MissTrish: Mirtazapine/Remeron Struggle

[Meimeiquest]

I'm glad you're moving towards stability, even though it's so hard. Remeron really seems to give people fits. I'm really sorry for all this!

[MissTrish]

You know, when I am feeling reasonably well I can look at all this objectively and understand that everybody has struggles of one sort or another.  It could be worse; I am grateful I don't have cancer.  I saw my son go through treatment for lymphoma (thankfully he's in remission) and I'm not sure I would be up to surviving that treatment.  I am grateful I don't have to today.  I look around me and I see suffering everywhere.  But I also see love and gratitude and courage.  It helps when I can remember that.

 

I am not religious, but my favorite CS Lewis quote sums up how I try to see my life:

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's "own", or "real" life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life - the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one's "real life" is a phantom of one's own imagination. This is at least what I see at moments of insight: but it's hard to remember it all the time.”

[MissTrish]

So for the most part I am sleeping, knock on wood.  I tried re-establishing at a higher dose and could no longer tolerate it.  Have felt better on the lower dosage, and have been at my current dose for 8 days.

 

I have never been prone to headaches but increasingly I am having bouts with headaches that seem to last for days.  At least this last bout seems to have been triggered by an anxiety reaction to black pepper.  It's so hard for me to know what's in foods unless I cook everything myself but we ate out for Mother's Day and I'm pretty sure something I ate was the culprit.  So I get a big stomach upset from it, revved up nervous system and can't sleep until it dies down.  This time the headache came along with it, along with terribly burning eyes and nasal congestion.  This has happened a few times since I started w/drawal and I'm really not sure how to cope with it without making the w/d worse.  Last night I took two Advil in desperation and put an ice pack on my head.  It helped some, but this morning I can feel it creeping back in.  This is day 3 of headache, and I just feel blah.

 

Is this common in w/drawal?  Could this be a weak migraine?  I've never had a migraine.  I'm ready for it to go away.

[freespirit]

Good to hear you've been able to get some sleep. Seems like a good sign.

 

Headaches were very much a part of wd for me..and something I'd only previously suffered from following a car accident. I had migraines after jumping off, including ones that were the aura minis the headache...and ones that went on for days. It was eating a lower histamine diet that mostly ended the headaches, along with vertigo, nausea, and a few other symptoms.

 

The fact that you have trouble tolerating chocolate, cinnamon, and some other spices could be connected with histamine issues. I know I've mentioned this before and it isn't that I think it's the answer for everyone..that usually comes down to many different things for each person...but perhaps worth considering. When Gia/Monica discovered this for herself, she found many other people on psych meds shared her experiences. Remeron itself is an antihistamine, so it may produce more issues than some other meds. 

 

I posted another link on the histamine thread. That woman suggests only doing an elimination diet for 2 weeks, then gradually bringing some foods back in. That's less drastic than some and wish I'd tried that, rather than going as hard-core as I did. Some people have found that going too low seemed to just make the body produce more histamine instead...so, it's very individual and requires a lot of tinkering and trying things. Now, I more try to listen to my body and eat accordingly.

[MissTrish]

I am totally on board with the whole histamine issue; I've been working toward a lower histamine diet now for months.  It seems to be trial/error.  I'm slowly identifying the triggers.  My latest one is possibly shrimp.  But the black pepper thing is insiduous - it's hard to eat foods not prepared by myself and avoid it.  It's amazing to me how foods that I've considered ordinary and have eaten all my life can now cause such havoc, lol.  I don't think it's 100% w/d; I think sometimes it's part of aging, although obviously not for everyone.

