☼ mtnbkr intro: grand mal seizure = no more psych meds

[mtnbkr]

Grand Mal Seizure = No More Psych Meds for Me

 

 My primary reason for writing today is to thank each and every one of you who has shared your story on this site – your struggles, your successes, your set-backs, your victories.  You have been a blessing in my life this past month. I was so naïve when I started the process of trying to get off of these medications!   

 

 Here’s my story:

 

 I am in my mid-forties, and have struggled with PMDD and depression since I was a teenager.   

 

 In July of 2004, after years of trying everything short of drugs, I sought pharmaceutical treatment for my symptoms.  My PCP started me on Prozac, and I’ve been on ADs ever since. I have tried a few other AD’s, but each had intolerable side-effects, and so I would always return to Prozac. This year, Wellbutrin was added to the Prozac.   

 

 The ADs give me profound relief from the depression and significantly improve the PMDD.  I am able to function.  I have a career, family, friends, and hobbies.  I’m a Prozac success story.  After a few years of being on the meds, I figured that I was one of the people who would be on Prozac for the rest of my life.  And I was OK with that.  After all, depression is a chronic illness and a fatal one at that.  The meds were keeping my problems and crazy thinking at bay.  

 

 That was about to change.  

 

 In July 2013, I experienced a grand mal seizure.  After my MRI, EEG and blood work came back without significant abnormalities, my MD concluded that the ADs (my meds had recently been increased to Prozac 60mg and Wellbutrin 300mg) had triggered the seizure.  No more drugs for me.   

 

 Wellbutrin was easy enough to leave behind.  I was off within 10 days.  The only symptom I experienced on withdrawal was an unrelenting headache.  It felt as though my head was being squeezed in a vice. I was miserable, absolutely miserable, but considering that the alternative was to have more seizures, the headaches were tolerable. I lost a few hours of work, and I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around, but I quickly emerged from those troubles.  I was ready to move on to eliminating the Prozac.

 

 I was SO naïve.  I had NO idea of the grip that Prozac had on me, my brain and my body.  My MD gave me NO warning of the profoundly debilitating withdrawal symptoms.   

 

 I thought that getting off of Prozac would be a walk in the park, or, at worst, a walk in the park on a cloudy day.  Ha!  I was SO wrong!!!!

 

 My MD’s plan for getting me off the Prozac was to reduce me by 10mg every 3-4 weeks.  The ER MD who saw me for the seizure on July 9th, had already reduced the Prozac from 60mg to 40mg.  So, with another 10mg reduction on August 9th, as directed by my MD, I was taking HALF of the dose that I’d been on a month earlier.

 

 About 5 days after dropping to 30mg, the psych symptoms began in earnest.  I was suspicious and paranoid.  I was worthless.  A complete failure.  I was physically exhausted and in constant emotional pain. All I wanted was to be dead.  Every news story reporting a murder was a disappointment – a disappointment that I was still alive but that lucky b@$+@^d – the “victim” – got to be dead.  I was done with suffering through this long, miserable life. I was resentful of all of the people who needed me to stay alive – my parents, my son, my friends, my employees.  Surely they’d get over it if I killed myself?  It was a 24-7 project to talk myself away from the intrusive, poisonous thoughts that my brain continuously bombarded me with.   

 

 Sleep was no relief.  When I was lucky enough to nod off I was plagued by horrific, graphic nightmares. It was worse than being awake.

 

 Then, about 7 days after they started, the psych symptoms evaporated.  Yes, evaporated.  Completely.  I woke up, and they were gone.  I thought I’d made it through.  I thought I was on the other side.  Now, it was going to be easy.  I’d slow down the tapering going forward.  The withdrawal symptoms wouldn’t return.  I wasn’t going to let them get in the way of my goal.  I was going to do this right and see it through to the end.  I would get off of this drug, and off of it on my first try!

 

 Wrong, wrong, and wrong again!!

 

 The PSYCH symptoms have yet to return, but my reprieve from the withdrawal lasted only 24-hours.  The next morning, I woke up and was totally debilitated by PHYSICAL symptoms of withdrawal. The world was spinning.  The vertigo was unbearable.  Light was unbearable. Sound was unbearable.  People were DEFINITELY unbearable.  My brain was Swiss cheese and fireworks.   

 

 What the #%*!!  Where did these come from?? Why so suddenly?? And so profoundly???  Was it something I ate?  Something I was exposed to? Something I did or didn’t do?  Did I need more sleep?  Less sugar? More vegetables?  Less dairy?  More exercise?  Less stress?   

