief? If not, there are many things you can learn about here that may help you go through through the healing process.

 

Most of these symptoms disappear in the presence of a relationship...I know it sounds stupid in a way but they don't exactly go away..they just minimize, a lot.

 

I also found that if i can get creative enough to make some music (that's what I do), it will sound depressing (as depressing as a metal/rock/electro song can sound) but it will calm me down.

 

From times to times, I feel that my parents being around also helps. Perhaps this is giving me a secure feeling.

 

There's also something I haven't mentioned (I forgot), I used to make up stories when I was feeling down to the people I first meet (this does not include family or friends I already have), to gain sympathy. But after this whole thing started, I cannot lie...at all. I prefer being cold blooded and speak of the cruel truth than say any little white lie that will probably give me a headache trying to cover it up. I don't know if this is any related or not, but I guess I had to get it off my chest.

[Healing]

It doesn't sound stupid at all, Rose. First of all, I think that anything that makes you genuinely happy is deeply healing -- in a physical, psychological, and cosmic way.

 

Secondly, relationships of all types are the most important thing in our lives. Ruptures in relationships are usually the worst stress / trauma. Things going well in relationships is usually the most healing thing there is.

 

That's great about your music-making. Keep doing that!

 

That's very interesting about your new inability to fib. It seems like this ordeal creates some kind of awakening for most people who go through it. Something changes, and you see things you couldn't see before, or have more intolerance for unhealthiness or falsehood, more yearning for your True Self. Something. Please keep sharing your observations about this!

 

[RoseSchneider]

so it's been quite some time since I last took any pills.

 

recent events:

 

- Breaking up with my girlfriend whom says she loves me but doesn't wanna be with me yet she wants us to talk just to make sure I'm OK.

- Childhood friend died recently

- My depression is getting worse day by day

- Friends sort of started to alienate me due to my emotional behavior (I'm sad..this is a buzz kill for some)

- No job (I live in Greece...)

- Health issues in which I'm dealing with

- a sad pathetic life full of TV series and movies and making music (I tried selling some songs, all I got was a donation for one of my songs)

- My parents started to notice that I feel nothing at all unless it directly affects me. For example, I will be sad if someone close to me dies but I just can't shed a tear. It doesn't happen anymore. Yet, if I listen to a song which reminds me of "her", I get all juicy and such.

 

What am I going to do? :\ this starts to feel too bad to a point I can't handle it anymore.

[Altostrata]

Rose, do you have any other symptoms other than depression?

[Crocus]

Welcome Rose. Glad you have written and hope that you take a look at some of the other parts of the forum. There is a lot of good information here and you can certainly see that you aren't alone in dealing with a tough situation.

 

I hope to hear more about what you are dealing with. My best to you. Crocus

[RoseSchneider]

Rose, do you have any other symptoms other than depression?

 

Anxiety attacks and lots of phobias. I never had those till depression kicked in and started treatment. You can ask any one from my circles. In fact I was a fearless guy who'd do whatever he wanted, whatever he was thinking of doing.

Now? I have to think the same thing over and over again till I see I am not afraid of doing it.

 

I've been meaning to talk to you about it last night on Facebook, but I didn't wanna be a burden to someone who doesn't know me.

 

Welcome Rose. Glad you have written and hope that you take a look at some of the other parts of the forum. There is a lot of good information here and you can certainly see that you aren't alone in dealing with a tough situation.

 

I hope to hear more about what you are dealing with. My best to you. Crocus

 

I know I am not alone out there. I just feel alone in here. I'm not any sort of emo dude or something. It just doesn't feel right for me. I feel like there's some bad karma or something haunting me down for things, I don't even know I ever done.

[Altostrata]

Please think of this site as a circle of friends, Rose.

 

Many of us have to contend with self-blame. It's important to stop blaming yourself for having been injured by medication. You didn't know what would happen. It's as though you had an accident one day, something unexpected that's affected your life.

 

Self-blame, beating yourself up for your limitations, fear about the future -- all of these can make your symptoms worse. We all need to become Buddhists to help ourselves recover from the neurological damage.

 

Many of us also have problems with exaggerated anxiety in withdrawal syndrome. Have you tried acupuncture? I've found this to be helpful. How are you sleeping? Are you sensitive to light?

[RoseSchneider]

Please think of this site as a circle of friends, Rose.

 

Many of us have to contend with self-blame. It's important to stop blaming yourself for having been injured by medication. You didn't know what would happen. It's as though you had an accident one day, something unexpected that's affected your life.

 

Self-blame, beating yourself up for your limitations, fear about the future -- all of these can make your symptoms worse. We all need to become Buddhists to help ourselves recover from the neurological damage.

 

Many of us also have problems with exaggerated anxiety in withdrawal syndrome. Have you tried acupuncture? I've found this to be helpful. How are you sleeping? Are you sensitive to light?

 

Well when everything is pointing in one direction and you happen to be in it, you can't really blame someone else can you?

Pardon me but I could never become a Buddhist. I am a proud Atheist believing in Science in it's pure form.

 

I have always been sensitive to light. Mostly because I used to work in a bakery and was sleeping all day long. Then worked through the net so basically I am not much of the sun light anymore.

My sleeping schedule is also weird. Can't maintain a steady one.

[Altostrata]

I didn't mean literally become a Buddhist. I meant adopting the attitudes of acceptance and receptivity, and perhaps the practice of meditation, since it calms the nervous system.

 

Your sleep might be improved, see Tips to help sleep -- so many of us have withdrawal insomnia More topics on sleep are listed here Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

 

Improving sleep is a key to recovery. One way to do this is to keep a regular schedule similar to the natural , going to bed at the same time every night.

 

Also, if you have a history of being light-sensitive, you may wish to reduce that type of nervous system stimulation, by turning down lights and not using he computer at night and wearing dark glasses during the day.

[Altostrata]

Rose -- you may be interested in this translation of the Icarus Project Harm Reduction Guide into Greek http://theicarusproject.net/alternative-treatments/harm-reduction-guide-to-coming-off-meds-greek-translation?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

[Shanti]

Hi Rose. How ya doing?

About the Buddhism and stuff. I'll tell you what I do. I don't subscribe to any religion. I personally don't like religion. But what I do, is look into all the religions and use my intuition, my heart, to guide me to whatever practices strike a chord with me. It's like seeing the Golden Thread that weaves through all religions. I like some practices that are Hindu, some Buddhist, some Taoism. Some of these things really bring Peace to my life. Such as meditation. Some of the beliefs that resonate as true with me are that we all have a divine nature that needs to be revealed. That we peel off layers of our false selves like an onion to reveal it. I don't want to sound preachy, it's just that it has helped me and wanted to share it with you. Repeating mantras like some religions do, I can see how that works too. Also, yoga. Though I can't really do Yoga right now. But there is Pranayama, which is good breathing excersise. I think I'll go post about that in the Spiritual forum.

 

I just edited this and see you're Atheist lol. You can disregard this. But maybe check out what I posted about Quantum Physics. I believe there is a Science of the Mind and that an understanding this can help our experience.

Edited October 24, 2011 by Shanti