 

I'm leery of the elimination diet; it seems overwhelming to me, especially since I cook for two of us.  I do find I do very well with dairy products, although I avoid aged cheeses.  I hear so much slamming of dairy in many groups but it seems to agree with me, so I'm sticking with it.  Interestingly to me, since I'm much further down on the mirtaz ladder now, I find I can eat yogurt again with it being a major constipator.  Before, one serving of yogurt would stop things up horribly.  Now I'm eating it often, to help my stomach, although some histamine sites claim it is a histamine problem food.  So I don't know on that one - on the one hand it seems to help my stomach; otoh it's reputed to be a no-no in the histamine dept.

 

Last night I put a blend of herbs I had put together months ago on a salad.  Too late I remembered it had black pepper in it.  Today my eyes are burning like fire and my stomach is upset.  But I do know that it shall pass; it always does.  That's one of the lessons of growing older, at least to me - I know that all things pass, even if they come back around again, lol.

 

Off the subject of food, yesterday I realized that for me, music seems to be back.  For the longest time I have not been able to listen to it (other than smooth jazz for the most part) - it was overwhelming, sensory-wise.  For Mother's Day, my son hooked me up with a Chromecast device which lets me cast from my laptop to my TV, and yesterday I spent happy hours playing music that stirred my emotions (in a good way).

[freespirit]

That's wonderful news about music! I find things like this to be huge.

 

It must be much more challenging when cooking for 2. I've often thought there's no way my wife would have put up with the simple way I was eating.

 

I'm starting to question all those lists about histamine in foods. What's interesting to me is that many things that are higher in histamine are also higher in antihistamine and/or anti-inflammatory substances. Like berries for example, which are high in quercetin as well as histamine. I'm starting to focus more on the beneficial things, plus just listening to what my body is asking for. I still haven't tried tomatoes, spinach, or some of the spices.

 

I agree with you regarding dairy or anything else. It seems like there are these huge bandwagons where people decide this or that is evil and should be eliminated from everyone's diet. I think diet is highly individual. What might be poison for one person could be healing for another..and it also depends on amounts of things for each person. I believe the best thing is listening to what's true for you.

 

I've read that histamine issues more often show up in woman around menopause. So, you're right about some of it having to do with aging.

 

I still hope that things will become more settled around eating higher histamine foods again. Maybe I wouldn't go back to eating as many spicy foods, tomatoes, avocados as I used to...but would sure like to be able to eat some again. I used to eat mostly a vegetarian diet, but without being able to eat beans, dairy, or tofu...well, I need something for protein.

[MissTrish]

I eat meat because I rely on my foods for my vitamins - I simply feel better when I eat animal protein.  Also, I read a book by an investigative journalist (Nina Teichold) called "The Big Fat Surprise".  She researched the whole low-fat non-fat movement and found that the evidence it was based on was completely faulty.  I' no longer completely believe that high cholesterol is an indicator of heart disease.  And of course I can't tolerate cholesterol meds anyway!  But that's another subject, lol.

Anyway, as we've said, it's so highly individual!  I was talking about this with some friends and we agreed that food seems to be the new religion - everyone wants you to follow theirs, but in the end your path is your own.

[freespirit]

I've become a total skeptic around research. When I took a statistics course in university, the instructor told us "statistics don't lie, liers use statistics." People manipulate the studies to show whatever they want them to show...as we well know from the ad research. I was trying to find information on hemp oil for example and every single study was done by companies that sell hemp oil. How unbiased do you think that info will be???

 

I started eating some meat again around menopause, because I felt I needed the protein. However, more meat also seems to translate into more inflammation for me. I'd probably do better with organic, non-medicated diet..but can't really afford it. Or I guess I could eat a tiny, little organic diet and lose all the rest of the weight I want to. lol.

 

As I've said before, we each need to find our own medicine....sounds like you're doing great listening to your body and following that.

[MissTrish]

Not doing well at all today.  In the middle of the night, sleepless, I felt drugged by the mirtazapine and still horribly restless mentally.  I remember thinking, this is what it feels like to have a breakdown.  I am non-functional, weepy, and agitated.  I cannot do this from now on.  For the first time I considered going to the ER.  In desperation I finally took 1/2 a klonopin and it calmed the agitation down.  Not so the deep sense of hopelessness.