 

 This was a huge setback.  I’d experienced some indigestion, head ache, blurred vision and foggy brain since starting this process.  The symptoms I woke up with on that morning were of a different caliber.  I had to fix it because I couldn’t function like this – not for more than a day, a week tops.

 

 Well, I couldn’t fix it.  These were the “waves” that people were talking about.  Symptoms come and symptoms go.  Some days are better.  Others are . . . not.  

 

 I’m reluctantly accepting that getting off of Prozac is going to be a very long, very difficult road.  To date, the psych symptoms have stayed away since that first, horrible episode.  I get a few hours, if I’m lucky an afternoon here and there, where the physical symptoms subside appreciably.  The tough days are the ones where I’m unable to work.  Or I get lost driving home.  Or I can’t string two coherent sentences together.  Or I can’t process the information that’s in front of me.  Or people ask too many questions or need me to make decisions.  

 

 I am bound and determined to get off of the Prozac as quickly as I can.  Every time I have a good afternoon or a good day (OK, I’ve only had one of those so far – but there will be more, right?), I think that I’m past the worst of it.  I pull out the calendar to map out the next steps in my tapering schedule.  Then my symptoms get worse again, and I realize that I need to continue to delay implementation of the next change.  

 

 When I told my MD of the trouble I was having with withdrawal symptoms, she advised me that instead of reducing the dose by 10mg every 3-4 weeks I could reduce by 5mg every 1-3 weeks. That still seems too fast.  I think my next reduction will be only a 2.5mg drop.  

 

 So, here I am.  Sharing this with you all.  Hoping that there are others out there who understand what I’m going through.  My family and friends don’t get it.  And actually, it’s probably best that way.

 

 I’m at 3 ½ weeks on 30mg of Prozac, and hoping to make the reduction to 27.5mg before the end of September.

 

 Smiling. 

[Karma]

Hi mtnbkr

 

Welcome to the community.  It sounds like you went off of 300 mg Wellbutrin rapidly and since you were still on Prozac it may have masked any withdrawal symptoms from Wellbutrin.  It also sounds like you started to reduce Prozac too rapidly. The problem with Prozac is that since it does stay in the system longer than other antidepressants its withdrawal symptoms take longer to show up ... and that kind of sounds like what you are experiencing.

 

Can you tell us how you tapered off of Wellbutrin?

 

Here is our information on Wellbutrin tapering: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/877-tips-for-tapering-off-wellbutrin-sr-xr-xl-buproprion/ and here is our information on Prozac tapering: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/759-tips-for-tapering-off-prozac-fluoxetine/

 

Your situation is tricky since you have a medical reason to get off of the medications.  My suggestion would be to stabilize on your current dose of Prozac before continuing your taper.  When you resume your taper go at just 10% of your previous dose.  If you find that your symptoms are still debilitating you might might be able to up-dose slightly and find some relief from some of your worst symptoms. 

 

When you get a chance please add your drug withdrawal signature: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/.  When you post updates or ask questions your signature will be displayed and the members and moderators will be able to tailor their response to your specific situation.

 

Karma

[Jemima]

Welcome to the forum, mtnbkr.  I'm sorry that you've had such a bad experience with antidepressants, but glad you found us. You'll find lots of good information and friendly support here, not to mention lots of company from others who've had a bad time with Prozac.

[Meimeiquest]

Wow! Hopefully the seizure was from the Wellbutrin, and you are at least out of the woods with that danger. If that's the case, then I would think you could taper the Prozac as slowly as needed. When my MIL started Wellbutrin, her dr. made her sign a release about the seizure risk. I really wish you the best!

[mtnbkr]

Hi mtnbkr

 

Welcome to the community.  It sounds like you went off of 300 mg Wellbutrin rapidly and since you were still on Prozac it may have masked any withdrawal symptoms from Wellbutrin.  It also sounds like you started to reduce Prozac too rapidly. The problem with Prozac is that since it does stay in the system longer than other antidepressants its withdrawal symptoms take longer to show up ... and that kind of sounds like what you are experiencing.

 

Can you tell us how you tapered off of Wellbutrin?

 

Here is our information on Wellbutrin tapering: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/877-tips-for-tapering-off-wellbutrin-sr-xr-xl-buproprion/ and here is our information on Prozac tapering: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/759-tips-for-tapering-off-prozac-fluoxetine/

 

Your situation is tricky since you have a medical reason to get off of the medications.  My suggestion would be to stabilize on your current dose of Prozac before continuing your taper.  When you resume your taper go at just 10% of your previous dose.  If you find that your symptoms are still debilitating you might might be able to up-dose slightly and find some relief from some of your worst symptoms. 

