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Wanting to find someone who can help me


Finn

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So going through withdrawal has caused me to reflect on my pain, my experience with what would be considered mental illness and the choices that are caused by and cause my suffering. I was treated for depression, but it has never really been about depression. Depression is just an end result of years of trauma (sexual and emotional) and my inability to escape the mindset that trauma experience instilled in me. I am reluctant to speak in terms of disorders, but non-recognized complex-ptsd perfectly represents what is distressing me. But I don't know how to find someone who can help me with this issue since it's not like you can select c-ptsd on a therapist search site. I need someone who understands the complexity of what is happening to me, someone who can help me feel safe and comfortable in my own existence and help me move forward.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

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  • Moderator Emeritus

You could start by looking in the Chicago area for someone that deals with trauma.  As I understand it, there is specific training for trauma therapists/psychologists.  Really though, it's best to just meet with a few people that seem interesting and pick the one that seems like the best fit.  I will say though Finn that the heights of anti-depressant withdrawal may not be the most ideal place to engage in therapy/confront past traumas.   I might try to stabilize a bit physically before jumping into it.  Of course it's up to you, it might still be very helpful.  

 

Anyway you might look through a few lists like this one:http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?city=Chicago&spec=19

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

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I will say though Finn that the heights of anti-depressant withdrawal may not be the most ideal place to engage in therapy/confront past traumas.   I might try to stabilize a bit physically before jumping into it.

 

 

Yeah, I'm doing research now into different therapy methods and then searching for people in my area who offer what I consider t be helpful. I'm worried about going into therapy when I'm too emotionally agitated or down because it wouldn't be an accurate representation of where I am in my emotional life, but I also don't want to get into the mind set where I feel good enough so I don't do anything. It'll probably take me a while to find someone, make an appointment, evaluate if I will find it helpful anyway so this might not be an issue.

 

Just in my own perception of my life, I think the trauma I need to confront isn't in the past as much as the present. The very fact that I exist is traumatic to me, and thus, every passing day re-traumatizes me. Embracing my existence, though, breaks the cycle of trauma, so if I feel better about my existence, I can stop the trauma.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

 

The very fact that I exist is traumatic to me, and thus, every passing day re-traumatizes me. 

 

This sounds deeply existential.  Have you ever looked into existential therapy?  It's fascinating stuff, although a bit grim sometimes and it can be hard to find practitioners.  The gestalt and Jungian schools are great too.  These are just my own preferences.

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

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The very fact that I exist is traumatic to me, and thus, every passing day re-traumatizes me.

This sounds deeply existential. Have you ever looked into existential therapy? It's fascinating stuff, although a bit grim sometimes and it can be hard to find practitioners. The gestalt and Jungian schools are great too. These are just my own preferences.
Finn,

Your quote above is brilliant (in a sad way) and describes my life, too. Withdrawal brings on an existential crisis for some of us and it defies description. Have you read the thread about Long Past Traumatization and withdrawal? (My apologies if I mentioned previously).

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3655-long-pasttraumatization-might-seriously-exacerbate-your-complaints/

 

If you decide to seek therapy, I would steer away from CBT or any that deal with reframing your thinking to change your feelings. In contrast, depth therapies (including types Narcissus mentioned) delve into the early life events that originally shaped your thinking and patterns (including traumatic events).

 

I feel that several attempts at CBT over the years glossed over life issues (on top of drugs masking feelings) and now I'm dealing with all that was swept under the carpet for 20 years. I may not be using the correct terminology, but wanted to share my experience.

 

Skyler posted a thread comparing different types of therapy awhile back. Very helpful info. I will try to find links for you.

 

I agree with the concern that most therapists probably won't grasp the concept or power of emotional excavation that happens during withdrawal.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Withdrawal brings on an existential crisis for some of us and it defies description.

 

 

I used emotions to navigate the world, and when I lost the ability to feel and react, it was like being set adrift. Almost as bad is knowing you are feeling something strongly but not being able to feel it. My emotions and my ability to be expressive of my self are basically what I cherish the most, because due to my traumatic past, they were what I lived so long without. At the same time, I know how to numb myself and basically pretend my feelings, likes/ interests and what not don't exist. So I'm self defeating because for so long I had to be, but now I can't stop. I just can't break this.

 

i don't necessarily want to talk about specific things that traumatized me. I've been told that I should so that I can grieve what I've lost, but strong emotions cause me to disassociate so like that can't work. But I can't live being avoidant, numbing myself, being self-defensive. It's stopping me from getting what I want and need, and that is what is killing me, constantly triggering me. I want so much to be around people value me, who care for and support me, do things that validate and enrich my sense of self and most of all, feel connected to people/ society. Plus, I hate myself when I rehash stuff that happened long ago, no matter how awful it was.