 

Given my sensitivity to drugs and just about every substance, I no longer know if this is w/d or the drug itself causing this.  I feel stuck between continuing to take a drug that makes me sneeze and gives me headaches, and isn't really all that good at helping me sleep anymore, and dropping more quickly to relieve those symptoms without knowing what else might be in store for me.

 

I had a little trip planned weekend after next - just two days.  A soap seminar, which I am helping organize and present (I make soap).  I now know I am in no shape to travel.  

[freespirit]

How are you feeling now? Sorry you're having such a rough go of it.

 

Are you sure about not going to the soap seminar? I understand about traveling and being away from home, which can feel like way too much. But maybe it would help you emotionally....always tough to know how to balance these things.

 

I wish the docs who prescribed us these drugs had the opportunity to fully experience what we are going through.

[MissTrish]

Hello Freespirit - thank you for checking in with me.  I appreciate that a lot.

 

I'm actually doing much better for now (knock on wood).  I did a very small reduction in dose and oddly enough I've felt better since.  It might have been a combination of things - I'd eaten some food with raw onions in it, and no-no foods for me trigger anxiety reactions, plus I'd tried a suggestion I'd read of supplementing magnesium after exercise.  Don't know if that affected it or not.  And I'd gone for a walk the day before to try to deal with the anxiety and that seemed to make it worse (excess cortisol, perhaps).  And it could simply have been the drug itself.

 

So for now (and with this process, as you know, it can change in a heartbeat) I'm steady and stable.  I've decided I really do need to make smaller and more frequent reductions because for me, the drug itself causes as much havoc as the w/d does.

[freespirit]

Glad you had some break from the nasty symptoms. The whole allergy thing adds another level of frustration to the mix I find. And in general, it is sometimes impossible to figure out what caused what....as always, I think the wisest thing is listening to your inner guidance and following that. Hope you continue to be in a window.

[freespirit]

Just stopping by to see how you're doing. I noticed your post on the exercise thread about yoga and wd. How are things going with the yoga?

 

I've only done yoga a few times, so can't speak to the different forms of it. However, as someone who's always had a more sensitive nervous system, I could say something about what I've dealt with in terms of classes. For me, what seems to be crucial is the set and setting. That is, the teacher and group might be more important than the form. Like, when you did Kundalini yoga with your friends..which might created a greater sense of safety, and hence, a more relaxed nervous system. And what I've experienced through everything from exercise classes to rehab after the car accident, the intention and experience of the teacher is incredibly important.

 

I did a qi gong class in person here for a couple of months. I liked the instructor well enough, but she used to be an exercise instructor..and the classes felt much more like that than they did qi gong. She was also young and pretty new to qi gong. I found the whole thing far too energizing. Even when I did classes at lunch time, I couldn't sleep at night. Her teacher and the one who's dvd's I follow, were both trained by the same Asian teacher...but clearly, something very different happened for each of them. Their focus is very different, and the delivery is like night and day. So, perhaps the yoga form could be more dependent on what the teacher brings to it.

 

For about a week, I've been taking a tart cherry supplement. I hesitate about recommending any supplements, given what we know about them on a sensitized nervous system. But one thing they have been studied for is for reducing post-exercise pain and stiffness, which you mentioned after doing zumba.. Plus, they are a natural antihistamine. I tried the juice first (in small amounts) and while I tolerated it fine, drinking juice is not the best thing for someone with diabetes. I haven't noticed any huge differences yet, and am only having some minor stomach upset at times. Several studies suggest it is as good as cox-2 inhibitors for arthritis pain, but minus the dangerous side effects from those drugs. Tart cherry has a small amount of melatonin, so can potentially help with sleep.