 

When you get a chance please add your drug withdrawal signature: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/.  When you post updates or ask questions your signature will be displayed and the members and moderators will be able to tailor their response to your specific situation.

 

Karma

Thanks, Karma.  I've spent a lot of time reading about the tapers on this site - the information's been invaluable.  The Wellbutrin taper was simple for me.  I simply cut the dose in half (from 300mg to 150mg) for about a week, then discontinued it alltogether.  I was lucky.  And I am sure that being on prozac helped me get through the wellbutrin taper, as you suggest.

[mtnbkr]

Wow! Hopefully the seizure was from the Wellbutrin, and you are at least out of the woods with that danger. If that's the case, then I would think you could taper the Prozac as slowly as needed. When my MIL started Wellbutrin, her dr. made her sign a release about the seizure risk. I really wish you the best!

 

Thanks. I hope I'm out of the woods re the seizures, too, because I'm really struggling with the prozac taper, and need to slow it down.

 

And thanks for sharing re your MIL.  It's encouraging to hear of an MD doing this right by getting informed consent from a patient BEFORE starting psych meds.  The possibility of a seizure woulnd't have kept me from starting the meds back in 2004, because I was in really bad shape.  However, I sure wish my physician had explained to me that the "depression" I felt when I missed a dose or two of my ADs was a WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOM and NOT part of a mental illness.  If I had known this I would have tried to get off this stuff years ago and might never have had the seizure.  BUT - since my "depression" recurred whenever the meds were interrupted I believed this confirmed that I was still depressed and needed to stay on the meds.  Over the years my MDs reinforced this belief by increasing my dosing or changing my meds whenever I was having difficulty. 

 

Sigh.  I can only go forwards....

 

-Mtnbkr

[mtnbkr]

Welcome to the forum, mtnbkr.  I'm sorry that you've had such a bad experience with antidepressants, but glad you found us. You'll find lots of good information and friendly support here, not to mention lots of company from others who've had a bad time with Prozac.

Thank you for your words of welcome.  It's very helpful to get input from others who understand what I'm going through because they, too, have experienced AD withdrawal.  It seems that most of the medical community is operating in complete ignorance of what goes on for many of us with these meds. They don't think it's real.  But reading the stories of so many others who are experiencing essentially the same sets of problems when going off ADs reassures me that there is a legitimate and profound withdrawal syndrome associated with ADs. 

 

We, the patients, are not hypochondriacs.  We are not weak.  We are not whiners.  Our bodies are addicted to these chemicals.  Sure, we don't "crave" the meds like an alcoholic or heroin addict craves his drug of choice.  But the physical withdrawal that we must go through to get OFF of these medically-sanctioned poisons is no less real.

 

Hmmm.  Guess I'm a bit angry tonight.  Luckily for me, and the rest of the world that has to deal with me, tomorrow is another day, and it's almost here....

 

For now, I'll be looking forward to stabilizing on my current dose. Then, god willing, a week of smiles, laughter and "normalcy" before attempting the next reduction.

 

-Mtnbkr

[wantrelief]

I am so sorry you not only had to experience a grand mal seizure but now withdrawal.  How scary that ADs can cause seizures out of the blue - I've never heard of that.  You sound like you are coping quite well despite everything you've experienced.  I wish you the best in your taper and hope you get some relief soon with the horrible physical symptoms you have been experiencing - hopefully it will be like the psych ones and they will disappear someday rather suddenly.

[mtnbkr]

I am so sorry you not only had to experience a grand mal seizure but now withdrawal.  How scary that ADs can cause seizures out of the blue - I've never heard of that.  You sound like you are coping quite well despite everything you've experienced.  I wish you the best in your taper and hope you get some relief soon with the horrible physical symptoms you have been experiencing - hopefully it will be like the psych ones and they will disappear someday rather suddenly.

I love you for saying that!  Thank you.

[Rhiannon]

...I sure wish my physician had explained to me that the "depression" I felt when I missed a dose or two of my ADs was a WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOM and NOT part of a mental illness.  If I had known this I would have tried to get off this stuff years ago and might never have had the seizure.  BUT - since my "depression" recurred whenever the meds were interrupted I believed this confirmed that I was still depressed and needed to stay on the meds.  Over the years my MDs reinforced this belief by increasing my dosing or changing my meds whenever I was having difficulty. 

