Fenrir: my Paxil journey

[Fenrir]

Hello everybody. I'm not a native english speaker so excuse me in advance for the errors.

I started taking paroxetine 20 mg at the end of 2010 when I was 21 years old. My doctor prescribed it because I was a little depressed at that time due to university stress and I was having also some psychosomatic distress, especially in the digestive system.

 

Paxil worked fine, made me happy and relaxed but erased my libido and made me emotionless and numb.

 

My doc said it wasn't addictive (bull****) when I CT'd in 2011-2012 I lasted 8 months feeling like ****, almost completely disabled (didn't know what was going on). When I reinstated the 20mg everything cleared up so I realized that all the nightmare had been withdrawal from the paxil.

 

Now after another year of use (end of 2012 till June 2013) I'm gradually tapering but I crashed when reached the 10mg (anxiety, lack of appetite, terror, nightmares, nausea) so I realized I have to do it more slowly and updosed to 14mg about 2 weeks ago (last stable dose) hoping to get better soon. What is scaring for me is all the journey I have still to face down to 0, but I hope that tapering slowly will not be like when I ct'd and suffered so much.

 

Thank you for your time, hoping to find wise suggestions and support.

Edited November 18, 2013 by tezza
Added name to title

[Nikki]

Hi...your English is great:)  Paxil can be disabling just you pointed out.  I found it to be like that while trying to come off of it.

 

For most antidepressants, once we get to the 10mg. point it is very difficult with all of the symptoms you  mentioned.  Most updose like you did and stay put for a good while, and then, because it is all that the body will allow is to make very tiny cuts in dose and stay for longer periods of time at the dose.

 

Are you able to purchase the liquid form of paxil?  It helps alot in controlling the doses.

 

Nice to meet you.  Other members will be along shortly to speak with you......You really did the right thing for yourself.  With Paxil take your time.  It will pay off in the end.

[Fenrir]

Hi...your English is great:)  Paxil can be disabling just you pointed out.  I found it to be like that while trying to come off of it.

 

For most antidepressants, once we get to the 10mg. point it is very difficult with all of the symptoms you  mentioned.  Most updose like you did and stay put for a good while, and then, because it is all that the body will allow is to make very tiny cuts in dose and stay for longer periods of time at the dose.

 

Are you able to purchase the liquid form of paxil?  It helps alot in controlling the doses.

 

Nice to meet you.  Other members will be along shortly to speak with you......You really did the right thing for yourself.  With Paxil take your time.  It will pay off in the end.

 

Thank you for your rapid reply, yes, I'm already using the liquid form and after the put period as you said, I will do no more than 10% drops every 4-6 weeks, according on how I feel. I hope to be paxil free one day, it's very difficult.

[Rhiannon]

Lex, I know it's hard to face the prospect of tapering slowly for years. But it will work and you will go on to enjoy the life that's ahead of you.

 

And if you take it slowly enough that you stay well and don't get sick, you may find that once you get to the lower doses, under say 3 mg or so, many of the unpleasant side effects of the medication will go away, which makes the rest of the taper easier to deal with.

 

Your English is excellent! We have so many non-native English speakers on this forum who apologize for their English and I always want to remind them that in the US the majority of people are not fluent in a second language. In fact I meet many people who don't speak a second language at all, not even poorly.  So we are always impressed by people like you who can express themselves so well in English.  You have no need to apologize!

[Nikki]

With the liquid there is not need to follow the 10% suggestion of tapering.  It can be done by 1mg. at a time if that is what your body can handle, or even less than that.

 

I know people who had to take miniscule drops in dose to get off Paxil.  They made a decision to forget about the time it took and it did take time.

 

When I was tapering Lexapro and using the liquid I stuck to a drop of one mg. at a time.  10% was too much for me and maybe for you too.

 

Drop what you can safely handle.  1/2mg. if you need too.

[Fenrir]

With the liquid there is not need to follow the 10% suggestion of tapering.  It can be done by 1mg. at a time if that is what your body can handle, or even less than that.