[MissTrish]

I'm doing okay; same old same old, really.  I'm still tapering more quickly than recommended for histamine reasons.  Making another cut tonight.  If I don't taper, I start itching and also, my sleep suffers.  I know it's time to cut when I start waking up really early.  Weird, I know; sort of the opposite of what you'd expect.  So I'll make another cut tonight.  But so far I'm getting enough sleep, and am feeling very, very grounded in some very good ways.  I suspect it'll get much worse, especially as I get to the place where I jump, but I'm not there yet, so am enjoying the ride at the moment.  Still working on eating low histamine foods.  Weekends are my hardest days because I tend to eat out once or twice, or sometimes enjoy a potluck w/friends, and it's so hard to avoid histamine foods!

 

I had the animal Reiki component of my training last week and it was lovely; got to hug a horse.  Horses are so incredibly therapeutic for me.  At one point I almost started volunteering at a horse therapy non-profit but just never really followed through on it.  Also was around some chickens for the first time in years and years, really.  Not so enamored, lol.  I've toyed w/the idea of backyard chickens, but considering I'd be stuck w/post-menopausal chickens once they quit laying, and knowing I am fundamentally incapable of sending them to the frying pan, I just look around for fresh eggs to barter for.

 

I'm doing self-Reiki every morning and working on aligning my chakras.  I had a Chakra alignment on Saturday done by a friend who uses tuning forks, and she unblocked my solar plexus and throat chakras.  That last one does interest me because my thyroid (associated with throat chakra) is on the high end of normal.  I've been looking at that, but am reluctant to try any supplements, although another friend gave me some powdered bladderwrack to try.  Haven't dared yet.  Anyway, I'm in a Facebook group for people recovering from psych drugs, and there is a guy on there who suggested I use Reiki to heal the me I was before psych drugs.  I do know you can send Reiki energy into the past and the future, so I'm working a bit on that.

 

Yoga, I am still doing - it's a 'gentle' yoga class, which basically means not a whole lot of plank.  I don't have strong forearms and plank and long times spent in down dog just aren't something I can really do.  And I'm doing 'zumba gold', which is zumba for older adults, twice a week.  I am noticing more fatigue the further down I get on my taper (is that normal?) and sometimes I have to push myself to go, but I think it's good for me to move.  I'm struggling some with my back.  I know it's because I sit too much, plus it's hard to find shoes that are completely flat.  My chakra friend, who is also a physical trainer, believes in absolutely flat shoes, no heel at all, for spine health.  It's amazing that even athletic shoes have a bit of a heel to them.  I'm going to the chiropractor tomorrow - one hip is currently higher than the other one, and I know she can put me right.

 

I have some tart cherry juice and I keep forgetting to drink it!  I read on one site that cherries are no-nos in the histamine world, but there is so much conflicting info that I don't know if that's true or not.  I'm not pre-diabetic, although my sugars were on the high end of normal so I'd do well to watch it.  But I do have problems with sugar!   Well, the problem lies mostly in avoiding it, lol.

 

Just trying to live a balanced life, spiritually, mentally and physically.  I do have a small group of women I meet with regularly who are like-minded spiritually and that is a huge help to me.

 

Thank you for checking in on me; I'm sure I'll be posting 'in-crisis' at some point.  Almost did this past Sunday/Monday when the foods I ate, no doubt (agreed to Mexican food w/hubby - cumin is a trigger for me), along with my reaction to the Remeron, had me breaking out in hives.  But it's gotten a bit better, although I can tell by my sleep it's time to make another small cut.

[freespirit]

Sounds like things are coming along. I think that's great about using Reiki in that way. I was doing that for awhile too, mostly sending to the past...you can set the same intention with qi gong--to go back to a time before health issues began, in order to change your current state of health. I was doing that every time for awhile, then forgot about it. Need to bring that back again.

 

I love horses too. Maybe once I'm feeling better, I'll see if there's a way to volunteer with them. I used to volunteer at the local cat rescue, but found a few too many challenges for me at that time. I need a different, more supportive environment I think. Do you think you might follow up on working with horses in some way?

