Fenrir: my Paxil journey

[Fenrir]

Updose seems to make things worse, worsened depression and anxiety, what to do?

[Fenrir]

So it's 2 weeks that I have pain in testicular cysts the urologist discovered, the pain, discomfort is irradiated in low abdmoen, he said it is not cancer but an inflamation only, I hope to recover.

[tgirl]

Hi Lexington

How are you doing?

[Fenrir]

As I was Fenrir on PP and it closed, can I have my name changed in Fenrir? Thank you altostrata

[Fenrir]

more than 1 month ago the 10th of November 2014 after a scrotal ultrasound I started to have testicular pain, at the beginning only in one testical then both. After a month I started to develope burning in my scrotum, penis and uretra (maybe prostatitis?)  My fear is that when I had the ultrasound, the med professional injected something in my testicles, causing me damage intentionally. What do you think?

[Altostrata]

Display name changed as requested.

 

I doubt anyone injected anything intentionally to make you suffer. It's possible you have a reaction to dye or whatever from the test. You should check with the doctor or hospital.

[Fenrir]

no dye it was just ultrasound, I made another testicular ultrasound and it seems ok to the doctor. He prescribed other test, urine and prostate and I'm waiting for the results to come back.

[Fenrir]

So the 10th of november I had a testiular ultrasound and after that I started to have testicular pain, now I have testis pain burning, penis and uretral burning, and I think prostate burning. So the woman who had the ultrasound on me injected something toxic in my testicles.

[Fenrir]

same situation

[bubble]

Did you get the test results back?

 

As Alto said, I don't think anyone injected anything to harm you. If the tests came back negative, which often happens to me, the central nervous system controls and affects the whole body so its destabilisation can affect pretty much anything.

 

How are you doing otherwise?

[Fenrir]

I have low t and I'm only 25 years old. No energy, depression, erectyle dysfunction. and burning in my genital area when urologists says I have not any kind of disease. I don't know how long can I continue living like this. I fear my testicles are damaged. Just found recently I have extremely low levels of testosterone. Don't know what to do, thinking on ending my life.

[alaskamom]

You can get natural testosterone supplements that are safe.  I imagine the typical physician can prescribe something too, but bioidentical hormones are a safer alternative.  Naturopaths are specialists in this area, among other things.  Although I am a female, I have no testosterone and females need some naturally for things to work right.  My naturopath prescribed a testosterone cream (believe it is plant-based or something) that I use daily or every other day.  She did say some men use this as they have low-T.  Who knows - since ADs mess up your brain which controls your body including your hormones, maybe it will return to normal at some point.  In the interim, check out bioidentical hormon replacement...   It works great for me.

[Fenrir]

tomorrow I am seeing an endo just to have an opinion. Very scared of my situation. Thinking of suicide

[alaskamom]

Take a deep breath and calm down.  You will get through this.  Suicide is not a solution.  We all feel hopeless for many reasons -- lots of them pain in some form.  Doctors are not infallible and they are there to add more meds to the mix - they can actually make things worse.

[Fenrir]

My body is completely destroyed, I don't produce testosterone anymore. I'm almost bedridden. Trying to updose to 14 mg in hope to have some improvement. But I don't know because maybe other causes apart paxil have destroyed my body.

[Petunia]

How are you feeling now you have updosed to 14mg?  If this is going to help, it may take a while before you feel better, so please give it some time before making any more changes.

 

I understand that you are not feeling well, but it has only been just over a month since you crashed from skipping doses, then you updosed to 12mg, now again up to 14mg.  It can take several months to stabilize on a dose, if you keep making changes, you are not going to stabilize.

 

If you are genuinely suicidal, please read through this link:

 

Help for those who are feeling desperate or suicidal.

 

Here are details for suicide help in your country:

 

Samaritans - ONLUS
Via San Giovanni in Laterano 250
00184
ROME
Contact by: Face to Face - Phone
Hotline: 800 86 00 22
Hotline: Face to face by appointment only
Website: samaritans-onlus.it
Hours:
    Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun: 13:00 - 22:00

Telefono Amico Italia
CP 337
38100
Trento
Contact by: - Phone
Hotline: 199 284 284
Website: telefonoamico.it

[Fenrir]

I remained at 12, I don't produce testosterone, have to understand why this happened. I had testicular pain and burning from november (after an ultrasonography performed by a radiologist that maybe wanted to harm me) to december/january. Last ultrasonography in december shows nothing wrong. Have other appointments soon to rule out the problem.

[Fenrir]

Nobody can help me?