 

 

-Mtnbkr

 

 

That's exactly what happened to me. Plus they put me on benzos for anxiety which I am pretty sure was caused by Prozac, and some other stuff for insomnia (including amitriptyline), and then some Buspar for anxiety which I am pretty sure was caused by interdose withdrawal from the Xanax. And so on and so on. Finally ended up "diagnosed" with bipolar because of a manic episode caused by being put on a pile of ADs at once. So then I graduated to mood stabilizers. Fortunately I managed to figure out what was going on and didn't get ramped all the way up to antipsychotics.

 

It's completely insane, inane, immoral, and well, like you say, one can only go forward. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, mtnbkr.

 

Wellbutrin has long been known to cause seizures, for example http://www.jaoa.org/content/107/10/441.full In addition, Prozac and Wellbutrin share a metabolic pathway in the liver called P450 cyp 2D6. This can create a traffic jam in your liver -- a drug-drug interaction -- that can raise blood levels of one or the other drug and cause severe adverse reactions.

 

Your doctors should have been aware of the potential for a drug-drug interaction between a high dose of Prozac and Wellbutrin. See http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html 

[Major interaction] MONITOR CLOSELY: The use of bupropion is associated with a dose-related risk of seizures. The risk may be further increased when coadministered with other agents that can reduce the seizure threshold, including antidepressants, CNS stimulants, acetylcholinesterase inhibitors, phenothiazines, and dopaminergic blocking agents such as neuroleptics and metoclopramide. These agents are often individually epileptogenic and may have additive effects when combined. The estimated incidence of seizures is approximately 0.4% for immediate-release bupropion hydrochloride at dosages between 300 to 450 mg/day (equivalent to 348 to 522 mg/day of bupropion hydrobromide), but increases almost tenfold between 450 mg and 600 mg/day (equivalent to 522 and 696 mg/day of bupropion hydrobromide). Data for sustained-release (SR) bupropion hydrochloride revealed a seizure incidence of approximately 0.1% at dosages up to 300 mg/day and 0.4% at 400 mg/day. Likewise, in clinical trials, an overall seizure incidence of approximately 0.1% has been reported with extended-release (XL) bupropion hydrochloride at dosages up to 450 mg/day and approximately 0.39% at 450 mg/day. The 0.4% seizure incidence may exceed that of other marketed antidepressants by as much as 4-fold.

 

ADJUST DOSE: Coadministration with bupropion may increase the plasma concentrations of drugs that are metabolized by CYP450 2D6, including many antidepressants, neuroleptics, CNS stimulants (e.g., amphetamines), metoclopramide, and some acetylcholinesterase inhibitors (e.g., donepezil, galantamine). The mechanism is decreased clearance due to inhibition of CYP450 2D6 activity by bupropion and its metabolite, hydroxybupropion. Approximately 93% of Caucasians and more than 98% of Asians and individuals of African descent are extensive metabolizers of CYP450 2D6 and may be affected by this interaction....

 

 

As you've discontinued Wellbutrin and lowered Prozac, my guess is the potential for another seizure has greatly diminished. It sounds like you now have withdrawal symptoms. If I were you, I would hold on the Prozac tapering, as Karma suggested, and see if your withdrawal symptoms decrease. Hopefully you can stabilize and then taper Prozac more gradually, perhaps with the liquid form.

 

Since you've had these severe adverse reactions, your system may be sensitized to all neuroactive drugs. They will not affect you the way they did before, you're more likely to have adverse reactions. Please take this into account in discussions with your doctors because it's likely they will be utterly clueless about it.

[mtnbkr]

 

...I sure wish my physician had explained to me that the "depression" I felt when I missed a dose or two of my ADs was a WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOM and NOT part of a mental illness.  If I had known this I would have tried to get off this stuff years ago and might never have had the seizure.  BUT - since my "depression" recurred whenever the meds were interrupted I believed this confirmed that I was still depressed and needed to stay on the meds.  Over the years my MDs reinforced this belief by increasing my dosing or changing my meds whenever I was having difficulty. 

 

 

-Mtnbkr

 

 

That's exactly what happened to me. Plus they put me on benzos for anxiety which I am pretty sure was caused by Prozac, and some other stuff for insomnia (including amitriptyline), and then some Buspar for anxiety which I am pretty sure was caused by interdose withdrawal from the Xanax. And so on and so on. Finally ended up "diagnosed" with bipolar because of a manic episode caused by being put on a pile of ADs at once. So then I graduated to mood stabilizers. Fortunately I managed to figure out what was going on and didn't get ramped all the way up to antipsychotics.