 

I know what you mean on the diet and things like cherries. There is very conflicting info. I think you pretty much have to try things and see how it is. But even then, I find I can eat something one time, but then get hives the next. I'm sure there are plenty of other factors at play. I have a feeling right now that I'm reacting more to things like the chemicals or additives, than I am to foods. I've been eating things I know are problematic at times, because I'm very, very sick of eating the same things all the time.

 

I can't remember whether my fatigue got worse as I was tapering...it's probably different for everyone too. I know there were times where it was just crushing and I was hardly able to do anything. Warmer weather made me a lot more tired as I remember. Could not handle the heat at all once I started tapering.

 

That's so great that you have your group of women...support like that can mean so much.

 

I hope this taper goes okay. Seems like you're following what feels right in your body.

[MissTrish]

I don't know if I'll volunteer or not - I'm actually not feeling depressed these days, although that could change, and I am finding that I don't seem to have a lot of spare time, although I'm not sure what all I've been doing with it.  

 

Well, although my online soap business is slow right now, I've been taking the time to be more creative than usual.  I designed a special Independence Day soap, I made a facial bar for normal/oily skin, and right now I'm working on designing a baby soap.  I've got the recipe; just working on the 'making it pretty' part.  I'm having a grandson (my first) in about a month, and someone else had also asked me about baby soap.  So thinking/planning/executing seems to be taking up some of my time.  It'd be nice to have more sales right now, but it's typically my slow time of year.  

 

And it may not pick up as much as I'd like because I have grown to hate craft fairs, so have slithered out of doing hardly any of those anymore.  The social energy required just does me in.  I do fine with small groups of people I know, but meeting 'the public' just really wears me down.

[freespirit]

Sounds good on the creative aspect. I think it's an accomplishment to be able to achieve like that during wd. I hear you on the public part. In the kinds of work I've done over the years, I wished I could afford to hire someone to do the promotion part. I am not good at it, nor do I enjoy it. 

 

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother (well, soon)...I bet that will bring a lot of joy into your life.

 

It also seems positive you're not feeling depressed right now. Even though tapering was very up and down for me, a lot of what I'd called depression over the years lifted. Other things were very present, like anger..but not that heavy feeling that had become so familiar. I felt lighter in some way, throughout the process. Like someone had removed a big weight from me.

 

Take care...and thanks again for the Reiki..and for keeping up on my thread.

[MomOf5]

Hi MissTrish.  I know you from the FB group!  Nice to see you here too

[MissTrish]

Hey!  Good to 'see' you!  Thank you for stopping by

I hope you feel some relief before too long!

[MissTrish]

I jumped last night, from 2.5 mg.  Hope I can stay there; if so American Independence Day will be Miss Trish's Independence Day.

This was not my plan; I had hoped to taper 10% at least every two weeks all the way down to the smallest microdosage, but the side effects from the drug were causing me increased misery.  I developed formication, where it felt like thousands of tiny ants were stinging me, by Friday.  Within an hour of taking that night's dose, it increased dramatically and was awful. I decided enough was enough.

So we're going to see what happens now.

Slept well last night; I know I can't count on that from now on.  I hope I can stay the course if/when the insomnia hits.

[freespirit]

I hope it is your independence day...and that things go as smoothly as possible. Will definitely be thinking of you.

 

The worst of my insomnia was related to histamine. Since you are already aware of that part, you may not have as much difficulty. I got into kind of a weird sleep cycle for awhile, but at least I was sleeping.

 

Wishing you well with this next part. I found even though the physical wd was unpleasant, I had such a psychological lift from finally being off the drug...well, that helped carry me along. I felt as though I'd climbed Mt. Everest in being able to get off them.

 

Let me know if you ever need some Reiki sent..happy to do it.