 

I know people who had to take miniscule drops in dose to get off Paxil.  They made a decision to forget about the time it took and it did take time.

 

When I was tapering Lexapro and using the liquid I stuck to a drop of one mg. at a time.  10% was too much for me and maybe for you too.

 

Drop what you can safely handle.  1/2mg. if you need too.

I'll go with 1 mg till 10 mg so less than 10% at that point I think I will slow down If I feel ok. At the moment I have to stay put as you said because the fast taper down to 10mg has really damaged me, I had tremors and severe anxiety, now it seems to get better at 14 but I'm still anxious and don't feel good still, I think I have still to stabilise.

[tezza]

Hi Lex, welcome! Yes, please stay put and let your CNS calm down; give yourself as much time as it takes to get as stable as you can.

Lex, I know it's hard to face the prospect of tapering slowly for years. But it will work and you will go on to enjoy the life that's ahead of you. And if you take it slowly enough that you stay well and don't get sick, you may find that once you get to the lower doses, under say 3 mg or so, many of the unpleasant side effects of the medication will go away, which makes the rest of the taper easier to deal with. Your English is excellent! We have so many non-native English speakers on this forum who apologize for their English and I always want to remind them that in the US the majority of people are not fluent in a second language. In fact I meet many people who don't speak a second language at all, not even poorly.  So we are always impressed by people like you who can express themselves so well in English.  You have no need to apologize!

Rhi is a wise woman!Hugs!!!

[Athena]

Hello Lex!

 

We have two points in common. I am not a native English speaker either. I sometimes find it more difficult to express what I really mean in terms of symptoms and expériences from the weaning process, and more so because I have concentration problems as a symptom. But when I try and say what I mean, people here always seem to unsderstand what I am going through, and everybody is nice and accepting. I am sure it will be the same for you and we souldn't let that "barrier" get in the way of sharing our journey!

 

Secondly, I am also going off of Paxil, and this one is a little more tricky! It does take time and for me it can get frustrating. I have the feeling though that you are more patient than I am and that is a big PLUS for you!! I learned not so long ago that we shouldn't get obsessed by the numbers of mg's and just listen to how our bodies react. We should be able to continue doing the activities we can and take it day by day, week by week, month by month, no matter what the numbers are. Take it easy, take care of yourself plenty, and you will do just fine!

 

If you have any questions, I will be happy to help. Sending sunny thoughts your way!

 

Athena

[Fenrir]

After 27 days since updose I'm not stabilising yet, strong anxiety and lack of appetite.

[Fenrir]

I updosed my paxil dosage the 1st of November after a big crash at 10mg developed after 2 months at that dosage, I'm at 14 since November so, but not stabilising yet, I have a very difficult time with anxiety, some nausea, and poor appetite. When all this will pass?

[Petunia]

Hi Lex,

Have you seen any improvement in the 27 days since updosing to 14mg?

 

Because your nervous system became destabilized from tapering too fast, its probably going to take a while longer before you feel really well again.  If I were you, as long as you are not getting obviously worse, I would hold a while longer and see how you feel in a couple more weeks.

 

Don't worry, you will recover, its just going to take longer than you would like.

 

Petu.

[Fenrir]

27 days since th updose, I'm feeling like I'm in CT withdrawal, I don't know why...maybe is the liquid not working, on the box it is written to consume in 52 days and I think mine are being opened for a longer time, could be this?

Edited August 12, 2014 by Petu
fixed text

[Meimeiquest]

Are you on any other meds/supplements?

[Fenrir]

no, only paxil. I take some melatonin in the evening

[Meimeiquest]

I would try a new bottle, marking the day of opening on it. But that may not be the only issue.

[Fenrir]

what could be? I'm thinking to switch to the combo prozac + remeron

[Meimeiquest]

I have no idea, so many things sort out. I read one thread of someone in agony, posts going back and forth for months. Then the person asks, "Do you think the fact that I'm in an abusive relationship has anything to do with this?" Forehead slam. You have to look at everything in your life, including the circumstances around the original depression. But people who have been through CTs and multiple reinstatements often take a lot longer to stabilize. I would suggest reading some of the threads in the symptoms section on anxiety, and the threads on fish oil and magnesium for starters. If you wake up with high anxiety, some of the information on room-darkening and cortisol reduction may help. Good luck!