 

It's completely insane, inane, immoral, and well, like you say, one can only go forward. 

 

What a familiar tale....it's a tragedy the number of brains the big pharma companies have poisoned. And with apparent impunity. I agree - "insane, inane, immoral".

[mtnbkr]

Welcome, mtnbkr.

 

Wellbutrin has long been known to cause seizures, for example http://www.jaoa.org/content/107/10/441.full In addition, Prozac and Wellbutrin share a metabolic pathway in the liver called P450 cyp 2D6. This can create a traffic jam in your liver -- a drug-drug interaction -- that can raise blood levels of one or the other drug and cause severe adverse reactions.

 

Your doctors should have been aware of the potential for a drug-drug interaction between a high dose of Prozac and Wellbutrin. See http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html 

[Major interaction] MONITOR CLOSELY: The use of bupropion is associated with a dose-related risk of seizures. The risk may be further increased when coadministered with other agents that can reduce the seizure threshold, including antidepressants, CNS stimulants, acetylcholinesterase inhibitors, phenothiazines, and dopaminergic blocking agents such as neuroleptics and metoclopramide. These agents are often individually epileptogenic and may have additive effects when combined. The estimated incidence of seizures is approximately 0.4% for immediate-release bupropion hydrochloride at dosages between 300 to 450 mg/day (equivalent to 348 to 522 mg/day of bupropion hydrobromide), but increases almost tenfold between 450 mg and 600 mg/day (equivalent to 522 and 696 mg/day of bupropion hydrobromide). Data for sustained-release (SR) bupropion hydrochloride revealed a seizure incidence of approximately 0.1% at dosages up to 300 mg/day and 0.4% at 400 mg/day. Likewise, in clinical trials, an overall seizure incidence of approximately 0.1% has been reported with extended-release (XL) bupropion hydrochloride at dosages up to 450 mg/day and approximately 0.39% at 450 mg/day. The 0.4% seizure incidence may exceed that of other marketed antidepressants by as much as 4-fold.

 

ADJUST DOSE: Coadministration with bupropion may increase the plasma concentrations of drugs that are metabolized by CYP450 2D6, including many antidepressants, neuroleptics, CNS stimulants (e.g., amphetamines), metoclopramide, and some acetylcholinesterase inhibitors (e.g., donepezil, galantamine). The mechanism is decreased clearance due to inhibition of CYP450 2D6 activity by bupropion and its metabolite, hydroxybupropion. Approximately 93% of Caucasians and more than 98% of Asians and individuals of African descent are extensive metabolizers of CYP450 2D6 and may be affected by this interaction....

 

 

As you've discontinued Wellbutrin and lowered Prozac, my guess is the potential for another seizure has greatly diminished. It sounds like you now have withdrawal symptoms. If I were you, I would hold on the Prozac tapering, as Karma suggested, and see if your withdrawal symptoms decrease. Hopefully you can stabilize and then taper Prozac more gradually, perhaps with the liquid form.

 

Since you've had these severe adverse reactions, your system may be sensitized to all neuroactive drugs. They will not affect you the way they did before, you're more likely to have adverse reactions. Please take this into account in discussions with your doctors because it's likely they will be utterly clueless about it.

Wow.  They really just prescribe this stuff blindly.  Thanks for that information.  It's very reassuring re the seizures, and it sounds like I'm probably way past the most significant risks.

 

And re the the rate of taper, I'll be following the sage advise of all of you on this forum and going SLOWLY from here on out. Thanks for the suggestion re liquid dosing.  I expect that's the way I'll go since the dosing can be much more accurate that way.

 

 

It's truely amazing the difference between my normal brain and my brain in AD withdrawal. This stuff is nothing to take lightly.

I've been at my current dose of prozac for 3.5 weeks now.  The withdrawal symptoms are still pretty debilitating. Today I'm nauseous, dizzy, have blurred vision and just can't think or process information very effectively. Today, though, I feel like I can drive safely. That means that I can get out.  Maybe a few hours at the office.  Maybe even some exercise at the gym or a light hike.

 

Hoping for small victories today. 

 

-Mtnbkr.

[Altostrata]

The doctor who prescribed Wellbutrin with Prozac should have checked for interactions first.