[MissTrish]

Thank you, Free.  Got close to 3 hours last night; hope it doesn't get worse.  But so far I'm in a quiet, calm phase, and was able to lie there in a meditational kind of state for quite some time when I couldn't sleep.  We'll see how it goes tonight.  I've a long climb ahead of me, I suspect.

[freespirit]

Good you were able to rest, even if not sleeping. It's tough maintaining a good attitude when not sleeping...but remaining calm when possible really helps. How have the last couple of nights been?

[MissTrish]

Good morning, Free.

Rough couple of days.  Two to three hours sleep at night (grateful for that) with the help of melatonin, which brings its own set of problems (can't take it often), or, last night, in desperation 1/2 klonopin.  Usually able to nap an hour in the afternoons.  By last night I felt so chock full of anxiety that it felt paralytic and I wasn't able to even rest.  And my appetite is becoming non-existent.  Which is not like me at all.  I'm one of those people who can always eat.  But the plus side is I've already lost two pounds.

Also, the itching/burning ramps up pretty badly every afternoon.  I found it on Wikipedia - it's called Dyesthesia.

I feel I'm reaching a sort of crisis point - not sure how long people can go on without feeling any kind of rest or respite.  Not sure there's any alternative.

I appreciate you checking on me.  I wonder why none of the admins/mods ever respond to my posts.  

[freespirit]

Every part of wd can be brutal...insomnia is right up there in my view. I imagine you've read through the insomnia thread, to see if there are any things you want to try. Are you still able to do some Reiki or meditation? When you're exhausted and wired, it can feel impossible to do anything at all. I wish I could offer something that would help. I remember doing deep breathing very often throughout the day, with the intent to lessen a buildup of anxiety...and more short, frequent bits of qi gong. Does doing yoga help at all right now? A lot of my usual standbys didn't help at the worst of it...but sometimes, Calms Forte or rescue remedy will be of some use. I know some people have reacted to homeopathics, but for me, either they work or do nothing.

 

I don't get any comments from mods on my thread either, except when I first signed on. Don't know why.

 

Hang in there...

[MissTrish]

Every day is a new adventure; for whatever reason I was able to get maybe as much as six hours of sleep last night, and I'll take it.  It means I can function today.

 

I do a brief morning self-Reiki session and send it out wherever I see a need.  It's more difficult to do with the anxiety.

 

I'm still struggling with the prickling/burning.  I read that this is common in alcohol withdrawal.  Hopefully it will ease off at some point.

[freespirit]

Good to hear you caught some rest...yep, take it when it comes. Also, I'd suggest you don't assume the worst about remeron and insomnia. I really didn't have it as bad as a lot of people on other meds on the board.

 

I hope you get some relief from the burning.

 

I hear you on the anxiety and what is possible when you experience that. I played a lot of wii through those moments. Doing something physical helped, even if only temporarily..the distraction of it was good too.

[MissTrish]

Ten days (nights) off Remeron today.  Not my best day; up all night last night.  I had that terrible fear kind of anxiety right before bedtime - terror, really - and could not get to sleep.  I panicked and took .75 mg melatonin, and then when that did not work, some Tylenol.  Think I had a paradoxical reaction to it.  The fear went away; became super-wired instead.  Up all night, of course.

 

I still believe jumping at 2.5 was the best choice; the drug was exacerbating my energy/anxiety at bedtime when I took it, although most of the time I was getting a lot more sleep than I am now.  And for the most part, the actual w/d symptoms (nausea, dizziness, itching/burning) are getting better.  But not the fear/anxiety and insomnia.  I don't know how to handle that.  A huge amount of my fear comes from knowing I have no safety net.  There is no going back - I can't tolerate the drug anymore, nor can I apparently tolerate something as easy and basis as melatonin.  I took half a Klonipin one day last week; bordered on paradoxical.