 

If you decide to seek therapy, I would steer away from CBT or any that deal with reframing your thinking to change your feelings.

 

 I feel like CBT helped me a bit when I was younger (not in therapy but reading about what it was and how it worked). But yeah, I think I'm looking for someone with a specialty in trauma and who can do Acceptance and commitment therapy. I was reading up on that on Wiki, and it seems like it would help me.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 

 The very fact that I exist is traumatic to me, and thus, every passing day re-traumatizes me.

 

 

 

 Withdrawal brings on an existential crisis for some of us and it defies description.

 

 

I've also been experiencing this frightening shift in perception, it started quite suddenly and is such a contrast to the way I used to think/feel about my own existence.  For me, its been like a final (or maybe not final) veil of illusion has fallen away, and there it all is......reality..... layed out in all its clarity, and I can't turn away.

 

I don't know if this is just another symptom of withdrawal that some of us go through, some people here have written that it is.  Whatever it is, its decreased in intensity, this time last year it was brutal and I remember that almost every thing I looked at or thought about, brought the reality of my own existence, and potential non-existence into even sharper focus, sending waves of terror through my body.  But it wasn't just about me, I was seeing this fragility of existence playing out through everyone around me and I couldn't figure out how everyone else was just carrying on like as if everything was fine.

 

Now, it doesn't really happen, or if it does, its very mild, but I'm left with the trauma of when it was happening, so its taking me a while to learn how to relax back into life again.

 

I've also had a lot of trauma in my life, which I hadn't healed from. But I've been finding that this withdrawal process is causing me to face a lot of that past trauma and slowly, painfully, let it work itself out through my body.  It would be nice to have a therapist who is very experienced and really knows what they are doing.  My experience with therapists is that more often than not, they can cause more harm, but I do live in a very isolated part of the world which tends to be about 20 years behind the west coast of the US.

 

Acceptance and commitment therapy sounds like it might be helpful and living where you do, you should be able to find someone with some experience of it.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Acceptance and commitment therapy sounds like it might be helpful and living where you do, you should be able to find someone with some experience of it.

 

 

Actually no, no. I live in the south suburbs of Chicago, not the city proper, and I've done a search on good therapy for both ACT and DBT, and everyone is either in the city or in the north/west suburbs. Which doesn't surprise me since I've been to quite a few therapists around here, and none where too helpful, and these therapists are in nicer, trendier areas. I mean I have a car, and I enjoy trains so it isn't impossible for me to travel, but I'd want to make sure I was doing something worthwhile.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Just had an idea.  Some therapists offer skype sessions so I did a quick search by putting 'acceptance commitment therapy skype'.  Got a few hits including this one:

 

http://anxietysolutionscbt.com/services/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/

 

Maybe something like this would work for you.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Thanks so much, Petu! I'm wishing you the best as well.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

Link to comment

Finn I have found EMDR Therapy to be a great healer for trauma.  It takes the emotional charge out of the trauma.  My health insurance does not cover it.  At the time I did it they did.

 

I was very good for me.....try looking up counselors who specialize in this.....

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Looks like this probably won't be happening...I found one online who I could get an appointment with and who I thought could help me, but it turns out they are out of my insurance network, so I would have to pay full price. So I can get mental health coverage but not choose the provider, which is ridiculously unfair. I’ve seen some of the people on the in network list, and they didn’t help. It’s not even worth trying to see one of these people. I’m busy and don’t have time for crap. I can get a book and try to help myself. In fact, most of the help I’ve had has come from myself.

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

Link to comment

In my experience with my and others issues, very few good mental health people take insurance, especially if you have something relatively uncommon. Stinks!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Finn, if you can find a good experienced trauma therapist who does EMDR and somatic (body oriented) therapy, it might be worth the investment of time and money if you can afford it at all or if you can get even partial coverage from your insurance. For me with my own C-PTSD and DID, talk-only therapy and CBT was pretty much just a waste of time, but the somatic stuff was powerful and life-changing. But expensive, I understand. I would definitely benefit from more therapy if I could afford it. Stupid world we live in.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Access to mental healthcare doesn't mean you are going to be helped. In fact, often the people most need GOOD professionals can never afford them, even if they are in other care. I know, this is far from ground-breaking. That needs to be a large part of the discussion about mental health we are supposedly having right now. Just one man's opinion...

