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mattinsmom

Dumped after 8-years without any warning

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mattinsmom

Hi  

 

I just want to know how anyone else has dealt with a love swearing they are there for you one minute, constantly saying the relationship is fine, and then without warning, dumping you. I got the "Its not you, its me"  She says she loves me too much to let herself fall in love with someone else (male) who can give her the picket fence and 2.5 babies. She didn't know how to tell me so she kept saying everything was fine.

 

There are non-biological kids involved. She's known them since they were 4 and 2 and they consider her another mother. I can't simply walk away and lick my wounds. 

 

 
Obviously much more than that but looking for advice from anyone else who has been completely blindsided in a relationship at the beginning of tapering?
 
current meds:
Lamictal 350 mg since Oct 10, 1013
Prilosec 40mg since sometime around then
Lorazapam,2mg for years
Wellbutrin 225mg reflective of a 25%drop on Nov 21, 2013 (not willing at moment to increase)  

 

 

 

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alex

Hello mattinsmom;yes, it happened to me when I was at the worst of my w/d.

She "loved" so much, until she saw me sick as a dog, and then flew away.

I did suffered at first, adding more pain to this very difficult process, but then I rationaly uderstood that neither the person or the relationship was worth my suffering and now learned to separate the wheat from the chaff.

 

The MOST important thing now is your recovery, no matter what.

 

Wishing you well, A.

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UnfoldingSky

That's a very hard thing to go through at any point, let alone when you have started a taper.  I lost a very dear friend of mine while in withdrawal, to some unusual and upsetting circumstances, which differ from what you wrote, but were hard nonetheless. It was agonizing, and still upsets me.  I hope you can find some peace of mind, and remember if it affects the taper unless you are in dire need of getting off the drugs (i.e. if you are reacting adversely to them) then you can always hold until you have managed to heal a bit from this.  Take care of yourself.

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Nikki

Wow that is painful....yes I was blindsided and it takes time to accept it and then move on.

 

I think about this periodically and it may help you....in the Four Agreements by Miquel Ruiz he says that when a person who has not treated you well walks away from you consider it a blessing because if you remained together there would be many more years of unhappiness,

 

Even though it hurts ~ and you may not feel this way now ~ you will be better off.

 

Hang in there.

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mattinsmom

Thank you all for your support. I've loved and lost before but this one was so unforeseen. I expect things to be bumpy for awhile. I wish noone could relate because I hate to think you all have been hurt but its nice to not feel so alone in all of this. 

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mammaP

Amy I am so sorry this has happened to you.  I wish I could take away the pain for you. 

Huge Mamma hugs on their way. xxx

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mattinsmom

mommaP - Hugs were so felt.Thank you 

I'm ok. We've talked, fought, laughed, cried, and have a long way to go for friendship (and only friendship). I feel validated and I set my boundaries.. I am holding on the med drop until things are more comfortable. I thank you all for your support! 

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Bellisimo

aaaw im so sorry to hear this :(

I SO KNOW The feeling when someone say "i love you" then next day " Im leaving you"

 

I start to doubt if the person even loved me then .. feels so weird

 

and its groose and awful

 

so sorry for you :( *HUGS*

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Bellisimo

Hello mattinsmom;yes, it happened to me when I was at the worst of my w/d.

She "loved" so much, until she saw me sick as a dog, and then flew away.

I did suffered at first, adding more pain to this very difficult process, but then I rationaly uderstood that neither the person or the relationship was worth my suffering and now learned to separate the wheat from the chaff.

 

The MOST important thing now is your recovery, no matter what.

 

Wishing you well, A.

YES! same thing happened to me for only a few days ago, in the worst of my w/d the man who said one day earlier he loved me , left me all alone.. how can ppl do this ? I cud never ever leave a person who going thru a hell , its like shooting someone who is allready laying half dead on ground .. :,(

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Wildflower0214

This happened to me in the beginning of WD, although at the time the shrink told me I was having a breakdown. I had no idea what was happening. My bf began acting like inwas a burden. This is a man who wanted to marry me. Ya, ok. I kicked him to the curb because I could feel him pulling away, so I did it for him. Broke my heart. Really. Makes me wonder how people stay married if their stamina for suffering with one another is so limited.

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melcita

Yep was left too after 6 years it the middle of brutal wd...

It doesn't seem that unusual unfortunately.

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Wildflower0214

I'm sorry :-/ this seems to be a common experimce around here. Sad

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melcita

Yeah it does....I guess it really is hard and horrific for the caretaker too...but when we are well. New men will be waiting.

In german we say, also other mothers have handsome sons....sounds better in german

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Wildflower0214

Yes, well in southern girl Appalachian mountain lingo we say.... I don't think we have a saying... Lol

 

Haha. :P

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