 

I am wondering if glutamate could be an issue, if I need to reduce my food list down to just some very basics.  I am hyper, hyper sensitive to just about everything now. And I have no appetite.  But last night I did have worcestershire sauce on my beef patty, and smoked salt, and also had some canned baked beans which I now believe probably have 'natural' msg in them.  Don't know if that could be the reason or not.

 

I don't know if this can heal; I don't know how all you heroes who have recovered live like this.  I don't know how I can.  I know there is no way out but through but I don't know if I can get through.

 

I was doing kinda okay there for a few days, until last night's debacle.  

 

Any words of encouragement from those who have lived to tell about it would be much appreciated.

[freespirit]

Miss Trish,

 

You can and will heal. I know how terrifying that moment is when you realize there is nothing to go back to. There is only one direction now, and that's slowly forward.

 

I had a conversation with my chiropractor about developing hives after each of the treatments I've had so far. She said it is something she commonly sees, especially with women, in relation to traumatic events. She was talking about things like car accidents, but I believe that could easily be applied to wd. It is a trauma. She couldn't identify exactly why that happens..but she wasn't surprised about hives coming up in relation to some of the trauma being activated during and after my treatments.

 

So perhaps the issues are less about the food itself and more about the state of the nervous system. I don't know that, but am beginning to wonder about this. In that case, anything and everything you can do to help settle your nervous system could prove helpful. The same is true around the anxiety and insomnia. You know this, so it isn't news...but your fight/flight/freeze is in overdrive.

 

Are there any yoga poses that you find helpful? I'm thinking things like child's pose or legs up the wall (Monica from beyond meds said she used this a lot). When things were at the worst for me, I did small bits of qi gong many times a day. Also a lot of imagery or hypnosis throughout the day. It didn't always make me sleep more, but it kept me from bouncing off the walls... it meant I wasn't so anxious at bedtime. I never had any nights of no sleep, but did have a period of waking up every hour or 2 all night long. I tried calms forte, but without luck during that time..same with rescue remedy.

 

I know it's extremely hard to do, but try to find a way to let that one night go. It doesn't mean they will all be like that. It means you had 1 super crappy night.

 

Try to bring some focus to why you wanted off the meds in the first place. That helped me ride out some of the harder moments. I knew it was the right thing and I'd just have to find a way to keep going.

 

I imagine for every one of us on here, there have been times of feeling and believing it wasn't possible to come through this...but we have..and you have already. Call on every tool you can think of, including ones that have been suggested on here. Some things you have to just ride out..and some things can be eased with this or that.

 

Can I send you some Reiki this evening?

[MissTrish]

Free, yes I agree with your chiro - I really do believe that w/d is a trauma.  I believe we have suffered brain injuries.   I also believe that what we are suffering is not limited to people who are in w/d - having been active in the chronic fatigue syndrome world for years now, I see many people who suffer the same things we do who have never taken a psych drug.  I just think in our case the drugs were the trigger, or the agent that caused the injury.  I also know a local woman who is suffering in a similar way from having taken a couple of weeks of cholesterol drugs.

 

Thankfully I had the best night's sleep last night that I've had in nearly two weeks.  I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for that.  I am also dedicated, starting yesterday, to eating in the most healthy and preservative-free way possible.  I'd been following a low-histamine food plan, but have also decided that glutamine might be a huge factor in my own personal distress.  I see that it's a neuro-exciter.  Night before last, when the big waves of anxiety/fear hit me I'd had canned baked beans, which research reveals to have lots of natural msg, along with worcestershire sauce.  And I think there was probably some pepper in the beans.  Pepper is a huge, huge trigger for me.  So I guess I'll be eating a lot of plain meats and veggies, with no tasty seasonings, but it's a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make if it makes a difference in my anxiety levels.  And being off the Remeron thankfully means I'm way less hungry than before.