[mtnbkr]

 Today.

 

 

 

 Today was a mixed bag.

 

 The morning was impossibly tough.

 

 Blurred vision, headache, nausea, dizziness.

 

 There was too much light.  

 

 And definitely too much sunshine.

 

 And too much noise.

 

 But thankfully, still no return of the paranoia, anxiety and depression.

 

 

 

 It was 11am before I made it into the office.

 

 I promptly closed the door. And kept it that way for the rest of the day.

 

 Too many people. Too many interruptions. Too many demands.

 

 But, I struggled through a few small projects.  

 

 Answered a few questions for people.  

 

 And managed to handle two important conference calls.  

 

 In the end, it was 7pm before I left.

 

 

 

 Wow.

 

 I'd managed 6 hours at the office.

 

 It wasn't pretty.

 

 It wasn't particularly productive either.

 

 But it was better than most of the days I've had since this started.

 

 And now I'm exhausted.  

 

 I hope that I can sleep.  

 

 

 

 I find that face-to-face interactions are terribly exhausting.

 

 I can only manage briefly.

 

 Then I need to pull away.

 

 I'll make any excuse.  Or none at all.

 

 I'm quite rude and abrupt about it at times.

 

 

 

 I'm easily overwhelmed by stimulation.

 

 There's too much information coming at me.

 

 I can't process it.

 

 I need to shut it out and re-group.

 

 

 

 I'm continually asking people to speak more slowly.

 

 And then even MORE slowly.

 

 I never did that before.

 

 

 

 And I can't follow transitions in the subject matter of a conversation.

 

 I need the person who's speaking to stop talking.

 

 Completely stop. And give me a long, pregnant pause.

 

 Before moving on to something new.

 

 I have to completely compartmentalize thoughts in order to hold on to them.

 

 Even then, I’m still losing a lot.

 

 

 

 It's driving me a bit crazy.

 

 No. That's not the right word.

 

 It's something slower and, well, less agitated.

 

 Because crazy would be too stimulating.

 

 

 

 Wow.

 

 It'll be nice to get to the other side of this mess.

 

 The mess that Prozac has made of my brain.

 

 I’m scrambled.

 

 And in pain.

 

 I just want to be free.

 

 And I want to be myself again.

 

 

 

 Today is day number 25 at 30mg Prozac and holding.

 

 

 

 -Mtnbkr 

 

Edited November 20, 2015 by JanCarol
cleaned up html

[flower]

I remember what Prozac did to me .I was not aware the WD could be so severe.I was told it was the safest AD to taper..I cried all the time.The symptoms got me another AD..then another...Just try to hang in there...My thoughts are with you..

[mtnbkr]

I remember what Prozac did to me .I was not aware the WD could be so severe.I was told it was the safest AD to taper..I cried all the time.The symptoms got me another AD..then another...Just try to hang in there...My thoughts are with you..

Thank you, Flower.  It's so helpful to have a forum to share what's going on and to get input from others who appreciate the reality and significance of the symptoms. I hope that you, too, are well.  Peace.  -Mtnbkr

[mtnbkr]

It's gonna be a rollercoaster today.  I felt great for the first five minutes when I woke up -- hoooray for the five minutes!!!  Now I'm dizzy, in a cold sweat, trying to steady the world while I sit at the dining room table, assessing my options for the day.  I'm going to have to lower my expectations, yet again.

 

It took me about five minutes to start the washing machine this morning because I couldn't figure out how to make it work.  It's a simple, old machine with only two nobs, and no other settings.  I wash about five loads of laundy per week.  I don't ever even think about how to make the machine work.  It's rote.  This morning, "rote" was apparently gone.  It was as though I'd never seen the machine before...

 

I find it odd that I can't seem to handle even the slightest bit of stress without my brain completely shutting down.  But I'm not feeling any anxiety.  None.  Zero.  And there's an upbeat optimism which is unfamiliar, too.  Sometimes it feels like I'm in someone else's life.  I don't recognize these reactions or experiences.  It's inexplicable.  It's SSRI withdrawal.

 

It's the morning of day 26 at 30 mg Prozac.  Today, the sun is shining.  But so far, it's not too bright for today's brain.  And the blue sky and singing birds are a welcome stimulus.  As I'd hope.

 

Sending my support, love and a smile to all of you out there on this forum.  We'll get through this, right???

 

-Mtnbkr.

[Rhiannon]

 

 

Sending my support, love and a smile to all of you out there on this forum.  We'll get through this, right???