 

If I made more money, I would mind paying, you know, but I work part-time at a job that pays a few dollars above minimum wage. I'm trying to save because honestly, getting the heck out of the situation I'm in now will most likely do more for my mental health than paying a lot to see a therapist. I don't always work well with therapists either; I'm very good at dodging emotions and not being honest. I just don't open up to most people. But really, I would like to be seen by someone who specializes in trauma eventually...

Tapering Zoloft, Dec 2014

Started Lamictal

Re-started Zoloft mid-Oct 2014, 25-50mg

Stopped Zoloft end of Sept 2014

Started Zoloft July 2014, 50mg

Stopped Prozac from 3mg May 2014

Stopped Effexor Dec '13 Started 10mg Prozac

Reinstated Effexor 15mg on Nov 2013

Stopped from 21mg on Oct 2013
Effexor 112.5mg, since Dec 2012

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I agree with you and Rhi, the social systems on this planet leave a lot to be desired, probably because most of them are business systems masquerading as social systems.

 

 I can get a book and try to help myself. In fact, most of the help I’ve had has come from myself.

 

Have a look at this link from beyondmeds, it contains links to books and programs for trauma release which you can do by yourself.

 

http://beyondmeds.com/2012/04/04/thebodyspeaks/

 

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Finn, just wanted to add that EMDR does the opening up for you.  Makes it unavoidable.  Uncovers the root cause of your suffering.  I found it invaluable for helping me with sexual and emotional abuse recovery.  Perhaps you could call the offices of the therapists on your panel and ask if they do EMDR.  I have another suggestion too, but I've not read many of your posts, so I don't even know if you're a man or a woman!  Sorry.  If you're a woman living in the USA, you could check out the domestic violence center for your county, as they provide free counseling and have extensive experience with sexual and emotional abuse.  I had to do this, and they helped me tremendously.  No, you don't have to experience physical violence to qualify for their services; sexual and emotional abuse are counted as just as real- because they are!  Hope this helps.  Will pray for you.  Ellen

Ellen

___________________________________________________

insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood

lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997

 

nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood

clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997

trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering

 

rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease

midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia

repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation

 

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Ok - this may sound funny- but what is EMDR? I feel like my issues with anxiety have been a form of trauma in themselves. Would be interested in anything that could help that. Of course as you guys said finding someone good to treat us is another thing.

 

Jan. 1994 Pamelor

2000 switched to Zoloft 

2011 Zoloft pooped out- Dr. switched me directly to Lexapro15mg -had a horrible 6mths

2013 upped Lexapro to 20 mgs-pooped out

June 2013 Dr. added 150 Wellbutrin to Lexapro.

July 2013 Switched back to Zoloft 100mgs.Was still taking Wellbutrin. Lots of anxiety from the Wellbutrin

July 2013 Started to wean Wellbutrin- off by Sept.

Oct. 2013 added 400 mgs of Neurotin to the Zoloft

Jan 2014 Tapered off of the Zoloft and onto Prozac 30 mgs. Also still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Feb 2014 Reduced Prozac to 13 mgs. Still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Aug. 2014 Prozac 13 mgs. Finished with Neurotin. .7 Risperadol

 

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EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.  Sure you can google it.  It's used widely for victims of trauma, especially military veterans and rape victims.  Feels weird doing it but in my experience works. 

 

You talk briefly with a therapist, then she has you focus on what was traumatic for you, or some part of it while looking at a board with lights flashing horizontally.  Makes your brain and eyes mimic REM sleep- like you're dreaming but you're awake.  Oh, and you're wearing headphones too that let you hear what sounds like random beeps, but it's all designed precisely to get your brain to go into an REM sleep pattern while your awake.  Then after 60-300 seconds the beeps and flashing lights stops, you take off the headphones and tell the therapist what happened when you were listening and watching.  Invariably, something vividly comes to mind that you just can't stop seeing, thinking about, and having an emotion reaction too.  The therapist then asks you to think about what you just told her while watching the lights and listening to the beeps.  But when you do, another memory comes to mind to replace the previous one, and you then tell the therapist what memory came to mind next. You keep going until you get to the root cause of your anxiety, which you may well have previously repressed and been completely aware of- in my case childhood rape which I had TOTALLY forgotten about before the EMDR. Then EMDR is used further to heal the trauma your protective defenses didn't want to face.  The end result for me: MUCH less anxiety.  I was also able to forgive my perpetrators. 

 

Sounds hokey pokey, but has been shown to be very beneficial for veterans and rape victims experiencing PTSD.  Hope this at least answers part of your question.  Ellen

Ellen

___________________________________________________

insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood

lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997

 

nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood

clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997

trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering

 

rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease

midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia

repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation

 

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