 

My next huge anxiety/stressor will be Sunday night (unless that changes between now and then):  my first grandbaby is scheduled for delivery/birth on Monday morning!  I've so very much been fretting over being functional.  I went to my weekly Al-Anon meeting yesterday and a lovely woman/friend who feels free to speak plainly to me pointed out that this wasn't about me, that so what if I was tired?  She also had been up all night that previous night and she shared with me that she's weaned herself off all of her sleep meds in the past year and that when she doesn't sleep, she just gets up and goes about her normal business anyway next day.She lovingly pointed out that she'd never heard me dip into self pity before.  It was an eye opener to me - I really did need to hear that!  I'm so grateful for my 12 step program.

 

So today I'm in a much better place.  That could change in a heartbeat, but for today I will take it.

[freespirit]

So glad to hear you had a good night's sleep. It does make such a huge difference.

 

I went very bland with my diet for a long time too. It got boring, but was better than the consequences...which were more physical for me than emotional. I think staying away from most condiments early on is a good idea. Worcester sauce sometimes contains either soy or anchovies..both can be problematic in terms of histamine.

 

Some people with histamine issues are able to eat beans. I couldn't tolerate any kind for quite awhile..then strangely, could eat soybeans but not anything else. I can now do chickpeas once in awhile. However, beans are sure boring without any spices. Still limited on that count, but can do some herbs like basil now.

 

That's such exciting news about your grandbaby...and good for your friend to point out that the process isn't so much up to you. I imagine it would be nice if you can feel present, but maybe the experience itself will help you forget you're tired..if you happen to now sleep well the night before.

[AliG]

 Hi Miss Trish,  I've been catching up a bit on your thread, and was interested to read about this "Dyesthesia". I also get the "burning" , mainly in my legs. It's mainly at night . I also have the "insomnia".  Have you found anything that helps?  I'm also just getting in to the Yoga again, and that seems to help "everything".   That is lovely that you have a grandchild on the way. I hope it all goes well. 

[MissTrish]

Good morning, AliG - how are you today?  I see you are in Australia - it's definitely not morning there then.

 

The insomnia is so frustrating.  Remeron is a sedating hypnotic.  I see you've been on some meds that are similar.  Lack of that hypnotic means that I have such a hard time getting to sleep.  Every night it seems I have to work so hard to get a few hours.  But I am grateful for those few hours.

 

I do find yoga helpful.  It's my goal to do some every day but I don't always get that done.  Often I tell myself I just don't want to take the time - like I have somewhere else to be besides ruminating over my mental state, lol.  Once a week I do get to an actual yoga class, because if I go to the class I know I will get the benefit.  If I do it on my own at home I tend to cheat....  Even sometimes when doing a video.

 

My burning comes and goes.  It seems centered between my shoulder blades, oddly enough.

 

I'm so glad to hear from you!  I am glad you stopped by.  I had a rough night (which is the norm these days) and it's nice to hear from someone else who has been there.

[AliG]

 Having a rough night , also. .  Crying & burning.  It's 12. 40 pm, here.  This is "normal".  I'm so sorry , to be  painful.  I don't know  how I can do this, anymore.  I'm so sorry I was "awfull" , the other night.  I didn't mean it. Please forgive me.

[MissTrish]

No worries at all, my friend.  I totally understand.  Wishing you peace and serenity.

[johnmtz]

Hi MissTrish

 

I can relate to your original post that A/D are a danger and have been given too freely by "doctors". I am now suffering from health issues I *never* had before taking them.  I really feel your pain. I can't see clearly anymore and I have loud tinnitus that prevents me from hearing well. So I can't see nor hear well now. Thanks to Remeron.  I remember when I was just having sleeping problems...boy ...those were the good 'ol days. These drugs are toxic to our bodies and especially many years of this toxic stuff is really dangerous.

 

I hope you will find natural methods for sleep and anxiety and titrate off all these chemicals your are on safely. Folks here can be very helpful with that. Good luck..I wish you good health. No one deserves to suffer like we are.