 

-Mtnbkr.

 

yep!

[mtnbkr]

Yesterday I was given the gift of more than 4 hours without a headache.  Of course, when I realized this I was elated.  Anytime I have a good day, I think I'm on my way out of this mess.  I start planning for my next steps -- what will be my definition of a "good" day?  how many "good" days do I need before I consider a dose reduction?  if there's a "bad" day in the middle of a string of "good" days, do I need to start counting from one again?  it goes on and on.

 

Today, those thoughts were cut short. The headache's back with a vengeance.

 

I'm tired.  And grouchy.  And I want to yell at people.

 

It's day 28 at 30mg Prozac and holding.  And holding.

 

-Mtnbkr.

[EagleWolf]

Mtnbkr

 

Wow, what a ride!  I can only echo what others have said.  The negligence displayed by some practitioners is way beyond belief, in fact I still struggle to fully comprehend the enormity of my own situation, let alone others.

 

I guess at this point, similar to myself all we can do is 'hang on' and hope the ride stops soon.  I try to console myself with the fact that at least we are armed with some knowledge about the velocity and ferocity of the ride.  For those who have no information - can you imagine?  I often ponder how many people are stuck on meds for life due to a lack of knowledge or even worse still by family members pressuring them to take their meds so they can appear normal?

 

Keep your seat belt on Mtnbkr, it will come to an end one day.

 

EagleWolf

[mtnbkr]

Picked up some Omega-3 tonight because people are saying it "helps" with the WD.  Almost picked up some valerian root, too, as it's been repeatedly suggested as a sleep aid to get my internal clock re-aligned with the sun (my best rest is between 3am and noon - not exactly condussive to maintaining my gainful employment!).  Is valerian root considered an OK supplement during WD from SSRI's?  If not, I'll just keep dealing with the sleep deprivation. 

 

Thanks for your thoughts. 

 

I'm at day 32 on 30mg Prozac, and holding.

 

-Mtnbkr.

[mtnbkr]

I often ponder how many people are stuck on meds for life due to a lack of knowledge or even worse still by family members pressuring them to take their meds so they can appear normal?

 

A quote from a GP I know quite well:  Very often middle-aged and post-menopausal women are simply maintained on the AD, because "they don't do well when we try to take them off" !!!!! Aaaarg.  Really???  Do they think it'll be less ugly when my liver and other body systems fail as a result of staying ON these drugs???  ;-)

[mtnbkr]

Picked up some Omega-3 tonight because people are saying it "helps" with the WD.  Almost picked up some valerian root, too, as it's been repeatedly suggested as a sleep aid to get my internal clock re-aligned with the sun (my best rest is between 3am and noon - not exactly condussive to maintaining my gainful employment!).  Is valerian root considered an OK supplement during WD from SSRI's?  If not, I'll just keep dealing with the sleep deprivation. 

 

Thanks for your thoughts. 

 

I'm at day 32 on 30mg Prozac, and holding.

 

-Mtnbkr.

CORRECTION - I think I meant melatonin, not valerian root.

[Altostrata]

 

I often ponder how many people are stuck on meds for life due to a lack of knowledge or even worse still by family members pressuring them to take their meds so they can appear normal?

 

A quote from a GP I know quite well:  Very often middle-aged and post-menopausal women are simply maintained on the AD, because "they don't do well when we try to take them off" !!!!! Aaaarg.  Really???  Do they think it'll be less ugly when my liver and other body systems fail as a result of staying ON these drugs???  ;-)

 

GPs routinely mistake withdrawal symptoms for "not doing well."

 

See the Symptoms and Self-care forum for information about melatonin.

[mtnbkr]

I have been feeling pretty stable and functioning at about 70-95% of my "normal" capacity and health, for about ten days, with each day, overall, being a bit better than the previous day. So, I decided that I was ready to attempt my next dose reduction. 

 

Starting Friday, I reduced my prozac from 30mg to 27.5mg - an 8.3% reduction.  I have 10mg capsules to work with.  So what I'm doing is taking the first two capsules normally.  The third capsule, I dissolve in 8 tbs of juice and when it's thoroughly dissolved, I remove 2 tbs (which I toss) then drink the balance.

 

So far, I'm not noticing any WD symptoms.  However, because of Prozac's long half-life it's too early for that to mean much.  With my previous drop in dosage (on 8/9 from 40mg to 30mg per MD instructions), the real trouble hit after about 5-7 days and didn't ease up enough for me to start to function again until about 25-28 days out.  So, if I'm going to have a problem with this drop, I'm expecting to see it towards the middle or end of the week.  And this time, if there is a problem, I can't tough it out - I'll have to reinstate at least a portion of the tapered amount because I can't afford to lose the time at work or in my relationships with family and friends.