[findingme]

Sending you healing vibes, Lex.

Treat yourself with lovingkindness

and lean on whoever you can to help you thru this...

also don't forget to give yourself credit for the battle you have fought thus far...

it takes courage and I salute you for it.

[Fenrir]

I have no idea, so many things sort out. I read one thread of someone in agony, posts going back and forth for months. Then the person asks, "Do you think the fact that I'm in an abusive relationship has anything to do with this?" Forehead slam. You have to look at everything in your life, including the circumstances around the original depression. But people who have been through CTs and multiple reinstatements often take a lot longer to stabilize. I would suggest reading some of the threads in the symptoms section on anxiety, and the threads on fish oil and magnesium for starters. If you wake up with high anxiety, some of the information on room-darkening and cortisol reduction may help. Good luck!

Had no depression, I was just sad at the moment the GP prescribed me this junkie. I HAVE depression now in withdrawal and not able to stabilize

[Meimeiquest]

That is SO maddening

[Meimeiquest]

I really think changing to a new bottle is important. And patience. Gentle walks in nature. Fresh natural foods, especially vegetables. And patience. You can certainly do what you want, but changing to new drugs will be unpredictable at best once your nervous system is destabilized like this.

[Fenrir]

I'll get a new bottle then, and try

[Fenrir]

I got new bottles of liquid paxil, still struggling... a question, can a switch to prozac help? Some people say it does not cover the paxil withdrawal and it is not useful, what do you think?

[mammaP]

Hi Lex, I am sorry you are suffering like this.  I wouldn't try the prozac just now,

stick with the liquid and see if the new bottle makes any difference. 

I hope you can feel the difference very soon. 

[Fenrir]

A lttle bit better. I changed the bottle of liquid paxil and started taking that at the beginning of december. 

I have no more tremors and akathisia I don't wake up with anxiety in the morning, but.... still GI issues and lack of appetite.

[mammaP]

Hi Lex, I am so pleased you are feeling a little better.  I think it might be best to hold for

a while longer before cutting again, a cut too soon could have the awful symptoms

back again. 

[Fenrir]

do you think that holding till the end of february is a good idea?

[Sweetcreature]

HI Lex,

 

Sorry you are going trough this -I too am on paxil and am struggling.  See my thread for more details...I am on 20 mg for now and not yet stabilised either :-(  I think holding till the end of feb sounds like a good idea but take further advice from the more experienced ones.  I think in your case and in mine we cant say with any certainty WHEN our tapers should start...we need to be stable for, say three months before another drop...

 

SC

[Altostrata]

Let's see how you do, Lex. You might just relax, enjoy the holidays, and consider tapering perhaps in February.

[Fenrir]

wha I'm asking myself is that my current dosage could give me problems instead of benefits because some symptoms don't go away and someday I feel like back to square one.

[Altostrata]

It may take some time for your nervous system to settle down.

 

What symptoms do you have now?

[Fenrir]

It may take some time for your nervous system to settle down.

 

What symptoms do you have now?

paxil flu, nausea, GI issues, lack of appetite, lethargy alternated with anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, fatigue. :'(

 

I'm not seeing improvements so I don't know if it's worth holding at 14 or start tapering again.

[Altostrata]

Since updosing to 14mg made you feel a little better, you might try 15mg.

[Fenrir]

sorry altostrata but I made a pact with myself, I'm not going to updose anymore, I'll try to level out at this dosage or at least go down and taper.

The fact is that I crashed switching to liquid, I have done fine at 10mg tablets, took them for 2 months then crashed switching to liquid, now, I don't know if the previous drops were catching up with me or maybe I cannot tolerate the liquid or am sensitive to it.

 

do you sugest to hold on this dose or try to taper down?

[Altostrata]

If you're not willing to increase, I would hold.

[Fenrir]

what do you think about the liquid/solid thing?