[mammaP]

How are you feeling Fenrir? Are you still taking the 12mg?  Your nervous system reacted badly to the skipped doses which is sadly what happens when these terrible drugs are taken erratically. I am so sorry that this has happened to you, but I can assure you that you will improve. Please try to stay calm and get through each day the best way you can. One day will be the day that things start to get better, it may be tomorrow, in fact one day it WILL be tomorrow.

 

 I know this all sounds so familiar and feeble right now but take care of yourself, eat as well as you can, avoiding food filled with chemicals and additives. Exercise gently, not a marathon just a walk outside.  Many of us find fish oil helps with withdrawal, and magnesium. You have probably read the topics on those 2 supplements already but in case you haven't  I will post them for you. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

Don't give up, keep going and you will stabilise again.  

[Fenrir]

Psichiatrist suggested switching to zoloft and up the dosage to 50 mg zoloft and switch from paroxetine. The fact is that my mother want me to take it because I'm in withdrawal and she cannot understand how bad it is but ask why I have to suffer and could not work etc. Suggest me what to do.

[Ginger]

Fenrir, I'm really proud of you. You are suffering terribly and feeling hopeless BUT you are hanging on. Things will get better, answers will begin to make sense, life will have meaning beyond suffering some day. Like mammaP suggested, exercise gently--walk don't run, start small and give yourself credit for the small stuff, do a little more and make note of it so you see the progress. When my back was injured once, my physical therapist had to stop all my excersises except one--breathing. I would lie on my back and breath deeply, pushing my stomach out, then pulling it in. It was all I could do, that was 2 years ago. Yesterday I ran 1.2 miles. It has taken lots of therapy and patience but I am determined to run a 5 K this spring. My point is that we need time to heal and overcome our injuries, physical, psychological, spiritual. Ask your mother to be patient. Let her know your goals so she can cheer you on. Make a list of things you would like to do or be able to do. For example, let's say you have a goal to be in bed less. Add a 15 minute interval of sitting up in your room, pick a time and see how it goes. As you can add reading, visiting with your mom, brushing a pet, something that is right for you. In a family setting it is always nice to have family rituals like setting the table for dinner. Maybe you could set the table. The ten percent rule for tapering is also good for increasing activities, increase in small chunks and see how you feel.

[Altostrata]

Fenrir, what are your current symptoms? Do they follow any pattern throughout the day?

[Fenrir]

Fenrir, what are your current symptoms? Do they follow any pattern throughout the day?

anxiety, sexuality is gone, depression, fatigue, low testosterone.

I generally feel better in the evening just because the day of a life like this is over

 

Alto, you have so much experience, tell me what to do. I'm very worried for my sexuality.

[Ginger]

Fennir, how are you?

[Fenrir]

Hello my dear friends, what an incredible year it has been...I stopped paxil in september but let me tell you what happened to me in the last year.
So, on march 21 2015, last year my voice disappeared..it took me 3 months to regain it, vocal therapist and medician told me it has been some sort of nerve damage or so...but this is not the end, before the summer I started to have fasciculations and in the summer I lost sensiivty to my right shoulder...so I had an MRI done...NEGATIVE...I was afraid to have multiple sclerosis or something....in august a retinal hemorrage and started seeing some flashing lights which I still see sometimes now. the hemmorrage passed and the opthalmologist said now is everything ok...in december I restarted having fasciculations and happened the same thing it had happened in the shoulder (i regained sensivivity after 5 months) but now in the leg...now I'm very worried I have some illness....I stopped paxil in september, withdrawal went quite fine but I don't know if this symptoms can be related...now, 3 days ago 2 fingers of my hand went numb and still are...very scared. MRI is negative, what could be? Sorry for the english, wrote fast and anxious. Hugs to all.

Fenrir

[Fenrir]

Dear friends, as I said before I stopped paxil in the autumn of 2015...if you don't know my story just read all this thread. I must confess that reading this thread now makes me aware that at the time I was a bit out of my mind, I think due to paxil withdrawal. Very paranoid and worried of the various symptoms I had but it was just compromised body by paxil withdrawal, I have to say now.

Let me tell you that I can consider myself almost completely healed from paxil and paxil withdrawal at least to the point that I can live my life normally now.

Some symptoms and damage remain both in my physique and generally in life because of all the sufference of those years on paxil and in paxil withdrawal.

Thank you all for the support during my worst time. 

Cya

Fenrir

 

 

[ladybug]

This is amazing news, Fenrir! I remember you from PP ( I was Jmarie I think). So happy that you have healed from this poison.

[brassmonkey]

Hi Fenrir--  It's so wonderful to see an old name pop up with a success story.  Congratulations on your recovery.  When you get a chance would you please fill us in on what has been happening for the past 18 months.  

 

Brassmonkey

[Fenrir]

Hey ladybug/jmarie and Brassmonkey, I remember well both of you. Hope you are fine. 