 

I'm worried, but hopeful. 

 

-Mtnbkr.

[mtnbkr]

Spontaneous laughter.  Last night.  And again this morning.  What a gift!!

 

I'm at day 5 of my most recent dose adjustment (from 30mg Prozac to 27.5mg Prozac).  So far, no problems.  In fact, today my brain, body and emotions feel quite normal. 

 

With the previous reduction, day 5 was about where the problems set in, so I'm going to enjoy the gift of this morning, and try to keep in mind the advice of those of you who have been here before - a good day is a good day, nothing more and nothing less.  Tomorrow will bring what it will bring. 

 

-Mtnbkr

[mtnbkr]

I am now 3-weeks out from my previous reduction from 30mg to 27.5mg Prozac.  The WD symptoms during those three weeks have been tolerable - they were mostly physical as opposed to psychological. 

 

I'm still not back to working full time because I just can't think or communicate or tolerate the stimulation of the office.  However, today I went ahead with my next dose reduction from 27.5mg to 25.0mg.  If I'm able to work at about 80% of my normal capacity in the following weeks, I'll continue with the taper at about this speed.  If not, I'm going to hold it here until after the holidays - those are stressful enough without adding AD WD.

 

Thanks to everyone on this sight for sharing their stories and experience.  The support and knowledge that I've found here have been invaluable.

 

-mtnbkr.

[Rhiannon]

Good to hear how well you're doing!

[mtnbkr]

Good to hear how well you're doing!

Thanks.  Every good day is a blessing.

[mtnbkr]

Wow.  I'm really, really exhausted.  I'm tired of being around people.  And tired of answering questions and giving instructions. And being the one to whom everyone turns for confirmation and validation.  I don't want to be the boss right now.  It's too much. 

 

I want to escape.  I want to be in the mountains riding my bike. With no one intruding into my space or interrupting me or expecting ANYTHING of me. I'm on edge.  I want to shout and scream. My head's been POUNDING incessantly. ALL DAY.  I cannot think.  I cannot follow conversations.  I feel stupid, and I sound stupid.

 

I want to walk away from everyone and everything in my life.  I'm not sad.  I'm not "giving up".  I just don't care.  And I don't want to be stressed.  My head is just NOT working.

 

I'm tired of WD. I'm tired of headaches.  I'm tired of noise.  I'm tired of lights.  I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of whining and complaining.

 

Hopefully I'll get some sleep and tomorrow will be a better day. And I won't be so tired.

 

-mtnbkr.

[Meimeiquest]

I'm really sorry it's all like that....and a bit hopeful that maybe my tired will get better someday as I move further from my last dose of Wellbutrin as I read of your tired. It's not depression, it's just the drag of waking up knowing that the day will be hard, you just don't know what the hard realities will be. But not long ago, I was hardly even sleeping, so waking up from sleep is progress. I really hope you can get a good ride in this weekend!

[mtnbkr]

Just a quick note to check in.  The past month has been fairly uneventful re WD.  I'm proceeding with my taper and hoping that these good days will continue.  I'm grateful for my health and a functioning brain.

[mammaP]

Hi, I'm really glad you are feeling better and hope that continues for you, thanks for checking in it's always good to see someone who is getting better. 

[Altostrata]

Yay!

[mtnbkr]

I wnated to take a mooment to express my gratitutde.  I'd say that I've recovered from the WD that I experienced in August and September following the large drops prescribed by my MDs. I'm about three months into a slower taper off of Prozac, and the weaning process is really going quite well at the pace of 2.5mg drops every 3-4 weeks.  The last few 2.5mg drops in dosage have been quite uneventful. 

 

It's been a relief to experience my cognitive abilities returning to their prior levels.  I don't feel like an idiot anymore.  I don't get lost driving home anymore.  I don't get overwhelmed by stress at the office after only a few hours anymore.  And the noise and lights are no longer troublesome. 

 

I'm grateful for each day of pysical and mental capacity that I'm able to experience.  I'm trying to stay in the moment and not worry about the return of WD as I get towards the end of my taper or about the return of my depression after full withdrawal from the ADs. I'm just trying to learn how to manage life without chemical restraints on my emotions.

 

-mtnbkr.