I've never stabilised on a dose after the 14 mg of 2013, after that those of 14 mg I have been in constant withdrawal and pain as you can read on the thread. I stopped cold turkey the medication in the autumn of 2015 and let me tell you that I felt immediately better at 0 compared to 10 or 12 mg but I understand I have been on the medication much less time compared to many of you. After I stopped I had some symptoms and various illnesses of every kind (eye problems, hormonal problems, transitory damage to some nerves of my body, I think  all this due to a compromised immune system, this happened both on and during the first time of being completely off paxil. But as I said after some months off the medication I felt good again. I have still to face many problems due to the years left disabled during withdrawal and also still have some problems (mainly PSSD).

 

You can ask me more if you want other details and feel free to contact me privately or not at any moment if you want

 

How are you doing?

Cya

[bhasski]

On 2/8/2016 at 0:08 AM, Fenrir said:

Hello my dear friends, what an incredible year it has been...I stopped paxil in september but let me tell you what happened to me in the last year.
So, on march 21 2015, last year my voice disappeared..it took me 3 months to regain it, vocal therapist and medician told me it has been some sort of nerve damage or so...but this is not the end, before the summer I started to have fasciculations and in the summer I lost sensiivty to my right shoulder...so I had an MRI done...NEGATIVE...I was afraid to have multiple sclerosis or something....in august a retinal hemorrage and started seeing some flashing lights which I still see sometimes now. the hemmorrage passed and the opthalmologist said now is everything ok...in december I restarted having fasciculations and happened the same thing it had happened in the shoulder (i regained sensivivity after 5 months) but now in the leg...now I'm very worried I have some illness....I stopped paxil in september, withdrawal went quite fine but I don't know if this symptoms can be related...now, 3 days ago 2 fingers of my hand went numb and still are...very scared. MRI is negative, what could be? Sorry for the english, wrote fast and anxious. Hugs to all.

Fenrir

Hi fenrir,

Very happy for your recovery and hopeful again as I also CTed Paxil in Nov,15.

Still suffering and hoping it would pass soon.

 

You mentioned your fingers got numb. 

I too had my pinky and ring finger got numb and had to go thru ulnar surgery as doctors said to operate for ulnar neuropathy which is a blockage.

Its been 10 mos of surgery and I  am still not recovered.

Did your problem resolve on you own ?

[Fenrir]

Yes the problem solved on its own, I had also neuropathy in other parts of my body but now they have somehow recovered although the sensitivity in those points it is still not 100% but I'd say 95%...don't know if they were linked or not to paxil withdrawal. Anyway now I can say I'm overall good.

[bhasski]

21 hours ago, Fenrir said:

Yes the problem solved on its own, I had also neuropathy in other parts of my body but now they have somehow recovered although the sensitivity in those points it is still not 100% but I'd say 95%...don't know if they were linked or not to paxil withdrawal. Anyway now I can say I'm overall good.

Is there anything that you did that helped other than waiting for it to heal?

 

I specially meant for supplements or eating habits?

I had tried a lot of various ... but rarely anything helped. 

My main issue is loss of interest in anything and anger filled in of nowhere.

[Fenrir]

I did not take anything except sometimes a multivitamin supplement or vitamin b supplement but I think you have just to wait to heal

[Pedroknopfler]

On 31/8/2017 at 2:37 PM, Fenrir said:

Hola ladybug / jmarie y Brassmonkey, recuerdo bien a los dos. Espero que estés bien. 

Nunca me estabilicé con una dosis después de los 14 mg de 2013, después de eso los de 14 mg he estado en constante abstinencia y dolor como puede leer en el hilo. Dejé de fumar el medicamento en el otoño de 2015 y déjame decirte que me sentí inmediatamente mejor en 0 en comparación con 10 o 12 mg, pero entiendo que he tomado la medicación mucho menos tiempo en comparación con muchos de ustedes. Después de que me detuve tuve algunos síntomas y varias enfermedades de todo tipo (problemas oculares, problemas hormonales, daño transitorio en algunos nervios de mi cuerpo, creo que todo esto debido a un sistema inmune comprometido, esto sucedió tanto en la primera vez como estar completamente fuera de paxil. Pero como dije después de algunos meses de tomar la medicación, me sentí bien otra vez. Todavía tengo que enfrentar muchos problemas debido a los años que quedan incapacitados durante la abstinencia y también tengo algunos problemas (principalmente PSSD).

 

Puede preguntarme más si desea otros detalles y no dude en ponerse en contacto conmigo en privado o no en cualquier momento si lo desea

 

¿Como estas?

Cya

How is your PSSD now?

[Altostrata]

Fenrir, how are you doing?